


Renovating the Heart

by Mrs_Strife



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Ending, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family, Final Fantasy XV Spoilers, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecurity, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (2016), Loneliness, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Murder, Revenge, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2020-01-12 09:33:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 64
Words: 219,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18443828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Strife/pseuds/Mrs_Strife
Summary: A social klutz with self-isolating tendencies, Rue struggles to find the means to her end as she fails one job after another, only to be gifted another chance by Prompto when he convinces Ignis that he needs a personal assistant to help him juggle his daily responsibilities. As a new opposition to Noctis rises, Ignis finds himself battling an internal conflict that only he can resolve.





	1. Pull It Together

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy!
> 
> First off, very excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
> 
> Second, I'm going to be honest: I haven't written a fic that's in the third person, past tense, and has its own, brand-spanking-new plotline in YEARS. Like five years. This should be interesting.
> 
> Third, this story does reference my big FFXV fic called Rayne Drops, but not enough to cause confusion or mess with the plot, and there are no real spoilers to that one until about six chapters into this bad boy, so you can read that whenever you want if you should feel so inclined.
> 
> Finally, don't be afraid to beat me into the dirt with constructive criticism. I don't know what the hell I'm doing and that's okay; tell me what you see that's funky or could be improved! PLEASE. 
> 
> I'll shut up now (figuratively). Enjoy!

 

The tiles were cold against the pale skin of the folded legs that pressed against them. The low melody of another generic pop song echoed off the smooth white walls and an ever-so-slightly flat voice sang along quietly. The tune was occasionally covered by the satisfying sound of blades slicing through strand after strand until knobby knees were surrounded by mismatched piles of inky black hair.

Feet pressed to the floor and pushed a slender woman upward, her faded eyes catching sight of the chipped polish on her toes and her sore throat pouring out a sigh. The blinding light that beamed down from overhead cast dark shadows across her freckled face as she snipped a final section off the back and let the silver scissors clatter unto the smooth counter like a small announcement of victory. But there was no feeling of satisfaction, no sense of accomplishment. Trembling fingers tucked a piece of hair away from her tear-stained cheeks; blue-gray eyes overflowed with defeat. She still felt dirty.

Taking a deep breath, the young woman squared her shoulders and flicked the light off sharply, leaving the mess for later. Her right arm raised and scrubbed away her tears and her left hand ran through her chopped locks, pulling out little snipped bits that she had yet to brush out—if she ever got to that point. The light of the sun rising over the city slowly began to creep into her small apartment as she waited for the coffee machine to quit its gurgling. The smell of cheap grounds and vanilla-flavored cream wafted into the air, lifted by clouds of steam.

Carrying her mug to the futon across the carpeted floor, she sat down, crossing her legs and pulling the thin curtains open to watch the sun drag itself into the sky. Beams of light shot out from edges and corners of towering glass skyscrapers and rows upon rows of coffee shops, boutiques, and restaurants. Feeling some semblance of peace at last, she closed her eyes and brought the ceramic mug to her lips, taking a cautious sip of the piping hot beverage. Her eyes fluttered open again and her nose crinkled a touch. Too sweet.

The next signal to move was when the light reached over the top of an old friend's favorite book store. She had timed this a hundred times before—if she got dressed and left within five minutes of this occurrence, she would reach the Citadel with two minutes to spare. Two minutes meant she was in a hurry; no one would bother to stop for a chat. Just the way she liked it. She set her mug in a sink that had been collecting dishes for well over a week and headed to her bedroom to pull on the same clothes she brought to the heart of Insomnia nearly every day. On her way out the door, she tugged a bulky denim jacket off the door and slung it over her slender shoulder before locking up and stuffing the key into the side of her boot.

The morning air should have felt heavier with that amount of rain that had fallen over the past month or so. Puddles lined every street and water droplets clung to railings and the eaves of roofs, letting go to drip onto the sidewalk or an unsuspecting passerby's head every so often. The woman pulled her jacket on as she went, ignoring the buzzing of her phone in her pocket.

This walk was the same as it always had been over the past month—but the feeling was different. Her stomach was lead, her heart was on the verge of pounding, and her nerves were just barely quelled by her deep, steady breaths that puffed out into the air as steam. This was the day they got their results back. The day they found out if all the work they'd put in over the past six weeks was worth it. The day they were chosen as the new set of glaives.

The side door to the soldiers' practice wing felt particularly heavy as she threw it open and rushed inside, her pace quickening as the thud of her boots echoed through the polished halls. More people than ever roamed the walkway, anxiously pacing and talking amongst themselves.  _City guard,_ she thought, eyeing an older pair of men that grumbled to each other on a cushioned bench.  _Must be._ This was the day that  _everyone_ found out who King Noctis thought was the worthiest of protecting himself, his people, and his beloved troupe of close friends, two of whom who happened to be the heads of the Kingsglaive. His Majesty never showed up to a training session or fight, of course, so everything he heard came straight from the mouth of either Gladiolus Amicitia or Rayne Callen, his pair of dutiful shields. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least.

Peeling her jacket off, the woman stepped into the wide training room and lined up with her fellow recruits, tossing the lump of material to the base of the wall somewhere behind her. The woman next to her clasped her hands behind her back and leaned over, keeping her voice low.

"Cuttin' it close again, huh, Rue?" she teased, glancing over with sparkling brown eyes.

"I'm here on time, aren't I?"

"I dunno, Rayne gave you a  _look_ when you came in."

"She did  _not,"_ Rue scoffed under her breath. "Axel's not even here yet."

"Yeah, but she adores Axel," the woman snorted. Across the room, the burly, towering figure of Gladiolus, Gladio for short, stood with his arms crossed, the corner of his mouth quirking up at something Rayne muttered into his ear. The man's eyes flickered over to Rue and her heart sank. "What's with the haircut? Going for a new look?" Quickly, she shoved her friend away, turning her gaze to the slender man standing across the wide room.

"Shut up, Relir."

Chuckling, Relir shook her head and straightened her shoulders, face as smug as always. Rue sighed, watching the man adjust the weight of the papers in his arms as he strode up to Rayne and Gladio, pushing his glasses up higher with the tip of his middle finger. When he got closer, she recognized him as Ignis Scientia, the prim-and-proper tactician turned advisor to the King. He murmured something to Gladio to make the giant of a man snort and Rayne stepped forward to speak just as the clock hit nine.

As if on cue, the door swung wide open and a young man with wild red hair and even wilder green eyes ran into the gym, skidding to a stop beside Rue and straightening. Rayne hid a smile and shook her head, her long, blonde hair swishing back and forth, constrained in a ponytail.  _Must be a nightmare to deal with._

"Guys, seriously, I can practically smell the fear in the room right now," Rayne teased, cracking a wide smile. Sure, she was nice enough, funny, too, but the woman was  _terrifying_ when she was angry. "Just think of it like this: those of you who are ready got the job. Those of you who aren't just got your asses saved."

"That's reassuring," Axel scoffed, earning a stern but playful scowl.

"I hope for my sake that you didn't make the cut," Rayne retorted, her violet eyes sparkling.

"Quit flirting," Gladio grumbled. "Get to the point."

" _Well then_ ," Rayne huffed, shaking her head. "Iggy, you have the list?"

"Of course," Ignis replied, handing over a thick sheet of paper containing twenty-five names. Twenty-five out of thirty-eight people made the cut. Rue shuddered. Her chances were slim, but she  _needed_ this. There was no redemption otherwise. What else could she do?

"Alrighty," Rayne breathed out, scanning over the list before pursing her lips and sighing. "Man, this is hard. Okay." She groaned dramatically. "Axel Carmen, you're in. Unfortunately."

Cheering, Axel threw a fist in the air and nearly knocked Rue over when he stumbled clumsily. Rolling her eyes, Rayne read down the list slowly, letting each person have their moment of relief. Rue recognized a few: Dex, Eren, and Relir, each to whom she gave a hug which she was obligated to give. Listening intently, Rue rocked back and forth on her feet. Toes to heels, heels to toes. Rayne very obviously was at the last name as she began to fold the paper in half and hand it over to Ignis. Rue's heart caught in her throat. She thought for sure Rayne's eyes met hers for what was longer than necessary before she spoke.

"Gracen Tyke, welcome aboard."

Rue's heart immediately fell through the floor as the man across the room bellowed out a triumphant shout, surrounded by recruits that voiced their congratulations. She could feel the blood draining from her face and her stomach churning. Her nails dug into her palms and her mouth became dry. Why were they all laughing?  _This can't be right. That was twenty-five?_ Relir's smile melted away quickly and she patted Rue on the back awkwardly.

"That's... Shit, that's tough. I'm really sorry, Rue. I know how much you wanted this." When she didn't receive a reply she pushed further, uncomfortable. "Listen, if it's any consolation, I would have put you on that team. You're a good fighter."

"Wasn't good enough apparently," Rue grumbled, shifting away from Relir's touch.

Already, she was subconsciously devising a plan, a confrontation, anything to get her point across. As much as she wanted to deny that she was capable of throwing a tantrum, she already knew what she was going to do. Those people with their lives set in place because of their parents and everyone else who died before them... They needed to be dragged back down from the heavens and realize what it was like to live the life she lived. A storm was brewing and there was no umbrella that could shield them from the downpour.

"Don't get like that," Relir scoffed. "There're other chances to serve the—"

"This isn't about serving anyone," Rue muttered, watching Gladio crack his knuckles absently. Exasperated, Relir rolled her eyes and rested her hands on her hips.

"Fine. Listen, me and the guys are going to that new place for lunch later. You should join."

"... You and the guys that made it?" Rue only earned a scowl. "Sorry, sorry." She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Thanks, but I'll pass. There's someone I need to talk to."

"You sure?"

Rue frowned. Her friend was usually such a hard-ass. The "Suck it up, Buttercup" type. The pitiful attempts at comfort and inclusion were entirely new, and she wasn't sure she liked them. Shaking her head, Rue turned her gaze to the glossy wooden floor.

"Yeah. I gotta save money until I find a new placement anyway."

"Dex can pay."

"No," Rue huffed. "So that I can pay him back with fifty percent interest? I'm good, really." Before Relir could reply, Gladio's deep voice cut through the conversation and demanded everyone's attention.

"Alright, get outta here," he bellowed, waving for everyone to head toward the doors. "Glaives, go down the hall. Everyone else, go home."

 _Go home?_ Rue's brow creased as her frown deepened. Relir patted her on the back once more before turning on her heels and joining the rest of the glaives that were selected. Clenching and unclenching her fists at her sides, Rue took a deep breath and willed her haywire nerves to settle. She needed this more than anyone in the entire  _Citadel._ She  _deserved_ it. No one was going to steal her only chance at freedom—she refused to go down without a fight.


	2. Alternative

“I needed them all to sign their forms, you know.” Ignis pressed a finger to his glasses to push them up as he shot Rayne a pointed look. She merely scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Listen, Iggy. You can get your paperwork done later. There’re a thousand things I need to tell them before they put their names on any waivers.”

“These are far more than waivers,” the advisor muttered. Gladio clapped a hand down on his friend’s back, flashing a broad grin.

“Don’t worry about it, Iggy. You’ll get the shit you need eventually.”

“I need it  _now,_ Gladio,” Ignis bit back bitterly. Gladio reached forward and pulled a thin pile of pages off the top of Ignis’ stack, thumbing through each quickly. With a grunt, he tossed them back on top.

“This is all boring legal stuff. We’re on Noct’s good side—it can wait.”

“I’m not worried about Noct—”

“Iggy,” Rayne snapped, flashing a smile moments later as she calmed herself. “I’ll send them your way after this meeting, I swear. It’s just  _really_ important that they fully understand what they’re getting themselves into.”

“I think they understand by now.”

Rue wanted to melt through the floorboards as three pairs of burning eyes bored into her. If looks could kill, she would be nothing but a pile of ashes on the ground the instant the words spilled past her lips.  _You’re a goddamn idiot…_ Stuttering, she squared her shoulders to give off the appearance of confidence; she looked like a scared anak with a mediocre posture.

“Hi, Rue,” Rayne finally said, though she sounded both hesitant and irate.

“Hi,” Rue breathed out, shaking her head. “I’m, uh, sorry to interrupt. I just—” She cut herself off upon meeting the sharp eyes of Ignis Scientia.  _Holy shit, calm down, dude._ He looked  _pissed._ She turned back to Rayne. “I need to talk to you about the selection.” The king’s primary shield sighed, glancing up at Gladio. “I-it’s just that—”

“We have to be somewhere right now,” Rayne interrupted. Rue was shocked that she sounded genuine. She thought for sure the soldier was going to chew her out right there. Gladio nodded, resting a hand at the base of Rayne’s back as he pushed her towards the door. “Meet me in my office in half an hour. You know where that is?”

“Yeah,” Rue nodded, shuffling away from Ignis.

The advisor shot the two a final scowl before turning and heading for the opposite door, his arms still loaded with a thick, heavy stack of forms for the new glaives. All alone in the broad expanse of a gymnasium, Rue ran a trembling hand through her hair and scanned the shelves of training weapons that lined the back wall. How many hours had she spent in here over the last six weeks doing nothing but practicing and fighting and asking for advice? How many people had she seen drop from the program or get the boot before the final pool was left? And for what? She kicked at the floor, shaking her head.  _A waste of time is all it was._

Tearing her eyes away from the racks, she headed out the same door Ignis left through and walked toward the staircase that would carry her to the second floor, where the King’s four close friends and servants had their offices along with the man in charge of the guards and Cor the Immortal. Very few people tended to roam around the Citadel, and today was no different. The silence of the second floor was a sharp contrast to the bustling busyness of the first. Rue slowly paced down the hallway, reading the plaques that hung beside the heavy black and silver doors as she passed them. The office she sought was placed between those of Gladiolus Amicitia and Cor Leonis. The sign outside read: “Rayne Callen: Kingsglaive Administrator.” Rue snorted, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms.  _They couldn’t come up with a better title? She’s a ** **hero.****_

“Haven’t seen you up here before.” Rue jumped, looking up to see a grinning young man standing before her. He was dressed head to toe in the uniform of the guards that lined every nook and cranny of the Citadel, minus the helmet. “You one of the new glaives?”

“… Not quite.”

“Not quite?”

“It’s complicated,” she muttered, unsure of how to react to the unusually cheery man. It wasn’t often that someone around here so much as acknowledged her existence, much less  _smiled_. Unfazed, he combed his thick brown hair out of his face and stuck out a hand.

“The name’s Cam.”

“Rue,” she replied, shaking his hand gingerly. She nodded to his attire. “You’re part of the security, right?”

“You could say that,” he chuckled. Rue frowned, peering down the hallway to see if Rayne was coming yet. This guy, this  _Cam,_ gave her the creeps. “I’m captain of the guard, actually.”

“ _You_?” Rue blinked at him in disbelief. He looked hardly a day older than twenty-two. “You’re a  _kid._ ”  _Shoot, another thing I probably shouldn’t have said._ “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” he laughed, his blue eyes sparkling. “I get it all the time. To be honest, the only reason I have this job is because I’m Cor’s nephew.”

“I’m sure you live up to the expectations,” Rue reassured him, offering a slight smile.

“I mean, yeah. Otherwise they would have fired me,” he shrugged. Her expression faltered.  _Right._ “Anyway, it was nice meeting you. Will I see you around here often?”

“Um…”  _I hope not._ “We’ll see.”

“Ah. Complicated, right?” He shook his head, scratching at the back of his head. “I’ve gotta go make sure my men haven’t blown anything up. I’ll possibly, maybe, see you later, Rue.”

“Yeah,” she huffed, watching the guard’s back as he strode away, hands jammed in his pockets. “Weirdo.” Rolling her eyes, she leaned her head back against the wall.  _How much longer?_

After what felt like centuries, Rue heard footsteps echoing down the hallway. Rayne arched an eyebrow upon meeting her gaze, nodding toward her office door. Silently, Rue pushed it open and stepped inside, curiously looking around the small room. A glossy black desk stood straight ahead, lined with papers, knickknacks, and a laptop computer. The back wall was made up of two broad windows overlooking Insomnia and between them hung a model gunblade in a display case. Rayne stepped around her and leaned back against the edge of her desk, crossing her arms. Rue closed the door and stared back uncertainly.

“You wanna sit?” Rayne asked, nudging the seat before her with the toe of her boot. Rue shifted on her feet.

“I think I have too much energy to sit down right now.”

“I understand.” Rayne cocked her head to the side, her fingertips playing with the end of her long ponytail. “So?”

“Where to begin,” Rue laughed nervously, shrugging as she jammed her pale hands in her pockets. “I guess I should just be blunt, huh?” Taking a deep breath, she forced her eyes to meet the older woman’s. “I need to be in this program.”

“Why?”

Rue paused. She’d prepared a whole defense for Rayne’s answer. This wasn’t what she expected. She thought she would have to get on her knees and beg, throwing out excuse after excuse, not honestly explain herself.

“I…” Rue swallowed hard, terror gripping her heart. She was utterly and completely unprepared. “Well, I need a job, and I need the pay.”

“You can’t get a job anywhere else?”

“Of course I could, but I need a job  _here_  where I can leave this place every once and a while, you know? After what happened, I can’t relax when I’m in Insomnia.”

“Then take a vacation outside the city,” Rayne shrugged. “Or better yet,  _move._ No one’s forcing you to live here, Rue.” Rue sighed. Maybe this would be as hard as she originally thought.

“Okay, fine. I just don’t understand why I wasn’t chosen, then. I never once missed any practices or received any negative feedback. Everyone told me I was doing great!” She threw her arms out to the side, exasperated.  _“_ I gave this  _everything_ I had and apparently it didn’t pay off.” Sighing, she shook her head. “I just… I need another chance. Please. I promise I’ll prove myself to you.”

“It’s not  _me_ you have to convince,” Rayne replied, sitting on her desk and crossing her legs. “This was all Noct—er, His Majesty. He received the stats, abilities, and strengths of each candidate and chose based off of that.” She shrugged, eyeing the dark bookshelf lining the left wall of her office before looking back to Rue. “And I’m sorry to say it, Rue, but you were just  _painfully_ mediocre. The people who weren’t chosen purely because there weren’t enough spots are the ones who are getting the second chance. You weren’t anywhere near the top.”

“But I also wasn’t anywhere near the bottom,” Rue pointed out hopefully. Shaking her head, Rayne allowed a half smile.

“No, you weren’t, but ‘not at the bottom’ doesn’t exactly cut it when it comes to the king’s life, now does it?” She leaned back, picking at her boots. “Ever think the Glaive just isn’t the career for you?”

“Why, because I was  _‘painfully mediocre’?_ ”

“No.” Rayne straightened, picking up a framed photo that was hidden behind the screen of her computer. She turned it to show Rue the photograph; it was filled with familiar faces. All heroes—King Noctis and his regiment of best friends, including Rayne herself, the mechanics that lived outside of Insomnia, Iris Amicitia, her younger brother Signum, and Cor. “Everyone in this picture has something in common.”

“They live to serve the King.”

“Nice textbook answer,” Rayne snorted. “I mean, yeah, okay. But every single one of these people didn’t have a choice about where their lives went, except for Cid and Cindy, of course.” She smiled softly at the image before placing it back and turning back to Rue. “I know it’s hard for you to hear this from someone who had her who life set up before she was even born, but you can  _choose_ where you go. You don’t have to be here. That’s more than I could ever say.”

“You’re saying I shouldn’t be asking for a career in what I need because you never had a choice?” Rue frowned. Rayne’s patience had clearly run out as her face fell and she stood up, staring down at her visitor.

“I’m saying you should probably look for a new dream job before you get someone killed. Quit acting like you deserve this more than anyone else.”

“I don’t mean to point fingers, but some of those people are  _not_ good. The things they’ve bragged about doing or that they plan to do—”

“Rue, every single one of those people had a background check.” Rayne crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. “After Insomnia fell, there was no record of who anyone was—at least, not the people with a perfect track record. Every single person that went through that has a criminal record; you’re no exception.” Rue’s face fell and she chewed on the inside of her cheek.  _Shit_ _._ “If I’m not mistaken, yours was one of the more extensive lists, but not the most. And yet we still placed our trust in you. Why do you think that is?”

“I doubt many lay people would be able to handle the weight,” Rue sighed. This entire conversation was pushing her over the edge of what she could socially, emotionally, mentally handle.

“True,” Rayne nodded. “But my thinking was more along the lines of change. The Darkness changed everyone, no matter what they came from before.”

“Not everyone,” Rue muttered, kicking at the smooth floor. She shook her head. “Fine; don’t give me a shot at the Kingsglaive. What about guard duty?”

“Guard duty means you leave  _less_ ,” Rayne pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s  _something._ ”

“… Are you ever going to tell me why you so desperately need to be hired here?”

“I’ll try to avoid it as long as I can.”

“Right,” Rayne huffed. “Fine. I’ll talk to Cam for you, but I can’t vouch for you past that, understand? Guard duty’s not my territory.”

“Really!?” Rue perked up immediately, her eyes brightening and her frown fading away. Her heart fluttered with relief.

“Yeah.” Rayne nodded toward the door. “I’ll call him tonight. He should contact you after that if he’s interested. If you excel there for a bit,  _maybe_ Gladio and I will consider letting you in.”

“Thank you so much.” Rue tucked her hair behind her ear and awkwardly crossed her arms, unsure how to handle the situation now that it (sort of) turned in her favor. “I swear you won’t regret this.”

“I hope.”

Rue left the office feeling victorious, walking on the clouds. The door closed behind her and that almost immediately changed. The blood drained from her face and her heart fluttered. Had she really just done that? Gone into a  _very_ important woman’s office and  _begged_ for any job at all as long as it involved bloodshed? Suddenly, she felt sick. Shuddering, she quickly started to leave. At least she could go straight home. At least there was that.


	3. Anticipation

The door to her apartment door shrieked as it was shoved open; the dishes in the sink rattle when it was shut. Rue took a deep breath, pressing her back to the panel of painted wood and slid to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest as she replayed her conversation with Rayne.  _Guard duty._ She would have to make sacrifices, but it could work. It would just take more  _time. Well… Not if I find a chance to be the hero._ Saving the King’s life especially would prove her worth and she’d climb the ranks even faster. Nodding, she dragged herself to her feet and kicked her boots off before heading to the kitchen.  _Time to clean up._

Just as she set the last plate in its place above her countertop, her cellphone vibrated in the pocket of her jacket. Startled, she dried her hands on a damp cloth and answered the call without so much as checking the number.

“Hello?” she answered quickly, practically shaking with anticipation.

“Rue?” Her heart sank. That wasn’t Cam’s voice.

“Hey, Eren,” she sighed, pulled herself up onto the counter. “What’s up?”

“Oh, y’know, nothing much.” Eren paused for a moment, muttering something in a low voice before returning to his phone. “Except I possibly smuggled your cat back into this building and I’m on my way to your place. ‘On my way’ as in I’m literally walking down the hall.”  _Shit_ _._

“No warning whatsoever?”

“It was, uh, kind of spur of the moment.”

“Gotcha.” Three thuds echoed throughout the apartment. Rue rolled her eyes and headed for the door.

“I’m knocking.”

“I figured.” She pulled the door open to see the young man standing in front of her, clutching a wriggling backpack to his chest. “You put her in a  _backpack?!”_ she shrieked in a hushed voice, ending the call and beckoning for him to enter. The door slammed behind him and he immediately dropped to his knees and unzipped the bag. “Eren, what the  _hell_ _?”_

“I didn’t have anything else,” he huffed, standing and shaking his spikey brunette hair out of his face. His big hazel eyes peered up at her through thin lenses from where he crouched on the floor. “I’m really sorry.” Pinching the bridge of her nose with one hand and gripping her hip with the other, Rue shook her head and turned to watch the sleek cat bound toward the couch.

“It’s okay. Thanks for bringing her.”

Eren nodded, zipping the backpack back up and setting it against the wall. He looked around, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets. Uncomfortable silence was quick to swallow them, but Rue jumped from its jaws and headed toward the kitchen. Eren followed slowly, clearing his throat.

“How are you, uh, feeling?”

“Fine,” she shrugged, using a rag to wipe down the smooth granite countertops. “I talked to Rayne about the selection.”

“Wait, what?”

“What?” Rue turned to face her friend, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing, it’s just…” Eren shrugged, pushing his glasses up. “I dunno. You never struck me as the confrontational type.”

“Oh, trust me, I’m not,” Rue scoffed, smiling. “I don’t know what happened; I guess I got desperate. Anyway, she said she couldn’t offer me a spot in the Glaive. She’s going to talk to the captain of the guard and see if I can’t get a position there until she has enough space for another member.”  _It’s not ** **too**** far off._

“That’s… actually not too bad.” He glanced toward the couch as Rue’s cat jumped from cushion to cushion, batting at the material with her small paws. “Did she say how long that would take?”

“No,” Rue shook her head. Suddenly, she felt an urge she hadn’t felt in a long time. Smiling to herself, she turned and pulled a bottle of wine from the cabinet behind her. “Want any?”

“I wish I could,” Eren huffed, grinning. “I have to drive across town and talk to my landlord in, like, ten minutes.”

“Oh, so  _that’s_ why you brought her back in such a rush,” Rue muttered under her breath, pouring her drink into a glass. “You’d better get going, then. Wouldn’t want to hold you up.”

“Yeah…” Eren muttered, turning and heading toward the front door. “Thanks for letting me stop by.” He paused, looking back at her with a genuine, warm smile. “I hope things work out for you.”

“I hope so, too.”

With that, the newly recruited glaive left her apartment. Sighing, Rue sat on the couch with her glass of wine and reached out to pet her not-so-legal cat. Eren hosted her when the manager decided to start making surprise visits to her floor’s residents. The slender feline, Honey, crept over and settled in her owner’s lap, purring as pale hands ran over her smooth, tawny fur.

“Have fun at that oddball’s house?” Rue asked quietly, staring at her phone from where it rested on her coffee table.

She took a long drink from her glass and threw her head back, looking out the broad window that lined her wall.  _What am I doing? It’s only twelve… He’s not going to call me until ** **way****  later. _She forced herself to polish off her drink before ushering Honey off her lap and heading back to the kitchen to grab a broom. This was a better time than any to finally get her home back into shape. It was time she quit living in a chocobo stable.

Rue was so involved in her deep cleaning that she hardly heard the phone when it finally did ring. The first two tones went unheard. The third sent her scrambling to her feet and sprinting to her couch. She scooped her phone up, accepted the call and pressed the device close to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Is this Rue Corden?” She breathed a sigh of relief. This was it. It was definitely Cam. She could hear the youthful cockiness in his voice.

“Yes, it is.”

“Hey!” The tone of his voice changed completely; it was jarring. “So, a little birdie by the name of Rayne Callen told me you’re looking to join the Citadel guard. I get that right?”

“Yeah!” Rue cringed at how cheery she sounded. Should she be shooting for professional or excited little girl?

“Here’s the thing.”  _Here we go. He doesn’t want me and he’s going to beat around the bush, isn’t he?_ “We just had a really good guy leave this past week. It was a real hard hit for our men, and it’s something they’re gonna have to get used to.”  _C’mon, just say it already._ “It would only make sense for us to pick someone to take his place based on their skill, yeah? Their strengths and fighting style and records?”  _You don’t want me._ “So… Yeah. You got the job.”

“What?!” Rue almost choked on her words.

“Yup!” Cam laughed on the other end of the line. “The fact that you were even able to make it to the final pool of Kingsglaive recruits proves to me that you have what it takes. You’ve got the skills; now you just need to take orders. You get me?”

“Y-yes, sir.”

“Oh, don’t start with the bull,” he scoffed. “It’s either Cam or Captain. No ‘sir.’”

“I can do that,” Rue nodded, her foot tapping the floor impatiently. “When do I start?”

“Tomorrow, actually, if you can. Drop by my office to pick up your uniform and then I can give you your assignment. Ignis Scientia—you know who he is—will probably want you to sign some ridiculous stack of papers for his precious  _records_ , but after that you’re one of us.”

“Thank you,” Rue breathed, flopping back against the cushions. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I think I might,” Cam chuckled. “Alright, I’ll let you go. See you at seven.”

With that, he ended the call. Rue sat in silence, slumped against the back of the couch and wallowing in disbelief. With a sudden burst of energy, she leapt to her feet and jumped up and down, pumping her fists in the air.  _Yes, yes, yes!_ Who cared if she had to be there bright and early every single day? She was one step closer to where she needed to be. A firm knock came from beneath her floorboards and she froze.  _Sorry._

Grinning uncontrollably, she hurried to her bathroom and turned the shower on. It was already fairly late—she needed as much sleep as she could get, and she wasn’t about to wake up earlier to wash. As the hot water ran down her back, she closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh. Maybe, just for once, things would go her way.


	4. Newbie

"Damn, that suits you."

"Um... Thanks?"

Rue shifted uncomfortably as Cam looked her up and down. The uniform was a bit snug in some places, but all in all, it wasn't too itchy or heavy or anything of the sort. It was alarming that he somehow knew her measurements, but she brushed it off and assumed he received the info from Rayne. More like  _hoped._

"What? It does!" Upon receiving a weak, forced smile, Cam huffed and changed the subject. "Come on; I'll show you where you'll be standing guard."

He led the way down the hall and the stairs, holding the door for her when they stepped outside. The sun barely peeked over the horizon as they headed around the side of the Citadel. Finally, he stopped at a vehicle entry point. A middle-aged woman in a matching uniform turned upon hearing them walking toward her.

"Captain," she greeted, her voice cold and stern. Her graying hair was pulled up into a tight bun on top of her head and her face had a distinct lack of wrinkles. Either she'd never smiled a day in her life, or her scalp was pulled so far back by her hairstyle that it gave her a facelift. Perhaps it was a touch of both.

"Gale," Cam acknowledged, nodding. "Meet our new recruit, Rue. It's her first day on the job and I figured there was no one more knowledgeable about guard duty than yourself."

"Hi," Rue smiled, sticking out her hand. Gale arched a thin eyebrow, blatantly turning her down. Awkwardly, Rue let her arm fall back at her side and glanced up at Cam, who seemed a bit offended by the whole interaction.

"She out here the whole day?" Gale demanded.

"Just about. The location will change from day to day, but it's always eight to twelve-hour watch shifts. At least, until we come up with a bigger budget for a bigger group."

"I know that," Gale snapped, her sharp gray eyes flicking back and forth between the two. Cam shrugged.

"The explanation was more for Rue."

"Hmph."

"We'll be back later. The King's advisor wants to see her first thing."

"Doesn't he always?" Gale grumbled, turning her back to them. It was clear she would say no more. Sighing, Cam rubbed at the back of his neck and led the way back inside.

"Is she... always like that?" Rue asked carefully. Cam nodded.

"Yeah... She's really something. But she's the best of the best at what she does; She's been on watch here since King Noctis was a kid. Survived the Fall and everything that came after."

"Damn."

"Right?" Cam motioned for her to head up the stairs, offering a smile. "Alright, you know where to go. Head back to Gale after Scientia wrings you dry and hunt me down if you need anything else." He cocked his head to the side. "I look forward to seeing more of you."

Rue couldn't help but frown as he walked away.  _Does he mean to come off as creepy, or...?_ Shaking her head, she headed up to the offices of the Crownsguard and found the door labeled "Ignis Scientia: Head Tactician and Advisor." She took a deep breath before knocking twice on the door.  _He's really here this early?_ She peered down the hallway; it was dead silent. There was no way these guys had a requirement on when they had to show. The King adored them all too much for  _that._ Well, minus Cam, she supposed.

She turned back to the door.  _Should I knock again?_ Uncertain, she counted to ten, rocking back and forth on her feet.  _Yeah... Guess I should._ Her knuckles rapped against the wood twice more. Hardly a moment after her hand drew away, the door swung wide open and the king's advisor stood before her—no, more like  _towered over_  her—with a scowl on his face. The gnarled scars that twisted the skin around his vivid green eyes made his expression all the more intimidating.

"Once was enough," he said sternly. If his voice had been any louder, Rue was sure she'd have pissed herself right there.

"R-right. Sorry." Ignis didn't move. "Um... Cam sent me?"

"The Captain?" Ignis appeared to be sizing her up through those delicate glasses of his. "You're the new guard."

"Yeah, I—"

"Come in and have a seat."

" _Okay,"_ she huffed under her breath, following the man into the room. He sat behind his desk and briskly picked out a stack of stapled papers. Frowning, she sat across from him in the leather seat on the other side. "Does being advisor include the title of secretary?" she blurted before thinking. She only met with a sharp glare that caused her mouth to snap shut immediately.  _Why the **hell** did I say that?_

"I have a few questions I'll need to ask you before you're free to go," Ignis said, pushing his glasses up quickly and scanning over the first page. "Rayne was supposed to send over your information from her own records, but there's hardly enough here for my forms." He paused, looking up to meet Rue's uncertain gaze. "You have my apologies in that regard."

"It's okay; I can probably answer whatever you need."

"I should hope so." Ignis grabbed a pen from a sleek black container on the corner of his desk and scribbled on a notepad to ensure that the ink would flow. "First, middle, last names?"

"Rue Corden."Ignis had her spell out her name as he wrote it down; his handwriting was disturbingly perfect. She wouldn't be surprised if he'd spent hours of his free time practicing at some point in his life.  _Why can't I fill this shit out on my own?_

"Father's name?"

"Jack Corden."

"Mother's?"

"... I don't know," Rue admitted, staring at her hands as they folded tightly in her lap. She could feel Ignis's sharp eyes flicker up to her before he crossed the section out.

"Age and date of birth. Month and day."

"Twenty-five and May eighth."

"Stand up." Startled, Rue obeyed quickly, getting to her feet. The tactician looked less than pleased to be spending his precious time with this interview.  _Seriously?_ "Height."

"Five feet, six inches."

"Weight?"

"One hundred ten pounds." Ignis eyed her from head to toe and nodded after a moment of silence.

"You're aware you just barely make the weight requirement?"

"... Yeah."  _What are you, my doctor? Buzz off._

Ignis continued to ask question after question about her blood type, her diet, really  _anything_ that a person could think to put on a form was on those papers. It hardly made any sense as to why he needed to know all of this in order for her to have a job standing around all day. Rue leaned forward tiredly, resting her chin in her hands and her elbows on her thighs. It never seemed to end. Her signature here, please. Her thumbprint here, if she didn't mind. Finally, Ignis turned to the last page. For the first time, he hesitated before speaking.

"I apologize for making assumptions, but you  _do_ have a criminal record, don't you?"

"Yeah." Rue prayed it would end at that. It did not.

"I searched through our database last night," Ignis sighed. "Your name never came up, but there's no certainty that the list is correct. I am, therefore, going to read it off and you will tell me if there are any mistakes. Understood?"

"I..." Rue's voice cut out and her throat tightened.  _Am I going to get booted out of here if I'm honest?_ No, that couldn't be. If they gave her a shot at defending the King himself every day, they would let her hang around outside and kick pesky kids off the premises. "Okay..."

"Possession of illegal substances, charges of assault on two accounts." She chewed on her cheek as she nodded and Ignis scribbled away. "Aggravated robbery, another assault charge, possession of illegal weapons." She took a deep breath, cocking her head to the side as she fought unwanted memories. "And two charges of first-degree murder." Ignis looked up once he was finished, eyebrow raised expectantly, and Rue laughed nervously. 

"I, uh, made life a lot harder than it had to be."

"I can see that." The advisor signed his name at the bottom of the page and turned it around, rolling the pen toward her. "That's all I need from you."

"..." Rue took up the pen and started to scrawl her name down on the line. She paused. "I should either be in prison or dead."

"But you're not." Ignis arched an eyebrow. "Had you been here five years ago, you would have never been allowed within a mile of this building at the very least. Time changed the rules and the people who follow them."

"... Yeah." Quickly, Rue finished signing her name and sat back, tucking her hair behind her ear. "That's everything?" Ignis nodded, tucking the papers away into a drawer. Before she could thank him for his time, his phone rang loudly. Quickly, he picked up, pressing a finger to his glasses.

"Noct." Rue suddenly felt as though she shouldn't stay to listen in. Hearing the King's nickname wasn't necessarily new to her, but it still felt  _wrong._ Sometimes she forgot these people were the absolute best of friends. "Of course. I have time between the negotiations and the meeting with the incoming council." Rue backed away slowly, mouthing "Thanks" when the advisor glanced up at her. He made no response, frowning. "It's limited. Thirty minutes is all I have until late this evening." She turned and headed toward the door, stepping into the hall. "How late should I stay?"

Rue closed the door firmly and headed down to her station.  _That poor guy. No wonder he's so cranky._ Then again, from what she'd heard from Gladio and Rayne, he was always like that: uptight and stressed. It was almost unfair that he was given the roles of tactician, advisor, secretary, HR, and obligatory friend all rolled into one. Rue shook her head; it was none of her business.

Gale looked less than happy that Rue had actually returned. The two stood on opposite ends of the driveway and watched the sun crawl up over the edges of the towering glass skyscrapers that made up the city of Insomnia. Over the past two years, businesses and buildings alike had been rebuilt to a shadow of their former glory—everyone was eager to get back to the regular hustle and bustle of life, to try and forget what happened. Gil was adopted as the new kingdom-wide currency to allow the outside world to feel welcome. Meanwhile, the King promised peace amongst all peoples, which was something he still strove for, but it proved to be much harder than he originally thought. It turns out that even after all the horrible things division caused, people still wanted to build borders and create hierarchies of worth.

"So, is it always this quiet out here?" Rue asked, pacing back and forth across the pavement. Gale looked up from where she leaned against the wall in the shade.

"Quieter. I don't usually have little girls asking stupid questions with me."

"... Sorry." Rue could feel her face turning red as she turned away and stared out at the long stretch of road that led to the outside world she'd struggled to survive as the Darkness lingered for three years. Gale shifted, narrowing her eyes.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing here?"

"Guarding this..." Rue looked at the concrete over her head. "Road."

" _Okay,"_ the grouchy woman snorted, glaring at the bright blue sky. A long silence passed between them. "So, spill the beans."

"What?" Rue frowned, facing the other guard. Gale shrugged.

"Who'd you fuck?"

" _Excuse me?_ " If Gale's words were a knife, they just cut all the strings from her heart and sent it tumbling to the rock bottom of her gut.

"No airhead like you winds up on guard duty unless they've got the right connections. Money ain't worth shit anymore, so let me ask again. Who?"

"I didn't sleep with  _anyone_ ," Rue snapped, fists balled at her sides as she scowled. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"It was Cameron, wasn't it?" Gale chuckled shaking her head. "Of course it was. I thought he was givin' you eyes. Now I know why."

"What?!"

"Listen,  _Sweetheart,"_ Gale gritted out, walking until she was  _very_ close to Rue's face. "You're  _useless_ here; you've got zero experience. So, either you  _fucked_ your way here or you're gonna have to in order to keep your job. Get me?"

"Who'd  _you_ fuck?" Rue retorted, glaring up at her newfound enemy. Gale laughed in her face before turning on her heels and heading back to her post.

"No one. I didn't get on my knees 'n  _beg_ for this." Sneering, Gale cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms. "Seems like only one of us's got a backbone, Darlin'."

Rue rolled her eyes, turned back toward the road. Everything was  _tense,_ but she forced herself to calm down. There was no use in letting the old hag's words get to her. She needed this—it was only a stepping stone. A few months from now, Gale would be ancient history and she would be officially training under Rayne and Gladio.  _Yeah..._ She fought a bitter smile. There had to be a reason Gale was still on guard duty after all those years.  _She's not good for anything else, I bet._ That made her feel better. At least, as long as she ignored that possibility that guard duty was a sand trap for those who aspired to be far more. That couldn't be it. Rue's heart sank.

Could it?


	5. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strange suggestion, but I make a playlist of songs that reminds me of the characters from each story I write, and when I upload on other sites, I usually attach a song that reminds me of that specific chapter. I was wondering if you guys would be interested in seeing those songs suggested before each chapter? I'm sure 99% of people don't care, but I'm addicted to music so I thought I might share for the curious folk. 
> 
> "Family" by Mother Mother

"Waiter! Hey, can I get another water?"

"Dex, that's the third water you've ordered in the past twenty minutes," Relir hissed, kicking at his long legs under the table. The mousey waitress at their tableside forced a small smile.

"It's fine, Miss. He can have as many as he wants." With that, she bustled away. Relir snorted, rolling her eyes and sinking back in her seat.

"Not for you to decide," she muttered. Dex kicked her back.

"Not for you to decide, either."

"Guys," Eren huffed, picking at the pile of roasted vegetables that rested in the middle of the table. "Try  _not_ to fight tonight?"

"That's  _literally_ impossible," Rue scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Have you met those two? The bickering never stops."

"It does when we're in bed," Dex mumbled around a mouthful of bread. Relir kicked him again. Sighing, Eren looked across the small table to Rue, shaking his head. She smiled back, leaning forward and pressing her elbows against the rough wood. Whatever it was she was going to say was cut off by Dex's lazy drawl.

"So, how's guard duty treating you?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. His shaggy blonde hair, which was currently tied up in a short ponytail, flopped toward his shoulder.

"Fine," Rue shrugged. "It was  _awful_ the first week because I got stuck with some cranky old hag, but the Captain moved me to another location and everything's dandy again."

"Any cute guys?" Relir teased, flashing a smug smile. Rue shrugged, trying her hardest not to acknowledge Cam's face as it appeared in her mind's eye. The guy was  _weird,_  but she couldn't deny he had some good qualities. She shook her head; he was her  _boss._ She shouldn't think like that.

"No... Not that I'm really looking."

"Why not?" Her friend nudged her with her shoulder. "Come on, Rue. You're pretty; you can pick out any guy you  _want_ from that place."

"I dunno," Rue sighed, playing with her glass of ice water. "I just can't bring myself to care, I guess. Guys are a waste of time."

"Yeah, until you find the right one."

Eren rolled his eyes, nodding toward the glimmering ring on Relir's finger.

"Yeah, Rue, just find yourself a cocky douche bag and get hitched."

"Hey!" Dex shoved Eren's shoulder. "I'm not a  _douche_! I treat 'er right, don't I, Relir?"

"Unfortunately," Relir muttered, playfully scowling at him. Rue crinkled her nose. "Anyway, I'm right. She's pretty, isn't she, guys?"

"Not my type," Dex grumbled, shrugging and dumping a mound of ice into his mouth. Relir reached across the table and swatted the side of his head.

"Not helpful," she snapped. Eren sighed, shaking his head.

"I mean, yeah, but that's not everything."

"Exactly," Rue agreed sarcastically. "I have a distinct lack of  _personality."_

"Oh, what _ever_ ," Relir scoffed, looking up as the waitress returned. "You just gotta put yourself out there and quit hiding in your apartment every time you have a day off."

"I need my alone time," Rue frowned, watching Dex accept his drink with a dimpled smile. "I'm just not ready for a relationship."

"Then don't have one," Relir shrugged as though the answer was obvious. "Have a couple of flings. Try new things. Figure out what it is you want in a man and then hunt him down."

"Okay," Rue muttered. Eren offered her a sympathetic smile.

"Don't push yourself."

"Do you know me?" Rue retorted, but his words put her at ease. All those damn extroverts—they wouldn't ever why she couldn't just march up to the nearest hot guy and demand that they spend some time together. It was a miracle that she even had these friends; she wasn't about to push her luck anytime soon. "Hey, that's us."

The waitress returned with a large tray of dishes, setting each person's plate in front of them. Dex eyed his steak before glancing over at Rue's salad. His gray eyes met Relir's and she sighed, nudging Rue.

"Hey, is that all you got?"

"Yeah?" Rue raised an eyebrow, stabbing her fork through a piece of lettuce and nudging a cherry tomato aside. "I'm not that hungry."

"You look  _starved,_ " Dex pushed, digging into his dinner.

"Guys," Eren interrupted gently. He leaned closer to Dex, keeping his voice low enough that Rue couldn't hear what he was whispering.

They shrugged at each other and said nothing more. Rue sent him a grateful look, picking at a splinter in the table. The group ate in silence for quite a long time, at least until their stomachs stopped grumbling and they began to slow down. Relir was the first to give up, stretching her arms over her head.

"I'm  _stuffed._ "

"Me too," Eren sighed, pushing his glasses up and running a hand through his hair. Rue's bowl was polished clean. Dex eyed his fiancé's plate.

"I'll finish that for you," he offered. Relir raised an eyebrow.

"No, thanks."

"Why?"

"It's mine."

"But you're done."

"Did I say that?"

"Kind of."

"Listen." Relir leaned across the table, standing to get in his face with an exaggerated sneer. "I'm not done until I say I'm done. Got it?"

"Hm. Maybe." Dex grinned, pulling her closer until their lips met. Rue cringed, looking over at Eren. He grimaced back, flinching away when Relir's hand hit the table to steady herself.

"Gross," Rue huffed. Eren nodded in wholehearted agreement. Grinning, she stuck her tongue out, wiggling her eyebrows. "Oh, come here, baby. Let's make out in front of the whole restaurant. That's  _hot,_ right?" Eren chuckled and Relir fell back in her seat, crossing her arms.

"By the way," she practically crooned. "I  _hate_ garlic breath."

"Your loss," Dex shrugged, reaching over and taking her plate. "And I  _am_ eating this for you."

"By the way," Rue mocked. "I  _hate_ PDA."

"Amen," Eren snorted.

"I'm telling you," Relir sighed, turning to face her friend. "Just you wait. Someday you'll find the douche of your dreams and you won't give a shit who sees what." She leaned back in her seat, taking a drink of her wine. She tipped the glass toward Rue and Eren. "Both of you. I swear it on my life." The two exchanged another uneasy glance as Dex slammed his palm on the table.

"I'm not a  _douche!"_

~|~|~|~|~

"Thanks for the ride, Eren," Rue said as she stepped out of her friend's sleek silver car. She closed the door and leaned forward against the open driver's side window. "I could've walked. It was one block."

"And it's dark out."

"You think I can't fend for myself?"

"No, it's not that," Eren shook his head. "I just figured I'd offer since this is on my way home." He shrugged, giving her a pointed look. "And that I should help a friend out."

"Right." Rue sighed, looking up toward the beaming bright lights of the apartment complex before her. "You wanna come up for a bit?"

"... Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no, I'm alright," she rushed, shaking her head. "I dunno. Relir said I should stop being antisocial, so I figured I'd at least ask."

"I really would, but I've got an early start tomorrow and it's already pretty late."

"Yeah, I guess I do, too." Rue tore her eyes away from the building and offered Eren a smile. "I'll leave you to it, then. Goodnight."

"Night."

She headed directly inside, ignoring the pointed glare of the nosey receptionist and heading for the elevator. She rode up to the second floor and unlocked her apartment, kicking her shoes off by the door and flicking the lights on. Honey's belled collar jingled from the kitchen as she leaped onto a counter and peered at her owner from around the corner. With a heavy sigh, she headed toward her bedroom and pulled her sweater off, throwing it into the growing laundry pile on the floor.

"Hungry?" Rue asked her cat, pulling on a baggy shirt and heading to the kitchen to fill Honey's food bowl.

The feline mewed and chowed down. Smiling faintly, Rue headed to the bathroom, carefully taking out her contacts (an activity she hated with a burning passion). She pushed her glasses on only so that she could find her way to her room, turn the lights off, and dive into bed before taking them back off and curling up on her side with her eyes screwed shut.

Several minutes later, her eyes fluttered back open, and in the dim light filtering from the busy night streets, they were drawn to the framed photo on her bedside table. She put her glasses back on, narrowing her eyes as they adjusted. Slowly, she sat up and picked up the photograph, staring at the beaming little girl. This... This is why she was where she was. It wasn't men or finding a new life. It was  _this._  She pressed the cool glass to her chest and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm herself.  _Someday... I'll make it right._


	6. Forcing the Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "idontwannabeyouanymore" by Billie Eilish

Rue groaned, throwing her head back and slouching against the wall. It had been just over a month since she got this guard duty job and she hadn’t seen more action than Rayne and Prompto Argentum chasing a fly around the Citadel. Even then, there was nothing she could do but watch the two blondes race around and shove at each other until Rayne killed the poor insect and back to work they went. Cam did the favor of relocating her station after she complained about Gale’s prodding, but now she was trapped inside without a breath of fresh air to greet her lungs unless it was early in the morning or late at night.

Rue pulled her sleeve back and checked her watch. Her shift wasn’t over for another hour. Sighing, she fell back against the wall and stared at the glossy floor. When was Cam going to send her anywhere at least remotely interesting? When would Rayne remember not to leave her in the dust of her newest recruits? Just as she started to slip back into the recesses of her mind, she heard hurried footsteps. She nearly jumped out of her skin as Gale, Cam, and two more guards sped past. Catching her eye, the Captain skidded to a stop and gripped her arm.

“Come on. We need you.”

“What’s wrong?” Rue demanded, hurrying after him as he took off again.

“There’s been an incident out front.”

“An incident?”

Cam said nothing more, rushing through the front doors of the Citadel as Gale held them open, her sharp eyes directed toward the center of a broad, circular driveway. Rue’s breath caught in her throat. A line of glaives circled a pool of blood; amongst them were Rayne and Eren. Following Cam without hesitation, Rue ran toward the group, trying to peer around the glaives that stood facing away from her.

“We’re here,” Cam stated, staring hard at Rayne. “What happened?”

“Some sort of shootout,” Rayne huffed, backing up so that the two could see.

Eren shuffled closer to Rue, resting a hand on her shoulder. On the ground laid two teenage boys dressed head to toe in black, baggy clothes. A little farther away, Dex laid in a pool of his own pool, surrounded by a swarm of healers. Relir stood over them, watching them work with their potions and mystery concoctions.  _Shit_ _._  Rue took a deep breath, trying to steady her heart. She turned to Rayne.

“Those two took  _him_ out _?_ ”

“He wasn’t expecting anyone to attack,” Eren answered quietly. “He was just heading home.”

“Why would they do this?” she demanded, her stomach churning as the scent of blood reached her nostrils.

“Disagreements over the treaties,” Rayne muttered absently, crossing her arms. “This had to be some sort of act of rebellion—but why are they so young?”

“They’re easy to fire up,” Rue replied under her breath, earning several stares. “Think about it. When you were a kid, it was easy to rile you up about this sort of stuff, especially if someone made you think there was some higher power stealing away your rights.”

“Speaking from experience?” Gale snapped.

Rue rolled her eyes, turning to speak to Eren. Suddenly, the Citadel doors cracked open once more and out stepped Prompto and Gladiolus. A sharp movement caught the corner of Rue’s eye and her hand shot to her hip. Before she knew what she was doing, her gun was aimed steadily at the two men. Rayne shouted a protest before Cam rushed toward her, reaching for the weapon. She hardly noticed, stepping away and keeping her eyes trained on the spot where she swore she saw  _something_.

“Rue, drop the gun.”

Prompto uncomfortably raised his hands and Gladio frowned, glancing over at Rayne. Rue’s eyes narrowed.  _There you are…_ A patch of black stood out starkly against the white marble pillar it attempted to hide behind.

“Hand it over,” Rayne demanded, glowering at the guard. Rue ignored her. Her heart rate spiked as the figure moved quickly. It was all she could to shout a warning.

“ _Get down!”_

Gladio practically threw Prompto to the ground as she squeezed off three shots. Rue's hands trembled, her arms frozen in place. She couldn’t move. At least, not until Cam reached out and pushed the handgun down, staring at the only person on the stairs who wasn’t moving. Gladio and Prompto slowly got to their feet, gawking at the body on the ground. Blood dribbled down the stairs, running over the curved dagger that clattered to the ground, freed from the lifeless hand that once gripped it. Rayne took off, looking the two men over to make sure they were unscathed. Cam took hold of Rue’s elbow and pulled her to the stairs.

“Another one?” Eren breathed, staring down at the girl that bled from her chest, neck, and head. With each shot, Rue had unintentionally aimed higher, finally killing her victim off with the third bullet. Still in shock that she’d even been able to pull the feat off, Rue stared hard at the body.

“There could still be others,” Cam muttered. Rayne nodded, turning to the Glaive.

“All of you, watch the perimeter. There’s no way they could have gotten inside unnoticed.”

“You alright?” Eren asked, cocking his head to the side. Rue, finding herself unable to speak, simply nodded. “Okay.”

“I have to admit, you blew my mind,” Cam laughed breathlessly, turning to Rue. “That was some quick thinking. If you hadn’t seen her… Well, I’m sure they could have taken the hit, but you never know.”

“Yeah,” Gladio replied, eyeing Rue. It was hard to tell if he was being genuine. “Thanks for that.”

“No, uh, no problem.” Rue glanced back down at the girl. Rayne frowned, tugging on Gladio’s arm.

“We should go see if Noct’s alright. You never know what holes these rats could crawl in through.”

“Yeah.”

The captain, the guard, and the glaive watched them go. Prompto turned to face the three sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck and offering a bright smile.

“Yeah, uh, thanks for that.” The blonde laughed nervously. “Rue, was it? Nice aim.”

“Thanks,” Rue replied uncertainly, glancing up at Cam. His face broke into a crooked smile. She didn’t understand.

One moment, she was standing alone in the hallway, bored out of her mind as a complete nobody, and now she’d killed some sort of rebel, possibly saved two members of the Crownsguard, and they _knew her name._ All because she obeyed an instinct that took over her very being. Because she followed an impulse that led her to so much grief in times past. Life truly was a dangerous game.

“I guess I should go check on the King,” Prompto huffed, hurrying back inside. Eren shook his head and turned to join the rest of the Kingsglaive. Cam rested a hand on Rue’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze to get her attention.

“Nice job,” he nodded, catching her eye. She nodded back, looking over at Dex’s unconscious body.

“Is he…?”

“He’ll be alright,” he reassured her. The captain cocked his head to the side. “You know, before all this happened, I was actually going to hunt you down. Care you join me for a little stroll to my office?”

“Uh, sure,” she replied, swallowing hard and stepping over the body as she followed him inside. It appeared that Rayne and the others hadn’t made it far. Rue was unsure if she should bow if she wasn’t planning to address the king as he stood there, scowling at his friends.

“What happened?” King Noctis demanded, trying to look around Gladio’s massive frame.

“A group of kids came and tried to shoot up the place,” Rayne sighed. “They got one of my men pretty good, but they’re all dead as far as we know.”

“Some sort of rebellion?” Ignis suggested from the king’s side, brow creased as he thought.

“That’s what we thought,” Rayne nodded, glancing back at Rue and Cam as they strode past. Thankfully, no one acknowledged them.

“I hope there aren’t any more,” Prompto huffed, crossing his arms.

“Me too,” Rue muttered under her breath.

The two hurried up the stairs two the second floor and Cam ushered her into his office with a smile. His plaque read, “Cameron Schrader: Captain of the Guard”. His desk was the same as Rayne’s and Ignis’s, but his décor was limited to a few cushioned leather chairs, a gray rug, and an expansive map of the Citadel that hung on the back wall. A steel filing cabinet stood against the right side and on top rested a dusty, yellowed globe. Cam shut the door firmly and walked toward his desk with his arms crossed. He laughed to himself, heading to the square window that was cracked open, allowing a gentle, cool breeze into the small space.

“What did you need me for?” Rue asked, deciding to stand at the entrance instead of taking a seat. Cam didn’t answer for a moment, his eyes narrowed on the ground below. She assumed he was watching the front of the Citadel.

“That was a  _very_ rash decision.”

“Excuse me?”

“To shoot the girl. It was stupid… But it worked. And for that, I’m both proud and relieved.” Cam turned around to face her, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I called you up because I think you need a better placement.”

“I can’t say I disagree,” Rue admitted sheepishly.

“Good,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair as he wandered closer. “I was thinking closer to the throne room. That way you’d be able to see how serious this track really gets. You’ve obviously got a good eye if you stay calm; you’ll be there to see and take note of whoever comes in and out.  _And_ the Crownsguard will see your face nearly every day. That’s a sure way to be recognized.”

“That sounds perfect,” Rue breathed, stunned by this man’s eager-to-please relocation.

“ _But_ ,” he started, raising his eyebrows. He was drawing uncomfortably close; Rue took a slow step back, watching him carefully. Her heart sank and she suddenly felt incredibly uneasy. “It takes a lot to make it to that position. I’m sure you already knew that.”

“How do you plan to get me there?” she asked softly. They were so close that there was no need for her to speak at full volume. She took another step back.

“Oh, I have a few ideas. Don’t worry about that.” Cam tilted his head. Rue jumped, startled as her back hit the wall before she expected it to. A slight smile tugged at the corners of Cam’s lips. “But I can’t say it won’t cost you. Everyone that stands there has paid one price or another to have the chance.”

“What do you mean?” Rue could hardly squeeze the words out. This didn’t feel right. She shuddered when Cam’s finger traced the edge of her jaw. “What price?”

“The cost depends on the merchant,” Cam murmured, pressing one hand to the wall beside her head and lifting her chin with the other. His eyes flitted over her face quickly. “One of ‘em paid millions of gil. Another performed a dozen or so trials. That one was placed by Cor—I’m sure you could tell.” Rue gritted her teeth. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage and her hands were balled into tight fists. She could hardly breathe.  _But I **need** this._

“What's your price?”

“Hm.” Cam’s smile grew. “Well, let me see. I think I have a few ideas.” He played with her hair absently as he spoke. “It would, of course, have to be split into  _several_  payments to make it worth my while. I’m sure you understand.” Rue didn’t reply, staring up at him sharply. Without another word, Cam ducked his head and pressed his lips to hers, his hands gripping her hips tighter than what was necessary. Her initial instinct was to pull away, and she did so abruptly, shoving at his chest with her palms.

“What the  _hell_ _?!”_

“Shh…” He replied calmly. “It’s all or nothing now, Sweetheart.” She froze, stunned as he kissed her again.  _Was that a threat?_ She shuddered, forcing herself not to push him off her and run. She  _needed_ this job more than anything else in the world—the resources, the people, the equipment. She could handle a bit of blackmail… maybe. Cam pulled away, his blue eyes dark in the shadow he was casting on the wall behind her. “On your knees.” 

“What—”

“Now,” he snapped, gripping her shoulders and forcing her down to the floor. Trembling, she stared long and hard at the floor as she heard his belt jingling loose.  _I have to… for her._ With that, she took a deep breath, sat up, and got to work.

 


	7. Problematic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother

“Do they ever give you a break?” Prompto asked, cocking his head to the side and grinning. Rue shrugged, glancing at the throne room doors.

“Not really, but I can’t say there’s much work to be done anyway,” she admitted.

“I guess not,” he laughed softly. “I see you standin’ out here all the time. You here permanently?”

“I, uh, think so.” Rue’s heart skipped a beat and she took a deep breath with her hands anxiously twisted together behind her back. “What’re you doing down here, anyway?”

“Harsh,” he hissed playfully, earning a slight smile from the guard. “I was just gonna check in on Noct. Y’know, see how’s he’s holding up.” He rubbed that back of his neck uneasily, resting a hand on his hip. “I just never get to see him anymore.”

“Becoming king’ll suck up all your time,” Rue nodded, jerking her head toward the door. “Go on ahead; he shouldn’t be busy.”

“Actually, he is.”

The two jumped as a deep voice broke their conversation. Cor stood a short distance away with his arms crossed, his sharp eyes staring hard into Rue’s. She shifted uncomfortably.

“Oh, is he?” Prompto asked, mostly unfazed. Cor glanced at him before coming closer, staring down at Rue. Forcing her fear away as a distant enemy, she straightened, squaring her shoulders and meeting his gaze head-on.

“He’s scheduled to be in another set of negotiations until late tonight,” he replied steadily. “What’s your name?”

“Corden, sir.”

“Corden, you have no authority to allow His Majesty casual visitors, and if for some reason Schrader gave it to you, you’ll have to retrieve a copy of his schedule from his advisor every morning and prepare for the changes that occur throughout the day.” His eyes narrowed just the slightest bit; he seemed irritated by Rue’s lack of response. “Who is allowed to enter this room without previous notice  _if_ Noctis has time to spare?”

“Rayne, Gladio, Ignis, yourself, and Prompto,” she answered, unconsciously chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I’m assuming, at least.”

“Schrader never informed you?”

“No, sir.”

“Well, it’s not her fault, then,” Prompto stepped in hopefully. Cor ignored him.

“The only people allowed in here unannounced are Rayne, Gladio, and Ignis. Do you understand me?”  _Of course… The advisor and the end-all, be-all sacrifices for the king's life._ How could she have  _possibly_ thought otherwise? 

“What?!” Prompto blurted, earning a scowl. “S-sorry. It’s just—”

“There’s no time for friendly visits in these times,” Cor interrupted. He even looked a tad sympathetic. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Prompto reassured him, lifting a hand to wave at Rue. “Uh, see ya, then. I guess.” Rue nodded back with her lips pursed, turning her attention back to Cor.

“I’m assuming I’ll have to trust that you’re here according to the schedule?” Unintentionally, the words sounded mocking. Cor took a deep breath.

“Yes. No more assumptions.” He pressed a hand to the door, hesitating. “If you have any contacts in the guard, it would be wise to have them take your place while you search out Ignis.”

“Now? He won’t be a part of this negotiation?”

“No. He’s…” Cor closed his eyes, sighing. Even the man of strict, perfect control slipped on his words sometimes, spilling things he never meant to say. “He’s a bit swamped with work today. He’ll either be in the kitchen or his office.”

“And he won’t care that I’m showing up unannounced?”

Cor turned to fully face her, now clearly irate from her prodding. To be fair, she  _was_  doing it to get on his nerves after he got on hers with his nitpicking. Luckily for her, because she tended to be so cautious and quiet, the soldier couldn’t decide if she was mocking or asking genuine questions. Stiffly, he replied before briskly entering the presence of the King.

“Prepare for a lecture.”

With a humored huff, Rue pulled out her cellphone and dialed up a number that it almost pained her to call.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, Cam?”

“What’s up?”

“I need you to take my place down here for just a sec,” she muttered, falling against the wall and hugging her free arm to her body. “Cor just gave me a lecture on following the King’s schedule, so now I need to pester Ignis about getting sent one every morning.”

“That’s a tough one,” Cam grumbled.

“Tell me about it. I got yelled at for letting Prompto in.”

“Seriously?” Cam scoffed. “Sure, whatever. I’ll be there in just a sec.”

Rue sighed, stuffing her phone into her pocket and crossing her arms impatiently.  _Week five._ It wasn’t the worst job she’d ever worked; it was mostly that the promises that Cam made had not been lived up to, for the most part. Rayne never so much as looked her way when she barged through the doors and the Glaive mocked her behind her back when she told them to pipe down, don’t run in the halls, take the fight somewhere else, please and thank you. It was a torture that never ended, and it was getting her nowhere. As long as the world kept taking its sweet time getting back on its feet, she was fine taking it slow. But what was to happen when things sped back up again?

“Hey,” Cam greeted, slowing his jog to a brisk walk as he rounded the corner. Rue tried to squeeze past him, but it was no use. Her boss was insatiable. He caught her by the waist, pulling her back and pressing a kiss to her lips. She almost threw up in her mouth, staring at the end of the hallway as he looked over her face with a sickeningly endeared expression. “Have fun with the neat freak.”

“Yeah,” she breathed, pulling out of his grip and hurrying up the stairs. Her pale cheeks glowed a shade of bright red and she prayed that there were no cameras in that entrance. There was no way there weren’t. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she stopped just before Ignis’s door, mentally counting down. To her right, Rayne stepped out of her office, arching an eyebrow as she watched the guard staring at the advisor’s door in silence.

“What’re you doing?”

“Huh?” Rue looked over at her, feeling her blush grow stronger. “Oh, I’m supposed to be asking Ignis for a schedule.”

“And you’re standing outside instead?” Rayne frowned. “He doesn’t hear  _prayers,_ Rue. You have to open the door and speak.”

“I know,” Rue muttered. “Don’t you have negotiations to attend?”

Rolling her eyes, Rayne turned on her heels and walked toward the same broad staircase everyone took to get to and from this floor. Rue shook her head, reaching up to knock. She froze. He didn’t answer last time; would he really want to get up and open the door again? Swallowing hard, she gripped the doorknob and turned without allowing herself another thought. She peeked her face into the room. Ignis looked up from whatever he was staring at on his computer screen and raised an eyebrow.

“Knock, knock,” Rue said uncertainly, clearing her throat when he didn’t react. “Cor sent me.”

“Come in,” Ignis sighed, pushing his glasses up and turning his swiveling chair to face forward. “Rue, was it?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” she nodded, closing the door and walking toward the desk. He looked up at her, waiting expectantly.

“What does the marshal need?”

“He needs something for  _me_ , actually,” Rue shrugged, awkwardly sinking into the same chair she used when they filled out her forms for who knows what reason. “A schedule of the King’s day, preferably every morning.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and crossed her legs, looking anywhere but Ignis. “I, uh, got in a bit of trouble for giving Prompto the go-ahead to enter the throne room during a meeting, not that His Majesty would be in there at that time anyway.”

“Yes, well,” Ignis’s head jerked to the side just the slightest bit. “I can understand the issue.” He sighed, habitually touching his glasses as he rifled through the top drawer of his desk. “You understand that plans change often, I’m assuming.”  _No more assuming._ Rue nodded.

“Yeah. Cor told me to check in with you regularly about that.”

“No need,” Ignis replied smoothly, closing his drawer and pulling his phone from his pocket. He eyed the guard before unlocking the device and handing it over. “Enter your contact information here. I will be sure to send you the expected events for the day and then proceed to update you from there.”

“Thanks,” Rue replied, offering a smile. Ignis made no effort to smile back.

“I’m not doing you a favor, Rue. This is solely because His Majesty’s safety depends on it. Letting unauthorized visitors into the throne room at random could very well put his life in grave danger.” Rue’s face fell and she went back to typing her number into his phone.

“It was just Prompto—”

“It doesn’t matter,” he interrupted strictly. “No one except for Rayne, the marshal, Gladio and myself is allowed in that room unless there is notice beforehand.” Rue paused, glancing up at the advisor.

“Cor told me it was only you, Gladio, and Rayne that I should let in.” Ignis frowned.

“Well, I suppose I could be incorrect but I’m certain we agreed on the three of us.”

“ _Okay,”_ Rue whispered, handing his phone back. “I have a question if you’re willing to answer me.” Ignis raised an eyebrow silently yet again. She took that as a go-ahead. “Why not include Cor and Prompto in that list?”

“The decisions we make to preserve the King’s safety are not the business of the guard,” he answered coldly, tucking his phone into his pocket. “Are we done here?”

“Well, I’ll leave it at the assumption of status,” Rue huffed, standing. “Any heads up on what’s going on for the rest of the day? I’m on duty until His Majesty is in his chamber for the night.”

“The last thing he has scheduled in the meeting he is currently attending,” Ignis replied dutifully, returning to his computer. “After that, it is not your business to stick around and keep an eye on him. Your shift will be over then.”

“I’m sorry,” Rue snapped, annoyed by his “high and mighty” attitude toward her. “But I take my orders from the Captain.” She headed toward the office door, pulling it open sharply. Guilt pinched her heart and she glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Have a good night.”

“How’d it go?” Cam asked upon seeing Rue coming back down the hallway. She shrugged.

“He’s still got a stick up his ass and I’m still tired. Nothing’s changed.” Cam chuckled, shaking his head.

“Well, listen.” Rue’s chest ached with dread.  _Here we go. “Meet me upstairs for ‘payment,’ Sweetheart.”_ “If you’re really that tired, you should go lay down in the room just down there.” He pointed down the hallway. “I’ll stand here for you.”

“No, it’s okay,” Rue insisted. “You go home; I can finish the shift just fine.”

“Rue,” he said sternly. “Captain’s orders. Go take a nap.”

“Captain’s orders,” she scoffed under her breath, turning around to head to the room as she was directed.

Slowly, she pushed to door open, greeted by dim lighting and about a dozen cots. She entered carefully; two people were fast asleep across the room from each other.  _What the hell is this place? Some sort of sick room?_ Shaking her head, she laid down in the cot closest to the door and forced herself to close her eyes and relax.

Sleep overtook her almost immediately, but it was the light, barely-breaking-the-surface type that left her tossing and turning on the squeaking metal frame of her “bed.” Familiar faces, voices, places haunted dreams that lasted hardly more than a minute before one faded away and another replaced it. She shot up abruptly in her bed as the crack of gunfire woke she and the other two people in the room. Acting on instinct, she leaped to her feet and raced into the hallway. Cam was gone.

Rue pulled her gun off her hip and rushed toward the throne room. The door was shut tight, but it most certainly wasn’t locked. If the King was in negotiations like everyone said he was, he’d be in a narrow room that branched off his court. She hesitated as she stretched out a hand to shove the door open.  _Shouldn’t the Kingsglaive be taking this?_ She gritted her teeth and pushed. To hell with the Glaive and Rayne and anyone else who should be there. She was on duty.

King Noctis stood guarded by Cor, Rayne, and Axel, the redheaded fool that was chosen over Rue. She nearly had to throw herself at the wall to avoid being shot by the trigger-happy idiot, scowling at him. At the other end of the broad room laid a boy who looked about seventeen, stretched out on his back and leaking a stream of blood from a shot through the heart. Rayne’s eyes locked onto Rue and she charged. Rue hardly had time to react before the warrior smacked the gun out of her hands and struck the side of her face. The taste of copper rushed across her tongue as her teeth clamped down on her lip.

“What the  _hell_ is wrong with you?!” Rayne practically screamed. “Where were you?!” Rue straightened slowly, her breathing quickening with the pounding of her heart. “Answer me, dammit!”

“Cam was supposed to be—”

“ _You_ were on duty, not  _Cam!”_  Rayne scoffed, throwing an arm out in the King’s direction. “He would have been  _killed_ if Axel hadn’t seen the kid come in here!”

Rue stood in shocked silence. No one spoke as the door opened again and Ignis strode in, looking around the scene with quick, sharp eyes.

“Is everyone alright?” he asked, making a beeline for Noctis.

“Should be,” Axel nodded, stepping away from the king. Rayne’s jaw was tight; she planted her hands on her hips and tapped the toe of her boot.

“I just…” She laughed darkly, shaking her head. “Where were you? Tell me,  _now.”_

“Cam wouldn’t let me guard any longer,” Rue stuttered, feeling absolutely foolish as the words came out. Of course, she shouldn’t have obeyed. She should have stood her ground instead of bending her will for that disgusting man. “H-he sent me away to rest.”

“To rest,” Rayne snorted. “So let me get this straight: you went upstairs to waste Ignis’s time, then you put your  _boss_ at your post so that you could  _take a nap?_ ” Her face fell back into her terrifying, rage-induced glare. “That sound about right?”

“I—” Rue stammered, feeling entirely overwhelmed. “I was really tired and it wouldn’t have done much good for me to—”

“ _Then go the fuck home,”_ Rayne snarled, stepping up to get into Rue’s face. “Don’t stay here and put  _everyone_ in danger.” The four men in the center of the room watched in silence as she tore the guard to pieces. “You think just because you ' _saved'_ Gladio and Prompto last week that you’re some sort of hero that can do whatever the #$%^ she wants? Huh? Let me tell you something,  _Sweetheart._ ” She shoved Rue back toward the wall, practically bursting with raw anger. “If you hadn’t shot that girl on the spot, we’d have a way to trace where these damn kids are coming from, not to mention that you almost shot Gladio through the  _head_ trying to play the hero!”

“But I didn’t, did I?” Rue snapped—a fatal mistake. Rayne’s face grew horrifyingly calm and she stepped back, crossing her arms tightly. Behind her, Cor and Noctis exchanged a look and Axel shifted uncomfortably. Ignis was unreadable.

“You don’t even have the courage to admit you were wrong,” Rayne stated coldly. “You make up excuse after excuse and then you act like you  _deserve_ the position you’re in.” She cocked her head to the side. “I knew you were desperate, but  _gods,_ fucking your boss? That’s a bit far, doncha think?” Rue’s chest almost exploded; she bit her tongue. It was so twisted, so wrong. She didn’t  _choose_ anything that Cam decided for her.  _How does she know?_  “And how could I forget the cherry on top of it all?!” Rayne cried, throwing her hands in the air. “You have the  _nerve_ to tell me you didn’t do anything out of line when your  _king_ was almost killed by a drug-addicted  _child_ because you couldn’t hold your eyes open for an  _hour_ longer.”

“Cam—!” Rue blurted. Rayne silenced her by raising her hand.

“I don’t give a shit about Cam—I get the final say when it comes to Noctis's defense.”

“… What are you saying?” she dared to ask, praying that something would go right just this once. Rayne reached toward her.

“I need your uniform.  _Now._ You’re fired. I don’t want to see your sorry ass around here ever again, do you understand?”

“You can’t—!" Rue protested, only to be cut off by Cor.

“She can. You’ve proven yourself incapable of handling a simple duty.”

“I’m telling you I was  _ordered_ to let him take my place!” Rue shouted, stomping her foot like an insolent child.

“And  _I’m_  telling you that I’m going to start sending bullets your way unless you give me the uniform and get the hell out,” Rayne snapped. “ _Now_ , Corden.”

“… I’m not wearing clothes underneath,” Rue muttered.

“Well you’re not buck naked under there, are you?” Rayne demanded, waving her outstretched hand. “Hand it over and get your things from the lockers.”

“I… didn’t bring anything to the lockers.”  _Everything was ** **dirty.****_

Rayne huffed, roughly ripping her baggy blue sweatshirt off and throwing it at the guard.

“Put that on, then,” she huffed, straightening the t-shirt she wore underneath. “I want it back.”

“… Is this your brothers?” Rue asked without thinking.  _What the fuck is wrong with me?!_

Rayne’s glare was enough to shut her mouth and get her to start unbuckling the belts that held her clothing on. The group of men uncomfortably averted their eyes as she tossed her shirt at the woman standing before her, pulling the padding off her pants and tugging the sweatshirt on over her head. The thing was even more massive on her, making her look like some sort of navy blue gourd with skinny limbs and angry eyes. Rayne dropped the uniform to the floor and pointed at the door.

“Get. Out.”

_Fuck. You._

Rue turned on her heels and stormed out the door, struggling to hold back tears. Her brisk walk turned into a run and she soon found herself sprinting through the dark, winding hallways, hiding her face from anyone she passed. Someone called her name; she pretended not to hear, rushing out the front doors and immediately calling Eren. Twenty minutes later, she left his car without a word and hurried to her apartment.

The second the door shut behind her, uncontrollable sobs overtook her entire body and sent her sinking to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest, gasping and choking and sniffling. Not only was she the Citadel's new shame, she was a complete and utter failure. She’d hardly survived a month and a half. She prioritized a nap over the Chosen King’s life. She lost her only way to redemption. How was she going to right the wrongs without the tools she required? Exhausted, she sank to the floor and curled up into a ball, roughly scrubbing the tears off of her cheeks with the sleeve of Arma Callen’s sweatshirt.

She couldn’t do anything right. No matter what, she was destined to fail again and again, to be beaten down to the ground by the rest of the world while people with just as much dedication and strength climbed the ranks to the top like it was a cakewalk. She would never be able to save herself from her impulses, her fears, her loneliness. She would never straighten out. She would never get her revenge.  _Ana…_

Rue shuddered, squeezing her burning eyes shut.  _I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…_


	8. Reaching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Get Up" by Mother Mother

_~2 years before~_

_The crumbled streets of Insomnia were wrecked, degraded into chunks of rubble and deconstructed to dust at its very core. And yet, the outskirts were still very much intact, touched only by the clouds of powered stone that once billowed from the Imperials’ destruction. The rain fell at a lazy pace, not quite hard enough to soak, but cool enough to chill. Citizens of the Crown City wandered the streets, staring at the black sky in wonder as if they were unsure if the sun would rise in the morning. Would daemons invade their city in the dead of night? Would their families be safe? It had already been several months since the Dawn, and yet, they could still hardly believe their eyes when the light of day inevitably returned._

_A lone woman hugged her arms to her body, sickly thin and pale as the light of the moon that hid behind the clouds, and wandered down the dimly lit street. She was dressed in a sheer black dress and heels that made her appear far taller than she really was. Her hair was long, curling in ebony waves down her back, shining in the flickering neon ‘Open’ sign she strode past. Her neck, ears, and wrists were adorned with all sorts of glistening pieces of jewelry that, if one looked close enough they would realize, were simply gold-painted plastic pieces. The young woman hurried down the sidewalk, across the lifeless street, and into an alleyway that was dimly lit with gas lamps where oil-stained men with thick skin and even thicker wallets bellowed laughter beneath a tarp, clearly drunk._

_“Hey, hey, what’s this, gentlemen?” One of the older men stood, appearing to be in his mid-forties. “A lady of the night! Didn’t think they made those anymore.” His entourage chortled. Uneasily, the woman took a few more steps into the alley. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”_

_“Rachel,” she replied cautiously, her pale eyes glinting in the light of the lanterns. “What are you doing back here?”_

_“Surviving!” The men cheered, raising their drinks. The man, who appeared to be the leader of the group, laughed, crossing his arms. “How ‘bout you? Lookin’ for patrons?”_

_“I…” Her voice cut out and she looked down to the puddle she’d stepped in. She was no good at this way of life, but what else could she do? ** **It pays the bills.****_

_“Course you are! Even when the world’s tryin’ to get back up, the Crown’s drinkin’ up all our money.” He cocked his head to the side, grinning. “What’s your fee, Hon?”_

_“Fee…?” She swallowed hard, forcing herself to straighten. “I, um, could we speak about this somewhere a little more… private?”_

_“Oh? What makes you think these guys won’t want a turn?”_

_“I…” Her heart sank as he sauntered closer, pinching her chin and forcing her head back until she was staring up into his bright eyes._

_“You’re a pretty one—all our women are dead ‘n gone, if they ever existed.” He raised a dark eyebrow. “Tell you what; I’ll give ya double what you tell me you were gonna say. How’s that?”_

_“Me too!” another voice cried. She cringed, swallowing her pride and the lump in her throat, and nodded. ** **For Ana.****_

_“Good. What’ll it be? Be as pricey as you want.”_

_“Twenty-five—”_

_“Nah, c’mon. Bump it up. Forty, times two… That’ll getcha eighty gil just from me. Deal?”_

_“Um… S-sure.”_

_“Good.” His dirt-smudged fingers gripped her shoulders and pushed so hard that her legs gave way and she landed in the puddle on the ground. “Quit lookin’, perverts!” he called over his shoulder, quickly undoing his belt. His coworkers laughed again, long and loud, clinking their bottles together cheerfully. The man reached down and gripped her hair, jerking her up onto her knees, and snarled something she couldn’t understand against her ear before straightening with a smug smile. “Let’s get this over with, huh?”_

It was another week before Rue left the dark silence of her apartment. Not a window was cracked, not a light was on, and the only thing that ran was the cold water in the sink as she forced herself to fill a chipped mug and take a drink. Her only company was her mind and Honey; the latter kept her distance as though she could sense the tension that clouded each and every room Rue entered and curled up in.

Then, as if by some miracle, seven days after her humiliating removal from the Citadel, she unraveled herself from the threadbare blanket she’d enveloped herself in and left the bathroom floor to walk to her bedroom, where she changed out of the baggy, sweat-dampened pajamas she’d been wearing for three days. Ruffling her hair, she headed to the living room in complete silence and pulled open the blackout curtains. The sun hit her pale cheeks and warmed her bare arms; the light glared off the large frames of her glasses. Honey rushed from her cat tower in the other room to the couch, having somehow sensed the change in atmosphere.

The smell of dry shampoo flooded the cramped bathroom as she sprayed and scrubbed at her scalp, trying to hide the powdery white streaks in her greasy black hair. Music played from her phone quietly as she loaded her mobile games to collect her daily rewards. Picking up the device and carrying it with her, Rue headed to the kitchen and switched out the filter in her coffee pot, reaching toward her bag of grounds. It was so light that it practically stunned her into freezing. She huffed a sigh and tossed it in the trash.

Filling Honey’s bowl, she ignored the rumbling of her stomach and pulled on her boots and her bulky jacket, grabbing her house key off the hook by the door and heading out into the world for the first time in ages. The air was remarkably colder outside than she remembered; perhaps the world really did keep moving when she turned off. With bone-chilled fingers, she ducked her chin behind her collar to shield her face from the wind and hurried to the nearest coffee shop. It was a short walk, maybe four minutes, but it felt like a century with the wintry air blasting her cheeks and pushing her to and fro.

Finally, her hands met the metal door handle and she pulled, smiling with relief when the bell over her head jingled and the assortment of people inside lifted their eyes to see who’d entered. Seeing it was no one particularly remarkable, the strangers continued with their conversations and reading and whatnot as Rue headed for the line. A younger woman stood before her, likely a student at the nearby university that was just starting up again now that the professors had either returned or been replaced. The schools themselves were out of the path of destruction, for the most part.  _How fortunate._

The man working the counter looked all too excited to be there, flashing Rue a grin when she stepped up to order. She couldn’t help but shudder at the bun on his head; it reminded her of a past she’d rather leave behind her. Clearing her throat, she pressed her chapped lips together and offered a thin smile back.

“I’ll have an iced mocha.”

“You sure? It’s pretty cold out,” he teased, punching in her order. She shrugged, her smile widening.

“I’m drinking it here, aren’t I?”

“Alright,” he chuckled playfully, nudging a device toward her. “Insert your chip. It’ll prompt you to sign and leave a tip.” With that, he turned to make her drink.

Chewing her lip, she did as instructed, freezing up when her total came up.  _So expensive…_ Could she even  _afford_ to tip? She glanced behind her quickly. No one would see…  _No._ She shook her head, quickly hitting the fifteen percent option and scribbling a rough signature onto the screen.  _The guy didn’t do anything wrong._ In fact, he probably came across broke students all the time who didn’t tip simply because they absolutely could not afford to even be there in the first place. She was old enough to have her life together. She huffed, stuffing her card back into her pocket.  _I wish._

Turning around, she found an empty tall table by a broad window by the back wall. She slid into the rickety, spinning seat and leaned forward on her elbows, pulling out her phone to scroll through the local news. Nothing but security additions that pissed off the public and the reopening of the largest shopping center in Insomnia.  _Riveting._ Huffing, she turned the screen off and looked up at her surroundings. Her heart leaped into her throat.  _Why the hell is ** **he**** here?_

It was hard for the guy  _not_ to stand out. A proud six and a half feet tall, built purely of enormous muscles, and not to mention very clearly aware he was important just in the way carried himself. Rue hid her face behind her collar, staring hard at the glossy wooden table as hard as she could, wishing him away.  _Maybe he’ll just pick up his coffee and leave._ Yeah, that was a good plan… Hide her face and pray that he didn’t see her, or better yet, that he saw her and didn’t know who she was.

“Mocha for Rue!” the barista called.

Her heart stopped and she looked up sharply. He was staring directly at her. Swallowing to wet her dry throat, Rue slid out of her seat and headed to the opposite end of the counter, picking up her drink and hurrying back.  _Should I leave?_ To her dismay, the line was blocking the door by now. Was it worth it to fight her way through? She sighed, climbing back up into her seat and slouching low, scrolling through month old texts to look busy. The idiot still bumbled over to her table, his stature lifting him enough to stand taller than her even with the stupid wobbly chair than hoisted her high up 

“Rue?”

“Hm?” Rue looked up, pretending to be surprised to see Gladiolus standing there. “Oh! Hey. What’re you, uh, doing here?” She nodded toward the counter. “This doesn’t seem like your scene, no offense.” Her nerves were going haywire. Was he going to chew her out, too? Had his girlfriend sent him to kill her off? Did she know too much? Loose ends and all that? _Shit_ _, who’s gonna feed my cat?_

“You think?” Gladio chuckled, looking around at the minimalistic décor and college students. “Rayne and Prompto wanted something to wake ‘em up and they sent me here.” He sighed, lifting up a tall black can labeled with a bold, scarlet coffee bean. “That and I thought I’d get Iggy a treat.”

“A treat?” Rue couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow as she pushed her sliding glasses up. The nickname was already ridiculous enough for someone of Ignis Scientia’s type, but his best friend referring to him like a  _pet_ was something else entirely.

“Yeah, I’d say he’s earned it,” Gladio shrugged, setting it down on the table and continuing to look around aimlessly. Finally, he sighed, directing his sharp eyes to her. “Listen: Rayne would probably wring my neck for this, but she ain’t here so she can’t stop me.” He slid into the seat to his left, sitting across from Rue and folding his burly arms on the table. “Wanted to apologize for how shit went down last week. That’s not usually how we handle stuff around there.”

“I understand why she did it though,” Rue shrugged, chewing on the inside of her cheek before taking a sip and crinkling her nose.  _Too sweet._ “It’s not like I didn’t deserve it.”

“Cam told you he was taking your place,” Gladio replied sternly, heavy brow furrowed. “That’s on him. He doesn’t get to throw you under the bus.” Rue shuddered at the sound of the disgusting officer’s name, blocking memories of countless “payments.” She wondered if she’d ever report him. Rayne would probably throw the report out and spit in her face before pounding her into a bloody pulp.

“Is anything being done, then?”

“I’m working on it,” Gladio grumbled, scratching at his dark hair.

“Rayne?”

“She holds grudges,” he admitted with a shrug. “Sometimes it gets in the way, but I think I can get Iggy and Cor on my side, so we’re all set.”

“Is there… anything else you could hold over him?” Rue suggested carefully, maintaining eye contact uneasily.

“Tardiness?” Gladio crossed his arms, leaning back. “Maybe a bit more slacking off. The guy’s just  _lazy._ ”

“Yeah, well, it cost me,” Rue muttered, stunned that she let the words out just before dumping more coffee into her mouth to shut herself up. Gladio grunted, unfazed, and looked toward the counter impatiently. In the moment of silence, Rue’s conniving mind sparked with an idea.  _This could be the only way…_ Rue leaned forward, taking a deep breath and folding her hands together. “So, Ignis…”

“What about him?” Gladio asked, redirecting his attention to her.

“He’s a busy guy,” Rue stated, tilting her head to the side and frowning. “It’s just weird to me that… You guys have the advisor running HR and secretary work on top of all his work with the King. Isn’t that a bit much?”

“He likes the pressure,” Gladio shrugged, nodding when he added, “but I do think he’s got too much on his plate.”

“I just thought it was weird,” Rue sighed, leaning back in her seat, though her face easily feigned thoughtful concern. She’d played this game a thousand times before. This was a cakewalk. “I sure he’s able to get it done and all, but he looks like a  _zombie_ behind that desk. However,” she held up her hands, “it’s only conjecture. I don’t doubt that he’s happy where he is; I just can’t imagine being under all that stress all the time.”

“He overcommits himself,” Gladio agreed, checking his phone briefly. “I think he can handle it, but eventually he’s gonna boil over. He’s good at hiding the build-up.” He chuckled to himself. “Trust me—you’re lucky that you’ll probably never see one of his meltdowns. It gets dark.”  _Or will I?_

“Has he, I don’t know, ever even considered a personal assistant or something?” Rue pressed. Gladio raised an eyebrow. She fought a smile; his mind was so easily read. He thought he was catching on to the BS, and that’s exactly where she wanted him. He liked her too much to get aggressive and pitied her too much to turn her down. 

“I dunno. I think it would hurt his pride to admit he needs help,” Gladio replied. His guard was up; it was the optimal time to strike at the emotional bond—disguised as logic, of course.

“Why’s that? He’s not admitting to needing help; he’s admitting that he’s too important for all that nonsense. He should be spending time advising the King and devising plans for defense and retaliation in case shit hits the fan in these negotiations,” Rue countered. “And if he’ll never dare to think about it himself, you as a friend should plant it in his brain. He’s working himself half to death.”

“Yeah,” Gladio huffed, glowering at the barista. “This place always so slow?” Rue shrugged. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Rue.” He leaned forward. “I know what you’re getting at. Why should I give a shit?”

“I know how it comes across,” Rue admitted. “But here’s the thing: I honestly do care about his state of mind. He reminds me of some people I used to know, and I watched those people unravel. It was…  _unpleasant,_ to say the least.

I also know what I’m pitching and that I’m ultimately pitching it for myself because, frankly, I’m flat out broke with no way to pay for a place to live or for food.  _But,_ even if you decide you want nothing to do with me, I wanted you to have the concern at the forefront of your mind. The guy needs a break.” Rue shrugged. “You said he likes to be busy? He’ll be plenty busy with the work he’s  _paid_ to do,  _and_ he’ll be able to go to bed before four in the morning.”

"Gladio?"

Gladio stood and walked to the counter to take the two steaming cups from the barista, giving the young man an irritated glower as he did so. To Rue’s surprise, he returned to the table, but he did so on his way out, pausing to finish their conversation. She leaned away from him, uncomfortably close. It wasn’t like he gave her “Cam vibes,” but she was cautious all the same.

“I’ll talk to Prompto and His Majesty and we’ll work on him. I can’t promise anything, but maybe we’ll get some results.” The reassuring look in the gentle giant’s eyes was all she needed for relief to overcome her. It would be okay after all. “And I won’t say anything to Rayne either, you hear me? I’m putting my ass on the line for you, Corden.”

“I won’t let you down,” Rue replied with a small smile, tucking her hair behind her ear and pressing the center of her glasses. He smiled back, nodding and heading toward the door, a piping hot cup of coffee gripped in each large hand. She immediately relaxed, sinking back in her seat and taking another sip of her coffee.  _If there’s no job opening, make one yourself, I guess._

Feeling triumphant, she picked up her cup and left with a bit of bounce in her step, returning to her apartment with a smile on her face. She spent the rest of the day scrubbing down her living space, washing the dishes and the floors and the laundry until the sun sank beneath the horizon and she threw herself into bed. Shortly past midnight, her phone switched from a video of two middle-aged men taste-testing animal testicles to an unknown number’s call.

Rue nearly had a heart attack when her thumb hit the button to hang up. Quickly, she swiped the green circle to accept the call and sit straight up in bed, the gray covers pooling around her waist.

“Hello?”

“Rue?”

“Gladio?” Rue’s heart hammered in her chest and she reached to her right, scooping up Honey and clutching the cat to her chest. “Is that you?”

“Yeah. Got your number from Rayne’s phone.”

“… So?”

“It took a couple bottles of wine and the whole work day, but he’s in.”

“Yes!” Rue shrieked in a whisper so he couldn’t hear, shimming excitedly.  _Holy shit, a ** **couple**** of bottles?_ “Really?! That’s great!”

“Yeah, well, no one knows it’s you except for Cor and Prompto, so be prepared for that.”

“I will,” Rue nodded, setting her disgruntled cat free. “What’s, uh, the expected attire, if you don’t mind?”

“It’s—” Gladio’s voice cut out, and when he spoke again, it was much quieter. “Just look nice. Come in at eight tomorrow and meet Prompto at the entrance.”

“Thanks again,” Rue breathed, honestly grateful.

“Yeah.” A woman’s voice echoed in the background; Gladio hung up immediately.

Rue cringed, prayed for his victory against the she-devil, and slid down underneath her covers. She reached up to switch her lamp off and set an alarm on her phone before rolling over and closing her eyes peacefully.  _Ana… We’re back in the game._


	9. Returning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dying in LA" by Panic! at the Disco

The blaring alarm bursting from her vibrating phone was the first thing that brought Rue to her senses in the morning. The second was the instant panic that stuffed her chest and frazzled her heart. She threw back her covers and practically ran to the bathroom to wash her disgusting hair. She almost slipped to her death when she quickly hurried out of the shower and the sound of hairs snapping left and right hit her ears as she violently combed through her short, soaked hair. Ignoring the purring cat at her ankles, the panicked woman ran into her closet and pull anything that looked half decent off its hanger and threw it onto her bed.

One shirt was too baggy. Another had a hole front and center. Rue finished buttoning up a third and crinkled her nose. Not only did she look homeless, but she did  _not_ want to guess at what the stain on the collar was. Huffing, she threw the shirt to the ground and picked up a gray shirt, tugging it on over her head, adjusting the long sleeves, and chewing her lip as she looked herself over. Not exactly  _professional,_ but it would do. She strung a suspiciously cheap silver chain about her neck, almost clawed her eyes out as she put in her contacts, and tugged her way into some black pants.

"Definitely should've woken up earlier," she muttered to herself, throwing half of her hair up, grabbing her jacket, and rushing out the door.

Her legs moved as quickly as they could. People stared as she sped past at a high-speed walk, which was arguably more distracting than a  _run_ would have been. Rue checked her phone just as she passed the gates to the Citadel, breathing a sigh of relief.  _One minute to spare._ Prompto stood in front of the towering doors, beaming at her as she breathlessly climbed the stairs.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine," she waved him off, crossing her arms uneasily. Suddenly, this didn't feel like such a great opportunity. She looked ridiculous, first of all, and second, she could hardly help but wonder why these two men had decided to help her out. Was it really all for Ignis?  _And why's this guy so damn **friendly?**_ "Is he here?"

"He's been here for hours," Prompto laughed, scratching at his thick blonde hair that was spiked up into some sort of elaborate construction on top of his head. "And he still doesn't know that you're the one that took the job, not that that matters."

"It will for Rayne," Rue muttered, tucking her hair behind her ear anxiously. Prompto offered a smile.

"Well, there's nothing she can do to you now, as long as you keep up with Specs."

"Specs?"

"Ignis, sorry." Prompto stiffly turned and opened the door for her, following her inside. "I hate feeling like I'm  _leading_ you," he teased, slowing down so she was walking beside him. "You know where his office is, right?"

"Yeah," Rue nodded. "I know the basics of this maze. Doesn't matter that I've been here for  _months_ now; I still get lost."

"Oh, I do too," he reassured her, skipping a step energetically. Rue arched an eyebrow. If he was this energetic  _now,_ she couldn't imagine what he was like when he was younger. "Sometimes Rayne and Ignis make fun of me, but I like to think I go on an adventure every time I leave that silly little office."

"That's a nice way to view it," Rue laughed to herself, looking around at the familiar halls. The floors looked recently polished, always reflective enough to work as mirrors, and the paintings on the walls had been straightened and dusted off. It was almost as though the building reset itself just as she had.

"Okay, so," Prompto started as they walked down the hallway of Crownsguard offices. "Don't be offended if he comes off as grumpy—he's just like that. Takes him a bit to warm up to people." He laughed, shaking his head. "He treated me like some dumb kid for the  _longest_ time. I think Noct got on his case about it because after our graduation he got  _real_ nice real quick."

"Too bad I'm not graduating," Rue muttered halfheartedly, twisting her cold fingers together nervously as they approached the advisor's door. "Any other tips?"

"Well..." Prompto's steps hesitated with his words. "I know Rayne gave you a hard time, but she's really not like that. She has to be scary—it's her job. She's pretty awesome, like a big sister to me and Noct, and she and Iggy are  _close._ Like, if Gladio hadn't knocked her off her feet and carried her off into the sunset, they'd probably, maybe, possibly be married by now." Rue cringed.  _That's tough..._ Prompto's cheeks flushed and he looked as if he wanted to suck the words back into his mouth. " _So_ , I just think you should try your best to not say anything about her around him." Prompto turned to grin at her. "But I think you'll do great."

"I hope so," Rue sighed. Prompto stopped before the door, turning to face her fully. Dramatically, he squared his shoulders.

"C'mon, deep breath." Rue rolled her eyes. "No, I'm serious! Deep breath!" Rue obeyed, raising an eyebrow. "Now breathe out. No! Not like that, you'll hyperventilate!" he hissed. She crossed her arms.

"Prompto, you're not helping. Open the door."

"Fine," he shrugged, turning the doorknob and knocking as he swung the door inward. "Knock, knock!" he greeted cheerfully. Rue couldn't see Ignis over Prompto's shoulder, but the smell of the room alone was enough to kick her nerves into overdrive. "Hey, Iggy!"

"What is it?" Ignis asked. Even toward his friend, the advisor's tone was cold as ice. Was he really that overworked, or did he simply suspect that something was up?

"So, remember that conversation we had yesterday? About an assistant?"

"... Regrettably."

"Gladio and I picked one out for you," Prompto replied just as cheerfully as he started. Ignis frowned, setting his pen down and directing his full attention to the doorway. Rue felt her stomach churn as all blood steadily drained from her face. Was this a bad idea? "You probably remember her—"

"Prompto, please," Ignis cut in impatiently.

Huffing, the blonde stepped aside and stretched out his arms as if to say, "Ta-dah!" The advisor's face didn't budge an inch from its scowl. Not a single sign of what he was thinking reflected in his eyes, his expression, or his demeanor as he stared Rue down while she stood uncomfortably in the doorway, unsure if she should enter the room.

"It's Rue!" Prompto exclaimed all too excitedly.

"I'm aware."

"Hi," Rue offered a smile, shuffling into the office slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly. "Thanks for having me."  _Shit_ _, that sounded really stupid. I'm not **performing.**_

"Of course," Ignis replied after biting back the initial words she could see about to spill out.  _This is about to be rough for the both of us, Bud._ "Prompto, have you shown her around the Citadel?"

"Iggy, she's been around here for a while," Prompto laughed uneasily. "She knows her way around, don't you, Rue?" Rue nodded compliantly. She wasn't entirely sure if she knew any of the places Ignis would need her to go, but she wasn't about to let the guy talk her ear off as they toured a thousand rooms she'd never find again anyway. "See? We wouldn't bring you someone  _incompetent._ "

A heavy silence overtook the room after his soft laugh faded. Awkwardly, Prompto cleared his throat and smiled, looking between his friend and Rue. Neither looked back; Rue stared at anything inanimate she could rest her eyes on and Ignis practically bored lasers through her as he thought. She could practically hear the cogs turning in his head. In fact, she half expected a whistle to sound as pressure released and steam rushed out of his ears. But nothing of the sort occurred. Ignis finally turned his gaze to Prompto, nodding curtly.

"Thank you, Prompto. Send Gladio my regards as well."

"You got it," Prompto grinned, saluting and flashing Rue a wink before heading out. The thud of the door closing made Rue flinch. She forced herself to look up at her newest boss.

"So," she started slowly, trying to calm her heart as his piercing eyes stared back, devoid of emotion. "We suffered through introductions. What's next?" Ignis arched an eyebrow; maybe he didn't get the joke. Her smile fell and she chewed on the inside of her cheek anxiously.

"I suppose you could use these forms," Ignis sighed finally, pulling out a desk drawer and setting a stack of papers onto his desk. Rue frowned; how many pages did this place print a  _day?_ "My apologies. I was not expecting those two to find someone nearly as quickly as they did." Ignis paused, studying her as though a sudden idea struck him hard. He said nothing more, however, and pushed the stack toward her. Curiously, she took it into her hands and flipped through the pages.  _Kingsglaive information. Of course._ She looked up at him, confused.

"What do you want me to do with these? They're already filled out."

"Of course they are. I need you to enter the information into the Citadel's database," the advisor replied sourly. Rue frowned, the toes of her shoes digging into the rug under her feet as she anxiously thought out her next reply. Before she could speak, Ignis scribbled down a note and handed it over. "This is the program you will use, as well as the override code to let you in."

"Where can I...?" Rue asked slowly, eyeing his computer. He scowled sharply, irritated with her inexperience. At this rate, it seemed she was going to take more time than him doing his work alone.

"Prompto said you know your way around," he pointed out, pushing his glasses up. "There's a library upstairs you may use."

"I'll get right on it," Rue answered with forced cheeriness, turning to the door and starting to step out. She froze in place when the door swung open and Rayne stood fuming in the entrance, fists balled at her sides and violet eyes flared wide.

"What the  _hell_ are you doing here?"

"I, uh, I—" Rue stammered, shocked. Ignis stood, raising an eyebrow at Rayne in question.

"Iggy, they said they were going to get you an  _assistant,_ not an incompetent piece of—"

"And they did," Ignis cut her off. Immediately, his demeanor softened. "I'll admit, she wouldn't be my first choice, but she's been presented the opportunity to prove herself and I'm inclined to let her have it."

"How many chances does she get?" Rayne demanded, crossing her arms and throwing her hip out to the side. "How many chances before she gets someone killed?"

"I hardly think she'll be in any such position anytime soon," Ignis replied firmly, though his eyes were earnest. Rue shifted her weight back and forth between her feet uncomfortably, avoiding Rayne's glare by studying the office with feigned interest. "And if she is, that will be by your choice."

"..." Rayne turned to face Rue fully, her jaw working tightly as she thought. "Rue, go wherever you were headed. I need to talk to him without you hovering."

Rue fought the urge to roll her eyes. She glanced back at Ignis, unsure if she should ask for directions. He scowled at his desk in silence. Pursing her lips, Rue brushed past Rayne and hurried into the hallway. The door slammed loudly behind her; she flinched. Prompto poked his head out of his office at the same time as Gladio. Rue averted her eyes and started to head toward the stairwell.

"Not going well?" Prompto called after her. Sighing, she turned to face the two curious men.

"Um, not particularly." Awkwardly, she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Rayne found out I'm here and now she's talking to Ignis."

"Shit," Gladio grunted, running a hand through his thick hair. "He's gonna tell her."

"And she's gonna whip your ass," Prompto teased with a grin. Gladio shot him a scowl. "Am I  _wrong?_ "

"Sorry about that," Rue breathed. Gladio shook his head.

"Nah, I did it to myself. She got on my case after she thought I was calling my 'side chick' last night." Rue crinkled her nose; he meant  _her._ The secret girlfriend of Gladiolus Amicitia? One could only dream. He nodded toward the stack of papers in her arms. "What's that?"

"Glaive files," Rue huffed. "Speaking of which, where's the library?"

"Head up the stairs and straight down the hall. It's the third door on the left," Prompto instructed.

"It's the on right," Gladio grumbled.

"Is it?"

"Prompto, which hand do you write with?"

"Right, but I—"

"I'll figure it out," Rue assured them, forcing a smile and turning to leave the two behind. This first day was already turning out to be a disaster.

She hurried up the stairs and found the library (it was, in fact, on the right). Not a single person was to be seen, or heard, in the wide, open floor of broad bookshelves and simple desks with flat-screened computers. Briskly, Rue headed to the computer at the back corner of the library and set her papers to the side. Using the note Ignis gave her, she finally found her way into the data entry program. She entered each and every prompted fact, number, and checkmark. It was tedious work, but she wanted to be sure she was right.

Sighing, she turned over the second to last page.  _Wish I had my earbuds._ Some names, like those of her friends, were familiar. The crimes they committed were perhaps the most intriguing to her. Eren was, as expected, the more innocent of the three. All he did was possess a knack for shoplifting that sometimes just didn't kick in. Dex was charged with several accounts of domestic assault and one of manslaughter. Relir was perhaps the most roughed up of the trio.  _Several_ assault charges, reports of drug possession, and the only three murders she ever committed—the killing of her mother, father, and sister.

Rue huffed, shaking her head. The four of them made up a strange group. It was odd enough how much the Darkness drove them to change. They did, of course, still wrestle with their old tendencies and hobbies, but the fact that the King himself was willing to allow them into his presence was enough motivation to take the second chance they were given. If only she hadn't fucked up two times over. She could be training with them instead of sitting at a desk typing in tidbits of information. Her eyelids were starting to droop—she needed her daily dose of caffeine. 

Rue finally punched in the last of the data, hit save, and stood to stretch as she checked the time with a yawn.  _That took an hour?!_ Startled, she collected her papers and hurried up the stairs to Ignis's office. Unlike earlier, there was no one in the hallway to greet her or ask how the day was coming along. She pushed open the office door timidly, greeted by the cold eyes of her newest boss. Ignis arched an eyebrow expectantly.

"I finished entering all the—"

"I see that," he interrupted, pushing his glasses up. "Bring them here."

Rue obeyed, setting the papers onto his desk and chewing on her cheek as she stood before him as an innocent child stood before their stern headmaster. Ignis rifled through the pages, throwing out the note with the login information with a sour expression. Quickly, he turned to his computer monitor and scanned over the screen. There was nothing but silence for a  _very_ long and  _very_ uncomfortable span of time. Finally, Ignis looked up at her with a face that expressed anything but satisfaction.

"On my own, that would have taken me around thirty minutes," he said strictly, his sharp eyes piercing her face. "On top of that, you misspelled several names even though you had them written out before you." Rue turned her gaze to the reflections of light that danced across his glossy desk. "I'm not entirely sure what your purpose is if this is going to be far less efficient than doing this on my own."

"I just started," Rue blurted. The blood drained from her face and left her lightheaded as she continued, forcing herself to look up at him. "Once I learn how to do everything, I'll probably be just as good. Besides, if you don't check everything I do, you'll have much more time than you did before."

"How can I trust that you've done well unless I review it?" Ignis asked dryly, unfazed.

"Check the first few times, then," Rue replied, crossing her arms. "Once you see that I'm making improvements, trust that I'm doing it right. I'm not out here to ruin your  _career._ "

"... We'll see," Ignis muttered, turning back down to his desk and scanning the papers once more before putting them away. Rue cocked her head to the side.  _Well, it's not "you're fired."_

 


	10. Mediocre at Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Fix You" by Coldplay

"Anything else?" Rue asked, setting yet another thick pile of papers on Ignis's desk.

The advisor hardly acknowledged the loud thump as the stack hit the surface. His eyes never once budged from the screen set before him, though a hand reached over to gather the papers. Rue stifled a yawn and rubbed the back of her neck. It was beginning to burn from all the craning she'd been doing over the past few hours. Finally, Ignis tore his gaze away from the monitor and went to work checking over every detail of her work. Sighing impatiently, Rue crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. This day was never-ending, it seemed.

"Looks good," Ignis muttered, filing them away.

"So?" Rue pressed. He glanced up at her.

"Be patient; I was getting to it," he replied a bit sharply, fishing through yet another drawer. Rue's heart fought between feeling ashamed of her pushiness and angered at his attitude. Before it could decide, Ignis pulled out a notebook. "Usually I would never miss one of these meetings, but unfortunately I have an appointment that can't wait." Rue took the slender black notebook into her hands, running her fingers over its smooth surface as she listened to him speak. "You'll have to go in my place. Read over my older notes to understand the structure and order in which I record them and then do the same." Ignis sighed, pushing up his glasses and glancing at his screen. "At three, His Majesty will enter into a meeting with the Glaive, primarily prominent members and Rayne. I expect detailed notes on the subject matter."

"And it's in the same room they use for negotiations?"

"If by 'they' you mean the King, then yes," Ignis answered coldly. "Be there ten minutes early so that you don't miss anything. Listen to the conversation around you for things that may not be spoken before the entire group."  _He wants me to keep him up to date on Citadel gossip? **Okay,** buddy._

"That's in, what, two hours? What do you need me to do in the meantime?"

"I can handle anything else."

"With all due respect," Rue started, shrugging her shoulders uncomfortably. "I don't have to just stick to paperwork. I'm willing to buy your damn groceries for you if it'll clear up some time in the day." The look she gave him was almost pleading for anything  _but_ another set of papers. How many official documents did one man need to keep on the same twenty-five people? "Is there anything that might be keeping you late today that I can finish in the meantime?"

"With all due respect, I don't think you're ready for any more responsibilities," Ignis replied smoothly. That stung. Rue backed off in every sense of the words; her body tensed, her gaze wandered, and her indestructible walls shot up another line of defense. There was a long pause before Ignis finally let go of a breath he seemed to be holding—maybe it was only a sigh. "There is one thing I suppose you can handle. I need you to set up a meeting with Schrader sometime this week. The man's schedule is insufferably disastrous; you should have been hired to work for him again." Rue blood ran cold and her mouth suddenly felt cottony as nausea almost knocked her clean off her feet. She hadn't moved, but she stumbled regardless, catching herself before Ignis could pick out anything in particular.

"Okay. I can do that." She nodded with far more confidence than she possessed.

Rue set the notebook down on the seat before his desk and strode out of the room, forcing her feet to step in line and straight down the hall to the guard's office. As hard as she tried to control them, her breaths were ragged and her heartbeats were rapidly quickening. Her stomach clenched, but there was nothing inside it could have spilled if she tried to vomit right then and there. Her fingers curled around the ice-cold doorknob and she shuddered, feeling goosebumps raise across her skin. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

"Don't you people ever knock?" Cam groaned, setting his pen down rather aggressively before glowering up at the woman in the doorway. His angered expression softened almost immediately and he allowed a sheepish smile. "Oh, hey Rue. Sorry about that; didn't know it was you." The captain stood, coming around the front of his desk and crossing his arms. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"When are you free this week?" Rue asked in a rushed voice, feeling her face warm when he arched an eyebrow. "I mean, for a meeting with Ignis." Cam frowned.

"What did you tell him?"

"What?" Rue squeaked, her hand clenching the doorknob tightly as her palms began to sweat. "He told me to..." Her words faded as Cam reached up to rub the back of his neck.

"So  _that's_ why you look like that." The corner of his mouth twitched up into a smile. "Listen, Sweetheart, I'm all for the sexy secretary look, but you're not exactly pulling that one off with those rags."

"I just need to know when you have time this week," Rue snapped, on edge with every movement he made. Cam, always quick to catch on, wrestled a cocky grin and meandered closer.

"Close that door, would you, Hon?"

"Captain, I need—"

"Yeah, yeah," he waved her off, pulling her inside the room by her wrist and shutting the door behind her firmly. Every muscle in her body tightened and locked; she stumbled like a magitek with rusty joints. "What's this meeting about? And where is it?"

"I-I don't know," she stuttered, turning around sharply to face him before he could try anything—not that that would stop him if he did. "And I'm assuming here. It probably depends on when you decide to—"

"Calm down," Cam laughed, tracing the back of his hand down her cheek. If she hadn't felt sick to her stomach, she might have batted it away. Instead, she stood as straight and stiff as a mannequin, unable to look up at the man that caused her so much trouble. She was ashamed of the way she'd never bothered to fight back as she was pressured into the deal they made, of how she'd been entirely willing to sell herself for just enough money to pay her rent. Old habits die hard, she supposed.

"Cam—"

"No, no, go back to calling me Captain," he crooned. "I liked that." He tugged on the hem of her soft gray shirt and cocked his head to the side. "Like I said, if you're going to look professional, you gotta wear something that doesn't age you twenty years."

"This is all I have." Rue tried to sound angry, but her fingers trembled as she reached up to brush her hair out of her face. Her glower faded to a fearful expression and she turned her face away from him again. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"I could always pay for it," he offered in a voice that  _almost_ sounded serious. Rue frowned, looking up at him in confusion. A crooked smile spread across his face and he ran his fingers down her back. "For the usual price, of course."

"No," Rue replied firmly, stepping away from him and toward the door. Cam laughed, leaning his hip against the desk.

"I'm kidding. I've got too much cash at hand—makes me uncomfortable." He walked around the side of his desk to dig for his wallet.

"I won't take your money," she said defensively, attempting to sound sure of herself. As always, she failed. Cam ignored her, pulling out a wad of cash and walking over to her.

"Two hundred gil," he announced triumphantly, offering it with an outstretched hand.

"I can't owe you anything."

"You don't," he shrugged. "Like I said, I have plenty and you've got nothing. I'm not all that bad, Rue."  _Doubt it._ She shook her head, though as she eyed the money, the temptation to believe him grew stronger. With a humored huff, Cam shoved the cash into her hands and turned back to his desk. "I'm good any day after four."

"..."

Rue's fingers curled around the paper bills slowly. The last time she held this much money... She shook her head, turning sharply on her heels and slamming the office door behind her. The anger that she could feel felt distant, an echo in the cavern of detached apathy that quickly flooded in to block out any and all pain. Ignis glanced up when she entered, doing a double take upon seeing the money clutched in her left hand.

"What's that for?"

"He's good any day after four," Rue reported stiffly, tucking the money into the back of her waistband. "Are there any errands that you need me to run to get me out of here?"

"Pardon?"

"Fresh air," Rue replied, crossing her arms. "Groceries are still a solid option, just so you know."

Ignis made no effort to reply, taken aback by her sudden change in attitude. Rue's stomach slowly pooled with dread.  _Shit_ _, did I ruin it?_ Slowly, Ignis reached up to adjust his glasses, thinking.  _Maybe not._ Finally, he sighed and reached into his pocket and handed over a paper bill.

"I suppose you could get a few things for me." Rue took the gil, waiting for his request, relieved that he hadn't asked any further questions. "Ebony, for one."

"Ebony...?"

"Coffee," Ignis replied, brows creasing. "Tall black can. I also require a new charger for my cellphone." His last words with disdain; Rue understood the feeling. With the world rising back up to production and attempting to return to the way it was before, it seemed quantity was put high above quality, especially when it came to electronics.

"Ebony and a charger. Got it," Rue nodded. "Anything else?" Ignis shook his head.

"No, I believe that's all."

"I'll be back before that meeting," Rue replied with a forced smile. She walked out briskly, hurrying to leave the enormous building that suddenly felt as though it was trying to suffocate her.

~|~|~|~|~

"Here we are!" Rue entered the office cheerfully, holding a six-pack of Ebony and a small plastic package containing a tightly wound black charger. Ignis looked irritated by her less-than-considerate attitude, but it was hard to stay annoyed at her lifted spirits as she handed over the items he'd requested, along with a crinkled wad of cash.

"Feeling better?" Ignis dared to ask, folding up the money and neatly tucking it away into his wallet. Rue nodded, flashing a genuine smile.

"The wonders of fresh air, let me tell you," she replied, picking up the notebook. "Time?"

"Two forty-five."

"I guess I'll be a bit early," she shrugged, pausing halfway to the door. "Do you have a pen I could use?" Silently, Ignis pulled a pen from the sleek black cup on his desk, turning his eyes back to the screen. Rue frowned; what was he always doing on there that she couldn't handle? "Any advice?"

"Pay attention."

"Alrighty," she huffed, turning and leaving the room. The gil tucked into the back of her pants scratched at her skin, but she never dared to fix it for fear of raising suspicion should anyone see her. She nearly ran straight into Rayne as they turned a corner at the same moment.

"Watch it," Rayne snapped, brushing past her to head to her office. Rue rolled her eyes, carrying on her merry way. Outside the throne room stood a guard she didn't recognize, likely her replacement. Eren was speaking to the girl with a friendly smile. He seemed shocked to see Rue approaching.

"Rue? I thought you were—"

"I've been rehired," Rue shrugged, grinning. "Gladio got me hired as a personal assistant."

"To Rayne?" Eren asked in disbelief, nearly cringing at the sound of the woman's name.

"No, no,  _gods_ no," Rue snorted, glancing at the guard. "To Ignis. He's a busy guy and I proposed the idea, so Gladio and Prompto got to work and, well, here I am."

"That's... Wow. Congrats," Eren laughed. "What's up with you lately, huh? Getting all bold."

"Desperate, more like," Rue scoffed. The girl laughed a little too loudly.

"I feel that!"

The two turned to look at her. Eren uncomfortably offered a smile and Rue frowned, arching an eyebrow. The girl shrunk back awkwardly. Shaking her head, Rue stepped around Eren to push the door open. 

"You, um, can't go in there."

Rue took a deep breath and turned to face the guard, willing her flaring annoyance to cool off.  _What'd Cam make you do for this post?_

"You have a list of people allowed in, right? Ignis sent me, so think of it like this: for the rest this meeting, I am Ignis Scientia." The girl hesitated, but she said nothing more as Rue pushed her way into the throne room. She threw Eren a curious look when he followed. "What're  _you_  doing?"

"It's a Glaive meeting," he shrugged. Rue frowned. "But it's not all of us," he hurried to explain. "Just Rayne, Gladio, and a few others."

"Axel?"

"You think Rayne would let us go anywhere without her child?"

"Her child," Rue muttered.

"He may as well be—she's basically in love with the guy."  _That's a bizarre mother-child relationship._

"Yeah, yeah," Rue waved him off, heading to the doorway that branched off of the east side of the expansive room. After all the damage Ardyn Izunia did, she was honestly surprised they were able to fix this place up without tearing it to pieces first.

All eyes were on the pair as they strode into the room. Rue's heart skipped a bit upon seeing the king seated at the head of the expansive black table that was lined with an excessive number of cushioned chairs. Uncomfortably, Rue started to walk toward a seat in the middle. Cor's voice stopped her.

"Ignis sits to the left of the king."

"Okay," Rue whispered, quickly changing direction and flinching when Eren squeezed her shoulder. Stiffly, she sat and set the notebook down, flipping through the pages in silence. Ignis's notes were precise, neat, and no-nonsense.  _Shit_ _._ There was no way she could match up to  _that._ She huffed; she could try.

Slowly but surely, members of the meeting began to fill the seats in the room. Rayne sat between Cor and Gladio, muttering something to her lover before facing forward. She was obviously refusing to acknowledge Rue's existence.  _Bitch_ _knows how to hold a grudge, I'll give her that._ At exactly three, King Noctis stood, scanning over the room silently. Rue glanced around uncomfortably, seeing that everyone was  _staring_ at the man with their fullest attention. Eren rested his elbow on top of his seat, twisting to face the king. The tips of his fingers rested on her shoulder as a reassurance, though he never looked away Noctis. Suddenly, everyone else stood. Rue scrambled to her feet. What the  _hell_ kind of tradition was  _this?_

"We stand for the kings of old who led our people boldly for centuries without fail," Noctis said firmly, as though this had been rehearsed a thousand times. "For those who died for the sake of their brothers and sisters under the throne." Rayne hung her head; Gladio rested a hand on her back. "And for those who continue to serve the Crown in these days of trial—may they find peace in their worth."  _What the...?_

The king looked around at the faces of those who stood around the table before him; finally, he sat down. As soon as he was still, everyone followed suit. Wrestling a frown, Rue glanced at Eren. He allowed the  _slightest_ of smiles. Quickly, seeing her chance, she scribbled down the date and gave a quick summary of Noctis's opening words in the neatest writing she could manage.

"Rayne," Noctis called, his voice bouncing off the dark, ornate walls around them. Rayne stood, though if it wasn't a formality, she certainly would stay seated. She did, however, look practiced in the art of attending royal gatherings such as this.  _Duh._ Rue almost smacked herself in the face. Of  _course_ she did; she was quite literally born and bred for this. This sort of nonsense is the only thing she'd done with her life since  _birth._ "What's the purpose of this meeting?" Okay, he sounded a bit awkward now.

"The Glaive, Majesty," Rayne replied, looking around at the six or so glaives that were seated. "We want to know our next course of action." She crossed her arms, tilting her head ever so slightly. "Last week there were three more attacks from those children. This has to be something related to a protest to your actions, but we've been unable to look into it because we've been picking up the slack for Schrader."

"Slack?" Noctis frowned. "Isn't he being investigated? There should be no slack to pick up."

"Highness," Cor cut in as Rayne sat back down. "He's aware of the investigations and refuses to direct the guard until they end."

"Why?"

"Something to the extent of not wanting to work if we'll just fire him anyway," Rayne answered. "Which, if he's innocent like he claims, he'll have nothing to worry about." Rue cringed as she wrote down a note about the investigations and Cam's refusal to comply.

"And so the Glaive is performing guard duties while the guards do what?"

"Hell if I know," Rayne snorted, earning a scowl from Cor. "They stand around doing jack-shit every single day. No one can get them to do anything else—they stand by their Captain."

"..." Noctis thought in silence for a moment. Rue wished that Ignis was there instead to help the poor guy. He probably was used to being offered solid advice, not seeing a panicked girl avoid his eyes while she wrote mediocre notes. The young king leaned forward, cocking his head to the side. "What do you think the next move should be?"

"Track their leader down, if they have one," Rayne shrugged. "Stamp 'em out."

"No," Noctis replied, shaking his head. "We're not gonna go out and kill a bunch of kids."

"Not  _kill_ them," Rayne corrected. "Just  _stop_ them. They're practically throwing themselves at us every time they show up. It's like they  _want_ to die."

"Going after them would only look like we're not interested in hearing the peoples' opinions," Cor added. "All the public knows is that they're openly against what His Highness has decided to do. If they learned what is really going on, knowing that we've killed a dozen of  _their_ children so far would bring immense problems for us in the future."

"Last I checked, this is a monarchy," Rayne retorted. Rue chewed her cheek uncertainly as they went back and forth, unsure of how much of this Ignis wanted her to record. "Sure, the people matter, but in the end, it's  _Noct's_ decision."

"You can't rule like that," Cor muttered.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you king?"

"Guys," Noctis interrupted, giving them a flat, irritated look. Both shut their mouths, disgruntled. "What does the Glaive think?"

"I say we take them out," a middle-aged man named Alexander shrugged, scratching at his beard. "They want to come after the Chosen King, we show them who's boss." Noctis clearly didn't like this answer. Axel sat up straighter, leaning forward to see the king's face.

"I agree with you, Majesty. I'm not sure a show of power will go over very well. Besides, they're  _kids."_ His bright eyes found Rue and her heart quit beating for a moment. "Rue said something I thought was kinda interesting the first time they attacked about how kids that are super easy to rile up—there's obviously someone out there convincing them that they're being robbed of something. Whoever it is is using their naivety to come after you."

All eyes turned to the blushing assistant that sat between Noctis and Eren. She wasn't sure if she should speak, so she ducked her head and wrote a summary of Axel's input. Eren, that wonderful man, cleared his throat to direct the attention away from her.

"Here's the thing," he started. "I see what they're both getting at, but I don't think we should stick to one extreme or the other. If we keep letting them run loose, eventually someone's going to figure out what's happening to all these missing teenagers and everyone will lose their heads. On the other hand, if we go after all of them that looks  _bad._ " He pushed on his glasses, giving a slight shrug with his shoulders as he turned his eyes to Rayne and Gladio. "I dunno. Would it be possible to hunt down their leader without killing them all off? If they're just being misled, it might be easier to talk to them that to kill them all. Martyrs and all that." Gladio chuckled.

"It's never easy to convince kids they're wrong," he grumbled. Rayne scoffed, rolling her eyes. Rue fought a smile and wrote some more.

"But it's not impossible, is it?" Noctis asked, looking over at his personal defenders. The couple exchanged a look. "You're  _are_ the best of the best, after all." Rue ducked her head to hide her grin as Gladio and Rayne perked up to the idea almost immediately. Noctis was  _smart;_ tickling the collective pride of those two was the equivalent of bribing a child with candy. It got stuff  _done._

"I don't see why we can't try," Rayne shrugged. Gladio nodded. He was being oddly quiet and Rue wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"In the meantime, keep an eye on that Schrader case," Noctis reminded them. His eyes met Rue's and her already pounding heart went haywire. Every nerve in her body struck at the same time and she shuddered, turning her eyes to the table. "Cor, you handle the guards."

"Yes, Highness," Cor replied dutifully. Noctis stood and the Immortal followed, staring at the people in the room with stern disdain. "Dismissed. Back to your posts."  _That was quick._

"Gotta go," Eren said with a grin, pushing in Rue's seat. She threw her hip out to the side, tilting her head to the left.

"Back to your fancy-schmacy job, I guess."

"Oh, of course," he scoffed playfully. He pushed his glasses up and straightened stiffly. "To serve the crown is the greatest purpose one could ever possibly have." 

"What that supposed to be Ignis?" Rayne snorted. The two jumped, turning to see the woman grinning at them—well, she was grinning at Eren. She still refused to acknowledge Rue's existence. "Sad attempt... keep practicing."

"Yes, ma'am," Eren laughed, turning back to Rue. "Listen, Relir and Dex wanna know if you want to get dinner with us tonight."

"Oh, I should give them my answer then," Rue bit back. "Since, y'know,  _you're_ not curious."

"That's not what I meant," he huffed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Eren!" Rayne called. "Get your ass moving!" Eren huffed, walking alongside Rue as they headed toward the exit.

"Well?"

"I'll think about it," Rue replied. "It's a solid 'maybe' right now. I just don't know when I'm gonna be done today. New job and all that."

"Of course."

"Faster, Eren!"

"Does she ever  _stop?_ " Rue hissed. Eren sent her a sympathetic glance before hurrying off.

"Text me, yeah?"

"Will do."

"Got a date?" Rue jumped, turning to see Cor and Noctis watching her, looking equally amused by her jumpiness. She was entirely unsure if she should bow on her knees or simply respond. Before she could decide, Cor spoke again. "At ease, Rue. How's Ignis?"

"Stressed," Rue reported awkwardly, avoiding the king's eyes. "He's over his head in things to do today." She tucked her hair behind her ear, frowning. "Is that... usual?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"How's the workload with your help?" Noctis asked. Rue's lips moved in silence for a few moments as she tried to find her words.

"He, um... I-it should be lighter, definitely. At least, as long as he stops checking over every little detail after I've done something."

"He's like that," Noctis sighed. "You going to be taking his place here often?"

"Not likely," she replied, quickly adding, "Highness." She cleared her throat, forcing an anxious smile onto her face. "Not with the quality of the notes I took for him. He seems very...  _particular._ "

"Yeah," Noctis muttered, glancing at Cor. "He'll lighten up with time; y'know, remember that not everything has to be done his way. Just give it time." He nodded toward the door. "You should probably start with getting back to him on time."

"Right," Rue nodded, backing away. "Thank you, um, Your Majesty. And Cor. Sir."

Awkwardly, she turned on her heels and briskly sped out of the room.  _Weird, weird, weird._ Not what she imagined her first interaction with the Chosen King to be like. She expected more authority and demand to manners and all that jazz. Not a casual discussion only half making fun of his best friend slash her boss.  _Weird._

She headed up the stairs and pushed open Ignis's office door to see him right where he always was. Except this time, instead of scowling at his computer screen, he was reading over a sheet of paper and drinking from a can of Ebony. She smiled softly, striding into the room.

"How was your meeting?"

"Fine." The advisor looked up, eyeing the notebook. "Mind if I look over that?"

"Sure," Rue sighed in defeat handing the book back. "Sorry about my handwriting."

"..." Ignis frowned, arching an eyebrow. His hand was frozen gripping the book as she handed it over, but he didn't move to take it further than that. Rue swallowed hard, unnerved.

"I-it's legible, I think," she stammered. "I just... It's not as neat as yours."

"I assumed as much," he replied coldly, taking the book and flipping to her page. He looked visibly pained, as if she'd thrown the notebook into a fire and danced on its ashes and  _not_ simply written a few disorganized notes. "What is this?" he demanded stiffly, pointing to the tiniest doodle in the corner and flashing the sharpest glare she'd ever seen. It may have been the scariest expression she'd ever seen if Rayne hadn't assaulted her with her banshee rampage a week ago.

"A chocobo," Rue squeaked, feeling her face warm up considerably. "Sorry, sometimes I just do that without even realizing that I—"

"When you misspell a word do not  _scribble,"_ he continued. Rue's teeth bit into her lip as she held back a protest. "Cross it out with a single line and write over top." He turned the page to its blank backside. "Why do you press so hard with the pen? I can see these notes for the next three pages."

"The ink didn't—"

"Imprints," he said sharply, looking up at her with disdain. Her mouth snapped shut. "They, are, however, very thorough." Rue breathed a sigh. Finally, something he didn't  _hate._ "A bit too thorough, I might add. Brevity is a virtue."  _Okay, nevermind._

"Okay," Rue murmured, feeling as though she'd been beaten to a pulp. Ignis looked up at her.

"Have a seat." She obeyed quickly. "They spoke on the Schrader issue?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"How long did you work under him?" Ignis asked, adjusting his glasses. Rue felt nauseous again.  _Bad wording, pal._

"About six weeks."

"And did he display any of this careless behavior at the time?"

"Uh..." Rue took a deep breath, turning her eyes up to the ceiling. "I mean, yeah. I wouldn't say he was careless; he was more reckless than anything. It seemed like he either didn't know what he was doing or he didn't care."

"So carelessness."  _Way to make me feel stupid._

"Sure."

"Rue," Ignis said abruptly. "There is no 'sure.' Was he or was he not careless?"

"Yes, he was," Rue huffed.

"Now," he started, choosing his words carefully. "When you were...  _terminated_ last week, Rayne had mentioned something I found to be of interest in this investigation."  _Fuck fuck fuck_ _._ "There were rumors that you two had been—"

"Rumors?" Rue cut in, alarmed. "I thought it was just Rayne."

"Well..." Ignis sighed. He looked uncomfortable—for once. "It was a rumor amongst those of us in the Crownsguard. Based on your reaction, I'm assuming they're true." Rue said nothing. "There are a few reports that were tucked away; I happened upon them the other day."

"Reports?" As per usual, her heart was pounding.

"Sexual harassment, more specifically," he clarified. "Reports from several of the younger women in the guard service. If you're able to file one of these, it may be just what we need to—"

"No." Rue's hands were balled into fists on her lap and her eyes were locked on the table. Cam's money scratched at the base of her back, a constant reminder of what she owed him. This could have been her chance to give him what he deserved, but at the same time, the niggling little voice in the back of her head told her that she could handle this—she'd be the one to destroy Cameron Schrader. "It... It was entirely consensual. And it was  _once."_ She peered up at Ignis through her lashes. "I don't know what Rayne heard, but it was one time; it was an accident and I'm ashamed. There's nothing there for you to use, Ignis. I'm sorry."

Ignis leaned back in his seat, frowning. His eyes searched her face for any sign of a lie; he found nothing but an unreadable, dead serious expression. As far as he could tell, she was being entirely honest. And she was uncomfortable. Sighing, Ignis nodded and took a drink from his can of Ebony. Pursing her lips, Rue cocked her head to the side.

"So... What's next?"

"You can go home," Ignis replied simply.

"What?" Rue frowned, unsure if he meant they were done for the day or if he was angry, and therefore, he didn't want to see her ever again. Ignis raised an eyebrow.

"Go home. We're done for today."

"Oh. Okay." Rue stood uncertainly. "Are you sure you don't need anything else? I don't want you stuck here late or anything."

"No need to worry," Ignis replied, touching his glasses habitually. "I have the unfortunate obligation of friendship that's forcing me to leave this evening." Rue snorted, crossing her arms.

"Wish I could say I can't relate." The was an awkward pause. "Okay, well, see you bright and early tomorrow."

"Goodbye," Ignis nodded, watching her leave. The second the door closed, he pulled his glasses off and massaged his forehead with a hefty sigh. Was this really worth the effort?


	11. Mundane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Colorless" by Copeland

"C'mon, buddy, get your ass up. We'll lock you out if you don't come with us; you won't be able to lockpick your way in."

"I can certainly try," Ignis replied dryly, signing the bottom of the last form. 

The piles upon piles of paperwork never seemed to end, and he wasn't entirely sure this new "assistant" was going to be of any use, especially not with her track record. But, she seemed eager to please and ready for a shot so he figured he may as well try. At least, that's what he figured after a bit too much wine and a pleasant evening with Gladio and Prompto.

"I'll get Gladio to hold the door shut," Rayne huffed, squatting and laying her arms across his desk. She rested her cheek on her wrist and stared up at him with bright, wide eyes. " _Please?_ "

"One more moment," he muttered, clipping the pages together and tucking them away. As he stood to pull his jacket on, Rayne leaped to her feet and threw a fist in the air before sprinting back out into the hallway.

"I got 'im, boys!"

"Yeah, yeah," Noctis huffed, peeking his head into the doorway. "Hurry it up, Specs. Cor's gonna beat my ass for this."

"He will not," Ignis responded calmly, turning to face the young king with an arched eyebrow. "Not if you're careful."

" _Right._ "

"Are we all driving separately?"

"What do  _you_  think?" Rayne asked, poking her head in over Noct's. He flinched, not expecting for her to be so close. "Of course we are! Gladio and I aren't keeping you all overnight, are we?" She paused. "That was rhetorical."

"Of course it was," Ignis grumbled, stepping out of the office and locking the door behind him. Gladio clapped a hand down on his back, grinning.

"Finally rescued him from his cave, huh?"

"Are we going?" Ignis snapped, though it was half-hearted. Really, he was just tired and ready to sit back and let his friends entertain him with their bickering—something he'd never admit he enjoyed, of course.

"Yup," Prompto replied cheerfully, skipping past the advisor. "Where's your car, Iggy?"

"Same place as always," Gladio chuckled. "He's officially claimed that spot by the wall."

"It's a good spot," Noctis shrugged, following his bouncy blonde friend. Rayne nudged Ignis's shoulder, smiling softly.

"You really don't have to come if it's too much."

"Too much?"

"I don't know. They're just a lot and you've been dealing with bullshit all day."

"Have I?" Ignis raised an eyebrow.

He understood Rayne's dislike for Rue, he truly did. But at the same time, it was hard to imagine that she could hold such a strong grudge over something that really was not entirely Rue's fault. Of course, his new assistant was clumsy in nearly every aspect of her work, not to mention  _sloppy,_ but she was genuinely trying. That was more credit than Rayne ever gave her.

"Any horror stories to humor me?" Rayne prodded. "She dump hot coffee all over you or accidentally shred invaluable information?"

"Nothing of the sort," Ignis replied coolly. "She does as she's told."

"Just you wait," Rayne warned him, though her violet eyes were sparkling as they met his. A sharp prick stabbed into his chest, piercing his heart and forcing him to look forward toward the king and his friend.

"She's not that bad," Gladio butted in. "Give 'er a break."

" _You_ of all people should dislike her more than me," Rayne retorted, throwing him a scowl over her shoulder. "But no. You're sneaking around and calling her to give her jobs behind my back."

"Hey, she made a good point about Iggy's workload," the king's shield shrugged. Ignis caught the door to the garage as it swung shut behind Noctis. "Those two never grew up."

"Why would they?" Ignis murmured, watching them tug at the handles on his car's doors, bumping each other as they fought for shotgun. "That would be too easy." Rayne laughed, jumping when Gladio almost hit her in the face whilst swinging his car keys around a single finger.

"Dude! Watch it!" She framed her face with her hands. "This is the money maker."

"Absolutely not," Ignis scoffed, parting ways as she protested loudly. "Would you stop tugging?" he snapped as Prompto and Noctis continued to push and shove each other. "Prompto's in front."

"Hell yeah!"

"What?!" Noctis stared at his advisor in betrayed disbelief.

"Highness, it's far too easy to recognize the king himself if he's seated in the front of my vehicle," Ignis replied dutifully, if not a bit wryly.

Defeated, Noctis rolled his eyes and slumped in the middle of the backseat. Prompto jumped into the front and pulled a cord out of his pocket. Ignis heaved a sigh, shaking his head impatiently. His car rumbled to life at the turn of his keys. She was no Regalia, but she got him where he needed to be smoothly and quickly, the only thing he could really ask for. It didn't hurt that she was pretty. Prompto connected the wire to his phone and scrolled through his music, humming a tune from one of the video games he used to play in high school.

"Hey, a throwback!" he said cheerfully as guitars and drums suddenly came blasting through the speakers. Ignis nearly jumped out of his skin, immediately moving to turn it down; Noctis laughed. "Don't give me that look, Iggy. It's All Time High!"

"We know," Noctis retorted. Prompto made a face into the rearview mirror. Ignis took a deep breath, pushing up his glasses and attempting to ignore his pounding headache as they pulled out into Insomnia's streets behind Rayne and Gladio's sleek black vehicle. "Are we going straight there?"

"Where else would we go?" Ignis asked, smoothly turning right. Noctis leaned his head forward between the seats. Ignis dared to look away from the road to scowl at him. "Noct, sit down."

"Why? Did you see that guy?"

"What guy?" Prompto asked, turning around to look back at the man standing on the street corner with a poster. Ignis could only imagine what sort of cocky catchphrase the protestor had written to catch peoples' eyes. "Him?"

"It's nothing," Noctis huffed, slouched back in his seat. He stared out the window in silence. Chewing of his lip, Prompto reached forward and turned the music up a little, allowing for a more comfortable silence that carried them the rest of the way to Rayne and Gladio's home.

Rayne crossed her arms tightly as she left the car beside them just as Ignis parked. She quickly hopped up onto the sidewalk and shuddered, squinting at the setting sun. Gladio's head hit the ceiling of the vehicle as he exited; he grunted and muttered something under his breath. Ignis watched, amused, and led the way up the steep stairs that led up to the second floor. Rayne and Prompto huddled together impatiently as Gladio unlocked the door; Noctis was hidden from the public eye as he was sandwiched between his advisor and Rayne. Quickly, everyone filed inside and kicked their shoes off by the door. Ignis shed his coat and hung it on a hook nearby before heading to the kitchen.

"Damn!" Rayne huffed, flopping onto the couch across the open room. "It's the end of March; why's it so damn cold?"

"Probably your fault," Noct muttered, earning an eye roll. Prompto hurried over the television, cheering.

"Rayne, you kept the system safe! Thanks!" He lifted a controller up from where it was stacked on top of the console he'd forgotten at Gladio and Rayne's place the previous week. "Wanna play, Noct?"

"Sure."

"What's the plan, Iggy?" Gladio asked, meandering into the kitchen and leaning against the breakfast bar. Ignis opened the lid to the crockpot he'd dropped off early in the morning and sighed when his glasses steamed up. Removing them quickly to wipe the lenses off on his shirt, the advisor turned to face Gladio.

"A simple roast. I haven't had much time, otherwise, I might have taken a bit more time to prepare this."

  
"It's fine," Rayne shook her head, closing her eyes and slouching. "Food is food."

"I agree," Gladio chuckled, straightening and heading to the fridge. He grinned upon opening the door and seeing a case of his favorite beer inside. "Shit, we got the good stuff."

"Do you always forget what you've bought on a whim?" Ignis teased, taking a look at the slow-cooked meal. Normally he would have tried to avoid soaking all this food together all day—it turned the vegetables into a mushy mess, but he hadn't had the time to start the meal earlier.

"Try 'n convince me you haven't done the same with Ebony," Gladio retorted, cracking open a chilled bottle and taking a drink. "Want any Rayne?"

"What is it?"

"What do you think?"

"Gross," Rayne crinkled her nose, turning to face them. "No thanks. Keep that shit to yourself."

"I'll take one," Noctis offered. Gladio glanced at Ignis.

"It's the only day of the week he gets a break."

"I said nothing."

Gladio shrugged and carried the case over to the couch, letting Prompto and Noctis each take a bottle and settle back into their gaming. They were surprisingly quiet, grumbling insults and occasionally hitting each other's controllers as they focused entirely on their game. Ignis dished out their dinners as his four friends sat in the living room; he tried to ignore the bulky arm around Rayne's shoulders, the fingers running through her hair, the whispered flirts that drew smiles across their faces. It seemed as though it was all he could pay attention to.

Swiftly, he set the table and pulled out a few bottles of his favorite wine (one of which, he recalled, he'd drunk far too much of the night before thanks to Gladio's prodding). Noctis groaned as Prompto cheered, throwing a fist in the air.

"Yes! See that!? Ha!"

"Dinner's done," Rayne muttered, patting Gladio's thigh once and jumping to her feet. "Holy shit, Ignis. You did it again."

"What else would I be doing on a Thursday afternoon?" Ignis muttered, sitting between her and Noctis, who crinkled his nose at the sight of vegetables. The advisor sighed; he really was still a child, even all these years later.

" _Fuuu..."_ Prompto moaned slouching in his chair with a mouthful of food. "This is  _good._ "

"Did you expect any less?" Rayne scoffed, glancing to her left with a soft smile. "Thanks, Iggy."

"Guys, quit flattering him and eat," Noctis grumbled, flashing a cocky grin. "Too many compliments aren't good for his ego."

" _His_ ego?" Rayne gawked. "Try  _Gladio's._ At this point it's so inflated, we don't even fit in the same bed."

"Sounds like trouble in paradise," Prompto taunted in a sing-song voice, ducking his head when Rayne shot him a glare.

"Sounds like we need a new bed," she said, sending Gladio a pointed look. He wasn't fazed, shrugging.

"Maybe you shouldn't have broken ours."

"Um..." Prompto frowned, exchanging a look with Noct. Ignis focused on the way his fork pierced his food as he listened, trying to detach the words from the emotions.

"Not like that, pervert," Rayne scoffed. Gladio snorted, jumping when she kicked him under the table. "I just got too excited and maybe jumped on it a couple times."

"It's like sleeping in a mattress bowl."

"Then why don't you get a new one?" Noctis asked, eyebrows raised.

"Because he says he'll fix it," Rayne huffed, watching Ignis fill his glass with wine. "But, as we all know, this  _lovely_ asshole across from me is completely unable to hold his word because he has no time. And so, I've been sleeping in a 'mattress bowl' for the past month."

"C'mon, Gladio, just buy the bed," Prompto pushed, readily convinced that Rayne shouldn't have to suffer under any circumstances. To him, she was the big sister he never had.

"Why's it my job?" Gladio demanded, taking another bite before continuing. "She broke it."

"It's your bed, too," Noctis pointed out. His shield shrugged.

"It feels good on my back."

"Rayne, dare I ask why you were jumping on the bed?" Ignis asked, raising an eyebrow. She chewed on her cheek, exchanging a look with Gladio. Her cheeks flushed a bright shade of red and she pushed her food around her plate. "Rayne?"

"I may or may not have heard that there was another season of  _Queer Sight_ coming out," she muttered under her breath. Ignis blinked at her in silence and Prompto burst out laughing, throwing his head back.

"Seriously!?"

"Yeah," Gladio scoffed. "You don't live with her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rayne demanded.

"You do some weird shit," Gladio chuckled, taking a drink of his beer.

"Like what?"

"What, you want me to tell them?"

"I'm just curious."

"Guys," Noct huffed. No one heard him.

"Okay." Gladio straightened. "You called Axel our son. You laugh when kids die in movies—"

"I don't know how to react!"

"You cried when Prompto sold his old camera to get a new one."

"That was full of memories!" Rayne protested.

"I printed all the pictures!" Prompto reminded her. Ignis and Noctis swapped a glance before the advisor spoke up.

"Perhaps you should save your home issues for when you're alone," he hinted, giving Gladio a stern look.

"Yeah, yeah," Gladio grumbled. "I didn't bring it up." Rayne practically dove across the table to jab at him with her fork.

"Don't you  _start!"_


	12. Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Nightmare" by Halsey

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," Relir greeted as Rue finally joined her three friends at an outdoor table at their favorite restaurant. Eren scooted over on the bench to give her more space, smiling warmly. "How's the new job?"

"Fine," Rue shrugged, looking across the table to Dex. "How're you healing up?"

"Not bad," he shrugged back. "Those healers know what they're doing. I'll be pain-free within the next few days."

"That's really good," Rue raised her eyebrows. Eren nodded, touching the frames of his glasses and running a hand through his hair.

"I know! No kid's gonna take down our Dex, that's for sure."

"Hell no," Dex snorted, nudging Relir with his elbow. "Could you imagine?  _Me,_ killed by some little trigger-happy punk?" She laughed, shaking her head. Rue chewed on her lip uncomfortably, suddenly realizing these two likely had the same "kill them all" attitude as Alexander. "Anyway, enough with work shit. It's time to kick back 'n relax."

"We don't have time for that," Relir sighed, rolling her eyes as her fiancé threw an arm around her shoulders. "We ordered without you, but it's a big tray of stuff; you know the drill."

"Fine," Rue shrugged indifferently. It wasn't like she would eat much of it anyway. Dex seemed to read her thoughts as Relir gnawed on a toothpick to his left. His brow creased and he pushed his shoulder-length hair out of his eyes.

"Uh, listen, Rue..." Relir and Eren  _immediately_ shot him warning glares as if by instinct—at this point they knew exactly when the guy was going to cross the line. He, as always, ignored them. Rue sighed, directly her eyes elsewhere; was he good at pretending he couldn't see them or was he really  _that_  stupid? "I know it's none of my business, but as your friend—don't kick me, babe—I just wanna make sure you're okay." He leaned forward, lowering his voice. He looked genuinely concerned, and from a man who hardly emitted anything but cocky jock-like confidence, that meant a lot. "This isn't about the, uh, body image stuff again? Cuz, I mean, we're all here for you, but if you're having problems again, I think you should talk to someone."

"I'm fine," Rue insisted, crossing her arms and shuddering as a blast of cold air rushed through the alleyway they were tucked into. The beginning of spring was a joke—it was merely false hope as winter struck its final, and sometimes hardest, blows.

"Yeah, you say that, but you never  _eat._ "

"Dex," Relir hissed, kicking him again.

"What? You expect me to pretend nothing's wrong when obviously something is?"

"Really, Dex, I'm fine," Rue butted in, forcing a smile. "Honest. I'm just a little stressed about all these changes lately. It's not... the same as before."

"You sure?" She nodded firmly. "Okay." Dex straightened, though he didn't seem quite as satisfied as he tried to show he was. "How was the meeting, Eren?"

"A little tense," Eren admitted, rubbing the back of his neck and taking a drink from a steaming mug that warmed his hands. "Rue was there in place of Ignis."

"Really," Relir huffed in disbelief. "You know how hard it is for the  _Glaive_ to get in there? You're one lucky duck."

"Yeah, well," Rue muttered, lifting one shoulder in a half shrug. "It wasn't all that great. Kind of boring." She paused, frowning. "Actually, it really wasn't. It was kind of unnerving."

"Yeah, takes a bit to get used to," Eren agreed with a soft laugh. He watched her shiver again with concern glimmering in his hazel eyes. He offered his mug. "Wanna try? It's chai."

"Of course it is," Rue scoffed, rolling her eyes, but she gladly accepted the drink and took a sip. The spiced drink burned her tongue in several places, but the heat that traveled through her body easily made the pain worth it. "Thanks, pal."

"Yeah, no problem," Eren replied, taking it back without so much as looking at her. There was something odd in his voice. Rue frowned at Relir, who merely shot her a confused expression back. He cleared his throat. "How's the situation with, y'know..." Relir shook her head and Dex scoffed.

"What?" Rue's brows pinched together as she watched the three of them exchange looks. "Is this some big Glaive secret I can't know?"

"Kind of," Relir admitted with a sigh.

"Then don't talk about it."

Before Relir could say anything, a waiter in a dirty apron appeared with a long tray of meats and vegetables. A waitress came around to his side and set a mug of hot water and several tea bags in front of Rue before bustling back to help the man set the tray down.

"Hell yes," Dex whispered; Relir snickered, shaking her head. He looked over at Rue as she slowly sank a peppermint tea bag into her mug, watching as the water stained a deep shade of green. "Hey, pass her a plate, dude. Don't make her reach." Eren rolled his eyes mild-manneredly and set a plate before Rue.

"I was getting to it, asshole."

"It's douche bag," Rue murmured, earning two laughs and a scowl. Relir started to pile food onto her plate as Dex ate right off the tray.

" _So,_ " Relir started, licking sauce of her thumb. Rue pressed her lips together and Eren's demeanor changed ever so slightly. They both knew what was coming. "It's been a while since I asked—"

"Not really."

"Any guys caught your eye?"

"Nope," Rue replied simply, defensively, as she battled images of Cam by stuffing a charred sweet pepper into her mouth.

"You sure? No cute guards or anything?" Relir sounded exasperated. "For fuck's sake, I'd even accept the fact that you have the hots for  _Ignis_ at this point." Rue made a face. He wasn't a bad looking guy by any means, but his personality soured any sort of attraction she might have felt at any point. "Really?  _No one?_ "

"Yeah, really," Rue said, pulling her jacket tighter around her body.

"C'mon, Relir," Eren urged. "Let it be."

"Let it be," Dex mocked in a whiny voice, stuffing a kabab in his mouth. Eren shot him an irritated look, which he then shot back.

"You guys are children," Rue muttered, taking a sip of her piping hot tea gingerly.

" _You guys are children,"_ Dex grumbled, rolling his eyes. That made him crack up; he laughed, looking around at the scowls that were directed at him.

~|~|~|~|~

"See ya'll later," Relir called, waving as she and Dex got into their car. Eren and Rue waved back, coats buttoned and pulled tight around their shoulders.

"They drive me insane," Rue admitted as they turned to walk in the other direction. Eren raised the remote to his keys, finding his vehicle in the packed parking lot as it chirped.

"Yeah, me too."

Rue gnawed on the inside of her cheek, an idea suddenly sparking and overcoming any hesitations she might normally have. She rushed forward, grabbing hold of Eren's arm with both hands. Her pale eyes peered up at him innocently when he looked down at her. Any other man may have melted on the spot; that is if he didn't already have his mind made up about her.

"Okay, this is really stupid, but I  _really_ want ice cream all of a sudden."

"Yeah?" Eren chuckled as she nodded eagerly. "Get in; I know a place."

"Yes!" she cheered, practically throwing herself into the passenger side seat.

Eren started the car and pulled into the busy streets of Insomnia. Rue watched lights and people and shops pass by, amazed. Just  _how_ did Noctis accomplish all this? Rebuilding even just a quarter of the city to what it was before in a mere  _two years._ It was almost inconceivable. Soft music filled the gaps of comfortable silence as they drove a few blocks. Eren squeezed his car into a parking space along the sidewalk and the two stepped out of the car. Rue shivered as a chilly breeze blew down the lamp-lit sidewalk.

"C'mon," Eren urged her, opening the glass door to the bright ice cream shop. She stepped inside, instantly enveloped in the heavy scent of vanilla. The décor was bold, and if she dared to think so, a bit obnoxious with its hot pinks and neon greens. A smiling chocobo appeared to be the mascot. Rue couldn't help but scoff.  _The Golden Chocobo. Cute._ "What do you want?" Eren asked, pulling out his wallet.

"Oh, no, you don't have to—"

"I know," he replied with a simple smile. Rue felt guilt claw at her chest.

"But it was  _my_ idea."

"And  _I_ took the bait. Now, what do you want?"

"... Fine." Rue glanced at the extensive menu that took up an entire wall—the font was so small she could hardly read the text from where she stood. Sometimes she forgot they'd only known each other for a few months. It felt like far longer. "Just one scoop of chocolate in a bowl."

"Simple woman," he commented.

"That a problem?" Rue asked smugly, raising an eyebrow. Eren cocked his head to the side.

"Not at all."

Rue's stomach churned.  _Oh gods, not again._ Sometimes she couldn't tell if she came off as flirty or not... It made her wonder if she said something to set Cam off. Maybe if she'd been a little clearer, a little more distant, nothing would have happened. Eren stepped up to the counter and gave the cashier his order. The teenage girl hurried to dish out their ice cream before setting the foam bowls on top of the case and heading back to the register. Eren handed Rue hers and led the way to a small table in the back of the tiny shop.

"Vanilla, huh?" Rue commented, spooning a mouthful of her dessert into her mouth and moaning dramatically. " _This_ is the shit."

"Yeah?" Eren grinned at her response. She nodded, eagerly taking another bite. "Vanilla's  _too_ simple, huh?"

"Nah, I like predictability," Rue shrugged, entirely focused on her spoon.

"So you knew I'd get it."

"Of course I did," she scoffed light heartedly, rolling her eyes. Eren raised an eyebrow and Rue snickered. "You don't understand how happy this makes me."

"I think I do," he laughed, watching her as she gobbled down her ice cream.

"Lies," she mumbled, peering up at him with a sly smile. "Y'know, this is  _almost_ like a date." It was satisfying to watch the color creep into his cheeks. "Except for the fact that we're surrounded by chocobos and obnoxious lights."

"Hey!" Eren protested. "I think it's cute!"

"You would," Rue teased.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"I'm honestly not sure. I'll leave it up to interpretation."

"You would."

"Fuck off," she laughed, kicking his leg. He chuckled, adjusting his glasses. Rue cocked her head to the side. "How strong's the prescription on those?"

"Not very," Eren huffed. "I'm okay without 'em, but I'd prefer to see clearly."

"Can't relate," Rue sighed. He shook his head.

"Sometimes I forget you're a fellow dork."

"Dork?" Rue pretended to be offended. " _Excuse_ me, sir, being unable to  _see_ doesn't make me a  _dork."_

"I beg to differ."

"Well, you're  _wrong."_

"That's your opinion."

"Dude," Rue snapped, rolling her eyes. She only earned a dimpled grin. "Quit it."

"What?"

"You know what," Rue scoffed. "What's wrongwith you?"

"A lot of things," he grumbled under his breath. Rue shook her head, trying her best to mock Relir's tone.

" _So_ , when're you gonna find yourself a girl?"

"Someday," Eren shrugged. "Not soon, probably."

"Probably? Got someone in mind?"

"Nah." Eren dumped the rest of his ice cream into his mouth.

"Uh, I think meant 'yes,' Eren." She leaned forward and folded her hands together. "Who?"

"It doesn't matter," he shook his head. "I'll not looking for anything and neither is she."

"You can't know that," Rue scoffed.

"She told me."

"You asked her on a date?"

"What? No, of course not." Eren frowned, startled by her assumption. "She just happened to mention it."

" _Okay,"_ Rue tucked her hair behind her ear and pressed her lips together. "Listen carefully: when a girl says that to some random guy out of the blue, with no precursor, it probably means she either wants to gauge your reaction because she's interested, or because she knows you're interested and she just wants confirmation, or both."  _Or she's just being honest... Gods, why are we so complicated?_

"And how am I supposed to figure out which it was?" Eren asked, frustrated.

"Ask. Her." Rue leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. "Just ask her out or something, but don't make it sound like a date."

"You want me to be just as confusing as her," he accused, playing with the melted remnants of his ice cream. "That's not going to help—it's already confusing enough as it is."

"Fine, don't take my advice," she shrugged, feigning indifference. "Let things play out. It's probably better that you don't take it, anyway. I don't have a good relationship track record."

"You're not wrong," Eren muttered smugly. After she swatted his knee, his smile fell and his voice took on a more serious tone. "You were married before, weren't you?" Rue frowned, turning her eyes to the tabletop.

"Yeah, I guess. It wasn't all it's chalked up to be, though."

"I get that," Eren nodded. He didn't bother to ask what the trouble was exactly. Instead, he took a deep breath before standing. "Well, I guess I should get you home. It's late and we've both got early mornings ahead of us."

"Yup," Rue replied curtly, tossing out her trash and heading back out into the cold.

The ride back to her complex was silent, and this time it was not comfortable. An odd tension hung in the air that filled the car; she didn't like it. Rue leaned against the window, watching the world flash by in a whirlwind of swirled, streaked lights. Fortunately, the ride was a short one, and Rue quickly thanked her friend before hurrying up to her apartment. She already felt the stirring in the bottom of her stomach as her tongue suddenly remembered the sweet taste left on her tongue.

She hurried to her bathroom, trembling with dread as she glanced at herself in the mirror. The only reflection she saw illuminated her rounded cheeks, the indent in her hips were her pants cinched too tightly, the bit of extra fat on her thighs. All she saw in her own eyes was loathing disgust. All that hard work to get to this point... To go back.  _Ana doesn't deserve this._  Her lips twitched as a plea for help was silenced by the blood pumping through her veins. Violently, she was thrown to the floor as she scrambled toward the toilet and retched, spilling anything and everything she'd consumed that evening. With a strangled sob, she fell back against the tub and buried and her face in her knees.  _What's wrong with me?_

 


	13. It Gets Weirder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Louder Than A Lion" by Eisley

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Rue asked carefully as Ignis tried to suffocate a sneeze. The mere force of it almost knocked him out of his seat. He pushed up his glasses with an indignant sniff and waved her off.

“I’m fine. Are those finished?”

“Forms are filled, data’s entered, Cor’s good for two-thirty, and I brought an Ebony just in case.” She held up the chilled can in her left hand, raising an eyebrow. Ignis nodded, gratefully accepting the source of his mild caffeine addiction.

“Thank you.”

It had been almost a week since she started. It quickly became apparent to Ignis that she wasn’t as incompetent as Rayne made her out to be. Certainly, she made a grave mistake, but that didn’t entirely figure her into a failure. She caught on to what he needed quite easily, though everything he’d allowed her to touch was simple. Rue was most definitely eager to please.

“Anything else?” Rue urged, trying to pry another assignment from her boss. Ignis shook his head, slowly cracking open the can.

“Not currently, no.” He lifted the Ebony to take a sip, pausing when the cool aluminum touched his lips. Sighing, he set his drink down and looked up at his assistant. “Close the door and have a seat.”

“Yes, Sir,” Rue muttered, turning on her heels and obeying before returning to his desk and plopping down on the leather seat behind her. Crossing her legs, she leaned forward, ready to listen.

“In two days, I will be leaving with the Crownsguard and Noctis.” Rue frowned, a thousand questions flurrying about her head as gnawing jealousy chewed at her insides. Why couldn’t  _she_ leave? Ignis’s brows were pinched in such a way that tossed concern into her mix of emotions. “I cannot say why, but we should be gone only a few days at the most.”

“Does this have anything to do with those kids?”

“No,” he replied firmly, folding his slender fingers together. “Nothing of the sort. I’m telling you this so that you can prepare to run things on your own.”

“ _What?”_ Rue stared at him in disbelief. “I’ve done nothing but paperwork, data entry, and coffee runs. And scheduling appointments, but that’s not my point.” She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms and shaking her dark hair out of her eyes. “What do you expect me to do around here?”

“Everything you’ve been doing already,” Ignis replied simply. “I can handle my own duties from my placement; all that matters is that you keep our database up to date and manage any schedule changes.”

“So actual assistant stuff,” Rue retorted, rolling her eyes. Her heart stuttered when Ignis arched an eyebrow. “Sorry,” she mumbled, staring hard at her knee and absently smoothing her skirt. She’d used the money Cam gave her to buy some more “professional” clothes for the Citadel, which Ignis seemed to appreciate in a “you make me look a little less bad for letting you work here” kind of way. She had to admit, she hated using that man’s “donation” for what he wanted but looking less like a homeless woman was worth it.

“For now, go see if Prompto needs any assistance.”

“Oh, so now you’re passing me around,” Rue teased. Ignis made no reply, and this time, she didn’t hesitate to defend herself. “It’s a joke.”

“I know.”

“Then what’s that face for?”

“It wasn’t very funny,” Ignis replied simply, taking a drink of Ebony. Rue stood and blinked at him in silence, stunned by his sudden participation in a conversation that was anything but bland.

“That’s subjective,” she bit back, cocking her head to the side. “Maybe your sense of humor isn’t very funny.” Ignis hummed as his eyes turned back to his computer screen, though Rue didn’t miss the slightest twitch of a smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.

“I’ll have you ask Gladio to settle the debate on that one.”

“So only your best buddy can back you up on that one?” Rue teased, standing and heading to the door.

“Ask anyone.”

“I don’t want to get blank stares when people realize you  _have_ a sense of humor.”  _Oof, okay, maybe you got too into that one. Take it down a notch._

“Rue.”  _Shit_ _._ Rue paused, turning back just as her hand tightened around the doorknob. Ignis was interrupted by another sneeze that knocked his glasses down the bridge of his nose. “Bring tissues back.”

“Will do,” Rue nodded, breathing a sigh of relief as she left.

 _Didn’t ruin it… Good._ She was genuinely surprised that she’d left the office feeling lighter, happier. Every interaction up to that point had been stiff and stoic. Her knock on Prompto’s door was firm and rapid, as though excited nerves were causing her bones to rattle. The blonde opened the door himself, positively beaming with joy at seeing her face, which was surprising considering they’d hardly interacted  _at all_ since the week before.

“Rue! How’s it going?”

“Alright,” Rue shrugged uncomfortably, crossing her arms tightly. “How’re you?”

“Good, good,” Prompto smiled, tilting his head. His spiked hair fell to the side, not quite as glued down as usual. “How was your weekend?”

“It’s Wednesday.”

“Yeah, but how was it? What’d you do?”

“Went out with some friends and binge watched killer documentaries through the hangover,” she admitted with a shrug.

“Have you seen the one about the pizza guy?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty good.”

“Haven't seen it, but I’ll look into it.” He crossed his arms. “What did you need?”

“Ignis wanted me to ask if you needed help with anything.” Rue’s lips fought to conceal a smile. “Also to ask if he has a sense of humor.”

“He asked you to ask me that?” Prompto laughed uneasily.

“Kind of. He told me to ask Gladio but he scares me, so I’m asking you.”

“Okay,” he snickered, shaking his head. “Yeah, he can be funny, but it’s hard to catch. I’d say he’s more of the subtle-burn type.”

“Ugh, hate those,” Rue huffed. “Of course he is. Anyway, need any help? I’m for hire.”

“She sure as hell is.” Rue’s stomach sank and her eyes rolled like those of a rebelling teen’s as she turned to see Cam passing by with a stupid grin on his face. “Lookin’ good, Sweetheart.”

Rue didn’t reply, turning back to Prompto with her lips pursed and her hands rested on her hips.

“Please?”

“I don’t really have much to do on a daily basis,” Prompto shrugged, closing the door behind her and heading toward his desk, which was scuffed with the slightest marks of his shoes from where he’d likely kicked his feet up. “You can just hang out in here.” He sat on his desk and offered a grin. “Get to know each other.”

“Yeah…” Rue frowned, looking up and down his crowded shelves, which were piled with knick-knacks and photos from outside Insomnia’s walls. She generally found conversations about herself and who she was and is and will be to be uncomfortable. Luckily, Prompto was sensitive enough to pick up on that discomfort and kind enough to let boundaries lie. “How?”

“Talking?”

“Well, duh,” Rue scoffed, throwing him a dry look.

“Fine, how about this: where are you from?”

“Insomnia,” Rue sighed, plopping into one of the cushioned seats in front of him. “Born and raised here.”

“What part?”

“Back quarter,” she shrugged, slouching and looking up at him. “You know, where all the trashy poor people live. You?”

“Hey, that’s where I lived!” Prompto’s eyes lit up with genuine excitement and Rue couldn’t help but smile. “Well, sort of. I lived on the edge of that part of town, closer to the secondary school.” He grinned. “That means you went to the same school as me ‘n Noct!”

“Well…” Rue shook her head. “Not at the same time. You’re what, two years younger than me? I dropped out a year before I was supposed graduate.”

“What for?” he asked, obviously curious. Rue chewed on her cheek, feeling her face redden at her stupid, shameful decisions. No wonder her father pretended he didn’t have a daughter.

“A boy.”

“ _Oh,”_ Prompto teased, leaning forward. “Are you guys still together?”  _Oh, **gods.**_

“Absolutely  _not,”_ Rue snorted, uncomfortably crossing her arms.

“Oh, okay.” Prompto sat up. “Hmm… Got any pets?”

“Yeah, a cat,” Rue nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Her name’s Honey. I got her from some woman who was selling kittens on the side of the road.”

“Adorable,” he sang out. “I’ve always wanted a cat, or a dog, or really anything, but I don’t have time.”

“Why not?”

“Why not? I basically live here,” Prompto laughed, but he sounded sad. “Gotta keep up with the other guys, yeah?”

“I mean, if you don’t have as much work, why stay here as long?” Rue frowned. “You’re not paid by the hour, are you?”

“No, no,” Prompto shook his head. “I like it here. I get to be with Noct and the other guys all the time. I guess sometimes… I just hang around because I’m hoping they’ll want to see me, too.”

“Wow,” Rue huffed out an uneasy laugh, not entirely sure of how to handle his heavy confession. Prompto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get all depressed.”

“No, I get it.” Rue straightened, cocking her head to the side. “I have a few friends who got into the Glaive together. Yeah, I’m proud of them, sure, but at the same time, I feel like they’ll realize they don’t need me to have fun together. I think the only reason they invite me places is because they feel bad for me,” she admitted with a scoff.

“That guy Eren’s one of ‘em, right?”

“Yeah,” Rue frowned. “How’d you know that?’

“I saw him with you the other day,” Prompto shrugged.

“Yeah, he’s nice,” Rue muttered. “But he’s close with my friend Dex and his fiancé.”

“That’s cool.” Prompto sighed, falling backward until he was sprawled across the surface of his desk. “I dunno; I guess it’s hard when you’re in a group and everyone seems so much closer to each other.”

“Exactly.” Rue slumped again. “Didn’t have many friends growing up?”

“Nope,” Prompto shook his head. “Just Noct and that was once we got to secondary  _and_ I lost all the weight I gained as a kid.”

“Running, right? I think I heard Gladio mention it.”

“Yeah.” His words sounded scoffed as if he didn’t quite believe it himself. He rolled over to face her, propping his head up with his elbows. “I know we got all mushy real quick, but do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Go for it.”

“Do you ever… Find one little thing wrong and kind of obsess over it? To the point that it’s bad?”

“Yeah,” Rue nodded, watching a thoughtful look cross over his face as he ducked his head and traced the wood pattern of his desk with his finger.

“I think that’s what running was for me, at least toward the end. I hated the way I looked to the point that I wouldn’t talk to anyone because I was disgusted with myself and I thought other people saw me like that too.”  _Be honest._

“I get that,” Rue admitted, but that’s as far as she went.  _I can’t talk about this now._ Her blushing cheeks were enough to tell Prompto that she’d suffered a similar situation and his pestering inner voices hissed their “I told you so’s” in his ears.

“Sorry,” Prompto laughed awkwardly, sitting up and carefully running a hand over his styled hair to smooth any strays. Suddenly, an idea sparked. “Hey, you should come to dinner with us tomorrow night.”

“Us?” Rue frowned, already uneasy at the sound of a dinner invitation. She hardly knew any of the people Prompto did, and half of them hated her guts.

“Yeah! Every week Iggy, Rayne, Gladio, me, and sometimes Noct get together for dinner at someone’s place.” His eyes sparkled with the growing excitement at the prospect. “I think you should come!”

“Prompto, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Rue said nervously. “I’m pretty sure Rayne will shoot me on the doorstep.”

“Rayne? Forget about her. She acts all big and scary, but trust me, all you have to do is prove you’re not really the way she thinks you are and presto! You’ve got yourself a new friend.”  _I’m not exactly here to make friends._

“What ‘way’ does she think I am?” Rue asked, frowning. Prompto chewed his lip, taking a deep breath.  _Yeah, big mistake, pal._

“Um… Y’know, entitled, lazy, maybe a little oblivious—”

“For  _fuck_ _'s_ sake,” Rue huffed, falling back in her seat and staring up at the ceiling. “What do I have to do to prove I’m not a piece of shit? Be all cutesy like  _Axel?_ Kill me now.” Prompto wrestled with a smile.

“So, I’m not hearing a ‘no,’ am I? Good.” Before Rue could protest, he continued. “As your friend, I’m taking you to dinner in place of Noct. A little birdy told me you’re here to make a name for yourself and get into the Kingsglaive. So… Make a name for yourself! Hang out with the big guys! Before you know it, mistakes are forgiven and you’re none the worse for wear.” He snickered, crossing his arms. “Ignis used to say that a lot, at least until  _I_ started saying it. Funny, huh?”

Rue’s stomach was in knots, her face was red, and her palms were sweating, but she couldn’t help it; it didn’t sound like the worst idea in the world. Dinner with the higher-ups? And with a friend to back her up? Prompto knew her crimes against the King and he had no problem with her, Ignis was likely indifferent, and Gladio, even the  _Shield_ himself, was kinda, sorta on her side. 

“You know what?” Rue stood up, smoothed her shirt, and straightened her pencil skirt. “Sounds good to me. What time?”

“I’ll get you around five-thirty, yeah? By that, I mean rescue you from Ignis’s office and then we’ll head over to his place.”

“His place…?”

“Yeah. We went to Rayne and Gladio’s last time, but we rotate sometimes. Iggy’s still cooking, though, so prepare for death by satisfaction.” Rue closed her eyes and heaved a sigh. Dinner at her boss’s house with a group of people that generally disliked her or who wouldn’t defend her when those who disliked her went off.

“Okay. Five-thirty for Ignis’s place. Tomorrow. Got it. See you, Prompto.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

Rue’s mind was racing a thousand miles a minute as she headed toward the door, an eternal frown glued to her face. Her head was beginning to  _throb._ These people were so strange, so problematic, and yet, she found them all so incredibly interesting at the same time. If she wasn’t on Rayne’s bad side, maybe things would have been much easier, but Ignis hadn’t fired her just yet and it seemed she was making a friend in the youngest and cheeriest of the group. It wasn’t exactly the outcome she had in mind, but hey, it was something. A burning question stopped her in her tracks as she reached for the door.

“You wouldn’t happen to have any tissues by chance, would you?”

 


	14. Discomfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dance and Cry" by Mother Mother

Rue set a file of papers on Ignis's desk, which he was mysteriously absent from, likely attending some unnecessary meeting, and took the opportunity to head to the kitchen and brew a pot of coffee. As the steam puffed into the air and the small, silver appliance began to gurgle as it heated water. Rue leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms and studying the scuffed tips of the black heels she'd worn every single day for a week. There were no weekends with this job, and she knew that when she took it. It wasn't like she did anything but sat around alone on the weekends anyway.

"What's this? Nap time?"

Rue jerked her head up to see Eren heading into the kitchen with a mug in hand, a smile crossing his lips at startled her reaction. He leaned against the counter on the other side of the coffee machine, his eyes bright behind the thick frames of his glasses. Rue sighed, shaking her head.

"Nah, I am falling asleep though." She motioned toward the coffee pot that was slowly falling to her left. "Hence, this."

"Yeah, I was coming to make some. Guess you beat me to it."

"Too bad. I'm taking the whole pot," she replied in a deadpan voice. Eren's smile faltered.

"Wait, really?"

"No, dumbass," she snorted, grinning. He rolled his eyes and she laughed. "You actually believed me?"

"Well, yeah. Friends generally trust each other," he huffed. Rue rolled her eyes.

" _Okay._ Friends also mess with each other."

"Yeah?"

"Don't make that face, weirdo. It wasn't supposed to be weird."

"You're the one with poor wording."

Rue shook her head, willing the pot to fill faster. Not that she didn't want to spend more time Eren, but Ignis was really piling on the work and she had an itching feeling that it was because Prompto told him she was coming to dinner and the guy suddenly realized he needed to put her in her place. Or that it was simply a busy day, but she preferred an exciting conspiracy to a logical conclusion.

"Hey, so," Eren started. Rue felt her stomach grow heavy. She knew what he was going to ask, and she _hated_ saying no. It made her feel as though she was pushing this already fairly exclusive group of friends away and letting them get close enough to forget about her completely. "Dex and Relir want to see you again, and I want to go to that new noodle shop,  _so…_ " He let his words trail off, point, rather,  _offer,_ made. Rue heaved a sigh.

"You know, you have a way of asking me to join you guys that makes it sound like you don't care if I'm there or not."

"No, no," Eren rushed, startled. "That's not what I mean at all. Of course I want you there! I just figured it'd be less weird if I—"

"I'm  _kidding,"_ Rue interrupted, earning a huff. "And I'm sorry, but I can't make it. I already have dinner plans."

"So… you have a date?"

"What? No, not at all." Rue hurried to explain. "Prompto invited me to some weekly Crownsguard dinner and I couldn't exactly say no to spending time with the higher-ups, y'know?"

"Higher-ups? Prompto's practically a joke," Eren blurted. Rue frowned and his composure visibly crumbled. "Shit, I mean, it's really cool that you got invited and all, and I'm really happy for you, but I wouldn't exactly call him a, um, 'higher-up,' right?"

"Prompto's not a joke," Rue grumbled, grabbing the coffee pot and filling her mug. There was just enough for a full cup.

"That's not what I meant," Eren rushed. Rue scowled at him, picking up her cup and hurrying toward the door. "Rue, c'mon. I'm sorry."

"Are you?" she demanded, turning to face him. He nodded quickly, walking over to her.

"I swear I am. It just slipped out; I didn't mean it. I just…" He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I dunno, I was excited about getting to talk to you tonight. I feel like I never see you anymore."

"Then stop by the second floor," Rue replied dryly. "Text me every once in a while, how about that? Quit pretending I don't exist until you're around your  _besties?_ "

"Rue, what…?"

"Just—"

Rue shook her head, rushing out of the small kitchen and heading up the stairs. Her heart was racing and her body was trembling. She absolutely could not believe herself. He'd really done nothing wrong, and she'd  _never_ blown up like that for something so small.  _What's wrong with me?_ Part of her wanted to turn back and apologize as guilt twisted her gut, but shame fought back and forced her to face forward. The niggling feeling that she'd just destroyed a friendship begged her to pull out of her phone and text him, but pride held her head up high and clenched her trembling fingers into fists.

She headed straight to Prompto's office to rant and rave for a bit before turning tail to Ignis's office after receiving his text that demanded to know where she was and why these forms hadn't been organized yet. Five-thirty came long before she thought it would, and at that point, she was still sipping bitter, cold coffee from hours before.

"Guess what day it is!?"

Rue almost spat a mouthful of old coffee across Ignis's desk in disbelief as Rayne burst into the room, announcing herself in a sing-song voice. The second the woman saw her, however, her demeanor shifted defensively and she strode toward Ignis's desk, pushing his papers aside and plopping down like it was a throne just for her. Ignis watched his paperwork flutter to the ground in defeat, sighing and adjusting his glasses. Rue stared with wide eyes.

"Send your slave home so we can eat, Iggy."

"Slave?" Rue repeated with a frown.

"She's actually coming with," Prompto piped up from the doorway. Rayne frowned, immediately turning to receive the advisor's confirmation. His disheartened stare directed toward his assistant was all she needed to leap to her feet.

"No.  _No._ Absolutely  _not._ " She slammed her palms down on the desk, lowering her head to catch his eye. "Iggy, please, you're joking.  _Her?"_

"What about her?" Ignis frowned, pulling his face away from hers uncomfortably. "Prompto invited her."

"What?" Rayne whirled around to stare down her friend. Gladio strode in next, shooting her a stern look. Rue watched the scene play out with her mouth hanging open.  _They're an actual clown crew. What is happening?_

"Grow up, Rayne. She's coming."

"Grow up," Rayne snorted, trying to push past him. The burly man grabbed her wrist and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't cause problems. Prom wanted her to come because Noct can't leave again."

"Can't we smuggle him?" Rayne whined. Rue cringed.  _What?_

"Rayne," Gladio snapped. She rolled her eyes.

" _Gladio."_

"No problems."

"Nope." Rayne stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. Rue's eyes instinctively flickered over to Ignis, who was very purposefully buttoning his jacket to distract himself. "No problems."

"Okay." Gladio looked over her head to Rue. "You going with us or Iggy?"

"Iggy."

"Ignis."

Rayne and Rue made uncomfortably tense eye contact after speaking simultaneously, with one  _glaring_ and the other practically cowering into herself in her seat. Ignis breathed another sigh and the jingle of his car keys filled the silence.

"Alright, sounds like a plan," Prompto blurted cheerfully. Rue stood and pulled her heavy jacket on, turning to face Ignis with an uncertain expression. He squeezed his way between her and Rayne and left without a word. She took that as her signal to follow, being absolutely sure not to touch the fuming woman that was still looming beside her.

"Damn," Rue hissed, sucking in a deep breath. Prompto laughed nervously.

"Yeah… Sorry about that. I'm sure she'll lighten up tonight. Right, Iggy?"

"…" Ignis touched his glasses habitually and glanced over his shoulder to see if Gladio and Rayne were behind them. They were, in fact, still in Ignis's office. Rue frowned; he hadn't even waited to lock the door behind them. "Well, this should go one of two ways."

"And those are?" Rue prodded carefully, shoving her hands deep into the pockets of her baggy jacket.

"One, she drinks enough to calm herself down," Ignis sighed. Apparently, this was the more likely option. "Or she holds fast to her grudge and makes tonight unbearable for everyone involved."

"I like choice number one," Rue muttered, turning a corner she'd never turned before as Ignis led them to the parking garage. Somehow, it never crossed her mind that she'd be riding in a car.

"Don't we all?" Ignis replied under his breath, glancing at Prompto. The blonde hurried ahead to the heavy steel door at the end of the hall, shoving it open and grinning as Rue passed through.

"M'lady."

"Nice. Now all you need's a fedora," Rue teased.

"And some semblance of grace," Ignis added. Rue was surprised to find herself laughing.

"Hey!"

Ignis pressed a button on a small remote and a car's lights flared in the dark of the complex full of vehicles. Most had been revived since the absence of gas in the Darkness, though they were covered in dents and scrapes from the daemons. Prompto reached the car first, filled with the boundless energy of a child. He opened the back door for Rue, smiling as bright as before.

"Such a gentleman," Rue gushed, sliding into the backseat. She was enveloped in the scent of leather  _immediately;_ her nose crinkled.  _Where are they even making these things these days?_ Everything was black, sleek, spotless. Very  _Ignis._ The only thing that didn't seem especially high end was the cardboard case of Ebony cans that Rue picked up for him a few days before. It was already half empty.

"You like music?" Prompto asked, rocking the car as he flopped into the passenger seat. Ignis sat down with much less gusto and sniffed his stuffy nose before starting the car. The rumble of the engine was enough to tell Rue this was a  _pricey_ piece, not that she couldn't already see that.

"I guess," she shrugged.

"What do you listen to?"

"Really anything that sounds good."

"You know All Time High?" Prompto asked, crossing his fingers. Rue laughed, nodding.

"Yeah, I used to listen to them when I was younger."

"Why'd you stop?"

"I left my emo phase."

" _Okay."_ Prompto plugged in his phone as Ignis started to back out of his parking space. "They aren't just for  _emos._ "

A familiar tune blasted through the speakers. Ignis heaved a sigh and shot Prompto a look as his hand flew toward the volume dial and turned the music down. The blonde rolled his eyes, making a face at Rue in the rearview mirror before reaching to turn it back up. Ignis gritted his teeth, hitting Prompto's hand away and smoothly turning out of the parking complex.

"Prompto."

"What? Rue likes it."

"I need to concentrate."

"I'd prefer it a little quieter," Rue added, gripping the back of Prompto's seat as she became painfully aware that she wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Then again, neither was he.

"Are you feeling okay, dude?" Prompto asked, slumping back in his seat as his music continued to fill the gaps in the conversation. "You sound  _sick."_

"I'm fine," Ignis replied stiffly. Rue had to admit; the guy had looked better. His nose was red from all the tissues and his voice had an odd, congested sound to it. Even his eyes, which were surrounded by tight, gnarled scars, looked puffy. He definitely wasn't feeling his greatest.

"Doesn't he look sick, Rue?"

Rue awkwardly chewed on her lip in dead silence, pressured by the silence of the two men who waited expectantly in the front seat. She tucked her hair behind her ear and scooted closer to the window on her left, watching the streets she so often walked fly past.

"Maybe a little. Could it be allergies?"

"No," Prompto scoffed, turning onto his knees to face her. She watched him anxiously.  _Why's he not sitting down?_ "Ignis is perfect. He doesn't have  _allergies." He's far from perfect, buddy._ Rue had to resist the urge to laugh. The king's advisor was a run of the mill cranky, stuffy, picky, stick-up-his-ass jerk. She'd worked with a few in her lifetime, and his little "moments" of loosening up were not about to fool her. He was just like the rest.

"You never know; it's spring," Rue shrugged half-heartedly.

"I don't have allergies," Ignis spoke up after clearing his throat. Rue winced; he sounded awful.

"Sometimes people get 'em later in life, you never know."

"… Right," Prompto huffed, sitting back down and scrolling through the photos on his phone.

Rue pulled out her own phone and punched in her pin, quickly opening up her messenger app to type in a quick apology. She hit send after reading over the text a few times and slumped against the door. Suddenly, she noticed that they were slowing to a stop.  _Here already?_

"Ready, kiddo?" Prompto teased, hopping out.

"Kiddo," Rue repeated under her breath, letting herself out.

"So we took the kid out for food because he said he wanted to see us more," Rayne continued, flopping onto the black leather couch beside Prompto, who flinched. Rue awkwardly loomed in the background, glancing over at Gladio as he strode into the advisor's spotless home.

"And?" Prompto urged. A pot clattered against the stove in the kitchen. Everyone paused to look at Ignis, who appeared unfazed with his demanding stare.

"Yes?"

"Nothing," Rayne sighed. "Anyway, Signum pops out of nowhere and announces they're dating!" She shook her head, a look of disbelief crossing her face. "My brother's dating my son. What  _is_ that?"

_Incest. It's fucking incest._

"Axel's not your son," Gladio grumbled, shooting Rue a look.

"He might as well be!"

"No. Babysitting someone doesn't make 'em your kid."

" _Okay._ " Rayne sat up, turning to see Rue standing behind her and grimacing as if she'd forgotten the assistant was there to begin with. Her violet eyes turned back to Prompto. "What'd you do today?"

"Nothing much." Prompto perked up visibly, turning in his seat to face her fully and tucking his phone into his pocket. "Just some more boring paperwork and then I headed down to the new gym for a bit."

"Isn't it nice?" Gladio asked, crossing his arms. Prompto nodded eagerly.

"Oh, yeah! It's nice and big." He turned to Rue. "Have you been in there yet?"

"Why would she be in there?" Rayne butted in. "It's Crownsguard only."

"Since when? Since you decided you hate her?" Prompto demanded, his mood flipping like a switch. Rue felt her heart stop cold. "I think she should be able to use it since she works with us."

"She works with  _Iggy._ "

"And is, therefore, far less important," Ignis filled in, drying his hands on a rag. Everyone turned to look at the advisor. He raised a brow. "Is that what you're getting at?"

"That's not why—"

"I have no qualms about Rue using the gymnasium," he continued, looking to Prompto. "It might burn some of that restless energy."

"I'm restless?" Rue murmured. Ignis glanced at her before turning back to the stove.

"More than you'd believe even if I described your behaviors in great detail."

"Not a surprise," Rayne muttered, earning several irritated stares. "What?"


	15. Mistaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dark Side Of Your Room" by All Time Low

"Thanks for the ride," Rue muttered, unbuckling her seatbelt and tugging on the door handle. It moved easily, but the door itself wouldn't budge. Uncertainly, she looked over at Gladio, who stared at her apartment building in silence. He looked like he was turning a thought over and over in his head, something most weren't accustomed to seeing. "Um…"

"I wanted to say thank you," Gladio stated dully, finally meeting her curious gaze. His eyes were sharp enough to kill a man, and yet, they shined with enough genuine softness to keep her from immediately looking at her lap. "I dunno if you can even tell, but he's lightening up again."

"Ignis?"

"Yeah." He leaned forward against the steering wheel, crossing his arms over the top. His brows were furrowed. "Prom, too. He needs a friend, so thanks for that."

"Oh, it's really not a problem," Rue rushed, speaking earnestly. He shook his head, his long hair swaying across his shoulders.

"I wasn't expecting you to do him any favors, but he's happier since you came around." Rue wasn't sure what to say, but Gladio filled the silence for her with a sigh. "And I'm sorry about Rayne, too."

"Don't be."

"I have to be." His lips quirked into a slight smile. "It's my job. She gets shit done, and it's messy, but I gotta clean up after her." He shrugged, scratching his beard. "I gotta admit, I suck at the sappy shit, but I really am grateful."

"Uh, thanks, I guess," Rue stuttered, unsure how to reply. She'd just spent three hours watching four of the king's closest friends taunt and tease each other, saw Ignis genuinely  _laugh,_ felt welcome when Prompto sat by her and embarrassed when Rayne lectured him and gave him a rundown of all her faults. Where the hell had "sappy Gladio" come from in the midst of all that?

"I have another favor to ask."

"What is it?"

"I…" Gladio paused, frowning. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "No, never mind. I'll let you know when I need you, but it probably won't be for a while."

"… What?"

"Don't worry about it." Gladio fell back into his seat and unlocked the doors. "Have a good night."

"Thanks," Rue forced out, quickly exiting the car. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Rue headed upstairs to her apartment, where Honey bounded up to her legs and rubbed her face all over her left ankle, purring. Rue hardly noticed her, drained, and threw herself into bed almost immediately, mentally running over her evening. Rayne drank too much of everything Ignis had, which apparently was normal, and bounded around the house singing some song about her younger brother and his boyfriend, the very same obnoxious Axel she despised so much from training.

Ignis disappeared into his room for a bit, Rayne and Gladio watched as Prompto showed Rue his collection of photos from his journey with the king, explaining the stories behind some. When Ignis reappeared, he pulled Rue aside to inform her that she could come in whatever time she wanted to on Saturday after the Crownsguard left, just as long as her work was finished before she went home that evening. He looked  _horrible._ Rue sighed, switching off the lamp beside her bed and pulling the covers up to her chin. The night was a blur mixed with regret, surprise, and a touch of warmth from Prompto's eager friendliness. By the time she felt the least bit drowsy, her mind was racing again.

Before she could dissect her every life decision, her phone's screen lit up. Startled, she turned down the brightness and pulled her glasses on from where they rested on her bedside table.

"Text from Eren?" she murmured, resting her free hand on Honey's back from where the cat dozed on her other pillow. "The fuck…?" Her heart practically shattered into a thousand pieces.

_No need to say sorry, I was being a dick. Shouldn't have said that stuff about Prompto or gotten angry. I'm sorry._

"Well damn," she muttered, reading the message over and over again before quickly typing out a reply. "Maybe good guys do exist."

_It's alright, really. I shouldn't have gotten so defensive._

She shut her screen off and let the phone fall onto her stomach. It turned on as soon as all was still again. Smiling, she picked her phone back up and checked her texts.

_Man, we both suck._

_Yeah, well, that's why we're friends, I guess. Losers hang with losers._

_What's that say about Dex and Relir?_

She snorted, startling Honey. Whispering her apologies to the jumpy feline, she typed her response with one hand.

_They kinda suck too._

_Nah, only Relir._

_You're gross._

_I know. I'm sorry._

_Don't lie to me, asshole._

_Yeah, yeah._

She chewed on her cheek, trying to think of a response that might carry on her little moment of happiness for the day. Suddenly, another message popped up from Eren.

_Speaking of those two, we wanted to go out to that new place downtown tomorrow night (and I want you to come, I swear). You in?_

_Hell. Yes._

_Sweet. Goodnight, loser._

_I hope you have the worst nightmares tonight._

_Thanks. Loser._

Scoffing and rolling her eyes, Rue set her phone back down and bundled back up, unable to wipe the stupid grin off her face and drown the warm, fuzziness she felt through her entire body. It was nice to silence the voice of loneliness every once in a while. Rue squeezed her eyes shut. Yeah… Loneliness… that's all it was.

She took a deep breath, battling with her innermost thoughts. No, she couldn't think like that. Eren was her friend and that was the end of it. They'd hardly been friends long enough to call them close, and yet, that's what they were. They clicked; she got him and he got her. They didn't push each other to suffer, but to change. Anything else she felt was a mistake, a confusion, a leap. She was just telling herself things were more than they were. Nothing in the whole wide world could convince her to take a chance at destroying what they had.

With that, she forced her body to relax, drowned her bubbling witch's brew of thoughts with a catchy tune that was stuck in her head, and dozed off for a restless night's sleep.

Friday passed quickly. The blisters on Rue's heels had become callouses, the paper cuts hardly stung anymore, and the gloomy atmosphere of Ignis's tissue-piled office hardly fazed her. She saw Cam a grand total of zero times, Prompto was extra cheerful, and Relir dropped by the library to give her a coffee and ask how she was feeling about that night. Friday was a good day, and all too soon, Rue found herself squeezing behind Ignis to file away the stack of papers he'd given her that morning.

"I could have done that myself," Ignis muttered sourly, scooting his chair closer to his desk. Rue shook her head, tucking the back of her buttoned shirt into her skirt.

"I got it. Besides, you need to rest up before you leave tomorrow." As she headed around the front of the desk to grab her jacket, Ignis shot her an unamused look that she took as a silent lecture for her sympathy. "You said anytime Saturday works, right?"

"Correct," Ignis nodded, sniffing. The circles under his eyes had gotten darker, his nose and eyes were red, and his skin was paler than normal. Rue frowned, eyeing his appearance before shaking her head. The advisor would have a fit if she expressed her feelings of concern, so she pulled her jacket on and left with a wave.

The air was cool and crisp outside; spring was coming quicker than anyone had anticipated. The sun had already left the sky and gentle breezes rushed through the streets of Insomnia. Hundreds of people walked about the city around Rue as she headed home. It was nearly nine by the time she reached her apartment complex.  _Geeze, when's Ignis going home?_

"Shit," Rue grumbled after checking the time. Honey meowed from the kitchen counter; Rue scooped her up and held her tight as she hurried to her room to get ready. Just as she pecked the cat's head and set her down on the bed, her phone rang loud and clear from her jacket pocket. She picked up quickly. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Eren."

"… I know. What do you want?"

"Well, shit. Sorry." Eren laughed. "Listen, I'm in the neighborhood and impatient. Care if I come up and we can leave together?" Rue chewed on her lip; her heart fluttered so sharply that it  _hurt._

"Um, yeah, okay. I  _literally_ just got home, though, so I'm not even dressed yet."

"That's fine. I'll be a few minutes."

"See ya."

"Yeah."

She tossed her phone to the floor, flopped onto her back, and groaned  _loudly_ through the hands that covered her face.  _Another_ thing to stress her out. Quickly, she rolled to her feet and dove into her chocobo stable of a closet. Her clothes were all over the floor already; if she wasn't fazed by the mess as she checked sizes and tossed things to the ground, searching for  _something_ decent to wear to some shitty, sweaty club Relir wanted to drag them all to.

The knock on her door came when she was trying on her fourth shirt. Huffing, she followed Honey as she bounded to the front of the apartment, waiting at the door with an expectant look in her auburn eyes. Rue shook her head, muttering something about dogs, and pulled the door open. Eren stood there with a stupid grin and a bottle of tequila. Rue arched an eyebrow as his smile faded.

"Damn, you're dressed up."

"Not really." She turned on her heels and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Eren scoffed.

"So, no 'Come on in, Eren' or 'Hey, thanks for stopping by,' huh?"

"Pretty sure we're past that bullshit," Rue pointed out, nodding toward the bottle in his hand. "What's that for?"

"What do you think?" Eren raised an eyebrow. His smile was back. "Where're your shot glasses? Gotta warm up, y'know?"

"Yeah," Rue rolled her eyes when he wasn't looking, retrieving two small glasses. "Here."

"Thanks."

Rue set her water glass down and headed to the bathroom to look at her hair.  _Good enough._ When she came back, the shot glasses were filled. Eren leaned his hip against the counter and handed one to her, which she took carefully.  _Just had to fill it to the brim, didn't you?_  She clicked it against his and they both threw their heads back. Rue grimaced as they both set their glasses back down.

"No chasers?"

"Nah, who needs that?" Eren teased, though his eyes were genuinely apologetic.

"It's okay, I'm a big girl," she shrugged, though the burning, unpleasant taste of the alcohol was prominent on her tongue. She frowned as Eren started to pour two more shots. "Another?"

"Unless you don't want one." He paused, glancing up at her. "Figured you could take it."

"It's not that," Rue laughed. "I just don't know how much I want to drink tonight."

"Why not? You said you have work late tomorrow, didn't you?"

"Who told you?"

"Relir." Eren's eyes lit up with his grin. "Why's it matter? I think today's as good a day as any."

"To what, get plastered?"

"Again, why not," he shrugged, laughing when she smacked his chest. "So no more?" Rue's lips quirked into a smile and she crossed her arms, leaning against the counter.

"Fuck it; pour me another."

"That's the spirit!"

They took the second shot the same as the first and Rue instantly regretted it. Her stomach was on fire and she could feel a cold sweat breaking out across her forehead. Shrugging it off, she distracted Eren with Honey and headed to her room and find some shoes. She pulled on a pair of black heels, eyeing herself in the mirror.  _Y'know, that's not the worst._ It was there that she decided that night would be a night of objectively bad decisions.

"Wow, you grew," Eren commented as she strode into the living room. Rue paused to shoot him a look, though her heart melted when she saw that he was flattened on the floor with her purring cat rubbing her whiskered cheek against his. "Ready to go? Relir said they'd be getting there soon."

"Yeah, just about." Rue turned to the door, froze, and turned back. Eren stood, raising an eyebrow when he caught her staring thoughtfully.

"Yes?"

"Does this look okay?"

"Do a little spin for me." Rue obeyed and Eren chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, you look great, Rue."

"You sure?"

"Listen." Eren strode over to her, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. His eyes lowered to hers, though she could hardly see them through the glare on his glasses. Her breath caught in her throat uneasily; she  _hated_ when people towered over her like that. "Would I lie to you?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well…" He huffed, shaking his head and heading to the door. "Let's go. You look fine."

"Just fine?"

"Great, Rue. You look great." Rue arched an eyebrow, crossing her arms. Eren groaned, rubbing his face. "What more do you want from me? Dammit, Rue, you look hot as fuck. Is that satisfactory?" Rue could feel her face going red, but she grinned, slinging her enormous jacket over her shoulder and putting a bounce in her step as she strode past.

"Perfect."

Eren rolled his eyes and shut her door behind him, hurrying to catch up with her quick walk.

"Dude, slow down."

" _Dude,"_ Rue mocked, snickering at her lowered voice. Eren cracked a smile.

"You're already losing your shit and we haven't even gotten there yet."

"I have not," Rue snorted, ignoring the staring eyes of the other people that joined them in the elevator. "It's been, what, ten minutes? Not how it works."  _At least, I don't think it is._ She sighed.  _Shit_ _, I didn't eat anything._

"Maybe you're an exception."

"Probably not."

"Don't kill my fun."

They left and Eren locked his car as they hurried past and walked down the sidewalk. The air was chillier than before, but it wasn't unbearable by any means. Rue ducked her face behind her collar to shield her face from the sharp wind and Eren led the way to a plaza of shops and bars where, about halfway between a convenience store and a restaurant, there was a small location lit up with neon lights and bright colors. Shuddering, they had their IDs checked by the man at the door and hurried inside.

"Back table…" Eren muttered under the near-deafening music in the dark room. Already, Rue was uncomfortable, but she knew all she needed was some friends and liquid courage and she'd be just fine until morning.

"What?" Rue shouted. Eren shook his head, nearly losing her in a cluster of young women when he spotted something.

"They're over there," he pointed out, grabbing hold of her upper arm and speaking into her air. The warmth of his breath made her shudder. "You good?"

"Yeah."

Relir stood and waved her arms over her head as if she was drowning, standing and stumbling in a dress that looked far too tight to walk in. Dex watched anxiously from where he sat at a booth they'd taken over in the back.

"Hey!" Relir squealed, jerking them both into a crushing hug until all three of them were smashed together and they couldn't tell whose limbs were whose. "You came, Rue!" She took a wobbling step back. "Oh. My.  _Gods._ Look at you! You're gonna get a  _man_ tonight!"

"Uh, sure."

"C'mon, let's head back," Eren urged, nodding toward the table. Relir laughed, letting him take her arm and pull her back to her seat. She fell into the booth beside her fiancé, giggling when she crashed into him. Rue climbed into the other side, peeling her jacket off.

"How much has she had to drink?" she demanded, nodding toward Relir.

"I'm not sure," Dex frowned, tugging his head out of Relir's hands as she squished his cheeks.

"She's  _slurring,_ " Eren pointed out, his brows pinching together. "You've been here, what, fifteen minutes?"

"Think time'll stop me!?" Relir cried, laughing at his face. "Guys, chill, I'm  _kinda_ messing with you. Hey! You!" A worker that previously walked by stopped in his tracks and came back. Rue raised an eyebrow at his bare chest. "Another round!"

"Of what?" the man asked, clearly confused. Obviously, he hadn't brought them anything.

"I dunno, something strong." Relir turned and winked at Rue. "Gotta get this one moving."

" _Gods,"_ Rue groaned, rubbing her face. She was  _not_ in the mood for drunk Relir's dancing and selfies and Dex-climbing and bathroom trips, but this is what she signed up for. Eren glanced at her as the man bustled away. Relir narrowed her eyes, looking over Eren's face before lunging across the table and yanking his glasses off.

"Relir—"

"How well can you see right now?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Okay?"

"It's just fuzzy," Eren shrugged, watching her grin victoriously and shove the glasses into Dex's lap. He rolled his eyes, though he didn't seem irritated; he found her inebriated state almost endearing.

"Good. You look better that way."

"Gee, thanks."

"I think the glasses are cute," Rue protested. Eren scoffed, looking over at her as she cheeks flushed red. "I-I mean, there are girls who are into the nerdy look."

"Nerdy? I just need to  _see."_ He frowned, pointing an accusing finger at her. "And  _you_ wear glasses, too, because you're blind as  _shit_ _._ "

"Not in  _public."_

"Oh, so I'm nerdy because I wear glasses in public? What, do I just not get vision?"

"You just said you can see fine," Dex pointed out.

"Yeah, well…" Eren slumped in his seat, running a hand through his hair. He didn't say anything else until the server dropped off a round of shots for the table.

"Hell. Yes." Relir shimmied cheerfully, immediately downing her drink and wobbling to her feet. She tugged on the back of her dress to straighten it and grabbed Eren's wrist to drag him out of his seat. "C'mon, Rue, let's  _go!"_

"Shit," Rue sighed, throwing her head back, swallowing the bitter drink, and scooting out of the booth. "I'm coming, I guess." She was finally beginning to feel the effects of her earlier drinks with Eren and it wasn't entirely unwelcome.

The music was louder over where the crowd of sweaty drunken men and women were shouting and laughing and dancing all mashed together. A girl with long blonde hair sat on some man's shoulders, ranting about how she didn't like the obnoxious bass-heavy song that was playing. Relir dragged Rue straight into the middle and started going, throwing her arms in the air and screaming along to the lyrics like a crazed fangirl. Still too sober, Rue awkwardly bounced around to the beat, jostled by her friend.

Suddenly, someone's hands gripped her waist and pulled her back; a pair of lips pressed wet kisses to her neck. For half a second, the only possible attacker running through her head was Cam. She threw that idea clear out the window, prying herself away from the stranger (who wasn't too unattractive, but he was gross) and heading to the bar at the edge of the room, rubbing her temples. If  _Cam_ was still on her mind, she obviously hadn't had enough.

Rue made her way through  _several_  drinks (she forgot to count; she'd just kept handing money over without a second thought, honestly), humming along to some songs and laughing when strangers offered bits of nonsensical conversation with her, at least until Relir finally found her, face flushed and sweaty.

"There you are! Listen, I need to go pee."

"I'm coming," Rue nodded, chugging the rest of the contents in her glass before hopping off her chair to follow. She had to catch herself on the counter.  _Two reasons that was a poor decision: heels and alcohol._

But instead of blushing, she and Relir giggled about it all the way to the bathroom, where one locked herself in a stall and another leaned against the wet counter to look at her face. Her skin was red because of the heat, her hair was a little messy, and her clothes were beginning to stick to her, but she'd looked worse off before. Relir looked much rougher as she stumbled to the sink to wash her hands.

"Feeling alright?" Rue asked, standing as still as possible to enjoy the intriguing feeling of the ground slowly moving beneath her feet. There it was, that fun, fuzzy feeling that made her forget to care.

"Great!" Relir laughed, combing a hand through her cropped hair. "My feet hurt."

"Well, duh."

They laughed about that too, stumbling out of the bathroom together and hurrying back to the table. There were more familiar faces there to greet them. Axel and another glaive named Gracen were seated beside Eren and Dex, and all of them had equally flushed faces and slowed sentences to speak. Relir paused by the side of the table, eyeing a shot glass that still held alcohol before reaching to pick it up. Rue snatched it out of her hand and drank it in one swift motion, leaving Relir to gawk before cracking up again. Dex sighed, nudging Axel to let him know he needed to get out.

"No, no, it's fine," Relir waved him off. "How're you guy's doin'?" Eren hiccupped, only causing the girls to giggle some more.

"Good!" Axel grinned, refusing to budge. "What're you ladies up to?" Relir didn't answer, blinking at him in silence, and Rue was too busy watching people pass by with bleary vision to notice he'd even spoken. Relir took a sharp breath, turning back to Rue as if she'd struck a brilliant idea.

"Hey, you wanna go dance?"

"Sure?" Rue shrugged. Relir squealed excitedly and smacked Rue's ass when she turned to lead the way. "Hey!"

"Look at this lil booty!" she shouted, throwing an arm around Rue's shoulders. They laughed some more.

Rue was a bad enough dancer to be awkward, but drunk enough to not care that her "dancing" was basically a bizarre sway mixed with the occasional bounce on her toes. Every so often, she and Relir would scream the words to songs in each other's faces like drunken teens, laughing loudly afterward. Everything felt wonderful, passing in a slow blur.

"You're back."

Rue didn't protest the next time the same hands pulled her back into a warm body, reaching up to pull the stranger's head down enough that she could crane her neck and glue her lips to his in a sloppy kiss. She couldn't tell how much time passed before she decided she needed another drink and she wrestled her way free from his wandering hands to pay for another beverage.

"Having fun?" Rue looked up to see Eren looming to her left, having retrieved his glasses. She had a feeling his leaning against the counter wasn't entirely his choice.

"Yeah, I guess." The bartender dropped off the drink she'd ordered and she practically chugged it. "How 'bout you?"

"Yeah, I guess." Rue snickered, almost choking, and Eren chuckled. He jumped when a hand clapped down on his shoulder. Dex saluted to Rue and nodded toward Relir as she stumbled toward them, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm gonna get her home since it's getting late. See you guys around."

"See ya!" Rue waved to Relir, who blew her kiss and winked, gripping the hand that Dex offered her quickly. "They're so cute."

"Yeah…" Eren laughed when a girl fell to the floor and took her friend down with her. "This place is a shit show."

"Yeah," Rue laughed, unsteadily slipping to the floor from her seat. Eren took hold of her elbow with his hand.

"You good?"

"Yeah, dumbass, I'm good," she teased, propping her head up with her hand and turning to face him. "How're you?"

"Pretty good."

"… Maybe we should get home, too."

"Maybe."

Neither one of them moved. Rue tapped the edge of Eren's glass.

"You always drink straight vodka to top off the night?"

"Nah, just tonight, I guess." He picked up the glass and downed the rest, gritting his teeth and nodding toward the door. "Wanna go?"

"Duh."

"Let's go, then."

Eren straightened and started to lead the way only to stumble on a slope in the floor and nearly knock over a whole crowd of people who looked far too young to be there. Rue laughed, hurrying after him and looping her arm through his.

"Now we'll both fall!"

"That's just what I needed," Eren scoffed, reaching into the booth over Gracen, who smiled sleepily at them, and tossing Rue her jacket. It landed on top of her head. Laughing, she pulled it on and tugged on Eren's arm.

"Let's go!"

"I'm coming."

"Have a good night, guys!" Axel called, waving. Rue ignored him and so Eren followed suit. That, or he honestly didn't hear the guy.

"It's  _cold!"_ Rue cried, shuddering. Eren paused to start tugging off his coat. "No! Don't be that stupid cliché."

"Damn, okay," he huffed. Still, Rue was cold, and being the man he was with the feelings he possessed, he threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to share his body heat. Together they wobbled their way back to the apartment complex, where Eren insisted he could walk Rue to her door.

"Okay," she shrugged, and they oh-so-gracefully dragged each other to the elevator and down the hallway to her apartment door. She fiddled with her keys clumsily, trying to jam them into the keyhole this way and that. Finally, she got them and turned. The door clicked, but it wouldn't budge.

"Oh!" Eren hit his forehead. "You didn't lock it."

"Shit, you're right." Rue unlocked the door again and pulled the keys free only for them to slip through her grasp to the floor.

Huffing, she quickly bent down to get them, only to smack her face on the doorknob and lose all balance, collapsing onto her back with hysterical laughter bubbling in her chest. She wasn't sure why it was so funny. Grinning, Eren reached down to help her up. She pulled a little too hard, and when she came flying to her feet, she knocked Eren off balance, and if his back hadn't hit the wall between the doors, they probably would have fallen again.

"You're a mess."

"Don't even start," Rue protested, smoothing his shirt over his chest.

He was so close, and even after the evening they'd had, he smelled  _good_. She looked up at him curiously. Eren wasn't like the others. His eyes were bright and lively, his laugh was  _real_ and hearty, and even at that moment, his smile was there to center her back on reality. She was happy, and this would make her even happier. It only felt natural. It only felt  _right._ And so, she stood up on her toes and pressed her lips to his, clutching the material of his shirt tightly in her hands. And he kissed her back. Her fingers loosened and crawled up his stomach beneath his shirt as his found her waist. She laughed to herself, pull away just long enough to speak before Eren pulled her in again.

"Those weren't there before."

What followed was a natural progression. Rue fumbled with her doorknob, trying not to break away but also trying to let them both into her home. Finally, Eren reached around her and twisted it open enough for them to stumble inside. He slammed it shut behind them. Rue kicked the high heels off her aching feet, and, as if he'd done this a thousand times, Eren gripped the back of her legs and hoisted her into the air. Her legs wrapped around his waist to hold her body in place and she ran her hands through his short hair, pulling his face upward to meet hers.

Clothing became a breadcrumb trail throughout her apartment. Eren's hands wandered across any and all skin he could find, leaving rippling, burning sensations all across her body like wildfire amongst a forest of dry brush. Somehow, they stumbled their way through the dark and into the bedroom without any hesitation, slamming the door behind them to leave their cares, their lives, and Honey outside. There was nothing more that they wanted at that moment than to be together with no stresses, burdens, or responsibilities, and that was what they were granted.


	16. Dreamers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Broken Girls" by Gabbie Hanna

It was the alarming realization that normally she was up by now that startled Rue awake in the morning. Her heart hammered in her chest was the alarming realization that normally she was up by now that startled Rue awake in the morning. Her heart hammered in her chest and reached to throw the covers off in a blind panic when reason caught her by the collar. She sighed, rubbing her face and trying to fend off her throbbing headache.  _It’s Saturday, dipshit. **The** Saturday. _Out of habit, she slouched back down under the covers and reached for her glasses on her nightstand blindly. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and slid the glasses onto her face, blinking her eyes open only to squeeze them shut again, startled.  _These are **not** mine._

Sighing, Rue put them back on the wooden stand quietly and glanced to her left, where Eren was curled up on his side, breathing softly and slowly. He wasn’t the type to look frustrated or stressed when he was awake, so the gentle look on his face wasn’t anything to marvel at, but there was something captivating about watching a person sleep so soundly.  _I left my contacts in._ Rue shook her head, carefully slipping out of bed to head to the bathroom. Her steps were silent, her door didn’t creak, and her lungs didn’t take in any air until she was safely outside the room. She checked her phone; it was only seven.

Carefully, she removed her contacts and washed her face before slipping on her own glasses, which were much rounder and thicker than Eren’s because she was  _actually_ blind, and heading to the kitchen. She gathered two glasses of water and a bottle of pain killers before heading back to the room, ignoring Honey’s quiet mewls. The warm, golden light of the rising sun poured in through her drab gray curtains, a sight she rarely took the time to appreciate anymore. As quietly as she could, she set a glass and a few pills on the stand on the other side of the bed and took a few for her dull headache before crawling back under the covers and squeezing her eyes shut.

It was so warm, so soft, so comforting beneath the heavy blankets on her bed; it was even better to know she wasn’t alone even if, in the recesses of her mind, she knew this would have to end and they’d have to talk just to make the likely decision to pretend this never happened. She took a deep breath, relaxing her tense muscles. This was how friendships fell apart. This could be the end for them. This wasn’t like the other men; they were strangers. It was for the best that she, no matter what Eren said, fought for a lasting relationship, a friendship, rather than some hot ‘n heavy bullshit romance.

“Where’d you go?” Eren mumbled, throwing an arm over her stomach and snuggling closer to her side. She bit her tongue. But _goddamn_  did he make it hard.

“Just got some water. I didn’t mean to wake you,” she replied softly, turning over to face him. His eyes peeked open when she shifted.

“No biggie.” He yawned, cracking a gentle smile. “You sleep with those on?”

“Huh?” Rue touched the thick frames that were pressed to her face. “Oh, shit. I forgot I wore them to find my way around.”

“Find your way…” he repeated, chuckling and pulling the covers up over his bare shoulder. The light changed his hazel eyes to a rainbow of distinct streaks of color; some green here, some brown there, a touch of gold in one but not the other… Rue pressed her lips together, dreading what was to come more the longer she stayed where she was.

“Don’t you have to get to the Citadel?” she asked, shuddering when his cool fingers traced over her side. He shook his head.

“No. Rayne assigned the people she wants there while she’s gone, and Cam’ll call us individually if we’re needed. All she wants is for us to do what we feel’s best, whether that’s training or resting.” He cracked a smile, his eyes shining brightly. “I think you know what my intentions are.”

“I doubt you’d feel great training anyway,” Rue shrugged. “Not that you need it.” Eren laughed.

“The glaive’s not all about having big, showy muscles, Rue.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Gets me the ladies,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows. She laughed, though she turned her eyes away as her heart sank. “Hey, I’m just kidding.”

“I know.”

Frowning, Eren grew still and silent. She could tell he was thinking and she knew was it was about.  _Shit_ _, what did I do?_ His hand retracted and he sat up slowly, letting the blankets pool around his waist. The tension between them was heavier than anything they’d ever carried alone; Rue felt like she was suffocating. His words almost broke her into pieces.

“Do you regret what happened?” Eren asked carefully, facing away from her. Rue sat up quickly, thinking of any way to comfort him as he struggled to piece together his thoughts. “I…” He sighed shaking his head.

“I don’t think so,” Rue admitted, unsure of how to handle the situation. Eren was the type of person whose thoughts thickenedthe atmosphere. It was clear there was something burdening his mind.

“Do you… think I took advantage of you?”

Rue almost choked, quickly reaching out and taking hold of his arm. He tensed uneasily, staring hard at the bland covers.

“No, absolutely not, Eren.” Tucking her hair behind her ear, she leaned forward until she could see his face. “Don’t think like that. I was fully aware of what was happening the whole time; I  _easily_ could have... Y'know.” He didn’t say anything. “Eren?”

“Okay,” he nodded, finally meeting her pitiful gaze. A weary smile tugged at the corners of his mouth before carefully, ever so tentatively, he leaned over to place a gentle kiss on her lips. His hand combed through her short hair smoothly as he pulled away, though his eyes were overcome with a look of dread. “So… you wanna talk about this?”

“Kind of, but not really.”

“Then let’s wait.” He threw back the covers and Rue averted her eyes, crinkled her nose.

“Dude, you slept naked in  _my_ bed?”

“Yeah, well…” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I kinda just passed out last night, so I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“Whatever,” she huffed, lunging across the bed to hand him his glasses. He took them gratefully as he pulled his clothing on.

“You have any food in your fridge?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Rue admitted, watching the rippling muscles under his skin as he combed through his messy head of hair. In an instant, he’d one-eightied from a male model to just plain old boring Eren, and somehow, that put her back at ease.

“I’ll go check and see, then.”

Rue watched him leave in silence, his words still ringing in her head.  _Then let’s wait._ Wait for what, exactly? Her nerves to go haywire until she broke down and either had a panic attack or suffered from cardiac arrest? Or  _both?_ Huffing, she got up and pulled on a pair of pajama pants to go with her enormously baggy shirt and shuffled out of her room. Honey was on the breakfast bar, patiently watching Eren with sharp, wide eyes as he pulled things out of the fridge.

“Half of this stuff is expired,” he called from where his head was buried inside the appliance. “ _But,_ if you want, I can make eggs and toast and we can watch another episode of that show we started forever ago.”

“Sounds good,” Rue nodded, hugging her arms to her body. She didn’t feel the worst she’d ever felt (she was surprised she wasn’t sick), but she definitely needed a cup of coffee  _stat._ Eren looked up at her as she wandered into the kitchen silently.

“Everything okay?” The look on his face told her he was dreading the pretending, too.

“Yeah.”

Without another word, she started to brew a pot of coffee as Eren began to cook breakfast, searching through her cupboards for pans and utensils. Uncomfortably aware of his presence, she stood with her back to the counter, counting down the seconds to when she could pour a cup and scoot on out of there. Eren, a lover of peace and a worshipper of serenity, finally huffed a sigh and set the fork he was using to scramble eggs down. He turned to her with his arms crossed.

“You want to talk now, don’t you?”

“… I have a lot to say.”

“Shoot.”

“Okay…” Rue’s stomach churned. She’d never had to do this before. “Where do we, uh, go from here? Because, I mean…” She took a deep breath, staring hard at her cat. “I value your friendship, maybe too much, and I’m scared that it’ll all go away. So, I guess I just want to know what we do now. Just pretend it never happened and move on with our lives?”

“… Is that what you want?”

“What?” She looked up at him, frowning. He shrugged.

“Is that what you want? For us to pretend nothing ever happened and to go back to the way it was before?”

“I…” Rue stopped herself. She wasn’t sure what she wanted. He shook his head.

“Now  _I_  have a lot to say.”

“Go ahead, I guess.”

“I’ll give you a picture of what it was like before, from my point of view.” He turned to push the eggs around the pan and lower the stove’s heat, speaking over the sizzling. “First day of training with the glaives, I see this skinny little girl come into the gym and sign up with more confidence than anyone expected her to. I think this’ll probably kill her and she’ll leave after two days, but I also can’t help but notice how  _pretty_ she is.” He paused to plate the food and his brows twitched lower. Rue sighed.

“But she didn’t leave.”

“No, she didn’t. In fact, day three, she kicked my ass.” He laughed, setting the pan aside. “I should’ve been pissed, motivated to plot my revenge for the next time we sparred, but I didn’t. All I remembered was that look of determination in her eyes, and let me tell you, if looks could kill, I’d be a dead man.” He finally faced her again. “So, this girl, even though she’s smarter and stronger and braver than I ever will be, doesn’t make the cut, but she goes on to save  _several_ important lives as we get closer and closer.”

“I doubt that,” Rue murmured, feeling her cheeks flush.

“And this whole time, between when she got her guard job to the time she got her current job, we spent a lot of time together. I realized she was  _way_ out of my league, and I thought she knew it when Relir pushed her to find a guy. I thought they knew how I felt and that they were purposely trying to remove me from the picture.”

“You can just say it’s me now.” Rue’s voice was hardly over a whisper. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her fingers were trembling.  _All this time…_

“You were so busy with the new job that I started to see you less and less, and so I’d invite you places more and more.” Eren sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not going to lie to you; I fell  _hard,_ and it hurt to see you trapping yourself in that self-hatred again.” Rue stared at the floor. “And when I made you upset the other day…” He laughed bitterly, shrugging his shoulders limply like a man who’d given up all hope. “I wanted to throw myself out a window on the top floor. I didn’t mean a word I said; I’d lashed out because I missed you and your wit and your pretty face.

“I don’t know how to say it without sounding weird or creepy, but last night… that was a  _dream_ for me.” He awkwardly shoved his hands into his pockets. “Not because, y’know, but because it was you and you were there and  _you_  kissed  _me_  and… I never thought I’d have that chance.” He forced a laugh. “So, yeah, there’s my spiel.”

“… Damn.” Rue watched him shift his weight uncomfortably as he awaited her reply. “I… had no idea. I don’t know what to say.” She dared herself the question that was at the tip of her tongue. “What do  _you_  want to happen?”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Instead of pretending.”

“I…” Eren choked out a short, anxious laugh. “It sounds kinda stupid and selfish, I guess, but… I want to give us a shot. Maybe…” He looked up at her sharply. “A-and I know you don’t feel the same about me, I get that, but maybe if we just give this a chance, it can work.”

“But… what if it doesn’t?” Rue asked, almost choking on the words as the possibility crossed her mind. “What if it’s a horrible mistake? I don’t want to lose you altogether.”

“You won’t,” he reassured her, stepping closer and resting a hand on her shoulder. “I swear to the gods you won’t. It might not be the same after, but you’ll always have me, I promise.”

“…”

It felt as though someone was stabbing her in the chest with every beat of her heart, someone else was crushing her lungs to prevent her from taking in air, and someone  _else_ had glued her feet to the floor. The idea was enticing… But she was skeptical, and not in a cold way. She was  _afraid_ of losing his friendship forever, but if this was their shot at something beautiful… Perhaps the fact that she was so afraid was a good sign. The events of the night before played through her head, reminding her of every meaningful look, word, touch. Everything was so much more than she realized, and she almost took it for granted. She could chase what if’s all day, but she had come to her uncertain conclusion.

“Okay.” She looked up to meet his stunned stare. “Okay, we’ll do it. We’ll try.”

“Wait, really?”

“Did you expect me to say no?”

“Well, yeah!” Eren laughed, relieved, and pulled her into a tight hug. “Just… let me know if it’s ever too much, yeah?”

“Of course.”

“Now, your food’s getting cold,” he stated, stepping away to grab the plates.

“I’m not the one who couldn’t shut up.”

“Ha-ha,” he snorted, handing her breakfast over. “Where’d we leave off on that show, anyway?”

~|~|~|~|~

Ignis couldn’t breathe. His nose was stuffed, his sinuses were congested, and he hadn’t been able to keep food down for four days. And yet, his car was packed full of the things he, Noctis, and Prompto would likely need for their venture outside the city walls. All he needed was to head upstairs to grab a few documents and make sure he left the office key for Rue.

The advisor strode in through the garage door. Though his body was aching and sore and his eyes were hardly able to focus on the way before him, he squared his shoulders and headed down the hallway. The lights were dimmed as they usually were so early in the morning—it was only five—and so he’d hardly expected to see Rayne stepping out of Gladio’s office with his worn leather jacket thrown over her glaive uniform. Upon hearing him approach, she looked up, turning the key in the lock to the door. Her brows furrowed.

“Iggy, are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ignis replied roughly, though his throat was raw from coughing and the stuffiness added an odd edge to his voice. “Are you and Gladio ready to leave?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, following him to his office. Her eyes were narrowed thoughtfully and her hands were jammed deep into the pockets of her lover’s coat. There was obviously something on her mind. “Cor’s coming with us too, right?”

“Yes.” Ignis rifled through his draws and set out a stack of papers that Cam had dropped off the evening before. New guards and all that—the data entry would be easy enough for his assistant. There wasn’t much else for her to do, for once. “Have the glaives been informed of their assignments?”

“Told ‘em about two days ago,” she shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. “How do you think Noct’s going to take all this?”

“If all goes according to plan, the worse he’ll suffer is unrelenting pensiveness.” Ignis shuddered as goosebumps raised across his skin. He gritted his teeth and fought the shivers to avoid attention; he was desperately needed in times like these. There was no room for recovery. “If not, he’ll worry until we find a new option.”

“So the usual.” He could hear her hesitant footsteps behind him, the quiet sound of her boots thumping against the smooth floor. “Ignis—”

“Where is Cam stationed?”

“Outside.”

“Good.” Ignis sighed, turning to face Rayne and pushing his sliding glasses up. “I want him kept a good distance from Rue.” Rayne raised an eyebrow, but said no more on the subject, instead reaching a pale hand toward his face.

“Ignis, you look like shit.”

“I’m quite alright,” Ignis replied sharply, trying to pull away from her touch. Irritation flared in her eyes and she pushed forward, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead.

 _“Damn,_ Iggy, you’re burning up!” She crossed her arms, her expression contorting to one of worry. “Are you sure you’re okay to travel? You're looking rough.”

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured her, only to be greeted with a skeptical stare. He knew she was only looking out for his health, but at times like this, his health hardly mattered more than the wellbeing of a flea.

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Last night.” He was lying through his teeth.

“And you kept it down.”

“Of course.”

“How long’ve you felt like this?”

“Since last week; it’s lightening up now.”

“Is it?” The jiggle of Rayne’s keys greeted his ears when she pulled them out of her pocket. Both her face and her voice were void of emotion. “What do you think it is?”

“A fleeting virus, likely.”

“Mhm,” she hummed absently. Her lips pressed together into a thin smile and she jerked her head toward the door. “Come with me.” Confused, Ignis obeyed, setting his key on his desk and hurrying to catch up to her quick stride.

“Where are we going?”

“My car.”

“Do you need help loading your things?”

“Yes,” Rayne admitted, combing a hand through her long, fair hair and winding the pale strands between her fingers. They’d been walking so quickly that they’d already reached the garage door. Ignis was out of breath and his heart was pumping harder than it had in a long time. She paused after turning the doorknob. “But that’s not what I need you for.”

“What then?”

She didn’t answer for a moment, leading the way toward her dark car, which was packed tightly with suitcases and files and boxes. Ignis froze once she unlocked the doors with the remote on her key.

“Rayne, where are we going?”

“Ignis,” Rayne huffed, turning to face him stubbornly. “We grew up in this place together. I can tell when you’re lying, and I can  _especially_ tell when you’re lying because you think Noct needs you.” Ignis scowled. “You’re sick as hell; the last thing you need is more stress and fighting and action. So, I’m taking you back home.”

“I’m not going home.” His words sounded as though they were snarled through a wild animal’s teeth. After all this, he refused to leave Noctis to fend for himself. Who was to be the voice of reason in a crowd of bloodthirsty, violence-oriented warriors? Who would show him all the perspectives and explain every point of view? There was no other option.

“No, you are,” Rayne replied sharply. “I’ve watched you work yourself to the bone for two years, Ignis. It’s time you took a rest to recover from whatever the  _disease_ this is.”

“I told you I’m—”

“And I told you I know when you’re lying.” She crossed her arms, cocking her head to the side. “I  _also_ know when you’re trying to reason out a situation to force me into letting you have your way. No more. We’re not in your way this time.” An ounce of guilt jabbed at his heart.

“You can’t make me get in.”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow, daring him to question her. “I could get Gladio. Might serve you right to be slung over the big guy’s shoulder and manhandled for a bit.” Ignis distinctly remembered the time Gladio did the same to her in their first argument after they’d witnessed the destruction of Insomnia. Something to do with family affairs and whatnot. He frowned.

“I need to go, Rayne.”

“But you really don’t,” she insisted, jerking her head toward the car. “Get in. Cor’ll keep him steady, don’t worry.”

“Cor…” Ignis grumbled through gritted teeth, left with little choice but to obey. Gladio would  _gladly_ toss him around, and Rayne wasn’t one to make petty threats. The woman was  _known_ for keeping her word when it came to demands and consequences, for heaven’s sake. Shoulders slumped in defeat, Ignis fell into the passenger seat weakly and closed his eyes to take in a shuddering breath.

“Here we go,” Rayne muttered, starting the car and hitting the gas a touch too hard as they headed out of the garage. Ignis frowned, watching her drive. For a person who constantly got such horrible motion sickness, she drove like a maniac.

The ride was short and choppy with her stopping and going, speeding and slowing. Ignis stumbled out of the car dizzily, trying his hardest to focus his vision and walk steadily. They headed inside slowly, taking their time. Rayne was patient as he fumbled for his keys with shaking fingers, something most would find alarming. She was ginger when she took hold of his arm and pulled him toward his bedroom. Her voice was soft when she told him to change into something comfortable and get back into bed. Her entire being was overwhelmed with understanding as she flashed him a final, apologetic smile, and left his home altogether.

Sighing, Ignis fell back on his bed, feeling the world turn round beneath him. All that work, all that catching up and pushing for dates and appointments… all that to wind up here, in bed lazing around while his king fought to unite his people once and for all. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was pale skin, pale hair, pale eyes. A soft smile, a gentle touch, a gentle voice. Even in her abrasive nature, she was an angel.

He scoffed, rubbing his face and forcing himself to sit up to take his shoes off. He needed to stop thinking like that. She belonged to someone else, she was happy, and that was all that mattered. There were no two ways about it. If anything was to be his next move in this dangerous game of life, letting go of Rayne Callen was likely the smartest move.

 


	17. Caretaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Always Wrong" by Eisley

Rue hurried into the Citadel briskly, nearly hitting her face on the door on her way in because of how quickly she pulled it open. She'd told herself she was coming in at noon, and she'd actually stuck to it, but some pressure in her chest told her she was late—that Ignis would give her that  _look_ even though he wasn't there to do so. And so, fully knowing that the thoughts were irrational, she took the stairs two at a time to reach his office as swiftly as possible. She wanted to prove she was right.

So when she saw Rayne stepping out of her office with a backpack slung over her shoulder, she froze up.  _They're still here?_ Rayne hadn't seen her yet; she still had time to make her escape. Still, she wanted to know why they hadn't left for their trip yet. Was she the only one left, or had they canceled? It sounded important whatever it was.

"Hey," Rue greeted, trying to force her voice to sound cheery. She sounded as though someone was holding a gun to her head. Rayne turned to leave, raising an eyebrow silently. Her eyes were sharp and cold, and her stance practically dripped with impatience. "So, uh, you guys haven't left yet?"

"Did Ignis not tell you?"

"No?"

"For fuck's sake," she huffed, shifting the weight of the backpack higher. "We're leaving late because of Noctis and a few changed plans, but Ignis is staying behind."

"Why?"

"Haven't you been around the guy all week? He's sick as hell. He hasn't eaten in days, he can't breathe, and his temp's so high you could probably cook breakfast on his forehead." Rayne started to leave but Rue had one last question for her.

"Where is he now?"

"Home," Rayne called over her shoulder.

Rue frowned, wandering toward Ignis's office. It was dark and lifeless, something she wasn't used to seeing. He was always seated at the desk, and even when he wasn't, every single light was on, the windows were open, and the occasional drawer was ajar. Rue walked over to the desk and brushed her hand over the surface of the pages he'd left out for her. Quickly, she slid the key beside them onto the ring with her apartment key. Nervously, she slowly sat in his seat, suddenly overwhelmed by the difference this angle made. She felt so in power, so cold and calculating. And the chair was  _not_ comfortable. No wonder he was so cranky all the time—his bony ass was probably sore.

"Let's see..." she murmured, rifling through the pages.  _Just data entry?_ She frowned. It seemed too easy. Good thing she wasn't paid by the hour.

Sighing, she turned to turn his computer on. The screen flickered on with a request for a password. Rue groaned; she really didn't want to go all the way to the library to have the same two people stare at her and watch her every move. She tried every password she could come up with, including ChefDaddy, ilovenoctis, and Advisor0207. She'd seen his birthday somewhere, though she wasn't entirely sure where and figured she'd give it a shot. Ignis didn't strike her as  _that_ type of person, though, and it got her no closer to staying where she was.

With a huff, she scooped up the papers and headed to the library. Punching in ages, heights, names, birthplaces, you name it—it all took her the grand total of an hour. It might have taken her less time had she not skipped a line and returned to fix it. Rue stood and pushed her chair in before meandering. There were only five people missing from the Citadel that she knew of, and yet, it felt so empty. Shaking her head, she returned to the office and tucked the papers away.  _What to do now..._ An idea struck her.

"So sick he can't function?" she muttered, running a hand through her hair.

She uneasily toyed with the thought as she started to leave. What if she brought him some things to help speed up the recovery? Some medications, cleaners, maybe even some Ebony, though she was positive he already had plenty around his house. Still, it wouldn't hurt to have extra stock. Her first paycheck was  _much_ larger than she'd anticipated; she earned more money in two weeks than she ever would have in a month at her guard duty job.  _I guess that's just what happens when you work so closely with such important people._

Rue stepped out into the street and opened the maps app on her phone, scrolling through the records of places she'd been the past week or so. Ignis's address was right where she expected it to be.  _A thirty-minute walk? Not the worst._ First things first, though, she headed to a small grocery store to pick up the things she needed. The paper bag was heavy, but she hugged it to her chest and walked quickly. It was about to rain, and she had nothing but her big, old denim jacket on.

When she finally reached the door, she began to question if she should have even come.  _Will he be pissed if I'm here?_ Probably. She hesitated to knock, wondering if she should just leave the stuff on his doorstep and text him. Determined to fight her anxieties, she shook her head firmly. No, she was going to do this. She was a personal assistant, after all, not some stupid secretary. She was allowed to be in his home bubble—hopefully.

Rue knocked three times, and no one answered. And so, fighting her instincts to run off, she twisted the doorknob—it was unlocked—and let herself in. Carefully, she crept into the familiar space of his home, kicking off her heels before stepping on the carpet, and peeking around the corner of the entryway to see if he was on the couch. The coast was clear. So, she followed her instincts and slowly began to walk toward his bedroom.

"Ignis?" she called, her heart pounding. No answer. " _Ignis?"_

"What are you doing in here?"

She almost jumped out of her skin. Turning sharply, she saw Ignis standing in the kitchen, slouched against the counter as he sipped a glass of water. Instantly, she regretted coming.

"I, um, brought you some stuff to help you feel better."

Ignis arched an eyebrow and Rue looked over his haggard features. He was in his usual clothes that he wore to work, but they were crumpled and wrinkled as though he'd slept in them. His nose was raw from the number of tissues he'd used and his eyes were red and watery. His skin was ghastly pale and his hands trembled as he set his glass down. Rayne was right; he did look like garbage. Rue swallowed hard as he touched his glasses, a sure sign he was about to speak.

"I don't need them."

"Well, it couldn't hurt to—"

"But since you've already brought them by, you may leave them and then let yourself out." His words were sharp and ice-cold, devoid of any and all emotion other than the edge of anger. Rue refused to let herself be shaken. She was, after all, trying to be bolder. And so, irritated, she headed toward him and set the bag down on the counter before turning to face him with her hands planted on her hips.

"Excuse  _me,_ but I didn't walk all the way out here just to walk back again." She nodded toward the door. "The sky's about to open up and I don't want to wind up like you." Ignis looked unfazed, but the slightest bit of  _something_ shifted in his puffy eyes and he sighed.

"You walked?"

"Of course," Rue continued, crossing her arms. "And why are you out of bed? You look like you're knocking on death's door _._ "

"Perhaps I am," he muttered, though he didn't bother to return to his room. "Why are you here?"

"Because," Rue shrugged. "What kind of personal assistant am I if I don't personally assist you?"

"Yes, but you're not my caretaker."

"Actually, I kind of am. Who else will take care of you?"

"Me."

"Yeah, well, you're doing a terrible job," she snapped, glancing in the direction of his room. "Now back to bed, and if there's anything you need, let me know. I'll be there in a sec."

"I don't need you to—"

"You're not changing my mind," Rue interrupted.

If Ignis hadn't felt so awful, she was positive he would have fired her right then and there. But instead of chewing her out, he took a slow, stuffy breath and hobbled back to his room. Rue couldn't believe it. She'd actually just told her boss off for getting annoyed with her when she elbowed her way into his home and invaded his life. Oh well; there was nothing she could do about it now other than pray that she didn't permanently offend him.

Shrugging, she got to work, seeking out a pot for making tea. Finding it quickly, she quickly started to boil water. She located a mug easily and put a tea bag inside before digging through her bag to find the decongestant she bought. Impatiently, she pulled out her phone and texted Eren to catch him up on the situation. She told him he could stay as long as he liked and that she would be back soon. That didn't look much like the case anymore.

_That's fine, I'll just head to the training room for a bit and grab some clothes from my place._

_You're staying again?_

_I mean, I didn't think you'd mind. If not, that's alright, too._

_No, go ahead. I don't mind, I just wasn't expecting you to stay._

_Well, you can always kick me out ;)_

Rue rolled her eyes and put her phone away, checking on the pot. The water was almost boiling. Shrugging, she poured it into the cup carefully, spilling only a few drops. She set the pot down and headed toward Ignis's room with a mug of tea in one hand and the medicine in the other. His door was cracked open, so she took that as an invitation to enter.

"Knock, knock," she said cheerfully, announcing her presence as she pushed the door open. Ignis laid in bed on top of his blankets, still in his work clothes as he stared up at the ceiling. He glanced up at her with a frown.

"What's this?"

"Some tea and decongestants. I didn't know if you'd already taken something." She didn't add that she assumed he didn't want to hurt his own pride by resorting to medication to ease his suffering. Sighing, he sat up and eyed the mug of tea. She was roughly two feet away and yet she could  _feel_ the sheer amount of heat radiating from his body. A hot drink wouldn't help that, but it would certainly make him feel a little better.

"I haven't... Is that chamomile?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I figured getting some sleep would help, and I've always hard chamomile helps with that."

"You've never tried?" he asked absently, lifting the mug and holding it close to his chest. "Uncertainty doesn't strike me as a method my  _nurse_ should be using." Rue scoffed.

"Personal assistant, Ignis." She stood, showing a teasing smile. "Don't worry, someday we'll get it right."

"Someday," he muttered, lifting the cup to blow at the steam drifting from its surface.

Rue turned to leave, closing the door behind her and heading back to the kitchen. It probably wouldn't be as good as anything the advisor could cook up on his own, but if he couldn't keep anything down and he hadn't eaten in days because of that, soup was probably the way to go. She lifted a can from the bag and used the empty water pot to heat it up, slowly allowing the mushy noodles and dry meat heat to simmer. She wanted to take her time to allow him to finish his tea and relax for a few minutes before she force-fed him.

And she did just that, absently combing through her hair until she felt as though enough time had passed. Gingerly, she poured the salty broth into a bowl and grabbed a spoon before heading back to Ignis's room. He was staring at the ceiling again when she returned. He turned his eyes to her when he heard her enter, forcing himself upright.

"I come with sustenance," she announced, handing over the bowl. Ignis frowned, glancing up at her. He looked unsure.

"This will likely be gone in thirty minutes," he warned her.

"Gone as in you'll eat it or gone as in you'll throw it up?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. He sighed, defeated.

"... Both."

"Well, try," she huffed, uncertain as to why she suddenly cared so much. This man who caused her so much stress and made her feel  _small_ every day... Why was she giving up a day of freedom to ease his pain?

But then she remembered that genuine look of concern on Gladio's face when she expressed her observations of Ignis's workload. From what she'd heard from his friend, he was an entirely different man now than who he was at the Dawn. If she had half the drive to do what he did on the daily, she'd be crabby, too. She huffed, easing herself onto the couch.  _Well, here's to hoping I can change him back._

Ignis stared into the cloudy broth of the soup bowl in his hands. The meal had obviously just been heated from a can, not that he expected anything less of a woman who could hardly file paperwork correctly. His stomach growled hungrily, and his fingers itched to lift the spoon, but he hesitated. He needed his strength, of course, but was he willing to go through the aches and pains of attempting to further that along?

With a defeated sigh, he gave in and grimaced at the watery taste. The heat hardly felt like anything compared to the temperature of his skin, and he was grateful that he couldn't smell the metallic, stale scent he was certain the steam in the air held. The pill Rue had left behind still sat on his nightstand alongside the empty mug that once held tea. He frowned, staring long and hard at the door.  _Why did she come?_

Why did this practical stranger, his employee, feel the need to break into his home in order to tend to him while he fought off whatever bloody ridiculous illness it was that was preventing him for being beside Noct? Why did she hold such a soft gaze toward the man who'd given her nothing but a hard time since the day she walked through his office door? Ignis shook his head, scowling at his closed curtains.  _It must be some sort of tactical move for recognition._ If he'd only known her by the past recorded in the database, he might have actually believed this was a move with greedy motives. But he didn't; he saw her every day of his life, and the mild, timid nature she possessed was nothing close to the deadly criminal she was proclaimed to be.

Rue had some ulterior motive, then. Rayne told him of her desperate need to be in the Citadel working at any job possible, preferably combat. She'd  _begged_ for a job under Cameron Schrader, pleaded for another chance in the Glaive... Rumor even had it that she'd slept with Schrader to get her post moved to the throne room so that Rayne and Gladio would see her more often and never forget her face. In fact, Rue had already admitted to the relationship they'd had, even if it was brief. Perhaps that was all was necessary. Ignis huffed. He wouldn't put it past Cam.

But why would she need to be in the Glaive? What was the reason behind her persistence? She hardly struck him as a woman with an insatiable hunger for power, nor as a fighter by any means, so why was she here? He shook his head, lifting the bowl to drink down the remnants of the unpleasant soup. There were several missing pieces to her puzzle and, while Ignis was curious to see how it all fit together, he had no intention of digging any deeper. He wasn't even sure that he needed her around for much longer; why bother with a deeper relationship rather than the arm's length he kept her at?

Drowsy, Ignis turned onto his left side and pulled his glasses off, entirely forgetting to set them on the table. Instead, he held them delicately between two fingers and let his heavy eyelids slide shut, still chasing his thoughts round and round his head as he drifted off.

_"Noct!" Prompto screamed, catching the attention of both Rayne and Ignis._

_Gladio had been gone for days at that point; they'd suffered through their endeavors with Aranea and were headed back to Lestallum when they were stopped by an imperial ambush on the road. But these MTs were twice as strong as the ones they'd encountered before and there was nowhere to run without the protection of Gladio's sword arm. Rayne was doing her best, but it was hardly enough. They turned to see a metal-suited soldier holding Noct to its chest with an iron grip, baring his pale throat to the pitch-black darkness of the early hours of the morning._

_"No!" Rayne screamed, completely frozen as Prompto rushed forward, but it was far too late. The bot slid its deadly sword across the prince's unguarded throat, throwing him to the ground and piercing the tip of the blade through his chest. Noct cried out, choking on his own blood._

_"Noct!" Ignis stopped moving._

_His veins ran cold, his skin was ice, and his breaths had stilled. Rayne stared with wide eyes, the blood draining from her face. Normally, he could control his panic, his fear, but there was no stopping this. It was supposed to be a regular clean-up, a way of removing an obstacle. When had that ever meant peril to Noct's life? He looked to Rayne once more only to see her entirely unaware of the magitek soldier behind her. It was too late to warn her; the blade was already through her back, piercing clean through to the front of her body._

_The scream that tore through her throat and echoed through the night sky was the sound that brought the heat back to his blood. The look in her watering eyes shouted for him to forget her, to save the king. And so, he threw all concern for Rayne out the window and rushed to Noctis's side, nearly tearing a hole in his pants from how hard his knee hit the pavement._

_Behind him, Rayne was kicked off the sword like a ragdoll, but she was far from losing her fight. She rolled onto her back, parrying the MT's next blow with her gunblade, and jammed her weapon clean through its steel skeleton, tearing it nearly in two. Still lying on the ground, she threw an ice spell into the mess of soldiers ahead of them and attempted to stand only to fall over, retching and choking on the blood that filled her lungs._

_Ignis pulled a brilliant feather from the pocket at his side, gritting his teeth as he willed the magical properties of the phoenix down to transfer even just a touch of life from his body to Noct's. The feather dissipated, but nothing happened. The young man wasn't breathing, wasn't responding. Ignis's heart ached from the speed at which it was pounding. He could hear Rayne crawling over to them slowly and he struggled to down his panic yet again. What else could he possibly do?_

_"Rayne! Are you okay?!" Prompto asked, helping her to her feet. Clenching her jaw, she shook her head, clutching the bleeding hole in her abdomen and digging through her pocket with her other._

_"How's Noct?" she forced out, holding back a bloody cough._

_"We tried a phoenix down," he replied, sounding overcome with worry. "Ignis hasn't gotten any response yet."_

_"Try another," she demanded, shoving a bright feather into his gloved hand._

_"But you're..."_

_"I'm fine; he's more important," she snapped, shoving him away. She stumbled backward onto the ground with a pained grunt, clutching the gaping wound in her stomach. With a hesitant nod, Prompto handed the feather to Ignis._

_"Don't give up now," Ignis whispered, desperately clutching the down and gritting his teeth. Please, anything... I'll do anything. He'd never grasped Noct's arm this hard before, never felt so powerless, so desperate. The clinking of the MT's armor drew nearer and nearer, and yet, there was still no response. "Please..." Ignis forced out, pressing his forehead to Noct's chest. His eyes were squeezed shut; he was trying so hard, but he was getting nowhere._

_A fiery explosion rocked the ground behind him, hot flames melting away the shells of the magitek soldiers behind them as Rayne screamed once more, this time from the sheer force of the energy pouring from her body. The power of Lucis... Of course... It must have been too much for her: Noctis, her injuries, Gladio's sudden disappearance... Ignis shook his head._

_"Wake up," he pleaded. The feather burst into a shower of sparks and Noctis sat up with a gasp, his injuries miraculously healed. Ignis straightened, stunned. He wasn't entirely sure what he expected, but he'd almost lost hope altogether. Foolish of me._

_"Is she okay?" Noctis muttered dizzily._

_Ignis turned to see Rayne collapsed on the ground, lifeless except for the short, raspy breaths she heaved in and out._

_"Prompto, there should be extra curatives in the car," Ignis commanded. "Quickly!"_

_The gunman of their group scrambled off toward the Regalia, desperate to undo the shortcomings of the night. Knowing their luck, daemons would attack them at any moment. Ignis hooked his arms under Rayne's and lifted her upper body off the ground in an attempt to ease her breathing. Prompto was back quicker than Ignis had ever seen him run, pressing the vial of an elixir into her skin until it burst and green sparks ran across her skin. Slowly, she came to, her violet eyes staring up at the sky until her mind seemed to center itself and Ignis was able to pull her to her feet._

_"Rayne?" Prompto asked tentatively, supporting Noct's unconscious body. "Are you alright?"_

_"I think..." she started, her voice cutting off when her throat tightened suddenly. "I think so."_

_"That was some impressive fire," he teased, laughing nervously. Ignis frowned, eyeing her carefully before turning to Prompto._

_"Get to the Regalia, Prompto. We'll be there shortly."_

_"C'mon Noct," Prompto muttered, pulling the limp prince along with him. Once they were out of earshot, Ignis heaved a sigh, staring hard at the young woman at his side._

_"... Are you alright?"_

_"Dunno," she mumbled, staring at Noct's back. "I mean, I'm still bleeding but..."_

_"Rayne," he cut her off firmly. She was silent, likely trying to stuff more into the bottle, the compartment she kept her struggles and feelings hidden away in. "Rayne?"_

_The bottle exploded._

_She collapsed to her knees so suddenly that Ignis thought she'd fainted for a split second. But there she was, on the ground with her face buried in her trembling hands and her sobs choking her as she struggled to breathe. Her entire body shook as she crumpled in on herself, uncontrollably shattered while her stunned psyche tried to pick up the pieces. Ignis kneeled beside her, uncertain of how to comfort her. Her troubles were her own; she refused to share the burden with anyone else, and he was forced to respect that. His hand rested on her back, gently smoothing her charred, bloody shirt._

_"It's just too much..." She forced through ragged breaths. "I haven't had time to..." She shook her head, scrubbing at her face with her wrists. "It all started with Wyn... but then my dad and now Arma... Not to mention Insomnia..." Wyn? She went silent, staring down at the pavement as tears continue to slide down her cheeks. Ignis sighed, resting a hand on her shoulder. His heart ached, crying out in hopes for any way he might ease her suffering._

_"You're too stubborn to fail, you know. You'll pull through."_

_"I forgot about Noctis for one minute and look what happened. I should've been there..."_

_"I'd call it a result of Gladio's shortcoming," Ignis muttered under his breath bitterly, pushing his glasses up. The man had resorted to slowly dragging her away from him, from any chances he may have had at acting upon his hesitant favor toward the girl he'd been raised with, and now he'd torn her to shreds and left them for dead. He couldn't help but feel this instance would be a wall between him and his friend for years to come. "But Noct is fine now."_

_"No one else is," she whimpered. "Wyn..."_

_"He chose his destiny," he interrupted, leaning forward to catch her eye. "None of this is guilt belongs to you, Rayne."_

_"You wouldn't understand," she huffed, shaking her head. He wanted to scream, and that's not a feeling Ignis had often. "It's all mine, I earned it. I'm doing a shitty job of keeping track of it all." The tears welled up in her eyes again, and this time, he let his instincts lead him to pull her to his chest, to thread his fingers through her long, thick hair and hold her as tightly as she clutched him._

_"You're fine," he whispered, resting his sharp chin on top of her head. It took every ounce of self-control not to press his lips to her forehead. He needed to be selfless and let her go. "We should be getting to Lestallum soon."_

_"I know," she murmured. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. Honestly, I'm just really pissed off at Gladio right now."_

_"And that makes two of us," he replied with a forced chuckle. "I suppose we should return to the Regalia before Prompto decides to come pick us up."_

_"Guess so," she scoffed, letting him drag her to her feet._

_Ignis got into the driver's seat and watched as Prompto curled up beside Noct in the back. Rayne retrieved a potion from the trunk and got into the passenger seat. He silently wished that she'd done so by her own will, but it was enough comfort that, when the car rumbled to life and started carrying them to their destination, Rayne closed the gap across the seats and rested her head against his shoulder without a word._

Ignis started awake, unsure of why such a pleasant end to a memory had jerked him back into consciousness. Suddenly, though, he understood, feeling the cottony tension in his mouth grow stronger as he rolled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom door just across the room. Bitter hatred for his lack of control twisted his heart when he threw himself to the floor just as the first lurch hit him in the gut and he spewed out everything he'd dared to consume.

Weak, covered in a film of cold sweat, and trembling, he fell back against the edge of the bathtub and tried to catch his breath, wiping his arm across his forehead and letting his face turn to the ceiling. He wondered if Rue was still out there in his living room; he wondered how he felt about it before ultimately deciding that he didn't care. All he wanted was to be well again, to be with the others as they guided Noct through the difficult times he was in, and to be rid of the gut-wrenching guilt that was slowly eating away at him as he demanded to know how he could possibly have let himself think of Rayne like that again, even subconsciously.

In short, Ignis Scientia had nearly lost his composure.

 


	18. Vanilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "There For You" by Flyleaf

Rue was half asleep on the couch when she heard the sound of Ignis retching in the room on the opposite side of the thin wall to her life. Alarmed, she sat up abruptly, unsure if she should help. How could she? She doubted Ignis wanted her to see him in such a position, but at the same time, she couldn’t leave him there to suffer… Could she?

Sighing, Rue fell back into her seat and slouched, trying to get her mind off him by scrolling through the old photos on her phone. She’d give him a second to clear his system before she bothered him. She watched the minutes tick by before taking a deep breath and getting to her feet, hobbling to his bedroom on sleeping legs. His bed was empty, but the bathroom door was cracked open. Nervously, she slowly pushed the door open. Ignis was slumped against the bathtub with his head thrown back toward the ceiling. The sweat dripping down his face had loosened his hair, which was currently falling into his eyes and sticking to his skin. His glasses were missing; she couldn’t help but notice that he looked  _years_ younger without them.

“Ignis? You okay?”

There was no reply. Frowning, she held her breath and avoided looking into the toilet bowl. She stooped at his side, shaking his shoulder gently. The sharp, uneven tile dug into her knees and the pins and needles in her legs responded with sharp jabs here and there, up and down her calves. Ignis still didn’t react. Her heart started to beat harder; was he alright? Carefully, unsure of what else to do, she pulled one of his arms across her shoulders and started to lift him to his feet.  _Damn_ _, he’s heavier than I thought he’d be._

Gritting her teeth, Rue took a few steps, hardly able to sustain his weight. She glanced at the mirror. The guy looked  _huge_ next to her. She huffed, startled when Ignis’s eyelids fluttered and one of his feet took an uncertain step.

“Ignis?”

“… Rue?” He glanced over at her sleepily, frowning. He tried to pull away and walk without her, only to stumbled into the countertop, grasping the smooth surface for support. “I’m alright,” he reassured her. His throat sounded raw. “Just... give me a moment.” Rue shook her head.

“Let me help you. You need to get back in bed.”

“I can—”

“Please,” she insisted, tugging at his arm.

His eyes were hardly open at this point, and his face was pulled into a half-hearted scowl that quickly changed to a grimace as she pulled him into taking another step. A strangled grunt came from his throat as he reached for the doorframe to steady himself while she faithfully allowed him to lean on her. Finally, they made it to his bed, where he carefully sat down and swiped at his forehead.

“Thank you,” he said, though his words were so quiet that Rue hardly heard them. She sighed, ducking down to look over his face.

“You need to get out of these clothes,” she advised, frowning at the shoes that were still tied to his feet. “I’m assuming you don’t want help with that, though I don’t know how you’ll get to the closet.”

“I’ll manage,” Ignis replied. Nodding, Rue turned to leave. Ignis cleared his throat and she faced him expectantly. Finally, he looked up at her. “How long do think you’ll be here?”

“However long it takes,” she shrugged, hurrying out of the room and making sure to close the door behind her.

She took her time in retrieving a bowl of cool water and a cloth; he was practically  _boiling_ when she found him. Sweating the illness out was certainly a good option at this point, but she didn’t want him to overheat and cook from the inside out. She let the cloth she was toying with plop back into the water.  _I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s not like he’s a child…_ But why couldn’t it be like treating a child’s sickness? Minus the cooing and coddling, the care was essentially the same. The only difference was the appreciation for the little things that grew with age, not that she thought Ignis even had the capacity to appreciate anything she did. Even his thanks sounded obligatory.

Finally, she forced herself to return to the room. Her cheeks turned red when she realized she’d walked in  _just_ in time as Ignis pulled a gray shirt down over his bare back, which was really all she saw in the split second that she’d looked. Clearing her throat, she set the bowl down on the nightstand and nodded for him to get back in his bed. Rue could hardly imagine a time where Ignis was capable of wearing anything except for clothes that made him look professional through and through, and yet there he was, flat on his back in bed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Feeling any better?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Ignis huffed, turning his eyes over to her. Suddenly, he frowned, propping himself up on his elbows. “Your glasses, right? I have no idea where they are. Found you without ‘em.” Ignis didn’t seem to hear her. She huffed. “You don’t need them right now, Ignis.”

“They could be lost.”

“How…?” she frowned. Was he getting delusional? The guy needed to chill for once. “Just… forget them. Lay down.” After a moment of frowning and staring hard at nothing in particular, the advisor obeyed, though his motions were stiff. Rue sighed, kneeling. “Now, I know you’re not gonna like this, but I need you to pull your blankets on, too.” Ignis sighed.

“I don’t need you to—”

“Just do it,” Rue insisted, wanting to get home as much as Ignis wanted to get back to his king’s side. “And close your eyes.”

“Rue…”

“I know, it’s hurting your pride. Just let me help you with something for once.” Rue was genuinely surprised that he hadn’t fired her yet. She’d never been so bold as to demand that her superior obey her commands, especially in a moment of weakness, and yet here she was, bossing Ignis Scientia of all people around. And he was compliant. “Thank you.”

She squeezed most of the water out of the cloth before laying it across his forehead. He tensed, frowning. Rue sighed, deciding against wiping the sweat off his face, and stood, checking her phone. Eren would be there to pick her up any minute.

“I have to go soon but listen: I need you to stay just like that for as long as possible. Your fastest option will probably be to just sweat this bad boy out, you get me?” Ignis cracked his eyes open.

“I could have done all this on my own.”

“Yeah, but what’s the fun in that?” she muttered, tucking her phone away and crossing her arms. “You stay like that and sweat  _buckets,_ you hear me? Next thing you know, you’re on the fast track to recovery. Until that fever’s gone,  _do not_ get up to come into the office.” She dared to offer a smile. “I’m keeping a thermometer at hand just in case you decide to come in. You’d better be in the clear.”

“You’ve resorted to petty threats now, have you?” Ignis asked, raising an eyebrow. He looked  _dreadful._ She was honestly surprised he hadn’t demanded she get her ass out of his house yet.

“Oh, they’re not petty, Scientia. I mean it. No work until you’re much,  _much_ better.” Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she knew that was her signal. She paused in the doorway to speak once more, unsure if she should even extend the offer. “And, I know I’m probably the last person you’d call if you ever admitted to needing help, but I’m available any time. Just call me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

They both knew he wouldn’t. Nodding, she closed his door and headed to the entryway, making sure she’d grabbed everything. Phone, jacket, keys. All she brought that needed to leave with. Taking one last look around the dreary house, she shook her head and stepped outside. Eren was just stepping outside of his car to knock.

“How is he?” he asked with genuine concern in his voice. Rue shrugged.

“Shitty, but I think he’ll be feeling much better after today. He’s on the back end of it all.”

“You seem to have that effect on people,” Eren grinned, starting the car while she got into the passenger seat. She scoffed, placing her elbow on the ledge beside her window and propping her head up with her hand. She felt exhausted for no real reason.

“I doubt it; the guy just needed a day of rest.”

“And the gentle touch of a woman.”

“Excuse me?” Rue raised an eyebrow as he laughed.

“Not like that.”

“Sexist.”

“ _Okay._ ”

They pulled out of the driveway and into the busy street. Eren’s hand reached over to turn the radio’s volume up, but Rue reached forward to stop him. Raising an eyebrow, he glanced over at her as she chewed her lip thoughtfully, slowly slumping in her seat.  _No, nevermind._ She moved to pull her hand away, but he held it tightly, offering a slight smile. She almost snorted; he was such a  _dork._

“What’ve you been up to?”

“Well,” Eren sighed, cocking his head to the side. “I went to that new gym that’s supposed to be just for the Crownsguard, but they’re gone so I don’t care. It’s  _nice._ Then I got this killer headache and went back to my place to grab some things, and here I am.”

“Hm. Eventful.”

“Very.”

She glanced at the backseat to see a red duffle bag laying across the seats. Her heart skipped a beat; this was really real, then. He was bringing things back to her place to  _stay_  because he genuinely wanted to be around her. Rue watched the people of the city fly past as streaks of color. It was a strange feeling to know that someone admired her, that is if he was being honest that morning. Something told her there was something more to it than his unending attraction, but she was too afraid to dig past it.

“You tired?” Eren asked when she yawned, pulling into a parking spot outside her apartment complex. She nodded.

“A little. Dunno why, though, I haven’t exactly done much today.”

“Eh, you had a late night and a somewhat early morning,” Eren shrugged, reaching into the back to grab his bag. “I’d say it’s well-earned sleepiness.”

“I didn’t know sleepiness had to be earned,” Rue commented, getting out of the car. “I just want to get in bed and  _stay_ there.”

“I don’t see why you can’t,” Eren pointed out. “C’mon, let’s get you into some PJ’s.”

“I don’t think I’ll need any help,” she scoffed, hurrying to get inside.

The apartment was warm; it felt  _lived_ in. There was a stack of dishes in the sink that wasn’t weeks old, a blanket was thrown across the couch, and the smell of old coffee came from the half-empty pot in the kitchen. The dirtiness wasn’t unwelcome. She took a deep breath, snuggled her cat, and hurried to her room to change into something more comfortable, namely an enormous shirt for some band she didn’t know (she still couldn’t remember where she’d gotten it) and her glasses.

“Wow, that’s a look,” Eren commented, setting his bag down by the kitchen. “Want any coffee?”

“That old stuff? No thanks.”

“A new batch,” he reassured her. She nodded, flopping down on the couch.

“Sure, sounds good.”

She sighed as she heard Eren getting to work. Was she dreaming? She’d gone out for an innocent night of drinking, brought her closest friend home, played nurse for her boss, and now she was waiting for said closest friend to brew her a pot of coffee while they made an attempt at digging past a mere friendship. And to think she’d spent all this time fighting Relir on how many guys it would take her to meet one that was worth her time.

She snorted, watching Eren run a hand through his hair and stare at the machine before him. The gray sweatshirt he was wearing was the very same one he wore to the first Glaive practice where Gladio tore him to shreds for having his mobility limited by the sleeves. She’d been so proud of herself for wearing a tank top at that moment.  _Look at him now._

“You need help?” Rue asked, getting back to her feet and heading toward Eren. He shook his head, stepping back and resting his hands on his hips.

“It’s stuck.”

“Nah, there’s a trick to it.” Rue gripped the handle of the pot and jammed it into the machine, tilting it forward and jerking it free. A single, fat drop of coffee spattered onto the tile. Eren raised an eyebrow, accepting the coffee pot from her. “See?”

“Why don’t you get a new one?” he asked, heading to the sink to rinse it out. Rue busied herself with emptying the filter. “Not to pry or make assumptions or whatever, but you’re making good money now, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she shrugged, tossing the paper filter out. “I dunno, I guess I just planned on saving up.”

“For what?”

“A new place, maybe.” She looked around the apartment fondly. “I mean I love it here, don’t get me wrong, but I want something a little bigger and a little less… crowded. People are packed like sardines in here.”

“Yeah, well, it’s the biggest complex in the Crown City,” Eren nodded. “And it’s cheap. Everyone needed somewhere to stay after the Dawn.”

“And I guess I’m one of ‘em.” She petted Honey’s sleek fur as she padded carefully across the countertop. “Besides, I’d rather not have a secret cat for much longer.”

“That, too,” Eren laughed. “I don’t want to have to continue sneaking her in and out of here.”

“Yeah.” Rue filled the water tank. “Do you want any?”

“Yup.” Eren stood aside to watch her start the brew quietly, offering her a smile when she looked up at him.

“What?”

“It’s stupid,” he shrugged, though he was grinning. Rue raised an eyebrow.

“Okay? So’s, like, seventy percent of the stuff you say.”

“Ouch.” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I just, uh… It’s not even been twenty-four hours yet, but, I dunno…” He shook his head, his face growing red. Rue couldn’t help but smile.

“But…?” she teased, creeping closer with her hands clasped behind her back.

“Stop that,” he scoffed nervously, his eyes refusing to meet hers. “I told you, it’s a stupid thought.”

“But I want to hear what’s on your mind.”

“I just don’t want to, I don’t know, scare you away?” He finally forced himself to look at her. Rue’s smile grew soft and she smoothed the fine wrinkles in his sweatshirt gingerly.

“I don’t know how much you remember from last night, Eren,” she said calmly, glancing up at him. “But I’m pretty sure it was  _me_ who kissed  _you._ ”

“Right,” he huffed.

“Just spit it out already.”

“I guess… I’m happy.” He shrugged, absently brushing his fingers down her arm. “It sounds weird, I get that, but I never even imagined I’d have a  _chance.”_

“At little old me?” Rue snorted, brushing aside her worries and standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. “I think you’ve got the wrong idea about me, then.”

“What, you’re desperate?”

“What _ever,_ ” she scoffed, swatting his chest before turning to retrieve a mug. Eren laughed and she felt his arms wrap around her waist as he planted a kiss on her neck.

"Damn, you’re tired.”

“Yeah? How can you tell?” she snorted, watching the coffee drip into the pot slowly, a puff of steam rising into the air.

“You’re all slouched and  _loose._ ” He grabbed her arm and flopped her hand around. “See?”

“… You’re so weird.”

“Hey, you asked for it,” he shrugged, stepping away. “Maybe you should just go straight to bed. You’ve been around a sick person all day, and who knows if it was contagious or not?”

“You’ve got a point,” she sighed, setting her mug down to run both her hands through her hair and tug at her roots. “It’s just so  _early._ ”

“You had a late night.”

“And a late morning.”

“So? Probably didn’t get much deep sleep.”

“Eren,” Rue scoffed, glancing at the watch on his wrist. “You look at that data too much.”

“Maybe I do,” he shrugged. He pressed the power button on the coffee pot and its gurgling quieted. “I’ll go with you.”

“You’re tired, too?”

“Yeah, I am,” he admitted with a sheepish smile. “Call it a day?”

“… … Okay.”

Rue switched off the light and locked the door. The sun’s light had hardly disappeared behind the building that always blocked her view before she drew the curtains shut. She was going to miss the sunsets and rises when she moved… There was always something so surreal about seeing the sun disappear for a night that put the world on edge only for it to return in the morning as though it had never left. It was odd living in a world where “as surely as the sun rises in the morning” was a phrase that could hardly be used unironically. She turned to walk back to the bedroom only to see Eren watching her.

“Dude, it’s getting creepy.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” he shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck and jamming his other hand into his pocket. “It’s just… Do you ever think we saw each other during the Darkness?”

“I don’t think so,” she muttered, sitting back on her heels from where she was on the couch.

“Because, I mean, I know that’s where you met Relir—”

“Briefly.”

“—and Dex was part of your group, right?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, standing. “Where did you stake out?”

“Near Galdin Quay. I was with my sister and her son.”

“I heard it was dangerous out there,” Rue frowned, hugging her arms to her body. He nodded, his eyes dropping to the floor.

“Yeah… They didn’t make it. I probably wouldn’t have, either, if the light hadn’t come back just in time.”

“Daemons?”

“Probably myself.”

“Ah.” Rue slowly stood, cocking her head to the side.

She hadn’t thought about the Darkness in a long time. Too many painful memories, too many wounds that were still gaping, bleeding—and it wasn’t just her. At this point, any mention of what took place a mere two years ago seemed taboo. The only things worth mentioning were the glory of King Noctis and the marvel of the way Insomnia had bounced right back. It seemed no one was ready yet, and those who were had to tiptoe.

“… Is that how your husband…?”

“No.” Rue’s voice was soft, entirely lost between two courses of action. Tell the truth or leave it there. She cleared her throat, heading to her room in silence. She closed her eyes, sighing and nodding toward the framed photo of a girl at her bedside. “Curious about her?”

“I wasn’t going to pry.”

“Okay. Someday,” Rue reassured him, reaching to turn the light off. He grabbed her shoulder to stop her. She jumped, looking back at to meet his soft gaze.

“In your own time.”

“Right,” she huffed, switching the light off and flopping onto her mattress.  _They always say they can wait._ She stared at the ceiling as Eren changed into a pair of sweatpants.  _But people are impatient, aren’t they?_

Rue scoffed at her own thoughts and turned onto her side, heaving a contented sigh when Eren curled up against her back and pulled her comfortably close. She relaxed, closing her eyes in hopes of finding a few extra hours of sleep, but all she found was the faces of those she’d betrayed, abandoned, destroyed. She shuddered and Eren snuggled closer.  _Will I do it again?_

 


	19. Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sensitive stuff warning!  
> "Pope" by Copeland

The clicking of her heels echoed through the halls soundly, bounding off the smooth floors and closed doors. Rue shifted the stack of papers in her arms, reaching out toward the doorknob to Ignis’s office. She’d come in an hour late, but to her surprise, he hadn’t come in at all—he hadn’t even bothered to text her. So, she gathered what she could remember that she’d done before and made copies of the employment forms he usually used. Who knew how many more people would be hired into the guard?  _Or who Rayne and Gladio will let in._

The filled forms were organized in alphabetical order—at least, they had been before the thick stack of papers tumbled out of her arms. Rue groaned, clenching her fists at her sides before she could scream.  _What, am I a cliché now?_

“Whoa, there!”

Rue jumped, looking up to see Prompto grinning at her from the doorway of his office. She frowned, entirely confused.

“Why are you…?”

“Oh, right.” Prompto fell to his knees all too easily, starting to gather the pages. Awkwardly, Rue crouched in her tight skirt and tall heels, helping him. “We were running  _super_ late just because of packing reasons and a little because of Iggy. Just as we were heading out, close to when we were supposed to meet these people, we get a call saying that it’s called off, their bad.” He laughed, shaking his head as Rue eyed him curiously. “Rayne thinks they just wanted to get us out and call it off when they thought we were close just to be asses.”

“Sounds like it,” Rue murmured. “What people were you meeting?” Prompto looked up at her quickly, realization dawning over his face.

“Shit, you weren’t supposed to know.” He handed her papers over, speaking earnestly in a low voice. “Just pretend you didn’t hear that, yeah?”

“But—”

“Please,” he hissed, looking around nervously. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday.”  _Someday._

“Fine,” she muttered, unsteadily standing and accepting the papers. “Someday.”

“Thanks,” he nodded, breathing a sigh of relief and smiling. “See you around?”

“Sure.” Rue turned back to Ignis’s door and turned the knob successfully this time, watching her step carefully in order to keep the forms in her grasp this time.

“I’m assuming those are no longer in order.”

" _Shit._ _”_ She nearly jumped out her skin upon hearing her boss’s voice, clutching the papers to her chest and crinkling quite a few. Ignis sighed, raising an eyebrow.

“Are you here to take my temperature?” he asked dryly. Rue scoffed, fighting a smile as she brought the pages to his desk.

“Fortunately for you, Mr. Scientia, I forgot my thermometer at home. Looks like you’re off the hook this time.” She had to admit, he looked  _much_ better. The day of rest did him good. “You look like you’re feeling better.”

“I am,” he nodded, hesitating to speak as he reached for the stack. “Thank you for your assistance yesterday.”

“Hey, that’s what assistants do; we assist.” She scoffed at her own words, crossing her arms. “Like I’ve done this my whole adult life. Yeah, right.”

“The work suits you.”

“What the hell’s that mean?” she demanded, irritated by the smile that Ignis wrestled to hide.

“Think nothing of it. Sort these, please.”

“Of course,  _Mr. Scientia.”_

“And no more of that,” he countered, pushing his glasses up.

“Right; wouldn’t want people to think we’re too professional here.”

“Of course not.”

Shaking her head, Rue reached forward to get to work on a portion of the stack, kneeling on the floor to create separate files. Ignis frowned, watching her crawl around on his carpet for a moment before shaking his head and getting back to writing whatever it was that he was recording in the notebook on his desk with a quiet sniffle. It took almost thirty minutes to get everything back in order; by the time she was back on her feet, her bones ached, she had rug burn on her knees, and Ignis had cracked open his second Ebony. She set the organized stack down on his desk and dusted off her hands, feeling accomplished.

“Mission accomplished.”

“Twice,” Ignis muttered, not bothering to look up.

“But  _accomplished._ ” Ignis didn’t reply, taking a drink from the tall can to his left. “You know what I’m feeling? Tea. Want any?” She nodded toward the Ebony. “It’ll probably help you out a lot more than all that caffeine.”

“Tea has caffeine,” he replied, arching an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well, caffeine-free tea’s a thing.”

“As is caffeine-free coffee.”

“ _Ignis,”_ she huffed, exasperated. Since when was he anything but  _cranky?_  What sort of cough syrup was this guy hopped up on?

“If you wish to make two cups, then I will take some,” he answered finally. “As long as there’s no caffeine.”  _Fuck_ _ **off.**_

“Be right back,” she nodded, turning and heading out of the office and down the stairs to the kitchen. Her heart stopped cold upon seeing Relir and Dex approaching. She hadn’t even decided if they should know about her and Eren yet. It was too late to run; Relir was already making a beeline for her.

“Look who it is,” she greeted, crossing her arms. Rue glanced at Dex, who flashed a cocky smile behind her.

“Hi?”

“What’s  _that?”_ Relir scoffed. “A question?”

“No,” Rue shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t sleep very well.”

“Right,” Relir rolled her gray eyes, though she was only teasing. “Hey, what’d you guys do after we left Friday night? Anything exciting?” Rue just about died as her face turned red. Hopefully, they couldn’t see in the dim light.

“Nah, he just came back to my place and stayed the night.”

“Stayed the night as in…?”

“On my couch,” Rue replied defensively. “He couldn’t drive home like that, Relir!”

“Okay, okay, damn,” Relir scoffed, holding up her hands. “Just making sure you guys haven’t gotten into any trouble. You wouldn’t be good together, anyway.”

“Why’s that?” Rue frowned. Dex shrugged, minding his own business. Relir hesitated, unprepared for the question.

“I dunno, you guys are just so, you know… closed off.”

“Closed off.”

“Yeah. Reserved, secretive, the whole shebang.”

“You’d think that’d make it easier,” Rue pointed out. Relir raised an eyebrow.

“What, are you interested?”

“What? No, I didn’t say that.” Rue crossed her arms, hurrying away. “Listen, I’ve got stuff to do. See you guys later.”

“Later.”

Shaking her head, Rue quickened her pace to reach the kitchen faster. Her heart was hammering and her hands were shaking.  _Gods, what do I do if this all works out? Because “Haha, you were kind of right and I kind of lied straight to your face,” probably won’t cut it._ She bit down hard on her cheek to bring herself back down to earth. This wasn’t the time to worry; everything would work out eventually.

The kitchen door swung open easily when her palms pressed against its cool, smooth surface. The shining clean white counters and stainless-steel appliances were pristine as per usual and the charcoal gray walls and floor were the perfect contrast. In fact, the only thing out of place was a pot full of water that was on the island counter.  _I’m surprised that anyone else uses this place._ Rue dug through a few cabinets to find a tea kettle, filling it with water and setting it on the stove. While she waited, she leaned back against the counter and collected her rewards from her mobile games patiently.

Humming a song that was stuck in her head, she glanced over to the teapot. It was just barely releasing wisps of steam that disappeared mere seconds later. Sighing, she reached up into the overhead cabinets in a hunt for a pair of mugs. She found two that didn’t have some stupid phrase or image printed across the sides, checking her phone once more before leaning forward against the stove to watch the steam grow into puffing clouds. Her thoughts turned to Ignis as an image of him scowling at his computer arose in her mind’s eye.  _I wonder what he’s always doing on that thing._

Almost every time she saw him, he was staring hard at that stupid computer screen, eyes narrowed and brows creased together. Sometimes he had a notebook and pen off the side, where he occasionally scribbled things down. He couldn’t possibly be concerned about Cam anymore, could he? Or was there something else he was told to look into that she wasn’t allowed to know? She was fully aware that she as only a glorified secretary, but it was hard not to wonder about all those  _secrets_ that the Crownsguard whispered about behind her back. The pot whistled, releasing her from her thoughts, and she straightened, reaching forward to take it off the heat. She never quite made it.

Something cracked  _hard_ against her skull and she was thrown to the floor, head spinning, throbbing, screaming, vision fading, sparking, swirling. Her back hit the ground sharply, and for a moment, it felt as though she was asleep. Everything felt cold except for the strange brushes of warmth that traced all across her skin, jumping here or there, the odd pressure that jumped down her lips, chin, and neck.

And then the swirling began to fade, and she became painfully aware of the stabbing, agonizing pain that radiated from the back of her head. Her vision quickly started to go from black and white sparks to a clearer image of a shadowy figure that loomed over her. Her skin recognized the warmth as a pair of hands, mind raced as she wondered why her clothes were  _soaked,_  goosebumps jumped to life when she realized how exposed she was, knees plowed into his chest, hands fumbled for the object in the corner of her eye, arms swung and cracked the pot down over his head.

Dizzily, Rue scooted away from the figure, still unable to focus as the ground rocked and her vision faded in and out. The man groaned, clutching his head; alarmed, Rue tugged her wet clothes back into place and unsteadily dragged herself to her feet, gripping the counter for support. The only thing she could remember was tea.  _Tea?_ She clumsily ripped two tea bags out of their packaging as the figure writhed, grumbling nonsensical words on the floor.

A hand reached out to grab her as she poured boiling water into the mugs, shaking uncontrollably as she slammed the teapot back onto the stove and grabbed the cups. Her feet carried her out of the kitchen, wobbling around on her heels as though she was drunk. Her hands were unaware of the scalding heat that burned her palms as hot water splashed over the rims of the mugs and ran across her skin. Her eyes flitted around her surroundings, though they seemed to gather nothing. Stumbling up the stairs as though she was undead, something she couldn’t place guided her toward Ignis’s door, which was cracked open. She walked straight into it to push it open, wobbling her way to his desk. Ignis looked up, his face going from tense to stunned in mere moments.

“Rue?” She didn’t seem to hear him, slamming the two now empty mugs down on the wooden surface and falling back into seat before him. The muddy face of the man who’d attacked her was the only thing her mind could wrap around. “Are you alright?”

“Cam.” She stared into space, but her voice was demanding, stronger than it’d ever been before. Her skin was on fire, though not because of the angry burns marring her skin. “I’m here to talk about Cam.”

 


	20. Dirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe" by Lewis Capaldi

"What the fuck happened?"

Rue gritted her teeth as Ignis pulled the last thread of her stitches tight, her fingers digging into the supple leather of the seat beneath her. Her toes were curled inside her shoes and her knees were pressed together. Everything  _hurt,_ even after Ignis used a hi-potion to take the edge off the concussion she likely had. Rayne was sitting on the edge of his desk with her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised. She'd apparently heard a commotion when Rue'd started screaming nonsense about Cameron Schrader and came running.

"Rue?" Rayne pressed, tilting her head.

Rue avoided her eyes and stared hard at the notebook on Ignis's desk. From this angle, she couldn't read anything; she really just wanted something to look at other than the woman who would  _revel_ in her failure to defend herself. Ignis and Rayne exchanged a look over her head as the advisor tucked his tools away. Slowly, he made his way around to his desk, watching Rue as she interlaced her fingers tightly and turned her eyes to her feet.

"Are you prepared to explain this to me?"

"... She leaves first."

"Excuse me?" Rayne snapped. Ignis frowned, but he seemed to understand.

"If she leaves, I'll talk."

"Rayne," Ignis spoke up, nodding when she stared at him in disbelief.

"Are you serious?!"

"We'll speak later."

"Fuck you," Rayne scoffed, sliding off the table and slamming the door behind her on her way out. Ignis sighed, sitting down slowly with a frown etched onto his face. Rue swallowed hard, pressing her lips together.

"I'm sorry. I just... couldn't have her in here to mock me."

"Mock you?"

"Don't pretend you haven't noticed that she hates my guts," Rue scoffed, finally looking up at him. "She'd  _kill_ to get ahold of this."

"I understand your hesitations, but Rayne is hardly one to revel on another's pain."  _Sure, okay._  When she didn't reply, Ignis pushed his glasses up and took a deep breath. "Care to explain?"

"You might want to take notes or something," Rue muttered. "This is some real dirt on Cam; here's your confession for your  _evidence._ " Ignis looked uncertain. "Seriously, this is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"... I'm not sure."

"Trust me, it is." Rue dug out her phone, pulled up the voice recorder hardly anyone ever used, and hit record.  _Maybe he'll need this._  She leaned back in her seat, trying to keep calm as she recounted her first interaction with Schrader. "When I first met him, Cam, he kind of creeped me out, I'll admit it. Kept complimenting how I looked and just  _staring_. It put me on edge, but I wrote it off as boys being boys." Ignis's eyebrows twitched together. "But then, about a month after he hired me for guard duty, he offered me a promotion of sorts."

"The position outside the throne room."

"Yeah. But it came at a cost." She laughed bitterly, crossing her legs. "See, he knew I wanted that spot—I kind of  _needed_ it, actually. So, he set the price pretty high. I did him whatever  _favors_ whenever and wherever he wanted them, and in turn, he kept me placed at that door. It was all pretty consensual; I agreed to all that BS, so there's not much you can pin on him there."

"There was never a time...?"

"Here's the thing," Rue sighed, leaning forward. "I agreed to whatever, whenever, wherever. That meant I didn't get a say, whether I wanted to do it or not."

"It doesn't work like that at all," Ignis countered. She could see he was having a hard time processing all this.  _Just wait._

"Yeah, well, that's not the problem. I get fired and rehired by you and all that, blah, blah, blah... When you had me talk to him about an appointment, I swear to the gods he was going to pull something. The door was shut, there was no one around, and apparently, he has a thing for secretaries. But then he stopped himself and payed me off instead—two hundred some gil for me to buy better clothes for work. Said it was because it was some fantasy of his. Against my better judgement, I took it.

"Since then, he's left me alone. I haven't seen or spoken to him once when it hasn't been made necessary by our jobs." She nodded toward the empty mugs on the edge of his desk. "And then there I am, making tea for the both of us and looking through my phone while I'm waiting for the water to boil, and  _boom._ Something hits me on the back of the head. Next thing I know, I'm on my back on the floor, completely unable to perceive anything."

"And that's when you realized it was Schrader."

"Yeah." Rue pursed her lips, trying to form her words in a coherent way. "I... remember feeling really cold, except for a few spots where I'm now assuming his  _filthy_  hands were. I remember coming to as much as I could just to see him on top of me; I grabbed the pot he hit me with and hit him harder. From there, I'm not sure, but I  _think_ finished making that tea and came here."

"That's a safe assumption," Ignis mumbled, sinking back into his seat and eyeing the mugs on his desk. There was a long silence before Rue turned off her phone and tucked it away, watching as her boss mulled over her story, staring hard at the smooth desk surface. "You have my thanks, Rue." He leaned forward, earnestly meeting her eyes. "It must have been hard."

"Not to be cliché, but I feel a lot lighter," she admitted, though she was still on edge.

"..." Ignis touched his glasses and glanced down at his notebook. "With that testimony and the video footage from the kitchen, we should be able remove him from his seat of employment."

"Video footage...?" Rue sat up, startled. "Wait, does he know there are cameras in there?"

"I don't know," Ignis replied in a questioning voice, unsure of her point.

"You don't..." She scoffed. "If he  _does,_ he's either deleting the footage right now or he shut the cameras off beforehand."

"He doesn't strike me as the sort of man to think his actions through quite so thoroughly, but you may have a point." He stood, heading toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Rue asked, starting to get to her feet.

"Sit," he commanded sharply. "I'll only be a moment."

"Ignis—"

"Patience."

"I'm coming with you," she demanded, getting to her feet sharply. She nearly toppled over, grasping the desk for a support as her head spun. "I'll just... take it slow."

"I thought you wanted to catch this early?"

"Just give me a sec," she muttered, straightening with a deep breath and walking toward him. "Let's go."

The two quickly walked down the hall and took a turn Rue had never taken before, heading into unfamiliar territory. She'd never been in the surveillance room, never had a reason to be. Ignis's stride held a headstrong purpose that surprised her; it must have been a relief to finally get his big break. Maybe he wanted to remind the higher-ups that he was good for more than secretary work. She glanced over at him, recalling what he looked like merely a day before.  _He deserves it._

"There she is!"

They came to a short stop, looking over their shoulders to see Relir and Eren hurrying after them. Rue hardly had time to think before she was enveloped in a tight embrace, clutched against Eren's chest. Relir's cool hand rested on her shoulder as a sign of reassurance. Eren pulled away sharply, lowering his head to look over Rue's face. All the sudden motion was making her dizzy.

"Are you alright? There's blood  _all_  over you!" Relir cried, crossing her arms. "What the hell happened?! The shit people are saying they saw—"

"I'm fine," Rue managed to stutter out, glancing at Ignis as Eren brushed her hair out of her face, frowning. She flinched when his fingers brushed the wound on the back of her head; they pulled away stained red.

"Are you sure?" Eren pressed. "What happened?"

"I'll explain later," Rue promised, backing out of his grasp. "We've got somewhere to be."

"Swear it."

"I swear," she reassured Relir, turning to follow Ignis. Eren frowned at the blood on his hand, watching her go. Relir looked  _ticked._ "I'm sorry about them."

"No need to apologize," Ignis replied, shaking his head and leading the way around another corner. "They care about your wellbeing."

"Yeah, I guess."

Ignis stopped so suddenly that she almost crashed into him, pulling out his jingling keys and shoving one into the lock. It clicked and the door opened slightly. He cleared his throat, glancing back at her.

"If you'd rather not witness this again, you have every right to remain outside."

"No," she said firmly. "I'm coming in."

"Of course," he sighed, nodding to the boy that sat in the seat before the dozens of monitors."Where were you twenty minutes ago?" Ignis demanded, crossing his arms.

"I, uh," the kid stuttered. "I was switching shifts with the other guy." His eyes were wide and his hands clutched the armrests at his sides. He hardly looked a day older than sixteen. "A-am I in trouble?"

Without another word, Ignis touched the center of his glasses and jerked his head as a signal for the boy to leave. Nervously, he scrambled out the door, shaking like a leaf. Rue gnawed on her lip, watching Ignis sit down and click a few options, scrolling until he found what he was looking for.

"Been here before?" she asked quietly.

"I spent a fair amount of time in here Rayne's brother when I was younger," Ignis replied without turning his eyes away as he selected a time frame.

"Signum?"  _That's the soldier one, right?_

"Arma."  _Oh, the dead one._

On the largest screen, the one in the center, appeared the camera footage of the kitchen, angled from above a cabinet across the room from the stove. The perfect view. Ignis fast-forwarded the footage until Rue entered the kitchen, humming to herself and digging for a teapot. He sped it up again, eyes narrowed on the quick motions of his assistant as she set up the pot and the mugs and returned to her phone. Then a shadow caught his eye and he rewound the tape. And there it was. A face peering in through the round window, disappearing, and then reappearing moments later. Schrader obviously thought his actions through, to an extent. The mere thought made his stomach uncomfortably tight.

Cam then crept in through the door, careful to keep it silent as Rue focused on the teapot, seemingly lost in her head. Ignis leaned forward, brows furrowed as he tried to absorb every detail. The young captain opened his mouth to say something only to pause, rethink, and reach for the pot of water on the island beside him. He hesitated. And then he swung. The force with which Rue was thrown to the ground made the advisor sick, or perhaps it was all the coffee he'd consumed without eating. Either way, the scene was disturbing. Like a wild animal, Cameron pounced as Rue clutched her head, clearly suffering from the blow.

He glanced over at Rue as Cam's hands began to wander; he wasn't entirely comfortable watching some crazed freak undress his assistant. Her eyes were locked on the footage from the camera in some unknown hallway. He couldn't blame her for turning away. The entire ordeal was hard enough to believe, but witnessing it was something else entirely. He looked back when a sharp movement caught his eye. Rue's knees slammed into Cam's chest, a moment later, she beat him back with the same pot he'd hit her with. He shrunk away, gripping his head and curling up. She unsteadily stumbled to her feet, clearly not all there, and sloppily made up their mugs of tea. Cam reached out to grab her ankle as she rushed out the door; he missed.

Swallowing to wet his throat, Ignis stopped the footage, having recorded all he needed. He quickly sent it to his own computer before returning the screens to the way they were. The burning image of Rue lying on the hard tile floor, unconscious, stabbed at the back of his mind, demanding attention.  _What kind of monster..._ As much as he  _despised_ Ardyn Izunia, he could hardly imagine he'd ever done something like  _this. Two entirely different crimes_ , he reminded himself. Not worth comparing.  _What am I thinking?_

"Well, there's your evidence," Rue murmured, clutching her arms close to her body.

Ignis stood, leading the way out of the room and motioning for the guard to return. The kid shuddered, hurrying back to his seat. Rue uneasily walked at his side as they slowly made their way back to his office.

"What now?" she asked cautiously, glancing up at him.  _What now indeed._

"I bring this to His Majesty's attention," he answered confidently. "There is no doubt in my mind that Cameron Schrader will be gone by tomorrow."

"You're sure?"

"Positive." Ignis nodded to himself, touching his glasses more out of habit than necessity. She sounded like a frightened child, not at all like the reserved but overwhelmingly determined woman he'd come to know more or less as his helping hand. He paused just before his desk, turning to look back at her. "Sending you home is likely the best course of action."

"No way," she insisted. "Ignis, I'm fine! One more potion and I'll be set for life, I swear."

"One more potion and you'll make yourself sick," he retorted sternly, turning to face her. "You'll be no good to me like this. Go home and rest."

"You're sure?"

"Of course I am," Ignis replied, heading around the other side of the desk and settling in his seat. It felt like his insides were trembling; he blamed all the coffee. "I'll see you tomorrow and then we can discuss this further."

"Me or Schrader?"

"Both."

Rue frowned and her face grew pale; Ignis almost wished he could take back his words, but he decided against clarifying. She needed to learn to stop worrying. Slowly, she took her large, baggy jacket off the hook on his wall and tugged it on. He raised an eyebrow when she glanced at him, lips pursed, but she turned to leave without so much as a farewell. Sighing, Ignis got to work clipping the camera footage down and sent it to his phone before standing unsteadily. His knock on Rayne's door was uncertain but firm. She opened it sharply.

"So?"

"Come with me. We have what we need."

"Thank  _fuck_ , _"_ she breathed, stepping out into the hall. "Should we bring Gladio and Prompto? What about Cor?" She lowered her voice, glancing at the Immortal's door. "Cam's his  _nephew._ "

"He'll have no doubts about a decision to remove him." Ignis sighed. "As for the others... I suppose they should know as long as we're not disturbing them."

"Oh, trust me," Rayne snorted, brushing past him to go to Prompto's office door. "This is something we've  _all_ been waiting for."

The four of them hurried downstairs to the throne room door, where a young woman in a guard's uniform stopped them. Before Ignis could speak, Gladio shot her a look and pushed the door open in silence. Noctis was slouched on the throne, scrolling through a lengthy article about his incompetence. He jumped, startled by his unannounced guest. Ignis had to admit; it looked as though they were there to overthrow him.

"We got it!" Rayne cried, rushing up the stairs to the throne and bowing quickly before crouching at his side. Nervously, Prompto hurried to follow her.

"Got what?" Noct frowned, straightening. Ignis couldn't help but feel off-put by how excited they all were; it was as though they didn't understand what had to happen for them to get this proof against the young man none of them were particularly fond of.

"Dirt on Schrader," Prompto answered, looking up at Ignis with a smile. "You've got it, don't you, Iggy?"

"It's not quite what you think," Ignis frowned.

"What do you mean?" Rayne demanded.

"Just..." Ignis sighed, pulling the video up. "Watch. I have no doubts about what this means, however... You'll understand soon enough."

 


	21. Casper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You" by Marina and the Diamonds

“Hey, you feeling alright?”

Rue peeled her eyes open as Eren walked into her apartment unannounced, kicking his shoes off and hurrying to her side. After Ignis kicked her out, she dragged herself home on her own, used another potion against her better judgment, and bundled up on the couch. The television was on, but it was muted, and the curtains above the sofa were drawn tightly. Eren gingerly sat on the edge of the couch as Rue slowly sat up, rubbing her face. Her head was throbbing and her body ached, but at least she wasn’t bleeding anymore. His hand rested on a lump of thick blanket that turned out to be her thigh.

“How’s it going?”

“A little better,” she mumbled with a yawn. Her eyes could hardly stay open. “My head hurts still.”

“Did you take anything?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, letting her shoulders fall forward as she slouched. Eren nodded, his gaze falling to the floor. Feeling a twinge of guilt, she rested a hand his arm, squeezing. “How was work? Any juicy Glaive gossip I should hear about?”

“It was okay,” he shrugged, leaning into the couch cushions. Rue wiggled her way around until she was sitting on her knees, resting her elbow on the back of the couch. “As for gossip…” He huffed out a short laugh before looking at her. “I hear the outside world isn’t nearly as pleasant as they want us to believe. The King and all them were supposed to be meeting the leader of a group of people who took on the role of Kingsglaive while Noctis was gone. I guess they were given the king’s thanks and sent away without any real recognition or position within the Citadel.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Yeah.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t imagine going through all that just to be told you don’t count because you’re not city folk. So, naturally, they’re all pissed and they’ve decided to rile up the people outside.”

“That’s always smart,” Rue scoffed, playing with the smooth surface of the couch cushion she leaned against.

“There’s another post that Rayne’s started to send glaives to,” he added, though something in his voice changed. “Somewhere by the old Niflheim border, there’s a bunch of Imperial people that really  _hate_ the idea of world unification. Like, they’re preparing to do whatever it takes to get their land back.”

“But Noctis didn’t take their land.”

“I know. It’s something about a guy that’s leading them that thinks even the  _idea_ of unification is imprisonment, so until Noctis openly gives up, they’re gonna be a real pain in the ass.” He huffed, shaking his head. “Anyway, the post. She’s already sent a few of the older Glaives that stayed loyal out there; none of them ever returned.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Eren shifted to get comfortable. “And now she’s getting desperate, what with Cam’s men being massacred left and right, so she’s starting to send newbies out there.”

“As in you guys?”

“Yup.” He pursed his lips, cocking his head to the side. “And for some reason, she’s not sending groups. It’s always one or two at a time. Heaven knows she won’t send Axel out there, so no one can tell who’s going to go next.”

“Shit.” Rue’s stomach tightened at the thought of any of her friends being sent off into the unknown at her enemy’s whim. “Why isn’t Gladio helping?”

“Gladio’s priority is Noctis; it always has been. The only reason he’s ever in Glaive business is to teach us new skills that Rayne needs assistance with or to give us pep talks about the importance of protecting the king. It’s  _especially_ important now that the world’s gone to hell  _and_ there’s no chance of an heir anytime soon.” He sighed. “And I’m guessing you know why Ignis can’t help.”

“He’s drowning in work even with me there,” she huffed, shaking her head. “What are they thinking with that, by the way? The guy’s a  _genius_ and they have him locked up doing paperwork.”

“I don’t know,” Eren admitted. “I think Cor decided he could take over Ignis’s duties while Ignis fixed up all their data and shit, but the job turned out to be much bigger than it was supposed to be.”

“Still, they need to start dividing that up. What the hell is Prompto’s job? Professional friend?”

“Basically,” he scoffed. “He’s supposed to be in charge of the city administration, whatever that is. It’s not like there’s much of a city to administer.”

“Nope.” Rue frowned. “Why can’t he help out then?”

“Probably doesn’t want to.”

“Or he doesn’t know how.”

“That too,” Eren shrugged.

“I dunno, Prompto just doesn’t strike me as the lazy type.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he pointed out. “You’re his friend, not me.”

“Right…” Rue tried to see any sign of irritation on his face, but there was nothing. He simply looked lost in his head. Before she could speak, he took a deep breath and took hold of the hand that was resting in her lap. He watched his thumb roll over her bony knuckles as he spoke.

“Are you… going to tell me what happened?” Upon hearing no response, he looked up quickly. “I mean, you really don’t have to, I just didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it.”

“I…” Rue sighed, staring at the moving pictures on her TV screen. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t know if I  _can._ I just, y’know, want to wait until we’re way past this, and then maybe I’ll tell you. If that makes any sense…?”

“I can wait,” he nodded, letting the room fall into a comfortable silence. He understood, and even if he didn’t, he was willing to try. Rue felt a weight lift off her chest. It was overwhelmingly relieving to know that he wasn’t going to push her past her boundaries.

“So… What are the odds that you wind up at this post? Like, how are you chosen?” she asked, returning to their former topic.

“Random chance,” he sighed, turning his body toward her. “It all depends on who pops into Rayne’s head when she decides to replace the missing piece.”

“I can’t get over that,” Rue scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. To think that at any moment Eren could be ripped away from her forever… Even if this “relationship” didn’t work out, there was nothing she would cherish more than the connection they shared. And if Rayne tore that out of her hands and threw it out… She shook her head, biting on the inside of her cheek.

“But there’s no use worrying about it,” Eren pointed out. “What happens, happens. Maybe I’ll get lucky.”

“Maybe.”

“Listen, I know I said I’d let you take your time, but last night I got to thinking,” he admitted. Rue’s stomach churned.  _Curiosity got the better of him._ “Does that girl… Does she have anything to do with your husband?”

“I wish she didn’t,” Rue huffed, staring long and hard at a stain on the edge of his collar. “Okay, fine. You want to know who she is?”

“I said you could take your—”

“Yeah, but I think I need to at least explain the  _husband_  part.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Eren.” Rue raised her eyebrows, silencing him. She slouched back against the couch cushions. “Let me see… He was about five years older; we met when I was sixteen.”

“Oops.” Eren cringed. “He sounds kinda creepy.”

“Yeah, he was, kind of. He was one of those hipster dudes with the flannels and the man buns and what not. I thought he was hot, and he was obviously into younger girls, so I took it.” Rue laughed in disbelief at her own actions. “I was an  _idiot._ I thought that boy was  _so_ in love with me. He was high as a kite for ninety percent of our relationship; I don’t think he could even remember my name some days.” She rolled her eyes, glancing down at her arm, which was once stained with the pricks of a hundred needles.

“He got me using whatever drugs that he was addicted to, and before I knew it, I’d dropped out of school altogether my last year. And then,” she huffed, recalling the bitter memory, “I decided to move in with him when I turned eighteen. My dad—I didn’t ever meet my mom—didn’t take too kindly to that. Told me that if I left, he’d never speak to me again. And, to his credit, he stuck with that. We never talked again.”

“What was this guy’s name?”

“Casper.” The word was spit from her mouth as if the taste alone was enough to poison her. “We got married a few years later because I was still hopelessly in love and he didn’t give two shits what happened in his life as long as he could still get high.”

“What happened to him?”

“I think you could make a good guess,” Rue huffed, picking at the cat hair on the couch. “I realized he didn’t care about me, it ticked me off, along with a few other things, and I killed him and his drug dealer cousin.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Eren admitted, laughing nervously. Rue shrugged.

“I don’t either. It’s just the way it is, and I wish I could change it all. I made one stupid mistake that would have ruined my entire life if, in some fucked up, cliché way, the Darkness hadn’t given me another chance.”

“But at least you took it,” he pointed out, reaching forward to tuck her loose hair behind her ear. She took hold of his hand, smiling faintly. “I don’t see you  _shooting up_ right now.”

“You don’t know what I do in my free time,” she teased.

“Probably starve,” he muttered with a scoff. She frowned, though she was quick to try to brush the comment off. It echoed in the back of her mind. “And torture that cat.”

“Excuse you, I’m very respectful of her space.”

“I’m honestly surprised.”

“Looks like I’ve been with two assholes in my time.”

“ _Hey,_ low blow!” he cried, jabbing her ribs. She laughed, pulling away from his poking fingers that  _almost_ tickled. “Fuck you!”

“No, fuck  _you,_ asshole!” She squealed when his fingers dug in again, falling onto her back. He crawled forward, looming over her. She raised an eyebrow as his glasses slid down the bridge of his nose.

“Not to be predictable, but yeah, you could.”

“Oh my  _god,”_ she groaned, rolling her eyes. She couldn’t help but snicker. “You look like a librarian.”

“Like a sexy librarian?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“ _No,_ like an old man librarian.”

“Well, shit, I’m  _younger_ than you.”

“Really?” she asked under her breath, knowing full well that he was, and pulled his glasses off his face, folding them up and setting them on the coffee table.

“Hell yeah,” he scoffed. “You’re the old one here.”

“Got a problem with that?”

“Not at all,” Eren grinned.

He was obviously growing impatient. Rolling her eyes again, she dug her fingers into the hair at the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss that lasted much longer than she expected. Her hands roamed, trying to memorize what they couldn’t when she was so drunk she was seeing stars. With the threat of Rayne’s mysterious death-post on the horizon, resisting sentimentality was the least she could do. 

She closed her eyes and cherished every moment instead, fighting the pit of dread that Eren had scooped out with his news. The memory of Casper teased the recesses of her mind, making her heart flutter for no reason she could place other than Eren’s touch. She gritted her teeth and banished his face from her mind’s eye. Even after death, he would never stop pulling her puppet strings from the dark, would he?

 


	22. Always Downhill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Trauma" by NF

_~7 years before~_

_“How was your day?” Rue asked cheerfully, stirring the macaroni and cheese in the pot before her. The coils of stove glowed red hot, coated in the same fine layer of grime as the rest of the house. Her belly was swollen, peeking out from beneath her tight tank top and her free hand rested on top fondly. The front door closed with a shriek, the thump of kicked boots hit her ears, and the shuffle of a jacket signaled an impending conversation. She looked over shoulder to the tall, scrawny man that stood at the door, hanging a heavy, patched jacket on the rusted hook before him._

_“What do you think?” Casper replied with a huff, brushing the long, wispy hair that had escaped the bun on his head out of his face. He scratched at the scruffy hair that was growing in on his face and shoved a hand into the pocket of his ripped jeans._

_“Rick on your ass again?” she guessed, plating the stale pasta. He scoffed, heading to the kitchen to join her. His hands wrapped around her midsection, fastening over the front of her stretched stomach. She winced as his bony chin dug into her shoulder. He smelled like cigarette smoke, which she supposed was desirable compared to the alternatives._

_“When isn’t he?”_

_“Right?” Rue lifted the spoon she’d used to dish out their dinner, turning her head to meet Casper’s curious gaze. “You wanna lick it off?”_

_“This my dinner?” Rue snorted and rolled her eyes, leaning into his kiss._

_“No. Just put it in the sink when you’re done.”_

_Casper huffed, taking the dented spoon and placing on top of the pile of dirty dishes that had accumulating for weeks. Flies crawled between plates and bowls and cups, preferring the moisture and warmth of their home to the cold outside. Turning away from the scene as though it was a normal part of his daily routine, he plucked a plastic fork off the edge of the counter and took the fuller of the two plates to the couch. Rue followed like a lost puppy._

_“How was **your** guys’ day?”_

_“Well, we woke up at noon,” Rue started, smiling to herself at his attention. “And then we took a nice, long bath after cleaning out the tub. And **then** we had lunch—”_

_“Which was?”_

_“Two apples and a **lot** of peanut butter.”_

_“Of course.”_

_“And then we waited for Daddy to come home.”_

_“Is that what you both call me?”_

_“Casper,” Rue rolled her eyes, shoveling her dinner into her mouth. Casper’s cocky smile fell and he went back to eating, staring at the denim jacket that was hung by the door._

_“You should really be doing more around the house when I’m at work.”_

_“What?”_

_“Y’know.” He swallowed his mouthful of food, gesturing with his fork. “Like clean the place up for me?” He reached forward and pinched the back of her arm; she jerked it away, frowning. “And, I mean, no offense, but you’re getting kinda big. Maybe do some maternity exercises or something.” Rue felt each word stab through her heart like a knife. She lived to please this man who’d swept her off her feet and saved her from her over-controlling father, and she’d failed to do that much._

_“I’m sorry, I’ll try to keep it cleaner. It’s just harder to get down on the floor when I can’t bend—”_

_“Yeah, yeah. You’re just losing all your muscle. Figure it out.” He turned to face her, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. “And I’d appreciate if you don’t freak out, because I’m not some douche who can’t provide for his own family, but I quit today.”_

_“You **quit?!”** Rue straightened so quickly that her plate, which was balanced on the rough arm of the sofa, fell to the floor and shattered across the concrete. “How the hell are we going to pay the bills, Casper?”_

_“I’ll get another job. Just push the bills back.” He took another bite, pulling out a cracked, jumbled mess of a phone that was hardly clinging to life. Rue couldn’t believe her ears, leaping to her feet and nearly slicing her skin open on the shards of glass._

_“We’re months behind!”_

_“Then get a job!” he shouted, standing sharply, still clinging to his fork. “Do something useful for once in your goddamn life!” Rue, startled, stared at him with wide eyes, somehow made wider by her pale color. “Look, I’m sorry, I’m stressed enough about it, okay?”_

_“I get that,” Rue reassured him as he sat slowly. “But this is the third job in six weeks. What are you going to do when word gets out that no one can keep you?”_

_“It’s not my problem that they’re all assholes,” he grumbled, focused on the texts he was receiving._

_“Who are you texting?”_

_“Why does it matter?”_

_“You just **cut off** our finances when we have a baby on the way, insulted me, and  **now** you want to shut up?” Casper shot her a nasty glare._

_“It’s Gray. Is that **okay?”**_

_“You’re thinking about getting **high** when you need to go out and find a job tomorrow?” Rue demanded incredulously, crossing her arms. Casper, springing back to his feet, rushed to get in her face._

_“ **Yes** , I am. Get off my ass.” He jabbed a finger into her belly. “And keep your paws off this time. Wouldn’t want a repeat of the last one.”_

_“ **Fuck**   **off.** ” Rue gritted, ignoring the shuddering of her heart as she recalled the pain of her miscarriage._

_“Yeah? You wanna be like that?” Casper hissed with a sarcastic smile. “Get. Out.”_

_“Where the hell do I go?” Rue shouted, shoving him away from her._

_“Anywhere. Shit, go sell yourself to the junkies just like you used to!” Casper’s hands curled into fists and then slowly released. “ **I** pay the rent,  **I** buy off the landlord,  **I** keep Gray happy.  **Me.** You get that?”_

_“Sure,” Rue muttered, pushing past him to get to their room and shove her things into a bag. All she got was a few wrinkled items of clothing before she felt someone grasp her elbow. Gritting out a sort of throaty, strangled cry, she tried to throw him off, but he was already dragging her toward the door._

_“I said **out.** ”_

_“ **Let go!”**_

_“Out.”_

_Casper shoved her out the squeaky door of their shithole of a house on the edge of the poorest sector of town before slamming it in her face. Rue threw herself at the door, pounding until her hands bruised and screaming until her throat was hoarse. Finally, choking on pained sobs, she grabbed her half-zipped duffel bag and stormed off down the street, ignoring the stares of the strange people that surrounded them. Most, if not all, of them had been in one drug-related fiasco or another._

_She walked until her feet were blistered, her fair skin was burnt, and her legs ached. She walked until she reached her father’s condo, knocking with reddened knuckles and trembling with rage. His neighbors watched in shock as the dingy, heavily pregnant young woman knocked again, louder this time. Her phone, with only a few minutes of battery life left, vibrated in the pocket of her jeans. She picked up with shaking hands._

_“Hel—”_

_“Leave.”_

_“Dad, please, I need—”_

_“No. Leave now or I’m calling the authorities.”_

_“Just listen!”_

_“I told you that if you left with that boy we’d be done. It’s finished.”_

_“You’re still my **father**!”_

_“And you’re an adult. Admit your own wrongs and fix it yourself.”_

_“Dad—!”_

_The line buzzed. He was gone. With a frustrated scream, she kicked his door with the tip of her holey shoe and turned on her heels, stomping out of the building before security dragged her to the curb by her hair. She crossed the road and entered an alleyway filled with trash and puddles of water that stewed in the potholes in the pavement. She fell to the ground, pressing her back to the brick wall and staring up at the darkening sky. **What the hell do we do now?**_

“Rue!” Cam shouted, peering over the stack of boxes that were piled high in his arms. Rue ignored him, shoulders squared as Cor watched with a deep-set frown. After Ignis brought his “evidence” to the King’s attention, the Captain was swiftly removed from his position. Two days after his attempt at Rue, he was cleaning out his office, forced to be gone by night. “Hey!”

“Let her be,” Cor grumbled, arms crossed. He was obviously unhappy about his nephew’s actions, but apparently, he’d been known to do such things before the Dawn.  _I guess the Darkness didn’t change everyone._

“Rue, I need a hand.”

“Ask someone who’s not busy,” she replied coldly, reaching for Ignis’s door. He stopped at her side, gritting his teeth.

“We gotta talk.”

“Do we?” She scowled at him, but her hand pulled away from the doorknob. He nodded, his eyes fixed earnestly on hers. Her lips pressed together firmly, but she nodded back, taking a box off the top of the stack that was straining the muscles in his arms.

“C’mon.”

Rue exchanged a look with Cor before turning to follow, her left ankle wobbling on its tall hall unsteadily. She doubted she’d ever get good at walking on stilts, but at least it helped make her a bit more presentable. The clothes she’d bought with Cam’s money definitely helped as well, but she refused to believe he gave it out of the goodness of his heart and the urge to fulfill a secretary fantasy. There had to be something more. In the parking garage, they headed toward a  _very_ expensive-looking car. Rue rolled her eyes; of  _course_ he drove something like that.

“Here, I’ll take that,” Cam said, pulling the box out of her hands and shoving it into his overcrowded backseat. Rue hugged her arms to her body, suddenly feeling as though she shouldn’t have followed this man into a dark garage alone.

“If this is about the money, I can—”

“It’s not.” He straightened, rubbing the back of his neck. It was odd seeing him without his armored uniform. Finally, he turned to face her. “That was a gift; no catch, if you can believe it. I’ve… done some awful #$%^ to you, but I really did want to see you do well.”  _Fuck_ _off._

“Why am I here, then?” Rue bit the urge to make a bitter assault joke.

“I need to talk to you.”

“You already said that,” she retorted. “So talk.”

“Damn, you’re getting bold,” he laughed nervously. “Listen, I know no one’s talked about this in a while, but about those kids… Remember them? The ones who attacked?”

“Of course I do, Cam, I  _killed_ one of them.”

“Right, I almost forgot. Well, I got put on looking into that, and I think I know where they’re located.”

“What’s this have to do with me?”

“They’ve been quiet,” Cam pointed out in disbelief as if he couldn’t understand why she didn’t care. “Doesn’t that put you on edge? From what I’ve gathered, it just a group of kids with someone older at its head who wants to see the King’s reputation, and maybe his life, crumble.” He moved to grab her shoulder and she stepped away with a glower. Awkwardly crossing his arms, he continued. “Listen, everything’s in my notes; I’m leaving them on my database. The password is ‘captaininsomnia,’ all one word, all lowercase.”

“What the hell kind of…?” Rue muttered, raising an eyebrow. “Why aren’t you telling the next person who’s getting put on this?”

“Because that’s going to take time, and we don’t have that. I promise you, Rue, you won’t regret looking into that.” He shrugged, shaking his head. “Please, Rue, I’m begging you to just give it a chance. If you solve this, Rayne might not hate you anymore.”

Most of Rue wanted to believe that he was lying, trying to get someone inside to finish his work so that, when everything was over, he could leap into the spotlight and declare his victory in order to revive the King’s favor. The smallest sliver of her whispered that he was being honest, that he truly wanted to see the city rebuilt to what it was before, to see Noctis rule as well as, or even better than, his father. Something told her that the quieter option was right, but her spirit was a democracy, and the majority vote won. Glaring into the eyes she once saw as gentle and spirited, she turned on her heels, heading toward the garage door.

“Go to Hell, Cameron.”

She half expected him to protest, perhaps even grab hold of her. No such thing happened. She forced herself to keep her eyes forward, but she took his silence as dejection—as victory. No way would she  _ever_  be the one to do his dirty work. She’d leave his project as incomplete as his respect for her. Only once she was safe inside did she heave a sigh of relief, hurrying to Ignis’s office with quick, giddy steps. Finally, she felt as though she’d defeated something.

“I heard you disappeared with Cameron,” Ignis said, standing behind his desk. His brows were furrowed and he had the slightest frown on his lips, but it was one rotted more in concern than in anger. Rue paused, closing the door behind her. “Was everything alright?”

“Y’know, I kind of expected some sort of ‘last hurrah’ act, but there was nothing.” She huffed, crossing her arms. “Not even an apology.”

“Don’t take it too personally,” Ignis sighed, touching his glasses to push them further up his face. “He was spoiled; there was no need for an apology when forgiveness was bestowed before the crime.”

“I guess not,” she muttered, falling into the seat before his desk, looking around his office carefully for the umpteenth time. “This might be deigned too personal, but I take it you weren’t spoiled rotten as a kid.”

“Life was… comfortable, to be sure,” Ignis replied, nodding and watching as she stood suddenly and passed him to look out the broad windows behind his desk. Her sudden lack of concern for appearances threw him for a moment, but he couldn’t say he was offended by the action. Finally, she appeared to be getting comfortable. “But I became the official advisor to His Majesty at the age of six, training under—”

“ _Six!?”_ Rue turned sharply to face him, shocked. “I knew you were young, but  _damn_ _._ ”

“Yes, well, preparations start early,” he replied smoothly, resting his hands low on his hips, watching her like a hawk as her fingers trailed across the perfectly clean window sill. “I was rushed through my schooling in order to serve the Crown as soon as possible. I had everything I could ever need, and yet, it was never easy.”

“Funny how life works like that,” Rue muttered, smiling over at him. Her smile faltered. “I know that Noctis’s mother died fairly early on, but… What about your parents?”

“I can hardly recall a memory,” Ignis answered coolly, though there was a crease in his brow that she couldn’t ignore. “It was my uncle that brought me here for my duties.”

“Your father wasn’t part of the retainers?”

“No, and I won’t lie; I don’t have a reason as to why.”

“Hm.” She watched the busy cars drive in all directions. Finally, she spotted Cam’s flashy vehicle speeding away, relieved when he headed in the opposite direction of her apartment complex. Of course, he wouldn’t stay in that poor man’s shelter—he had “too much money” and it “made him uncomfortable.” How could she forget? Still, she couldn't help but be relieved that he didn't live near her. 

“It’s only fair that I ask the same in return,” Ignis spoke up, breaking the silence. She frowned, unaware that he could see her expression in the reflection on the glass. “Unless it’s too sensitive a topic.”

“No, no, it’s not,” she shook her head, turning around and leaning back against the window sill, gripping the smooth marble with her cold fingers. “I never knew my mother, and my father, who raised me, never told me what happened to her. He was one of those really proud guys who could never admit to any bad things in his life.” She scoffed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “He worked two manager jobs at two different grocery stores to keep us under a roof, but it was barely enough. For some reason, he had all his clothes from his childhood, so I went to school in boy’s clothes most of my life.”

“You couldn’t afford your own?”

“Well, that’s what I thought,” she huffed. “I came to find out in secondary that he was hoarding it all when he bought some fancy condo. I was working my ass off to feed myself at that point because he was always gone on business trips—he became CEO of some electronics company—and here he was buying off women and living a second life across the world.”

“You resent him.” The words were clearly a statement; Ignis had her figured out before she could speak another word. At least, he thought so.

“Yeah, I do. He’s dead, though, so I guess I can’t hate him too much.” She shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. “From there…? Oh, yeah. I’m not nearly as smart as you, and my grades showed it, especially after I ran away with some guy who was old enough to know better than to hang around high schools. I dropped out at seventeen and never looked back.”

“I noticed your surname was different from your original documents,” Ignis admitted, crossing his arms loosely and leaning against his desk. Rue had to admit; the sudden casual conversation was odd, but it wasn’t unwelcome. “You married him?”

“Yeah,” she scoffed, flashing a sardonic smile. “Can you believe it? Worst decision I ever made. Got me mixed up in all that criminal activity that put me on the Glaive’s radar in the first place. I’m sure a genius like you doesn’t need me to say he and his drug dealer are the two murders on my record.”  _Gods, Rue, quit stroking his ego._

“Yes, but,” Ignis started, tilting his head forward, “you managed to get yourself free from that life. That’s more than most can say for themselves.”

“Most? Have you seen the Kingsglaive recently?” she teased. “I know for a  _fact_ that one of those chicks killed her own mother in cold blood.”

“Am I wrong in assuming that you killed your own father, then?”  _Damn_ _, you thought that I…?_

“He died during the Imperial assault on Insomnia,” she sighed, shrugging one shoulder. “So, yeah, you are. Guess you’re not as smart as I thought.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.” Ignis glanced at his black computer screen and sighed. “I suppose there’s not much else we can complete today. Thanks to your assistance, I’ve caught up rather quickly.”

“You seriously have to do all that data entry on your own?”

“Not any longer, but before you came, yes.” His green eyes flitted over the open notebook on his desk before he reached forward to close it. “There were many late nights that I spent in this room. I’ve been able to get to bed at a decent hour for the past few weeks, and for that, I give you my thanks.” There was something light in his tone that made Rue smile as she headed for her jacket. He eyed the large item of clothing curiously. “Forgive my prodding, but I have another assumption for you.”

“Shoot,” she replied, shoving her hands deep into the denim pockets.

“That jacket is your former husband's.”

“Yeah, well.” She smiled a bit too sweetly, fondly tucking her chin beneath the collar. “It’s comfortable and he doesn’t need it anymore. If anything, having a trophy boosts my ego.”

“Of course.” Ignis looked back down at his notebook, but his frown had returned. Rue silently wished that she’d bitten her tongue.

~|~|~|~|~

“Honey, I’m home!” Rue cried rather loudly, closing the door behind her.  _I've always wanted to do that._

She wasn’t even sure if Eren was there, or if he was, why he kept staying the night. He’d only slept in his own house once since Saturday; she couldn’t understand why he was still in her apartment. Was he really  _that_ scared that she’d turn on him if he didn’t show his face? Sighing, she shook her head and walked into the kitchen.  _Whatever; it’s not like I mind all that much._ Besides, she was in a good mood for once, and all she wanted was a glass of wine and a movie.

“Took you long enough,” Eren said, appearing from the narrow hallway that led to her room. He had the strap of a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. Rue immediately felt her heart sink upon realizing that he was  _actually_ leaving and that she would be alone again, but she recalled her happiness easily. “Long day?”

“You wouldn’t understand even if I explained,” she huffed, pulling a wine bottle down and working her corkscrew with all the muscle she could manage. Puffing a short, amused laugh, Eren set his bag down by the door and entered the kitchen, resting a hand on her hip and pressing his lips onto her cheek. He rested his chin on her shoulder while he watched her tug at the cork.

“I saw Schrader leaving today.”

“Yeah?”

“Guess he was caught for a bunch of sexual assaults and bribery stuff.”

“Cor was pissed.”

“Understandably.”

Finally, she got the bottle open and poured herself a big glass, taking a long drink before turning to face him, eyebrow raised. He raised his back.

“He’s the one who hurt you.”

“Maybe,” she muttered into her glass, taking another sip. He shook his head, looking around the small, dimly lit kitchen.

“I knew it the second I saw him packing his shit. I wanted to put that guy through a meat grinder.”

“Do they have those at the Citadel?”

“Ask Ignis,” he mumbled, looking back at her. “Anyway… I feel like garbage for not realizing sooner. You doing alright?”

“I’m fine,” she nodded, lying through her teeth.  _It’s not the first time._

“Okay.” He cocked his head toward his bag, pushing his glasses up. “I, uh, figured it was time I stopped squatting in your apartment. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Any time,” she teased, smiling with the rim of the wine glass resting on her bottom lip. He shook his head, his hair bouncing with the motion.

“I’ll leave you to it, then. See ya soon?”

“If you play your cards right.”

“Right,” he laughed, kissing her forehead and heading to the door. She gave a single, silent wave as he left, the resounding thud of her front door closing serving as the start of her sentence to solitude.

Shaking her head, Rue grabbed a spare blanket from the shelf above her washer and fell onto the couch, turning to tug the curtains shut. It was pitch black outside, but the glare from the city’s lights would likely disrupt her movie. Humming an old song from a musical she couldn’t name, she scrolled through the movies available to her through her cable subscription, finally settling on one she’d meant to watch before. Before she started, she got back up to shut off all the lights and lock the front door, bringing the wine bottle back with her to top her glass off.  _Finally,_ she thought as she settled in, taking another drink.

The film lasted longer than she expected, and she got distracted by her phone several times during the slow parts. Her eyelids grew heavier as time dragged on, and while she couldn’t say she disliked the movie, she didn’t enjoy it much either. Finally, the credits rolled, and she was too tired from the combination of boredom, darkness, and alcohol to get up. She heaved a sigh and burled up on her couch cushions, easily drifting off.

A strange sound woke her up hardly an hour later. There was a gentle noise coming from the front of her apartment; it sounded like metal scraping metal. Frowning, she tried to ignore it, but the noise persisted, accompanied by the occasional click. Suddenly, her heart skipped a beat as she realized the sound was coming from her front door.  _What the hell…?_ Why would someone be picking her lock? She wasn’t exactly worth robbing.

With her drowsiness long gone, Rue scrambled to her feet, kicking off her blanket and heading toward the door. The sound was definitely coming from her lock. Before she had more time to consider her options, it clicked loudly. A gun was in her hand before she could think, aimed straight at the door. Her heart was pounding by this point, her breaths quick and sharp, and her hands were trembling from the adrenaline. Slowly, the door slid open, allowing a crack of light from the hallway to enter.

Her heart caught in her throat as she saw a dark, shadowy figure, hardly her height, hulking in the doorway. Whoever it was must have seen her because, without further warning, the door was thrown open and a shooting, burning pain burst from her shoulder. Blinded by panic, she squeezed the trigger, the loud pop of her gunshot echoing through the entire wing of the apartment building. Another shadow appeared as the first fell and she shot again, twice this time, wide-eyed and shaking like a leaf as the two figures collapsed into her doorway, blood pouring across the tile and pooling around the shoes that were strewn about there.

Keeping her gun aimed at them, she hurried to the left to turn on the lights, her hand fumbling over the wall as she searched for a switch. The sudden brightness nearly blinded her, but she hardly felt the pain, staring hard at the two people that laid dead on her floor. Two young girls, dressed head to toe in black, baggy clothing, each equipped with guns of their own.  _This has to be a fucking dream._  No matter how hard she pinched, she couldn’t wake up.

Her shoulder began to throb, but she was too busy chasing thoughts around her head to care.  _How do they know where I live? Have they been following me?_ She swallowed hard, turning to look for her phone.  _Did they follow **Eren?**_ The sound of footsteps broke her from her thoughts and she turned to see a crowd of her neighbors gathering. She couldn’t find words to explain what happened to the gawking people.

“What the hell is g—" The owner of the apartment building, who happened to live on the very same floor, stopped in her tracks, staring at the bodies with a pale face. Everyone jumped when Rue’s gun hit the floor with a clatter. She felt like she was going to throw up. “Gods, what did you  _do_? Who are these people?”

“I d-don’t know,” Rue stammered, clutching her bleeding shoulder. “They broke in and shot me, it was all I could do to—”

“You don’t have to make excuses,” the woman interrupted, brushing past a young girl that clung to her father, eyeing the teens with horror. Rue watched her landlord, whose name she finally recalled to be Audrey, step over the assailants and turn to assess the damage. Scowling, she waved the crowd away. “Get outta here, all of you. We’ll figure this out alone.”

“What if they come after us?” the man with the child demanded. “What then?”

“I—” Rue stopped herself, thinking her words through. “My line of work makes me a target. You’ll all be okay.”

“What the  _hell_ does that mean?” he retorted. “What’s your work?”

“I—”

“ _Leave!”_ Audrey bellowed. Quickly, the gathering dissipated. With a sigh, she turned to Rue. “I’ve heard about these kids hitting the Citadel. You work with the King?”

“Sort of.”

“Makes sense, then.” She knelt before one of the girls, brushing her hair aside to reveal a dark mark on the back of her neck, a simple circle that looked like it had been carved in. “They all have this, I’ve noticed.”

“You’ve… noticed?”

“I’ve got a curiosity the news can’t fulfill,” she admitted, standing. “Listen, I know you won’t feel safe here, but these kids won’t make another move on you like this now that you’ve proven to be a stronger wall than they realized.”

“Okay,” she frowned, staring at the mess. The scent of blood was starting to make her sick.

“You got somewhere to go while I get this cleaned up?”

“I…” Rue could hardly even remember her own name—it was a wonder she remembered Audrey’s. “Y-yeah.”

“Alright. Soon as you’re outta here, I’ll have some guys take care of this. I’ll shoot you a text when they’re done, okay?”

“Yeah.”

With her heart still pounding but her body numb, she turned and headed toward her phone, grimacing at her bloody fingers. She was surprised that no one mentioned her wounds. Her thumb hesitated over Eren’s number. What would he do? Would he force her to stay inside, quit her job, be imprisoned in his home until the threat was gone? Would this ruin them? Rue chewed her cheek anxiously. Where the hell else— _Oh._ She scrolled to Ignis’s contact, mulling it over.  _No, that’s stupid, I can’t bother my **boss** to let me stay the night because I’m having an internal dilemma._ She pressed on the screen to scroll, but her phone accepted the tap as confirmation, and the dialing tone struck up.  _Shit_ _!_

Rue quickly picked up her phone to cancel the call, fumbling clumsily, but it was too late. He’d see that she’d called him in the dead of night, and without an explanation… Damn, would it look bizarre. She couldn’t decide what to do quickly enough; the tone ended abruptly.

“Rue?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she hissed under her breath, earning a confused stare from Audrey. Ignoring her, she took a deep breath and answered,  _despising_ the way her voice trembled. “Yeah, hi. Sorry for calling so late, I really didn’t mean to.”

“… You accidentally called at two in the morning?”

“Well, I didn’t mean to call  _you._ ”

“Is everything alright?” Ignis’s voice was a mixture of confusion and drowsiness.  _He must keep his ringer on for Noctis, like some sort of kingly booty call._ Rue rolled her eyes.  _Now is not the time._

“I, uh… Y’know, not really.”

“Rue, I hate to interrupt, but we really gotta get moving if you don’t want to pay for new flooring,” Audrey pressed, looking impatient. Clearly, her greed was unfazed by the dead bodies of children.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“Pardon?”  _No turning back now._

“Listen, Ignis, I have a weird request,” Rue muttered. “Can I, uh, sleep on your couch tonight?” There was silence. “I’ll explain later, I just really need somewhere to go and I—”

“Of course.” His words were more an expression of understanding and the desire to shut her up than one of ‘oh, yes, anything you need!’, but she wasn’t complaining.

“I’m really sorry. Let me just pack some things and I’ll head over.”

“Rue, I’m not letting you walk alone at this time of night,” Audrey cut in. “And if you’re talking to the goddamn advisor to the king, he better—”

“Please, Audrey, I’ll be fine,” Rue hissed, but Ignis had heard enough.

“Give me your address.”

“Ignis, really, I don’t want to disturb you, I just need—”

“It would be more of a disruption to have my employee die on the streets of Insomnia than to drive to your home,” he replied.  _What the hell am I doing?_ “Not to mention that it would be a waste of time for me to have gotten into my vehicle.”  _He’s already in his car?_ Rue wished she could pound her head against the wall until she turned to pulp.

“Fine. I live at Caelum Cove. The obnoxious building by the Citadel? Do you need anything else?”

“No. I should be there soon.”

“Th—” The line buzzed, dead. Rue sighed, burying her face in her hands.  _Fuck_ _._

“Better get ready, kid,” Audrey muttered, crossing her arms. “Sounds like you got a storm brewin’.”

“More like a hurricane,” Rue huffed, staring at her cellphone.  _Why the **fuck** did I just do that?_

 


	23. Turning Tides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Survive" by Madilyn Bailey

“I’m really sorry,” Rue said right off the bat, her voice pleading Ignis not to be pissed at her. He said nothing in return, taking the backpack from her hands and pushing it into the backseat. “I really didn’t mean to bother you. I was going to call Eren and my hand slipped, I swear.”

“I’m not going to fire you, if that’s what you’re fearing.”

His words startled her. What the hell kind of response was that?  _Not going to fire me my ass._

“Still, I hate to be an inconvenience.”

“That’s the way things are,” he replied curtly, straightening to face her. “Get in.”

“Right,” Rue whispered, hurrying to get into the passenger’s seat. The car started quietly and they pulled out onto the street, which was virtually dead.

“Care to explain the hole in your arm?”

“Oh, I, uh…” Rue glanced down at her shoulder. It hadn’t even hurt until he mentioned it.  _Shit_ _._ “Remember those kids that kept showing up at the Citadel a few weeks ago?”

“Weeks?” Ignis murmured, but she didn’t hear him. As far as he knew, they’d continued to attack at random intervals and Schrader, who was in charge of cleaning up the mess, had made no drastic moves to stop them.

“I fell asleep on my couch and I heard someone fiddling with the locks,” she explained, slouching in her seat. Ignis bit back the urge to tell her to sit up straight. “They opened the door and I saw two of the kids standing there. I didn’t really know what to do, but one of them shot me and I shot back.”

“Did they get away?” Ignis asked, unsure as to why she had decided to become  _his_ burden for the evening. After taking near hours to fall asleep, he was rudely awoken by the blaring tone of his cellphone. Assuming it was Noctis, he was confused to see Rue’s name on the screen, and rightfully so. He couldn’t recall a single time they’d sent more than a formal text to one another.

“Well, there’s a reason I can’t be in my apartment tonight,” she sighed, watching the street lights flash past. “Namely, they’re lying dead in the middle of my doorway and my landlord doesn’t want the floors to get stained.”

“You’ve been removed from your home because of the carpets?” Ignis repeated, frowning. The priorities of some people easily turned him off to most. He’d heard a woman’s voice droning in the background of the call; that must have been the owner that removed her resident for floor polish.

“She’s never had anything more on the brain than money,” Rue shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

“Regardless, she was wise enough not to let you walk alone at this hour,” he pointed out, glancing up into his rearview mirror when he saw a light flash. It was merely another car turning another direction.

The idea of the Citadel’s minor annoyance breaking into his assistant’s home to assassinate her bothered him far more than one would expect. However, if they were willing to pick off one mere girl who hardly had any dealings with royalty, at what point would they be willing to dream bigger and attack the King himself? Needless to say, the idea put him on edge.

“I’m worried,” Rue admitted, breaking the silence. “They’ve probably been following me all this time, which means they’ve seen Eren leave.”  _Eren?_ Ignis’s brow furrowed. Perhaps his senses had been right, then, when they told him those two were certainly more than mere friends. “What if they go after  _him?”_

“As a glaive, Eren can handle himself, I’m certain,” he answered coolly, though internally he was conflicted. How long should he wait before informing the Crownsguard? Everything about this attack was unnerving. Whether those rebels thought Rue might fight back or not, it was certainly a bold move to break into her home and kill her there, especially in a place so heavily guard with— _That’s it._ “… They didn’t expect to make it out alive,” Ignis murmured. Rue frowned, glancing over at him.

“What?”

“It must have been a warning,” he explained, still unaware that he was keeping his voice low as he collected his thoughts aloud. “In every single attack, they’ve had near-perfect accuracy with their aim. You’re hardly worth much to them—”

“Gee, thanks,” she scoffed.

“—due to your lack of contact with the Crown. However, by boldly entering the facility in which you live where they could clearly be seen by cameras and those wandering late at night and leaving you as a surviving witness, they sent a message.”

“What message?” Rue pressed, uncertain. Ignis glanced over at her, touching his glasses to adjust their height.

“That perhaps soon they’ll be aiming higher.”

Through the corner of his eye, he saw Rue shudder before reaching forward to turn the air vents away from her. Her eyes turned back to the outside, her fingers toying with the fabric of her sweatpants thoughtfully. As they pulled into his driveway, she spoke.

“Y’know, I never imagined the shit I’d get mixed up in when I first started working at the Citadel.”

“Serving the Crown is messy,” Ignis replied, getting out of the car. “Even one raised outside the walls would be expected to understand that.”

“Yeah, well, from the outside the Crownsguard just looks like a bunch of glorified guards,” Rue admitted, opening the back door to pull out her bag. She gritted her teeth when her shoulder screamed under the weight, forcing herself to bear the pain and follow him inside the home she’d left just a few days prior. “Thanks again.”

“Of course,” Ignis nodded. She began to wonder if that was his automatic response to everything, grilled into his big brain as the appropriate answer to any situation. Maybe it was just something his uncle used to say.

“So, uh, I’ll just—”

“You are permitted to make use of my restroom if need be,” he interrupted, though he hardly seemed aware that she’d started to speak. “I’ll prepare some bedding for you.”

“You really don’t have to,” Rue replied, pleading him to just let it be. “I brought warm clothes so you wouldn’t have to get any blankets out.”

“Regardless, I’d rather you be comfortable than freeze.” He looked offended at the prospect of leaving his guest to fend for herself.

“Okay. Thanks.” She grabbed her smaller bag of toiletries and hurried toward his bedroom door. “I’ll be quick, I swear.”

And she made good of her word, scrubbing her teeth as fast as she could and practically gouging her eye out while she tried to remove her contacts (which she hated to admit she’d fallen asleep wearing—again). She splashed some water over her wound, gritting her teeth.  _What the hell do I do about that, huh?_ Huffing, she ruffled her hair, which really needed a good wash, though she felt using Ignis’s shower was a bit too far, and switched off the light. With quick steps, she returned to the living room, startled to see Ignis at the kitchen table with a first aid kit.

“Did you think you would sleep this off?” he asked in reply to her confused stare. Sighing, she started to walk toward him.

“I can just drink a potion and be done with it.”

“Not with a bullet still inside.”

“I’ve done it before,” she shrugged. Ignis sighed, waiting impatiently for her to comply.

“If you truly felt guilty for keeping me up, you would help make this quick and painless.”

“Don’t use my guilt against me,” she muttered, pulling up a chair and tugging her sleeve down to reveal the gaping hole in her upper arm. Ignis leaned forward, squinting at the wound before heaving a sigh and pulling his glasses off, returning to his focused position.  _Damn_ _, he looks **decades** younger._

“It’s all I had at the moment.”

“Not—” She clenched her teeth when he prodded her skin. “True.”

“Did you expect me to threaten your relationship with Rayne?” His response came so quick that Rue had to take the time to process his words before she laughed.

“Ouch.”

“In reference to which?”

“Both.” She cringed when he went fishing for the bullet with a pair of tweezers, focused on his work. “What, are you my nurse now?”

“It seems we’ve both played the part,” he muttered.

“The Scientia Clinic is back in business.”

“I’ll have it registered before the break of dawn.”

Rue scoffed and stared hard at the walls, taking in details she didn’t notice before, like a photo of he and the rest of the entourage that followed Noctis to the end of Eos posing around a rather fancy car, or the silver chocobo ornament on the shelf beneath his clock.

“There we are.”

She turned back to see him straightening, holding a little bloody piece of metal with his tweezers. He set it aside, putting his glasses back on and handing over the potion Rue originally planned to use to heal her ailments.

“Faster than I thought,” she commented. Ignis sighed; he looked exhausted.

“Yes, well, you get good at first aid when you’re fighting a war against an army of robotic fiends.”

“Right.” She crushed the curative in her palm, feeling the shower of warm sparks travel through her body to her wound and seal it up. She stood carefully, putting the chair back where it was before and offering Ignis a smile. “Thanks. See you in a few hours?”

“Of course.”  _There he goes again._

Rue collapsed onto the sofa as if she couldn’t hold her weight any longer, pulling the heavy blankets Ignis set out up to her nose and resting her head against the small, decorative gray pillow that was already there, to begin with. She trusted that her body knew when to wake up in the morning and let her heavy eyelids close. She wasn’t at all surprised to see the faces of the girls behind them, watching the scene play over and over in her head. A long night was ahead for both resting under Ignis’s roof.

~|~|~|~|~

It was the clanking of dishes in the kitchen that woke Rue. At first, she had no idea where she was, sitting up with a start. However, upon shoving her glasses on and seeing Ignis’s back as he bustled about the kitchen, she slowly recalled the night before, pressing a hand to her throbbing head. Slowly, she rolled over and checked her phone.  _Four hours total… Thanks, weird assassin kids._

“Did you sleep well?” Ignis asked.  _As if you care. He probably just wants me to get the fuck out._

“Yeah,” she lied, forcing herself to stand so that she didn’t look like lazy. “Damn, you’re already ready? What time do you get up?”

“Back to personal questions, are we?” Rue rolled her eyes, though she could hardly wrestle away the smile that tugged at her lips.  _Guess he has a sense of humor after all._ “Usually I get up at five, but I allowed myself a bit longer because of last night’s…” His voice trailed off as he searched for a word.

“Shenanigans?”

“I was thinking more ‘events,’ but I suppose that works, too.” He used a spatula to turn whatever it was that he was cooking. “I’m assuming you normally wake up later?”

“I’m not a morning person,” she scoffed, retrieving her bag. “I get up at, like, seven because I usually shower before bed and I don’t eat breakfast, so…” She shrugged. “Saves me some time for sleep.”

“I apologize for waking you early, then.”

“That’s alright. I didn’t even set an alarm.”

At this, Ignis raised an eyebrow, but she ignored it and headed to the bathroom to get ready. Sighing, she smoothed her skirt and stared at the dark circles beneath her eyes, wishing that she’d brought  _something_ to cover them up.  _Oh well. Not like I have anyone to impress._  She left after shoving her things into her bag. Ignis was just finishing the omelet he’d cooked up, dividing it.

“Don’t worry about giving me any,” she called to him, pulling her shoes on. Ignis frowned, glancing over at her.

“You don’t want any?”  _Well shit, I wasn’t trying to hurt your pride._ She wasn’t entirely sure how to reply. Be honest and say that she had a self-conscious obsession over how her stomach looked in her clothes? Lie and say she wasn’t feeling well? She looked down and pretended to focus on getting her heels on.

“Eating early in the morning makes me feel sick.”

“…” Ignis sighed and shook his head, muttering something under his breath. Frowning, Rue pried her shoes off, wondering why in Shiva’s name she was putting those hell-shoes on long before she had to. “Is there anything else that you’d like?” Feeling guilty either way, Rue gave in.

“If you have a coffee machine, I’ll make myself a cup.”

“Already done.” He nodded toward the pair of mugs on the countertop beside him. “If you have need of cream or sugar, they’re here also.”

“Thanks.” 

She breathed a sigh of relief, honestly unsure how she was to survive the workday without caffeine. When she walked past to fill the mug offered, she suddenly realized that the advisor towered over her easily when she wasn’t boosted by the foot-knives she usually wore.  _What’s with Insomnia breeding all these tall guys?_ She shook her head, fixing her coffee as he headed to the table to eat his breakfast. She glanced down at the remaining food in the pan.  _And do they all have an obsession with eggs?_ Huffing a laugh to herself, she shook her head. Ignis was certainly of his own breed.

 


	24. Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Polaroid" by Imagine Dragons

"You said those kids have still been attacking,” she mused. Ignis paused his scrolling through text messages and stared at the surface of his table. “If that’s true, and I simply haven’t been informed, then what state is the world in right now?” Ignis swallowed his bite and thought in silence for a long time, sensing she had more to say. “And why is it being hidden?”

“You must understand,” Ignis started, straightening and looking up at her. “I am not sure what liberties I am at to share classified information with you.”

“I went to a meeting with the King to discuss the Kingsglaive’s next move, is that not enough?”

“You were training in the Glaive; those matters you are familiar with.”

“What difference does it make?” She carefully sipped the steaming coffee to make sure she got her mixture of cream and sugar just right, brow furrowed. She was clearly irritated the more she thought about it. “We’ve just been fed lies for two years, then.”

“No,” Ignis corrected firmly. “Noctis has been trying endlessly to reunite the—”

“Trying doesn’t cut it!” she snapped, her spoon hitting the countertop with a clatter. “All those people that are still out there dying even though the world’s ‘ _back at peace’…_ All those families that are being torn apart as we speak…” Rue looked over at him, shaking her head. “And he sits behind his walls and wastes his time with rebel groups to ensure that his reputation still stands in favor of those who have already received their rescue.”

“It’s not your place to make such remarks,” Ignis gritted back. She was taken aback for a second, but it didn’t quell her sparked anger. The advisor glowered at her from his seat, sensing the hostility in her voice. “The reason you’ve yet to be told such things is that you can’t be trusted. Your loyalties switch at the slightest promise of power and you’ve hardly remained in the Citadel for longer than a month at a time.”

“And  _you_ have no right to make judgments toward my dealings with Cameron,” she retorted, unable to bite her tongue as the stuffy feeling in her chest grew stronger and stronger. A voice that was easily muffled cried for her to shut up, reminding her that this was her boss. “I didn’t do what I did for  _power,_ and if I’d known the consequences, I probably never would have come back.” A tense silence overtook the room and Rue fell back against the counter, crossing her arms and forcing herself to meet Ignis’s sharp gaze. “I lost everything because of the Fall, and I was one of the lucky few to be recovered from the ashes. But there are those out there who are still suffering as I did through the Dark… That’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”

“We can only move so quickly—”

“Ignis, you have no part in it! There is no ‘we’!” she cried in frustration, hurrying toward the table. Her palms pressed against the wood and she stared hard into his eyes, trying to force him to understand how his allegiance was failing him. “You’re a glorified secretary! I don’t care how much paperwork they give you,” she shook her head, realizing that was she coming down from her adrenaline rush as dread replaced her anger. Still, she persevered. “You need to be in that throne room. Noctis’s intentions are good, and Cor probably helps a lot, but they can’t foresee the consequences. If that’s what you were raised to do then do it, dammit.”

“… May I ask what caused this sudden outburst?” he inquired. Rue sighed, straightening and heading back toward her coffee. Slowly, she stirred it, unsure if she could even stomach it anymore.

“I can’t stop seeing those girls, just laying there,  _dead,_ because  _I_ killed them.” She shook her head, watching the smooth drink in her mug swirl. “Those kids… They’re coming from places like the outside, where all they know is death and the hatred for Noctis that they were raised on. There were the faithful few who hoped for his return, but most people resented him for leaving in the first place. Most still believe we would have been better under Niflheim’s rule.”

“Are you one of them?”

“Gods, no,” Rue scoffed, looking up at him. “You serious? They took a bite out of everything anyone’s ever known and spit it out into  _this_ god-forsaken mess. I won’t ever forgive them, but that doesn’t mean I hate their people. The Imperials, the human ones, at least, still deserve a life. They can’t help where they were born.”

“You’re beginning to sound like someone I know,” he muttered, cutting another piece of his omelet.

“Dare I ask who?”

“Rayne.”

“Of course,” she huffed, taking a long drink of the coffee and cringing when she burnt her tongue. “Y’know, I never told you what Cam talked to me about.”

“I didn’t think it polite to inquire.”

“He begged me to finish his work against that group of kids, end ‘em all.” She shrugged, frowning. “I didn’t listen and look where that got me. But, at the same time, I don’t think I could go out of my way to kill them if I tried. They’ve just been misled.”

“And how long before misleading turns into an uprising?”

“I dunno,” she admitted. “They seem like the crowd I would’ve hung out with when I was younger, though. Can’t help but think they can change, too.”

“Wishful thinking certainly has its way of working out the knots.”

“Yeah.” She took another drink.  _Let’s hope so._

~|~|~|~|~

“Ignis, I was caught by Gladio on the way over,” Rue announced, entering the room with a cold Ebony and a stack of folders. “He wants to know if you plan on coming. To what, I’m assuming you already know because he didn’t say shit to me.”

“He must be referring to his birthday,” Ignis sighed, leaning back in his seat and pushing up his glasses. It had been four days since their argument in his home, and even still, the things she’d pointed out were interrupting his thoughts every now and again. Rue seemed to be pretending it never happened, but he wished he could bring the topic up again without setting her off.

“Birthday?”

“That’s right!”

Rue jumped and Ignis sighed as Rayne appeared in the doorway, beaming. She closed the door loudly behind her and strolled up to his desk, completely ignoring his assistant. Ignis raised an eyebrow when she stopped before him, still grinning with a devilish look in her eye.

“You’re disturbing me for a birthday party?”

“Hey, it’s not just any birthday party,” Rayne scoffed, offended. She threw one hip out to the side, crossing her arms. “It’s Gladio’s,  _and,_ it’s the big three-zero. Monumental.”

“I’m sure it is,” Ignis muttered wryly, unable to hide his smile when she smacked him upside the head as an annoyed sister might.

“Don’t be an ass. I’m still expecting you to make the cake.”

“Of course, why else would I be there?”

“I dunno, maybe because he’s your friends?”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” he retorted, nodding his thanks to Rue when she reached around him to hand over his Ebony. Rayne turned to look at her, but shockingly, the stare wasn’t hostile for once.

“You really need to stop fueling his addiction.”

“I don’t have an addiction, I have a preference,” Ignis replied, taking a sip of the cold canned coffee. “There’s no need to worry, Rayne. I’ll be there.”

“Good.” She paused, clearly thinking as her violet eyes scanned over his desk. Suddenly, she swiveled around to face Rue, who started, clutching the folders in her arms. Next to the King’s defender, the assistant looked incredibly feeble. “I guess you’re invited, too.”

“Uh, when and where?”

“Our place, tonight.”

“ _Tonight?”_

“Yeah. Don’t worry about a ride, Iggy can take you. And no gifts either. You being there to babysit Prompto is plenty.”

“I appreciate your confidence in my schedule,” Ignis muttered, unheard by Rayne as she headed out the door with a wave.

“See you tonight!”

“Right,” Rue huffed with a frown, turning back to Ignis. “She’s in a good mood.”

“… She likes birthdays.”

“Hm.” Rue wrestled a smile, setting the folders on his desk. “Probably likes the present she’ll be giving him tonight, too.” Ignis simply sighed, shaking his head and flipping through the first few pages before tucking the files away. Rue felt her heart swell with pride when he didn’t nitpick over the details or check everything she’d done. “I’ll be right back, I have to make a phone call.”

“Dare I ask what for?”

“I just have to cancel plans,” she shrugged. “It’s just Relir, no biggie.”

“Relir,” Ignis repeated under his breath. He wasn’t too familiar with the name. He half expected her to call Eren instead.

It was always Eren. It was as though a sudden disease had overtaken her and that was all she could think about—Eren. The young man certainly seemed like a kind soul, but Ignis could hardly see the pair lasting. He shook his head; what was he thinking? He didn’t know the man, and he barely knew Rue, so he was hardly in the position to make presumptions about the success of the relationship they seemed to be fostering. All he knew was that it seemed there was more life breathed into her when she drove in with him, which he obviously took to mean he’d spent the night, or vice versa. Even Rayne talked about Eren, how strong he was getting and her appreciation for his honesty.  _Eren, Eren, Eren._

“So, Gladio’s thirty?” Rue asked as she reentered the office.

“That’s what was on your mind during your entire phone call?” Ignis inquired dryly, glancing up from his notes.

“Don’t give me that look. He looks younger than  _you._ ”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” he muttered, scribbling an observation down in the margins. “He’s three years ahead.”

“Yeah, well, you act very mature for your age.”

“I hope most people my age have matured by now.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“I’m most definitely surprised by you,” he retorted, earning a scoff.

“I’m really starting to hate when you’re in a good mood.”

“So, you prefer my suffering,” he said simply, closing his notebook and looking up at her with an expression she couldn’t read. “I always knew there may have been something different about you, but sadism was hardly on the list.”

“Well, what’d I tell you about assumptions,” she shrugged, jerking her head toward her jacket. “I wear the coat of the guy I killed as a reminder to myself of what I’m capable of, for fuck's sake.”

“You certainly are an enigma,” he grumbled, tucking his notebook away.

There was no sarcasm this time; he truly meant the words. Rue was keeping something hidden that was the key to figuring the puzzle out, the missing link that would clarify it all. Curiosity certainly wasn’t a negative trait to have in small doses, but Ignis despised ambiguity so much that he was willing to take a larger portion in to get this over with. 

 


	25. Dirty Thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Edge of Tonight" by All Time Low

"Are you certain you still want to come?"

"C'mon, Iggy, quit trying to send her home," Prompto protested, crossing his arms. Rue raised an eyebrow at Ignis, allowing a wry smile.

"Yeah, Ignis, why don't you want me there?"

"Honestly," Ignis muttered, sighing and pressing a finger to his temple. "I simply don't want you to feel obligated because of Rayne's less-than-gracious invitation."

"Have you met me? Grace and I don't really mix all that well."

"Neither do you and Rayne."

"Whatever," Prompto scoffed, shaking his head. "She takes time to warm up to people."

"Right..." Rue shook her head. "Listen, I don't even care if she likes me or not."

"No?" Ignis arched an eyebrow. Rue shrugged. 

"I mean, it would be helpful, but we don't exactly have to be friends."

"Do you still intend on joining the Glaive?" Ignis asked coolly. Rue hesitated. Should she even consider being honest and tell him that this job was all just a ploy to get back into the Citadel? Probably not.

"I think I gave up on that a long time ago," she replied, letting her shoulders slump the slightest bit. "There's no place for me there, and so I'll find my place elsewhere."

"I can hardly expect you to serve me forever."

"Serve him," Prompto repeated sarcastically. Rue stifled a laugh. "Hey, Noct's coming, right?"

"Yes," Ignis nodded, standing and pulling his jacket off the back of his seat. He shrugged it on slowly, clearly pondering something. "Prompto, do you know about his progress on communication with the settlement outside the city?"

"The one that canceled on us?" Prompto shook his head, shrugging dejectedly. "I dunno. We don't get to talk very often."

"He's been busy," Ignis reminded him, checking to make sure his car keys still resided in his pocket. "I'll ask him on the way."

"It's none of my business," Rue started, quickly adding, "Not that that ever stops me anyway." Ignis clearly agreed with her additional statement, waiting for her to continue. "But it seems to me that he's had a bit of a stressful time these past few weeks. I know you want to be kept up to date, but I think that maybe tonight we should just avoid talking about that sort of stuff altogether."

"I agree!" Prompto announced cheerfully, grinning at Ignis as he waited for his response. The advisor's brow furrowed, and he touched his glasses. Rue crossed her thin arms uncomfortably, waiting. Finally, he sighed and gave the slightest nod, heading for the door.

"I suppose a break would do him well."

"He's a real softie underneath all that grumpiness," Prompto whispered, nudging Rue's shoulder with his. She scoffed, leaving the office and keeping her voice low.

"Maybe to you guys."

"Nah, you just gotta prove yourself and then he eases off."

"Prove myself," she repeated, rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious! He just wants to make sure you're doing the best you can before he stops pushing you so hard. Unless you just get used to it and it  _feels_ like he's easing off..."

"Aren't you observant," she teased, watching Ignis lock his office door.  _Guess having criminals crawling all over your workplace doesn't inspire much trust._

"Not gonna lie; I repeated that all from Rayne."  _Rayne?_ She shook her head, sighing.  _I kept forgetting those two are close._ It was a strange match, the uptight smarty-pants and the pushy meat shield.

"If you're finished, might we consider getting Noctis and leaving?" Ignis said sharply, turning to face them. Prompto grinned, crossing his arms and cocking his head to the side.

"C'mon, Iggy, don't be like that. We got time to spare."

"It's good practice to arrive early," he replied, heading down the hallway in the direction to the throne room.

"Not when we're the only guests," Prompto insisted, hurrying to catch up. Rue sighed, quickening her pace.  _What the hell am I getting myself into?_ "Does Noct even know when we're supposed to be there?"

"Likely not, but it's my job to keep track of that anyway." Ignis gave his head the slightest shake and Rue frowned, brushing her dark hair out of her face.  _Is that what he's always doing on that computer? Micromanaging the king's life?_

"Excuse me." A small woman dressed in a typical guard's armor stopped them at the throne room door, timidly stepping in front of the broad doors. "The only one allowed past here without warning is Mr. Scientia." Rue almost snickered at the sound of Ignis's name. The advisor stepped forth, touching his glasses.

"They can wait outside. Is His Majesty in?"

"Um... No." She chewed on her lip nervously, hugging her arms to her body.  _That was me just a little while ago._

"Where is he then?" Ignis frowned, arching an eyebrow. Rue almost shuddered to remember how terrifying that look used to be.

"Specs?"

The small group turned to see Noctis standing behind them, accompanied by Cor and a member of the elder council that Rue didn't recognize. His hair badly needed a trim and his clothes were wrinkled from slouching in the throne room day after day, but still, his expression was light-hearted. He raised an eyebrow at his advisor, rolling his eyes when Prompto slung an arm around his neck and ruffled his hair.

"There's our guy!"

"Mr. Argentum, I'd hardly consider that appropriate behavior for—" the elder started, interrupted when Cor spoke.

"It's alright." The Immortal scanned over the small cluster of people outside the door before looking back at Ignis. "Wish Gladio a happy birthday for me, would you?"

"Of course."  _Here we go again._

"We'll take our leave, then." Cor jerked his head to the left and the old man in hefty, ornate robes followed with a sour stare at the blonde, who appeared unfazed by the scolding he'd received.

"You guys are already heading out?" Noctis asked, trying to wrestle away from Prompto as he took out his phone to snap a selfie.

"That's what we said!" Prompto pointed out, releasing his friend and looking pointedly at Ignis. "Me 'n Rue said that we should wait, but Iggy just wouldn't listen."

"It was just you that said that," Rue muttered, earning a betrayed pout. She was quick to cheer him up, careful not to look Noctis in the eye. She still wasn't sure how to act around such a casual character. "Not that I don't agree!"

" _Sure,"_ Prompto teased, elbowing her. He turned to Ignis, opening his mouth to speak when a loud ringtone sang out and echoed down the empty halls. Rue patted her pocket just in case, but Noctis pulled his out, swiping to pick up the call.

"Rayne?" The king frowned, glancing up at Ignis. His shoulders slouched when he groaned. "Seriously? I thought he said the ride made his ass hurt." Rue could hear the faintest sound of Rayne's voice protesting on the other line. "Yeah, I know," he sighed, resting a hand on his hip. "Okay, fine. Iggy isn't going to like that." Everyone looked to the advisor, who looked less than pleased. "Whatever. See you there."

"What won't I like?" Ignis asked once Noctis hung up, crossing his arms. The young king sighed, shaking his head.

"Gladio wants to go to Hammerhead for the night."

"The whole night?" Prompto asked, staring with wide eyes. "Please say yes!  _Please!"_ _Why Hammerhead?_

"I dunno," Noctis shrugged. Prompto grabbing his friend's arm, jerking him closer.

"Dude, I'll do anything!"

"Why's he want to go so bad?" Rue asked Ignis, who sighed and adjusted his glasses. Noctis just laughed to himself.

"Prompto has an infatuation with the local mechanic."

"Cindy's the best!" Prompto was practically  _drooling_. "She's done so much for us."

"Her grandfather was close with Noct's father," Ignis explained. "And Cindy herself made herself a useful ally on our journey to Altissia."

"She really was willing to give everything for the Regalia," Prompto gushed, his eyes wide. Rue swore that if her life was an anime, his eyes would have been glittering. "Poor old girl... Wish we could get her fixed."

"She's probably scrap metal now," Noctis shook his head, shaking Prompto off of his arm. He looked up at Ignis. "Guess we should leave now. Rayne said she and Gladio just headed out."

"Sounds like a plan," Ignis nodded, leading the way down yet another corridor to the parking garage. While Prompto and Noctis talked behind them, Rue stepped up to her boss's side, though she hung back a step or two uneasily.

"A plan? I hear you like those. It's, like, a specialty of yours or something like that."

"Something like that," he replied curtly, though something in his voice gave away his amusement. "Are you still adamant on joining us?"

"Damn, you really want to get rid of me," Rue only half-teased, though she couldn't help but feel as though he really didn't want her to take Rayne's invitation. However, if she was honest, the only reason she was going was to build a rapport with the leader of the Kingsglaive in hopes of rekindling her desires to get back on track.

"Of course not," Ignis shook his head, glancing back at her. "I was uncertain if the change in location bothered you."

"Not at all. If anything, it'll be nice to leave the city for a spell."

"Have you left since the light returned?" Ignis pushed the door open, holding it just long enough for Prompto to catch it. Rue shook her head.

"I've hardly gone anywhere in  _Insomnia_ since then."

"Yes, well, the Crown City has a long way to go before she's fully recovered." His car chirped a few parking spots away as he unlocked the doors. "Any particular reason you've stayed?"

"No," she shrugged. "I mean, I don't have a car and all, but that hasn't been a problem. I guess I just haven't gathered up the courage to see what it's like out there."

"It's certainly still a world in recovery."

Ignis climbed into the driver's seat and Rue waited for Prompto to catch up in order to see where he wanted to sit. The blonde crawled into the back with Noctis as if he hadn't seen her. Frowning, Rue sat beside Ignis, uncomfortably stiff as she recalled his favor from a few nights prior. Part of her was praying that Noctis would take the front so she could be by Prompto, but she supposed she'd have to get over her fear of owing the advisor at some point.

"Hey Rue, wanna play some tunes for us?"

"Some  _tunes?_ " Rue mocked, turning back to grin at Prompto when he rolled his eyes, huffing. "I think Ignis prefers quiet."

"I do," Ignis nodded, backing out of his parking space and pulling away from the parking garage. "It's far easier to concentrate."

"The drive's not that hard," Prompto scoffed, slumping in his seat. Noctis rolled his eyes, shaking his head and leaning against the window. "Do you think you'll get another fancy car made?"

"Probably not," Noctis shrugged. Rue watched them in the rearview mirror curiously, playing with her thumbs in her lap. "I don't see why I'd need it."

"For trips outside!" The gunman exclaimed as though the answer was obviously, turning in his seat to face the king. "Don't you want to leave more often?"

"Dunno. Leaving kind of puts me on edge now," Noctis replied, though his lips were quirked up into the slightest smile. Prompto shoved his shoulder and Rue fought the urge to smile, turning her eyes to the unfamiliar stretch of road that led directly to the exit of Insomnia's limits. "How far is Hammerhead from here?"

"Only ten minutes," Ignis answered dutifully, glancing up into his rearview mirror before his eyes returned to the road. He pulled up to a gate, which the keeper opened upon seeing them coming, freeing them to the open highway. Rue felt as though she was suffocating as stacks of concrete and glass became open fields of reddish sand and dull, dry plants. Prompto leaned forward, pressing his forearms against the backs of the front two seats.

"Hey Rue, where were you before the Dawn?"

"Me?" Rue shifted uncomfortably, shrugging. "I went wherever my group went. One of the Glaives was with us—Dex, I don't know if you've ever met him. Big, stupid-looking douche. Anyway," she shook her head, smiling fondly as she recalled Dex's fit at their dinner months prior. "We stuck around the Cleigne, mostly. Sometimes we stopped at Lestallum."

"Seriously? That's where Iggy was, right?!"

"Yes, I stayed there for a good portion of the Darkness," Ignis murmured. Rue frowned; there seemed to be some pain associated with the memory.  _I can't imagine why he wouldn't stick by the others..._

"I wasn't there that often," Rue shook her head, looking up at Prompto. "We ran into a lot of trouble."

"Daemons?"

"People," she corrected, turning back to the window when her heart began to sting. "There were some pretty fucked up groups of people out there. You'd think we'd all want to help each other while we waited for the light to return, but I guess there were a lot of people who thought Noctis wasn't returning."

"What do you mean?" Prompto frowned. Rue shrugged, watching a pack of sabertusks chase a small dualhorn across the sand.

"I ran into a pretty big settlement of people who genuinely believed that you guys made the whole thing up. I'll admit, it's hard to believe a story about the Chosen King getting sucked into the Crystal for who knows how long, but then again, nothing had made sense since Insomnia fell." Rue glanced back up at him. "I guess they just decided they'd had enough of the blind faith."

"Blind?" Prompto repeated. Noctis listened in silence, staring out the window.  _He's probably never heard it from a civilian's side before,_ she realized.

"We only had your word to base our trust off of," she reminded him. "Most of us didn't grow up with constant reminders of the gods and their wills and whatnot. To the average guy, it sounded like nonsense."

"Did you believe Noct was coming back?"

"I had to," Rue admitted. She caught Ignis's slight twitch of a frown from the corner of her eye. "If I didn't... Well, shit, there was no hope for the future and I would've been better off dead. You could only fight off the daemons for so long before they fought back three times as hard."

"I guess so." Prompto fell back into his seat, turning his phone over and over in his hands. "What were you fighting for?"

"What do you mean?" Rue frowned, turning around to face him. Ignis sighed; she jumped when his hand touched her shoulder and pushed.

"Sit down."

"Damn," she huffed, though her heart was still pounding.

"Why were you so determined to survive?"

"Because I—" Rue cut herself off, biting her tongue. "I just... wanted to prove to myself that I could make it, that I was good for  _something_."

Prompto nodded, satisfied. Ignis's frown remained and he pressed the gas pedal a little harder, speeding up as they reached a straight, open portion of the road. Rue glanced at the speedometer and scoffed to herself, slouching in her seat, closing her eyes, and resting her head against the window.  _I guess even the rule-followers speed sometimes._

The ride ended long before Rue expected. She sat up sharply as they came to a stop, looking around in wonder at the gas station they'd parked at.  _This is Hammerhead now?_ Everyone started to get out, stretching.  _Must be._ Huffing, she got out and looking around in wonder. They had parked between the gas pumps and the small convenience store. A short distance behind them was a diner and ahead of them was a garage accompanied by a large yellow tow truck and an umbrella for blocking the sun from hitting the white chair beneath it. Rue could see the remnants of a settlement that had obviously been here two years prior.

"They're talking to Cindy!" Prompto cried in a hushed voice jerking his head toward the trailer parked outside the diner. Noctis sighed, exchanging a look with Ignis before following his friend as he rushed toward Rayne and Gladio, who stood talking to a half-naked woman in a baseball cap. Rue raised an eyebrow, coming up beside the advisor as he took on a much slower pace than the other two.

" _That's_ the legendary Cindy?" she asked, keeping her voice low. To her surprise, Ignis puffed out a short laugh, adjusting his glasses.

"Not what you expected?"

"How's that outfit safe for work?" Rue couldn't help but gawk at the hot pink thong straps that stretched over the woman's bony hips, peeking over shorts that were hardly present and sharply contrasting the neon yellow cropped jacket that just barely covered the bits it was meant to. Any passerby would have mistaken her stunned stare for admiration. "This is the most extreme case of 'fashion over function' I've ever seen!"

"I'm honestly surprised she hasn't changed her look since before the Darkness," Ignis admitted.

But they could say no more; they'd reached the growing circle. Cindy giggled, shaking her head and resting her gloved hands on her waist, her blonde curls bouncing as she nodded. Rue glanced at Prompto, who looked ready to melt into a puddle. The mechanic turned to face the pair that joined.

"Well, I'll be!" she cried in a thick southern accent that utterly confused Rue even further. "His Highness's honorary driver!"

"Hello, Cindy," Ignis greeted with a tilt of his head, allowing a smile.

"A new face, too!" Cindy grinned at Rue, crossing her arms and throwing her hip out to the side. "What's yer name, Darlin'?"

"Rue Corden," Rue replied, startled when Cindy laughed.

"Rue's just fine. We go on a first-name basis here, don't we, y'all?" Prompto nodded eagerly, his fingers tangled together on his stomach. Rue wrestled with a smile.

"Where's Cid?" Noctis asked, crossing his arms. Cindy sighed, shaking her head.

"Paw Paw's been feelin' under the weather as of late. Sent him back to Lestallum just a few days ago so he can recover." She turned her vivid green eyes back to Ignis. "If yer ever not busy by some miracle, feel free to pay him a visit and whip up some miracle cure. Alright?"

"Will do," Noctis nodded, turning to Gladio. "So, what's the plan?"

"No idea," Gladio shrugged, raising a hand to send Rue a single wave of acknowledgment. She sent one back. "Surprised you're here."

"Are you really?" Rue replied, raising an eyebrow. She couldn't stop the grin tugging at her lips. Somehow, she felt welcome. It was a strange feeling, one she wasn't particularly familiar with, but it certainly wasn't unwanted.

"Okay, well, I paid for the caravan just in case," Rayne spoke up, arms crossed. For once, her hair wasn't up, swaying at her wide hips as she turned to face the rest of the group.  _Why's it so long?_ She bit the inside of her cheek.  _That's what she said._ "And I brought a lot of alcohol, so someone'd better drink with me." Gladio sighed, shooting Ignis a knowing look.

"King's Knight, anyone?" Prompto suggested, heading toward the plastic chairs outside the caravan. Rue froze, eyebrows raised.

"Wait, you play?"

" _You_ play?!" the blonde cried, far more excited than he should have been.

"Hell yeah I do," Rue scoffed, hurrying to follow him and pulling her phone out of her pocket.

She shouldn't have been surprised that Noctis joined them, nor that he was so good (he probably had plenty of time to play when he was doing fuck-all in that throne room all day), but it frustrated her to no end that he kicked her butt round after round. Judging by the looks Rayne and Ignis shot her from time to time, she likely got carried away with the smack talk and the competitive shouting. Noctis, however, seemed unbothered and it warmed her heart to see him and Prompto enjoying themselves.

Finally, she realized the sun was quickly sinking below the wide-open horizon and excused herself, dusting off her skirt and heading around the other side of the caravan to watch the colors fade from the sky, resting her arms on the short wall edging the small outpost. She jumped when a plastic cup was slammed down to her right, greeted by an arched eyebrow and a smug smile. Rayne stood at her side, nudging the cup toward her, drinking from her own.

"Drink up."

"What?" Rue stared down into the cup, lifting it to her nose to take a sniff. She coughed, earning an eyeroll.

"I didn't put anything in it. Why the hell would I want to keep you around any longer than I have to?"

"Exactly," Rue replied, taking a small sip. Her nose crinkled and she grimaced. "Is this just a cup full of straight vodka?"

"Maybe," Rayne grinned, taking a big gulp from her cup. She turned to the left, nodding toward the caravan. "You want a better view? Climb up there."

"Will it get dented?" Rue frowned, staring up at the woman she easily could consider a rival. As far as she knew, Rayne hated her guts.  _What's going on?_ She glanced down at the cup in the soldier's pale hands.  _Oh._

"I'm probably twice your size and I've been up there," Rayne scoffed, nudging her. "Go on. Up."

"Okay," Rue sighed, purposefully leaving her drink behind and pulling herself up the shoddy ladder that was screwed to the rusting side of the trailer. Gingerly, she crawled across the top to make room for the tipsy woman that followed her, crossing her legs and finally turning her eyes to the sky. Her heart fluttered and she smiled, rolling her eyes when Rayne handed her the drink she "forgot."

"You left this."

"Thanks." Despite herself, she took another drink, cherishing the burn. "It's gorgeous."

"Damn straight." Rayne hugged her knees to her chest, taking in the blues and oranges and pinks. She huffed a small laugh to herself, taking another drink before speaking. "So, got your eyes on Iggy?" Rue choked on her breath.

"What?" she hissed, feeling her face grow red as she looked back over her shoulder at the advisor who currently stood talking with the owner of the diner and Gladio. Rayne grabbed her shoulder, shaking her.

"Hey, don't look at him!"

"Sorry," Rue huffed, turning back around abruptly, not missing the confused frown Gladio sent her way. "But no, absolutely not."

"No?" Rayne lowered her head, giggling like a schoolgirl. "He's kinda cute though, isn't he?"

"... Are you okay?"

"No!" Rayne threw back her head and laughed long and loud, setting her drink aside. "I'm officially cutting myself off.  _Anyway_..." She tucked her long, blonde hair behind her ear and allowed a small smile, calming down. "Yeah, he's an ass. More in the way that he needs everything to be perfect and if it's not he has a mental breakdown than in the douche bag way, but you know that already." She shook her head, glancing over at Rue, who listened in confused silence. "You sure you're not in the market? He's  _probably_ lonely."

"I'd rather die," Rue scoffed, quickly correcting herself. "Well, okay, not really. Besides..." She cleared her throat, awkwardly playing with the sleeve of her shirt. "I, uh... I'm not—"

"Single?" Rayne sighed, disappointed. "Damn. It's Eren isn't it?"

"How did you...?"

"He's always talking about you," Rayne laughed, shaking her head. "It's actually kinda cute."

"Yeah." Rue turned back to the sunset, watching the sky shift to a dark shade of blue. "To be honest... I'm still not sure if it's what I want. And I feel bad for stringing him along, but..." She shrugged, hugging her arms to her body. "He's the one who wanted this."

"How'd it happen?"

"Drunken mistake," Rue huffed, lifting her cup and jerking her head toward it. Rayne grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Y'know, I could always get Iggy a bottle of—"

"No," Rue protested through gritted teeth, unable to keep herself from looking back at Ignis. Her heart leaped into her throat when she saw him staring back, his expression practically a perfect copy of Gladio's. Quickly, she turned back and pretended she didn't see him. "He's my  _boss."_

"That's not a reason," Rayne snorted. Rue watched her reach toward her cup to take another drink.  _That's not what you said in the throne room._

"You said you were cutting yourself off."

"Fuck it." Rayne stood uneasily, her face smug as she looked down at the girl she once refused to forgive. "You only live once, right? Isn't that what the kids say?"

"What they  _used_ to say," Rue muttered, worried that the woman would tumble off the roof. "You're gonna waste your only life on alcohol poisoning."

"I'm a big girl; I can handle it."

Finally somewhat alone, she watched the sky shift from soft colors to deep blue, sprinkled with the lights of stars that seemed so alone in the light of the outpost. She knew better; there were thousands of glittering speckles above their heads, just waiting to be discovered. Eventually, Rue forced herself to leave the roof, chugging down the rest of the alcohol in her cup and sliding down the ladder to meet the ground yet again.  _I'm gonna be so sick._ Prompto greeted her with a grin.

"Hey! There she is!" Rue bowed playfully. "The elusive Rue Corden."

"Here I am," she replied dryly, sitting in the empty seat Gladio pulled up and patted.

"Elusive? Is that the right word?" Prompto asked, turning to Ignis, who nodded.

"Look at you," Noctis teased. "Using three-syllable words."

"Shut up, Noct!" Prompto cried, knocking the king's head with his wrist. Rue sat in the white plastic chair stiffly. "So, big guy, got your retirement plans ready?"

"You're so funny," Rayne scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically as she flopped down on Gladio's lap. The king's shield sighed, scratching at his beard and shooting Rue a look. "He's not done until his head's lopped off for Noct or he's so big and saggy that he's nothin' but a giant bag of skin and douchery."

"The fuck?" Rue snorted, laughing when all eyes turned to her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that so loud."

"What'd you give her?" Gladio huffed, tapping Rayne's thigh. She shrugged.

"Hell if I know. Don't even know what I'm drinking right now."

"Okay." Gladio pried the bottle of wine from her hands and slid it toward Ignis, who respectfully turned it down, though he did tuck it far out of Rayne's reach.

"Hey, remember the time Prompto asked me to babysit his cat and it was actually a raccoon?" Rayne asked, earning a rather loud snicker from Noctis. Prompto blushed when Rue stared at him in disbelief.

"Did you just not know it was a raccoon or what?" she demanded. Prompto took a deep breath, straightening.

"Listen—"

"He actually thought it was a cat!" Rayne cut in, shaking her head in disapproval. "For shame!"

"In his defense," Ignis started, sitting up, "it was a rather small raccoon."

"It had a mask!" Rayne protested.

"And it smelled like shit," Noctis added.

"Prompto," Rue groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"No!  _No!_ They're not giving me a chance to explain myself!" Prompto cried, somehow winding up with his feet tucked under him in his chair until he was perched like an enormous bird, pointing an accusing finger at Rayne. "I found him with a collar and bell and everything. That should mean something, right?"

"That someone else had a pet raccoon and you stole him?"

"No!"

Rayne burst out in hysterical laughter; Gladio cringed when she collapsed against his chest. Rue, still confused, found that she was enjoying the reaction she'd elicited from her audience.  _For once they don't all hate my guts._ Still, she couldn't help but recall the conversation that had just taken place, and, giggling, she fell back into her seat. Her sides began to burn and a few tears streamed down her face before she emerged, breathless.

"Wait, so let me get this straight," she said, leaning forward. She paused to allow a short, residual chuckle. "You thought this raccoon was a cat because it had a collar. You gave this thing to Rayne?"

"I had to leave for a few days and I didn't him to feel lonely," Prompto explained innocently. Rue struggled to contain herself as Rayne cracked up again, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"It fucking  _chattered_ in its carrier and I  _knew!_ " Rayne exclaimed, shaking her hair out of her sweaty face. "That's no goddamn cat!" Everyone shared another bout of laughter, albeit a more relaxed one that the round Rue and Rayne had just experienced. Rue tried not to stare in shock at the sight of Ignis smiling more than the slight formality he allowed every now and again. Sighing and trying to settle herself down, Rayne sat up, back pressed to Gladio's chest, and cleared her throat. "Shit, guys, how long are you staying?"

"I could be out here all night," Prompto admitted, though a smug grin overtook his face as he nodded to where Gladio's hand rested on Rayne's thigh. " _But_ I think the big guy's got other ideas." Gladio chuckled, earning a sour look from Rayne.

"Cor'll wring my neck if I don't look alive tomorrow morning," Noctis sighed, shooting Ignis a pointed look. "No hangover this time."

"I should hope not after what happened last time," Ignis replied dryly.

"What happened last time?" Rayne inquired, reaching up to bury her hand into Gladio's long hair, combing her fingers through slowly. "Was he super sick?"

"Yes," Ignis answered, shooting the young king a stern look. "He decided it would be wise to attempt keeping up with Gladio, remember?"

"Oh gods," Rue sighed, slumping in her seat. She would  _never._

"Yeah," Noctis huffed. A mischievous look crossed Prompto's face.

"Hey Noct, remember that time Rayne snuck you a drink while you were working at that burger place?"

"You worked at a burger place?" Rue asked, frowning.

"She did what?" Gladio demanded at the same moment, frowning at Rayne when she waved him off with a grin.

"His job was shit and he'd worked his ass off."

"But he—"

"Shh." Rayne frowned, looking across the circle to Prompto. "What's the worst job you ever had?"

"The burger place with Noct."

"Didn't you get fired?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"Rue?" Rayne turned to her, her eyes lazily blinking at her as she waited. "You've lived a pretty normal life."

"I wouldn't say that," Rue scoffed. "I dunno. I worked at some convenience store for two years in high school. It wasn't the worst thing ever, but it was  _boring._ " Rayne raised her eyebrows, seeming surprised.  _What?_

"Really? I'm surprised it's not the, uh,  _thing_ you were doing before you joined the training."

"What...?"  _How do you know about that?_

By now, everyone's eyes were on her, curious. She could feel her face heating up as she tried to figure out how Rayne knew about the ways she brought in money in the early days of Insomnia's rebuilding. Fumbling over words in her heads as the silence dragged on, she glanced around at the people sitting with her and almost immediately the welcoming spirit she'd been feeling began to drain away. Even Ignis's brow was visibly furrowed, though he kept the staring to a minimum.

"It, uh, wasn't that bad," Rue stammered, staring down at her lap. Rayne raised an eyebrow, not quite catching on.

"Really? Must've been harder getting customers then than when you—"

"Rayne," Gladio cut her off quietly, though his voice was stern enough to shut the woman up. Rue gnawed her lip anxiously, fiddling with her fingers.  _Shit_ _, what do I do?_

"She's outta her mind," Prompto teased, forcing a laugh. His attempt at changing the subject was uncomfortable, and to remedy that, Ignis stood quickly.

"We ought to be returning to the Crown City soon. This week is hardly over yet."

"Not like we get the weekends free anyway," Noctis grumbled, dragging himself to his feet and jamming his hands into his pockets. "We going?"

"Yes, just let me gather my things from inside," Ignis nodded, hurrying up the stairs to the caravan. Rayne sighed, patting Gladio's knee.

"Ready to get rid of these idiots?"

"If anyone's the idiot, it's you."

"Don't be an ass," she scoffed. Rue turned away uncomfortably as she dragged him down for a sloppy, drunken kiss.

She started to head toward the car the moment Ignis's shoe was visible from the trailer doorway, hugging her arms to her body and hurrying for the passenger seat. Prompto let her have it without protest, climbing in back with Noctis. Ignis tucked a paper bag down by Rue's feet with a muttered apology before starting the car and pulling out of the Hammerhead parking lot. Rue watched the lights fade into the distance before sleepily resting her head against the window. Her mind raced with a thousand questions, but she was far too exhausted to toy with their answers.

"So Rue, how was your first time out of the city since forever?" Prompto asked lightheartedly, leaning forward to hear her answer. She forced a smile, nodding. Her fingers twiddled nervously. 

"It was fun."

"Tired?"

"Yeah."

"Prom, shut up," Noctis grumbled, curled up against the door. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Noct, the ride's hardly—" Ignis started.

"Yeah, yeah. I just want quiet."

"Certainly."

And so, quiet he was granted. No one spoke a word until Noctis and Prompto climbed out the car at the Citadel, and even then, it was just Prompto insisting that he could walk home from there and wishing them a good night. As Ignis started to drive again, a heavy, uncomfortable silence overtook the vehicle. Rue shifted uneasily, watching the minutes tick by. She tried to check her phone only to realize it had died. Finally, Ignis spoke.

"I apologize for any discomfort Rayne may have caused you. I'm sure she didn't mean to push your boundaries."

"No, it's okay." Rue shook her head, gritting her teeth in irritation at how soft her voice was. She sounded like a scolded child. Ignis frowned, glancing over at her. She hurried to explain. "I mean, she was a little out of it and I still had fun, so really, it's alright."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," he replied stiffly. "Still..." He sighed. "I apologize. I admit I was afraid she was berating you on the top of the caravan earlier."

"No, she was just messing around," Rue shrugged, trying not to recall the strange interaction they'd had up there. "Asking me about Eren and such."

"Eren?"

"My, uh, friend, I guess? I don't know. It's complicated." She shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "Whatever. I'm not about to figure it out right now."

"I'm certain you'll work it out eventually."

"Yeah." She saw the neon sign for her apartment complex coming closer. "Thanks for the ride. I feel bad that you keep chauffeuring me places."

"It's quite alright." 

Ignis shook his head, pulling into a parking space beside the front doors and stopping the car. Something about him looked on edge, a feeling that Rue wasn't quite used to him emitting. But it was fleeting, gone in an instant, and he gave his head the slightest shake to clear his thoughts before reaching down and picking up the paper bag. He set it on her lap just as she cracked open the door. 

"You missed dinner. I saved you a portion before Gladio could eat it all."

"Oh, um, thanks," Rue stuttered, taken by surprise. Ignis stared at the dashboard blankly; he didn't even deliver his usual line, the wonderful "of course." Frowning uneasily, Rue stepped out of the car and lowered her head, trying to catch his eye. "Really, thanks a lot for everything. See you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early," he murmured, shifting the car into reverse. "Goodnight."

"Night," she answered, stepping back and watching him pull away before hurrying inside.  _That... That was bizarre._

 


	26. Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "True Friends" by Bring Me The Horizon

Rue rolled out of bed the next morning, fully enveloped in her blankets, and hit the ground with a thud, groaning. Slowly, she disentangled herself and unplugged her phone, checking the notifications she missed while it was dead after shoving her glasses onto her face haphazardly. Her heart skipped a beat.  _Four missed calls from Eren?_ As she headed to the bathroom, she opened the texts he’d sent her.

_Hey, where are you? I’ve been waiting out here forever!_

_Hello? Did you forget about dinner?_

_Call me back, dork! They’re starting to give me weird looks._

_Wow, okay. Standing me up? Low blow. Seriously though, where are you?_

_Rue? Are you okay?_

_I just stopped by and you weren’t home. Relir and Dex have no clue where you are. Just let me know if you’re okay when you see this, okay? There’s a lot of freaky stuff going on around here lately and I don’t you to get hurt._

Rue stopped what she was doing, biting down on the toothbrush that hung from her lips, and texted him back immediately, overwhelmed with exhaustion, guilt, and fear.  _How could I leave him hanging like that?_ Scanning over her message, she quickly hit send in order to keep Eren from suffering any longer.

_Gods, I’m so sorry Eren. I totally forgot about last night! Rayne invited me out for Gladio’s birthday, so I was in Hammerhead until about one. Super duper sorry! I’ll make it up to you, I swear._

She set her phone down and forced herself to keep brushing her teeth, staring hard at her reflection as her heart pounded.  _Shit_ _. What a way to start my day._ She couldn’t help but feel terrible. Not only had she left him to sit and wait at some restaurant by himself while he insisted to waiters that someone was joining him, but the simple thought to let him know about her plans had never crossed her mind. Obviously, he didn’t always need to know what she was doing, but it would have been considerate. Just as she began to comb through her messy hair, her phone buzzed against the counter. She jumped, quickly checking his response.

_No sweat! Just glad you’re alright._

Rue gnawed on the inside of her cheek anxiously, unsure if he was just being nice.  _What if he’s actually pissed?_ Her phone vibrated again.

_Want a lift to the Citadel? I can drop by on my way._

_Sure!_

She forced herself to set her phone down, taking a deep breath.  _Well, I guess we’ll see._ Quickly, she got dressed, thanking any god that would listen that her clothes weren’t wrinkled. Her cellphone buzzed once more just as she finished chugging a cup of coffee and she jammed her feet into her shoes, taking the sound as her signal to head down to the parking lot. Honey meowed loudly in protest as she hurried out the door, forcing her eyes away from the place she could still see the bodies of the two girls.

“I know, baby,” Rue cooed, reaching out and stroking the cat’s smooth head. “I promise we’ll snuggle later.”

Stumbling over her own feet, she hurried to the elevator and jammed her hands into her jacket pockets. The lobby was fairly empty, just as empty as it always ways this early, but Rue still felt chills as she stepped into the cramped space. Perhaps it was the realization of how dim it really was inside her prison of an apartment; perhaps it was because she was afraid of what Eren was going to say. When she stepped outside, she was startled to see him outside his car, walking quickly toward her. Before she could even say hello, he’d pulled her close and erased her frown with a kiss. Rue hardly had time to react before he pulled away, eyebrow raised.

“No contacts today?”

“What…?” Rue felt her face, huffing. “Guess not.” She shook her head as he turned and headed toward his car. “What was that all about?”

“What?” He looked over his shoulder with a grin. “Gotta keep you guessing, yeah?”

“Right,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes and climbing into the passenger seat. “Seriously though, I mean it when I say I’m sorry about last night.”

“It’s  _okay,”_ Eren insisted, patting her knee as he pulled out of his parking spot. “I get it. I’m just not as exciting as the higher-ups.”

“What _ever,”_ Rue scoffed, shaking her head. Eren chuckled. “I already said I’d make it up to you.”

“How do you plan on doing that?”

“I don’t know, what do you want?”

“That’s a loaded question,” Eren laughed, wincing when she shoved his shoulder. “Huh… A raise, for one, maybe a vacation in Galdin Quay now that it’s not a wreck… Oh, a dog would be  _great._ Speaking of which, I really need a new place.”

“Not  _exactly_  what I was looking for,” Rue admitted. Eren shot her a playful look. “I was expecting, I dunno, a blowjob request or something.”

“Whoa there,” he scoffed, grinning. “I mean if  _that’s_  on the menu…” He cracked up when Rue rolled her eyes, reaching over to her lap and squeezing her hand. “I’m teasing. How about we just do another movie night?”

“Are you asking if I want to sit on my own couch inside my own home with a blanket and a glass of wine? Because that’s a guaranteed yes.”

“Damn, you’re easy.”

“I’m a woman of refined tastes.”

“ _Right_.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded, sitting up straighter. He shrugged.

“Whatever you want it to mean.”

“Fuck off.”

“Gladly.”

The car shuddered to a stop when he pulled the key out the ignition. As he stuffed it into his pocket and reached for the door handle, a mischievous smile crossed Rue’s face. She quickly hit the lock button on her door, and when Eren turned to question her, she practically  _threw_ herself across the console to silence him with a kiss. Startled, he froze up, staring at her in surprise when she pulled away, letting herself out.

“Wow. What was that for?”

“Gotta keep you on your toes, remember?” Rue replied with a dramatic, if not cheesy, wink. Her heart was pounding, soaring, and the panic of the morning faded far from her mind. Maybe, for once, her intuition was wrong.

~|~|~|~|~  
  


Rue heard her phone vibrate on the library desk just as she finished stapling a fresh stack of documents. She paid it no mind, standing and placing it on top of her load, nodding to the poor woman that seemed to live at the librarian’s station and hurrying back to Ignis’s office. He suddenly seemed bogged down with work; it was as though Cor had just dumped every one of Cam’s old assignments on him. Actually, that was probably exactly what had happened. She couldn’t help but feel irritated that the guy was seen as some stupid secretary to dump garbage files on.

“Hey, Rue!” Prompto greeted as she walked past him. She offered him a smile as she struggled to balance the papers while she attempted to turn the handle to Ignis’s door. “You look different today.”

“Ha-ha,” she replied dryly. He rushed to help her, grinning. “How’re you?”

“Pretty good, actually. About to go sit in some stupid meeting with everyone.”

“Everyone being…?”

“Rayne, Gladio, Iggy… The whole gang.”

“Ah.” Somehow, she’d forgotten that Ignis told her he’d be in a meeting that day. “Have fun with that.”

“Will do!” He flicked two fingers off his forehead in a cheerful solute and scurried away.

The office was empty, as expected. With a heavy thud, the papers hit the sturdy desk. Rue got to work dividing the different subjects, attempting to navigate the filing cabinet that stood tall behind Ignis’s desk. The organization only seemed to make sense to the advisor; it usually took her a couple of tries to figure out where everything went.  _Expense reports…_ She stuffed a stack in and closed the drawer, looking back down at what she had left.  _Personal records, communications, transcripts…_ The list ran on and on and on.  _Why’s he need all this BS anyway?_ By the time she finished and collapsed back into Ignis’s swiveling chair, she was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Sighing, she reached over to check her phone. She deserved the break.  _Text from Eren?_

_Meet me in the kitchen in thirty?_

_Thirty?_ Rue checked the time it was sent and quite literally leaped out of the chair.  _Thirty as in **now.**_ She wasn’t about to leave him waiting again. Bracing herself and trying not to twist her ankles in her heels, she hurried down the stairs and into the bright light of the kitchen, doing her very best to ignore the nagging memory of what happened the last time she was here. Eren whirled around, smiling when he saw it was her. But she saw straight through the strained expression, frowning and heading toward the island counter he leaned against.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s  _wrong_ ,” Eren replied. “I’m just… worried.”

“About?” Rue demanded, crossing her arms. He had her on edge.  _This is it. This is the part where he tells you he was mistaken, that he doesn’t like you all that much after all._

“Remember that station I told you about? The one at the Niflheim border?” Rue’s heart sank as though her blood had suddenly turned to lead. She couldn’t speak, so she nodded instead. Eren tore his eyes away from hers, staring at the smooth floor. “Our guys haven’t returned. Rayne’s sending me and Gabriel to check it out.”

“You’re fucking with me.” Eren looked up, startled by her tone. Rue was  _fuming._ “She’s sending you to that  _death sentence?_ ”

“Rue, it’s not like she has much of a—”

“No, she has plenty of choices. This isn’t a fucking coincidence. When do you leave?”

“In two days.”

Shaking her head, Rue glowered at the kitchen door. How stupid had she been to believe that Rayne had actually lightened up on her hatred toward her?  _Last night was simply a way for the psycho to lessen the blow._ Gritting her teeth, Rue started toward the exit.

“Wait, where are you—”

“Giving that bitch a piece of my mind,” Rue snapped, shoving the door hard that it swung all the way back and slammed into the wall behind it.

“Rue!”

Rue ignored his plea and stormed toward Rayne’s office. The walls were solid stone, otherwise, she might have punched a hole in the wall with the doorknob when she threw the door open. Instead, a new dent marked the steel. Rue slammed the door behind her, sitting stiffly in the chair before the desk. She could feel that her cheeks were bright red, that her chest was heavy and her throat was tight. She was  _pissed._

The minutes passed by at the speed of light as Rue chased scenarios around her head. By the time the door clicked, her anger had tripled in intensity. She stood sharply, turning to face the entrance. She was  _shaking_. Rayne and Gladio froze in the doorway, not at all expecting to see her standing there with a scowl on her face. Clearing her throat, Rayne muttered something to Gladio and closed the door behind her.

“Look, I know why you’re—”

“What the  _fuck_ is wrong with you?!” Rue demanded, fists balled at her sides. Rayne frowned, immediately far more defensive than she was upon arriving. “I know you hate me, but goddamn _,_ this isn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy!”

“This has nothing to do with how I feel about you,” Rayne insisted, walking past her to get to her desk. She set her backpack down and crossed her arms, scowling at Rue.

“Really? I find it hard to believe that the  _day after_ I tell you about me and Eren, he’s suddenly ordered to be shipped off to what seems to be a death sentence!”

“First of all, I had my hunches about you two before you said  _anything_.” Rayne was clearly ticked off by now, moving stiffly and staring Rue down. “And second, I’m sending Eren because I know he’s a good soldier and he has good odds of—”

“Didn't the others have good odds too?” Rue retorted, slamming her palms down onto the desk. A cup of colorful pens rattled to her left, toppling over and spilling onto the floor. “Put yourself in someone else’s shoes for once, dammit! What if I sent  _Gladio_ out there when  _literally_ everyone else who’s gone has died?”

“We don’t know they’re dead!” Rayne shouted, unafraid to get in the assistant’s face. “And for  _fuck_ _'s_ sake, I’d have  _faith_ that he’d make it!”

“ _Eren’s not Gladio,_ ” Rue hissed, teeth gritted. The part that was driving her to confront this woman a second time was the same part that drowned her urge to back off in adrenaline. Rayne shook her head, being the first to step back.

“What do you want me to do, Rue?”

“Get your own skin out there instead of hiding in Insomnia!?” Rue threw her hands out to the side. “Stop killing people for your own sake?! Get your head out of your ass! I don’t—”

“You think I like what’s happening!?” Rayne demanded.

“I think you fucking  _relish_ in the power and you don’t want to lose it.” Rue’s voice was quiet, nearly a growl. There was nothing but  _hatred_ burning through her veins. She was sick of the world trying to rip away everything that mattered to her. Something shifted in Rayne’s demeanor; she went from red hot to stone cold in a split second.

“Get out.”

“I’m not done—”

“ _Get. The fuck. Out.”_

Unable to see a route to change, Rue made the mature decision to give Rayne the finger on either hand as she headed toward the door, jerking it open and slamming it  _hard_ behind her. Gladio stood outside, watching her in uncomfortable silence as she stormed past and headed to Ignis’s office. She hardly even saw him. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside and calmly walked toward the seat in from of his desk. The advisor glanced up, frowning when he saw her reddened face and her trembling hands.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Rue swallowed the lump in her throat. “No. I don’t know.” She sounded empty.

“…” Ignis was unsure of how to respond, so he glanced down at his notes from the meeting he’d just attended. “… I have a pro—”

“I can’t do this,” Rue groaned, burying her face in her hands. Her glasses tumbled to the floor. Still confused, Ignis simply watched in silence as her fingers gripped her hair and tugged. She rocked back and forth with sharp, jerky movements, shaking horribly.

“Do what?”

“I don’t know.”

“What?”

“I don’t…” Rue took a deep, trembling breath. “Did you know Rayne was sending Eren to that post outside Niflheim?”

“I can’t say she’s shared many of her plans with me.”

“Shit.” Rue shook her head, drawing her knees up to her chest. “I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”

“Are you certain you’re feeling alright?”

“Ignis, just… Please.”

“…” The tactician frowned, adjusting his glasses. He had to reread his notes in order to get his mind back on track. “I have a proposition for you.”

“Yeah?” She felt numb, staring at the patterns in the wood of his desk.

“Yes. Recently, Noctis was contacted by the leader of Altissia, Camelia Claustra. She would like to meet with him in person. She’s agreed that he should bring a group of retainers, both for protection and for advising purposes.”

“You want me to hold down the fort?” she asked distantly. Ignis shook his head, trying to detach from his urge to ease her suffering.

“Quite the opposite, actually. Cor is likely the best person to manage the Crown City while Noctis is gone, and that leaves an extra spot open.” Ignis adjusted his glasses yet again, unsettled by her lack of reaction. “You mentioned your desire to leave the city more often, and your training with the Glaive would be invaluable.”

“My training?” Rue scoffed, finally looking up at him. “I was deemed ‘mediocre at best,’ Ignis. I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.”

“You made it far enough to know far more than the typical citizen,” Ignis countered. “You saved Prompto and Gladio from a world of hurt and defended yourself in the face of two trained assassins. That’s enough for me.” She made no reply. “Besides, most of what you’ll be facing is the work you were hired for: assistance.”

“For once,” she scoffed, but her tone was lighthearted. Rue discovered that she was beginning to feel a bit better at the prospect of getting out of Insomnia for a spell, even if it was potentially dangerous. Even if nothing happened, it would still be good to get a breath of fresh air.

“Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“When do we leave?”

“Two day’s time.”

“You guys are shit at giving me time to decide, you know that?” she teased half-heartedly.  _That’s when Eren’s leaving…_ Her stomach churned. “Yeah, I’ll go.” Ignis seemed pleased by her answer.

“Excellent. I’ll let the others know.”

“Okay.” Rue tucked her hair behind her ear, letting her legs go back to their usual crossed position.

“Now, what was it that you finished after I left?”

“Oh, right. So, I filed the financial reports from the last two years…”

 


	27. Number Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Shotgun" by George Ezra

_~3 years before~_

_Clouds hazed over the glinting stars in the sky, hiding any semblance of heavenly light. The only source they possessed was the pile of burning logs around them, illuminating the damp cave walls and heating the chilled air. Goosebumps prickled across Rue’s skin as she shed her jacket and threw it over the sleeping body to her left, shuddering. Two men and a woman sat just as she did, camped around the fire in an uneven circle with their bodies pressed to their knees and their eyes reflecting the golden light of the dancing flames. Their stomachs growled angrily, their teeth ground together, and their muscles ached, demanding rest. The feelings were all too familiar those days. Starvation, anxiety, and exhaustion served as the mark of survival, a reminder that they were all still very much alive, though for how much longer none of them could guess._

_“We have to move soon,” the younger of the two men said, looking up at the others in their group. “There’s no point in huddling here forever.”_

_“It’s not for forever,” the woman replied, playing with her clothes as she thought. “Just until the king comes back.”_

_“And when do you think that’ll be?” he demanded, keeping his voice low. “We’ll die here if we don’t leave.”_

_“Then where should we go?” Rue asked softly, tucking her long hair behind her ear._

_“I dunno, somewhere with food?” The young man scoffed, rolling his eyes and tossing a pebble into the fire. “Did anything catch your eye when you went out there, Dex?”_

_“It’s all dead,” Dex replied, shaking his head. He glanced up at Rue, surprised that she’d spoken. “Unless we stop by Hammerhead or Lestallum. I hear those are pretty big posts.”_

_“Yeah, but they made it clear that they want nothing to do with us,” the woman grumbled._

_“Doesn’t help that you picked a fight with the head honcho,” the young man retorted._

_“Well, there’s not much we can do about it now, Alec,” Dex reminded him, sinking back against the cold, rugged wall. “Besides, she had every right to be upset with him.”_

_“What, did he piss in your canteen?” Alec scoffed, scowling at the woman, whose name Rue finally recalled to be Lenna. The cold and the hunger combined were doing things to her brain, making her weak both physically and mentally._

_“Alec,” Dex said sternly, frowning. “Cut it out.”_

_“What? I want to know why, when she had **one** job, she had to go in there and muck it up.”_

_“That’s her busin—”_

_“He killed my son,” Lenna gritted out, glaring into the fire. A heavy silence overtook the camp. Rue felt as though someone had just stabbed her through the heart, staring down at her lap and reaching over to rest a hand on the body beside her. “Took ‘im to on another bloody daemon hunt and came back with no one else. Suppose that means he killed five people.”_

_“…” Alec shut his mouth and his brow furrowed. Dex watched her speak with a sympathetic expression, nodding and playing with the chain around his neck—more specifically, the ring on the chain held to his chest. Alec, clearly ashamed of the way he demanded Lenna’s answer, carefully glanced at Dex. “You… lost someone too, right?”_

_“Yeah.” Dex huffed, leaning forward to drape his arms across his knees. He pulled the necklace off and turned the ring over and over between his fingers. “My wife.” Alec nodded. “You?”_

_“My parents.” He puffed a sardonic laugh, a bitter smile crossing his lips. “Guess no one came out unscathed. Rue?”_

_“No one.” Rue was surprised when the words came from her mouth without a second thought, shocked at the cold, empty tone of her voice. Still, she thought she’d share her piece if they were truly up to talking about who they missed. “Everyone I loved was gone before I came out here.” She squeezed the girl’s arm, finally looking up to meet Alec’s eyes. “She’s all I have now.”_

_“Did they die before the Imperial attack?”_

_“I prefer not to talk about it.”_

_“Gotcha.” Alec dusted off his pants and stood, pacing slowly as he watched Rue rub circles into the sleeping girl’s back. “Y’know, my family practically disowned me after they found out I was headed for prison.”_

_“What for?” Lenna asked stiffly. Alec shrugged._

_“Drug stuff. Distributing and using.” Rue couldn’t help but laugh softly to herself. Her smile caught Alec’s eye and wandered toward her, head cocked to the right. “You’d stay by her side no matter what she did?”_

_“There’s nothing she could do to stop me short of death,” Rue answered sharply, confidently. “I was on my way to prison before the attack, too; that won’t keep me from her.” Alec crouched beside her, smiling down at the girl and smoothing her black hair with his bony fingers. Her pale eyelids twitched._

_“Well then. You’ve got yourself a mother worth dying for, Ana.”_

Rue found herself wide awake long before her alarm was set to go off, curled up on her side with the covers pulled up to her chin. The heat at her back had been constant through the night, just like the arm that was loosely thrown over her waist. Honestly, she was very surprised that Eren hadn’t moved, still locked in the position they’d fallen asleep in. He usually turned over every ten minutes; it usually drove her insane.

Careful not to wake him, she reached for her phone and turned the brightness all the way down, scrolling through the feeds across a variety of apps. Today was the day she and Eren were to leave Insomnia behind, at least for a little while. The prior two days had left a pit in her stomach, and while she never ate much anyway, she found it impossible to consume even her morning coffee. She wanted to have faith that Eren would survive more than anyone in the world, and yet, the lead in her gut told her it was false hope, that she should detach while she was ahead.

Rue stared at her phone until the sun peeked through her curtains and the alarm blared from its speakers. She let it ring long enough to allow Eren to hear before shutting it off with a heavy sigh. There was no more denying the truth; this was the morning she’d have to say goodbye. Eren stirred with a groan, curling up closer. Rue closed her eyes when she felt his lips press to her neck.

“Morning,” he mumbled.

“Morning.”

“You all packed?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Same.”

Eren sighed and sat up, rubbing his face before putting his glasses on. Silently, he reached out and squeezed her shoulder. She stared dead ahead at her closet door, trying to numb the boiling hot fear that burned her eyes and throat.

“It’s gonna be alright.”

“I know.”

“Then stop acting like this is the end.”

“What if it is?”

“Well…” Eren flopped back over, hovering over her and smiling with the utmost sincerity. She hated that he could grin like that at such a time, hated that he could see the bright side when she felt nothing but hatred for reality. “Then thanks for making my last days  _wonderful._ ”

“Don’t talk like that,” she scolded softly, reaching up to brush his shaggy hair out of his eyes. He scoffed.

“Only  _you_ can be pessimistic?”

“That’s right.” She forced a smile, looking over his excited, lively expression.  _He’s too young for this._ “Someone’s got to force me to be happy.”  _Hardly younger than me, and yet, he's still such a child in so many ways. He's got so much left to see._

“I accept,” he teased, kissing her forehead and rolling out of bed. He offered a hand, raising an eyebrow. “C’mon, get up. Where’s your bag? I’ll bring it down to my car.”

“In the living room,” she sighed, accepting his offer and allowing him to drag her to her feet. He nodded, turning on his heels and heading out of the bedroom.

Rue reached toward the chair beside her mirror, unfolding the sweatshirt she’d left there for far too long.  _Rayne will want this back._ Her blood boiled at the mere mention of the woman’s name. All she wanted was the burn the item as a symbol of her disgust at Rayne’s actions, reduce her treasure to nothing but ash. But she couldn’t do that; this was all Rayne had left of her brother, her best friend. Even though Rayne was sentencing her own best friend to death, she wasn’t taking every memory, token, and remnant and cremating it. Perhaps there was still hope after all.

Shaking her head, she tossed it aside and pulled on her own hoodie. Ignis told her not to worry about looking professional. The ride would be long and Gladio would likely force them to camp somewhere; she’d packed a small bag just in case they really were going to be sleeping outdoors. On went her leggings and her boots and her glasses, off when the lights, and out went the assistant, baggy blue sweatshirt in hands. Eren apparently had dressed in the center of her apartment, now changed into his Kingsglaive gear and prepared to defend the honor of his king across borders that truly no longer existed. He raised an eyebrow when he caught her staring.

“Damn, you look like someone kicked your cat.”

“Maybe they did,” Rue muttered, reaching out to pet Honey when she rubbed against her leg with a purr. “Relir confirmed she’s looking out for her, so we don’t have to worry.”

“Now you just have to make sure to remind her,” Eren scoffed, rolling his eyes. Rue smiled, shaking her head.

“I trust Dex to keep her in line.”

“Me too.”

Rue nodded, looking up and shrugging her backpack on. Eren shot her a sad smile when she met his eyes.  _Even you don’t think you’re making it back alive._ He grabbed his car keys and nodded toward the door.

“All set?”

“Yeah.”

Rue shut off the lights and closed the door without looking back, swallowing the memory of the bodies in her doorway as she passed through. She locked the door quickly, following Eren to the elevator where they rode in silence, minus the gurgling of his stomach. Rue felt queasy as she stepped out. A cold sweat broke out across her skin and her head was light.  _This is it. This is where it ends._ She dried her sweaty palms on her pants and climbed into the car, storing her backpack by her feet. When Eren started the car, she pursed her lips and reached out to grab hold of his hand, staring dead ahead at the windshield as her heart pounded in her chest. He watched her for a moment, unsure how to comfort her, before pulling out of the parking lot with one hand on the wheel.

The drive was silent, filled only by the quiet tune playing from the radio. It passed far too quickly. Rue dragged herself out of the car, trembling, and willed herself not to do this again.  _Don’t act like you didn’t expect this._ She watched him unload her suitcase and chewed on her lip.  _But I didn’t…_ Eren offered his signature grin.

“Ready to go?”

“No, but I guess I have to,” she sighed, slinging her backpack on and lugging her suitcase behind her. He laughed, shaking his head.

“I promise it’ll be alright. You’ll have fun.”

“Have you ever been to Altissia?”

“My family used to go all the time, but I’m sure it’s different now.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Past the heavy door to the parking garage, they paused. This is where they were to depart for a time that no one could possibly decide. Rue didn’t know how long it would take for Noctis to come to an agreement; Eren didn’t even know what he was supposed to be doing in Gralia. It was messy, and when it came to Rue’s life, all the messes seemed to blend together into a blur of grays. She wasn’t about to let the very man who’d forced her out of her sullen little depression-hole of an apartment become another streak in her past. She let go of her suitcase and squeezed him into a tight hug, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Promise me you’ll come back.”

“I promise.” He said it with such certainty that she almost believed he could. “And then we’ll go get some ice cream from The Gold Chocobo. How’s that sound?”

“Like a headache, but worth it.”

“A headache?”

“It’s  _obnoxious_ in there.”

“Well, what would you rather do?”

“Drink wine and watch stupid videos.”

“Should’ve known.”

She pulled away just enough to draw him into a kiss, one she expected to be the last.  _What the hell did I do?_

“What the fuck? _”_

Rue nearly jumped out of her skin, pushing out of Eren’s arms and turning to see Relir and Dex standing there, the former with her arms crossed and eyebrow raised and the latter with an apologetic expression. Eren looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“Didn’t think to tell us about this?” Relir demanded, though there was the slightest hint of a smile on her face. “Thought I wouldn’t find out if you just kept quiet?”

“Maybe,” Rue replied, still unsure how to read the woman.

“Right, and you did a good job until I turned a corner at work to see you two making out smack dab in the middle of the walkway.” Relir crinkled her nose, elbowing Dex. “I think they’re worse than  _us.”_

“Don’t put me on that level,” Eren huffed, rolling his eyes. Relir laughed, spreading her arms.

“Well, congrats you two. Rue, gimme a hug before you go suck up to the boss for a week or so.”  _I doubt it’ll be a **week**_. Shaking her head, she gave in, giving Relir a good squeeze before giving Dex a pointed look.

“I expect you to keep my cat alive.”

“Will do.”

“And if you don’t, I’m burning her at the stake.”

“Damn, okay,” Relir scoffed, shaking her head. “Get outta here before they leave your sorry ass behind.”

“ _Okay._ ” Rue turned to grab her bag, glancing up at Eren, who offered yet another smile. Relir groaned, turning around.

“Go ahead, love birds.”

“Fuck off,” Rue retorted, pressing one last kiss to Eren’s cheek and waving as she headed off in the other direction. “See you guys eventually.”

With that, she dragged her bag behind her and found the base of the stairs to the Crownsguard offices.  _Should I text Ignis before pulling this all the way up?_ She looked up the long flight of stairs and nodded, pulling out her phone.  _Yeah, definitely._

_I’m here. Where should I bring my things?_

Rue turned her screen off, praying that his response would come swiftly. Her prayer was answered immediately.

_The front gates. We’re loading up the vehicle now._

_The vehicle?_  Rue frowned, shaking her head and hurrying toward the towering front doors. The halls were dead even though it was far into the morning; it was unnerving. Quickly, she pushed the door open, startled when someone pulled from the other side. Prompto laughed, stumbling back.

“Good morning to you, too!”

“Is everything loaded up?”

“Almost. Give your stuff to Gladio.”

Gladio perked up upon hearing his name, raising an eyebrow at the two. Rue nodded, shoving her suitcase toward him. Really, she wasn’t sure of what to expect in the slightest. Ignis said she was part of security but also still his assistant. He was  _very_ vague about why there were there. When she asked Prompto, he just told her not to worry about it. It would become clear with time.

“Are you almost set to go?” Cor asked, stepping outside.

The sun was shining brightly overhead, heating the Crown City on its warm spring day. For once there was no gray sky or chilly wind to dampen the mood. The whole world seemed at peace, though they all knew that was far from the truth. The chaos was the exact reason they were leaving Insomnia to begin with. Rue watched Gladio toss her suitcase into the trunk of sleek, black SUV as though it hardly weighed an ounce. She nodded, hugging Arma Callen’s sweatshirt to her chest as she searched for Rayne.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You do know we’re camping, right?” Gladio asked with a smug smile as he nudged a lawn chair with his elbow. Noctis rolled his eyes.

“We  _might_ be camping.”

“I figured,” Rue replied, raising an eyebrow at Gladio’s grin. She’d never seen the guy look so excited about anything that wasn’t Rayne’s ass.  _Speak of the devil…_

“Car and offices are locked,” Rayne reported, exiting the Citadel’s enormous doors and twirling a key ring around her finger. She tossed the keys to Gladio, who caught them easily and jammed them into the pocket of his bulky pants. Rue swallowed her pride and turned to face her, offering the sweatshirt up. Her expression was far from friendly. “Damn, took you long enough.” Rue couldn’t help the words from spilling past her lips.

“Be grateful; I wasn’t planning on giving it back at all after the shit you pulled with Eren.”

“Fuck off,” Rayne scoffed, ignoring the men who watched them in awkward, tense silence. She strolled toward Gladio, muttering something no one else could quite catch. Rue didn’t miss that she clutched the sweatshirt to her chest, resting her chin in the soft material as she listed to his quiet response.

“You good holding down the fort alone?” Noctis asked Cor, crossing his arms. Cor nodded.

“I should be fine. Just worry about coming back safely.” The Immortal glanced up at everyone that was to bound for the road with the young king. “All of you. I don’t want to hear about any untimely deaths.”

“We’ll be okay,” Rayne replied, smiling and jerking her head toward Rue. “We brought spazzy as a decoy to throw at the bad guys.”

“Bet,” Rue scoffed under her breath.

" _Spazzy'll_ be just fine if she sticks with me!” Prompto retorted, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pointing to himself with his thumb.

“Right,” Noctis huffed. “Good luck with all this. It’s a mess.”

“Hopefully we can get tidy up in Altissia quickly,” Ignis replied, smiling when Gladio rolled his eyes.

“I nominate Iggy as the driver,” Prompto called, lunging for the passenger seat. Rayne beat him to it, smile wide and eyebrow raised.

“Not so fast, Prom. Someone’s gotta keep Rue company and I  _don’t_ volunteer as tribute.”  _Now you’re just being a bitch for the hell of it._

“Fine, but we get the middle.” Prompto climbed in before anyone could protest. “Gladio ‘n Noct can cram in the back.”

“Course I can,” Gladio grumbled, shaking his head and scaling the leather seats to get in the very back row. Noctis shook his head, shooting Cor a look, and followed. Rue sighed, looking up at Ignis.

“Is she going to be like that this whole trip?”

“You haven’t done yourself any favors,” he pointed out, touching his glasses.

“True…” She watched Prompto dig out his camera and crawl forward to show Rayne, who was already pulling out a pair of earphones. “Do me a favor and do  _not_ let her drive under any circumstances.”

“I’ll be doing everyone a favor,” he muttered in reply, earning a small laugh.

“Y’know, something tells me you’re the only one in this crew with any sense.”

“I might have to agree.” Ignis nodded his goodbye to Cor and started toward the SUV. “I suppose we should get going if we don’t want to get stuck at a haven for the night.” Rue started to follow him, pausing by the trunk.

“Do you want an Ebony from the back before Gladio has to fish for one while we’re moving?”

“That would be splendid,” Ignis answered over his shoulder, shooting her the quickest unreadable look before he disappeared behind a towering black frame and densely tinted windows. Grinning, Rue popped open the trunk and pulled a pair of dark cans from a cardboard box before hurrying to her seat beside Prompto. She cracked one open and handed leaned forward to set it in Ignis’s cupholder before setting aside the other for the inevitable craving that would set in a few hours later. Rayne rolled her eyes.

“Kiss ass.”

Ignoring her, Rue tugged off her backpack, setting it at her feet, and sank into the black leather seat. This vehicle felt expensive, just like all the others she’d been in contact with since Cam hired her. She shuddered; what a time that was. As soon as the car began to move, Prompto leaned over to show Rue a slideshow of photos on his new camera.

“See? I used my old SD card to keep my old pictures from our last trip  _and_ I have more space for more!”

“You can fit all those on there?” Rue asked, feigning interest as he explained all the different settings and features with bright eyes and a bubbly spirit. He excitedly flipped through all the photos from their previous journey nearly five years before. Rue was surprised at how many times she saw Ignis grinning from ear to ear or posing with one of the others.  _Guess he wasn’t always a cranky old man._  It felt like an eternity had passed before they even left the gates of Insomnia.

“I’m going to sleep now,” Noctis announced, curling up on his side and laying his head against the window.

Gladio rolled his eyes and tugged out a rather thick book, flipping to a dog-eared page and picking up where he left off. Rue frowned.  _Didn’t take him for a cheesy novel guy._ Rayne clearly didn’t hear him, having plugged her ears with music Rue could hear from nearly three feet away and closed her eyes, slumping in her seat. Prompto scoffed, continuing to scroll through his photos. Finally, he exited the viewing window and Rue prayed that he was finally done. And he sort of was—but not quite. He scooted closer to Rue and faced the lens toward her.

“Say cheese!”

“Prompto, what—”

“I said I’m sleeping,” Noctis repeated, annoyed. Rue lowered her voice to hissed whisper, scowling at the blonde when he threw his arm across the back of her seat and threw up a peace sign.

“What the hell?” Rue demanded.

“Get used to that,” Ignis warned her, glancing up at the rearview mirror.

“I wanna remember this trip and I want good pictures with my friends,” Prompto explained in a hushed voice, grinning.  _Friends…_ Rue ignored the tugging of her heartstrings and sighed, forcing an energetic smile onto her face as he snapped another photo. “Ha! This first one is priceless!”

“Prompto!” Noctis snapped. Gladio grunted, shooting his king a look. “He won’t shut up!”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m done!” Prompto huffed, continuing to grin down at the photo. Rue couldn’t help but smile, digging through her bag for a pair of headphones and plugging them in.  _It’s been fun, really, but it’s time to drown you idiots out._

 


	28. One of the Guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "IDK" by Bruce Wiegner

After a brief stop at Hammerhead to pick up curatives in order to ease Ignis’s anxiety, the ride officially began its home stretch. Hours passed by and Rue finally turned her music off in order to save her phone battery. She felt Gladio stirring in the seat behind her and it caught her attention—and everyone else’s.

“Hey, Iggy.”

“What is it?” Ignis asked, glancing up at him in his rearview mirror.

“It’s almost dinner time. Why don’t we pull over at the next haven?”

“Seriously, dude?” Prompto groaned, prying himself away from the door he’d curled up against. “Can’t we just tough it to Caem?”

“My ass hurts,” Gladio shrugged, stretching his arms. “And I told you we were gonna camp. You brought your sleeping bag, didn’t you?”

“Rayne brought them all,” Noctis mumbled.  _Good thing I brought my own blanket…_

“I’m not opposed to camping for the night,” Ignis nodded, looking over at Rayne. She shrugged.

“Sure. I don’t care.”

“Oh, man,” Prompto huffed, slouching. “You ever go camping, Rue?”

“You mean aside from the fact that I lived outside for three years?” Rue countered, raising an eyebrow.

“Wait, you were outside the whole time?” Prompto frowned. Even Rayne turned to eye her curiously. “I thought most people went into cities.”

“The people I was with felt trapped inside the cities. We fended for ourselves,” she shrugged, avoiding Gladio’s eyes. She didn’t have the heart to tell him it was because he got her friends' families killed. “I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“Dex was with you, wasn’t he?” Rayne asked, cocking her head to the side. “I feel like he mentioned that.”

“Yeah, he was.” Rue nodded, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. “He saved me and another person I was with on our way out of Insomnia.” She felt as though she shouldn’t say more, but she continued anyway. “He was so busy with us that he couldn’t save his own wife.”

“Wife?” Rayne frowned. “He was married before all this?”

“Yeah.” Rue laughed awkwardly. “Weird, isn’t it? I can’t imagine him with anyone but Relir.”

“Right?” Rayne turned around and sank into her seat. “Relir…”

“On a lighter note, we’ve arrived,” Ignis announced, pulling onto the shoulder of the highway and stopping the car. To their right, a smooth stone decorated with ornate blue symbols beckoned for them to settle in for the evening.

“Everyone out!” Prompto called, prying open his door. 

Rue stepped out of the stuffy vehicle with stiff legs and stretched her arms over her head, taking a deep breath of the warm spring air. The greenery around them was plush and vibrant; she’d never seen something quite like this. She met Ignis’s eye as he exited the car, straightening his glasses and his jacket.

“Tired of driving?” she asked, trying to keep her voice cheery.

“Unlikely with the alternative drivers at our disposal,” he replied dryly, heading to the trunk to help carry things up to the haven.

Rue smiled, shaking her head, and followed, letting Gladio pile a stack of folding chairs into her arms. Prompto collapsed onto his back once he reached the haven, taking a deep breath. Noctis kicked at him with the tip of his boot, dropping an armload of bags beside his friend’s head. Prompto jolted, sitting up straight to avoid getting crushed.

“Dude!  _Not_ cool!”

“Help set up,” Noctis countered, offering a hand to drag Prompto to his feet. the blonde huffed.

“ _Fine_.”

Rue dropped her chairs gingerly, adjusting the weight of the backpack on her shoulders, and turned to Gladio as he set down a tightly compacted tent. He caught her uncertain gaze and jerked his head toward the makeshift shelter at his feet.

“Help me get this up.”

“Yes, sir.”

After much struggle untangling the tent and with Rayne and Noctis loudly arguing over who tore the thing down last in the background, Gladio hammered the last peg into place with the hilt of Noct's sword and straightened, proudly looking over his handiwork. He held up a large hand and Rue jumped, flinching away from it before laughing at her stupidity and giving him a high five.

“She’s beautiful,” she complimented, earning a chuckle from the big man.

“Yeah, she is, ain’t she? Big ‘n warm; just what we need.”

“Our child’s perfect,” Rue teased. Prompto laughed at Rayne’s irritated expression.

“You’re the one who doesn’t want kids!” he pointed out, elbowing her in the ribs. “Hey Iggy, when’s dinner? I’m  _starving.”_

“We’ve only just set up the station,” Ignis replied, rolling up his sleeves and shooting Prompto a look. “Be patient.”

“King’s Knight?” Prompto asked, turning to face the others. Rue shook her head.

“Nah, I don’t want to kill my phone’s battery just yet.”

“Anyone else?”

“I’m taking a nap,” Noctis muttered, heading for the tent with a slumped posture. Gladio grabbed his shoulder.

“Oh no you don’t. You sleep now, and you won’t be able to rest tonight. We’re training.”

“I don’t need to,” Noctis protested.

“Just because you’re king doesn’t mean you can get out of shape,” Gladio countered. Rue laughed, resting her elbow on Prompto’s shoulder.

“Yeah, leave that to the plebes.”

“Oh, you think you’re getting out of this?” Rayne scoffed, crossing her arms. Rue’s heart sank and her smile melted away. “If I remember correctly, one of the reasons you’re here is for security. You didn’t exactly wow me before; let’s see if you’ve improved any.”

“You haven’t let me in that gym in—!"

“Don’t care.” Rayne summoned up a plain sword and thrust in her hands. She nodded toward a clearing to their right. “Over there looks good. This’ll be even better if you’re rusty.”

“I don’t even use a sword!” Rue protested. The amused smile Ignis was struggling to suppress was starting to get on her nerves.

“Guns are for people who don’t know how to fight,” Rayne called over her shoulder, jumping off the edge of the haven. “No offense, Prompto.”

“Gee, thanks,” Prompto huffed, watching Ignis fish for ingredients. “Better get going, Rue.”

"Fuck my life,” Rue huffed, following Rayne.

The weight of the weapon in her hand wasn’t entirely unfamiliar, but it certainly wasn’t the safe choice for her style of fighting, which was, of course, staying as far away from the danger as humanly possible. In training for the Glaive, all recruits spent their fair share of time practicing with a blade, but eventually, they chose their own weapons. A sword was definitely  _not_ Rue’s first choice. Rayne summoned her gunblade to her hand, waiting impatiently.

“I’ll go easy on you,” she promised. Rue rolled her eyes, standing at the ready.

“I doubt it.”

“No magic,” Rayne countered, raising her eyebrows.  _Shit_ _, I forgot she messes with that._

“Sounds great.”

With a final scoff, Rayne rushed forward with a flurry of quick-striking attacks that Rue was rendered breathless after blocking, stepping back. The woman across from her laughed at her immediate exhaustion. Rue gritted her teeth and waited for another attack, taking another step to the side. When Rayne rushed forward again, she dove forward, swinging to strike her from behind. Her blow was parried and she backed off once more. The movements felt faintly familiar; she hadn’t moved like this in months.

“You just gonna stare at me all day?”

“I can’t just rush at you,” Rue huffed.

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

Rayne dove toward her suddenly, sending Rue scrambling to the side. Unsteadily, she swatted away a swing, tumbling onto her knees and rolling over to raise her sword horizontally. Rayne’s blade hit hers so hard that the edge of her sword sliced across her palm as it vibrated from the force. Paying the cut no mind, she quickly rolled out of the way of Rayne’s next move and pushed herself to her feet, rushing to hit her from behind only to be blocked. From the corner of her eye, she could see a green smudge on the front of her sweatshirt.  _Damn_ _, I really liked this thing, too._

“Quit playing on the defensive!” Rayne gritted, running at her.  _That’s it. Get pissed._

However, rather than quickly using Rayne’s impatience against her, she hesitated, forced to slip away at the last moment. Rue quickly lost her balance, nearly toppling with every powerful blow Rayne pummeled into her smaller, weaker blade. She stumbled back after Rayne shoved her weight into her parry, her brain dizzily attempting to catch up to the motions around her. Suddenly, she shoulder was screaming. She looked down to see a slice through the material of her shirt; blood stained the fabric, spreading quickly. Rue was  _very_ annoyed.

“ _Shit_ _!”_ she shouted, lunging at Rayne, sword long forgotten. Either stunned by the accidental injury or utterly confused at her reaction, Rayne didn’t seem to register that she was falling to the ground until she hit it—hard. Her sword dissipated in a shower of blue sparks. Rue gripped her collar, kneeling over her. “This is my favorite fucking  _shirt!”_

Rayne stared up at her with blank eyes—then she burst into laughter, eyes scrunched shut and hands clutching her stomach. Rue glared down at her, watching the blood from her palm stain Rayne’s gray t-shirt. Suddenly, she realized her vision was  _extremely_ blurred. She sat up, squinting as she searched for the gleam of her glasses.  _Shit_ _._ Rayne was still howling beneath her.

“That was over your  _shirt_?! Gods, I need to ruin your clothes more often!”

“Hop off,” Rue huffed, crawling off of her.  _Where the hell…?_ She felt ridiculous, like that stupid cartoon character from her childhood that always complained about how she couldn’t see without her glasses—and then proceeded to constantly lose her glasses.

“What are you doing?” Prompto called from the haven, cracking up. Rue scowled in the direction of his voice, giving up with a huff and sitting down.

“I can’t see a goddamn thing.”

“Are you joking?” Rayne snorted, standing and walking past her. She saw her bend down and stand again, coming back. Rayne crouched before her, sliding the glasses onto her own face and crinkling her nose. “Holy  _shit_ you’re blind.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rue huffed, reaching forward and snatching them off Rayne’s face before shoving them onto her own with a sigh of relief.  _No cracks._ Slowly, she dragged herself to her feet and shot Rayne a cold look. “I really like this sweatshirt, you know.”

“Have Iggy sew it together,” Rayne shrugged flippantly, strolling past her. “Anyway, you’re garbage at offense; we’re gonna work on that.”

Rue had to restrain herself before she bit back, taking a deep breath and forcing herself to stare down at her bloody palm. Huffing, she walked back up to the haven, where Prompto threw an arm around her shoulders. The second Rue caught the scent of whatever Ignis was cooking, her stomach growled loudly and she forgot her pain. Prompto, however, jumped away, startled.

“Dude, you’re  _bleeding._ ”

“What? Oh, yeah.” Rue glanced down at her shoulder. “It looks worse than it is.”

“What happened?” Ignis asked, turning around and eyeing the crimson stains spreading over her skin. He immediately shot Rayne an irate look. She threw her arms out to the side defensively.

“What?! She quit paying attention!”

“I knew you would push it,” Ignis sighed, stepping away from his station. “Show me.”

“They look shallow enough to heal on their own,” Rue said dismissively, raising her hand. Ignis sighed again, raising an eyebrow.

“I would use a potion just in case. I can fix that hole tonight if you’d like.” He looked back at Rayne, touching his glasses. “I’d rather not continue to waste curatives this early on, if you don’t mind.” Gladio and Prompto snickered in the background as Rayne rolled her eyes.

“What _ever._ ” She nodded toward the stove. “What’re you making?”

“A recipe I believe I found in Old Lestallum,” Ignis replied, returning to his station. Prompto offered Rue a potion with a smile.

“That didn’t answer my question,” Rayne sighed, snatching his notebook off the steel countertop. Ignis shot her a disdainful look. “'Tomalley-filled dumplings,’ huh? Doesn’t sound half bad.” Ignis took the book back and scanned over the neat writing before returning to his cooking.

“Ignis can do no wrong in the kitchen,” Prompto teased, keeping a sharp eye on Rue until she used the potion, watching her wounds stitch back together in a shower of green sparks. Satisfied, he pulled out his camera and turned to Noctis, who was slouched against the wall of the ten. “Hey Noct, wanna go look for some good scenery?”

“I’m just about done,” Ignis reminded him. “Either go quickly or wait until later.”

“Let’s get this fire going,” Gladio grumbled, starting toward the stack of logs in the center of the campsite. Noctis summoned a vibrant orange ball to his hand, raising an eyebrow.

“I could just do this.”

“And blow everything up? No thanks,” Gladio huffed, kneeling and getting to work.

Eventually, Ignis plated their dinner and Gladio got the fire roaring brightly. Rue took a few bites, reveling in the taste of something that wasn’t cheap wine or coffee, and then pushed the remainder of her food around her plate until Gladio offered to finish it. Her stomach gurgled in protest when she handed it over gladly. Ignoring it, she sank back in her seat and stared into the licking flames, watching shapes form and dissipate against the darkness that was settling around them. While Prompto and Noctis left to find places worthy of a photo and Rayne helped Ignis clean up, Rue sat on the stone at the edge of the haven, watching the sun lower behind the grassy horizon with wide-eyed adoration.

As the stars became visible, the youngest members of the group returned to show off the fruits of their labor. Rue watched as Prompto scrolled through photo after photo, some of the wildlife and some of Noctis awkwardly posing around the scenery. The conversation was riddled with inside jokes Rue could hardly understand and teasing for each person in the circle—thankfully, Rayne seemed satisfied to keep her mouth shut about her dislike for Rue. Finally, the clock struck eleven and everyone decided it was time to turn in for their early start in the morning.

“Did you lay the sleeping bags out earlier?” Rayne asked, dusting off the back of her pants as she stood. Gladio nodded.

“Yeah. Didn’t have one for her, though.” He turned to face Rue, raising an eyebrow. “You got anything?”

“I brought a blanket,” she nodded, tugging a soft throw out of her backpack. Rayne snorted, shaking her head as she kicked her boots off outside the tent.

“A blanket.” She turned to face her again, arms crossed. “Do you have any idea how cold it gets out here?”

“What part of ‘I lived out here’ don’t you understand? I’m layered up and I have this. I’ll be fine.”

“From what I understand ‘out here’ means outside Hammerhead. Deserts are pretty warm year-round.”

“We’re not that far away,” Rue huffed. “I highly doubt it’ll make that much of a difference.”

Rayne shook her head, shooting Gladio a look before crawling into the tent. He sighed and followed. Slowly, the others filed into the tent, assuming their positions about the tent. Rue entered last, holding her blanket over her shoulders like a fuzzy cape, and peered into the tent. The only people laying down where Gladio and Rayne, who were whispering and laughing and kissing and doing all sorts of gross PDA-type things that people generally avoid at all costs. Rayne capped the row at the right and Noctis took the left edge, sitting cross-legged and quietly talking to Prompto and Ignis who sat in their respective spaces and listened to him tell some story about a video game boss. Uncertain, Rue looked over the cramped space. The tent was big, but it was hardly large enough for six adults.

“Need some room?” Prompto asked, smiling up at her. Awkwardly, Rue adjusted her glasses and nodded, unsure why she felt so nervous all of a sudden. “Noct, scoot over. She can have a little space by Rayne.” _Just my luck._

Rayne glanced up and arched an eyebrow at the girl in the doorway, shifting over with everyone else. Ignis watched as Rue gingerly climbed over Rayne and Gladio and set her large blanket down, curling up and scrolling through an article on her phone. Finally, with exhaustion steadily settling on his shoulders, Gladio reached up and turned the overhead lamp out. Prompto cried out in protest.

“Hey! You can’t just do that without warning us!”

“He just did,” Noctis countered, pulling the edge of his sleeping bag up over his head.

“Goodnight!” the blonde chirped. Gladio grunted something incoherent and everyone else muttered their responses.

Rue hugged her arms to her body and squeezed her eyes shut, praying that the night would pass quickly. When Prompto began shrieking about a bug crawling up his side and trampled Ignis as he tried to get away, it seemed she would be granted no such luck.

 


	29. Cape Caem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Like Gold" by Vance Joy

It turned out that the difference in location had a rather large impact on the weather after all. Not only was it freezing outside, but rain poured down the sides of the wide tent and pattered on the ground through the entire night. The heat emitting from the six bodies packed together like canned sardines was enough to keep them warm for the most part, and if anything woke them, it was a booming clap of thunder that pursued a flash of lightning bright enough to light the heavens. For most, the night passed with little interruption.

However, while the others snoozed, curled up against one another or buried far under their covers, Rue shivered on the cold, hard ground, clutching her blanket tightly around her body and burying her head in the hood of her sweatshirt. Rainwater leaked in from the stitching along the base of the shelter and dampened her clothing, her hair, and anything else that was on the floor around her. At her back, Rayne had pulled away and shoved herself up against Gladio's space heater of a body, apparently unfazed by his loud snoring. Her only source of warmth vanished. Shuddering, Rue checked her phone for the hundredth time and pulled her arms back into her shirt to heat her numbed fingers.  _Four._ Frustrated, she squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to sleep.

As the clouds parted and the sun rose, radiating soft colors, Ignis's internal timer rang loud and clear and his eyes opened as though he'd never been asleep. Silently, he wiggled his way out of his sleeping bag and Prompto's crushing weight that had put his leg to sleep several times throughout the night, reaching for his bag. Quickly, he changed in his regular attire, scanning the tent as he promptly buttoned his shirt. Noct had shoved himself up against the wall of the tent at some point, distancing himself from Prompto, who then latched onto Ignis in his sleep. Gladio and Rayne were entirely entangled, having unzipped the sides of their bags to accomplish such a feat, and Rue… Rue trembled inches away, engulfed in her sweatshirt hood and bundled with the thin old blanket she'd brought along. Ignis sighed; he'd hoped she wouldn't find it too hard to rest.

Smoothing his hair and pushing his glasses onto his face, Ignis stepped outside. The morning air was fresh and humid, heavy with the scent of recent rainfall. A light fog hung over the grass, but above it, the light of the sun declared it was to be a warm and rain-free day. With practiced silence, Ignis prepared to cook breakfast, finding limited supplies in his bag. Perhaps he thought they'd reach Cape Caem in one day. Foolish of him to do so with Gladio being such an advocate for the outdoors. He got to work cooking some eggs and toast—simple, but it would do. As he tried to create a mental list of the things they were to accomplish in the next few days, he discovered that his thoughts constantly reflected back to his assistant.

Ignis was certain that he'd almost gotten to the bottom of it—Rue and her strange, twisted background. He knew it was none of his business, and clearly impolite to inquire, but he couldn't help but wonder what could possibly create such a faltering personality that could simultaneously change in half a second and morph someone into a new person altogether. Half the time she was reserved, keeping to herself and doing as she was told. The other half, she cracked jokes and bit back at Rayne's insults. Some days she went the extra mile. Others she couldn't seem to make the first. It was strange, this constant shifting, and he understood that it must have something to do with the crucial details she so stubbornly refused to mention when she gladly answered questions about her life before her work at the Citadel.

But the key detail in her decision to work for him, he believed, was in her interest in the Kingsglaive. She'd worked for weeks on perfecting her craft, on stubbornly attending extra training and eating right and receiving criticism. Perhaps she overworked herself, but what was it all for, in the end, when she was turned down? Why had she persisted? Ignis couldn't remember the last time someone cared  _that_ much about working in the Citadel above all places. It was hardly a safe place to make one's career. Perhaps her purpose in adamantly insisting to work under Ignis was to be seen by Rayne, a constant reminder that she was always available to join them in the fight to defend Noctis. The crucial question, then, was why?

Ignis sighed, shaking his head as he tossed in a pinch of salt, keeping a close eye on the meal. And then there was that name, the very reason he couldn't find her record to begin with all those weeks ago. Nowhere could he find a woman named Rue Corden because there was, in fact, no one with that legal name in their system. Somehow, after organizing the files and realizing a crucial flaw in maiden names, Ignis became curious and searched for a more general subject: simply the name "Rue." And, with "Rue" being a relatively unpopular name amongst the people on Insomnia, likely because it could be defined as "regret", he discovered a matching profile to hers under the name Rue Ventus.  _Of course,_ he'd thought at the time.  _Her husband._ The two already had that conversation, but it felt as though her bitterness brewed much deeper than a love gone awry.

Ignis passionately despised ambiguity, and Rue's identity was nothing  _but_. It hardly helped the headache that began to throb through his skull, and so he cast aside the circle-chasing and focused on his cooking. Inside the tent behind him, Rue stirred awake, giving up on sleep and sitting to stretch her arms over her head. Everyone else was still fast asleep, though she noticed that Ignis was gone and she could hear the soft sizzling of a hot pan outside.

Sighing, she debated on whether or not she should go bother her boss when she likely looked so  _awful._ Still, listening to Ignis mutter about his schedule sounded better than sitting in a warm puddle. Carefully, she stood and stepped over Rayne and Gladio, ducking her head as she headed outside. Her muscles ached with soreness from the day before. Ignis's back was to her as he worked, but he heard her footsteps and spoke before she closed the flap behind her.

"Did you sleep alright?"

"Honestly?" Rue asked, hardly able to keep her eyes open as she shuffled toward his kitchen setup. "Not at all. I'll probably sleep inside the car today."

"I apologize," he replied sincerely, glancing up from the pan before him. "I should have realized you wouldn't own camping supplies and—"

"It's my own fault," Rue shrugged, leaning against the counter. Sleepily, she pushed her sliding glasses up. "I should've realized that Gladio would make us stay out here."

"... Touché."

"How'd  _you_ sleep? The storm bother you at all?"

"If anything bothered me it was Prompto," Ignis muttered, earning a soft laugh. He looked up to see Rue smiling and shaking her head. Her eyes were hardly open, marked with dark patches that stained her pale skin. He couldn't help but notice that she'd steadily been growing thinner and thinner during her time at the Citadel, though he quickly put the thought away. Clearly, from what he could see, her weight was something of a touchy subject.

"Is he pretty cuddly?"

"He prefers… closeness." Ignis began to fill plates, glancing back up at her now and then. He couldn't help but be concerned. "Am I correct in assuming that breakfast still makes you sick?"

"Yeah," she sighed, ruffling the hair that had flattened to her head in the night. "I'm kinda jealous of the people that can stomach food in the morning."

"Most people I come in contact with are practically ravenous in the morning," he answered, raising an eyebrow and looking back toward the tent. "Then again, they're all I've been in contact with for quite some time."

"They're an interesting bunch," she nodded, her voice lighthearted. "And by they, I mean you all."

"Don't forget that you're part of this too," Ignis chastised, lifting an electric coffee brewer up and pulling two mugs out from a hidden shelf in the set. "I'm hardly excusing you from liability to the chaos."

"Gee, thanks." Rue watched as he poured two cups of coffee and handed one over.

"I apologize for my lack of cream."

"No biggie." Ever grateful for his attention to the smaller details of life, she accepted the cup and gingerly took a sip of the steaming drink. He turned to lean his back against the counter, eyeing the tent.  _Probably willing Noctis to get his ass up._ "So… If you don't mind me prying a bit further into this, what exactly are we going to Altissia for?"

"The secretary I mentioned before would like to make some semblance of a peace agreement with Lucis," Ignis explained, focused on some point in the distance. "We've worked as allies before, but since the destruction of her city and the reestablishment of Insomnia, she's been quite distant. Apparently, there have been riots and outright acts of crime in protest to the idea of an alliance with the Crown City."

"People hate us that much?"

"Not necessarily. It's more the hesitation to have another ruler's laws to contend with."

"Understandable."

"However, we don't want to argue over whose land is whose and which power to answer to. We simply ask for peace between our lands." Ignis sighed, turning to face Rue. "When that organization of protesters, the children, attacked the Citadel, you said you could understand the upset. Perhaps you understand why the people of Altissia are so adamant about refusing our aid?"

"I dunno." Rue laughed nervously, setting her cup down on the counter beside her. Under the stare of his sharp green eyes, she felt as though she was caught in a spotlight, uncertain how to answer. "I guess… To them, Lucis is the reason their home was ripped to shreds. Then, right as they start to recover, the sun disappears and they lose their loved ones to monsters. Not everyone had faith in His Majesty's role as the Chosen King." She sighed, jamming her hands into her sweatshirt pocket. Ignis's brow furrowed. It was so simple; why couldn't he have realized that on his own? "I have to be honest; even I didn't really believe he would come back. I had to hope for the people I cared about, but I can't say I  _really_ believed it. To me, you guys were a bunch of bigots who were obsessed with some idea you'd been force-fed all your lives."

"And look at you now."

"Who says I think differently?" she retorted, grinning. She was startled so see Ignis smile, reminding herself that he was, in fact, a human being. He shook his head, taking a drink of his coffee.

"I should have thought of that on my own."

"Hey, it's tough being on the other side of things," she shrugged, following suit. The drink was bitter and hot, but she already felt a thousand times better after her night of no sleep. "Sometimes you're just forced to be blind to another perspective."

"…" Ignis straightened, his eyes narrowed as an idea caught itself in his mind's eye. "Did you pay much attention to the treaty between ourselves and the Imperials at Tenebrae about five years ago?"

"The arranged wedding garbage? Yeah," Rue snorted. "And I didn't buy it. I knew they'd have something up their sleeves."

"Both sides had the same plan. Lure in the enemy and destroy them."

"… Rayne was part of that, wasn't she?"

"Yes." Something shifted in Ignis's demeanor. He seemed… defensive almost. "She was not informed of the plan, neither were any of we, and so she resigned herself to the fact that she'd have to leave Insomnia with a man she didn't know. Resignation works wonders on the mind."

"What do you mean?" Rue frowned. "I thought he forced her to drive him outside Insomnia with a bomb but then the Glaive was able to stop them before they reached the limits."

"That's how the media portrayed it." Ignis took another sip, shifting his shoulders. There was a peculiar look on his face. "She told me she loved him—she still does. That they planned his escape so that they could both live. They planned to stay in connect after it all blew over." A heavy silence took over.

"She… betrayed the king, then?"

"I suppose so." He shook his head. "It's a strange feeling to know you only have so much time before a piece of your identity disappears altogether."  _A piece of your identity?_ Rue frowned up at him, but he'd set his cup down and was headed for the tent.  _What was that all about? An example of seeing the other side? He made it sound like her downfall._

Breakfast passed by relatively as a relatively peaceful event. Even Prompto was quiet, shoveling his food into his face before busying himself taking photos, including several selfies with Rue in which she looked half dead. Then, after getting changed and packing all their things, they loaded into the SUV and got back on the road. Rue pulled her damp blanket up over her shoulder and leaned her head against the door, dozing off into a light sleep almost immediately. Ignis caught sight of her in his mirror, wrestling a smile at her gawking mouth and the quiet click of Prompto's camera as he snapped pictures of his napping assistant. Rayne raised her eyebrow at his expression, rolling her eyes and watching the world pass by at high speed.

Before Rue could fully open her eyes as the car pulled to a stop, someone opened her door and she tumbled to the ground, just barely catching herself. Groaning, she looked up at a sheepish Noctis, who rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sorry. I forgot you were in there."

"It's okay," she dismissed, quickly getting to her feet.

It was strange talking to the king himself so casually, but he didn't exactly present himself as royalty in the presence of his friends. She grabbed her backpack, adjusted her glasses, and sleepily looked around. A stone path led up a wooded seaside cliff and at its very end towered a lighthouse. The sun shone down directly over their heads; Rue frowned.  _Only noon?_ She was honestly disappointed that the day wasn't over yet. She wasn't ready to deal with Rayne for another minute. Ignis caught her eye as she shot him a confused look; why was Noctis digging around under her seat?

"Aer you almost ready, Noct?" Ignis called. The king straightened, fishing rod and tackle box in hand. Rue had no words to describe her confusion.

"Yeah. Let's hit it."

"You couldn't have parked closer to the pier?" Prompto whined as they took off in the opposite direction of the path. Rue still felt  _very_ lost. Gladio passed by her, jerking his head toward Noct's back.

"He's got a thing for fishing."

"What?" Rue frowned, hurrying to keep up. " _Fishing?_ "

"Yeah. It's his only hobby other than slacking off."

"Huh." She watched Rayne playfully shove Ignis's shoulder, laughing with Prompto. "How long does this usually last?"

"A few hours."

" _Hours_?"

"Yeah." Gladio chuckled, scratching his beard. "I usually make sure my phone's charged before we head out."

"Shit," she huffed, swatting at a mosquito that landed on her arm.

They trekked through the wilderness on a downward slope, shoving aside branches and fanning bugs out of their faces. Finally, they made it to a short dock on the shore. Rue stared in awe at the crystal-clear water, the fine white sand, and the colorful reef that grew along the shallow end of the water. Prompto laughed at her face.

"I forgot you've never been here."

"It's  _gorgeous!"_  Rue gushed, hurrying to rejoin the group after a snapping a few photos with her phone. "You're seriously unfazed?"

"I've seen it a few times," he shrugged. "I guess you start to take that stuff for granted when it's always around, huh?" He lowered his voice, grinning. "Must be how Noct feels about all the servants and gossiping ladies."

Rue rolled her eyes with a smile and elbowed him, watching the king set up his gear before casting his line. Nothing happened except for a sudden silence that overtook everyone as they settled on the ground or against the rock wall of the cliff. Rue awkwardly sat in the sand beside Prompto, checking her phone for any messages from Eren. Nothing. Her stomach clenched and she sighed, setting her phone aside. Prompto hugged his knees to his chest.

"Are you worried about him?"

"Huh?"

"Eren." He smiled weakly. "Rayne rants to me a lot."

"Oh." Rue felt her face go red as she recalled her reaction to Eren's station. "Yeah, I am. And I know he's probably just super busy, but I wish he'd let me know if he's okay."

"He  _is_  super busy." They both looked up to see Rayne coming to sit beside Rue, who immediately felt her guard go up. "And even at night, when you'd think he'd have time, he's probably so exhausted that he's asleep the second his head hits the pillow."

"What are they even doing out there?" Prompto asked.

"There's a lot of resistance out by Niflheim," she sighed, crossing her legs and tossing a rock into the water. "To the point that there are riots of sorts every day. To be frank, it's like a mini war zone. Those people have been brainwashed into thinking Noct wants 'em all dead for what their chancellor did to the world. Couldn't be further from the truth."

"Why's everyone gotta make this so difficult," Rue huffed, shaking her head. Rayne scoffed.

"Right? We're not taking over your land; do whatever the hell want with that. We just want to know you're not about to wage another war on our asses." She shook her head. "Anyway, they're out there to fight back, put down the resistance without making martyrs.  _Hopefully,_ this is the last crew." She took a deep breath, watching the water reel in and out. "And I know you probably don't believe me, but I didn't send Eren out there to spite you. He's a good soldier; I trust him to do the job well."

"…" Rue watched a stream of wispy clouds float overhead, crossing her legs. "I know. I do, too."

"He'll come back." Prompto's words stung her heart and she swallowed the lump in her throat, shaking her head.

"I'm not so sure, and I'd rather not hold onto false hope. Having low expectations saves me from a world of hurt."

"Damn, someone's depressed," Rayne muttered, tossing another rock into the sea. Rue shrugged.

The time seemed to drag on as Noctis stood staring at the water for an excessively long time. It seemed as though nothing would take the bait—and then something finally did. Everyone leaped to their feet, rushing over the end of the pier to see what Noctis hooked. The fish was enormous, and it looked like something far more prehistoric than something modern. Noctis strained to reel the fish in. Rue watched passively, though she had to admit there was some element of excitement to seeing the result of their patience.

"Ease off on the reeling," Gladio warned as the line tightened and the rod bent.

Finally, the fish was exhausted enough for Noctis to kneel down and hook some strange tool through its jaw. However, when it came time to actually pull it up, Noct's arms shook under the weight of the creature. Quickly, Prompto fell to his knees to help, gritting his teeth.

"What  _is_  this thing?!"

"Rue, you're up front. Help them," Rayne demanded.

Rue sighed, crouching and grabbing hold of the front of the tool. The three of them strained, slowly dragging the fish up out of the water.  _Holy shit!_ The thing had to be at least four and a half feet long, perhaps even that wide. It was  _huge._ Suddenly, the fish began to flounder, splashing water up into their faces. Prompto shouted, and without thinking, let go of the line, scooting backward. Noctis and Rue lurched forward, startled. The king let go; for some reason, Rue did not. Instead of falling on her backside like the boys to her left, she went toppling headfirst into the seawater. Without thinking she gasped for air, struggling as she tried to find the surface with her eyes squeezed shut.

When she finally did surface, she choked, shivering in the freezing cold shadows of the cliff while salty seawater poured from her lungs. Rayne was  _cackling_ , doubled over and gripping her knees. Prompto cringed out and apologetic look and Noctis paid her no mind, distressed at his loss of the monster fish of his dreams. Gladio looked like he was trying to gauge Rue's reaction before he decided whether or not to laugh. Still, he was grinning like a fool. Ignis looked less than amused as Rue waded her way to the pier, slowly dragging herself up onto the dock.

"P-P-Prompto, I'm gonna k-kill you!" she threatened through chattering teeth, squeezing water out of her soaked clothes and trembling uncontrollably. "Why's it so damn c-cold?!"

"It's only April," Rayne wheezed, wiping the tears off her face. "I'm sorry, I just—" She stopped to laugh again. "Seeing you fucking  _fly_ into the water—" She lost control again, clutching her stomach. Rue shuddered miserably, shaking her wet hair out of her face. Her eyes and throat were  _burning_ and she was certain she was about to die from hypothermia at any moment.

"Guess we should go up to the house now, huh?" Prompto said, standing and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Noct stared wistfully out at the water. "Sorry about that, Noct. I forgot about that thing once it tried to ruin my hair."

"It was so big," he muttered. It was the closest Rue had ever seen him to heartbroken.

"That's what she said," Rayne uttered, elbowing Rue. "Gods, that's  _cold._ "

"Yeah, how d-do you think I f-f-feel?!" Rue snapped, ripping off her glasses to try and wipe off the water droplets. Then she remembered all of her was wet and ground her teeth. Ignis sighed, plucking them from her fingertips and carefully drying them on the edge of his shirt. "That's what I g-get for helping p-people."

"Here." Ignis handed her glasses back promptly, nodding toward the path up.

Quickly, they began the walk back up the hill, leaving Ignis and Rue to trail behind the main group. She shivered miserably as the heat of the sun beat on her back. Her clothes were ice cold and heavy; crossing her arms tightly, she glowered at the grass beneath her feet. Ignis tore his eyes away from Noctis's slumped shoulders.

"Doing alright?"

"I'm cold," she grumbled.

"So you've said. Your lips have gone blue."

"Great." Rue shuddered again.

"I would offer my jacket, but I doubt it would do much."

"I wouldn't want to ruin it anyway."

"I suppose not." Ignis adjusted his glasses. "Speaking of which, I will fix that sweatshirt of yours tonight."

"You don't have to," she pointed out, shooting him a look. He nodded.

"I know. But I doubt you'll do it yourself and I don't mind having something to do other than look at pictures on Prompto's phone." Rue laughed softly, shaking her head. Suddenly, her heart jumped.

"Shit! My phone!" She dug the device out of her pocket and attempted to turn it on. Ignis took it from her hand before she could do so.

"If it still works, you won't want to short circuit it. We'll see if Iris has any rice in the kitchen."

"Iris?" Rue frowned.  _Who the hell…?_ "Oh, right, Gladio's sister."

"Yes. She's stationed out here with Rayne's brother, Signum. They want to catch us before we leave."

"Are they an item?" Rue asked, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, wait, nevermind. He's with Axel, isn't he? Or are they more confusing than that?"

"As far as I know, Iris and Signum are not 'an item,'" he replied, his voice nothing short of amused at the prospect. "Gladio would have a fit."

"His girlfriend has enough of those for him," Rue scoffed, rolling his eyes. Ignis smiled, shaking his head.

Once they reached the top, having stopped to grab their suitcases on the way, a young woman a little shorter than Rue and with much darker features rushed out of the door of the small cottage at the base of the lighthouse, grinning from ear to ear. Rue hardly had time to see what she looked like before she'd launched herself at Gladio, shouting something nonsensical. A blonde young man peeked his head out of the doorway, raising an eyebrow.

"Gladdy!" the girl squealed, letting go of her brother to tuck her shoulder-length hair behind her ear and smile up at him. "We've been waiting all day! Signum saw the car at the end of the drive but we had no idea where you guys went."

"Fishing," Prompto answered cheerfully. Iris turned with bright amber eyes, her face faltering when she saw Rue's sopping wet clothes.

"Whoa, what happened to  _you_?"

"Noct bit off more than he could chew," Ignis explained before Rue could make a snappy response. "This is Rue Corden, my assistant."

"Nice to meet you!" Iris turned back to Noctis. "Good to see you again, too, Noct."

"Yeah," Noctis nodded, glancing over at Signum. The kid hadn't budged. Rayne groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"What the hell is he doing?" she grumbled, motioning for him to join them. "Gods, he's so  _awkward._ " Signum slowly made his way toward them, dressed in a loose sweater and a pair of tight jeans, hands jammed in his pockets. "Signum, this is my nemesis Rue, Rue this is my asshole brother, Signum."

"Cool." Signum huffed, glancing over at Rue. His eyes lacked the life Iris's sparkled with. "Are we going in? Your nemesis looks cold."

"Since when do you care about people?" Rayne scoffed, forcing her brother into a tight hug. He shot Iris a look over Rayne's head and she laughed.

"Since I relate to being hated by you."

Even Rue had to snicker at that one.

"Whatever," Rayne scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You gonna let us in or should we stay out here tonight?"

"… The door's unlocked."

" _Cool,_ " she mocked, grabbing her bag and leading the way inside the cabin. "How many beds did you guys put together?"

"Well, we didn't know we'd have a guest," Iris explained, offering Rue a smile, "so we just set up the two bunk beds upstairs. Figured you and Gladdy would be together—"

"They're never apart," Signum grumbled. Gladio shot him a look as Iris continued, ignoring him.

"Maybe Prompto and Noctis can share?"

"I want my own," Noctis huffed. "Prompto doesn't know what personal space is."

"I can bunk with Iggy," Prompto offered. Rue recalled Ignis's complaint about Prompto's sleep-clinging and took a deep breath to embolden herself. It was the least she could do.

"Or with me," she offered, shooting Prompto a grin. "Iggy deserves his own bed after all that mothering."  _Gods, did I actually just call him_ _Iggy? Kill_ _me now._ Still, she kept her forced smile up even as Ignis raised an eyebrow. Rayne snorted at the sound of his nickname on her lips. "Seriously! I'm pretty small; you won't even notice me.  _And_  you might grow some manners since you're bunking with a  _lady."_

"Lady," Gladio repeated under his breath.

"What?" Rue snapped. "It's just a thought."

"Sounds good!" Prompto grinned, resting an elbow on her shoulder. "Bunk buddies!" She bumped the fist he offered with forced enthusiasm. It was hard to be excited when she was still soggy.

After a long evening of talking with Signum and Iris, everyone was finally ready to turn in, ready to head for Altissia in the morning. It took nearly two hours to get everyone through the only bathroom, but finally, they all piled into the tiny bedroom across the house from the room Iris and Signum were sharing. Gladio and Rayne took the bottom by the door and Noctis claimed their top bunk, fast asleep before Ignis returned from his shower. Rue couldn't help but frown at his hair as it fell before his eyes instead of lying back on top of his head. Ignis looked like some sort of generic anime boy, and to her, that was  _hilarious._

Shaking her head, she laid back beside Prompto, watching him play with the filters on his camera. Finally, Ignis tucked his things away and turned off the lights, climbing onto the bunk over Rue's head. Exhausted from her lack of sleep the night before, Rue felt her eyelids grow heavy immediately. The warmth of Prompto's back against hers was a welcome feeling, comforting even. Smiling softly, she closed her eyes and sank down under the covers. The creaking of Ignis shifting woke her just as she was about to drift off. Sighing, she tried to cut out the sound of Rayne whispering to Gladio, accidentally hitting her head against Prompto's. He laughed it off and muttered something under his breath. It was about to be another long,  _long_  night.


	30. Altissia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "27" by Fall Out Boy

If Ignis was right about anything, it was that Prompto had a tendency to crush people in his sleep. When the first alarm went off in the morning, her foot was the numbest it had ever been, trapped under Prompto’s knee. Somewhere in the night, he’d sprawled out, grabbing onto anything nearby, including Rue herself. Once she got used to his tossing and turning and touching, though, she was out like a light.

Noctis groaned loudly as he stretched, the light of his phone screen illuminating the room while the thick curtains over the window blocked out any sun. Prompto sat up slowly, pulling away from Rue as if he’d stayed on his respective side of the narrow mattress all night. And, while Rayne and Gladio gradually woke up grumbling insults at each other, Rue swung her legs out of bed and headed to the bathroom with her things before anyone could claim it. She changed into her third sweatshirt of the week and pulled on her favorite pair of leggings before brushing her teeth, refusing yet again to use her dreaded contacts and stumbling out of the bathroom, where Rayne and Gladio were talking in hushed voices and serious faces. The stopped immediately upon Rue’s exit.

“What’s up?” Rue asked, frowning. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Rayne replied defensively, shooting Gladio a threatening look. “Nothing that concerns you.”

“ _Okay._ ”

Rue walked past the couple and headed back to the room. Noctis hadn’t budged, and Prompto was looming over him with a water bottle. He froze up seeing Rue, pressing a finger to his lips. She sighed, shaking her head, and putting her things away before heading downstairs. For the first time since they left, she didn’t feel like complete and utter  _trash._ Iris, seated at the long wooden table outside the cramped kitchen, smiled up at Rue as she took the stairs two at a time. 

“Hey! How’d you sleep?”

“Really well,” Rue admitted. “Y’know, despite the cuddle-attacks of our blonde pal.” She peered into the kitchen, where, predictably, Ignis was busying himself. “Speaking of our blonde pal, he’s currently dripping water into Noctis’s ear. Should I be concerned?” Iris laughed.

“How’s fatherhood, Iggy?” Ignis shot her an unamused look before glancing over at Rue.

“No,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I gave up on reprimanding him years ago.”

“ _Prom!”_ A rather loud thud echoed through the small cabin. Rue raised an eyebrow at the advisor, who seemed entirely unfazed, though a tad annoyed.

“Are they okay?”

“We’ll see in a moment, won’t we?” Ignis muttered as thundering footsteps hurried down the stairs, followed by the sound of Prompto’s breathless laughter. The gunman wheezed at the base of the staircase, looking up at the small overhang where Noctis scowled down at him, face dripping with water.

“Yeah, I guess they are.”

“Prompto might get his ass kicked if he’s not careful,” Iris added with a giggle. “When are you guys heading out? Cid’s coming all the way from Lestallum to drive the boat out there.”

“That’s not necessary,” Ignis frowned. “He’s hardly in any condition for such a trip.”

“Yeah, well, it’s kinda hard to tell him ‘no,’” she admitted with a shrug. “I’m sure you get it after all that time you spent with him during the Darkness.”

“He’s stubborn,” he agreed, turning over the eggs in his pan.  _Eggs. Why is it always eggs?_

The morning passed by without many more eventful happenings. Just as everyone had finished their breakfast (or their coffee, if their names were Rue and Signum), the puttering of an old truck sounded at the end of the driveway. Prompto’s face lit up and he rushed out the door. Noctis rolled his eyes, letting Ignis take his dirty plate, and stood to follow.

“Gotta keep him from drooling on Cindy,” he explained as he was halfway out the door.

“Don’t worry about cleaning up,” Iris assured Ignis as he started to run the water. “Sig ‘n I can take care of that stuff once you guys are gone.”

“You’re sure?”

“Of course!”

With that, Gladio ushered everyone outside to greet their favorite nude mechanic and her cranky grandpa, who made several picky snaps at Noctis about his posture and ignored Rue altogether until they got off the elevator in the lighthouse. His sharp eyes scanned over her, narrowed, and he shot Noctis a stern look.

“Who’s she? One of your concubines?”

“Uh, no.”

“She could be, for the right price,” Rayne muttered, elbowing Gladio. Rue pretended she didn’t hear, though it was obvious the others did. Still, they were too polite to ask.

“Well? Introduce her,” Cid snapped, crossing his thin arms. His scowl was even scarier under the dim lights of the dock, hidden beneath the shadow of his weathered baseball cap.

“I—” Rue started, cut off when Cindy stepped out in front of her with a pout on her lips.

“Paw Paw, I already  _told_ you. She’s Ignis’s assistant for personal matters.”

“What, like a therapist?” the old man croaked, shooting Rue a glare when she laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. “Quit yer gigglin’!”  _Shit_ _._ “Are we headin’ to Altissia or aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we are,” Noctis nodded. Cid huffed, grabbing a key off the wall and heading toward the boat that was docked at the edge of the water behind them. Rue wondered how water hadn’t soaked all the furniture in the room.

“Get yer stuff in the back and then we’re headin’ out.”

“Bye Gladdy!” Iris said cheerfully, squeezing the life out of her big brother. “Be safe!”

“Will do,” Rayne winked, earning a groan from her brother. She threw an arm around his shoulders and ruffled his hair. “And  _you_ be safe with Axel, yeah?”

“Stop,” he huffed, trying to push away. She grinned, forcing him into a hug and then releasing the poor boy. “You don’t have to be so weird about it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re my little brother and he’s my son.” Her eyes lit up and she laughed. “Dude, you’re a creepy uncle!”

“Seriously?” he grumbled, shaking his head. Prompto laughed.

“Have fun, Signum!” she called over her shoulder as she headed toward the boat, lugging her suitcase behind her. Cid watched them load their things with a scowl.

“Why the hell do ya’ll need all this stuff? You were fine with the clothes on your back last time.”

“Guess we’re just living in the lap of luxury,” Rue muttered. Ignis huffed a short laugh, turning back to the old man.

“Are you certain you’re willing to take us? It’s quite the—”

“I didn’t haul my ass all the way out here for a sappy goodbye,” he snapped, slowly getting on board. “Cindy, make sure no one’s blowin’ up Hammerhead, ya hear?”

“Sure thing, Paw Paw,” Cindy sighed, shaking her head. She raised a hand up and waved cheerfully. “Bye now! Don’t forget to come back ‘n visit me some time!”

“It’s just for a few days,” Noctis reassured her, looking around the sleek boat.  _Is this **his**? _Cid started up the boat’s engine and, with a final wave to his granddaughter, pulled out of the dock cautiously. Once outside, they started to speed up. Rue braced herself against the railed edge as the waves tossed them about, rolling her eyes when Prompto heaved a dreamy sigh.

“I could never forget her.”

“Bet you dream about her,” Rayne scoffed, crossing her arms and flopping down onto one of the two leather couches that lined the ship’s interior. “What the two of you would do if you were alone…”

“Stop,” Noctis huffed. Prompto’s face grew bright red.

“I do not!”

“And I don’t believe you,” Rayne retorted, closing her eyes. “Those beds were  _small_.”

“I didn’t think they were too bad,” Rue shrugged. Rayne raised an eyebrow.

“You and Prompto aren’t exactly a good size comparison for me and Gladio. Have you seen the guy? Huge.”

“Huge,” Gladio nodded with a smug smile.

It was Ignis’s turn to sigh dismissively at his friend, watching Noctis head toward the front of the motorboat to speak with Cid. The advisor sat down in the seat at the front corner, adjusting his glasses and hunching over his notebook. Curious, Rue started toward him, only to be stopped by Prompto’s plea for a photo or two—a photo or two which somehow took twenty minutes of her time. Finally, Rue headed toward Ignis to figure out what he was doing, but she paused a few steps away from his seat.  _Why the hell do I keep pestering this guy?_ Her heart skipped a beat nervously as she wondered if he regretted inviting her along. Before she could turn tail, though, he noticed her hovering a short distance away.

“You’re not getting sick, are you?” he asked, looking up from the book.

“No?” Rue frowned, taking the last few steps to close the distance. Ignis moved over to the edge of his chair, nodding toward the extra gap between him and Rayne. “You’re sure you don’t mind me invading your space?”

“Unless you plan on sitting  _on_ me, I have no qualms about you being here.” Rue fought the urge to laugh.

“Damn, you got me there,” she huffed, sitting down and keeping as much distance as possible between them. “What’re you doing over here?”

“Checking the schedule.”

“Of course you are; what else?” she teased, looking at the others. Gladio joined Cid and Noctis a short while ago, Rayne was fast asleep, and Prompto was on his phone at the back of the ship, concentrating on mashing his fingers against his screen. “How are we holding up?”

“Well, we’ve checked off one objective.”

“Which is?”

“Board the ship.”

“Ah.” Rue turned her gaze back down to the book. “Has anyone ever told you that you have incredibly, maybe even  _freakishly,_  perfect handwriting?”

“Not with quite the same wording, no,” Ignis replied, amused by her description. “Years of practice will get you there.”

“I could use it.”

“I’m aware.”

“Thanks,” she scoffed. “What’s next? Kiss ass with the Camelia lady?”

“Bringing our things to her estate. As the hotels will likely be full due to celebrations happening this weekend, she has offered us a secure place in her own home.”

“Geeze, how big is her house?”

“About an eighth of the size of the Citadel,” he frowned. “So, fairly large. More a mansion than a house.”

“Rich people,” she muttered, shaking her head. She suddenly realized how  _painfully_ uncomfortable this conversation was. She was shoved up against her boss, trying to avoid the woman who hated her guts, and attempting to continue a conversation on a topic she knew nothing about. Clearing her throat, she pushed herself to her feet. “Well, I just came to snoop. I’m gonna go bother Prompto now.”

“He certainly needs it more than I do.”  _Save it, Scientia._

The rest of the ride passed in relative silence, save for Rue and Prompto’s competitive, but hushed, smack talk as they played a few rounds of King’s Knight. Finally, the boat began to slow, and Rue got to her feet, staring in awe at the sight of the magnificent city. Rubble still decorated the clear waters and the buildings themselves, but it was hardly as bad as Insomnia’s condition after the darkness. Bright blue waterfalls streamed down from gates and moats and poured from a wall that must have been a dam at one point. The buildings were aged with chipped white and cream paints, but it only added to their charm. The gateway into the city was one of pale stone carved into a hundred ornate patterns and designs. Prompto snapped a few pictures to her right.

“And I thought Cape Caem was gorgeous,” Rue gushed, gripping the railing on the side of the ship and leaning forward to feel the mist on her face. Gladio chuckled, shaking his head.

“Altissia really is its own kind of thing.”

“ _Still._  It has a certain charm to it that Insomnia could never compete with.” She stepped back to wipe off her glasses, turning to face Gladio, who combed a hand through his long hair to push it out of his eyes. “Has Iris ever been?”

“No. She wanted to when we went the first time, but we weren't here on vacation.”

“Hm.” Rue leaned against the side of the boat, watching the clear water pass by beneath them. “You should take her some time, preferably before another world crisis.”

“How many more of those do you think we can handle?” Rayne scoffed, finally peeling her eyes open. “I missed this place.”

“I mean, this boat  _is_ where you ‘n the big guy got it on for the first time,” Prompto teased, elbowing her. She rolled eyes as Rue frowned, not entirely wanting to picture what Prompto just put in her head.

“If by ‘got it on’ you mean ‘kissed,’ then yeah, I’ll accept that.” Rayne turned her violet eyes up to Rue, irritated by the blonde’s antics. “I swear,  _any_ PDA of any type has to suddenly turn into something highly inappropriate with them.”

“What do you mean by ‘them?’” Noctis demanded, crossing his arms and facing the others. “I made one comment.”

“A comment that contributed,” Rayne countered smugly, dragging herself to her feet and stretching her arms over her head. “That makes you a part of the grand scheme, my friend.”

“And the innocent bystander?” Ignis asked, finally looking up from his notebook. Rue raised her eyebrows.  _Dude, it’s been **hours.** What are you doing?_

“Involved because he didn’t step in.”

“If I recall correctly, Gladio stepped in before I had the chance.”

“Yeah, well, at least he was making himself useful.”  _Gods, they’re **all** children, aren’t they? _Rue fought a smile as the boat slowed, entering a narrow stream that carried them toward the city. A man dressed in a military uniform stopped them before they could reach the dock.

“Your Highness?” he asked upon seeing Noctis, jerking his head toward his crew. “No need for a pass; go on ahead. The secretary is expecting you.”

“Thanks,” Noctis nodded.

Cid grumbled something under his breath as he tucked a paper slip back into his pocket, presumably a pass to allow them entry into the city. The waters spanned into an open circle before the mechanic expertly turned them into a position at the docks. The boat’s motors slowed to a stop.

“Get yer stuff and get out; I gotta get back to Cape Caem, but if ya’ll give me a call, I’ll come right on back to pick you up,” Cid said in his hoarse voice. Ignis nodded gratefully.

“Thank you. We’ll be sure to call ahead of time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go on and get yer people together, Noctis.”

“Will do,” Noct nodded, climbing off the ship and reaching out to take the suitcase Gladio lowered to him. “Thanks, big guy.”

“Don’t mention it,” came a grumbled reply.

Once they’d unloaded, the group headed through security, which immediately granted them access, no questions asked. Ignis peered at the dampened map that was stapled to a bulletin board ahead of them, searching for the secretary’s home. Just two years after the world began to come together again, the city was alive and bustling with life, having slowly picked up the pieces of its crumbled buildings and returned them to their former selves. Altissia was certainly dependent on its appearance and being the first back on her feet was  _very_ important to her people, it seemed. Rue felt all too welcome in this land of strangers; the bustling city of Insomnia was where she’d grown up, after all. A lifeless town was absolutely  _not_ the place for her.

Finally, Ignis began to lead the way through the city, somehow having memorized the way to the estate they were to stay at. Already, the sun was crawling down from its afternoon heights, ever so slowly creeping toward the horizon. Prompto and Rayne pointed out different locations they remembered and Gladio told Noctis a story about an old man getting in an argument with Ignis over prices. Rue gawked at her surroundings; it felt as though she’d stepped inside a classical painting. People played music on street corners and paid for food at stands they’d never seen while the gondolas sped past through narrow rivers that cut through the town. Altissia was a dreamland.

The secretary’s estate was the icing on the cake, towering high above the residential buildings and the shops and guarded by heavy iron bars. The guards outside were solemn, staying eerily silent as they parted the gates to allow Noctis and his retainers entry. Another pair of men opened the large, paneled doors to the interior, which was decorated with bronze vases and dull tapestries to allow the bright colors of the tile designs to come through. Before Rue could comment on yet another beautiful scene, they were greeted by a young woman in a tight black dress.

“Welcome, Your Majesty,” she greeted, bowing lowly. When she straightened, she smiled at the group. “Allow me to show you to your rooms. You’re welcome to remain as guests in this home as long as you need.”

“Thanks,” Noctis replied, following the girl as she led the way up a broad set of stairs and down a wide hallway of doors. She paused outside the first room.

“I hope you don’t mind, but we’ve assigned the rooms by pair to save space.”

“Of course,” Ignis nodded, watching as she opened the first door.

“This room is for Your Majesty and Mr. Argentum.”

“Prompto works for me,” Prompto corrected with a smile, lugging his bag through the door. “C’mon, Noct! We’re bunk buddies!”

“Not this again,” Noctis sighed, shooting Ignis a look before heading into the bedroom. The young woman smiled, leading the way to the next door with quick, long steps. The click of her heels against the smooth tile echoed throughout the expansive hallway.

“This next room is for Rayne Callen and Gladiolus Amicitia.”  _Damn_ , _that means I’m stuck with my boss. Again._ Rue glanced over at him.  _This poor man._

“Thanks,” Gladio replied, heaving both suitcases into the room. Rayne shot the girl a grateful smile and closed the door behind them.

“What do you think they’ll do first?” Rue muttered to Ignis as they moved along. “Christen the room or eat everything they packed?”

“I’d rather not guess.”

“Last but not least, this is the room for Ignis Scientia and Rue Corden.” Ignis frowned, peering into the room. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, I had just hoped there would be more than one bed,” Ignis admitted, turning his gaze back to her. With a practiced smile, the girl tucked her brunette hair behind her ear.

“I’m sorry, sir, but all we have are rooms like these. If you’d like, I can bring bedding up for the couch, but the secretary was quite clear about making sure we only used three rooms. Otherwise, His Majesty would be the first to be provided his own space. Unfortunately, much of the manor is under construction as we rebuild the city.”

“Of course,” Ignis muttered. Rue cleared her throat, offering the poor girl a smile.

“We’ll give you a call if we need you, okay?”

“Sounds good! I left my cell number in every room for just that reason. Don’t be afraid to ask for anything.”

“Thank you,” Rue nodded, dragging her dingy old bag into the room behind Ignis and closing the door. She gave a look whistle, looking around. “This is better than any hotel I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, it is a powerful woman’s home,” Ignis reminded her, heading across the room to open the curtains to the towering windows that overlooked the city.

Between the rows of glass was a door to a balcony set with two chairs and a short concrete wall. The wall to her right was a towering bookcase guarded by frosted glass doors, and before that stood a long table set with six chairs. To her left, a wide bed with thick covers and at least a half dozen pillows.  _As much as I hate to admit it, there looks like there’s room for both of us._ Ignis carefully cracked open the doors to the balcony and took a deep breath of the fresh air. Before either of them could break the silence, a knock came to their door. Gladio peeked his head in.

“You guys down to get some food?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: Updates will be on Saturdays from here on out because school is starting this week for me and I need Sundays for school work because I'm a terrible procrastinator :D  
> That is all, in case anyone cares lol


	31. Deeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't Get Any Closer" by Bebe Rexha

Somehow, Rue managed to convince Ignis that sharing the bed wouldn’t be the worst, most unprofessional thing in the world. Still, he insisted on sleeping on top of the covers and on the opposite side, balanced on the very edge of the mattress. At least he wasn’t cramped on that tiny couch the girl mentioned. Rue slept better than she had in months, awakening to the sound of her phone alarm. She sat up sleepily, rubbing her eyes, and pushed her glasses on. Ignis sat at the table, reading a newspaper and drinking coffee from a slender black mug. He peered over the paper upon hearing her stir awake.

“Anna left some coffee for you as well.”

“Anna?” Rue frowned, sitting up. Her heart throbbed at the sound of the name passing her lips.  _What sort of sick joke is this?_ “That lady from yesterday?”

“Yes.” He folded up his newspaper as she stood and hobbled toward him, pulling her shorts down from where they’d crept up her legs overnight.

“What’s first on the agenda?” she asked, sitting in the chair beside him and crossing her bare legs. “Hunt down Madame Secretary?”

“Not quite; Noct has a meeting with her at noon we both must attend.”

“Both of us?”

“Yes; you will record notes and I will help Noct with his discussion.”

“Sounds good. Anything before that?”

“Not that I’m aware of. We’re free to roam the city until then.”

“In that case, I’ll probably spend some time bothering Prom—” Her ringtone cut her words short, and when she saw the name on her screen, she leaped to her feet, heart pounding and face going pale. “Hello?”

“Rue?” Her heart went from fearful to soaring with joy. She breathed a sigh of relief, pressing a hand to her chest. Ignis raised an eyebrow.

“Eren! I thought someone was calling me to report your  _death!”_

“Glad that you’re confident in my ability to survive,” he scoffed on the other line. His voice was low, quiet. He sounded exhausted. “It’s night over here. Thought I’d call to let you know I was alive.”

“I’m glad you did.” Rue couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she headed onto the balcony, leaving Ignis alone in the room. “How’s everything going? Any super scary stuff yet?”

“It’s super scary stuff from the get-go,” he huffed. “But, hey, it’s definitely not stuff I can’t handle. It’s going better than I thought it would.”

“Don’t jinx it.” Rue leaned forward against the stone rail, watching Altissia awaken as the sun climbed higher into the sky. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“How’re things going on your end?”

“Same old, same old. Rayne still hates me and Prompto’s been an absolute life saver for my sanity.”  

“I’m glad he’s your friend.”

“Yeah, me too.” She chewed on her cheek, unsure of what else to say. That she was worried? That she wanted him there, even if it was just to make her laugh? It wouldn’t do him any good to hear those things.

“So, listen,” Eren said, his voice hesitant. He paused; Rue wondered if he was checking to see if anyone was around. “I have to go, but I’ve been meaning to tell you something. I meant to say it in person, but I guess I’m a  _pussy_ _,_  so…” He sighed and Rue’s heart began to race.  _Don’t._ “I just… being so far away and realizing what I have to lose makes it so much harder to ignore. And I know I’m in danger out here; I might as well say something before it’s too late.”

“Eren—”

“I don’t want you to feel pressured. I get it; we don’t see each other the same way. I’ve accepted that. But I still think you should know.”

“I already—”

“I’m in love with you, Rue. I have been for a long time, and I don’t remember what it felt like to live without you by my side. Even before this whole thing got messy and I had to go screwing our friendship up, your unconditional support meant everything to me—it still does.” He sighed. “I know you don’t want to hear it, so I kept it short. Don’t worry about how you feel.”

“Eren,” Rue huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I  _really_ care about you, you know?”  _Ouch._ She couldn’t help but notice the pained frown that had settled over her face, unable to erase the outward sign of her internal battle. “Just… come home. That’s all I ask from you.”

“I’m going to,” he replied, determined. “I’ll make it.”

“I know.” Rue heaved a sigh, running a hand through her hair. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

She felt sick when she hung up. All she wanted was to know that he was okay, and he gave her that. But he also weighed her down with the reminder that she wasn’t capable of reciprocating his feelings—she was just tired of being alone. The way he spoke… it sounded as if he was letting her know just in case he didn’t make it as he swore he would. Eren wasn’t one to break his promises, but some things were simply out of his control. Tearing her eyes away from Altissia, Rue forced her unstable legs to carry her back inside, taking her mug and chugging down her coffee. Ignis glanced up at her over the rims of his glasses, having returned to his paper.

“Is Eren alright?”

“Yeah,” she murmured, setting the mug down. “He’s great.”

“I take it you’re—”

“I’m going to take a bath,” she interrupted, not wanting to open up a discussion about her emotional blockades. She hurried to the bathroom before he could say another word, running the water over her trembling fingers until it felt hot to the touch.  _Today just couldn’t start well, could it?_

~|~|~|~|~

“I’m going to start this off with a warning,” the old woman before them said sternly, turning her sharp eyes to each person seated on the other side of her desk. “I want nothing to do with your control or your politics. All I ask is that we find a middle ground where Altissia is guaranteed defense if things happen to go awry.”

“I don’t want to control your people,” Noctis replied, crossing his legs loosely. He was dressed in his usual throne room garb, something much fancier than the t-shirt and sweatpants he sported on the road. For once, his hair looked tamed. “The peace is all we’re here for. We don’t have to agree on everything; we just need to find some common ground.”

“Good.” Camelia laced her wrinkled fingers together and leaned forward, interested in hearing what he had to say. Rue scribbled down something about common ground; Ignis eyed her handwriting with disdain. “And where might we find this common ground?”

“A common interest rather than a common enemy,” the advisor replied, shooting Noctis a look that signaled him to retake the wheel.

“Right. We’re not here to pinpoint a problem and conquer a people. I want everyone from every background to have a chance at seeing people for people rather than their nations.”

“It sounds a bit idealistic, don’t you think?” the woman pressed. Rue had to admit, she was good. Asking all the right questions, not to be difficult, but to see if Noctis knew what he was getting himself into. “Why is it that you think all people would be open to that idea?”

“There’ll always be people who say no,” Noctis shrugged. “But I think the Darkness taught a lot of people who were forced to come together that no matter where you’re from, you’re still a human being. A lot of what caused resentment before was the assumption that the leadership correctly represented the citizens, and somehow, I think I’ve met more pleasant people from Niflheim than I have from my own home.”  _When the hell did this guy learn to speak even **somewhat** eloquently?  **Literally** overnight?_

They continued to go back and forth over the prospect of world peace, or at least an agreement not to massacre each other, for what felt like a century. Rue scribbled down anything that sounded remotely related to the conversation, but her mind kept returning to Eren’s words.  _I’m in love with you._ She hadn’t heard anyone  _honestly_ say that to her in years, and she didn’t understand. How could this guy, this young, successful man who could have anyone he wanted (if he wasn’t such a dork), be so deeply in love with a woman like her who was devoid of any true care for anyone but herself because she was afraid of failing  _again?_ It didn’t add up. What finally brought her back was the sharp, biting tone of Camelia’s cold voice.

“You want me to begin allowing Imperials to stay? I feel that might cross the line. My people see the Imperials as nothing more than the force that destroyed their homes and their lives. How do you expect me to convince them otherwise?”

“How can they think otherwise when you won’t let them in?” Noctis countered. “Treating them like a threat only reinforces what the people believe.”

“My people want nothing to do with Niflheim or their countrymen whether they can prove their worth or not. It’s a sore reminder of the past.”

“A past they can learn from,” the king insisted, clearly getting a little worked up. Ignis looked on edge, trying to shoot him a look as a warning to calm down. “Or have they forgotten that I also destroyed their homes?”

“To be frank, they want nothing to do with you, either,” Camelia snapped, scowling. “I brought you here under the assumption that we could understand that this won’t create an immediate result. Changing minds takes time when it concerns the dead.”

“Minds won’t change if you don’t take the first step as their leader,” Noctis fired back, standing. He took a deep breath to calm himself, realizing his mistake. “I’ll give you more time to consider before I return tomorrow.” With that, he headed toward the door.

“Highness,” Ignis called, turning quickly to the secretary. “I sincerely apologize.”

“Don’t,” she replied sternly, straightening in her cushioned chair. Slowly, Rue stood, clutching Ignis’s notebook to her chest. “He doesn’t need you to make excuses for him, he needs to grow up and face the facts.”

“Yes madame,” Ignis answered with a nod, turning and following Noct with brisk steps. Avoiding all eyes, Rue ducked her head and hurried after him. It felt nice not to wear heels for a few days; now she hobbled along with loud clacking sounds to signal her pursuit. Ignis was hardly able to catch Noct’s attention until he blocked the door to the king’s room, earning a glare from the young man.

“I know I screwed it up, okay?!” Noct shouted, trying to push past Ignis. “Just leave me alone!”

“You have to understand the repercussions of storming out like that!” Ignis argued back, clearly pissed. Rue stood back uneasily, unsure how to handle Ignis’s sudden mood change. “Not only did you make a sore impression, but your inability to listen to what she was saying was—”

“I don’t need this right now!” Noctis snapped. Rayne paused halfway out her door; Gladio’s head poked out above hers. “Buzz off!”

“When else should I stop by to inform you of your insolence?” Ignis demanded. “Before bed? I hardly see why—”

“ _Just go back to ignoring me_!” Noct practically screamed into Ignis’s face. The entire hall was stunned into silence; even the wind outside seemed to die down. Ignis’s face switched between a hundred different expression before he took a breath.

“Noct—”

“Fuck off,” he huffed, shoving Ignis aside and slamming the door shut behind him. 

The advisor’s brow furrowed and his jaw clenched. Before any of those witnessing the scene could attempt to comfort him, he turned on his heels and took long, quick strides to his own room, closing the door firmly behind him. Rayne turned her eyes to Rue, brows raised to her hairline.

“What the hell happened in there?”

“He, uh, stormed out of the meeting when Camelia told him his plans wouldn’t work the way he wanted them to,” Rue explained, tucking her hair behind her ear. Gladio sighed, shaking his head.

“He’s gonna pay for treating Iggy like that.”

“I think he just needs some time to think,” Rue offered, glancing down at her door.  _How long should I let him be?_ “Camelia was playing devil’s advocate and I think it got to his head.”

“Not an excuse,” Gladio grumbled, trying to nudge Rayne aside. She shook her head, gently grabbing his arm.

“No, I think she’s right. Let him sulk for a bit and then  _nicely_ remind him that he needs to apologize.”

“Rayne, he can’t keep acting like this. He’s ain't a kid anymore.”

“And he knows that.” Rayne turned back to Rue and offered a small, genuine smile. “As for Iggy, I’d head down there and get him to vent it all out before he bottles up all his anger and saves it for a worse time.”

“... Okay,” Rue sighed, uncertainly stepping toward her room. Rayne nodded, slowly closing her door.

Heart hammering in her chest, Rue hurried toward her own door, carefully turning the knob so as not to make a sound. Ignis wasn’t in the room, but she could see him hunched over the railing outside. She kicked off her heels and did the only thing she could think of to comfort him: grabbing an Ebony from the box they’d packed. With that, she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and stepped outside. The wind blew softly, pushing his hair about as he stared down at the harbor, eyes narrowed and jaw tight. He didn’t react to the sound of the glass door, so Rue awkwardly cleared her throat and cocked her head to the side. He turned his head enough to let her know he was listening.

“I, uh, brought you something.”

Frowning, Ignis turned to see her offering both the can and the notebook. With a sigh, he took them only to set them down in the seat behind him. Without a word, he faced the city again. Feeling as though this wasn’t her place, Rue persisted, crossing her arms over the rough surface of the stone and joining his people-watching.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ignis said nothing and she nodded, tucking her hair behind her. A long silence passed between them before she spoke again. “Does he always speak to you like that?”

“No.” Ignis’s eyes remained fixed on something in the distance. “Only when he’s frustrated and insistent that I’m smothering him.”

“You were only trying to help.”

“I was harsh.”

“So was he.” Rue’s brow furrowed, and she looked up at him. “You only want him to succeed.”

“And to do so, he must listen.” Ignis shook his head, his voice matching the tension in his body. “His actions today may cost us this entire treaty, and he’s either unaware or he’s too angry to accept the consequences.”

“I think the reason that he went off is because he realized what he was doing when he got up to leave,” she replied. “He knew he was taking a risk. It stressed you both out and you had different reactions. It happens.” She traced her fingers across the stone, feeling the carved ridges thoughtfully. “He won’t hold it against you.”

“… I know.”

“Doesn’t keep it from hurting, huh?”

Ignis shook his head and turned to pick up the black can he left on the seat behind him. Slowly, he cracked it open, taking a long sip. Suddenly, he puffed out a short, sardonic laugh and shot Rue a look.

“You seem to have doubled my tolerance for caffeine since you were hired.”

“Really? Sorry about that,” she cringed. “I feed things to make them feel better.” Ignis raised an eyebrow. “I-I mean, you just always look so stressed, so I try to distract you with something you like.” Laughing nervously, she turned back to the city. “You should see my cat. She’s getting enormous.”

“You don’t strike me as the type to own a cat,” he murmured, taking another drink. She raised an eyebrow.

“Really? I’m a homebody who lives off of sappy television shows, iced coffee, and cheap wine. I don’t think I’ve gone out to do anything other than work since Er—well, since the second week of working for you.” She huffed, shaking her head. “It feels like forever ago.”

“Does it?” Ignis asked, curious. “I suppose it does.”

“Time flies by when you’re having fun,” she muttered dryly. Ignis shook his head but said no more. She eyed the can in his gloved hand, searching for a new topic of conversation. “Y’know, for all those damn coffees I’ve poured down your throat, I don’t think I’ve ever tried one. Is Ebony really all that good?”

“Yes, it is,” Ignis sighed, holding the can out to her. Her eyebrows raised and her heart skipped a beat.

“Oh, no, I wasn’t asking to try, I just was making an observation.”

“I don’t mind,” he reassured her, amused by her startled reaction. Uncertain at what sort of bizarre creature Ignis Scientia was with his mood swings and his sudden bouts of friendliness, Rue gingerly took the drink from his hand and carefully took a sip.  _You just drank some of your boss’s saliva,_ the immature piece of her brain taunted; she suppressed a grimace. She cocked her head to the side, analyzing the flavor as she handed the Ebony back.

“Not bad… but I don’t think I’d drink it nearly as much as you do.”

“No?”

“Nah. Too bitter,” she decided. Ignis’s lips quirked into a slight smile and he took yet another drink, seemingly unable to control himself around the source of his addiction. “Man, you down that stuff so quickly.”

“Yes, well, you haven’t done much in the way of weening me off my dependency.”

“I’ll make it my next objective, then. I’m making a mental note right as we speak.”

Something shifted in Ignis’s demeanor and he went from light-hearted to serious, frowning.  _Fucking_ _bipolar, I swear._ Silently, he set his coffee aside and leaned against the wall to his left to face Rue, arms crossed. He appeared to be chasing a thought around his mind, not quite certain of how to express it. After a moment of uneasy quiet that left Rue feeling queasy, he spoke.

“Actually, I believe you have another objective we must address.”

“What?” she asked, feeling the blood drain from her face.

“Your reason for pursuing a career at the Citadel,” he clarified. His sharp eyes refused to turn away from her startled stare, creating an uneven rhythm in her chest. “I doubt you held as much concern for me as you expressed to Gladio.”

“Did he really…?” Rue sighed, shaking her head and allowing her nerves a break as she turned to look out at Altissia’s afternoon liveliness.

“You want to be reconsidered for the Glaive, do you not?” Rue’s heart sank to her stomach; she thought she might throw up if she didn’t hurl herself over the railing and end it all—it was tempting. “I don’t mean to be rude, but becoming an assistant is hardly the way to get there.”

“Ignis, look, I—” she started, feeling as if she’d been stringing him along with the prospect of a long-term employee.

“I figured that much out a long time ago,” he interrupted, arching an eyebrow. “And I’ve decided it was foolish of you to choose that route, but what’s done is done.”  _Foolish? Tell me about it._  “What I can’t seem to point my finger on is the reason for your persistent favor for the Kingsglaive.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. Her throat was dry, and it made her voice sound just as empty as she felt.  _This is it._

“Why are you so insistent on fighting?” he persisted. His expression was gentler the next time she mustered enough strength to look at him. “It can’t have to do with your husband, could it?”

“No.” Rue’s answer was confident, but she suddenly realized she wasn’t ready for the truth. “Well, maybe.” She sighed, letting her shoulders slump. “I don’t know. I just… got sick of feeling like I couldn’t protect people. Even after I killed Casper, I felt powerless and weak. I wasn’t even strong enough to do the deed when he was  _sober.”_ Her mind sorted through the painful memories of her time in the Darkness, the cage that trapped her in an endless pacing circle of grief and anger. “I couldn’t protect the people I cared about from the daemons, either. I guess all I wanted was to prove that I was strong enough to do that for anyone else who might come along and  _not_ see me as a disgusting piece of shit.”  _Hitting a little too close to home there, sweetheart._

“Well, I hardly think anyone here thinks that of you,” Ignis replied, touching the center of his glasses to push them up the bridge of his nose. “Even if Rayne does play the part of the bully well. You can hold your own in battle.”

“No, I can’t. That’s the thing. I’m tired of relying on other people to pick up the slack.”

“Have you asked Gladio for help? I’m certain he’d rather train you than sit in an office and wait for something to do.”

“Rayne?” Rue reminded him, eyebrow raised. He shook his head.

“A problem no longer.”

“Really? She seems pretty adamant about making me look bad.”

“How?”

“ _How_?”

“Yes. What has she done to make you look bad,” he repeated, genuinely curious.

“How about all of her comments about my previous… career path?” Rue huffed, rolling her eyes. Ignis frowned, glancing down at the streets. “Which I’m sure you’ve gathered by now was not entirely legal or enjoyable.”

“Prostitution.”

“ _Bingo_.” Rue couldn’t believe the number of things she’d let people see over the past few weeks, but she had to admit, it didn’t feel all that bad when all was said and done. “The second people came back to Insomnia, they got greedy again and jacked up the prices for rent. I needed money to live somewhere other than the streets and to pay for the Glaive training, so I sold the only thing I had left: myself.” She shrugged, indifferent. “It wasn’t so bad once I got the hang of detaching myself from the situation. It was the same weird, greasy middle-aged men every day and every night for eighteen months and then I was  _out._ Haven’t looked back.”

“It hasn’t been as long as I thought, then.”

“Yeah, well, it feels like forever ago. I don’t like thinking about it.”

“I apologize for bringing it up.”

“ _I_ brought it up. Save the apology for when you need it,” she teased. “Now, what else are we supposed to be doing today? I might lose my mind if I have to do anymore internal reflection.”

“I’m not sure. I was hoping to organize some of the messier files I brought with me in our free time.”

“You brought  _work?_ ” Rue groaned.

“This is no vacation, Rue.”

“Feels like it,” she shrugged, straightening. “Alright, well, did you bring a laptop?”

“I don’t own one, so no.”

“You brought actual paper files on our trip to Altissia,” she said in disbelief. Ignis appeared unfazed by her shock.

“Yes.”

“Why do they need to be organized?”

“People have been moving between the guard and the Glaive for some time now, and I wanted to get their locations in order.”

“How do we know who’s where?”

“Rayne.”

“Are you…?” She sighed, rubbing her face tiredly. “Fine, fine. Where’s the stuff? I’ll sort it for you.”

 


	32. Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Lifeline" by We Three

Rue’s hips began to ache from how long she sat alone on the floor of she and Ignis’s room, sorting page after page into several piles around her. It was the same process over and over again: check the name, find the name the lengthy text Ignis sent her, find their job, put them in the pile. More people worked for the Crown than she thought, though many of the names fell under the category of “deceased” or “fired.” She even found her own information and, unsure of what to do with the paper, set it into its own neat pile. The stack of papers Ignis brought was almost past her knee when she unloaded it from several different cases; now, it was divided into three tall piles and her own single page that sat to her left.

After Ignis put her to work, he vanished and had yet to return. The sun was going down by the time she set the last paper into place, throwing her fists up in an exhausted show of victory. At some point, she’d changed into a more comfortable outfit, reusing the clothes she wore on the car ride to Cape Caem. Her legs cried out in pain as she stood, stretching, and her arms protested to the weight of the papers as she shoved them into their respective cases, wincing when she pinched herself a couple of times.

“I see you’re finally finished.”

Rue was too tired to be startled by Ignis’s voice, turning to face him with her hands pressed to her hips.

“Where were you?”

“Speaking with Noctis.”

“For that long?” Rue frowned, watching him as he nodded and crossed his arms. “Is everything okay with him?”

“Much better than it was before,” he replied, sounding quite pleased with himself. He headed toward his back, kneeling down to dig for something. Rue settled in a chair by the table.

“What’s everyone else up to?”

“Noct and Prompto have moved on to more  _important_ things, namely video games. I believe Rayne and Gladio have left to spend some time around the city together.” Rue couldn’t help but notice that he no longer had an edge to his voice when he spoke about the pair. Was it possible that he was finally loosening his grip on his adoration for the woman? She doubted it. He moved on to digging through another pocket.

“What’re you looking for?”

“My wallet. I could have sworn I put it—”

“On the table?” Rue picked the small leather wallet up off the table and lifted it into his view, raising an eyebrow. Sighing, he pushed his glasses up and stood, walking over to take it.

“Thank you. I must have put it there without thinking.”

“Thinking of hittin’ the town?” she teased, leaning back in her seat. Ignis seemed a bit lost in thought as he nodded, checking his phone. “Really? Looking for some ladies or what?” He didn’t seem to hear her. “Because I’m sorry, bud, but I’m gonna have to draw the line at bringing ‘em back here. I refuse to be locked on the balcony all night.”

“Pardon?” Ignis frowned, looking up at her. She laughed, shaking her head.

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Something about you on the balcony,” he answered, brow arched. “I apologize, I’m a bit preoccupied.”

“With…?”

“Nothing of your concern. A simple bump back at the Citadel with Cor. That’s all.”

“Right.” He headed back toward the door and Rue sighed, running a hand through her hair.  _More alone time in this weird, gothic prison cell?_ Ignis froze at the door as though he’d heard her thoughts, turning to face her.

“There are some rarer types of ingredients sold here that I would like to take a look at. Would you, perhaps, want to accompany me?”

“You need help grocery shopping?”

“You already informed me that you’re a homebody, but somehow I doubt that includes the enjoyment of solitude in an unknown environment,” he countered. Rolling her eyes, Rue stood, grabbing her boots and shoving them onto her feet.  _You **literally** just left me alone for hours. _She also slung her empty backpack over her shoulders, having a niggling feeling that they might need it.

“Yeah, I’ll go. I’m getting stir crazy.”

“I figured.”

Shooting him an unamused look, Rue followed him out into the hall and down the stairs where a guard greeted them with a stuff nod and opened the door for them to exit the estate. The city of Altissia was wide awake, dazzling with the bright colors of lights and the cheery sounds of music that came from live bands scattered about the streets. Families wandered the narrow walkways, excitedly pointing out different points of architecture and attractions. Ignis led the way confidently and Rue followed without a doubt in her mind that he knew where he was headed.

And sure enough, they reached a bustling marketplace full of stands selling all sorts of foods and fresh ingredients. Rue quickened her pace to stick by Ignis, careful not to be lost in the crowd. Finally, he paused at a stand, eyeing something she’d never seen before with his arms crossed. Thinking, his eyes narrowed and he pinched his chin.

“Which ginger for the canape?” he asked under his breath.

“What?” Rue frowned, looking between the two displays of ginger roots. “I didn’t even know there was more than one type of ginger.”

“Of course there is,” he replied, glancing down at her. “The root on the left, commonly known as Sahagin, has a bit more of a bite than its counterpart on the right, which is much milder.”

“What you study botany now?” she huffed, crossing her arms. All the hustle and bustle behind her made it hard to hear his rambling. He didn’t seem to hear her.

“But which would work better for the canape?” he wondered aloud, brow furrowed. Rue raised her eyebrows at him and he waited for an answer.

“Dude, I have no idea what a canape is.”

“No?” Ignis turned back to the stand, eyes narrowed. “I’ll have two of each variation,” he said to the young man in the stand who’d waited patiently for the advisor to make up his mind. Once the kid bagged the roots and handed them over, Ignis paid him and carried on his way, eyeing the different stands.

“I didn’t know there was this much stuff for making food,” Rue scoffed as they turned a corner into more marketplace. Ignis shot her a curious look and she shrugged, raising her hands defensively. “Then again, the only thing I know how to cook is boxed mac ‘n cheese. I’m not exactly an expert like you.”

“That’s all you know?” he repeated in mild disbelief, shaking his head. “I can’t say I’m very surprised.”

“Wow, thanks.” She pulled her backpack off, unzipping it. “Here, put those in this. That’s why I brought it.” Ignis obeyed, already making a beeline for another stand. Rue sighed, hurrying to catch up.  _It’s like babysitting a child at an amusement park._

The stall-hopping continued for  _at least_ another hour, following the same process. Ignis would stare at something that caught his eye, occasionally check his notebook for a recipe he could alter or create, ask Rue’s opinion, sigh at her indifference, and purchase the ingredients if he felt he had any use for them. Her backpack was getting  _heavy,_ pulling her shoulders back as they finally reached the last stall of the path. Ignis’s eyes passed over its goods quickly, uninterested. He took a moment to watch the reflection of the lights glitter across the surface of the water before turning to Rue.

“I apologize if you feel that was a waste of your time. I tend to get a bit caught up.”

“That’s fine,” Rue shrugged, hiding a cringe as her shoulders hardly budged. “It’s better than sitting alone in that stuffy room. Besides, I wanted to see the city a bit more.”

“Well, shall we explore then?” he asked, starting to walk toward a path that jutted to the left. Surprised that he hadn’t decided it was due time to turn in for the evening, she followed, curious.

“Any particular direction you recommend we go?” she asked, shoving her hands into her sweatshirt pocket. Ignis didn’t answer, glancing around the busy streets.

And so, they wandered without direction, occasionally pausing for a quick show of talent that caught Rue’s eye or to take a photo for people who asked nicely. As they ascended a set of stairs to another level of the city, a delicious smell caught Rue’s attention and her stomach growled  _loudly._ A foreign sound met her ears and she looked up to see Ignis laughing quietly to himself.

“Shut up, I haven’t eaten all day,” she huffed, wishing it was appropriate shove his shoulder or elbow his side to emphasize her playful response.

“We could stop for something, you know,” he reminded her, glancing at the food carts they were strolling past. She was tempted, but the defensive voices at the back of her mind forced her to shake her head.

“No, I’ll just grab something from my suitcase when we get back.”

“You’re certain? A stale granola bar could hardly compare to street food,” he pointed out. Rue gnawed on her cheek, slowing to a stop. Finally, she nodded. It was okay to splurge just this once.

“You know what? You’re right. Any suggestions?”

“I’ve never been here, but Prompto swears it’s better than the place we used to visit in Lestallum,” Ignis answered, nodding to a kabab stand to their right.

“Let’s go, then. Dinner’s on me.”

“Rue—”

“It’s a thank you for dragging my sorry ass all the way out here,” she grinned, walking away before he could make any protests.

They found an emptier location in an angled street that still had a nice view of the nighttime festivities. Rue nibbled away at her kabab, watching people stroll past. They all either bubbled with excitement or dragged their feet with exhaustion; there was no in-between. Smiling softly to herself, she turned her eyes upward to the next level of the city, where railings allowed for people to lean over the edge and sightsee. Caught off guard, Rue elbowed Ignis, drawing his attention away from his phone.

“Look!” she hissed, pointing with the end of kabab. “It’s Rayne and Gladio!”

“So it is,” he murmured. The two leaned against one of the rails, enjoying a conversation that seemed to be humorous, at least judging by the number of laughs Rayne let loose.

“I wonder what they’re talking about,” she mused, picking a pepper off her meal and tossing it aside, though she was momentarily tempted to offer it to Ignis. In the end, she doubted he would appreciate the gesture. “I feel kinda creepy watching them.”

“Then don’t watch,” Ignis countered, shooting her a wry look. She rolled her eyes, parting her lips to speak when she was cut off by a loud succession of popping sounds. Startled, she looked up at the sky to see a shower of colorful sparks illuminating Altissia from above like a mob of shooting stars. Rue pressed a hand to her heart, coughing as she choked on a piece of meat.

“That scared the shit out of me,” she wheezed, shaking her head and wiping away a tear that had gathered in her eye from her intensive hacking. Ignis seemed to enjoy her suffering far more than he should have. “Geeze! Don’t they warn people before they set off explosions?”

“You mean by posting flyers on every street corner with a time?” he retorted, raising an eyebrow. 

“There were…?” Rue looked straight ahead to the window across the path.

A neon yellow piece of paper with “Fireworks! Nine o’clock every night!” written boldly across the front was taped to the glass.

“Well fuck me,” she muttered, setting aside the remains of her dinner and looking up when another round of fireworks set off.

She jumped when a short, startled scream split through the air, feeling as though her heart was going to burst from her chest when she realized Gladio had disappeared and Rayne stood in shock, one hand clapped over her mouth and the other gripping the iron rail. For one panicked moment, Rue thought Gladio had somehow been injured, but suddenly, she realized what was  _really_ going on.

“Whoa, what?!” she gasped, craning her neck to get a better view of the smug giant who waited patiently on his knee before the woman. “I didn’t know they were  _that_ serious.”

“He finally got up the nerve to do it, then,” Ignis commented, his lips twitching into a smile. “Good.”

“What do you mean? How long has he been planning this?” Rue demanded, watching in shock as Gladio stood and Rayne nearly knocked him to the ground with her body slam of an embrace.

“Months,” Ignis admitted, turned away from the couple to meet her eyes. “He brought up the prospect long before now. There were several occasions on which he meant to ask, but I suppose it never felt right.”

“It’s perfect,” Rue scoffed. “Like, story-book, super romantic, disgustingly perfect.” Ignis chuckled.

“Gladio would have it no other way.” With that, he shook his head and looked down to see that she had set the other half of her food aside. “Are you finished? Perhaps we should quit our gawking and give them their privacy.”

“It’s not like they know we’re here,” Rue pointed out, standing. “Yeah, I’m ready to head back.” As she tossed out her kabab, she added, “And Prompto was right; that shit's  _good._ ”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

The walk back to the secretary’s estate was quiet, save for the roaring crowds that cheered for the fireworks show along the sidewalk, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Rue felt happier than she had in a long time, making the occasional joke and jab at Gladio and Rayne or at a stranger performer she saw, anything to make Ignis flash a smile. She assured herself that she would’ve done the same had anyone else been with her; she just wanted everyone else to share her elated mood.  _Ah, young love,_ she joked to herself.  _If only I hadn’t fucked it up._

Once inside the massive building, they returned to their room. Rue handed over her backpack so Ignis could take back his purchases and put them away. He hinted at teaching her to cook something more substantial than macaroni and cheese and she happily agreed, flopping onto the bed as he gingerly tucked his ingredients away. She checked her phone to see if anyone had contacted her. Nothing but a selfie of Rayne in their group chat, holding up her hand to show off a ring and captioned, “Look who grew a pair!”. Prompto replied hardly seconds after Rue opened the original text.

_No way! Congrats, big guy! Looks like you beat the rest of us after all!_

To which Noctis replied:

_Yeah, he owes me fifty gil now._

Rue smiled, shaking her head. She typed out her own response, debating a minute on whether or not to send it. Shrugging, she thought,  _fuck_ _it,_ and hit the little arrow on the edge of her screen.

_Congrats! Can’t wait to join the rest of you guys on the “Not Invited” list._

The winking emoji at the end really sold it. Rue heard Ignis laugh gently across the room, grinning when he turned to look at her. Before he could speak, however, a loud pop echoed through the hallway outside their door. Rue couldn’t tell if it was just the sound of more fireworks, but the look on Ignis’s face told her otherwise, as did the second and third pops. Her heart stopped.  _Shit_ _._ She leaped to her feet, hot on Ignis’s tail as he threw open the door and stepped outside. She took the daggers he summoned to his hands as a bad sign, grabbing hold of her gun.

She was almost killed the second she stepped outside the door, forced to jump back inside as a spray of bullets set off, aimed right at her head. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she tried her hardest to recall her training.  _Stay calm._ With that, the instant the bullets stopped and she heard the sound of fighting, she rushed into the hall, aiming quickly. She didn’t know what to expect, but a band of regularly clothed men and women armed with automatic guns and basic blades was not it. Still, she had little time to hesitate when Noctis and Prompto stepped out and were nearly beheaded. She swore to protect the king, and if it meant killing civilians that opened fire in his temporary home then so be it.

Rue squeezed off a few shots, hitting three or four members of the group before the angered citizens scattered. She was alarmed to see a woman rushing toward her, panicking when her gun clicked.  _Empty already?!_ Left with little choice, she summoned her sword, blocking the slash the woman sent her way just in time to avoid being sliced clean in two. To her right, the sound of Prompto’s gun echoed through the hall. A flash of blue light ahead reminded her that Noctis was able to warp out of harm’s way.  _Good_. It put her a little less on edge. Then again, how relieved could she be while she stared into a pair of cold, empty eyes that belonged to a stranger who clearly wanted her dead?

Quickly, she shoved the woman away, ducking out of the way as she was attacked yet again, but this time, she counterattacked by slashing at the woman’s knees, knocking her to the floor, and stabbing the end of her blade through her chest.  _Sorry._ With that, she ran ahead to take down a man that was headed straight for Prompto while he was preoccupied with someone else, cracking the hilt of her sword against his skull and slashing across the side of his face. His head whipped around sharply from the force of the blow, and before he could recover, Prompto shot him dead. She sent him a grateful smile before she was forced to block another attack.

“Whoa there!” Prompto cried, stumbling back into the open door of his room when one of the men shoved him in. Rue cut down the person that attacked her before she noticed that he was gone, startled half to death when she saw he’d vanished from her sight. “ _Hey!”_

The loud sound of a gun split through the air, a rapid series of pops that drowned out everything else. Rue hardly met Noctis’s alarmed stare before she ran into the room, swinging her sword with all her might and nearly lopping the man’s head off in one blow. His body crumpled to the floor and his gun skidded away, but Rue didn’t notice, rushing to Prompto’s side. All the bloodstains and bullet holes that ruined his shirt made her sick. Horrified, she pressed her head to his chest, finding the remains of a shuddering, slowing heartbeat. She panicked, breathless, as she fumbled through his pockets in search of anything that might help, knowing full well she should’ve been smart enough to bring her own curatives.

The moment her fingers felt the soft, warm down in his back pocket, she knew this was it. Now or never. Pulling the vibrant feather free, Rue pressed it into his hand, squeezing her eyes shut.  _C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!_ It burst into the smallest possible flame, puffing out after a moment. She held her breath as she watched his face for any sign of revival.  _C’mon!_ Suddenly, Prompto gasped for air, jerking upright and coughing loudly. Rue breathed a sigh of relief, sitting back on her heels as he gulped down air, wide-eyed.

“Shit, what happened?!” he demanded, staring down at his bloodied shirt. “Oh man, he got me good!”

“Are you alright?” Rue asked, concerned. She jumped when she heard footsteps behind her, turning to see it was only Noctis and Ignis. Prompto nodded, forcing himself to sit up.

“Yeah, I am.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright,” she reassured him, shaking her head. “I’m just glad you’re alive.” She looked up at Ignis. “Was that everyone?”

“That we’ve seen, yes. Something tells me there are more than that, though.”

“What’s that?” Noctis frowned, hands on his hips. Ignis touched his glasses, his head twitching to the right.

“Well, if one wanted to find success in a rebellion such as this, I hardly believe they’d put all their eggs in one basket.”

“Not everyone thinks like you,” Noctis muttered under his breath, but he meant well. Rue’s stomach churned when she saw a movement in the doorway. Quickly, she stood, sword in hand.

“Rue?” Ignis frowned, watching her creep toward the door. Not a fiber in his being told him this was going to end well. Uneasily, he shot Noct a look and carefully followed far behind her.

“Yeah?” she replied absently, taking a deep breath. Before he could answer, she stepped outside and caught sight of something on the ground to her left. The sound of her sword piercing flesh broke the silence and she pulled it free quickly, grinning over at him. “Just a straggler. No need to worry.”

 _This isn’t right._ Ignis’s mind was itching, trying to scream out a warning, but he was far too preoccupied with the threat to hear. He took a step forward, his daggers materializing into his hands as he did so, but he was far too late. Noctis let out a strangled shout just as the broadsword sliced through Rue’s midsection. Her knees gave way, weak, and she hung there, her eyes dead set on Ignis’s as her smile faded and her hand gripped the bloody tip of the sword that jutted through her stomach. A choked effort at words tumbled from her lips and Ignis stood watching in horror as the blade was pulled free only to dip back in a second time, slicing farther through. Everything felt divided into its own piece, its own section of time. Her gritted teeth and tears gathered in the corners of her wide eyes. The sound of blood splattering to the floor and its heavy metallic scent. Prompto’s enraged cry and the crack of his gun. The bullet that hit the sword’s flat edge and tumbled to the tile floor.

Rue’s body was limp as a foot pressed to her back and pushed her off the sword, landing in a puddle of her own warm blood. Prompto fired again, and this time, he didn’t miss. The man wielding the weapon tumbled to the ground. Before anyone could speak, Ignis’s legs threw him toward the doorway, onto the floor, and into the crimson pool. His hands turned her over and heaved her head upright into his lap, his brow furrowed, his fingers searching for a pulse. Suddenly, everything that had slowed through his terror sped back up.

“Prompto, do you have any more phoenix down?” he demanded, looking up at the gunman that crouched before him. Pale, Prompto shook his head, looking up at Noctis, who shook his, too. “Potions, anything?”

“All in Gladio’s room, and it’s—”

“What the hell…?”

They all looked up at the familiar voice. Rayne and Gladio stood at the beginning of the hallway, staring in shock at the bodies that littered the floor. Her eyes found the group first and Ignis could tell her heart skipped a beat. Quickly, she ran over them, checking Prompto first.

“I’m fine,” he insisted. “It’s Rue.”

“Shit,” she breathed, staring at the assistant. Noctis left and returned moments later with a towel as Gladio hurried to his room with Prompto to find  _anything_ to help. Ignis continued to prop Rue’s head up, almost relieved when she coughed out a river of blood and peeled her pale eyes open. “You hanging on? We’re gonna get help in just a sec,” Rayne reassured her, taking the towel and pressing it to Rue’s stomach. The girl gritted her teeth, involuntarily curling in toward her body as the pain overtook her entire being. Ignis watched with a frown, looking up at Rayne with nothing but pleas in his eyes.

“You have to heal her.”

“Ignis, we have potions,” Rayne insisted, scowling.

“Potions will hardly scratch the surface of this,” he argued. “With your mother’s power, you can—”

“Why the hell would I waste it on her?” she demanded. He had to bite back his initial response, angered by her insensitivity.

“You’d rather have her die than you be incapacitated for the evening?” he countered. Rayne glanced down at Rue, grabbing her hands and forcing her to put pressure on the towel she held.

“Because if they attack again, I don’t want to be out of it. She won’t die if we get her enough—”

“ _Potions won’t work._ ” Ignis’s teeth were gritted together, his eyes aflame with his frustration.

“Nice to see people fighting over me,” Rue grumbled, coughing some more. Rayne rolled her eyes.

“Zip it! See, she’s, just fine.”

“Have you looked at the floor?” Prompto protested. “What part of ‘fine’ looks like that?!”

“Rayne, I don’t think this’ll help,” Gladio admitted, nodding toward Prompto’s armful of glittering vials. Before anyone else could speak, Rue’s dazed eyes shot open and she tried to sit up, crying out when her wounds bit back.

“Calm down,” Rayne snapped, clearly conflicted.

“My daughter!” she rasped, panicked out of her mind as she tried to haul herself up again. Ignis’s heart stopped for a moment. “My daughter, please, I have to find her!”

“ _What_?” Rayne hissed, looking back at Ignis. “Since when does she have a fucking  _kid?!”_

“I don’t…” Ignis shook his head, pushing Rue back down as the towel began to rapidly soak up more blood.

“Hey, how old is she?” Rayne asked, reaching out a hand to brush Rue’s hair out of her face. Ignis’s assistant had never looked so terrified as she did now with her eyes flitting about as though she didn’t recognize a single person and her lips repeating the same words over and over under her breath.

“Ana!” she wailed.

“Why’s she want that lady from earlier?” Prompto frowned uncertainly. “She’s not Rue’s kid, is she?”

“Prompto, shut the fuck up,” Rayne scoffed. Ignis had known her long enough to catch the softer edge of her voice. She stood, jerking her head toward her open bedroom door. “Gladio, get her on the couch. Noct, lay down some towels before he gets there so we don’t completely ruin this woman’s house.”

Quickly, everyone sprang to action. Rue cried out through clenched teeth as Gladio heaved her into the air away from Ignis, clutching his shirt with a bloody hand. Slowly, Ignis stood and followed, heart pounding in his chest. Prompto shot him a shaken look before entering the room and sitting on the bed to watch out of Rayne’s way. Gladio set Rue down carefully, apologizing when she hissed a curse and writhed in pain. Without further hesitation, Rayne knelt at her side and clutched the girl’s hand in both of hers, pressing it to her chest. It was a ritual Ignis had seen many times before, the summoning of the first Oracle’s power. Rayne was blessed with the power of healing via her mother’s blood; she seemed to think it was a curse.

“C’mon,” Rayne whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

Nervously, she rocked back and forth on her heels, lips pressed together. Slowly, a golden light began to glow on her fingertips, creeping down Rue’s arm and spreading across her body. Even before the magic worked its way across her wounds, Rue was out cold, having lost consciousness just after Gladio set her down. Everyone held their breath as the last traces of light flickered out and Rayne released Rue’s hand. Slowly, Rayne got to her feet, though she looked dazed. Gladio stood, watching her; he was clearly on edge.

“Rayne? You alright?” Prompto asked quietly. Rayne nodded, though the action was slow, and her eyes couldn’t seem to focus on any specific location.

“Yeah, I’m…” Without further warning, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell backward, where Gladio swiftly caught her before she could crack her skull open on the floor.

“Had a feeling that would happen,” he grumbled, hoisting her up and setting her down on top of the bed. “Usually does when she treats the big ones.”

“Will she be alright?” Noctis asked, eyeing the unconscious woman. Gladio nodded, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Just needs some time to get her strength back.” He nodded to Rue, who was clearly breathing much better than she was before. Ignis had already checked for a pulse and found it going strong, just as they’d hoped.

“Much better,” he replied, turning to look at Gladio. He nodded, looking over the group.

“Damn, you guys look like shit.”

And it was true. Prompto was soaked in his own blood, Noctis was ruffled and bruised from the fight, and Ignis had not only  _kneeled_ in Rue’s blood, but had it smeared across his face and his hair when she’d been blinding flailing for something to help her up. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to care about his appearance. Something had finally clicked, albeit nearly at the cost of Rue’s life. He found himself watching her stir in her sleep, brows creased together as he tried to piece together what he’d known before. Her ex-husband, his murder, her reason to hope for Noct’s return… It all made sense.  _A daughter…_ He frowned, absently watching Prompto attempt to tug the covers over Rayne. There was just one more thing missing, then: the reason for change.

 


	33. Total Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You Are The Reason" by Calum Scott

Rue’s eyes opened so quickly that if someone had seen, they might assume she’d just escaped from a terrifying dream. But she saw nothing the entire time she’d been asleep, or unconscious, or whatever anyone wanted to call it. She couldn’t remember how she’d gotten to her bed. In fact, the last thing she remembered clearly was stepping out of Prompto’s room in search of a perceived threat. And then she killed the man she saw on the floor. Or did she? She couldn’t quite grasp what she wanted to and it frustrated her to no end.

So, instead of lying in bed angry because she couldn’t recall the night before (which, to be fair, wasn’t all that uncommon for  _her_ ), she sat up and checked her phone. No messages, no missed calls, and it was nearly noon. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair, startled when she realized she wasn’t in her sweatshirt, but instead in one of her oversized t-shirts and a pair of shorts that was far too small for the comfort of the person she was sharing a bed with. She frowned, looking behind her. The bed was made and there was no sign that Ignis had even laid down. Utterly confused, Rue stood and walked toward the table. The newspaper from that morning was folded neatly where Ignis usually sat and his jacket was draped over the back of the seat.  _Where the hell…?_

Shaking her head, she headed to the bathroom, realizing with general annoyance that she’d slept with her contacts in—again.  _I’m gonna get a killer infection one these days._ Quickly, she switched to her glasses and headed back to the bedroom, uncertain of what to do. Before she could decide, her door swung open and Rayne stood in the doorway, eyebrow arched as she wielded a pair of steaming bowls.

“Well, I’ll be damned. You were right, Iggy.”

Rue suddenly noticed the advisor that just barely stood taller than the woman as they entered the room without another word. Confused, she watched them pass her by and settle at the table with their soup. Rayne glanced up at her.

“You don’t have to stand there and gawk. Sit down.”

“Okay?” Rue obeyed, sitting on the other side of the table beside Ignis, who sat at the end. Finding herself nervous, she watched Rayne take a sip of broth from her spoon.

“This is  _good._ ”

“I should have added the carrots.”

“Nah, I think it’s better without them.”

“So, uh, anything on the agenda for today?” Rue butted in anxiously, looking between them. They exchanged a look, staring each other down until Rayne gave in, sinking back into her chair and crossing her arms.

“Camelia asked to talk to Noct again—alone—so we’re waiting.”

“That’s all?”

“Yup.” She downed another spoonful, grimacing when she burnt her tongue. “Shit, that’s hot.”

“Alright…” Rue frowned, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Ignis refused to look at her, focused on the front page of the news that she  _knew_ he’d already read judging by the way his eyes flitted across the paper over and over again. “Guys, what—”

“I can’t do this,” Rayne groaned, throwing her head back. Ignis shot her a warning scowl, but she ignored it. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“Do what?” Rue asked, unnerved by their interaction.

“Why the  _hell_  didn’t you think to mention that you have a daughter?” Rayne demanded. Suddenly, Rue felt as though she’d been punched in the gut, overcome with nausea at the mere thought that they knew about Ana. She knew the blood was draining from her face as she stumbled over answers, trying desperately to catch Ignis’s eye. No such luck. “Didn’t you think it was important? Why didn’t  _Eren_ say anything?”

“He doesn’t know,” Rue replied dryly, her voice hardly above a whisper. She thought she might throw up then and there.

“How the hell does he not know?” Rayne scoffed. “What, you keep her locked in a closet all day?” Ignis cleared his throat softly.

“Rayne.”

“What? I want to know!”

“She’s not… around.” Rue shuddered, blood running cold.

“What, she’s with her dad? Oh, wait.  _Oh. Shit_ , I…” Rayne stammered, eyes wide with realization. “Gods, I’m a dumbass. I’m so sorry.”

Rue was certain she was being stabbed in the heart over and over again, that someone was standing on her lungs and crushing them until she could only take in the short, quick bursts of air she was breathing. Quickly, she swallowed the lump in her throat as silence overtook them, staring down at her clammy hands as she laced them together nervously. She  _really_ thought she was going to throw up.

“Rue,” Ignis started, finally looking up at her. She shook her head, unable to even scowl at him.

“How did you know?”

“You don’t remember?” Rayne frowned, glancing at Ignis. He didn’t look back, turning his eyes back to the soup that he had yet to touch. “You had a  _fit_ last night after you got hurt. Kept screaming about your daughter and how you have to find her.”

“Hurt?” Rue repeated, utterly confused. Ignis’s brows pinched together and Rayne snorted.

“Hell yeah. Ignis was convinced you were dying, threw a tantrum when I wouldn’t heal you, and then everyone ganged up on me and now you’re alive.” Rayne rolled her eyes, shooting Ignis a pointed look. He scowled back.

“Heal me? What’re you talking about?”

“All the sparkly magic shit everyone likes to remind me about?” she retorted. Rue recalled a rumor she’d heard about a year back and nodding slowly, wrestling the memories of Ana that tried to force their way free, memories that she’d kept locked away for so long. “Anyway, your daughter—”

“Rayne,” Ignis snapped. She shut her mouth, but she wasn’t happy about it, standing abruptly.

“Fine. I’ll leave you two to kiss each other’s asses.” She shoved her bowl toward Rue, who flinched when hot broth spilled over and burnt her skin. “Eat that before you starve yourself to death. No one’ll care what you look like once you’re dead.” With that, she turned on her heels and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Ignis sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.” Rue forced herself to take a deep breath, taking up the spoon in one trembling hand and stirring the soup around to give herself something to focus on. “I’m sorry about anything stupid I said or did yesterday.”

“There was nothing,” he replied firmly, catching her eye. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

“She’s just worried about you.”

“She can mind her own damn business,” Rue snapped, instantly regretting her angry reply. “I’m sorry, it’s not your fault.”

“I tried to keep her quiet.”

“That’s okay. I’d rather be aware of what people know about me anyway.” She forced a weak smile onto her face. “Gotta keep my image.”

“Rue…”

“And thanks for forcing her to help,” she added after his voice trailed off. “I guess I owe you one.”

“You owe me nothing. If anything, you owe Rayne.”

“Nah, she owed me for putting me through it,” Rue huffed, crossing her arms on the table and resting her chin on top.

“She saved your life.”

“And I’m grateful.” Rue felt her heart flutter again as she spoke. “But that doesn’t give her a right to demand personal information.”

“I understand.”

“… That came off as bitchy. I’m sorry.” Ignis raised his eyebrow and she groaned, hitting her head against her forearms. “Shit, we’re stuck in a perpetual apology cycle.”

“I’m sorry it came to this.”

“ _Ignis,_ ” she huffed, earning a slight smile.

“Have you heard anything from Eren?”

“No. I’m sure he’s okay, though. It won’t help to worry.”

“Character development.”

“Whatever,” she scoffed, standing. “I don’t mean to insult your cooking, but I don’t want this.”

“I don’t want it either,” he admitted, glancing down at his bowl. Rue stretched, trying to play off her stress as nothing more than a momentary bump in the road. She watched, concerned, as he checked his phone to see no notifications.

“Are you nervous about Noctis?”

“A touch,” he sighed, adjusting his glasses. “Not that I don’t have faith in his abilities, but his reaction yesterday didn’t bode well for Camelia’s answer.”

“He’ll be alright,” she reassured him. He nodded, arching a brow as she paced toward the bookshelf.

“Restless, are we?”

“A little.” She turned back to him, frowning. “What happened to those people that attacked?” Ignis crossed his arms, looking over at the windows.

“There were protests happening outside the back entrance to the manor last night. I suppose the people caught wind of Noctis’s plans and wanted to voice their opinions. Some rallied for violence and stormed the gates, ready to humiliate him in order to prove a point.” He shook his head. “Shortly after Gladio brought you back here, Camelia came to us and assured us that she wouldn’t accept such behavior.”

“What’s she planning to do about it?”

“I’m not sure. If anything, she’ll make a speech in hopes that they’ll be willing to listen. She has, after all, led them through many crises.”

“Hey, whatever works,” she muttered, stepping up the balcony doors and peering outside. Altissia hardly seemed as bright as it did the night before with the music playing and the fireworks bursting overhead. She recalled Ignis’s smile, her laughter, the teasing and joking around. Looking back, it almost felt as though they were hanging out as friends, not as an employer and his subordinate. It was strange. “When do you think we’ll be heading back?”

“Likely as soon as Camelia makes a decision.”

“Why, so she can’t change her mind?” She looked back to see Ignis smiling and shaking his head. 

“No, not quite. Cor can only handle so much on his own.”

“Huh.” Her smile faded, and she crossed her arms, turning back to the glass. “You should’ve left me behind. I would’ve been a hell of a lot more useful there than I was here.”

“Why do you say that? You saved Prompto’s life.”

“Yeah, but…” She shook her head. “Anyone could’ve done that. I’m stuck in a constant cycle of being too weak to protect everyone and too stubborn to die.”

“… I have a proposal.”

“So did Gladio,” she retorted, facing him with a half-hearted grin. “Let’s hear it.” Ignis paused to acknowledge her statement with a frown before continuing.

“I’ve been thinking… Perhaps it’s time you moved on to the Glaive.” Half of Rue wanted to jump around in excitement and the other half ached as she wondered if he’d decided he’d had enough of her nonsense. “That’s why you work for me to begin with, is it not? If you train with Gladio in his spare time, I’m certain Rayne will be far more lenient.”

“Why the sudden change of heart?”

“There was no change; I was not opposed to you pursuing your intentions in any way.” Ignis sighed, looking uncertain if he should elaborate. Slowly, he did. “However… I feel as though I understand why you are so persistent about joining the Kingsglaive.”

“Yeah,” Rue murmured, realizing that he basically knew everything there was to know about her at this point. She murdered her husband in cold blood, watched her father die, suffered through the death of her child, sold herself for cash, and used him to get to where she really wanted to be. She couldn’t help but feel guilty. “Listen, I don’t want you to feel like I just used you for the Glaive.”

“I don’t feel that at all.”

“I really did care,” she insisted. “After I saw how much pressure you were under, I really tried to make it easier. I felt bad.”

“No need to pity me,” he replied, shaking his head. “I’m accustomed to the busyness.”

“…” Rue anxiously played with the short sleeves of her shirt, mulling over her next words. “How much longer do you think I’ll be working for you if that works out?”

“However long you need until you feel you’re ready for Rayne to accept you in.” It sounded too good to be true, but he seemed genuine. Smiling, Rue took a breath to thank him, but the door flew open before she could speak and Noctis rushed into the room, looking cockier than ever.

“How’d it go?” Ignis asked, adjusting his glasses. Noctis flashed a smug smile and crossed his arms.

“She’s down. We signed an agreement and everything.” Rue felt relieved when Ignis proudly congratulated his king.  _One step closer to that peace you dream of._

_~3 years before~_

_“These scraps aren’t gonna keep me full for long,” Alec moaned, sinking back against the wall and clutching his stomach with long, tattooed fingers._

_Lenna rolled her eyes and tucked a strand of graying hair behind her ear. Heavy coats enveloped them all, hiding the starvation that was quickly closing in on them. A tattered scarf hid Dex’s face, but the rest weren’t nearly as fortunate. Their hollowed cheeks and puffy eyes couldn’t be hidden well enough by the darkness in their cave, highlighted by the shadows cast by the fire in the center of their circle. Beside Rue, a small figure shivered, pulling a blanket tighter around her shoulders. Her pale eyes glowed yellow, reflecting the light of the flames._

_“Seriously? No comment?” Alec sat up, staring at his companions in disbelief. “Rue, your **kid** is dying!”_

_“Don’t bring her into this!” Dex defended when Rue shot the young man a glare. Lenna sighed, rubbing her hands together._

_“What do you suggest we do then, Alec?” she asked, giving him the attention he wanted. “They still aren’t letting us into the closed cities because of the daemons and we can’t keep robbing people. It’s inhumane.”_

_“What about the dipshits we just stole from?” Alec demanded._

_“Language,” Rue muttered, poking at the fire. He rolled his eyes._

_“They’re not good people,” Dex replied in a low voice, brown eyes serious. “They kill people for fun, they kidnap women from the cities, they burn shelters to hear people scream. But we can’t steal from them again, not for a while.”_

_“And why not? What’s two more cans of beans?”_

_“They’re guarding their supply now,” Lenna sighed. “And they will be for a long time until they’re comfortable again.”_

_“What if they don’t know yet?”_

_“Something tells me those psychos are little controlling,” Dex scoffed. He glanced across the fire and nodded toward Ana._ _“Is she doing alright?”_

_“She’s okay,” Rue lied, shifting closer to the girl to shelter her from a blast of cold air that rushed through the tunnels leading to their hideout. Ana nodded, rubbing her pink little nose. She shivered, staring at the fire as the adults talked. If she dared to open her mouth, her mother would just shut her up. There was no point in telling the truth._

_“Okay.”_

_Alec’s stomach growled loudly and he raised his eyebrows, pointing to it. Ana giggled, burying her face behind the collar of her coat. Dex fought a smile as Lenna rolled her eyes and stood, shifting from one foot to the next. She looked distracted, toying with her coarse hair._

_“What’re you thinking about?” Rue asked, looking up at the woman nervously. Lenna sighed._

_“The kid has a point.” Alec’s face changed to one of disbelief when she turned to face him. “Really, Rue. Ana’s looking worse every day.”_

_“Don’t put yourself in danger for me,” Rue insisted. Lenna’s jaw worked and her eyes grew colder than the wind._

_“Don’t you make this about yourself; you always do. Your **daughter** is starving to death, and yet, I don’t see you giving her your portion or keeping her close at night to keep her from shivering away all her energy. You’re a selfish little girl, Rue. I’m putting myself in danger for  **Ana**."_

_“You know **nothing** ,” Rue snapped. “How can I be there for her if I’m dead? I don’t see you giving  **your** portion, now do I? Mind your own damn business.”_

_“Language,” Alec sang out. Dex elbowed him._

_“It’s not my responsibility.”_

_“Then screw off.”_

_“Afraid I can’t.” Lenna raised a thin eyebrow. “I stood by as my daughter overdosed. I watched my husband drink himself to death. I let the king’s bootlickers drag my son to his death.” She crouched, pushing a finger into Rue’s face. “I will **not** let some uptight  **bitch** take this little girl’s life for granted because her mother’s too busy watching her own back.”_

_“Lenna, that’s enough,” Dex spoke up, frowning. His fingers toyed with the ring that hung around his neck._

_“No, it ain’t,” Lenna scoffed. Fed up, Rue shoved the woman away, sending her flat on her back._

_“You have no **idea** what I’ve gone through to keep her safe!” she shouted. “Every  **goddamn** thing I do is for her, and I do it gladly! I’m  **sorry** about your family, but that doesn’t mean you get to push your ideals on me.”_

_“Ideals,” Lenna snorted. “What’d you give up for her, huh? Your **drugs**?”_

_“Drugs,” Rue repeated with a scoff. “Like I said, you know nothing.” Her anger flared again and she gripped the woman’s collar, jerking her upward toward her face. “But you still think you’re so fucking smart, don’t you?” Her thin arms trembled under the weight, but her muscles were fueled by adrenaline. Dex and Alec watched anxiously. “ **I murdered her goddamn father to give her a life worth living!”** she screamed, spit flying as she shook Lenna. “I took a kitchen knife and I stabbed him and stabbed him and  **stabbed** him until he was a fucking  **pulp** because he laid his hands on her and I was  **not** going to let  **anyone** hurt my baby!”_

_“Good,” Lenna gritted, shoving away to free herself. “I’m real proud of you, kiddo. You want a medal?” She got to her feet, brushing the dirt off her clothes. “I don’t care about the past. You ain’t doin’ shit for her now. Killin’ her father does nothing but scar her for life.” Her eyes flitted to the other faces in the room. “I’m gonna go get some food. Your kid’s crying.”_

_Rue turned sharply to see Ana’s shoulders shaking as she sobbed, sniffling and burying her head into her coat sleeve. **Shit** **.** Quickly, Rue rested an arm around the child’s shoulder and tried to lift her face to wipe away her tears. Ana jerked away, scrambling to her feet and throwing her blanket to the ground. From where she stood in the light of the fire,the shadows turned her face into a skull. Her eyes were bright red, her nose running as she choked on her tears._

_“Ana, baby—”_

_“Why are you so mean!?” Ana cried. “Lenna didn’t do anything but help!”_

_“Lenna didn’t—”_

_“And you just yell at everyone!” She crossed her arms, pouting. “Alec’s hungry!”_

_“Damn straight I am.”_

_“Bad word,” she snapped, scowling at him. Alec sighed, rolling his eyes over to Dex._

_“Just as bad as her mother.”_

_“Ana, I’m sorry, okay?” Rue stood, staring her daughter down. “I know this isn’t what you want, but none of us want to live this way.” She sighed, shoving her hands into her pockets. “Why don’t you come sit back over here and we can talk without bothering Alec and Dex.”_

_“No.”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_Ana turned on the heels of her holey boots and sat down between the two men, crossing her arms and raising a dark eyebrow. Rue sighed. **Well, she’s definitely mine.**_

_“No.” She scowled at Alec when he laughed. “I’m sitting right here and waiting for Lenna. I won’t move until you apologize.”_

_“You’re joking,” Rue huffed. Dex chuckled._

_“She’s very determined.”_

_“Yeah, she is.”_

_Rue leaned back against the moist rock of the cave wall, crossing her arms. She watched the fire go in and out, watched the red-hot coals ripple with light and the embers leap into the air. Time passed as it always did; it simply passed. They had no way to keep track of night or day anymore now that the sun had stopped rising for good. They just had to wait._

_It was the sound of footsteps that drew her from her thoughts. Dex and Ana looked excited upon realizing that their friend must be returning with another meal. Then Dex frowned, sitting straighter. Rue frowned, watching him stand and creep toward the entrance to their small cubby of a cave._

_“What’s wrong?” she hissed. His brows knitted together and he looked down at her._

_“It sounds like more than one person.”_

_“Maybe Lenna found a new strangler,” Alec suggested. “The last one was shit.”_

_“The last one was me,” Ana frowned, pouting._

_“Exactly.”_

_“Knock it off,” Rue huffed. Dex still looked **very** worried._

_The footsteps quickened and Rue realized he was right. Just as she got to her feet, unsure what to do, men began to shout as they stormed into the room._

_“Get down!” one bellowed, waving a gun around the cavern. “Sit, all of you!”_

_“Shit, shit, shit,” Alec hissed, clutching Ana to his chest when she cried out. Three men stood inside their space, aiming their guns at them all with sneers on their scarred faces. A final man came through, dragging a struggling Lenna behind him. Rue felt the blood drain from her face._

_“Hello, ladies,” he greeted, his lips twisting into a disgusting smile of rotting, blackened teeth. “Missing this?”_

_“Let go!” Lenna snapped, trying to wrench herself free._

_“Ah ah ah,” he teased, shoving her to the floor and pressing a foot into her back. “Caught this little rat stealing from me. Set her free and she led us right back here. Funny, is it?” He cackled and goosebumps prickled across Rue’s skin. “So, I’m willin’ to bet you’ve stolen from us before. That means you gotta pay.” He drew a gun from his hip and aimed it at Rue, who quickly held up her hands._

_“Please…”_

_“Should I shoot you?” To Dex. “Or you?” To Ana. He grinned. “Or **you?** ” He chuckled and put the gun back. “I’ve made my decision. That’s a talent of mine, by the way. Makin’ decisions quickly, that is.” Rue’s stomach churned. “Gentlemen, grab the little girl. They can have their old coot when I get the cutie.”_

_“ **No!”**  Rue leaped to her feet and one of the men aimed to shoot her. She kept her hands up, trembling. “No, you can’t take her.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“She’s mine,” she growled._

_“So was my food,” the man shrugged. “Your point? An eye for an eye.”_

_“A **child** is not a fucking replacement for a goddamn can of beans!” she shouted, terrified. She half expected to be shot on the spot. The man threw back his head and laughed._

_“Damn, okay. I want you, too, Sweetheart. I like a girl with a mouth on ‘er.”_

_“Wait…” Rue whimpered. One of the men grabbed her arms and twisted them behind her back to tie them together. She stared at Dex, pleading with her eyes. He stood, dumbfounded. Lenna sat strangely quiet on the floor. Ana cried out when another man tied her arms up. “Don’t hurt her!”_

_“You heard the woman; be gentle.”_

_“We got ‘em ready to go,” one of the men called, tightly gripping Rue’s bindings and tugging on her long hair._

_“Good.” The leader grabbed Lenna’s elbow and jerked her to her feet. “Now, then, the finale.” Alec’s eyes widened and he jumped up._

_“Don’t hurt her!”_

_“Shut up!” One of the men smacked him across the face with the butt of his gun. Alec clutched his eye, horrified as their leader drew his gun and pressed it to Lenna’s temple._

_“You said—” Dex started._

_“Yeah, but that’s before I thought. See, I could replace the food, and I am, with these two. **But,** I ain’t ever gettin’ my food  **back,** so why do you get your friend back, hm?”_

_“Don’t do this,” Alec begged. Dex couldn’t find any more words._

_“Ana, don’t look,” Rue managed to croak out. “Close your eyes.”_

_“Oh, that’s cute,” the man sneered, pulling the trigger without warning._

_Ana’s scream was shrill, and for a moment, Rue was afraid she’d been shot. But when she looked over at her daughter, she knew the injuries suffered were far from physical. “Let’s get outta here,” the man grumbled, shoving Lenna’s lifeless body to the floor. Alec choked on sobs, burying his face in his hands. Rue tore her eyes away from Dex, worried only about Ana._

_“I’ll come for you,” Dex said, but his voice was broken. The leader chuckled._

_“Yeah, I’m sure you will, soldier boy. We’ll be waitin’ for you.”_

 


	34. Insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Detention" by Melanie Martinez

“Thanks for the ride, Cid.”

“Any time, Highness,” the old mechanic croaked out, waving Iris’s hands away when she reached out to help him down from the ship. “Just don’t go makin’ any more enemies, ya hear?”

“I’ll try.”

Rue could hardly concentrate as they lugged their things down from the lighthouse to the SUV that was still parked in the driveway. Iris teased her brother relentlessly, demanding to see Rayne’s ring, and hugged him tightly. Rayne waved to her brother and he raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. Squeezing past Prompto and Ignis as they joined the conversation between the Amicitias, Rue tossed her bag of ingredients in the back and grabbed an Ebony for Ignis, reminding herself to quit shoving them in his face so often. Giving the guy coffee was a nervous tick at this point.

Finally, they loaded up into the vehicle, determined to make it back to Insomnia before it got too late. They’d been forced to spend the night in Altissia after Noctis was able to earn Camelia’s favor, waiting for Cid to bring the boat back, and then they’d risen early and hurried to the harbor only to be forced to wait for a rather large sailboat to move. It took longer than anyone would care to acknowledge. The sun had reached its highest point in the sky by the time they left Cape Caem and the people that stood waving (or simply sulking in Signum’s case) in the driveway. Prompto immediately whipped out his camera and Rue braced herself for listening to his incessant chatter about the photo’s he’d taken.

“Dude, I took a lot more of you than I thought,” he laughed after going through a streak of six pictures of Rue, either alone or with him.

There was one of she and Ignis frowning at a paper Anna handed over before they entered Camelia’s office—that one made her laugh. They looked pissed at the teeny print and excessive redundancies about secrecy. Their own people didn’t know they were gone, for heaven’s sake. They could hold a secret without swearing themselves to the barracks otherwise. There were a few others that either made her smile or struck a chord in her heart, from a photo of Noctis pouting after he lost a game to Prompto to a snap of Rayne giving the camera the finger to Ignis grinning in front of a shop where he found an ingredient that was apparently very rare—as in, tens of thousands of gil rare. She sighed when the slideshow was over, combing her fingers through her hair and offering Prompto a small smile.

“Those were really good. Do you ever do anything with them?”

“I usually just print them out and put them together in books,” he shrugged, scooting back into his own seat. “I don’t think it’s very professional to have photos of us hanging out on the internet.”

“Maybe not,” Rue muttered.

“Anyway, enough about me. What do you like to do in your free time?”

“Me?” Rue scoffed, trying to think of any hobbies she had. “I dunno, I kinda just lay in bed and watch stupid videos.”

“Sounds about right,” Rayne grumbled.

“So, you like to laugh!” Prompto concluded, practically crawling back to her side. “Got any good jokes?”

“Not that I can think of on the spot,” she shrugged. “How about you?”

“Hm, let me think…” He frowned at the dashboard for a few moments before his eyes lit up and he turned back to her. “When I was a kid, I used to lay in my twin-sized bed and wonder where my brother was.” For a moment, no one reacted. Then Rue rolled her eyes, grinning.

“Wow.” She snickered to herself, turning to face him. “Okay, I got one. My aunt liked to tell this stupid jokes when she visited." She laughed before she even spoke. "If life keeps giving you melons, you might be dyslexic.”

“Seriously?” Rayne scoffed, but she was obviously fighting a laugh as she turned to shoot them a look.

“Say what you want about deaf people…” Noctis mumbled.

“Not. Funny.” Prompto countered.

“When’s the worst time to have a heart attack?” Rue asked, still unable to keep from laughing at her own joke before she told it.

“Uh, any time?” Rayne replied, eyebrows raised.

“During a game of charades.”

"That was stupid."

“Oh! I got one, too.” Prompto turned to kneel on the seats, leaning toward Gladio, who looked up from his novel with an arched eyebrow. “Is that a book about antigravity? You can’t seem to put it down!”

“That was bad,” Rayne groaned, glancing at Ignis. Pressing her lips together, she turned to face Rue. “But I can do better.”

“Yeah?” Rue challenged, waiting.

“I bet the coffee in your house has it rough every morning.”

“Why’s that?” she prodded. Rayne grinned proudly.

“It gets mugged every morning.” After a collective groan, Ignis spoke up.

“I thought perhaps it was because it can’t stand the daily grind.”

“Stop that,” Rue huffed, earning an amused glance in the rearview mirror.

“Listen, I know you all think you’re hot stuff,” Gladio started, looking over at his book to meet their expectant stares. “But whenever I get undressed in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on.”

“Gods,” Rayne huffed, burying her face in her hands. She peeked through her fingers at Ignis. “Iggy, I’m marrying that.”

“Yes, well…” Ignis sighed, pushing up his glasses and looking over at her smugly. “I wish you luck.”

~|~|~|~|~

“You really didn’t have to make everyone else suffer while you drove me out here,” Rue insisted, pulling her suitcase out of the trunk. Ignis closed it behind her, following her around the side of the car. “Seriously, Noctis might kill me.”

“He’ll be alright,” Ignis sighed, shaking his head as the king made a point of glaring at him through the darkened glass. Rayne stuck her head out of the driver’s window.

“Hey! I used to live here!” She turned to face Rue, raising an eyebrow. “Fifth floor?”

“Third,” Rue corrected, uneasy at the fact that this building had somehow survived long enough to connect she and that bat-shit crazy woman even further.

“Ah, the cheap ones.”

“… Yeah.” Rue tucked her hair behind her ear, turning to face Ignis, who frowned at Rayne.

“Are you driving back?” he asked, sounding a touch irritated.

“What? No! I’m leaning on the steering wheel.” She stuck out a hand. “See, I—” Her other hand must have slipped, because the horn honked loudly, and she hit her chin on the edge of the open window, grimacing. “Shit!” Her head disappeared back into the vehicle.

“What a mess,” Rue sighed, shaking her head. By some miracle, they’d made it back just after sundown. Ignis decided to drop her off first because everyone else had transportation waiting at the Citadel and she didn’t exactly want to lug her stuff across the city alone. Thoughtful of him. “I left my backpack back there for you so you can have all your food. Just return it whenever you remember to.”

“Thank you.”

“So, what, is this where we shake hands and plan to see each other again in the morning?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

“I suppose, if that’s what you want.”

“Alrighty.” She stuck out her hand, which he took with an arched brow and a smile. “I shall see you at eight o’clock sharp tomorrow morning, Mr. Scientia.”

“I—”

“Hey, dumbass!” Rayne’s head popped back outside. “Not you, Iggy, don’t give me that look.” Rue rolled her eyes. “Hey, listen. I just got a text from one of my guys. Deed’s done, the Glaives are coming back in two days.”

“Eren too?” Rue demanded, feeling her heart begin to pound with excitement as Rayne nodded, grinning. “Hell yeah!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ignis cut in, heading back toward the car and waiting impatiently for Rayne to drag herself back over to her seat. Giving a quick wave, Rue hurried inside the complex and entered the elevator. Not caring that an old man and a young girl, presumably his granddaughter, were present, she heaved a sigh and sunk back against the wall.

“Just get back from a trip?” a raspy voice asked. “Or are you just arriving?”

“Huh?” Rue opened her eyes to see the old man looking at her. “Oh, I just got back.”

“Where’d you go?” the little girl asked. Rue couldn’t help but notice the similarities in her rounded, pink cheeks or her shining eyes. She smiled softly.

“Altissia.”

“Really?! That’s so cool!”

“Yeah, it was.” She crinkled her nose. “Kinda expensive, though.”

“I’ll bet,” the old man chuckled. “Did you go with some friends?”

“Uh…” She nodded after a moment. “Yeah. I did. I had a lot of fun, but I guess now it’s time to get back to work.”

“That’s the way it goes,” the man sighed.

The elevator dinged, and Rue stepped out, offering a little wave to the girl that called out a goodbye. She walked up to her door, pushing her keys in and feeling the lock click. For a moment, she hesitated, heart skipping a beat. What if those kids are in there waiting for me? Uneasily, she summoned her gun and pushed the door open, stepping aside. Thanking the gods that no one was in the halls, she carefully peered into her apartment. Honey ran right up to her, purring. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw Relir staring at her, eyebrow raised as she lounged on the couch.

“Yes?”

“Sorry,” Rue huffed, letting her weapon dissipate. “I thought maybe someone had broken in.”

“No one other than me.”

“Cool.”

“You look tired.” Rue shot her friend a look as she lugged her suitcase inside. “Did you have fun?”

“Yup.”

“What’d you do?”

“Uh…” Rue scratched at the back of her head. “I dunno, took a lot of notes? I witnessed an engagement, too. Hung out with my boss. Fended for my life…” She shrugged. “The usual.”

“Of course,” Relir huffed, rolling her eyes. She turned off the TV and stood, stretching her arms over her head. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. I’d usually pry, but Dex is probably going to stay up until I get home. I like your cat, by the way, and I usually hate cats.”

“She’s a cutie,” Rue smiled, looking up as Honey stood on the breakfast bar, attempting to get her attention with soft mewls and purrs. “Thanks for keeping an eye out for her even though it wasn’t really necessary.”

“No problem.” Relir forced her into a hug, grabbed her jacket off the wall, and disappeared. Rue was so caught up in it all that she forgot to tell her about Eren’s survival.

Suddenly remembering the news, she pulled out her phone and checked for a text or a missed call. Her heart sank when she saw nothing. He didn’t even think to tell me? Maybe he wanted it to be a surprise. Sighing, she headed to her room, catching sight of the photo of Ana that stood at her bedside. Her bright smile, her sparkling eyes, the way her every feature was a copy of her mother’s. Rue plugged her phone in and fell onto her bed, exhausted. Thanks to Ignis, everything was slowly starting to fall back into place the way that she wanted it to so much earlier on. But I guess… things don’t always go as planned, do they, Ana? Shaking her head, she ran her hand across her covers, smoothing them. I love you, Rue. Rue swallowed hard, crinkled her nose, and immediately got out of bed. Might as well shower the scent of seawater out of her hair before morning.


	35. 180 Degrees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Leave Me Alone" by NF

The following day passed quickly. Most everything she or anyone from the Crownsguard did was an act of recovery from what they’d missed on their trip to Altissia. Rue spent most of her time at work daydreaming about Eren’s return as she crafted an official transcription of her notes from Camelia’s office. If they hadn’t been keeping so quiet about their relationship, would he sweep of her feet like in the movies? She crinkled her nose. Cute, but they weren’t the showy types. The last thing she wanted was for them to be comparable to Relir and Dex.

When she went home that night, her empty backpack slung over her shoulder, she turned on a murder documentary and grabbed her last bottle of wine, making a mental note to go grocery shopping the next day. She curled up on the couch in her pajamas, hugging Honey to her chest and drinking straight from the bottle like any semi-alcoholic heathen might. Considering the circumstances of the last time she sat and watched television late like this, she was easy on herself when her heart began to pound and her breaths felt short. She gave in and went to bed, taking extra care to lock her bedroom door, and dozed off with Honey sprawled out by her head.

In sharp contrast, her heart practically sang as her eyes opened to the sound of her alarm. Rue got ready with the most energy she’d ever had in the morning, careful to make her bed and put her coffee mug in the dishwasher before she left, heavy jacket slung over her shoulders and phone weighing down her right pocket. Her steps were brisk and peppy, her reflexes quick as she weaved her way through the early morning traffic on her way to the Citadel. Relir lectured her the day before about not sharing the news of Eren’s return; today she smiled and gave her an excited hug before rushing off to train. Ignis hardly batted an eye when she stepped into his office, grinning from ear to ear as she threw her jacket up onto the coat hanger.

“Guess what today is.”

“Judging by the look on your face, today is the day the troops from Gralia return.”

“Yup!” She shuddered, elated, and leaned forward to peek at what he was writing down on a piece of paper, palms pressed to his desk. Ignis looked up, eyebrow raised. “What’ve you got for me today?”

“A lighter workload,” he admitted, tucking the paper into his notebook and scooting his chair back to search a drawer to his left. “That way you get a chance to speak with Rayne and Gladio about my offer and you can go home after Eren arrives.” Rue couldn’t help but feel stunned by the act of kindness, and if it wasn’t kindness, it was certainly thoughtful. “I need a thorough report of the events in Altissia—from the business end. Because of your… lapse in memory, we’ll call it, I will handle the attack.”

“Sounds good,” she nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. Uneasily, she tilted her head to the side, hesitating to speak. He must have heard her thoughts, looking up expectantly. “Why were those people even there? Just to prove a point? I think they could’ve done that without trying to  _kill_  us.”

“Perhaps they thought the only way to be rid of our influence for good was death.”

“They felt trapped?”

“There’s a chance. Consider the murder of your husband, for example.” Rue frowned as he spoke the words casually, as though they held no weight. Taking the page of bullet points from his hands, she shook her head.

“I’d rather not draw that comparison, if you don’t mind. I don’t see much similarity.”

“You weren’t trying to prove a point?” Ignis asked. Rue felt suffocated, an instant turnaround from how she felt moments before. Since when did he poke his nose around in her business? She didn’t like his sudden curiosity, answering coldly.

“I was trying to save my daughter from her druggie father before he could hurt her. That was the only  _point_.” He clearly sensed that he’d crossed a line before he’d spoken the words, quickly turning his eyes from hers at her snappy response.

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to make assumptions.”

“No, you didn’t mean to  _voice_ them,” she corrected. “Thanks for the easy day.” With that, she took a deep breath, shook her head and headed out the door, trying to contain the rush of emotions that overwhelmed her.

The report was easy enough, though she hadn’t written one in years and therefore felt a little out of her element until she got into the groove of juggling a thesaurus site and a word processor at the same time. Finally, she leaned back in her seat, quickly skimming the pages as she stretched her arms up. Satisfied, she emailed Ignis the final draft and printed a dozen copies in case he planned on giving whoever needed them tangible material. She returned to his office much less heated than she was when she left, handing over the copies and acknowledging his thanks with a nod.

“Any tips for getting on Rayne’s good side?”

“I think we’ve already established that you’re a bit late on that front.”

“What would you have said otherwise?”

“The first rule of earning her favor is to avoid putting people in danger.” Ignis glanced up at her with a pointed, albeit somewhat playful, look.

“The second?”

“Doing what you’re told.”

“Damn,” she hissed, scratching the back of her head. “Fine, whatever, I got this. Maybe she likes me a little more after our  _business trip._ ”

She couldn’t help but remember how  _pissed_ she was the last time she stood before the door to Rayne’s office. This was different; she’d made good on her promise of his return, not that it was entirely in her control to begin with. Slowly, she pushed open the door, knocking softly on the wood. Rayne looked up from where she sat at her desk, her knee restlessly bouncing and her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Is this a bad time?” Rue asked, cringing. Rayne shook her head, closing the folder of papers she was staring at.

“Nah, I need a break from this bullshit. What’s up?”

Relieved, Rue stepped into the office and closed the door behind her. She walked toward Rayne’s desk and carefully lowered herself into one of the seats there, unable to ease her immediate guarded attitude. She forced it aside with all her might.

“So… Ignis brought up an interesting idea to me in Altissia,” she started, crossing her legs. She gnawed her cheek as she thought. “I guess he also kind of figured me out.”

“I doubt it, and if he has, he deserves an award,” Rayne scoffed, leaning back and crossing her arms.

“... Yeah, so, here’s the thing—this’ll take some of your support, which is why I’m here. He said that if I want a real shot at the Glaive again, I should talk to Gladio about training with me until I’m comfortable with trying to join. I also need your approval for that, and I figured I’d get it before I got in too deep.”

“That’s… something I should have been expecting, and yet, I wasn’t,” Rayne admitted, reaching out to grab a pen and hit it against the desk a few times. “Here’s the thing: I thought we’d gotten past the whole Glaive thing a  _long_ time ago. How long has this been your goal?”

“It’s never changed,” Rue shrugged, fiddling with her fingers nervously. Rayne sighed, shaking her head.

“Don’t you understand why we didn’t take you to begin with?”

“I’m painfully mediocre and you doubt my loyalty. Yeah, I know.” Rue leaned forward, forcing herself to maintain eye contact. “But I really think I can prove myself. The shit that went down in Altissia reminded me that I don’t have to wait until we’re friends to have a shot at getting in. I can fight.”

“Rue, the only reason you’re not dead right now is because I revived your sorry ass.”

“And I’m grateful, I swear I am, and I know I won’t always have that. I know I was sloppy, and I know I should’ve had to face the consequences instead of getting special treatment.” Rayne frowned. “But if I hadn’t survived, why would I be dead?” Rue titled her head to the side. “Yes, because I wasn’t aware of my surroundings, but I only left in the first place because I was trying to kill those men before they killed Noctis.”

“… You do realize that you won’t be alone when you’re in the Glaive, right?” Rayne thoughtfully chewed on the end of the pen in her hand. “You keep speaking as though you’d be fighting alone. Even if we hadn’t been there to cover you that night, the Glaive would’ve been. You watch each other’s backs.” She pressed her elbows to the desk, shrugging. “Frankly, that’s another reason I didn’t think you were a great candidate; you’re always so insistent on fighting your battles in solitude. That’s not how this works.”

Rue sat in silence for a moment, frowning as she replayed the woman’s words in her head. She couldn’t quite place the piece that made her feel uneasy, uncertain about her decision to pursue this path. Fighting as a team didn’t mean that she had to spill her guts to the Kingsglaive, she knew that, and yet, Rayne had made it sound like these people were the only ones that would be willing to lift a finger to help her—but only if she was open about her problems. It was skewed in a strange direction, and she couldn’t help but think it was because Rayne had been fighting alongside the same four people for her entire life.

“Tell you what,” Rayne said, sitting up straight. “We still need someone to look into those kids that broke in here and tried to kill Noct.”  _Does she not know they came after me, too?_ “If you can manage to train with Gladio consistently and get a good grasp on that resistance group, I’ll see about getting you a place in the Glaive.”

“Really?” Rue’s chest was cleared of uncertainty and replaced with a flood of relief almost immediately. “You’re serious? Just beat up some rascals and call it good?”

“Did you not hear a word that just came out of my mouth?” Rayne demanded, startled when Rue stood and aggressively shook her hand.

“You have yourself a deal, Miss Callen!”

“Wonderful,” Rayne huffed, pulling her hand away. She took a breath to spit out an insult when her office door flew open again and Axel peered into the office, grinning.

“They’re back.”

“Already?” Rayne scoffed, standing. Like an excited child, Rue followed, her hands jittery and sweaty.

Outside, towering military trucks lined the Citadel’s circular drive. The entire area before the steps was flooded with people, guards and Glaives, random staff and elders, all peering in to get their look at the first men and women to survive the big, bad land of Niflheim since the resistance there began. Quickly, Rue elbowed her way through the crowd, trying to peek over heads as the doors unlatched and soldiers jumped out. She couldn’t hear anything over the cheers and the applause. Huffing irritably, she forced down her stranger-danger instincts and grabbed the nearest person, shuffling closer to the young man so he could hear her.

“Hey, have you seen a tall, skinny guy? Brown hair and glasses?”

“Uh…” The kid frowned, and she let go of his arm, taking note of his guard uniform. She didn’t recognize him, but then again, she didn’t see very many of her own kind when she worked for Cam. Not after he moved her. “You mean Ignis Scientia? He’s over there.” He pointed over her shoulder to the advisor that stood and muttered something to Gladio, who chuckled. “They probably won’t like it if you bother him.” He looked over her outfit, obviously confused. “What, are you a reporter or somethin’? Where’s your crew?” She shook her head, rolling her eyes.

“No, not Ignis. I work for him.”

“I can’t help you,” he replied quickly, trying to shuffle away.

Taking a deep breath, Rue pushed her way toward the cars and past a line of guards meant to keep people away from them.  _Don’t all these asshats have somewhere else to be?_ Before she could take another moment to be irritated at the obnoxious group of people behind her and the shouts of Gale, her old guard pal who was  _clearly_ annoyed that the girl had slipped past, she spotted the exact figure she’d described to the kid she’d caught, and her heart leaped into her throat as she hurried toward him.

“Eren!” She called. He turned at the sound of his name, beaming when he caught sight of her. She didn’t care that everyone she worked with would demand stiff professionalism (except Ignis would probably be the only one); she threw her arms around his neck and locked her legs around his hips, grateful that she’d worn pants that day. Laughing, he held her tight, supporting her as she clung to him, unbelievably relieved and overjoyed. “You did it!”

“What’d I say?” he demanded playfully, pulling away just enough to raise an eyebrow at her. “Did you doubt me?”

“Not for a minute,” she lied, brushing his long hair out of his eyes and letting her feet come back to the ground. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“Ignis is letting me go early  _just_ for you.”

“Oh, really?”

He laughed at her eager nod and pulled her back into a tight embrace. Across the lot, at the top of the steps overlooking the scene, Rayne leaned toward Ignis, who watched Rue’s exchange with Eren expressionlessly. There was something off about the young man’s guarded demeanor, in the way his smile his melted when his face was hidden from her sight. Something that didn’t quite match the things he’d heard. Rayne elbowed him and he flinched.

“Well,  _they’re_  showy for people who like to keep to themselves, huh?” She scoffed when he sent her a look that spoke for itself. “Gladio and I are  _not_ like that.”

“I’ll hold my tongue,” he replied dryly, turning his eyes back to the pair as Rue threw her head back, laughing, and Eren gripped her arm, tugging as he tried to pull her toward the garage across the circle. There was something that had been planted in him while he was away, and for Rue’s sake, Ignis prayed that Eren’s changes weren’t irreversible. Something needed to break her track record of tragedy; he just wasn’t so sure she’d make it out of this one as safely as she thought.

~|~|~|~|~

“Ready to go?” Rue asked as Eren slung his hefty bag over his shoulder and turned to face her. He nodded, grabbing hold of her arm and nudging her in the direction of the parking garage’s outer door. “Hey, I need to get my jacket!”

“It can wait until tomorrow, can’t it?” He turned to face her and stuck out his bottom lip, pleading like a child. Rue rolled her eyes, pulled her arm from his tight grasp, and skipped a few steps up to his side.

“I guess so. It’s too warm out for it anyway.”

“Exactly. I'm much more fun than that musty old thing.”

“Are you really?”

Eren led the way to his car on the second tier of the lot exactly where they’d left it the week prior. Rue frowned when she realized he’d kept his keys with him in Gralia; why didn’t he put them somewhere safer? She could’ve locked them away in Ignis’s office for him if he’d just asked.  _Maybe it just didn’t cross his mind._ Shrugging off the gentle throb in her heart, she sat in the passenger seat and buckled up, smiling at him when he glanced in her direction.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked innocently, unable to keep a grin off his own face. 

“Oh, nothing. Maybe just the fact that you’re  _alive_ and we’re going  _home._ ”

“Correction:  _you’re_ going home and  _I’m_ staying at your place.”

“Okay, okay,” she huffed sarcastically, rolling her eyes. He laughed and pulled out of the parking garage, patting her knee with her free hand. She allowed her genuine happiness to sink in before she looked back at him. Uneasiness quickly began to settle when she realized how quickly his smile had faded away, replacing joy with a stern stare directed toward the road.  _He’s just tired._

“So,” he said, breaking the silence. Immediately, his demeanor perked up.  _Or he was just stuck on a thought…?_ “What’re we eating for dinner tonight?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, cocking her head to the side and gnawing on her lip. “All I have is freezer burnt broccoli and some eggs that are probably out of date by now.”

“Damn, do you eat  _anything?”_ he teased, shaking his head. “We’re  _definitely_ going somewhere tonight, then.”

“With Relir and Dex?”

“Uh, no. They can wait.” He stopped at the red light before him before turning to face her, eyebrow arched. “I can’t deal with the PDA right now, not unless I’m involved.”

“So if you were a part of their relationship—”

“Then  _hell_ _yeah_  they could come!”

Rue laughed, shaking her head and combing her fingers through her hair.  _How does this shit grow so fast?_ Sighing, she looked back over at him.

“We’re not going to become them.”

“Of course not. Not everyone can give so little care about how everyone else feels.”

“Eren,” she snickered, swatting his shoulder.

With a soft laugh, he turned back to the road and started driving again.  _There goes that smile… What’s on your mind?_ She wished she could pry, but at the same time, it felt like it was none of her business. His phone call from a few days earlier was still burning in the back of her mind, the strange way his voice sounded and how eager he was to make sure she knew how he felt. It was almost as if he expected to die, and she couldn’t quite imagine what he must’ve been doing at the time to elicit such a reaction. Then again, he’d given her time to process and space to heal when it came to sharing what made her the way she is; if anything, she owed him a little of the same grace.

They both heaved a sigh to fill the silence when the car parked in front of the apartment entrance. Slowly, Eren stood and got his bag from the back. Rue prayed she didn’t lock her door this morning when she realized her keys were in her jacket pocket. She was so excited about seeing Eren that it might’ve slipped her mind.  _Let’s hope I’m right._ Quickly, they headed inside and into the elevator. Rue wondered how long they were going to stand in silence when she felt a gentle touch on the back of her hand. She wrestled a small smile as their fingers intertwined at the back of the elevator filled with people returning to their homes for the evening.

When they reached Rue’s floor, she led the way to her door, never once letting go. Heart pounding in anticipation, she turned her doorknob and breathed an enormous sigh of relief when her door opened.  _Thank heavens I’m a ditzy little bitch._ She let go when Eren did, kicking off her shoes and heading to her kitchen to make sure she put everything away in the morning. Aside from the puddle of old coffee in the bottom of her coffee pot, the apartment was spotless. Eren set his bag down by the door and shed the first layer of his dirt and oil-smeared Glaive uniform.

“I see you cleaned up a bit,” he pointed out. Rue nodded, shrugging.

“I figured I might as well keep it from looking like a chocobo pen. Is it any better than wherever you guys were stationed in Gralia?”

“Anything’s better than Gralia,” he muttered, shaking his head. Rue frowned, turning her eyes to the shallow hallway where her bedroom was. “I dunno, I kind of liked the mess.”

“Why?” she scoffed.

“It’s an expression of your insides.”

“ _Okay.”_ Rue crossed her arms, suddenly finding the gaps in conversation uncomfortable. “I’m gonna go get changed into something less  _work-ish_ so we can go somewhere.”

“Do you have anything of mine in there by chance?” he asked. She paused halfway through a step, thinking.

“Not unless you want to wear sweatpants and a stained t-shirt.”

“Damn, you collect the worst shit from me, don’t you?”

“More like you leave the worst shit behind,” she scoffed, heading toward her room. “Where the hell's my giant sweatshirt, huh? I thought that was a given sacrifice.”

“I’m working on it,” he retorted, laughing to himself.

Rue took a deep breath upon closing her bedroom door, closing her eyes for a moment to gather her composure before heading to her closet to find something a little more comfortable. She knew his return was going to be difficult the moment he said those words, and it appeared that her initial instincts were correct. As she tugged her shirt on over her head and stared at her reflection in the mirror, she couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be before he perked back up again.  _He’s just tired. Different time zones and all that._ She ran her hands through her hair before opening her door and heading back out to the living room, where Eren stood staring out the broad window at the city.

“Hey,” she greeted, walking over to him. He didn’t answer, brows furrowed. “What’re you thinking about?”

“I…” Eren shook his head, glancing down at her. “I’m sorry about that phone call.”

“What?”  _Can he read my fucking mind?_

“I know it made you uncomfortable; maybe it still does. I really just didn’t know if I…” He shook his head again, touching his glasses nervously. Rue waited for him to explain, and when he didn’t, she figured she might as well ask.

“What happened out there, Eren?”  _What made you so afraid of dying?_

“I don’t…” Eren’s fingers were flexing back and forth, balling into fists and releasing.

“You don’t have to—”

“I don’t know why I even did it.” He frowned, staring hard at the glass. “Our commander just told us it was the best move and it’s what we did.”

“Eren, what are you talking about?”

“It was a hospital, set up for the people who were recovering after the Darkness. Lately, it’s been filled with injured people who were harmed during their resistance efforts.” He swallowed hard and Rue stood at his side, unsure what to do. Stop him? Offer her condolences? “But there were families there, too. Kids. Kids like… like Ana.”

Rue’s heart stopped for what felt like a century. Her blood ran cold and her chest ached.  _What do you mean “like Ana?” You know **nothing.**  _Eren took a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes growing dark.

“And we killed them—all of them. Every single person that was in the building died, no matter who they were.” Rue could hardly catch her breath, feeling as though she was suffocating as something crushed her lungs. “I slit the throat of a man who was begging for his life, not for himself, but because he wanted to save his daughter from the flames that were burning her alive fifty feet away.” His words were hissed with hatred and he blinked away the tears that began to pool in his eyes. “It was so  _wrong_ and I did it anyway.  _I_  set the first fire.”

“Eren…” Rue’s words caught in her throat. She couldn’t seem to conjure anything worth saying.

“I killed a bunch of innocent people in a hospital,” he stated dryly in disbelief. “They thought they were safe because no one in this goddamn world is  _twisted_ enough to do what we did.”

“You were following orders.”

“ _I could have said no_!” he shouted, startling her. “But instead I was the one who convinced everyone else that that was our best course of action.” He turned back to his reflection in the window, voice cracking with the rest of his composure. “I don’t know what’s  _wrong_ with me.” Rue reached out and carefully pressed her palm to his back, tracing small circles as he broke down, trembling as tears streaked down his cheeks. “I just wanted to come  _home._ ” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him when he choked on a strangling sob through gritted teeth, staring hard at the couch.  _I did this._ Slowly, she pulled him into a hug, locking her eyes on some point on the wall over his shoulder.  _What the hell is wrong with me?_

 


	36. Crumbling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i love you" by Billie Eilish

Rue practically peeled herself away from Eren’s tight hold in the morning, combing a hand through her hair and quickly getting dressed. She almost forgot to pack a back of clothes, remembering with a start that her training with Gladio started that afternoon. As she waited for her coffee to brew, she scrolled through the news on her phone, hoping for any news on the group of killer-children she’d been tasked with tracking down. There was nothing exciting but news that the weather was going to be heating up soon.

There was a shuffle behind her and she took a deep breath, tucking her phone away and contemplating how to greet the solemn man behind her. Eren had been back for three days, and still, he was quiet, contemplating, ever so cautious to tiptoe around her as if anything he said might set her off like a bomb. He’d been snappy and rude at some points, and at others, he was meek and apologetic. She wasn’t quite sure how to react anymore, and she most certainly had no idea how to help him get back to the way he was before this whole mess. All she could do was hope for the best, it seemed. Forcing a smile onto her face, she turned to face him.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” He yawned, brushing his hair out of his eyes and nodding toward the coffee pot. “Did you make any for me?”

“Yup.” She stepped forward to pull two mugs out of her kitchen cabinet. Honey weaved her way across Rue’s legs, purring.

“When do you think you’ll be home?” Eren asked tentatively; he looked anxious. Rue sighed, but not loudly enough for him to hear.

“I don’t know, probably around six. It’ll be a long day.”

For the past two days, she’d come home early simply because that’s what he wanted. She felt guilty forcing Ignis to take on everything alone, but he’d seemed understanding when she explained a bit of what Eren’s situation was. He even suggested speaking with Rayne to see what she could do for him, but that felt too pushy. She didn’t want Eren to know that she’d told anyone else about his episode. Today, she wasn’t going to baby him any farther. She was going to push through a whole workday, come home to force him out of bed, and drag him to dinner with Relir and Dex.  _It’ll be good for us,_ she told herself as she stirred her vanilla-flavored cream into her cup. In truth, she wasn’t sure what was good for them anymore. They were so afraid to lose each other that their entire relationship felt as though it was a constant back and forth of gentle pushes.

“Okay,” he sighed, falling into a seat at the breakfast bar and accepting his mug from her with a gentle nod. He’d forgotten his glasses in the other room; he was one of the few people she knew that looked  _older_ without them. “Shouldn’t you get going?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she huffed, checking the time and chugging down the rest of her scalding coffee. Quickly, she came around the other side of the counter and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Are you going to be alright by yourself all day?”

“I’m not a kid,” he scoffed, offering a slight smile. “I’ll be fine. I’m probably gonna head home just to get a few things, but I swear I’ll be back by the time you come home.”

“Don’t worry about that,” she shook her head, cocking it to the side. “Just as long as we’re not late enough to piss Relir off.”

“So we’ll be twenty minutes early?”

“Basically.” She hurried toward the door, tugging on her jacket and shoving her phone into her pocket. “Bye!”

With that, she was off. The walk was a blur, as usual, with nothing in particular to see other than bustling businessmen and hurried students. The guards let into the Citadel and she hurried up the stairs to Ignis’s office, breathing in the familiar air of her workplace. She would almost call the warm feeling in her chest comforting if it wasn’t for the many misfortunes that had also taken place under the same roof. Once in Ignis’s office, she quickly tugged off her jacket, hung it, and then hurried to his desk, palms pressed to the smooth wood and grin spreading across her face.

“I’m ready for a full, action-packed day!”

“You've been cooped up,” Ignis commented, eyebrow raised. “Is Eren feeling any better?” She sighed, shaking her head.

“I doubt it. He seemed pretty lively this morning, but I guess I’ll see how he’s feeling when I get back.”

“Understandable.” Ignis didn’t push any further, and Rue sincerely appreciated it. She didn’t want to have to explain why they were in this mess to begin with. “I’ll be sure to keep you busy, then.”

“I also have training with Gladio today at two, so don’t forget about that.”

“Of course not.”  _You’ve really got everything under control, don’t you?_ “I’ve scheduled everything around that.”

“How could you possibly know how long it’ll take me to do shit?”

“Averages of your performance,” he replied simply. Rue raised an eyebrow and he frowned. “It’s a simple method of—”

“Okay, fine, whatever.” She added “Fucking weirdo” under her breath. “What’s first?”

~|~|~|~|~

The end of the day arrived with exhausted muscles and tired eyes that had spent far too long staring at a computer screen. Rue called her goodbyes into Ignis’s office as she left, wishing him a good evening, and she hurried back to her apartment, praying that Eren was alright. He hadn’t texted her once, and she couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. What if he’d just fallen over and  _died?_ A drastic conclusion, but not an unreasonable one as far as he was concerned. When she opened the door, Eren was laying on the couch, holding his phone over his face as he stared up at the screen. She felt horrible about it, but she couldn’t decide if she was relieved or exasperated.  _He needs you right now, quit being such a bitch about it._ Right.

“Hey,” she greeted cheerfully, kicking off her shoes. “How was your day?”

“Eh, boring,” he shrugged, sitting up and tossing his phone onto the coffee table that was on its last legs after Honey turned it into her personal scratching pole. “I went home and got some clean clothes.”

“I see that,” she nodded, shedding her jacket and heading to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. She’d need the caffeine to survive the night. “And you showered.”

“How can you tell? Did I smell that bad?”

“No, your hair doesn’t look disgusting anymore,” she teased, shooting him a smile from across the room. He rolled his eyes and stood, coming to join her in the kitchen. “Ready for dinner with Dumb and Dumber?”

“Who’s who?” he asked, leaning back against the counter.

“Who do you think?” she huffed, resting her head on his shoulder. “I don’t think Relir even knows how to tie her own damn shoes.”

“That’s why she has Dex.”

“Exactly.”

Laughing quietly, he shook his head and watched the coffee slowly drip through into the pot. Rue couldn’t help but notice she felt suffocated as she stood there in the silence; the guilt tripled. What right did she have to feel awkward about the changes between them? Eren was the one who’d suffered, and she was supposed to be there for him. And yet, it seemed all she could do was think about herself.  _What’s new?_ Her chest was beginning to feel tight. Clearing her throat, she straightened and headed to her room to go get ready. She could feel Eren watching her.

By the time they left the apartment, she was feeling a little better. Eren had cracked a few jokes to lighten the mood as she got ready, proving to her that he wasn’t all mope and anger inside. She laced her fingers through his, adjusted her shirt, anxious without her usual jacket, and tucked her hair behind her ear. Eren pushed his glasses up and pointed down the sidewalk.

“Hey, isn’t that your friend?”

“Hm?” Rue realized she’d zoned out, praying that he hadn’t been saying anything important, and looking in the direction in which Eren was motioning. Prompto and Rayne were standing outside the very same coffee shop where Rue first ran into Gladio to convince him to let her have Ignis’s job.  _Things were so different back then…_ Shaking her head, she raised her hand and waved. Prompto’s face lit up in a grin and he waved back.

“Hey! How’s it goin’?!” he hurried over with Rayne in tow, who simply rolled her eyes and jammed her hand into the pocket of Arma’s baggy sweatshirt. “Takin’ a walk?”

“We’re going to meet some friends for food,” Rue shrugged. “What’re you up to?”

“I was taking some pictures and Rayne came with me for coffee.”

“Huh.” Rue eyed the cup in Rayne’s hand, trying to figure out what was inside (honestly, probably hard liquor), and Rayne stared at their clasped hands with an arched eyebrow. Eren looked around uncomfortably. “Get any good shots?”

“Not yet,” Prompto sighed, staring at the small screen on his camera. Rayne threw an arm around his shoulders, taking a drink from her cup.

“I’m sure you’ll find something eventually,” she reassured him, shoving him forward. “Have fun, lovebirds.”

“Will do,” Eren muttered, continuing on his way. Rue frowned up at him.

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’m just not a fan of how she’s been treating you.”  _How she’s been…?_

“If anything, she’s been nicer since we came back.”

“It’s condescending.”

“… Okay.”

She shook her head and let him lead the way to wherever it was that their friends wanted to have dinner. Her mind was numb, hardly able to process anything anymore. Everything always went from cheerful to grim, from exciting to solemn. The silence was filled by the hustle and bustle of the city. Eren was clearly content with it, so she kept her mouth shut. But something was bothering her… the sharp contrast of being with Eren and being with the Crownsguard. At this point, even work felt more like home than being around her… boyfriend? There was so much mystery and tip-toeing when it came to the two of them, but for the most part, hanging out with Prompto and Ignis and all them was her safe space. Her home had gone from a place of preferable solitude to a suffocating cove of stifling interactions and sharp words.

She was trapped, and she had no idea how to free herself.

~|~|~|~|~

“I’m stuffed,” Dex groaned, standing. Eren glanced behind him and headed off in the direction of the bathrooms without a word. Relir rolled her eyes and followed him.

“I’ll go make sure mopey’s coming back. Besides, I have to pee.”

“Have fun,” Dex muttered, scratching the back of his head.

Rue pulled on her jacket tiredly and led the way outside. Their meal was fine, full of laughter and memories, but there was a distinct lack of Eren’s voice in the conversation. His kind remarks and sarcastic replies simply ceased to exist and it showed. Outside, the lights of the city cast a dim glow across every surface, and as a result, created shadows as well. Rue stood inside one of these just outside the restaurant doors, joined by the hulking figure of Dex. He sighed, slouching against the smooth brick.

“How’s it going with you two? Really, I mean.”

“I don’t know. Not great.” Rue shook her head, shoving her hands in her pockets and staring at the ground. “He’s been… distant. And he gets these mood swings that are  _unbearable,_ but I really shouldn’t complain. He’s been through a lot.”

“You don’t have to be miserable just because he is,” he shrugged. Rue frowned.

“That’s the thing I can’t quite work out. I can’t be happy because he’s not happy and I don’t want him to feel like I’m leaving him behind. I don’t want to leave him behind. I just… don’t want to feel guilty for everything, I guess.”

“Guilty?”

“It’s hard to explain.” She glanced at the door to see if Eren had returned. “It’s just… I feel bad for feeling bad as if I have no right to be upset with him because he can’t help it.”

“I think he can help it,” Dex countered, eyebrow raised. Rue’s brow furrowed. “Eren’s a sensitive guy, sure, but no one’s ever suffered this much from a little bit of bloodshed.”  _Okay, first of all, wrong, but not the problem._

“Dex, did he… Did he ever tell you what happened out there?”

“Well, no, but I assumed—”

“They had to burn a hospital.” Rue shook her head, bending her knee to plant a foot on the wall. “As in an actual hospital with actual people and their families, not just the people that were fighting.”

“… Shit.”

“I guess they didn’t  _have_ to, but Eren said he didn’t feel like himself that day and he  _pushed_ for them to do it.” Suddenly, her mouth felt dry as she recalled the young man’s story from a few days before. “He says they killed a bunch of kids there, too.” Shaking her head, she finally looked up into Dex’s kind eyes. “He compared it to what happened to Ana, Dex. I don’t even know how he figured out her name, let alone—” She cut herself off, turning back to the street. “I just don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“I—”

“We’re back!” Relir announced, stepping outside. Eren followed her with slumped shoulders, glancing over at Rue before nodding toward the sidewalk. She nodded back, stepping away from Dex. “You guys headed home?”

“Yup,” Rue sighed, letting Relir force her into a hug.  _One of us is, at least._ Pulling away with a thin smile, she motioned to Dex with her eyes alone and stepped away, knowing the Relir understood.

With that, Rue took Eren’s clammy hand and headed toward her apartment with long, quick steps. She just wanted to go to bed. Her mind turned her thoughts over and over again. What  _was_ wrong with him? Even if he’d only learned Ana’s name in some passing conversation, what did he think gave him the right to bring up a subject she clearly hated simply to earn her pity? She chewed on her lip and stared straight ahead at the sidewalk, angered by the realization that that was fully feasible. Eren said nothing.  _But…_ Rue sighed as she entered the complex, running a hand through her wind-tangled hair. He only said it because he was hysteric. Dex was wrong; he really  _couldn’t_ help it.

“Tired?” Rue asked as she unlocked her door, glancing up at Eren. He didn’t turn away from the point he was staring at in the distance, nodding once.

Frowning, Rue pushed open her door and stepped inside, flicking on the lights. Eren shut the door behind him and took a deep breath. Uncomfortable in the tense silence, Rue pretended she couldn’t tell he was thinking and walked into the living room. She scoffed, forcing a smile and a light-hearted tone.

“What, are you trying to run my electricity bills high?” she joked, turning off the TV.

She folded up the blanket sprawled across the surface of the cushions and tossed it over the back, turning to see where Eren had gone. He hadn’t. Instead, he’d stayed right by the door, staring at the pile of shoes on the floor. Rue couldn’t understand why he was being like this, so quiet and pensive and closed off. What had happened between leaving the apartment and coming back?

“Are you okay?” Rue asked, genuinely worried. Eren finally looked up at her, but his eyes were dark and his body was tense.

“What did you tell Dex?” he demanded in a low voice. Rue stood in shocked silence for a moment, blinking at him. She couldn’t wipe the surprised look of her face.  _I didn’t think he could hear._

“What?” she stammered, swallowing hard.

“What. Did. You. Tell. Dex?” Eren snarled, hands curled into fists at his sides.

“I didn’t te—”

“Don’t lie to me!” he shouted, coming closer with quick steps that immediately put her on edge. “I heard  _everything_! What’s wrong with me, Rue?  _Seriously?_ You act like I’m a damn criminal living under your roof!”

“I do not,” she argued, crossing her arms uneasily. She tried to put up a defensive front. “I’ve been here every day to take care of you because I  _want_ you to feel better! Why does that seem like—”

“You know I’m not talking about that,” he snapped, towering over. Deliberately, she glowered up at him. “It’s the way you talk about me, to everyone. I saw the look on Rayne’s face when she saw us coming, and I’ve heard Gladio talking about my ‘sickness’ to the Glaives!” _I didn’t realize we’re so popular._

“Eren, I had to give Ignis a reason to come back. Illness won’t cut it with the guy, I can’t just—”

“So you told him everything?! How weak do you want everyone to think I am?” He threw his hands in the air, letting them fall back down into his hair as he took a step back. Rue relaxed just the slightest bit. “I get it. You didn’t make it into the Glaive and now you want to sabotage me because you’re jealous.” Rue’s face fell.

“ _What?_ Eren, why the  _hell_ do you think I give two shits about your success?” she demanded. “It’s great that you’re doing well, it really is. I’ve found something that works for me and I’m going about joining the Glaive my own way. That doesn’t mean I want to fuck with your career!”

“Why the hellare you telling people about it, then?”

“About what?” Rue shouted back, exasperated.

“What I told you the day I came back!”

“Oh my  _gods,”_ Rue groaned, rolling her eyes. “No one cares about your little meltdown, Eren.” Her reaction only served to piss him off further.

“Oh, really? Because from what I hear, it’s the talk of the damn Citadel.”

“When have you even gone back?” Rue snapped. “You sit in  _my_ living room every day  _moping_ until I come home to kiss you better.”

“I went back today,” he huffed. “And guess what? Everyone was there, telling me how shocked they were that I was already back with my ‘condition” you told them about.”

“I only talked to Ignis and Rayne, Eren!” Rue insisted. Eren rolled his eyes.

“Yeah okay.” He was fuming, inconsolable as he took a step closer, scowling down at her. “This way that you’ve ' _chosen_ ' to get into the Glaive? It’s a fucking pity favor. Once Rayne realizes that you won’t be able to find those kids, you’re through, you know that?”

“Why won’t I find them?”

Eren scoffed, forcing out a sarcastic laugh.

“You’re  _useless,_ Rue, that’s why.” Rue’s heart sank as his words plowed through her. “You can’t keep a job, you’re a shitty friend,  _hell_ _,_ you couldn’t even protect your own damn daughter because you were too busy fucking some dude off in a cave somewhere.” Her blood began to boil. “You complain about being weak but you don’t do anything but sit around and obsess over how skinny you could get if you weren’t drinking all the time.”

“Fuck off,” she bit back weakly, turning and heading to her room.

“And now you’re gonna go cry about it to a damn photograph, is that it?!” Eren called after her. “Whine to Ana about the problems that  _you_ created?!”

Rue’s nails dug into her palms as she turned to face him coldly.

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

“I’m not leaving,” he replied firmly. “Not a chance. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“Get. Out.”

“I said I’m not—”

“ _And I said get out!”_

A heavy silence hung between them as they stared each other down. Rue could feel her fingers begin to tremble as Eren sighed and started coming closer. She couldn’t bring herself to shout anymore, afraid that she’d already ruined the bond between them, unaware that it had dissolved long, long ago. It wasn’t salvageable. She shook her head when he reached out to hold her, stepping away as her lips began to tremble, ashamed. Eren sighed, grabbing her arm and jerking her into his chest.

“You don’t want to ruin another relationship with your blindness, do you?”

Rue broke down, tears spilling onto her cheeks and arms clasping the back of his shirt to pull him closer.  _Casper…_ Trembling, she shook her head. Honey rubbed against her calf, mewing loudly in protest to the noise.

“No,” Rue answered softly, pausing to catch her breath. “Don’t leave.”

“I can if you want—”

“No, stay. I mean it. I’m sorry.” She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling another wave of anguish wash over her. She began to cry again when she realized that there was more danger of losing him here than there ever was in Gralia. All because of her stupidity, her inability to realize what she’d done. Casper and Ana and now Eren… She couldn’t do anything but destroy people.

“Shh.” Eren pressed a kiss to the top of her head, rubbing his palm up and down her back. “I love you.”  _I know. I’m sorry._

Most might hope that that was the worst of it, that the storm had passed and all was well. But it wasn’t, and Rue found herself unable to hope any longer. She was numb. Numb when she woke up in the morning, numb when she received noise complaints from the night before, numb when she was at work, and numb when she came home to be screamed at. Every night, it was the same. She did something wrong or he heard something about her big mouth and he told her to shut up, this is why she wouldn’t ever be in the Glaive, Ana had it coming with a mother like her. Every night, she apologized and he forgave her, told her he loved her and didn’t want to hurt her like everyone else.

And she believed every last word.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new obsession with edited Peppa Pig videos on YouTube. Seriously, go watch one if you haven't already   
> Life-changing shit right there


	37. Whiskers on Kittens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hold Me While You Wait" by Lewis Capaldi

_~8 years before~_

_Rue tucked her hair behind her ear and twirled in the mirror, watching the puffy white dress swell and flare up dramatically. The top was too loose and there was a mysterious green stain on the back of the skirt, but otherwise, the gown was gorgeous. Behind her, a woman with cropped brown hair stood, hands clasped before her. Her ears adorned large clusters of pearls that matched the loop around her neck but Rue new they were only plastic beads._

_“What do you think, Aunt Kath?” she asked, her cheeks glowing pink as she smiled. Or perhaps it was the obnoxiously vibrant blush her aunt’s friend had applied. Kath swiped a tear off her cheaply tanned cheek and nodded._

_“You look beautiful, dear.”_

_“You think he’ll like it?” Rue’s face screwed up and she rubbed a smudged bit of pink lipstick off her cheek._

_“Casper? Of course he will. He’d **better,** or else you leave him alone at that alter, you hear me?”_

_“I know **Casper** will,” she sighed, placing her hands on her hips and cinching the material in with them. “I meant Dad.” Kath’s eyebrows drew together to reveal a line of wrinkles that had grown across her forehead caused by her tendency to worry about the slightest of details._

_“Darling, you know what your father thinks.”_

_“Yeah, yeah.” She sighed, touching the tight curls that were secured at the crown of her head. “But this is Mom’s dress, isn’t it? I thought maybe he’d like to see it again. Maybe he’ll be **proud**.”_

_“You know he resents me for stealing it?”_

_“It’s **your** sister’s.”_

_“It’s **his** wife’s.”_

_“He hasn’t seen her in eighteen years, anyway.” Rue bit down on her cheek and turned to face her aunt. “What happened to her, Auntie?”_

_“You know we can’t get into this—not now.” Kath’s red lips pressed into a thin smile and she rested her hand on Rue’s shoulder. “Just focus on today. Maybe your father will turn up after all.”_

_“He hates me.”_

_“No, of course he doesn’t.”_

_“Then why won’t he see me?” she demanded, turning to face Kath with a pout on her face._

_“He loves you, Rue, he does. But he also has a… sense of morality, if you will, that stops him from offering his full support.”_

_“It’s screwed up.”_

_“I know it is.” Kath pressed a thin hand to Rue’s stomach and laughed. “But he’ll be sorry when he sees this bundle of joy.”_

_“He’ll remember Mom and hate me even more.”_

_“Oh, Rue.” Kath shot her a motherly look. “Don’t do that. Who’s coming?”_

_“That I **know** of, it’s just my coworkers, a few cousins, and Casper’s friends.”_

_“His druggie friends?”_

_“I don’t know!” Rue cried defensively. When Kath raised a brow, she lowered her eyes to the floor. “Probably.”_

_“Well, I don’t mind as long as no deals are made.”_

_“I can’t stop them.”_

_“Rue, you aren’t using, are you?”_

_“ **Hell** no. Casper isn’t either—he just hangs with the wrong crowd.”_

_“Just be careful.”_

_“Yeah, yeah.”_

_They left the cramped dressing room in a hurry, Kath clutching the train of the dress to her chest and Rue lifting the skirt to awkwardly rush down the sidewalk to heels that were a size and a half too big. She could see the small crowd that had gathered on the park lawn; most were dressed casually. She smiled. At least she looked better than **that** group._

_“Alright, are you ready?” Aunt Kath asked. Just as the words were spoken, the scrawny boy at the keyboard began to play that infamous tune. Rue grinned and clutched her aunt’s elbow._

_“Of course.”_

_Rue turned her eyes forward to see Casper waiting at the end of the line of scattered flower petals. Quickly, her small audience turned, whispering to each other as she lifted her chin and proudly marched down the aisle. Her pale eyes flitted from face to face and she prayed as hard as she could that she would find the one she was searching for. Despite her careless attitude, she felt a lump gather in her throat when she couldn’t find him. She tried to swallow it, but it wouldn’t go down. Tears gathered in her eyes and she turned to her aunt, who smiled and patted her arm._

_“It’s an emotional day, dear. You’ll be alright.”_

_Rue choked, going numb. **Why do you hate me?**_

“Hey, Sweetheart. Long time, no see.”

Rue leaned back against the wall outside Ignis’s office, twirling a pencil around her fingers while she held her phone up with her free hand. Cam’s voice was just the same as it was weeks ago when she last saw him. She could only roll her eyes at the situation now, trying to make light of a heavy topic that still weighed on her mind daily.

“Yeah, well, you’re banned from entering the Citadel, so I’d hope so.”

“Me too,” he laughed. “So, what’re you callin’ for? Need some entertainment?”

“Not at all. I need some more info on that case you were working on,” Rue explained, watching the pencil turn over and over. “The one with the kids?”

“Why the hell do you need  _that_? I thought everything was a dead end.”

“The only dead end was your research,” Rue argued, irritated. “You didn’t do jack shit to flush out the files.”

“Oh, come on Darling. You didn’t think I’d actually make the stuff easy to find, did you?” Cam crooned, chuckling. “Listen, I have everything you need to know in my head.”

“Then hand it over.”

“Only if I can tell you in person.”

“Why? Do you have anything tangible?”

“No, I just want to see you.”

Rue sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers. A safe, public place was her best bet. Maybe she’d bring someone with. No, no, Cam wouldn’t like that.

“Fine, but I decide where we meet.”

She gave him the address of the nearest coffee shop and hung up before he could get any creepier. Heaving a sigh, she recomposed herself and entered Ignis’s office, shoving the pencil into the cup on his desk. The advisor glanced up, raising an eyebrow. She looked frazzled as she plopped into the chair before him, as she did often. Her eyes were darting about the room with anxious energy leaking from every fidget of her body. Frowning, Ignis pushed up his glasses and watched as she straightened upon seeing his gaze, though she refused to look him in the eye.

Rue had definitely changed since Eren returned. She was no longer lively and willing to speak her mind (for the most part); she obeyed orders without a fuss, forced smiles for Prompto, and hurried home without so much as a farewell. It made her visibly anxious to get out of work late. She’d kept up on her promise to ween Ignis off Ebony drinks, and by that, he meant that she stopped bringing them altogether, clearly preoccupied with whatever was on her mind. He jokingly commented on her cutting him off cold-turkey and she apologized immediately and nearly burst into tears right then and there. It wasn't that Ignis had trouble bringing himself coffee; it was just strange to see an old habit die so quickly in the wake of something no one could understand.

The other day, Prompto came into his office and sat down carefully, twisting his bracelets around and around until Ignis asked if he was there just to watch him work. Chewing his lip nervously, the blonde asked if Rue ever talked about him. Upon seeing the advisor’s confused expression, he explained that he felt he’d done something wrong to drive her away. Maybe she thought he was too weak after she saved him in Altissia or maybe she thought he was annoying. Ignis took the time to reassure him it was just Rue’s way of dealing with things at home before sending him off and sinking back into his chair with a sigh. Something was  _very_ wrong, and he knew it had everything to do with her troubled boyfriend.

Eren returned to work three days after he came home, accepting everyone’s congratulations with a bright smile. Every time the two passed in the following week, Rue’s face lit up and she’d hurry to go give him a hug or a kiss or tell him a joke. But it was an artificial light; her smile was big, but her eyes were empty, dull. He’d seen the way Eren would pull her this way or that to make her go where he wanted without a care for how Rue felt. When she’d pout, he’d tell her he loved her. She never said it back, merely smiling and hiding her face. It gave Ignis hope, in an odd way.

Ignis noticed all this and more, and yet, he couldn’t quite figure out how to go about fixing it. It wasn’t his place to get involved in her life, obviously, but he felt that if he could just get her to see how she was being molded and configured into some lifeless doll for Eren, then perhaps she would leave before it was too late to snap back to the shape of her former self. Sighing, he shook his head, dragged himself from his thoughts, and forced himself to speak to her.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, sitting up. “Just had to get a phone call out of the way.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Is there anything else you need? Gladio’s busy today, so we won’t be training.”

“… Have you beat him yet?”

“Is it possible to beat him?” Normally, she might have drawn out the middle of her sentence for emphasis or rolled her eyes, but she said the words robotically as if she couldn’t reach the emotion meant to be there behind them. Ignis felt the edges of a shudder creep into the muscles in his back. Everything felt wrong.

“Of course it is. We’ve all done it.”

“Great.” Rue sank back in the chair, crossing her arms. Finally, she looked up at him. The slightest bit of life had returned to her face. “Got any tips to spare?”

“Well,” Ignis replied, pushing up his glasses. He set down his pen and leaned forward, glad to finally have her attention. “He’s powerful but slow. Perhaps waiting for him to falter would be your best bet.”

“But that’s what I’ve been doing,” she sighed. “But every time I go to hit him, he kicks me or something.”

“Or something,” Ignis repeated under his breath. “He knows his own weaknesses. Don’t go in after he strikes, because he knows how to defend himself. Use your speed as an advantage to  _cause_ a true stumble, and then go for it.”

“I’ll try,” she muttered, but he could tell she already felt hopeless. The life faded, and, unable to control himself, Ignis rushed to bring it back.

“I have a more interesting task for you if you’re up to it.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I don’t think I have all the I need for dinner tonight, so I made a list.” Ignis tore a sheet of paper off the notepad to his right and handed it over. Rue took it, blankly looking over the neat handwriting. “Perhaps you have it in you to go to the store and retrieve these.”

“I don’t think the store down the street has these.”

“No, it likely doesn’t.” Ignis could already feel the disdain oncoming in his voice before he even spoke the name. “But you could drive Eren’s car to the large store, yes?”

“I…” Rue scoffed, glancing up at him over the edge of the paper. “Promise you won’t laugh.”

“At what?”

“Promise.”

“I won’t.”

“…” Rue sighed. “I can’t drive. I never got my license because I was too scared.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Ignis replied dryly, overcome with relief when her eyes sparked a flame and she grew defensive.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I’m not surprised.”

“Dick,” she whispered, thinking he couldn’t hear. He hid the slightest twitch of a smile. “Sorry, I’m useless. Do you have anything else?”

“I’ll take you.” He stood, grabbing his keys from his jacket pocket, and turned back to face her. She frowned, confused.

“Well, I don’t want you to waste gas on me just because—”

“I need the break,” he replied.

“ _Oh,_ you’re  _going with me_ , going with me.”

 _“_ … Yes.”

“Got it.” Rue stood and pulled her jacket on even though it was beginning to get quite hot outside, even for the spring. She paused, turning to face him. “Um, if you don’t mind, I need to grab a few things while we’re there.”

“Of course.”

“Sweet.”

He could hear her following him down the hallway as his shadow. His sulking, try-hard shadow. Sighing, Ignis nodded to Gladio in acknowledgment as he strode past. Gladio patted the advisor’s back in passing, greeting Rue with his voice instead of his giant hands. Ignis was relieved when they didn’t encounter Eren along the way to the garage, holding the door open until he knew Rue was through and heading toward his usual parking spot. His car’s lights flashed brightly when he unlocked the doors. It felt like he was just carting around another person; business as usual. Almost.

“I don’t think I’ve been this far into the city since before the Fall,” Rue murmured, peering out the window and watching rubble pass by.

“One of the top priorities of the city’s reconstruction was ensuring everyone had access to food immediately,” Ignis replied, keeping his eyes locked on the road. “Which, in turn, opened up trade with the rest of the world.”

“Another step toward unification,” she said distantly, recalling the events in Altissia. Ignis nodded and allowed the car to sink back into comfortable silence for the remainder of the drive.

They stepped outside the car and immediately the heat of the afternoon picked up and beat down on their heads. It was a good thing they were inside the city and not wandering the deserts around Hammerhead. Rue got a basket from the front of the store and followed Ignis to the fresh food, where he scanned the produce with his list in his hand. Rue followed dutifully, unsure of what was what. She hardly expected there to be this much variety in a world with so little left. Then again, things could change in two years, and they could change quickly; her life had proven to her that much.

“What’re you making?” she asked, feeling the weight of the several potatoes Ignis set into the basket wordlessly. He touched his glasses and glanced over at her.

“I thought perhaps I could prepare one of Noct’s favorites tonight.”

“Do you usually cycle through everyone’s favorites?”

“If I have the time.” Ignis piled a few mushrooms in as well. “Some of these ingredients I’m simply lacking at home, though.” He looked up from his list, turning to face her. “You said there were things you needed?”

“Oh, just some food so Eren doesn’t starve.” Ignis’s brows twitched inward.

“Of course. What were you looking for? Anything in particular?”

“Boxed pasta and eggs?” she replied, arching an eyebrow. If Ignis had it in him to express his feelings, she was certain he’d look appalled.

“That’s all you eat?”

“That’s all we know how to make.”

“Hm.” Ignis frowned, choosing between two types of tomato. “Then you’ll have to help me with dinner tonight. It’s simple enough.”

“Would you quit finding ways to insult my intelligence?” she snapped. He looked up at her sharply, startled by her reply, only to be twice as surprised by the half-hearted grin on her face. “Calm down, I’m teasing. Sure, I’ll help.” She puffed out a small laugh, feeling her arm grow tired. “Next you’ll teach me to drive.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Not inside the city, you mean.”

“I’ve had enough time as a driver’s instructor as it is,” Ignis replied, checking off the next box on his list. “Rice… Was there anything else you needed here?”

“Nope.” She could tell he was disappointedby the lack of vegetables in her diet. Honestly, she found the fact that he even bothered to care amusing. “Moving on?”

She followed him through the chilly store with the heavy basket in her hands, tossing in a few boxes of macaroni and cheese and shooting Ignis a look when he eyed them the wrong way. Finally, Ignis had everything on his list checked off. Rue sighed, following him toward the front of the store with a meandering stride. Suddenly, a colorful shelf caught her eye and she stopped, shooting Ignis a child’s pleading look when he turned to see where she’d gone.

“Hang on. Have you ever read the names of these things?” she demanded, catching the combined scent of all the candles before her. “They’re ridiculous.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever stopped for that reason, no,” Ignis replied. She rolled her eyes, taking one off the shelf and covering the label.

“I’m serious. Smell this.”

“Rue—”

“Smell it. I want you to tell me what this smells like.”

Ignis took a deep breath, shooting her an unamused look. Much to her surprise, he obeyed, lowering his face down to the open candle. He pulled away stiffly, frowning at the jar of purple wax.

“Well?”

“It smells like a sort of baked good,” Ignis frowned, not entirely enjoying her game. She snickered, turning the jar around.

“Apparently it’s ‘Whiskers on Kittens’ scented.” Ignis raised an eyebrow as she laughed, eyeing the label. “What  _is_ that?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Okay, okay. One more.”

“Rue.”

“Fine, you choose one.”

“…” Ignis was growing impatient, but he could tell she was genuinely enjoying herself. So, ignoring the sideways glances from the people around them, he plucked a jar off the shelf and held it out to her. Rue stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully, tapping her chin. Suddenly, her eyes lit up and she grinned.

“It smells like Midnight Blue.” Ignis frowned, looking down to see the exact same words printed across the front of the sticker on the glass. Rue laughed upon seeing his face. “Relir bought me that one for my birthday last year.”

“Did you mock her for the name?” he asked. Rue rolled her eyes, switching the heavy basket to her other arm.

“No, I said thank you and put it in my living room like a good friend.” She started toward the cashier, looking over her shoulder. “It's never been lit, though.” Ignis laughed to himself, shaking his head. What a strange, strange woman. 

 


	38. In the Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Romeo and Juliet" by Hobo Johnson
> 
> Warnings of bad, bad things from bad, bad people

“Keep the lid on the rice, Rue, or it’ll never steam.”

“How do you know when it’s done?” she huffed, stepping away from the pot on the stove.

Ignis sighed, chopping up the chickatrice meat he’d cooked minutes before and shaking his head. Knowing she wouldn’t get an answer, Rue slumped back against the counter and stared at her phone, waiting for a text from Eren. It never came. She took a deep breath and put her phone away. He’d be alright with her seeing her friends just this once. Curious, she turned back to Ignis’s cutting board, watching him multitask between shredding meat and stirring the sauce in the pan on the stove. She combed her fingers through her hair, glancing toward the living room where Rayne and Prompto were furiously tapping their phones in some bizarre game battle. Gladio and Noctis watched on, bored, but left with nothing else to do while they waited.

“Should I set the table?” she asked. Ignis glanced up, nodding.

“If you know how.”

“You’re so rude today,” she scoffed, taking an armful of wide bowls from the cabinet, quickly setting them all around the square wooden table. She just as easily set out the silverware and uncorked a bottle of wine. Rayne and Ignis both loudly protested her taking the first swig from the bottle before setting it at the table, but she flipped them off and carried on searching for glasses.

“Are you almost done?” Noctis called from the couch.

“Give me one moment more,” Ignis murmured, stirring in a pinch of salt before lifting the dishes off the counter and bringing them to the table. Rue wished he had a stupid apron to complete the look. Something with “Kiss the Cook” written across the front, maybe. But in a tasteful font, of course; it was for Ignis, after all. Maybe it needed a skull or two as well, just to really top it off. Ignis seemed to like those. Snickering to herself, Rue shook her head and followed him to the table, sitting between Gladio and Prompto.

“ _So,_ got any plans for the wedding?” Prompto asked with a grin, elbowing Rayne. She rolled her eyes, and much to Rue’s surprised, her cheeks began to redden. Noctis scoffed around a spoonful of rice, quickly chewing before he spoke.

“It’ll probably take another five years for them to get there.”

“Not true!” Rayne protested with her mouth full, coughing when she inhaled her food. Prompto laughed and Ignis shook his head, eyeing the king to make sure he was going to finish. Gladio was transfixed on his meal. Wrestling a smile, Rue lowered her head and pushed rice around her half-empty bowl before reaching toward her glass for a drink.

“Not one for a long engagement?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Rayne glanced up at Noctis and shook her head with a sigh.

“No one here’s been able to take it slow and that’s the way I like it.” Rue frowned, confused by her words. What was she alluding to? Ignis caught her eye when he took a drink from his wine glass and she raised an eyebrow. He looked away.

“Besides, it’s not like we didn’t see this coming from a mile away,” Prompto teased, grinning at Gladio, who flashed the slightest of smug smiles.

“Not before Caem,” he reminded them, glancing over at Rayne. She rolled her eyes. Rue wished she could demand to be let in on the inside jokes. She just didn’t understand.

“Yeah, when your dumb ass almost got Noct killed? Real  _genius_ you were to leave us behind,” Rayne retorted, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms.

“Made you miss me, though, didn’t it?”

“Shut up, Gladio. If anyone missed you, it was Noct.”

“Did  _not,_ ” Noctis huffed, though he was wrestling a smile. Ignis stood, lifting the empty dishes from the center of the table and returning them to the kitchen. Rue watched him leave in silence, wondering if he was struggling with the topic and the burden it held on his mind. Even when the past was still the past, it was difficult to bear. She understood that.

“ _Anyway,_ is it gonna be big? Huh?” Prompto threw an arm around Rue’s shoulder as she took another drink and she choked, startled. “A big, fancy wedding for the big, fancy protectors of the Crown?”

“What about Gladio screams ‘fancy’ to you?” Noctis demanded, eyebrows pinched together. Prompto shrugged.

“What about  _me_ screams ‘fancy’ to you?” Rayne scoffed, putting her chair legs back on the floor and scooping the last of her food into her mouth.

“Fine, fine,” Prompto sighed, holding his hands up. “It was just a suggestion.”

“If anything, it’ll be when Rayne’s drunk in some sketchy bar,” Noct huffed, grinning when he was shoved by the irate woman. Prompto laughed.

“Yeah! And Gladio’ll be all like, ‘Oh yeah, it’s time, baby. I  _loooooove_ you.’” Rue contained an eye-roll, standing and picking up her plate as the two laughed.

“When has Gladio ever talked like that?” Rayne demanded, leaning back when Rue came around the table to collect her dishes.

“He gets all mushy around you,” Prompto answered with a crinkled nose. “It’s, like, PDA city!”

Shaking her head, Rue headed into the kitchen with an armload of bowls and silverware. She set them in the sink, avoiding Ignis’s eyes as he scrubbed at his cookware, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. She grabbed the towel off the front of the oven and began the dry the growing pile of dishes to Ignis’s left. From there, she could still hear the others arguing and taunting each other, but the sound of clinking glass and running water drowned out any specifics. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her head and spoke in a quiet voice.

“Holding up alright?”

“Of course,” Ignis nodded, the slightest frown twitching into his face. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Before she could say anything else, the rest of the group trailed into the kitchen, crowding the open space.

“How’s training going?” Rayne asked, leaning against the counter beside her. She shrugged.

“Okay, I think.” She glanced over her shoulder at Gladio for confirmation. He nodded back. “I just suck at getting good hits in.” She couldn’t help but grin as she lowered her voice. “Got any tips?” Rayne laughed, shaking her head.

“Here’s the thing; the rest of us have been fighting together so long that it’s pretty easy to take him down if you’re strong enough.”

“Wrong!” Prompto cried, offended. “You and Iggy get an advantage.”

“Why’s that?” Rue frowned.

“They’ve been training together since they were  _kids!”_

“Okay…?” Rue looked back at Rayne. “So, what? My only hope is to spend years studying the guy?”

“Not exactly, but kind of?” Rayne shrugged. “You just need to figure it out. When it feels right, it feels right. Even that idiot has his moments of weakness.

“I’m not about to go easy on you,” Gladio chuckled. Rue rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I know.”

“You know who beats his ass  _almost_  every time?” Rayne asked, jerking her head toward Ignis. “Iggy.”

“Seriously?” Rue shot the advisor a pointed look. He merely arched an eyebrow. “Dude, I need your secrets.”

“I have none.”

“I  _doubt_ that,” she scoffed, wiping out the inside of a wine glass. “Listen, pal, I gotta get moving on this training business, and I’m not getting anywhere until I beat him.” Ignis frowned.

“That’s not—”

“ _Dude!”_ Prompto cried, launching himself over the island counter. Ignis scowled at him. “Sorry. But what if Rue and Iggy fought?!”

“What?” everyone demanded simultaneously, save for a certain someone who was still inspecting his kitchen counter for specks of dirt from a distance. Rue could feel her heart flutter in panic; that didn’t feel right. It was too close, too physical for comfort. She was used to keeping a comfortable distance and she preferred to keep it that way.

“Why not? The best way to learn someone’s technique is by studying it up close and personal!” Prompto turned to Rue, beaming triumphantly. “That way you learn how to fight Gladio.”

“Pretty sure I just need to be faster.”

“But how would you  _know?_ ”

“I think it’s actually a good idea,” Rayne shrugged, crossing her arms. “Besides, you can get out any pent-up aggression against the guy before you move to my care.”

“Pent-up…? I don’t have anything against him!” Rue insisted, glancing at Ignis over her shoulder. He was frowning at Rayne, though his eyes briefly met hers. They were in agreement.

“I’m serious, Iggy,” Rayne insisted. “Help the girl out.”

“I don’t think it’ll help,” Rue huffed. Rayne ignored her.

“She needs to beat him to get into the Glaive—”

“Hey, that wasn’t the deal—!”

“And you can help her with that.”

“Why can’t she learn on her own?” Ignis asked, raising an eyebrow. Rue nodded eagerly in agreement.

“Did you learn on your own?”

“I’ve had some base—”

“Shut up,” Rayne snapped, looking back at Ignis when Rue shot Prompto a look. He shrugged sheepishly. “If you’re scared of how easy it’ll be, just say it. There’s no way in hell she’ll beat you, Specs.” Ignis stared at her wordlessly until she sighed, exasperated. “Fine, don’t hurt her feelings. You’re doing it, though. Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Rayne, I didn’t—!”

“Zip it.” Rayne raised her eyebrows, shooting Ignis a stern look and repeating herself. “Tomorrow afternoon.” Ignis’s jaw worked as his thoughts did, his eyes locked on hers until he finally sighed, giving in just as she knew he would.

“Fine.”

“Seriously?!” Rue cried in disbelief. Prompto threw a fist in the air, cheering.

“A betrayal!”

“He’s still a softie,” Gladio chuckled, uncapping a beer. Rue had no idea where he kept retrieving the drinks from; half the time it seemed he was pulling them from thin air.

“You’re just adding more stress to my week,” Rue huffed, drying her hands on the towel and running her fingers through her hair. It was getting too long; she’d have to give it another chop soon. Rayne rolled her eyes, cocking her head to the side.

“What’s wrong with your week?”

“I have to get working on that case with those kids,” she sighed, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, uncomfortable at all the attention directed at her. “I set up a meeting time with Cam since he seems to know more than he recorded, so that’ll be interesting.”

“You’re meeting up with  _Cam?_ ” Rayne stated in disbelief, her eyes wide. Rue frowned, seeing the same base reaction from everyone else.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Do you want someone to come with you?” she asked in a low voice, brow creased in genuine concern. Rue felt her heart begin to spike with fear. What did they know? She looked up at Ignis, who refused to look back.  _What did you tell them?_ As far as she knew, they’d only been told the vaguest details of what happened.

“No? Guys, seriously, why are you looking at me like that?” she demanded, laughing nervously.

“Well…” Prompto started, hesitating. “Didn’t he, like, hurt you the last time he was around?”

“Hurt her? He beat the shit out of her and then took advantage of her!” Rayne snapped. Rue felt her face go red and her palms get clammy.  _Did he_   ** _show_** _them?_ She thought she was going to throw up as a cold sweat broke out across her skin.

“I’ll be fine.” There was something strange in her voice that told them all to forget about it. Gladio shot Rayne a look and she shut her mouth bitterly, at least on that subject. Shaking her head, she pulled the elastic out of her long hair and ran her hands through to comb out the knots.

“How’s Eren doing?”  _The second worse topic._ Rue sighed; she’d honestly rather tell them about her days as a prostitute in great detail than talk about the source of her misery—misery she had no right to feel. Still, everyone seemed to perk right back up at that topic, save for Noctis, who was very invested in whatever was on his phone screen.

“He’s alive,” she sighed, staring hard at the floor. “I don’t…”  _Should I even say this?_ She could just imagine the insults he’d throw at her if he found out she was talking about him again. Oh well; it wasn’t like he’d stop yelling even if she  _did_ stay quiet. “I don’t know if he’s getting any better,” she admitted, chewing on her lip. “There’s just a lot of things he needs to deal with that I can’t help him with.”

“Like what?” Gladio frowned. Despite the caution in her choice of words, he picked up on what was between the lines.  _Perks of being a bookworm,_  she supposed. “He’s still caught up on the hospital?”

“Yeah…” Rue swallowed hard, stuttering as she forced her next words past her lips. The ones she wanted wouldn’t come and she quickly replaced them before anyone could notice. She was too late. “He, uh, compares it to some things I’ve gone through and I don’t think it’s a healthy way of coping.” Ignis’s brow creased as he frowned, finishing up the dishes and drying his hands.

“Ana?” Rayne asked softly. Rue was surprised at how easy it was to nod.

“Yeah.”

“What do you mean by ‘coping?’” Prompto asked carefully. Rue shook her head.

“Maybe that wasn’t the right word.”

“Well, how is he coping?” Rayne pressed, digging deeper to uncover what it was that caused the sudden change in her demeanor.

Rue knew that it would feel so  _good_ to get it all off her chest, to lay it out for everyone to see and to understand. But she knew she couldn’t do that, not for Eren and not for herself. It was selfish; this was temporary. It would pass. There was no point in drawing attention and blowing things out of proportion. She shrugged, feigning indifference.

“Secluding himself, I guess. He doesn’t think I understand, and maybe I don’t. I guess I’m just waiting for him to figure it all out.” Rayne and Gladio exchanged a look and Ignis continued to face away from her. “It’s no big deal,” Rue rushed. “Really, I make it sound worse than it is.”

“And you guys are… doing okay?”

“What…?” Rue cleared her throat, nodding. “Oh, yeah. We’re fine. It’s just a bump in the road, that’s all.” Rayne’s face asked her if she was sure and Rue’s eyes screamed that she wasn’t. Noctis cleared his throat, looking up and tucking his phone away.

“So, who’s taking me back?”

“You need to start driving yourself,” Gladio huffed, ruffling the king’s hair. “Me ‘n Rayne’ll get you. That way, Iggy can get a break.”

“I’m perfectly fine taking him on my own,” Ignis replied, arching an eyebrow. It was as if nothing was wrong just moments before. “I have to take Rue regardless.”

“I can walk,” Rue shrugged, heading toward the door to grab her jacket. Rayne shook her head adamantly.

“No. We’ll take everyone home. We’ve got the space.” She rested her hand on Ignis’s back, trying to meet his eyes. He pretended to be busy with his sleeves. “You get some rest. Thanks for dinner, by the way. That was some good shit.”

“Hell yeah,” Noctis agreed, nodding toward Ignis. “Thanks, Specs.”

“Of course,” came a stiff reply.

Rue tugged on her jacket and her shoes, mulling over the evening. Suddenly, she remembered the conversation about Cameron and pressed her lips together.  _Should I even bother?_ Her heart felt crushed in her chest and she took a deep breath to ease the ache. She was tired of being trampled; she needed to talk to him. Gladio found his car keys in his pocket and opened the door. Rue hurried to his side and glanced back at the kitchen before meeting his eyes.

“I have to talk to him about something. I’ll be quick.”

“Okay,” Gladio nodded, understanding. He jerked his head toward the doorway and everyone quickly filed out. Ignis busied himself putting the dishes away as Rue walked back over, wringing her hands.  _I don’t want to do this._

“You aren’t going with them?” Ignis asked, keeping his back turned to her.

“I am, I just…” She buried her hands in her pockets, gnawing on her cheek. Her heart was throbbing.  _What’s wrong with me?_ She swallowed hard, parting her lips to speak.  _I don’t want to do this._ “What… did you tell them? About Cam, I mean?” Ignis sighed, pausing at the sink and pressing his palms to the smooth counter.

“I… didn’t mean for them to see anything. However, Noctis needed to see the footage in order for a decision to be made and everyone was so eager to remove Cameron from his office.”  _So you showed them…?_ Rue felt disgusting and disgusted, staring at his hunched back in disbelief. “I never intended for them to see.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that they did,” she snapped, hurt. “Ignis, that’s not something I wanted  _anyone_ to see, ever!”

“And I apologize,” he insisted, staring hard at the base of the sink. Her words dug their fangs deep into a guilt she didn’t know he carried. He’d hoped for so long that no one would mention the terrible things Schrader had done to her; it seemed he’d been too optimistic with a friend like Rayne. “I’m… ashamed that I didn’t take measures to ensure your privacy.”

“You’re  _ashamed?”_ Rue repeated, hands balling into fists. The anger in her voice was clear and Ignis suddenly felt defenseless, as though nothing he could say would convince her that he was truly sorry. Sighing, he finally turned to face her, prepared for her attack. “ _You?!_ That’s  _me_ in that video!  _Me_ being too weak to protect myself, too stupid to realize what was going on, too… Too…” Ignis’s guilty conscious jabbed him again as she choked on her words, tears welling up in her eyes. Another source of pain to beat her down into the dirt… She swallowed hard, choked. He didn’t know what to do.

“I’m not sure what else to say,” he admitted, pushing his glasses up. He wasn’t sure why he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I’m sorry, Rue.” She shook her head, turning to look at his living room in an effort to hide her tears. Finally, she took a deep breath and nodded.

“I’m… I’m sorry, too. I’m being too hard on you. You helped me. Thank you.”

“I should have tried to—”

“No, you did what you could.” Rue turned her eyes back to him, quickly looking down at the floor. “I didn’t mean to be a bitch about it. I…” Ignis frowned as she choked up again. “I’m so sorry.”

“Rue, you weren’t—”

“No, just…” She wiped her face roughly with the sleeve of her denim jacket. “I’m gonna leave now. Goodnight.” She turned on her heels and hurried out the front door before he could decide what to do, standing in stunned silence as the door slammed.

“… Goodnight,” he murmured, uncertain as to why the words left his mouth after she was long gone. 

Rue let her hair shield her splotchy face as she climbed into the backseat of the car, though she knew the others could tell she’d been crying. Prompto was wedged between her and Noctis, and wordlessly, he rested a hand on hers as the lights dimmed; she took hold gratefully, chewing her lip as she tried to keep the waterworks contained. Rayne watched them in the rearview mirror, bold enough to be the first to break the silence.

“You all good?”

Rue nodded, gnawing on her lip. Rayne gave Gladio an affirmative nod and he back out of the driveway and sped down the streets. The sun was nearly gone, leaving only illuminated clouds overhead.  _What’s Eren going to say when he sees me like this?_  She clutched Prompto’s hand tighter as another lump rose in her throat. She prayed that he would understand; maybe he’d even spare her the lecture tonight and hold her while she cried about the whole ordeal. She took a deep breath, staring out the window guiltily.  _Ignis didn’t deserve that. I’m becoming Eren…_ A horrible, inconsiderate thought. It made her feel even worse.

Finally, Gladio pulled into the apartment complex’s parking lot. Everyone muttered goodbyes as she climbed down and uttered her thanks before hurrying inside, running the heel of her hand across her cheek as she rushed toward the elevator. Her heart sank as she reached toward the doorknob, twisting to find it unlocked.  _Why won’t he **leave?**_ Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and stepped inside, kicking off her shoes. Eren stood waiting by the entrance like an angry mother, arms crossed. She bit down on her tongue to keep from losing it.

“Where were you?” he demanded.

“I had dinner with the Crownsguard,” she mumbled, staring at the floor. She tried to walk past and he grabbed her arm, jerking her back in front of him. She swallowed hard, anxious to get this over with.

“Yeah, right. Forgot you can’t do anything but hang around those damn idiots.”

“They’re not—” Rue cut herself off when she looked up to see his piercing eyes.  _This isn’t Eren,_ she told herself. She didn’t believe it. “It’s the first time I’ve hung out with them since Altissia. I just thought I—”

“You just thought,” he repeated with a scoff, shoving her back a step when he let go of her arm. “You were just thinking about yourself, like always. It’s always about what  _you_ want, isn’t it?”

“I’m sorry,” Rue frowned, flinching when he uncrossed his arms, old instincts overtaking new ones. He only snorted.

“Pathetic,” he huffed. “Why can’t you think about someone else for once, huh? What’s so important about them that you can’t leave them for one night to see me?” He snapped, as though he’d come to a realization. “Oh, wait! Probably because you’re sucking them all off to keep your job, is that it?”

“Eren, what…?” she started, feeling the pain from his insult immediately. “I’m not doing anything like that! Are you  _kidding_?”

“What, that’s too far for you?” he snapped. “Rue, you’re a  _whore_ _”_ She trembled as she felt tears spill over her lashes and trail down her cheeks. “You slept your way up with that tool Schrader and now you’re fucking Ignis to take the edge off the job. Gods  _know_  he needs it.”

“Eren, I’m not—!”

Before she could say anything else, he turned on his heels and headed further into the apartment, tugging at his hair. She followed, gritting her teeth together in an effort to get herself under control.

“Eren!”

“What, Rue?!” he shouted, turning to face her. “What the helldo you want from me?!” She stood in stunned silence, unable to speak. “I can’t keep doing this! Knowing that you’re sleeping around behind my back when I can’t do anything to help myself—”

“I’m not sleeping around!” she yelled back, fists balled at her sides. Eren’s eyes flashed with rage and she immediately backed down, frightened as he stormed towards her. She stepped back to get away, nearly toppling over when her leg hit the coffee table. He grabbed hold of the collar of her jacket, jerking her forward.

“Why the hell are you still wearing this fucking thing, huh?” She didn’t answer and he shook her. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Huh?! Answer me!”

“I don’t know!”

“It’s because you’re  _fucked_ _in the head,”_ he practically screamed into her face. He lowered his voice and it was arguably more terrifying to hear him snarling into her ear than it was for him to raise his voice and throw her around. “You’re sick and twisted, Rue. This is a fucking _trophy_  from your last lover. Y’know, the one you stabbed in the back?  _Literally_?” She shuddered at the feeling of his breath on her neck. “I wouldn’t expect you to know a damn thing about living honestly, so just admit it. If you’re not fucking him, you’re blowing him at his every command.”

“I’m not,” she insisted, her voice just barely over a whisper. An animalistic growl rose from Eren’s throat and he threw her onto the couch, turning on his heels and heading to the bedroom.

“Fuck this.”

“Eren?” She sat up, watching him go, panicked. “Eren?!”

She leaped to her feet and followed him. With horror, she realized what he was reaching for, but she couldn’t move quick enough to stop him. He held Ana’s photo over her head, stomping toward the kitchen. Panicked, she ran after him.

“Eren, wait!”

“You know what you need, Rue?” he demanded, smashing the frame on the counter and ripping the photograph from the shards of glass.

“Eren!”

“You need to let this stupid little shit  _go.”_

A flame flickered on the end of the lighter and he held it close to the edge of the photo, glaring down at her. His elbow lifted and smacked her in the nose when she reached to snatch the picture from his hands. Clutching her face as blood poured from her nostrils, she stretched her hand back out, sobbing. Ana’s beautiful smile melted away as she flames ate up her face, turning her to ash.

“ _Eren!”_

“She’s getting in the way!” he insisted, holding it high above her head as she cried, each sob tightening her body around itself as the agony intensified. His face melted into an expressionless, cold mask. “You’re still stuck on the past. Just let it go.”

“ _You_ let it go!” Rue screamed, pressing a hand to his chest and shoving. He gripped her wrist, scowling.

“ _Don’t touch me.”_

“ _I’ll do what I want_!”

“Fine.” He threw the burned photograph into the sink and walked away. Rue lunged toward the basin, fanning the flames out. It was too late; there was nothing but soot. She turned when she heard Eren by the door, pulling his shoes on. Quickly, she rounded the corner, tasting the coppery warmth of the blood on her lips. “Where are you going?”

“I need space until you calm down,” he stated calmly.

“How long?”

“Until you can prove you’re done.” Fear flooded her entire body as he headed back to the living room to retrieve his jacket. Desperate, she followed him.

“No, please, don’t leave.”

“Why not? You did the same to me.”

“Eren, please,” she begged, grabbing his arm. He shrugged her off.

Wrecked, she sank to the floor, staining the carpet with the blood on her hands. Suddenly, she got an idea, willing to do anything to fight the loneliness that was already threatening to swallow her whole.

“Eren!” She scrambled to her feet, wrapping her arms around his waist as he gripped the doorknob, pressing her cheek to his back. Her whole body shook with her trembling breaths. “Please.” The words came easily in her desperation to keep what felt like her only friend, the only person who knew her, her world. “I love you.”

Eren stood still, and for a moment, she thought he would stay. Then he wrenched out of her grasp, throwing the door open.

“No, you don't.”

“ _Eren!”_

Rue felt another wave of sobs overcome her as he left, leaving the door open. Her heart stopped when she saw someone standing there through her bleary vision, stunned into a momentary calm as their eyes met. Prompto stared wide-eyed at the blood streaked across her face, her shirt, her hands, holding her phone in his hand. Rue swallowed hard, finding it difficult to speak.

“How much… did you hear?” she asked, voice broken and raw. He didn’t answer, looking at Eren’s back as he left. “Is Rayne waiting for you?” Yet again, he didn’t speak, turning back to her.

Finally, Prompto stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her shaking body. She melted, all resolve dissipating as she was comforted. The tears came and they wouldn’t stop, washing the crimson smudges from her cheeks. Her sticky hands clutched the back of his shirt as though he was her only source of life and her breaths caught on body-rattling hiccups. Prompto didn’t move, holding fast. She shook her head, finally opening her eyes to look over his shoulder.

“I fucked up, Prompto.”

“No, you didn’t do anything.”

“No, I…” She swallowed hard. “I fucked up.”

“… What did you do?”

“I…” She couldn’t think as her head throbbed, and so she repeated herself in a murmur. “I fucked up.” Prompto shook his head.

“Rue, he’s an ass. You didn’t do anything.”

She shook her head, closing her eyes and clinging tighter as they rocked side to side slowly.  _He just doesn’t get it._ Taking a trembling breath, she tucked her head under his chin, unable to feel guilty for keeping the king himself waiting in the parking lot of a cheap apartment complex.  _I really did fuck up this time._

 


	39. Sensible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You and I" by We Three

“Morning.”

Ignis looked up at the sound of Rue’s greeting and noticed immediately that she was hiding her face with her sleek black hair as she hung her jacket. She took a moment to breathe before turning to face him, tucking her hair behind her ear. Instantly, his mouth went dry. His eyes couldn’t help but lock on the poorly concealed bruise in the center of her face, a blue-green patch on the bridge of her nose. She obviously didn’t want him to comment even though she knew he could still see it.

“Good morning,” he replied.

His voice held no emotion and he hated it. Taking a deep breath, he returned to staring down at his notebook where he was trying to piece together the notes on the last meeting she went to in his place. Still, his mind toyed with that image of her face. Something that felt like anger burned in his chest and he couldn’t quell it. Nothing would ever help him understand what was wrong with that man.

“Got anything interesting for me?” she asked, trying her very hardest to sound upbeat. Ignis wished he could cringe at the sound. Instead, he took a deep breath and forced himself to look her in the eye.

“Nothing much, I’m afraid. We’re caught up.”

“Really? That’s good to hear,  _but_ I’m not about to be run out of my job before it’s over.”

“You won’t be,” he replied stiffly. “I’m sure something will come along.”

“Right.” She sat down, crossing her legs and smoothing her skirt. She huffed a small laugh and he looked up, eyebrow arched. “Ready for the  _big fight?_ ” He sighed, sitting up straight.

“I suppose I hoped you’d forget.”

“Never,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You think  _Rayne’ll_ forget? No way in  _hell_ we’ll be that lucky.” Ignis allowed a smile and shook his head in agreement, glancing back down at his notebook. “You better not go easy on me.” He looked back up. “I’m serious. I don’t care how badly you beat my ass.”

“I’ll try my hardest,” he assured her, though he knew he was lying. “When’s your meeting with Cameron?”

“Tomorrow morning,” she sighed. She paused, nervously tugging at her shirt. “I hope that’s okay. I guess I didn’t let you know I’d be missing work for an hour.”

“It’s fine.” He closed his notebook, unable to concentrate, and turned to his computer screen, hoping to find anything to keep him busy. Hopefully, she’d leave out of boredom to speak with Prompto or Gladio.

He clicked on the webpage he’d pulled up the day before for a recipe to see if he could improve their dinner, catching sight of a flickering ad in the corner of a cat in a birthday hat.  _Whiskers on kittens…_ Rue’s laughter filled his ears and he looked over to see what was so funny. She was on her phone, deadpan. She hadn’t made a sound. Ignis frowned; he was beginning to lose his mind.

“Hey, losers!” Rayne cried, throwing his office door open at exactly noon. Rue sighed, stopping her dusting and shooting Ignis a look. He looked up at Rayne tiredly when she waltzed into the room, plopping down on the edge of Ignis’s desk and flicking his forehead. “You know what time it is, doncha?”

“Enlighten us,” he replied dryly. She rolled her eyes and put her feet back on the floor, pressing her elbows to the wood and leaning into his face.

“Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“That.”

“He’s being Iggy,” Rue retorted, eyebrow raised playfully. Ignis’s mind struck alarm bells; the nickname was a foreign sound from her. He was irritated that  _that_ was what caught his attention so easily.

“When is he not?” Rayne huffed, straightening. “I’m serious, let’s go. Rue, go get changed.”

“Aye, aye,” she sighed, grabbing a backpack that Ignis recognized from her training with Gladio and leaving the room. Rayne turned to face Ignis, arms crossed.

“I know you’re already planning to be nice, but I  _really_ want you to kick her ass.”

“And why would I do that?” he asked, frowning. She sighed, shaking her head.

“Ignis, putting her down gives her drive.”  _Not lately, it seems._ “She thrives off failure.”

“Does she?”

“Are you okay?” she demanded, cocking her head to the side. “I mean, really. Are you just not getting enough sleep?”

“I’m fine,” he answered curtly, standing and brushing past her to head toward the training room.

Rue entered the room a few minutes later, tugging at her tight shirt uncomfortably. Only Rayne and Gladio stood in the room; Prompto was mysteriously missing. Ignis frowned, eyeing Rue’s pale, thin arms. She looked as though she could hardly lift a book, though he knew otherwise. Her hair was pulled out of her face, for once, calling even more attention to the nasty bruise between her eyes. Rayne seemed to ignore it all too easily, and he wondered why she chose to do so instead of picking a fight. He stuck a pin in the thought and saved it for later.

“Real weapons?” Rayne teased, elbowing Gladio.

“Dude, I use  _bullets,”_ Rue huffed, rolling her eyes. Rayne snorted.

“You’re assuming you’d be able to land a shot.”

“Of course I will.”

“Rue, Honey,” Rayne scoffed, crossed her arms proudly. “The only person that’s been able to shoot him in this room was my brother, and he was a  _master_ gunman _;_ there’s no hope for you.”

“Bring it on, bitch,” Rue bit back. Rayne laughed.

“You heard her, Iggy. Go on.”

Ignis frowned, feeling the comfortable weight of his daggers in his hands. This felt like a sick game Rayne was playing with him, pushing him into a situation that was clearly uncomfortable. Toying with him. With  _them_.

Rue summoned her sword to her hand, creeping closer. He saw her first move long before she made it, swinging at him slowly just to gauge his reaction speed. He blocked the blow easily, stepping out of the way with a stride far longer than hers.  _This is pointless._ Her eyes set with determination, Rue rushed at him this time, swinging much quicker. Ignis almost felt guilty at how easy it was to parry each strike, stepping past her and knocking her to her stomach with a single tap of a hilt on her back.

“Too easy,” Rayne taunted. Rue gritted her teeth and rolled to her feet, ready for more. She was getting riled up, reckless. Ignis wasn’t sure what to do next.

Rue rushed at him before he had a chance to think further, moving much quicker than before. Still, he blocked every strike. Guiltily, he allowed her one brush of her sword along his forearm before his daggers glittered with frost and he swung them at an arm’s length, blasting her with frozen wind. Finding herself coated in a thin layer of ice, she shuddered, shook it off, and ran at him again. He made it all look too easy, blocking and rolling and rarely striking back. She was frustrated to no end.

“Iggy,  _hit her_ for fuck's sake,” Rayne groaned. Gladio elbowed her, shaking his head. She glared at him.

Rue rushed at him a third time, though she’d learned to surprised him with a new direction. Unfortunately, she also would give that direction away with the slightest flicker of her eyes, and he knew exactly where to defend. Ignis took a deep breath before going on the offensive, having had enough of this nonsense. Rayne's heckling began to fray his nerves. Rue hardly had time to think as he quickly slashed at her, just barely raising her sword in time to protect herself from the attacks. Narrowing his eyes, he decided for good that he was ready to be done and preoccupied her with another sweep of ice before step around her side and pressing the sole of his shoe to her bony back.

Rue toppled to the floor weightlessly, rolling over to avoid being struck when he made a false attack toward her head. Pushing up his glasses, he heaved a sigh and pressed a knee to her sternum, dagger pressed ever so delicately to her throat. She slammed a boot into his chest, knocking him back, but not down. This time, Ignis pinned her properly, brow furrowed as she struggled beneath him. When she stilled, their eyes met. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he was subconsciously expected something like the storybooks, where her gaze would soften, he’d lose his breath, and they’d have an awkward moment of intimacy before they blushed and turned away.

But that wasn’t reality. Her eyes, icy and pale as they were, were red hot with rage. Taken aback, Ignis allowed her to shove him back. He stood slowly, blinking at her blankly when she shoved his chest with a sweaty palm.

“What the  _hell_ was that?” she demanded. Everyone in the room stood in stunned silence as Rue fumed, pushing him again. “Didn’t think I could tell you were fucking babying me?!”

“I didn’t—” he started.

“Didn’t think I could take it?” She crossed her arms, throwing a hip out to the side. “I only asked one thing of you, Ignis, and it was that you take me seriously.”

“I did,” he replied sourly, irritated at her sudden shift in mood. Her accusing eye roll nearly sent him over the edge. “I considered your abilities and your skill level and I adapted.”

“You fucking adapted,” she repeated with a scoff. “To what, fighting a mushroom? I’m not stupid, Ignis.” Before Rayne could get a full sentence out, Ignis found himself speaking again with a sharper tone.

“You’re hardly able to defend yourself, now are you?” he demanded. “What did you expect, for me to kill you? The entire reason you’re training with  _Gladio_ is to learn to fight so I don’t  _have_ to protect you and attack at the same time.” Rue’s scowl remained but something shifted behind her eyes—something that looked an awful lot like pain. Gritting her teeth, she turned on her heels and headed for the doors.

“I don’t need a damn protector.” With that she was gone, leaving nothing but the thud of the doors behind her. Before Ignis could piece together what just happened, Rayne pounced, storming toward him. He backed away before she could hit him, which he honestly feared she might attempt.

“What the  _hell_ _?!”_ she shouted, choosing instead to grab his shoulders and jerk him closer. “That was so fucking uncalled for, Ignis! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Ignis frowned, uncertain why she’d been set off as well.

“I didn’t think she could handle—”

“This isn’t about the fight,” she snarled, glowering up at him and yanking him down the mere two inches that separated their heights.  _What?_ “Why the hell would you say that? First, you start moping around and refusing to talk to people, then Rue comes back from your place on the verge of having a fucking emotional breakdown in the backseat of my car, and now you’re saying she’s a helpless child  _to her face.” Emotional breakdown?_

“I don’t…” Ignis words trailed off and he looked over at Gladio, who sheepishly rubbed that back of his head.

“Rayne,” he spoke up, brows knit together. “I don’t think he knows.”

“What don’t I know?” Ignis demanded, yet again caught out of the loop. Rayne’s face softened with realization and she immediately let him go.

“Shit…”

“What?” Ignis snapped, his patience worn out. Rayne glanced at Gladio. “Rayne.”

“Did… Prompto not talk to you?”

“I haven’t seen him. Why?” Ignis couldn’t fathom what  _Prompto_ had to do with this.

“Last night…” Rayne shook her head, sighing. “Rue forgot her phone in my car, so I told Prom her apartment number and he ran up to give it to her. Takes him, like, thirty minutes to come back and at that point, I’m ready to leave him.” Ignis frowned, trying to fill in the blanks before she was finished. “He… came back covered in blood, Iggy.” His heart sank. “Said he got there and heard Rue and Eren screaming and fighting and it sounded like they might’ve been getting pretty physical.” She shrugged, eyeing the shiny floor. “He said Eren threw open the door and ran off and she was standing there crying,  _covered_ in blood. I guess he hit her in the nose and it just got everywhere.”

“It shook Prom up,” Gladio added, crossing his arms. “We really had to push him to hear what happened. Noct eventually got it outta him.”

“Eren  _hit_ her?” Ignis repeated, going back through the story in his mind. Gladio sighed, scratching his beard.

“That’s what it sounded like.”

“Prompto also said that Rue wouldn’t stop saying she fucked up, over and over again,” Rayne frowned, hands resting on her hips. “I… don’t know what that means.”  _She’s been manipulated._ Rayne shook her head with a sigh. “I know it’s not our place to snoop around about that kind of shit, but Eren… I just don’t know. She needs to realize it’s time to leave him behind.”  _She can’t._ “And  _you_ need to go apologize,” she added sternly. “Now.”

“Don’t have to tell him twice,” Gladio grumbled smugly as Ignis turned to leave.

As he walked down the hall, Ignis was lost in his head, mulling over what Rayne had just told him. His words really had dug deep, then, if she had connected them to the night before. He was an idiot for saying such things to her anyway. She’d been rightfully angry both times she’d gone off in the past twenty-four hours. He slowly sat in his desk chair and waited restlessly for her to return.

Rue finally opened the door, still turning his words over and over in her head.  _Too weak to defend myself, hm?_ She briefly brushed her fingers over the tender mark on her nose and sighed.  _It would seem so._ Ignis looked up so sharply that  _she_ felt startled upon entering, pausing in the doorway for some unknown reason. He was clearly waiting for her to enter, though, and so she did, shutting the door behind her.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier,” Ignis spoke up, straightening in his seat. “It was uncalled for.”

“It’s alright,” Rue sighed, falling into the same old seat she always did and resting her chin on her palm. She hadn’t even changed yet; she’d been wandering around the Citadel to pass the time. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.”

“You were right to be,” he argued, shaking his head. “Just as you were right to be angry last night. I shouldn’t have lashed out.” Rue’s tired eyes met his and his head tilted just the slightest bit to the left, his eyes falling to a scuff mark on his desk from Rayne’s boots. “I hope you recognize that nothing I said was true.”

“… All of it was true.”

Rue didn’t even realize she was crying until she felt warmth trailing down her cheeks and a cool splash on her hand. It wasn’t a hard cry, though. It was empty, just as empty as she felt. Ignis watched as she wiped her cheeks only for them to be wetted again almost instantly.  _I’m just as bad as Eren._

He would have given a glass of his own blood for each of those tears, but he simply couldn’t justify it. They were shed for another. And so, he shook his head, gathering his things, and informed her that he had a meeting to attend. He had to leave her there, the poor girl whose slow tears become choking sobs that shuddered through her frail body, because this wasn’t his place. This wasn’t his job.

He’d felt this before and he knew it was only a matter of time before he felt the twist of a knife in his gut as she fell into another’s arms and forgot him entirely. Perhaps this time he could stop while he was ahead. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone get my Count of Monte Cristo reference? ;)))))  
> No one? Aw man..  
> Freaking love that book btw


	40. Twelve Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sara" by We Three

Rue couldn’t tell how long it was before she heard the office door open again. The tears had long dried up as she came to terms with Ignis’s realization of her weakness. It was only a matter of time before Rayne told her she would never be good enough.  _Speak of the devil…_ She turned to see the blonde standing in the doorway, peering into the office. Her brow furrowed and she cocked her head to the side.

“Where’s Ignis?”

“In a meeting.” Rue raised an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

“Well, I was going to rant to him, but I guess I’ll have to rant to you.” Rayne sighed and closed the door before heading over and sitting on the edge of Ignis’s desk. For once, she looked preoccupied with something other than fighting, training, or Gladio.

“About?”

“This is normal, right?” Rayne blurted. “Doubting during an engagement, I mean.” Rue relaxed immediately, finally feeling as though she had the upper hand. For once, she knew better. Rayne rambled on nervously, toying with the end of her ponytail. “Because, like, I actually really do love Gladio and we could  _totally_ spend the rest of our lives together—I think—but it’s just the whole house thing.”

“House thing?” Rue repeated, eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah.” Rayne huffed, swinging her feet. “He’s Amicitia and I’m Callen. I already told him my only condition is that I keep my last name, and he’s okay with that. But that means I’ll have to have kids to continue the lines, as in more than one, and I  _don’t_ want kids  _ever.”_ She rolled her eyes, slumping forward and picking at a hole in her uniform. “And he  _really_  wants kids for  _more_ than politics’ sake.”

“That’s tough,” Rue sighed, leaning back in her seat. “But I get where you’re coming from.” Rayne glanced up at her.

“You… were married, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, well, I was eighteen and stupid,” Rue huffed, rolling her eyes. “It didn’t help that I was hopelessly in love with the guy  _and_ pregnant with his child.” Rayne cringed.

“Ouch.”

“But I can’t say I had the same problem because we didn’t have  _houses_  and he didn’t give a shit whether we had kids or not. Frankly, he didn’t give a shit about anything but having fun.” Rue sighed, offering a smile. “You guys are lucky that you have something real, y’know. Casper and I were a creation of my fantasy world.”

“That’s… shitty.” Rayne shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s changed me a lot.” Rue scoffed. “Which is a good thing, trust me. As for the kid thing… You can adopt, can’t you? I’m sure there’re plenty of kids looking for homes after the Darkness.”

“Gladio’s weird about that,” Rayne huffed, rolling her eyes. “Says that the line has to be his blood or it stops at him.”

“Surrogate?”

“That weirds me out,” she admitted. “I don’t know. I don’t think it’s worth ruining a relationship over, but I also don’t think I can keep putting it off until I hit menopause or whatever. Maybe I can sneak off and get my tubes tied.” Rue frowned, but she was stifling a laugh. “But… then he’d probably get sick of me and run off with another woman who’s willing to give him a little less trouble,” she muttered, continuing to tug at the holes in her clothes.

“Why do you say that?”

“Have you  _seen_ the guy? Why in the  _hell_ does he have any interest in me?” she demanded, gesturing up and down the length of her body. “I’m built like a man with a bubble butt and I have  _zero_ personality unless I’m  _drunk._ ”

“Not true,” Rue huffed. “Don’t get all weird and existential on me. I can’t fix that. But, I mean, I get why you’re scared. I guess.”  _Not really. If only she could see what they look like to an outside perspective._

“And then I have to stress about a fucking wedding and what it’ll be like and all that bullshit that I really don’t care about,” Rayne rambled, running her hands through her hair and turning her eyes up to the ceiling. “But… I guess I just keep telling myself that no matter what, he’s stuck with me because we both hate change.”

“Well there’s your hope,” Rue replied with forced cheeriness. “And, you know, he loves you. Not to get mushy or whatever, but it’s true.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Rayne frowned, clearly thinking something over. Her voice was quiet the next time she spoke. “Rue… I know I’m not supposed to give two shits about you and I’m not supposed to know half the stuff I do, but…” She met Rue’s eyes with determination, clearly believing every word she spoke. “Eren’s no good for you.” Rue’s mouth went dry and she sat and stared in silence.  _Did Prompto say something…?_

“What do you mean?” she demanded, instantly defensive.

“Why can’t you see it?” Rayne asked, voice filled with desperation. “He’s not Eren anymore. You’re not obligated to look after him, and especially not if he’s not even trying to get better. I understand why he’s so upset, but taking it out on you the way he has… It’s unacceptable.”

“You don’t know anything,” Rue snapped. Rayne raised an eyebrow. “Prompto doesn’t know anything.”

“What did you mean when you said you fucked up?” she demanded. Rue gritted her teeth and refused to answer. “Rue, he has you wrapped around his finger. He beats you down and then plays the savior at the end of it all to make it all feel worth it.”

“You don’t…” Rue got to her feet, fists balled and heart pounding. “He needs me.”

“That’s what he wants you to believe,” she insisted, standing. The genuine care behind her actions made Rue’s mind go haywire, unable to understand why she was doing this.  _She’s just trying to throw me off, make me unhappy. That’s what she does, isn’t it?_ “He’s made you believe you need him.”

“You’re wrong,” Rue argued, angry. “You’re…” She shook her head, choking on her words. “He’s broken, Rayne. I can’t leave him like this. It’s  _wrong._ ”

“Is it?” Rayne asked, unfazed by the younger woman’s anger.

“You don’t know anything,” Rue repeated louder, heading for the door. “Mind your own damn business.”

With that, she rushed out into the hall, unsure of where she was headed until she reached the kitchen, which was empty as usual. Filled with pent up energy, she paced around and around the room, arms hugged to her chest and heart racing as she ran Rayne’s words over and over through her head. It felt so evil, so  _dirty_ to even consider leaving him like this. He couldn’t help himself…  _But what if she’s right?_ It was that little voice that kept her thinking, kept her recognizing what Rayne meant.  _How does she know?_ She buried her face in her hands with a groan, letting her back hit the wall and sliding to the floor.  _What if she’s wrong?_

 _But what if she’s right?_ Rue sighed, dropping her hands to drape her arms over her bent knees, staring ahead at the countertops. If only she could see the future and understand why she was going through this… She couldn’t lose Eren; his smile, his teasing, gentle, nurturing character. A lump built up in her throat and she closed her eyes.  _But… he’s really gone, isn’t he?_  She shuddered.  _I’m too late._ Her stomach sank with dread. Eren’s light had faded long ago—the moment he gave in the darkness of despair, he was lost. She didn’t know if he could be found again, but that certainly wouldn’t happen if she was enabling his actions by allowing them to continue. She took a deep breath and got to her feet, feeling sick. She knew what she had to do.

Ignis returned an hour later, but he didn’t acknowledge her presence. Rue hardly noticed, mulling over how she would do this. Slowly, she felt the life return to her body, to her soul. She felt as though the burdens were already melting away. By the time the end of the day rolled around and she was pulling on her jacket, she was determined to make sure she was truly free by nightfall. Ignis didn’t answer when she said goodbye; she didn’t notice. Just as she left the Citadel gates, her phone vibrated. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Eren’s name.

_Wanna get dinner now? I’m craving those skewers from that one place downtown._

Fighting a smile, Rue texted him back quickly and hurried on her way.

_Sure! Stop by my place first <3_

_Duh ;)_

_He’s not the same,_ she reminded herself, taking a deep breath of the warm spring air and quickening her steps. Her apartment was still locked when she got there. Breathing a sigh of relief, she hung up her jacket and threw on her pajamas; there was no need to get ready. Filling a glass of wine, she flopped down on the couch and waited, welcoming the warm rush of the alcohol in her belly. It was hardly five minutes before the doorknob turned. Eren stepped inside, shrugging off his jacket. He flashed a grin at her and she fought the urge to swoon over his dimples.

“Comfortable, I see,” he commented, folding the jacket over his arm. “It’s getting hot out.”

“I know,” she huffed, shaking her head and switching off the TV. “It’s ridiculous how wishy-washy the weather is around here.”

“Honestly.” Eren cocked his head to the side, pushing up his glasses. She took a deep breath, keeping herself steady.  _This has to be it._ Still, with that smile and those bright eyes, he looked back to his normal self. He’d done this before, though. He always switched.  _But what if it’s real this time?_ “You gonna get dressed?”  _It won’t be. It can’t be._

“I don’t need to,” she answered coolly, setting her wine glass down. She was so close; she couldn’t give in now. Rayne was right. Eren raised an eyebrow.

“You want takeout? We can do that.”

“No.” Rue sighed, hugging her knees to the chest. “We’re not getting dinner, Eren. There is no  _we._ Not anymore.” His smile faded into a frown.

“What do you mean?” She didn’t answer, holding his gaze until he shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “No, Rue. We’re not doing this, not now.”

“No, we are.” Her fingers tangled anxiously, but she was steadfast. She didn’t have to have another Casper. “We’re done, Eren. Get your stuff and leave. Please.”

“Rue, please,” he pleaded, hurrying toward her. To her surprise, he didn’t look angry, only desperate. He fell to his knees on the carpet before her, reaching out to take one of her hands. “I know… I know I’ve been a dick. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything I—”

“Then you shouldn’t have said it,” she answered calmly, pulling away and reaching forward to take a drink from her glass. “I know you’re struggling, and I hate to have to do this. But you need to sort your shit out before you try to dump everything on me.”

“Rue…” Eren’s voice trembled and her heart ached. “I love you.” She couldn’t look at him any longer. Goosebumps prickled across her skin and she shuddered. 

“Get your things.”

“I can’t.”

“Please, Eren.” She closed her eyes. “Don’t make it harder than it has to be.”

“You don’t want this,” he insisted. Rue frowned, turning back down to him.

“You don’t know jack shit about what I want, and even if you did, you wouldn’t care. This was always about you. I’m done with it.” She took another drink and gestured toward her bedroom. “Get your stuff before I kick you out without it.”

“Please,” he whimpered.  _Pathetic,_ she thought, but she didn’t mean it. She was hurting, too. But she had to do this… it was the only escape. It was the only way for a fresh start. “Rue, I love you. I’d do anything for you, you know that.”

“Then leave for me,” she replied, pleading with her eyes. “Please. Just… sort yourself out. We can talk then.”

“This isn’t the end,” he swore, standing and hurrying to her room. She downed the rest of her glass, sinking back into the couch cushions.  _But it is. It has to be._

As Eren headed out the door with an armload of clothes, he promised he’d get better just for her—just so he could prove he was willing. She didn’t answer, resorting to drinking straight from the wine bottle, and turned the TV back on. The door closed and so did her eyes. Taking a trembling breath, she felt a smile creep across her face.  _It’s done._ But it still hurt like hell no matter how much she drank.  _I need something stronger._ By evening, she was endlessly dizzy, staring up at the ceiling with nothing but his face in her mind no matter what she did. Finally, she reached for her phone and texted Rayne.

_The deed is done. Sorry for being a bitch. You were right._

Huffing, she set her phone aside only to realize she probably needed some company before she drank herself to death.  _But that sounds better._ She rolled her eyes at herself, fighting a bout of nausea as she shoved the bottle of Eren’s tequila (the same one from the fateful night she made that horrible mistake of kissing him) under her couch to hide the evidence.  _Fine._ She called Relir with a yawn and checked the time. Too early for bed. 

“Rue?”

“Hey!” Rue greeted, shaking her head. “No, that was too excited. Listen, I’m  _hella_ _—_ ”

“Are you  _drunk?_ ”

“See, that’s the funny thing,” she laughed, lacing her fingers through her toes as though she was holding someone’s hand. “I was  _just_ gonna tell you that.”

“Rue, it’s Tuesday,” Relir huffed. Rue laughed as she heard her friend tell Dex about her state. “Why—Nevermind. Are you alone?”

“Yeah,” Rue sighed, rolling off the couch and hitting the floor with a grunt. Somewhere across the room, Honey leaped to her feet and sprinted into the bedroom, startled. “See, that’s the other thing.”

“What’s the other thing?”

“I kinda sorta broke up with Eren.” She laughed again. It sounded so funny when she said it out loud; were they ever “official” to begin with?

“What the—! Are you okay?!” Relir didn’t wait for her answer when she heard another giggle. “Stay right where you are, you hear me? I’m coming over.”

“Ooh! Girls night!”

“Yeah, yeah. Just wait for me.”

“M’kay. I’ll take a shot for you. Love ya.”

“No.  _No!_ Don’t do that!” Relir huffed. “Don’t do  _anything._ I’ll be there.”

“Mhm.”

Rue hung up and immediately took the glass bottle back out, taking a swig of the bitter liquid and relishing in the burn, the heat, the motion of the floor beneath her. Everything felt so  _good_ because it felt like nothing.  _Oh gods, what if I do something stupid?_ She snickered, capping the drink and sitting up.  _Like what, call Eren? Yeah, right._ She pulled her hair up, bored from waiting. An idea sparked in her head and she couldn’t stop laughing at the stupidity of it. Then again, maybe Rayne didn’t see her text… She grinned, dialing up the Glaive. Rayne picked up on the third ring, just as Rue was taking another drink.  _I’m gonna fucking kill myself._ She snorted.  _Good._

“Rue?”

“Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry I forgot I called.” Rue stifled a laugh behind her hand, unaware that Rayne could hear every little snicker.

“… Are you alright?”

“Yeah, no, I’m  _so_ great. Listen, though. Listen to me.”

“Um… Okay?”

“You were right, right?”

“What?” Rayne said something in the background.

“Are you talking about me?” Rue slurred, laughing. “That’s cool. All good things, though. Anyway—”

“Rue, where are you?”

“Why? You wanna come kiss my ass?” Rue thought that was hilarious. “No, listen.”

“I’m listening, but where are you?”

“I’m home,” Rue huffed, rolling her eyes. “But I, like, broke up with Eren today. I think… Yeah, yeah. Three hours ago.”

“And you’re by yourself?”

“Duh!” Rue frowned as she heard more mumbling. “Bitch, I can’t hear you.”

“Okay, first of all, don’t call me that.”

“Why is everyone asking me if I’m alone?” Rue scoffed, tempted to take another drink. It was so  _good._

“Everyone? Who else have you called?”

“I dunno,” she shrugged, flopping back down on the carpet.

“Do you need someone there? I’m with Ignis right now, but if you need me to—”

“Ignis is there?! You didn’t—” Rue hiccupped, huffing in irritation. “Just don’t tell him I’m drunk, okay?” No answer. “Seriously! It’s so bad, please don’t tell him. I drank like half the bottle by myself after I drank all the wine. I should be  _dead._ ” Rue sighed. “Are you listening?”

“Rue, you’re on speaker,” Rayne admitted finally.

“Okay, so?” she lifted a leg straight up into the air, tracing her hardest to stretch toward the ceiling. Instead, her leg flopped over and hit the bottle on the coffee table, spilling the alcohol all across the carpet. “ _No! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”_

“Rue, are you okay?”

“No, I’m not  _fucking_ okay!” she cried, trying to scoop the drink back into the bottle. She just wound up with wet hands digging around in wet carpet. “That was the good shit!” There was a knock at her door. “Dammit, I don’t have any left for—”

“Okay, um, Ignis and I are just gonna come make sure you’re—”

“Hang on, just give me  _one_ second,” Rue slurred, stumbling her way to the door and opening it up. Thrilled to see her friend, she threw her arms around her and squeezed her tightly. Relir rolled her eyes.

“You smell like shit,” she muttered, pushing Rue back toward the couch. She realized, with horror, that a phone call was ongoing. “Uh, hello?” Rue cried out, snatching the device away.

“No! It’s my boss and my other boss.” She pressed the device to her ear. “Okay, sorry. What was that?”

“Is someone else there?”

“Yeah, yeah, my dumb bitch friend, Relir. You know her.” Relir rolled her eyes and got a towel for the spill.

“Right.” Rayne said something again that she couldn’t hear, and Rue’s face screwed up into a scowl. A deeper voice replied and Rayne laughed. “Hey, Rue, I have a question for you, okay? It’s a secret.”

“Ooh, okay. I like secrets.” Relir’s face fell and she lunged for the phone. Rue kicked her away, shouting until her friend backed off with a mutter of “your loss, dumbass.” “What is it?”

“I just need to know something.”

“ _Anything,_ ” Rue assured her, rolling onto her stomach and kicking her feet in the air behind her.

“Do you think—” Rayne was cut off for a moment by loud scuffling noises and a cry, followed by another laugh. “No, guys, it’s okay, she won't remember tomorrow,” Rue heard her say. She just laughed to herself as if she understood why the situation was funny. “Okay. Do you think Ignis is hot? Objectively, I mean.”

“Why not subjectively?”

“Whoa, big words. Okay, fine. Subjectively, is Ignis hot?” Rue rolled her eyes.

“ _Duh._ Have you seen the guy?” She lowered her voice. “Don’t tell anyone, but I think he’s, like, twelve times hotter than Gladdy.”

“Gladdy,” Rayne repeated with a snicker. “Alright, that’s all I needed. Thank you.”

“Super welcome.” Rue yawned. “I’m  _hella_ tired.”

“Goodnight, then.”

“Wait. Can you sing me to sleep?”

“Rue, seriously?” Relir muttered to herself, shaking her head.

“No.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

Rue hung up and sat up to look at Relir, who looked pissed. Suddenly, Rue didn’t feel so good anymore, taking the water glass and solemnly drinking as she stared at a stain on the floor caused by Eren’s dirty boots. Relir sighed and sat beside her on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“I guess,” Rue replied with a shrug, dizzily turning to face her friend.

“How’d he take it?”

“Um… not great.” Everything started to hurt. Tears welled up in her eyes. “He… kept saying he loved me, and he didn’t want to go. But I couldn’t do it anymore, Relir, I just…” She shook her head, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “He wasn’t Eren anymore.”

“… I know.” Gingerly, Relir pulled Rue to her feet and pulled her toward the bedroom. “Let’s get you to sleep so you can forget all about this, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Rue yawned again and set an alarm on her phone, crinkling her nose when she remembered she had to meet with Cam the next morning.

“What was the secret you told Rayne?” Relir pressed. “Just out of curiosity.”

“It’s a secret.”

“But it’s a drunk secret, so it doesn’t count.”

“Oh, right.”  ** _Is_** _that how it works?_ Rue shrugged. “She wanted to know if I think Ignis was hot. Subjectively.” Relir’s face drained color immediately and she stopped in her tracks.

“And you said…”

“Twelve times hotter than Gladio!” Rue cried, laughing hysterically. “I’m right, though, right?”

“… I really need you to forget this,” she murmured, tugging Rue harder.

“Okay, okay,” she huffed, rolling her eyes and stumbling into her bed. “Stay with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Relir nodded, sitting beside her and combing through Rue’s hair with her fingers. “Goodnight.”

“Yeah, goodnight.”

Sleep came all too easy that night. 

 


	41. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Make It Up As I Go," by Mike Shinoda ft. K.Flay

“ _Fuck_ _,_ ” Rue moaned as her alarm went off. Everything was painful and sharp, throbbing and spinning. “What the hell did I do?”

“You want the long version or the short one?” Relir asked, stepping out of Rue’s closet. “You’re a fucking hoarder, by the way. Just thought you should know.”

“I know.” Rue thought for a moment. “Give me the short version.”

“You dumped Eren, drank a lot of tequila, and then you called me and I came to put you to bed.”

“Brevity. I like it.” Rubbing her temples, she rolled around until she was sitting up, legs hanging over the edge of the bedside. “That’s it?”

“I mean, you also called Rayne and had a lengthy conversation about absolutely nothing.”

“ _Wonderful_ ,” Rue groaned, catching a glimpse of the water glass on the table beside her. She reached for it and downed the pile of painkillers Relir left there for her. “Gods, why am I like this?” she whined, falling onto her back and covering her eyes with her arm to shield them from the light. Every movement felt like  _hell_.

“I dunno, but you’ve got a meeting don’t you?”

“How’d you know that?” Rue frowned, peeking out at her. Relir raised her eyebrow.

“You set an alarm for eight p.m. labeled ‘stupid bitch boy meeting.’ I assumed it was meant for morning, so I switched it.”

“Ugh. It’s Cam.” She huffed, sliding onto the floor and bringing half the blankets with her. Relir rolled her eyes and dragged Rue to her feet.

“You did this to yourself,  _Sweetheart._ C’mon, get ready for that meeting.” She hesitated. “Do… you want me to come with you?”

“No, no, it’ll be okay.” Rue hobbled toward the bathroom.  _Gods, why do I still feel drunk?_

“Well, at least let me drive you.”

“I don’t have a problem with that,” Rue shrugged. She shut the door and turned on the shower, unable to recount half the previous day; she wouldn’t try even if she wanted to remember, honestly. The hot water felt wonderful on her skin. It felt like a fresh start, which she so dearly needed.

“Made you coffee,” Relir said when Rue entered the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Rue huffed, testing the heat of the drink before chugging it down. Honestly, she didn’t care that she was about to go get  _another_ coffee. She was just grateful to be awake and moving without much repercussion for the night before.  _Just happy I didn’t throw up._

“Almost ready?” Relir pushed. “I told Rayne I’d be a bit late today—I’m sure she knows why.” Rue rolled her eyes. “Don’t give me that look, you did that to yourself.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she huffed, setting her mug down and heading to the door to pull on her shoes and her jacket. It felt good to wear something other than expensive “sexy secretary” clothes for once. “C’mon, let’s get this show on the road.”

The coffee shop was busy, as usual.  _I'm gonna need more caffeine._  Rue tugged her jacket tighter around her shoulders and waving to Relir’s car as she drove away. The décor was exactly the same as it was when she came here the last time—the day she convinced Gladio to let her work for Ignis. It felt like centuries ago. Sighing, she caught a glimpse of Cam’s familiar broad shoulders as she waited in line, feeling her heart speed up at the mere sight of him.  _One of these days I’m gonna die from a heart attack._

“Hi! What can I get for you today?” the barista in the man bun asked, flashing a practiced grin. Rue was unfazed by his charms and answered blandly.

“Iced mocha.”

“Alright, sounds good!” He tapped a few things on the screen before him and turned it around. “Insert your card and select a tip and then you’ll be on your way.”

“Yup.”

Rue recalled the last time she was here when she was hardly able to pay at all. She sighed, shaking her head and stepping away from the counter, shoving her card into her pocket.  _I guess things really have changed._ She felt as though she couldn’t breathe as she headed toward the small table in the back of the café. Cam didn’t look up from his phone even when she started to sit.

“Cam?”

“Huh?” He looked up at her, grinning. “Oh, hey! Just give me  _one_ second.” She frowned, sitting down carefully and watching the counter for her drink. “There we go!” He set his phone down, blue eyes shining brightly. “Damn, how did you get even  _prettier_ after I left?” Rue looked around uncomfortably.

“We’re here to talk about the kids?”  _This conversation has to sound so strange out of context._

“Yeah, I know.” He cocked his head to the side, scratching at the smallest bit of scruff that was coming in along his jaw. “Can’t we get caught up first? What’ve you been up to?”

“I’m not interested in talking,” she snapped defensively.

“How’s Eren?” he asked casually, leaning back in his seat and raising an eyebrow. “You guys really hit it off, it seems.” Rue’s face must’ve said it all. “Oh, shit. Sorry.”

“The kids.”

“Right, right.” He put his chair back down and took a breath to speak when he was cut off by the barista.

“Mocha for Rue!”

“I’ll get it,” he told her, standing with a wink. Rue didn’t think she could move anyway, except for the shudder that shook her to the core when he turned his back.  _This was a stupid idea._ Cam returned with her drink and settled back in his seat.

“Thanks.”

“Where were we? The kids…” He ran a hand through his hair and cocked his head to the side. “See, I didn’t write anything down because I didn’t want just anyone to find the info. I’m glad it was you.” She didn’t reply when he paused, so he continued. “I got so close, Rue.”

“Okay, so what should I know?” she pressed. He leaned his head forward, lowering his voice.

“They’re led by this guy named Jared Marcus. Apparently, he took a bunch of kids in during the Darkness and taught them how to fight.”

“That’s a ton of kids,” she huffed in disbelief. He nodded.

“Isn’t it? But they all felt like they owed their life to him, so they followed him when the light came back, and they believe him when he says Noctis needs to die.”

“Damn.” Rue shook her head, resting her chin on the heel of her hand. “So… How should I stop them?”

“I don’t know if you can,” he admitted. “Not without violence. Those kids have all been brainwashed; if anything, their blood is on Marcus’s hands. He’s the one who told them to scare you at your home, and every time they’ve attacked the Citadel, it’s been at his command. He’s been biding his time for something big. He has to be.”

“What, though?”

“Maybe a last hoorah?” Cam shrugged, watching her drink from her cup with a stare that made her very uncomfortable. “I don’t know. But that guy won’t rest until he’s dragged Noctis out before the public and forced him to admit to everything that he won’t tell them.”

“Someone’s passionate,” she snorted. “How do you know all this?”

“I followed them for a good portion of time before and after I was terminated.” Cam cocked his head to the side. “They’re good, but they’re still kids that were raised by a goddamn maniac. They don’t know the first thing about blending in.”

“Did you know they would attack me?”

“Not before it was already happening,” he admitted. “But even then, I knew it wasn’t you they were after. They only wanted to send a message to the king. Guess they figured you were a lot more important.” His eyebrow arched and his lips quirked into a smile. “ _Or_ they had reason to believe you were important enough to someone else who would bring attention to it.”

“Who?” Rue frowned, not quite understanding what he meant. He chuckled.

“Seriously? Who other than the great Ignis Scientia who immediately swooped in to save your ass?”

“I think you’ve got the wrong idea about that,” she scoffed.

“Yeah, probably. Still, not many people are willing to get up at three in the morning to help their employee out.”

“He’s just like that.”

“I know.” He grabbed her cup and took a long drink, earning a scowl. “Last thing you need to know: their hideout. It’s an abandoned arcade on the east side of Insomnia, North Central terminal. It’s not hard to find. There’s a hole in their wall that I covered with a cardboard box; I guess I assumed I’d get the chance to infiltrate before I was fired.”

“Why didn’t you afterward?”

“I didn’t have anyone at my back if I needed something,” he shrugged. “Simple as that.”

“So you’re saying I could theoretically get in there  _today?_ ”

“If the hole’s still there, yeah. It’s around the left side of the building.” He grinned. “If anyone can kick their asses, it’s you.”  _I doubt it._ “Just don’t go without telling anyone.”

“I won’t. I fully intend on flushing out that file once I get back.”

“Good for you.” He winked. “Make it look like you’re the hard worker here, hm?”

“Whatever,” she muttered, downing the rest of the coffee. “Is that everything?”

“Should be, yeah.” He stood, smiling as they left the shop side by side. “We should meet up again, yeah? Since, y’know, Eren didn’t work out.”

“Not interested,” she huffed, heading toward the Citadel. For a moment, she feared he might grab her and force her to go into some sketchy alley with him. But when she looked back over her shoulder, he was simply waving cheerfully as he climbed into his car. She scoffed bitterly.  _He doesn’t even understand what he did, does he?_

Slowly, she made her way to the Citadel, figuring it was okay to show up underdressed for once. Ignis wouldn’t care as long as she got her work done—maybe. Now that she was thinking about it, he’d probably be upset, but she was too close to turn back now.  _Oh well. What’s he gonna do, fire me?_ Her apathy would’ve scared her if she didn’t remember what she was going through; it only made sense.

“Hey, Rue,” Prompto greeted, flashing a smile that seemed forced.  _I’m okay, really._ She smiled back.

“Hey. Miss me?”

“Maybe.” He laughed, following her to Ignis’s office. “Got anything exciting on the agenda today?”

“Actually, yes.” She shed her jacket, acknowledging Ignis with a curt nod. “I met with Cam this morning, right?”

“Yeah, how’d that go?” Prompto asked tentatively, leaning against the doorway.

“Pretty alright.”

“Nothing sketchy?”

“Other than his offensive attempts at flirting, no.” He laughed. “Can you get Rayne and Gladio? I don’t want to have to explain this more than once.”

“Sure thing.”

Prompto turned tail and left the office. Rue flopped down in the chair in front of Ignis’s desk and rubbed her face with a groan.

“I’m so tired,” she sighed. Ignis raised an eyebrow, tossing out an empty Ebony can.

“I can imagine.”

“Why’s that?” she frowned, crossing her arms. Ignis frowned back.

“… Ask Rayne.”

“Shit,” she whispered, chewing on her cheek. “Why?”

“I—”

“Here we are!” Prompto cheered, shoving Rayne and Gladio into the room.

“What’s up?” Rayne asked, crossing her arms.

Prompto shut the door and waited patiently for Rue to speak. She took a deep breath and quickly explained every relevant detail she could recall from the conversation, from their leader’s name to the specific location of the way into their hideout. Everyone listened attentively, keeping their mouths shut when they had anything to say. Somehow, Rue’s lively flailing and occasional laugh had fully captivated them; she wasn’t entirely sure why.  _Is there something on my face?_

“That’s all I can remember,” Rue finished, slumping back in her seat. Gladio exchanged a look with Ignis as Rayne spoke up.

“That’s… a lot more than I was expecting, to be honest. I kinda just thought he was fucking with you.”

“Yeah, so did I,” Rue admitted. “ _But,_ he seemed really serious.”

“Sounds like it. That’s not the kind of shit people can make up on the spot,” Gladio grumbled, scratching at his beard. Rue nodded.

“When was the last time they attacked anyone?” she asked, genuinely curious.

“A couple weeks?” Rayne guessed looking for affirmation. Prompto shrugged and Ignis simply stared back at her. “Yeah, I think so. They haven’t been around lately.”

“It’s suspicious, isn’t it?” Prompto frowned, cocking his head to the side. “Maybe someone should check ‘em out, ASAP.”

“And by ‘someone’ you mean Rue,” Rayne corrected. Rue nodded, but not everyone was in agreement with the decision.

“Alone?” Ignis frowned. Rue scowled.

“What, am I too defenseless?” she snapped. He pushed his glasses up.

“Absolutely not. Am I wrong to assume you’ve never done something like this before?”

“Something of the sort,” Rue replied, hugging her knees to her chest. “I’d put sneaking into a crack den to steal inventory as a heavily pregnant woman on the same level of difficulty.” That shut him up. Gladio chuckled, shaking his head.

“You’re really somethin’ else.”

“Right?” Prompto snickered, figuring it was alright to laugh since Rue was giggling at her own words. “When’re you going?” Rue looked at Rayne for an answer.

“ _Well…”_ Rayne cocked her head to the side, thoughtfully staring at the ceiling. “We should really get moving on this thing, but there’s some stuff you’ll need.”

“Like?”

“A means of communication, for one. At least to leave outside.”

“No, that’s not an option,” Ignis cut in, earning everyone’s attention. “If they’re serious about their defenses, then they’ll have a means for tracking nearby signals, especially if they spent any significant amount of time tracking her.”

“Shit, I forgot about that,” Rayne admitted under her breath. “Okay, let me think. Really, you just need to find somewhere to sit around for a few hours and listen. It shouldn’t take more than a quarter of the day, tops.”

“Sounds good to me,” Rue nodded.

“But you’ll need to be prepared for the worst,” Ignis added, toying with his pen absently. “A plan of escape.”

“They don’t know where the entrance is,” Rue shrugged. “I know I have bad luck and all, but I don’t think they’ll be able to find it now if they haven’t found it before.” Ignis clearly didn’t like where this was headed, but Rayne spoke before he could.

“She’ll be alright, Iggy, seriously. We’ll be waiting here. We know where to find her if things go south.”

“And you’ll simply march up to their door and demand that she be returned?”

“Why are you assuming I’ll get caught?” Rue huffed, rolling her eyes as she adjusted her legs. “Really, Ignis, I’ll be okay.” He stared at her a moment longer before sighing and looking back down at the paperwork before him. “When should I head out?”

“I think tomorrow morning would be the best time,” Rayne shrugged.

“You want her to go waltzing up in broad daylight?” Gladio frowned. Rayne rolled her eyes.

“They won’t be expecting someone to be around in the morning unless it’s just another person scavenging for scrap. They won’t suspect a thing if she strolls past a window or two.”

“Unless they’re planning something big,” Prompto pointed out nervously. “Then they might be a little on edge, yeah?”

“ _Guys,_ ” Rue huffed, meeting Rayne’s knowing look. “We’ve got this under control, I swear.”

“Okay,” Prompto grinned, holding up his hands defensively. “Gladio ‘n I should get back to work.”

“What’re you doing?” Rue asked, eyebrow raised.

“Fixing the wall in Cam’s office. There’s a leak from the floor overhead.”

“Of course there is,” she huffed, shaking her head. Everything that man touched seemed to be destroyed in one way or another. “Have fun.”

“Will do!”

The two headed out of the office, muttering back and forth and nudging each other playfully. Rue couldn’t help but smile as they left. Rayne sat down on the edge of Ignis’s desk, head cocked to the side.

“So, Relir spent the night?”

“Uh, yeah,” Rue replied uncertainly, glancing at Ignis. He made a point of staring at his notebook as though he couldn’t hear them. Rayne laughed, shaking her head.

“Do you remember  _anything?_ ”

“She said I called you,” she answered anxiously.  _Don’t make me look bad._ Rayne seemed to read her thoughts.

“Chillax; Iggy was on the phone, too.” Rue felt her face go red when Ignis puffed out a small laugh, shaking his head. “I want whatever shit you were on, just so you know.”

“Tequila?” Rue raised an eyebrow. Rayne snickered.

“Really? I thought for sure you were on  _twelve_  different drugs.”

“What’d I say?” Rue frowned, feeling like an idiot. Ignis looked uncomfortable; Rayne relished in it.

“Oh, nothing. You told me a few of your… opinions. Your secrets are safe with me.”

“What secrets?” she pushed anxiously.

“Nothing serious, I swear,” Rayne assured her seriously, though her face quickly broke right back into a smile. “I just learned that you have a type.”

“A… type?” Rue didn’t quite understand and it made her feel stupid. Rayne snickered, elbowing Ignis. He took a deep breath to calm his instant irritation when the nudge forced his pen to draw a line across the entire page before him, shutting his eyes.

“Yeah, a type.” Shaking her head, Rayne leaned back, hitting Ignis’s arm again when he returned to writing. Clearly getting pissed off, he scowled up at her. She was oblivious until he jabbed her in the ribs with the end of the pen. Rue jumped when Rayne yelped and jumped away from him, diving off the desk. “ _Iggy!_ ”

“You ruined my notes,” he replied coolly. Rue frowned.

“What the  _hell_ was that?”

“She’s painfully sensitive,” Ignis replied wryly, smiling at Rayne’s glower. “Perhaps you’ll watch what you’re doing next time.”

“ _You_  better watch what you’re doing,” Rayne muttered, rolling her eyes. Rue shook her head, utterly confused. The soldier turned back to face her. “I hope it wasn’t too painful.”

“What?”

“Eren.” She tilted her head to the left, looking at Ignis. “But I really do think it was the best thing you could’ve done.” Rue sighed, gently running her fingers over her sore nose.

“Yeah, I do too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These past few chapters have been pretty slow, but just wait  
> Next week is about to be WILD ride


	42. Change of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I Just Wanna Run" by The Downtown Fiction

"Ready to go?" Rayne asked watching Rue adjust her jacket. She was bringing nothing but the clothes on her back and the weapons in her retinue. She nodded, tightening the laces on her boots and running her hands through her hair. Ignis watched in the background, preoccupied with his thoughts. "Good. You remember where it is?"

"Yup."

"And you'll be back by tonight?"

"Should be."

"Perfect," Rayne nodded, grinning.

Rue turned and headed toward the towering doors that Ignis stood by, waiting. She handed over her phone and her keys, patting her pockets to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything. With a frown, Ignis took the items.

"Can you keep these in your office?" she asked, pleading with her eyes. He nodded.

"Of course. You'll need them upon your return."

"That's why I gave them to the only person here I trust not to lose them," she muttered, smiling. He shook his head, tucking them away into his jacket pocket.

"I wish you the best of luck."

"Thanks. Maybe it'll work for once."

"It's certainly worth a try."

Rue pushed the doors to the Citadel open and headed down the street without another word. Her hands were clammy in her pockets and her heart was pounding in her chest, but she felt prepared. Get in, listen, get out. Easy as that. She nodded to herself, straightening her posture as she strode down the sidewalk.  _Easy. In and out until it's done._ She huffed a small laugh to herself.  _Just like shitty sex._

The rubble began to get thicker the further she walked until there was nothing whole left and the only people around were the poor who couldn't afford a real home and the hungry who dug through the litter for scraps. She turned her eyes away, pitying them. She remembered what that was like all too well, wishing she could help them. But she had something else to do first. The sky was cloudy overhead, casting a pale gray light across the entire city. Maybe that's what felt off. She shook her head and hurried toward the arcade she saw in the distance. The small square building stood under the debris of a collapsed bridge, hidden in the shadows of the fallen highway. Her heart fluttered when she thought she saw a movement nearby; it was only a rat.

"Left side of the building," she repeated, creeping past the windows and shuffling through the dirt to turn the corner. Sure enough, a flattened cardboard box leaned against the side of the building, excellently hiding the gaping hole in the wall within its shadow. If she hadn't known the entrance was there, she never would have seen it.

Quickly, she got down on her hands and knees and pushed the box aside, peering into the roughly-cut hole. She couldn't imagine what had made this; it was hardly big enough for her to squeeze through. How did Cam expect to fit? Shaking her head, she crawled into the break in the concrete and pulled the box over the entrance behind her. She prayed it was concealed as well as it was before, creeping further through the wall and batting spider webs out of her face with a shudder.  _Hate these damn things._  She froze upon hearing voices.

"When's the meeting, anyway?"

"I thought it was tomorrow afternoon."

"That's what I thought, too."

"Well, we can't both be wrong, can we?"

A laugh.

"That's some flawed logic right there."

"Yeah, well, I'm optimistic."

Rue's heart was going haywire. She heard footsteps go past, realizing with horror that this entrance led to a dead arcade machine. There was only a very slight gap between the back panel and the wall, leaving her next to no room to enter the building. Gritting her teeth, she squeezed her way inside, trying her absolute hardest to remain silent. The voices were at the front of the building now.

"Well, whatever we do, I'm sure Jared knows what he's doing."

"Like he did with Marla and Grace?" The boy speaking sounded bitter. "I know what he was trying to do but sending them to their deaths was too far. He knows how Corden is."

Rue nearly choked on air at the sound of her surname.  _Marla and Grace... The two girls on my doorstep?_ She shivered, hugging her arms to her body as she pulled her knees to her chest and hid. This seemed like a good hiding place. The girl spoke next, her voice gentle.

"I know... But that's all the more reason to trust him. He knew they were planning to betray us."  _So, he kills off the kids who disobey? That's morbid._

"It's whatever. Hey, Alex. We're on watch now. See anyone weird?"

"Nah, just some girl that went around back. I'm gonna go see what she was up to."  _Shit_ _._

"It's probably just another hungry citizen," the girl assured him. There was a moment of silence, and then the sound of the front door shutting echoed through the expansive room. "He's paranoid."

"Well, yeah. Ever since that guy got in here, we've all been on edge."

"Who was he, anyway?"

"Just a homeless dude looking for shelter."

"And Jared killed him?"

"Had to. We didn't know what he'd heard."

"Makes sense."

Rue's stomach churned as she heard the sound of shoes shuffling around in the dirt outside. She knew she was out of luck when the cardboard moved and shined a light on the back of the machine. Startled, she threw herself out of the way and into the open, thanking the gods that no kids were waiting around in this section of the arcade. Quickly, she crept through the first aisle of twisted game machines that looked like they'd been pushed around to make room for something. She could hear the boy, Alex, crawling through the hole and reentering the arcade. Heart caught in her throat, she squeezed herself behind a corner machine, left with little choice if she was to hide.  _Justice Monsters,_ she thought to herself with an eye-roll.

She peered through the gap between the machine and the wall, seeing a young man about Signum's age stand and fluff the dust from the crawlspace out of his curly hair. He frowned, looking back down at the hole and turning back to his friends, who stared at him in silence.

"I found how the old guy got in."

"Close it up," the boy shrugged.

Rue felt her stomach go tight with dread.  _There goes my exit._ Alex turned to leave, pausing by the entrance of a new hallway she hadn't entered yet.

"I'm gonna patch it and have someone stand guard here, just in case."

"Whatever you want," the girl replied blandly. Rue sank back onto her heels, feeling the adrenaline in her veins die out.  _And there go my chances of escape._

~|~|~|~|~

It was an eternity before anything interesting happened again. Rue sat behind the pinball machine on high alert, anxiously picking at her fingernails. She stopped only when she realized she was making a constant clicking noise that caught a rather young boy's ears. He hardly looked a day over twelve. She froze, holding her breath as he neared the section of the arcade she waited in. He shook his head and continued on his way. She breathed a sigh of relief, watching the girl by the wood-patched hole in hopes that she'd turn away or doze off.

The arcade quickly turned dark as the sun sank below the horizon. Rue's stomach growled and her mouth felt like a desert. There was far more activity coming from the room behind her that she could hear from the air vent in the ceiling directly over her head. Lots of shuffling and muttering followed by the occasional laugh or shout. She rocked back and forth, staring at the pinball machine with dull, dry eyes. If she wasn't so scared, she might have been tired. The guards switched out just as she thought she might have a chance to make a run for it without any information. She wished she could slap herself.  _Quit it. You're not leaving until you hear what you have to._

The night dragged on just as the day did. Rue took deep breaths and laid her head back against the wall.  _Why am I such a damn idiot?_ Maybe if she and Rayne had listened to Ignis, she'd be prepared for a way out. She shook her head, closing her eyes and hugging her knees to her chest. There was nothing to do but wait.

When the light shined through the windows the next morning, her stomach growled loudly enough to wake her from the light sleep she'd gone in and out of all night. She froze, peering out to see if any of the kids standing guard noticed. They didn't bat an eye, keeping themselves busy with their weapons and books. The scent of food caught her nose and her stomach gurgled again.  _Fuck_ _._ She just had to make it through to the meeting today. Then she could plan to leave.

And so, she waited some more, staring at the pattern on the cheap carpet and mulling over her thoughts. Her fingers lazily traced the dingy colors and patterns. Behind her eyelids, she kept seeing faces; Eren, Ana, Relir...  _Ignis_. She sighed, feeling her chest go tight. What was it with that guy anyway? It felt like she was finally getting somewhere with him and then he flipped a switch and got defensive. What image of her did he keep in her head that suddenly made him so opposed to every single action she took? Before she could try to figure it out, she heard a voice speaking on the other side of the wall, loud and clear. The kids in the room stood at attention, listening even though they weren't there.

"Thank you all for being patient with me as I decide our next move." The man's voice was smooth, gentle. "It's high time that we take action—something drastic to end this once and for all." There was a shuffle and Rue pressed her lips together, trying her hardest to pick up on his every word. "The king sits on his throne behind the safe walls of his castle, dreaming away of idealistic worlds that he thinks he wills into being. This is simply not the case and we, the people, are suffering for his greed."

"So what do we do about it?" a voice asked. Rue's heart skipped a beat when she heard how many voices agreed.  _How many kids does this guy have?_

"Well, we've already tried our hand at their security, and they're too cautious. No, we will not infiltrate the walls; we will bring the king out. We'll cause enough commotion to bring him out with his royal slaves and force them into a fight they'll think they can win."

"But they won't!"

"No, they won't. Because we have the determination and drive for change and those men and women who have their safe, cushioned lives as the king's lapdogs have no more will to fight for their luxury. They've grown lazy because they don't know true suffering. The very same Darkness that stole your families and friends away from you is the Darkness caused by the king we are forced to serve. No longer will we stand by as mindless idiots. This time, we bring him to his end."  _This guy's insane,_ she thought as a loud bout of cheering erupted.

"When do we move?" an older girl asked. The man, Jared, chuckled.

"Why not start off their week right? What better a day to fight than Monday, just to leave the weekend sacred for celebration?" Another round of cheers.

Rue felt her stomach churn.  _That's what I needed. I have to get back._ She peeked her head out and immediately retracted, terrified that the boy walking past saw her. Luck was on her side, for once. She heard the sound of people moving around in the other room, followed by the sound of clinking dishes and the dulled rumble of indistinct chatter. Three guards patrolled the room she was in: one by the door, one by the hole, and one that paced up and down the aisles endlessly.

Her heart sank and she fell back against the wall, realizing she'd been gone for well over twenty-four hours.  _Do they think I'm dead, or just an idiot?_ She sighed, closing her eyes again.  _I can't miss my chance._ Tiredly, she sat up and waited with a sore bottom, crouched on the carpet as her stomach growled angrily and her dry throat stung.  _The information was the easy part... It's the action that might kill me._ Rolling her eyes, she picked at the mud on her boots.  _Here goes nothing._

~|~|~|~|~

"Is everyone training right now?" Alex asked, leaning against the window and crossing his arms. The girl that Rue had originally seen the first day shook her head.

"No. Jared doesn't want anyone to overexert themselves." Alex scoffed.

"That's stupid. Most of them aren't ready."

"Trust him, Alex. He knows what he's doing. You owe everything to him; the least you could do is have faith."

"... I know."

Rue's head was pounding, her body was aching from being cramped up for so long, and her body felt like a desert. Another eventless night had passed by without sleep, leaving her to stare at the wall with an empty mind and an empty heart. The guards never left; they never faltered. Everything was timed perfectly. There was no gap in surveillance, and for fear of their lives and love of their leader, the kids never drifted off on duty. Rue thought that maybe this guy Jared should lead their guards in Cam's absence. She thought that would be funny.

She was so preoccupied in her blank staring and endless pain that she hardly realized the commotion until someone rammed into the machine she hid behind. Shouting erupted from the room behind her, accompanied by a pair of panicked screams. The guards perked up, startled.

"Clara!" someone cried. "Someone help her!"

"What's happening?!"

" _Clara?!"_ the girl at the front entrance repeated.

She ran from her post without a second thought, followed by the boy in the aisle that called her name, trying to bring her back. Rue poked her head out to see if Alex had left the hole yet. He was still standing there, but he was staring wide-eyed at the room across the narrow hallway Rue knew was there based purely off of conversations she'd heard. This was her chance. Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to her feet and kept herself low as she raced to the front door, using the machines as her cover. She stumbled, dizzy, and crouched behind the display beside the door.  _He'll see me._ She squeezed her eyes shut, teeth grinding together tightly as her head pounded.

" _Alex, it's your sister!"_

Finally, Alex moved, racing into the doorway in the back of the building. Nauseous, trembling, and unsteady, Rue took her chance and sprinted out of the store, not caring if anyone saw her running out like a maniac. Her legs carried her down the street at top speed; the evening sky was dim with heavy clouds that steadily poured a drizzle over her head. She ignored the stares of the people that watched the wide-eyed, greasy-haired girl rush past, wheezing and stumbling around the crowds unsteadily. She wasn't all there; only her feet knew where she was headed. She didn't slow down as she rushed toward the towering doors of the Citadel, shaking with the rumble of the thunder. Firm hands gripped her arms, dragging her away. Startled back into reality, she thrashed, shouting between her gasps for air.

"Let me go!"

"Rue Corden?" the first guard frowned, holding her back. The second guard stood by the door uncertainly, holding a radio up to his lips.

"Rayne, she's back. Let her up?"

" _Why is that even a question? Of course fucking let her up!"_

"Come with us," the first guard said, restraining her as she fought back, thinking of nothing else but the news they were depending on. "Miss, calm down or we'll be draggin' you up unconscious."

"Let me  _go!"_ Rue pulled harder only to be gripped by the second guard and pulled inside. She was drenched, shivering, and sore, but she felt none of it.  _Two days,_ she kept thinking.  _Two more days._

 


	43. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Peach Scone" by Hobo Johnson

"Are you sure there's nothing we can do?" Rayne demanded, pacing back and forth in front of Ignis's desk. He sat in his seat, massaging his temples as he thought. "If she's alive, she's probably  _dying_ from thirst."

"We can hardly go marching up to their doorstep," Ignis sighed, scowling at the thunderstorm outside. Rue had been gone for three days; she'd disappeared without a trace. Of course, they knew the risks when they sent her, but they never thought this would happen. She was so sure she could handle this... Guilt tugged at Ignis's heartstrings. This all could have been prevented if he'd stood firm in what he knew was right.

"I know, I know, I just..." Rayne tugged at the roots of her hair pausing in front of him. "Dammit, I knew better, and I let her go anyway." Ignis didn't seem to hear her. Her expression turned sympathetic. "Are you worried?"

"..." Ignis frowned, glancing up at her. Normally, he'd be defensive, but he didn't have it in him anymore. "I suppose I am."

"Me too." Rayne huffed, staring up at the ceiling. "Gods, I hope the little bitch is okay. Prompto's gonna kill me."

"... He'll understand."

"Will he? If anything, he'll blame himself for enabling."

"There's still a chance she's alive," he replied, but he spoke the words as if he didn't believe them. The longer she was gone, the worse he felt about her odds of returning.

He looked down at the chair before his desk, remembering when it was new, pristine from little use. Now there was an indentation from where she always sat and dirt scuffs along the edges where her shoes sometimes hit the legs. The chocobo she'd drawn in the corner of his notebook all those weeks ago felt so much different now that it wasn't her first day—now that they all realized she was far more than a screw-up. The three of them—Rayne, Ignis, and Prompto—had hardly been able to sleep the past two nights, wondering if she was trying to get into the Citadel to retrieve her house keys or if that was too much to hope for and she was simply dead beneath a pile of dirt at the arcade.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell her friends," Rayne groaned, rubbing her face. "She didn't even tell them she was leaving."  _Of course she didn't._ He couldn't help but recall her gentle touch as she cared for him in his illness, her reassuring words and her patience when he was rude, brash, careless. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose. He was being a fool; this wasn't the end of the world. "What if Eren... Oh  _shit_ _,_ Eren!" Rayne fell against the wall dramatically, muttering to herself in distress. "Iggy, what if—"

_"Rayne, she's back. Let her up?"_

Rayne froze at the sound of her radio and Ignis tore his eyes away from his notebook to watch her lift it to her lips, trembling. She was  _angry._

"Why is that a question?" she demanded. "Of course fucking let her up!"

She slammed the radio back into its pocket on her hip and shook her head, irritated but incredibly relieved. Ignis was on his feet before he realized, following her out of the office and down the hall. Prompto stood outside on his phone, but his expression changed when he saw them, and he hurried to catch up. Down the hall, there echoed the sound of a struggle and gritted protests. And there she was, thrashing against the guards that pulled her along like a prisoner. Ignis couldn't describe the rage he felt upon watching her treatment. Rue caught sight of them, scowling.

"What the hell is this? You have a goddamn warrant out for my arrest?!"

"Put her down!" Rayne barked, irritated. The guards dropped her immediately and Rue gave them the finger before hurrying over to the group. Prompto crushed her in a hug as she spoke, her eyes dull and red and her voice hoarse.

"I'm so sorry about the wait, guys," she started, breathlessly stumbling over her words. Prompto stepped back, beaming. "They closed off my only exit right after I got there. But that's not important." Rue was blinking profusely, unsteady on her feet as she rocked back and forth, full of anxious energy. Ignis resisted the urge to help balance her. "They're planning to attack the Citadel on Monday, but they're staying outside. Something about drawing Noctis out so they can take him."

"Why Monday?" Rayne frowned, shaking her head. "No, I don't care. Are you feeling alright?" Rue forced a weak smile.

"I'm  _great_." She looked over at Ignis. "I'm sorry; I should've listened to you." Ignis shook his head. "No, really. I'm a dumb—whoa." She nearly toppled over to her left, caught by Prompto and held upright tiredly. She laughed. "Damn. Wasn't expecting that."

"Prompto, go get her a potion and some water," Rayne commanded, taking hold of Rue's arm. "She looks like she's been through Hell and back."

"Huh," Rue scoffed. "I sat in one place for three days."

"Go."

Prompto obeyed, eager to help. Ignis watched as Rue's attention wavered in and out, her limbs shaking and her eyes wandering. Rayne shot him a look before turning back to Prompto when he came running with a few potions and a water bottle.

"Here!"

Rayne immediately forced a potion into Rue's hand; the shower of sparks seemed to wake her up instantly. Her pale blue eyes turned to Prompto and she smiled, gratefully taking a long drink of water.

"Thanks. Sorry I'm such a wreck."

"Sorry for sending you alone," Rayne replied, laughing half-heartedly.

"Are we returning to the endless apology cycle?" Ignis asked, arching an eyebrow. Rayne frowned, confused, but Rue laughed, shaking her head and stepping closer to him.

"Not today. Do you have my stuff?"

"Right here." He pulled her phone and her keys from his pocket, handing them over. His chest tightened when her fingers ran over his hands gingerly. She smiled up at him.

"Thanks."

"Iggy, can you give her a ride home?" Rayne asked. Ignis cleared his throat, finding his words caught.

"Yes, of course. Are you ready to leave now?"

Rue nodded, shuddering in her soaked jacket. Ignis grabbed his car keys from his other pocket and wordlessly led the way to his car. Rue's footsteps were unsteady as she stumbled her way into the passenger's seat. Perhaps that potion didn't heal all her ailments after all. Sighing, he started his car and pulled out of the parking space. Rue tried to turn on her phone, but it was dead. He wished that he'd charged it.

"Anything exciting happen while I was gone?" she asked, watching the world pass in a blur as they sped up. Ignis shook his head.

"We simply awaited your return."

"Aw, you missed me?" she teased, facing him. He didn't reply, but a slight smile tugged at his lips.

"Rayne was certainly anxious. She didn't want to break any bad news to Prompto."

"Yeah?" She chewed on her cheek, a nervous tick Ignis couldn't help but note every time he caught it. "And what about you?" He stopped at the red light, taking the opportunity to glance away from the road. She waited expectantly for an answer.

"I suppose I was worried as well," he replied stiffly. "I can't help but feel responsible for your prolonged stay."

"Hey, I was the moron that didn't listen," she reminded him. "Don't beat yourself up." Ignis frowned, continuing to her apartment. He was grateful it was so close by; not only was he getting increasingly uncomfortable, but she was soaked to the bone and shivering miserably.

"Here we are," he said coolly, pulling into a parking space.

Rue opened her door, opening her mouth to say something as she stepped out. Suddenly, she slipped on the wet pavement and she would've cracked her skull on the ground if it wasn't for her white-knuckled grip on the door. Ignis sighed, exiting the car. By the time he got to her side, she was dragging herself back up to her feet unsteadily. She flashed a sheepish smile.

"Wasn't expecting that," she joked, shuddering. He shook his head, looking up at the bright lights of the towering building.

"I'll go up with you," he offered, turning back to her. She sighed.

"I wish I could say I don't need the help," she muttered.

With wobbly steps, she headed toward the doors. Ignis stepped inside behind her, looking around the familiar entrance, recognizing the place he used to go to visit Rayne years before. It had definitely changed since the Fall. He kept an eye on Rue as she led the way to the elevator and squinted at the buttons on the way before hitting her floor number.

"Left my damn contacts in that whole time," she muttered to herself, leaning back against the wall. Ignis took a deep breath; the confined space was stuffy.

Finally, the elevator dinged and she carefully led the way to her door, stopping and pressing a hand to the wall to steady herself while she unlocked the door. Ignis cleared his throat.

"Will you be alright from here?" he asked. She frowned, pulling the key out of the lock. Shaking her head, she turned to face him.

"Yeah, I should be okay."

He moved to leave when she lunged forward and pulled him into a tight hug, tucking her head under his chin. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. Her clothes drenched his, but he couldn't feel it. He felt her laugh before he heard it.

"Thanks for everything, Iggy."

He  _ached._

"Of course," he managed to say, forcing his composure when she pulled away and offered him a smile.

"Sorry that I got you all wet."

"It's no problem. The rain would do it regardless."

She nodded, opening her door and stepping past the threshold. Ignis turned and made a beeline for the elevator. Finding it empty, he waited for the doors to close and sank back against the wall, catching his breath desperately as if he'd just run a marathon without stopping once for air.  _What's wrong with me?_ His eyes slid shut and he pushed up his glasses, unable to shake the warmth of her embrace and the genuine happiness in her eyes. Happiness that he...

Ignis shook his head, straightening and heading toward his car. He was  _dangerously_ close to repeating a cycle, and this one had nothing to do with apologies.

Once inside, Rue closed the door and slouched against her wall, taking a deep breath. It smelled like home. Her nose still carried the scent of Ignis's shirt or cologne or whatever it was that made her feel so warm. She shook her head and kicked off her shoes. Her feet screamed with relief, finally free. Nothing would feel better than her pillow behind her head and her blankets wrapped around her body. But first, a shower to—Her heart stopped as a movement caught her attention. Breathless, she met his sullen hazel eyes and watched as he hugged his arms to his body, insecure.

"Eren."

Her voice was just barely raised over a whisper. Her hands trembled as she shoved them into her pockets, and this time it wasn't because of her low blood sugar. His eyes lowered to the floor and he heaved a sigh.

"Rue, I..." Eren cleared his throat, sounding choked. "I know you don't want to see me, but I can't let your last memories of me be the ones of what I was these past few weeks." Rue couldn't do anything but stare. It worked, though, because he had a lot to say. "I... had no right to say the things I did or to treat you the way I treated you." He swallowed hard, finally meeting her gaze. "If I could take back the last two weeks of our lives, I would, I swear. I'm disgusted with myself.

"After I came back and you saw me..." His voice cut off and he tightened his arms on his chest. "I was afraid that you'd leave because I was weak. It's no excuse for what I did. I manipulated you into thinking I needed you because I wanted you to need me." Even as far away as she was, Rue could see the tears pooling in his eyes. "Gods, Rue. I don't know what's wrong with me, calling you all those things and putting my hands on you and burning that photo of Ana..." Rue tore her eyes away, shivering.

"I guess I'm saying all that to say that I really am sorry. I wish I could take it all back." He laughed to himself around a shuddering breath. "I wish I could make you believe that I'm not just trying to get you back. I really just..." He choked up, running a hand through his hair. "I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm in love with you and I just want to see you happy, even if that means I'm never in the picture again."

"Eren..." Rue said again, unable to process his words in her exhausted state. He shook his head.

"I said what I need to say. I'll leave now."

Eren walked forward and reached around her to take hold of the doorknob. Rue pressed her lips together. She should have let him go, let him go his way and find another girl to love. But she  _couldn't_. Her hand shot forward and gripped his arm, holding him still. He stopped moving altogether, closing his eyes and sighing. She knew he just wanted to leave and deal with the pain on his own, but...  _She_ didn't want to be alone again.

"Stay. Please." Her voice was broken, raw. Eren shook his head.

"I can't, Rue. You'll hate yourself for that."

"Eren." Rue stepped back to catch his eye. "Look at me. You're not the guy I told to leave. Do you understand?" His brow furrowed, but he didn't reply. A small smile graced her lips as a realization dawned on her heart and genuine joy filled her expression. "Eren, that wasn't you.  _This_ is you."

"I don't..." He stammered, clearly surprised. "You're sure?"

"I'm positive," she insisted, reaching up and combing her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. "I told you to get your shit together, didn't I?"

"Yeah." He wrestled with a smile, still uncertain. "I... don't know what to say."

"For once," she teased, standing on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. The warmth of his hands on her waist spend to her heart; this was  _right._ Her fingers dug into his hair and pulled him closer. Her heart was pounding relentlessly. She had to force herself to pull back before they got too carried away. "I'm serious, Eren. Stay." He nodded, pushing his glasses up.

"Okay."

"I have to shower, but if you want to hang out here or in the bedroom while you wait..." She trailed off, point made. He nodded, carefully pulling off his shoes.

Rue smiled, heading for the bathroom. Her veins were buzzing with a new life that carried her through her shower with cheerful humming when mere minutes before she could hardly stand on her own two feet. She dried her hair quickly while her heart sang a thousand songs of overjoyed serenity. When she left the bathroom, Eren was waiting, sitting on the edge of her bed and staring at his hands. He looked up upon hearing her come nearer, smiling at her baggy t-shirt. She came to stand before him, eyebrow raised as he peered up at her.

"This again?" he asked, tugging on the bottom edge of her shirt. Goosebumps prickled up across her skin when his knuckles brushed her legs.

"I'm sorry, does this offend you?" she demanded playfully, eyeing her pajamas. "What would you suggest?"

"Hm," he hummed, unable to keep his grin from spreading. "Is nothing an option?"

"Pervert," she scoffed, smacking the side of his head. Her face burned redder by the second. Giving in to his tugging, she sat down, pressing her knees into the mattress on either side of his lap. She laughed when she felt a twitch. "Already? Wow, Eren. Control yourself." He averted his eyes with bright red ears, grinning.

"Take it as a compliment," he replied smoothly. She laughed, leaning forward to kiss him again.  _This is right._ She shuddered again when his hands slid up beneath her shirt, warm fingers running up her sides until they found what they were searching for. His lips trailed down her neck and she closed her eyes, heart hammering in her chest while her hands fumbled blindly with his belt. So, so right.

Rue rolled to her feet, panting as Rayne hopped backward, clearly pleased as her gunblade vanished in a shower of blue sparks. She could feel someone watching her, but she when she turned to see who it was, Gladio was talking to Prompto and Ignis was preoccupied with something on his phone. Frowning, Rue turned back to Rayne just as the warrior threw a sweaty arm over her shoulders.

"Nice! Next time pay more attention, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll try," Rue replied, heart fluttering at the memory of Eren's face this morning when he woke up and realized where he was.  _Enraptured._ She felt her face go red and Rayne grinned, shoving her shoulder.

"What's got you lookin' all warm 'n mushy?" she demanded. Rue pressed her lips together, meeting the curious gazes of the others in the room.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"Rue, what'd you do?" Rayne huffed, already dreading the younger woman's words.

"Stop it! It's nothing  _bad_ , I just..." She shook her head, crossing her arms and throwing a hip out to the side. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face. "Ignis dropped me off last night—" Ignis looked up sharply at the sound of his name being a part of her "warm and mushy" feelings—"and  _Eren_ was in my house."

"Oh, please tell me you beat his ass," Rayne groaned, taking Gladio's hand when he wrapped his arm around her middle and pressing her back to his stomach. Rue sheepishly grinned at the ground. "Rue, you  _did not."_

"Okay, to be fair, we  _did_ talk and he really was—"

" _Rue!"_ Rayne's mouth hung open and she reached out to swat her arm. "Stop! You're gonna get yourself in trouble again!"

"It's what I do best," Rue huffed, rolling her eyes. "I swear it's different, though." She turned to look at Prompto and Ignis. Prompto forced a smile onto his face, but Ignis simply stared without expression. Rue felt her heart sinking, so she turned away, looking back at Rayne.

"Was it just a one-time thing?"

"I don't know..." Rue answered, wrestling a grin. Rayne groaned and hit her again. This time, Gladio rolled his eyes and held her arms to her body, shooting Rue a look.

"Sorry. She can't control herself."

"Fuck  _off."_ Rayne huffed, laying her head back on his shoulder. Prompto laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Man, love's in the air, huh?" he joked, clearly uncomfortable being so close to the display to his right.

Rue cringed, averting her eyes when Gladio's voice lowered into that stupid little tone he only ever used when those two were being all gross and mushy. She couldn't even understand what they were saying, but the quiet cooing and giggling were a little too much for her. Normally, she'd exchange a look with Ignis, but he refused to look her in the eye. She sighed, defeated and perhaps a touch hurt.  _Tomorrow,_ she told herself, grinning when Eren walked into the room with a few members of the Glaive.

Ignis glanced up when Rue waved at someone across the room, instantly defensive when he saw Eren walking toward them with that stupid grin on his face. He hugged her tightly from behind, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Ignis didn't care about all the sudden, strange PDA that was going on around him. It was the look in Rue's eyes when she looked up at the very same man that had torn her to pieces, broken her,  _hit_ her that pained him the most. How could anyone that  _disgusting_ bring her any joy? At least the men Rayne had been with through her life had been decent people.

His gut twisted and his phone almost slipped between his fingers. Swallowing hard, Ignis shoved the device into his pocket and headed toward the doors without another word, nearly  _gasping_ to fill his constricted chest with air.  _It's not the same._ Rayne and Rue... It just wasn't a proper comparison. There was a different explanation as to why he felt this way—there had to be. But it was so painfully familiar... It felt the same.  _It's not the same._ Clenching his jaw tightly, Ignis returned to his office and stared out his window at the Citadel gates where Rue would be fighting tomorrow with all the rest of the glaives. He drowned the anxious energy in his veins with a cold stare, but he couldn't stop the pain it caused.  _It's not the same._


	44. Thief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You're the One I Want" by Switchfoot

Rue hardly slept that night, tossing and turning until Eren weighed her down with his arms. Even then, she was restless, unable to keep her eyes closed. Would they survive the battle? It was hard to imagine that a group of kids wielding guns would be able to overtake a bunch of trained soldiers, but then again, the psychology behind murdering a group of kids might be the soldiers’ downfall.  _Could I kill a kid?_ She sighed, screwing her eyes shut.  _Yeah. I could._ And there she was hating the people who thought the very same about her daughter. Her heart stung.  _This is different._

Finally, the sun rose over the horizon and Rue turned over, brushing Eren’s hair out of his face. She could hardly wait until nighttime so that she could get a full night’s rest, curled up against his side. He stirred awake slowly, stretching his arms overhead as he yawned. He blinked his eyes open and raised an eyebrow, finding her watching him.

“Yes?”

“Good morning,” she murmured, tapping the tip of his nose with her finger. He scoffed, sitting up and pulling away the blankets to stand. “Dude, what did I tell you about sleeping naked in my bed?”

“Sorry,” he blurted, pulling on his clothes. “I just forget, and then before I know it, I’ve passed out.”

“Uh huh,” Rue scoffed, standing and dragging her Glaive uniform from the closet.  _This is it._ “Stop watching me change.”

“I’m not,” he lied, turning away to check his phone. “Ready for today?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she huffed, buttoning up the front of her coat. She stepped in front of the mirror, smoothing out the material. Eren whistled.

“Damn, that looks good on you.”

“Yeah?” she frowned, pulling at the jacket. It made her look bulky. Eren pressed a kiss to her cheek when he passed by, heading for the kitchen.

“Yeah.”

The morning was slow, but Rue liked it that way, drinking her coffee while she watched the sunrise. Eren cooed at Honey beside her, having earned the cat’s favor the very day he met her. Rue finished her coffee with a sigh and watching them for a bit before standing.

“We should probably get going.”

“Yeah.” Eren kissed Honey’s head and tapped her fuzzy pink nose. “See you later, missy.”

Honey meowed loudly in protest when he left his seat on the couch. He shot Rue one last smile before pulling his boots on and leading the way to his car. She climbed in without a word, nervous. Eren seemed to sense her anxiety, reaching over and resting his hand on her knee.

“It’ll be alright.”

“You don’t think anyone will die?”

“I didn’t say  _that_ , but I think we’ll be alright.”

She nodded, staring out the window the whole way to the Citadel. The silence was comfortable. When the car stopped in the garage, Eren turned to face her again, pressing a finger to his glasses.

“You ready?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, picking at her fingers. He nodded, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I think you are.”

“At least someone does,” she teased, getting to her feet. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, heading in the opposite direction.

Rue entered the Citadel from the heavy steel door that led to the floor below the Crownsguard’s floor, hurrying up the stairs. Rayne’s office door was open and so she walked right in, holding out her arms.

“Look okay?”

“Looks great,” Rayne grinned, glancing down to scribble a signature onto a paper before standing and coming closer. “It needs a little tailoring, but if you train hard enough, you’ll probably grow into it.” Rue wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that.

“Probably,” she repeated, shaking her hair out of her face. “When do you think we should be down there?”

“I have eyes everywhere,” Rayne replied, crossing her arms and throwing a hip out to the side. “But if I had to guess, I’d say late morning to midday. It didn’t sound like they were depending on the element of surprise.”

“And you think we’re ready?”

“Rue, the guy’s crazy. As much as he sounds prepared, he really doesn’t know what he’s up against. He gets one good hit on Dex and suddenly he thinks he’s a goddamn war hero.” She rolled her eyes. “Even Noct is coming out to keep an eye on things, though, so I guess everyone’s really excited.”  _For manslaughter? That’s morbid._ “ _Anyway,_ could you do me a huge favor and give this mug to Ignis? I accidentally stole it from his house last week.”

“Sure,” Rue huffed, taking the black mug into her hands and heading back out into the hall.

Not even Prompto was there yet; it was strange. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself to infiltrate the Crabby Cave and pushed the door open slowly. Ignis looked up from his place by the window. For once, he wasn’t sitting over a pile of papers. She offered a smile and closed the door behind her.

“Hey. I have a delivery from Rayne.”

“What is it?” he asked, eyeing her uniform.

Rue held up the mug, stepping forward to set it on the desk. She stepped around it to peer down at the ground from the window, keeping the slightest amount of space between her and the advisor. Guards bustled about as if today was like any other; the calm scene worked wonders on her nerves. Ignis stood by her in silence, staring outside over her head. Finally, she broke the quiet, turning to look up at him.

“You ready?”

“I suppose,” he replied indifferently. Clearly, he had something else to say.

“ _But?_ ” she pressed. He sighed, nudging his glasses upward.

“I’m not sure this is the cause you should fight for,” he said. She frowned.

“Cause?”

“Are you certain you’re prepared?” he asked, obviously dreading her response. “This isn’t a question of strength, Rue. I know you can handle the fight.”

“Why do you ask?” she huffed, crossing her arms and scowling up at him. “What, just because my own kid’s dead I’m not capable of—”

“That’s not at all what I meant, and you know it,” Ignis interrupted sharply. Rue rolled her eyes.

“Fine. Give me one  _good_ reason that I shouldn’t be out there.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“It’s…?” Rue laughed sardonically. “You’re joking, right?  _Driving_ is dangerous, but you don’t see me complaining every time you get behind the wheel.”

“This isn’t the same thing.”

“No?” She very quickly discovered just how irritable she was. “People are  _dying,_ Ignis!” He frowned, glancing back at his desk.

“People are always dying.”

“People are always—!” Rue couldn’t believe her ears. “You’re kidding me, right?! Where the hell is Ignis and what have you done with him?” Ignis shot her an unamused look. “You had  _zero_ problem putting me in danger when you asked me to come to Altissia—”

“I didn’t realize—”

“And now, suddenly, you’re on this hero kick where you’ve made it your life mission to be my fucking protector!”

“I’ve done no such thing,” he bit back sourly. “I’m looking out for a friend. You can’t possibly understand why—”

“It’s because I’m just a dumb bitch, right?” she demanded. “Isn’t that how you see me?” Rue was sick of pouting and beating around the bush. She wanted to know why he was putting her through this. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t fight!” she demanded again, getting in his face. Ignis’s eyes met hers and refused to look away, just as his lips refused to speak. Gritting her teeth and biting back the urge to shout, she grabbed hold of his stupid animal print collar and jerked him down to her level. “Why does danger matter all of a sudden?!”

“Rue—” Ignis started, his voice quiet. She shook him and he took hold of her hands to keep her from doing it again.

“Don’t ‘Rue’ me, just answer the damn question!” She felt her anger cooling as they stood there in silence, face to face. For a moment, Ignis looked  _frightened._ It took her aback, but she needed to know. “Iggy, why—”

Rue’s heart stopped with her words, cut off by a kiss she never would have expected in a thousand lifetimes. 

Time slowed to a crawl as her grip loosened and a gloved hand gingerly brushed her cheek, tilting her face upward. Lost in shock and the heat of the moment, her hands fell from his collar and curled up against his chest, shaking with startled excitement by the new sensation. An insatiable hunger overtook the inhibitions that were drowned by her lack of sense; she wanted more, more,  _more._ His touch was gentle, cautious, not at all like Er—

On second thought, she wanted absolutely nothing.

With a gasp, Rue jerked away so quickly that she almost stumbled over desk leg and landed on her ass. She stared at Ignis in disbelief, unable to fathom what just happened. The advisor’s eyes were directed anywhere but her, ashamed.  _Why?_ She stood there, dumbfounded, opening and closing her mouth as she meant to speak, but no words came. She felt sick, covered in a film of cold sweat. Her stomach twisted in a thousand knots. Ignis closed his eyes, taking a breath that  _she_ couldn’t seem to catch.

“Rue, I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t,” she snapped, hands curling into fists. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care.”

He finally looked at her, watching her hurry to the door.  _He’s just like the others._ Shaking, she turned to face him once more, her eyes cold.

“Don’t ever _fucking_  touch me again.”

Ignis watched her go numbly, turning his eyes back to the window. His body still burned with the warmth of her touch; his heart still struggled to keep a steady rhythm.  _It’s exactly the same._

Rue wasn’t sure what to do with herself as she hurried down the hall. She didn’t hear Rayne when she called after her, keeping her eyes dead ahead and keeping her chin up. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed and hide from the world. He hadn’t done anything that Cam would’ve by any means, and yet, she felt so betrayed. She was disgusted, but it wasn’t by him; it was by herself.  _What the hell just happened?_

“Rue!”

Rue stopped in her tracks, jumping when Relir threw an arm around her shoulders and ruffled her hair. Dex sighed, standing aside and waiting with his arms crossed.

“You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Relir teased. “This looks good on you!”

“Does it?” Rue asked, forcing herself to focus on the present. “When should we head out there?”

“In my  _expert_  opinion, I think we should be out there waiting right now,” Relir shrugged. Dex raised an eyebrow.

“What, so they can see how prepared we are and change their plan of attack?”

“Let’s be real, Dex,” she scoffed, combing her fingers through her cropped black hair and shooting Rue a look. “It’s been a few days; they’ve probably already changed their plan of attack. That’s why some guys are staying inside.” Rue nodded, lips pressed into a thin smile. She was still cold and clammy, freshly dragged from the deep horror of her actions. “Seriously, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rue insisted, pulling away from Relir’s touch as she heard footsteps behind them. Her heart pounded as she envisioned Ignis running after her to force an apology down her throat and cause a scene.  _No, he wouldn’t._ Her fears were quelled when she saw Rayne heading toward them, her finger pointed dead ahead.

“They’re coming. Let’s go.”

Feeling her body wrestle between feeling gross and the excitement of her anticipation, Rue took a deep, slow breath and followed the woman’s quick, long steps. Relir cracked her knuckles, explaining some stupid video she saw online to Dex, who hardly looked like he was listening. She didn’t miss the looks Rayne threw at her from the corner of her eye, but she couldn’t bear to meet them for fear of losing her grip.  _After this, I can cut ties and just pretend it never happened._ Her heart fluttered.  _But if they’re all friends… Does that mean I lose Rayne and Prompto, too? One notice of my screw up and Rayne’ll tear me to pieces._ She sighed, shaking her head.  _No, I can’t be thinking about this now._

“Last I saw, they were headed toward the gates,” Rayne explained, squeezing past a trio of guards. “He’s got, like, twenty kids with him.”

“That’s all?” Rue frowned. “I thought there might’ve been more since he sounded so confident.”

“Yeah, well, he might’ve had more before, but he’s been throwing so many of them into battles they can’t possibly win,” Relir pointed out. “It’s like he’s been purposely losing resources to narrow down the bunch.”

“It’s sick,” Rue muttered, turning her eyes to the floor.  _Maybe he was right._

“It’ll be hard,” Rayne admitted. “Usually, you can just say that the people you’re fighting made the choice to oppose you, but, well…” She sighed, reaching up to tighten her ponytail and turning over her shoulder to smile at Rue. “I’ll pay for your therapy, how’s that?”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Hey, no problem.”

Her eyes flickered over to the doors of the Citadel as a pair of guards pulled them wide open, allowing them out toward the large courtyard out front. Sure enough, there stood a large group of kids whose ages ranged from twelve to eighteen, dressed in dark, heavy clothes and staring at the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard members who waited on the other side of the fence. Rue could see Eren from where she stood, feeling sick the instant her eyes met his.  _What have I done?_ He flashed a grin and waved to his friends, who waved back, eyeing Rue with confusion.

Before anyone could ask, a middle-aged man stepped forward from the crowd behind the gate, clasping his hands behind his back and striding toward the ornate iron bars. At Rayne’s nod, the gates creaked open and the group slowly filtered inside. His beady eyes scanned the soldiers that waited for his first move; a smug smile twisted his lips.

“So, you think you’re prepared for the fight we’ll put up, do you?” he called out, his hoarse voice carrying across the open air at just enough volume for Rue to hear his words. “But you’re sloppy. You  _dogs_ serve a master whose only intention is to chase wild, childish dreams regardless of the consequences.”

“Say it to my face.”

Rue turned to see Noctis standing to her right, accompanied by Ignis and Gladio. She turned her eyes away before the advisor caught her looking; she wasn’t sure she could ever look him in the eye again. The young king stood straight, staring out across the pavement to the man. She recognized his pristine clothing as the same outfit his father used to wear in public or on television.  _It must be hard._ The man, Jared Marks, grinned, flashing his yellowed teeth.

“My apologies, sir, but I hope you don’t expect me to  _bow.”_

“I don’t mind.”

“Do you know why we’re here?” Marks continued, pacing forward. A guard quickly pointed his gun at the man’s head, glancing toward Rayne. Irritated, she signaled for him to lower the weapon. Marks only chuckled at the interaction.

“Enlighten me.”

“We don’t like what you’re doing nor what you’ve done, to be frank.” Marks placed his hands on his hips. “Do you see all these children? All these lost ones who had nowhere else to go because of the Darkness  _you_ brought on?” Rue raised an eyebrow; he was doing all this because he was  _misinformed._ “All these wonderful creatures who were rescued from the ashes of a nation you can’t repair because you’re far too busy—pardon my language—kissing ass?” Noctis frowned. “There are hundreds more who suffer and who are not yet saved, and yet, still you turn a blind eye to their pain for your own favor.”

“You call brainwashing  _children_ into getting themselves killed salvation?” Rayne demanded. Marks arched an eyebrow.

“I’m not talking to you,  _dog.”_

“You think that bringing them all here before you get them killed will change the world?” Noctis asked. Marks’s lips curled into a devilish smile.

“You’re wrong again, I’m afraid. These children are stronger than your entire army, all branches combined.” He shook his head, chuckling. “Though, I see words won’t get through to you. Now, all of you standing around in preparation to fight in honor of this man who is so clearly willing to throw your lives away for his own sake, I give you the opportunity to join the  _right_ side before this all begins. You likely won’t be able to keep up, but we will defend you as brothers.”

Rue stared at him blankly, exchanging a look with Relir. The guy seriously thought they were so afraid of him that they’d be willing to “join” the kids and fight their own men?  _He’s a nutjob._  When he received similar reactions from the rest of the crowd, Marks sighed, shaking his balding head and turning back to face his small army. Rue had hoped some would change their minds; none of them had so much as blinked.

“He trains his pets well,” he said. He clutched a jagged knife in his hand, turning it over and over and over. “Very well. They’ll have it their way.” He straightened. “It’s time. I wish you all well. Fight!”

Before anyone could think, the children were shouting at the tops of their lungs and rushing at the guards, weapons of all sorts raised over their heads. Rayne’s troops hesitated, blocking attacks quickly in hopes that someone would call the bloodshed off. No such luck. Finally, a woman that Rue recognized as Gale set off the first round of shots. She swallowed hard and buried any semblance of morality, summoning her sword and rushing out onto the field to assist in any way she could.

Almost immediately, she was rushed by an older girl with a pair of rusty daggers. Quickly, she blocked the blow and moved to strike the weapons from her hands. The girl was faster, leaping out of the way and trying to slash at Rue’s back. Rue gritted her teeth, kicking her away. With bright, angry eyes, the girl raised her arms and slammed her blades down on Rue’s, screaming.

“You killed her!” she shouted, shoving Rue back.

“Who?” Rue demanded, regaining her balance and blocking another blow. Her heart ached for the girl’s pain, wishing she could quit the fighting and comfort her instead.

“Who?!” The girl lunged at her, missing in her blind rage. “ _Grace!”_

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“You have one now,” she snarled, swinging her blades at Rue’s face.

Rue barely had time to duck before someone shot the girl through the head, feeling her blood splatter into her hair as the body fell. Stumbling back to her feet, she swiveled around to see Gale scowling at her. Taking a deep breath, Rue nodded her thanks and hurried toward the pair of boys she saw fighting the girl that guarded the throne room door. Willing for her mental apologies to be heard and accepted, she ran forward and dragged her sword upward, slicing across the boy’s skin before she brought it back down again over his head. The girl kicked the other boy off the end of her blade, startled to see that she’d received help.

Panting, Rue turned to see how everyone else was, realizing with alarm that they’d so  _easily_ taken down most of Marks’s “army” already, littering the Citadel with bodies and pools of blood. Her stomach churned. Noctis stood at the top of the stairs, looking conflicted as his friends fended off anyone who dared to get close enough to him. 

Rue noticed that Dex was fighting a trio of kids on his own, swinging his sword round and round as though he was bored. Anxious to be useful, she hurried across the pavement, thrusting her sword through the chest of an older boy and watching him topple over when she pulled it free. Dex slashed down the front of the last of the three, kicking her to the ground and turning to force a smile for Rue. She shook her head, hearing the gunfire begin to die down. She realized with half-horror, half-relief that she hadn’t seen the boy named Alex. Not yet, anyway.

“I hate this.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” he admitted, glancing down at the bodies by his feet. “Maybe I don’t deserve to. This is just… It’s just so  _wrong_.”

“I know.” Rue looked up at the stairs where Noctis stood. He looked as though he was in pain, averting his eyes from the scene.  _Even he wants absolutely nothing to do with this._

“Do you think—”

“ _Eren!”_

Rue turned sharply at the sound of Relir’s scream, feeling her heart stop when she saw Marks holding Eren to his chest, pressing his jagged blade to the young man’s throat and sneering. There were tears streaking down the maniac’s cheeks as he spoke, his voice filled with hatred and desperation.

“Is this what you wanted,  _Highness?!_ To watch the ones below your boots be crushed and kill their problems alongside their bodies?!” Eren gritted his teeth, struggling. Marks laughed bitterly, pressing the knife down harder. A thin stream of blood trickled from Eren’s neck and trailed into the high collar of his uniform. Rue was petrified, frozen to the place she stood. “Tell you what,  _Majesty._ You want this young man to live? Come out here and hand yourself over to me. Tell your people what you’ve done:  _slaughtered their youth and stolen their freedom!”_

“Noct—” Rayne started, cut off when Marks shouted again.

“Come on over or I’ll kill him!” he screamed, eyes bugging out of his head. Rue couldn’t breathe, feeling her body go numb; her eyes turned to the guards on higher ground behind him.  _Just shoot the guy through the head. **Please.**_

“No,” Gladio said firmly, holding a burly arm out in front of Noctis when he took a hesitant step forward. Rue’s heart stung. She knew he couldn’t go; that’d be ridiculous. He’d be done for. She dug her teeth into her lip, tasting blood as she closed her eyes. She willed herself to wake up.

“No?” Marks repeated, cackling. “Let him decide, you big beefy moron! His soldier’s life is at stake.” His eyes narrowed and he looked around at the rest of the Glaive, who stood in helpless silence. “Or let him show these sops how much they really mean to him!” Rue opened her eyes to see that everything was the same. She could taste the bile at the back of her throat.

“I…” Noctis looked to Ignis for help. The advisor stared blankly at the soldier writhing in the madman’s arms, unaffected by his wide, pleading eyes and his white knuckles.

“Three!” Marks sang out, striking a renewed fear in their hearts.

“Ignis, I can’t just leave him,” Noct said, scowling when Gladio stopped him again.

“You can’t risk your life for his,” the shield replied sharply.

“Two!”

“Dex,” Rue heard herself whisper, feeling a warm hand grip her wrist in a reassuring touch.

“One!” She bit down on her tongue. Marks cackled, throwing his head back. “You know what, I think he’ll live a little longer. How about we strike a new deal, hm?” Rue felt her muscles relax just a little bit, desperately thinking of ways to buy Eren time. “How about you stay there, and I blow up this—Whoops!”

His laughter was louder in Rue’s ears than the gunshots were; she couldn’t even hear the blood-curdling scream that tore through her own throat as she fell to the ground. She couldn’t feel the impact of the hard concrete striking her knees as Eren’s back hit the ground beside Marks’s, their blood mixing into a crimson cocktail of good versus evil. Fighting off Dex’s comforting hands, Rue scrambled to her feet, slipping on the slick cement, and sprinted toward Eren’s side with all the strength she could muster. Panicked and unable to catch her breath, she fell on all fours over his body, pressing her hands to his throat to stop the bleeding. Her tears stained his jacket and his blood coated her fingers.

“Please,” she sobbed, realizing that she didn’t have any phoenix down on her. She looked to her left to see Rayne already at her side, kneeling and reaching for Eren’s hand. “Save him!”

Rayne didn’t reply, clutching his hand in hers and pressing his knuckles to her forehead, eyes screwed shut. Her lips moved in silent prayer. Eren stared up at Rue with an empty gaze, choking beneath her. She reached up a hand to brush his hair out of his face, smearing blood across his cheek.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she promised him in a trembling voice. It felt as though someone had buried their nails into her chest and ripped her heart out mercilessly, crushing it in their palms. She took hold of his other hands, pressing his knuckles to her lips. “You’ll be okay.” Eren didn’t reply, looking over her face with those empty, empty eyes. Rayne swore under her breath, brows tightly knit together. With one last shaky cough, Eren’s hazel eyes slid shut, his body shuddering. Rue only cried harder, leaning forward to press her forehead to his. “ _Please._ ”

“I can’t get through,” Rayne murmured, rocking back onto her heels in defeat.

“Try harder!” Rue demanded, unable to see her face clearly through the tears. Rayne only shook her head with a sad expression, unsure of what else to say.

“He’s gone, Rue.”

“No, he’s  _not_ ,” she insisted weakly, feeling her body collapse onto itself as it, too, gave up. “No, he’s…”

The agony of her realization dragged her to the ground, her shoulders shaking as she gasped for breath in the spaces between gut-wrenching sobs. A hand gently ran up and down her arm, trying to ease her pain, but she hardly felt it. She hugged her knees to her chest, her hands glued to her legs by Eren’s drying lifeblood. That smile, those dorky jokes, the stupid text messages, and the ever-so-gentle kisses… They were gone.

The world played some sick joke on her by miraculously bringing him back—and she took the bait. No more teasing and morning coffee and painful laughter… It was all gone. Never again would she see his eyes shining behind those glasses, overjoyed simply because he was with her. Never again would the dinners with Relir and Dex be bearable. Never again would she feel completely, wholly understood. It was a sick, sick joke.

“Hey,” Relir said gently as Rue slowly began to calm down, fading from inconsolable to numb. “Let’s get you home.”

“I don’t want to be alone,” Rue whispered, staring at Eren’s body with an immovable lump in her throat.

“You won’t be,” her friend promised. “We’re coming with.”

Rue looked up to see that Relir’s face was red and streaked with tears. Dex was unreadable.  _I guess we all lost him._ With a shaky breath, Rue nodded, letting her hair fall into her face to hide from the world. Still, she caught Noctis’s guilty stare, Prompto’s longing to shower her in sympathy, Ignis’s—Rue tore her eyes away, angry. She wasn’t even sure why. At least Eren would never hear of her shortcoming that day.  _I’m disgusting._

Arms linked together tightly, she and Relir followed Dex to their car, silently piling into the backseat. Rue stared down at her lap, feeling the tears beginning to dry on her cheeks. She didn’t want to go home; there were too many memories there. But she couldn’t bother to ask if they could go somewhere else, so when the complex came into view, she broke down all over again, leaning her head on Relir’s shoulder and closing her eyes so that she at least didn’t have to see Dex’s pitiful glances at them in the rearview mirror.

It may have been Eren’s body that laid on the ground, but it was Rue’s spirit that died.

 


	45. Starting Anew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Jack and Blow" by Atta Boy

The couch pressed against her legs, heating her pale skin and absorbing the warmth from the body that bundled atop it in thin, patchy blankets. Unwashed hair splayed out across the smooth faux leather, freshly trimmed back to a length that just barely brushed the tops of her shoulders. On the floor, Honey batted at fingers that had gone numb from the chill of the apartment hours before. The body stirred and turned over; the hollowed cheeks pressed into a gap in the cushions. The sun cast shadows across the room that complimented splashes of yellow light. Rosy lips parted only when she yawned; blue eyes fluttered open to see emptiness.

With a deep breath, Rue heaved herself upward, swinging her legs off the couch and pressing her toes to the rough carpet. Honey cried for her attention, rubbing against her legs. Absently, Rue smoothed the cat's fur as she looked around at the stacks of boxes and bags. This was the place it all began—the friendships, the careers, the failures. It was time to leave. Perhaps a change of scenery would erase the empty feeling in her heart that recalled to her every memory that painted these walls a dismal shade of gray as they faded away. 

Stretching her arms over her head, Rue pulled on her jacket and her shoes. She'd worn the clothes she needed for today to bed knowing full well how hard it would be to get up in the morning.  _Ten thirty. They should be here any minute._ With a sigh, she stood and paced through the apartment, checking every nook and cranny for anything might've missed. Finding only a sock that she wasn't entirely sure was hers under the washer, she returned to the couch and slouched, ignoring the ache in her back. For the first time in three days, her eyes were dry, and she felt... okay. She felt pretty okay, actually. A firm knock on her door brought her back to her feet.

"Moving order for Miss Rue Corden?" the man asked, looking to be about in his mid-forties. She nodded, stepping aside and opening the door wider. He walked inside, followed by three younger men.

"That's me."

"This ain't half bad," one of the others said in a thick accent. He turned back to Rue. "What's yours other than the boxes? These tables and the couch?"

"And my bed, but yeah. That's all."

"Sweet, this'll take no time at all." He turned back to the older man to whom she'd first spoken. "Can we hit the arcade after, Pa?"

"We'll see," the man huffed, jerking his head toward her coffee table. "We don't you guys tackle some of that stuff and me 'n Nate'll hit up the bigger shit?"

"Alright."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Rue asked, jamming her hands into her pockets. He shrugged, scratching at his thin beard.

"Just bringin' down boxes would save time. Don't hurt yourself, though."

"I won't," she reassured him, reaching for a lighter stack of containers containing random odds and ends she'd discovered and hadn't had the heart to categorize. "Just set them outside the truck?"

"If you could."

She nodded, nudging Honey into the bathroom and shutting the door to keep the cat from escaping. With quick steps, she hurried down the stairs to the lobby and left the building to see the large moving truck parked in the back lot with the back wide open. She prayed that no one would steal her stuff if she left it behind, setting the boxes down on the pavement. The boys weren't far behind her with the coffee table. She thanked them and continued lugging boxes down the stairs. Some, like dishes, were heavy enough that she took the elevator and set them on the ground to give her tired bones a rest. Others she stacked high and took care not to drop them on her way outside. The whole process took less than an hour.

Rue stood inside her empty apartment, looking over the rooms with a strange feeling suppressing her heart. She hadn't seen it so bare since she moved in with her big dream of joining the Kingsglaive a little over a year before. It was hard to believe; somehow she never imagined leaving the place.  _It doesn't even look like my apartment,_ she thought.  _Guess that makes goodbye easier._ The father of the three younger men approached her, adjusting his dirty baseball cap.

"You just about ready to head out?"

"Yeah," she nodded, scooping Honey up into her arms and stuffing her into a pet carrier.  _I'm sorry, baby._ "I just need to check the drawers and everything one more time."

"My boys already looked for you," he reassured her. "We usually find all sorts of junk that people miss, but you cleaned 'er out pretty good."

"That's good," Rue sighed, nodding. "Okay, we—"

"Gods, look at this place!" Audrey gawked as she strode inside. Rue pressed her lips together, uneasily watching her former landlord stroll around.  _Is she here to look for any damages?_ Her eyes landed on Rue and she gestured for the man to leave their presence. "Are you sure there's nothing that'll keep you, Sweetheart?"

"No, I'm sure."

"This ain't about those girls, is it?" she asked in a quiet voice, eyebrows raised. "I can compensate you for any trauma if that's what it is."

"No, I..." Rue shook her head, forcing herself to keep her composure. "I just need a change of scenery, that's all. Someone else will move here in a week, you'll see."

"And you still want to pay for breaking your lease?"

"The check's already in your mailbox."

"Damn, you're really serious, then."

"Yup." Rue eyed the cat carrier nervously, but Audrey didn't seem to notice.

"Alright, well, good luck out there. Workin' for the king'll wear you out."

"More than you know," Rue replied, forcing a laugh. Audrey left without another word, disappointed that she'd be missing out on her money (even though she really wouldn't be). Sighing, she lifted Honey up and left her keys on the counter. She took one last look around and closed the door, prepared for a fresh start.

"Ready to go?" the man asked once she came outside. She nodded.

"Yeah. My taxi's here. You have the address?"

"Yes, ma'am. We'll meet you there."

Rue slid into the backseat of the car that was parked alongside the busy sidewalk, trying not to breathe the cigarette-scented air in too deeply. The driver took her directions with a grunt and sped off, narrowing his eyes on the road and weaving through traffic. Rue hardly had it in her to feel sick. They reached the calmer side of town long before the moving truck did. She paid the driver and watched him go before settling on the driveway, hand twisted between the bars of Honey's cage to stroke the cat's soft fur.

There was actual, living grass on the ground on either side of her, sharply contrasting the gray-scale home that stood behind her, a simple living space that was more than enough. The sunshine should have felt comforting and warm; her blood ran cold as ice. Her mind couldn't focus on any one thing, so it simply numbed and refused to focus at all. Finally, the truck backed up into the driveway and the movers all jumped out, ready to get her stuff inside so they could move on with their day.

By the end, Rue's arms were sore and her back was aching, but she was grateful for the help. She paid the man a generous amount and watched them go before releasing Honey and collapsing on the couch. The ceiling was high, lined with round, silver-rimmed lights. She eyed them carefully, still unable to think. Eventually, she dozed off, curled around Honey and warmed by the heat of the skylights that were cut into a different part of the roof. 

Fresh starts are exhausting.

~|~|~|~|~

Ignis stared down at the sleek floor of the throne room emptily, feeling his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose. Noctis stirred beside him restlessly and heaved a sigh. Ignis didn't hear what he said and Noct sighed again, grumbling. With a deep breath that forced him to come back to reality, Ignis pushed his glasses back up and looked down at the seated king. There was no one else in the room; their guests had left long ago.

"I apologize. What did you say?"

"You can leave if you want," Noct repeated, peering up at Ignis. "I know you have a lot of stuff on your hands after we wrapped that whole ordeal up."

"I suppose you're right," Ignis sighed, stepping forward to head down the stairs.

"Hey, Iggy."

"Yes, Highness?"

"You doing alright?" Noctis asked, sitting straighter and shrugging. "You just seem a little... off after what happened a few days ago." Ignis nodded curtly, recognizing that Noct only wanted to check on him.

"If anything, I'm simply tired. That's all."

"Okay." Noct didn't believe him, but he didn't bother with trying to pry the real answer out of him. Someone else would probably do the dirty work for him, anyway.

Ignis walked back to his office, standing straight and composed as always, but at this point, it was just as much of a habit as slouching was for most. It was near impossible to sense his inner turmoil. His hand gripped the doorknob and twisted sharply, impatient. The metal was cold, as was the air inside his office. He stepped inside quietly, avoiding looking at the seat before his desk, and sat down.

Exhausted, he pulled his glasses off and rubbed his face with his palms. What was the point in worrying any more? She hated him and wanted to be completely cut off—that much was certain. He could handle the concept from a distance, but she was bound to return any day now, under another's control. Would she be the same, or would she have dissolved into a skeleton of herself? Would she ever acknowledge him again? Just  _how_   _much_  did Rue love Eren Veritas?

"Hey, hey, look who it is."

Ignis looked up sharply, startled, to see Rayne entering his office. She closed the door behind her and plopped down into the chair—Rue's chair. She arched an eyebrow as he put his glasses back on and waited expectantly.

"What do you need?"

"Am I not allowed to talk to my friend?" she countered, crossing her legs and resting her chin on her palm. "How're you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Ignis replied, eyebrow raised. "How are you?"

"Eh, I'm okay. I think my neck's broken, though. Gladio still hasn't fixed our damn bed."

"At this point, you should just order another."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in letting him get away with this?" she sighed. Ignis frowned.

"If I recall correctly, it was  _you_ who broke it in the first place."

"And  _he_ was the one who said he would fix it," she retorted. "He has to keep his word. Otherwise, how the hell do I know if he's honest? I can't be married to a  _liar_."

"I hardly think those two things are on the same spectrum."

"You have no idea," Rayne huffed, sinking back into the chair and crossing her arms. "Seriously, though. How are you holding up? You've been so distant these past few days... Does this have anything to do with Rue, by chance?"

"Why would it?" he asked a touch too sharply. She raised her eyebrows.

"I'll be damned; it does. What happened? Did you piss her off again?" Ignis said nothing. "Gods, Ignis, what did you do? Tell her that her boyfriend was an asshole?"

"Rayne, I'm not stupid," he snapped. "I would never do such a thing, not after his death. That's hardly something a grieving person should have to hear."

"Then what did you do?" Ignis again refused to reply, unable to conjure a plausible excuse. "You're not upset about  _Eren,_ are you?"

"No," Ignis frowned. "At least, not in any regard of himself."

"But you feel bad for Rue?"

"Something like that."

"That's all?" Rayne's face clearly displayed her disbelief even before she spoke. "Iggy, you can talk to me." She tried her hand at a joke to lighten the mood. "What, you don't  _miss_ her, do you?" It was received with a scowl. "I'm serious. I just want to know what's bothering you this much."

"There's nothing bothering me," he muttered.

"Don't lie to me." His eyes feel back to the surface of his desk when he looked up to meet an angry stare. "Why don't you trust me?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned. "Of course I—"

"Then tell me why you won't let me help you."

"I don't need help."

"But obviously you do since you can't seem to figure this out on your own. It's getting everyone worked up, y'know. Prompto thinks he did something and Noct's getting sick of your moping." She leaned forward, gripping her leg. "What happened, Ignis?"

"I..." Ignis swallowed his words, eyes flitting about the room as he searched for the right words. His throat felt tight as if he was being choked.  _She can't know._ But he wanted so desperately to hand over his burden and listen to her plan of salvation. It was tempting... but could he bear to indulge in such selfishness?

"Iggy..." She reached out a hand and rested it on top of his. He couldn't keep the words contained any longer.

"I..." His heart  _squeezed_ and his voice lowered to a volume just above a whisper. "I crossed a line."

"How?"

"I... kissed her."

"You—" Rayne stared at him with wide eyes, unable to comprehend what he'd just said. Her brows were pressed together like a confused child's as she processed what that meant. "What, are you serious?"

"Do you think I'm joking?" Ignis snapped, jerking his hand away from hers and leaning as far away as he could get.  _This was a mistake._

"N-no, it's just..." Her breath puffed out in a shocked laugh and she ran a hand through her hair, falling back into her seat. "I didn't expect that from  _you."_ At his scowl, she hurried to justify her statement. "I'm sorry, but it's true! Out of everyone, I least expected  _you_ to be the one—"

"Forget I said anything," Ignis muttered, standing and pulling his jacket on. She got to her feet quickly, raising her hands. She was clutching his arms before he saw her coming around the side of the desk.

"No, I'm sorry." Despite her apologies, she couldn't help but smile. "You really like her, don't you?" Ignis's eyes were glued to the window past her head, unable to meet hers. She giggled, squealing in a near-offensive key. He flinched. " _Iggy_! Okay, okay. We're gonna make this work."

"You're—" Ignis repeated, sighing and shaking his head. "Rayne, she made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with me."

"Oh, stop," Rayne huffed, waving his words away like irritating insects. "You know why she said that? Eren! He's gone now." Ignis was practically glaring lasers into her eyes, horrified.

"Precisely! For one moment I dared to think I was significant in comparison to the man she loved and look—" He stopped upon hearing Rayne's laugh. " _What_?"

"Ignis, my friend," she wheezed, squeezing his shoulder. "If you think she loved him, you are  _sorely_ mistaken." He frowned. "She was in love with the idea of the perfect relationship, that's all. She wanted him to be the perfect man with the perfect personality and perfect looks. She wanted to feel  _significant._ Obviously, that wasn't the case."

"Regardless—"

"Did she pull away? Like, right away?"

" _Pardon?"_

"You heard me." Rayne crossed her arms. "And the look you're giving me says 'no,' which means our luck has just  _doubled._ "

"Rayne, this isn't a good idea," he sighed, shaking his head. "There's no need to torture her further."

"Torture? You're a nice guy!" She flashed a grin, giddy. "Trust me, Ignis. She  _wants_ this, she just doesn't know it yet."

"That sounds—"

"I know, but when has she ever been quick to realize her own feelings, huh?"

"You hardly know her, Rayne."

"What an accusation to make," she scoffed. "We talk all the time, and most of it  _isn't_ about work, thank you." She tossed her long hair over her shoulder and cocked a hip out to the side. "Y'know... Her birthday's coming up soon, isn't it?"

"Rayne..."

"What day is it?"

"... The eighth."

"Perfect! We'll all hang out and you two can sneak off somewhere... It'll be  _perfect!"_ She laughed again, hurrying toward the door.

"Rayne—"

"Just you wait, Ignis!" she declared, opening the door. "I'll make this happen."

When she shut the door, Ignis's shoulders slumped and he dragged the rest of his jacket on, staring hard at the notebook on his desk. Every fiber of his being prayed that Rayne would sense Rue's true feelings when she spoke to her—prayed that she would back off and let sleeping dogs lie. This was never a conversation he wanted to have. All possibility of Rue's favor was long gone the moment he allowed rash desire to overtake him. This is what he deserved for his lack of control.

Down the hall, Rayne  _skipped_ to Gladio's door, her heart singing and her smile never fading from her lips. She was determined now more than ever to ensure Ignis's happiness, even if that meant dealing with Rue's weird setbacks and mood swings. She swung the door open without knocking, knowing full well that Gladio never had meetings and that he only used the room to get some goddamn peace and quiet.  _Too bad._ He looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow.

"What's up?"

"Oh  _nothing_ ," she crooned, hurrying to stand behind him and look at his computer monitor, curious. She leaned over his back, loosing wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Hm, no porn?"

"Not today," he laughed, shaking his head. "Did you need something?"

"No,  _you_ need something."

"What?"

"A little piece of gossip about our dearest Ignis Scientia," she teased, wiggling her eyebrows when he twisted his head around to look up at her. She'd piqued his curiosity.

"Yeah? What'd he do, kill someone and forget to hide the body?"

" _Better,"_ she snickered, excited. She leaned forward and whispered her news. Gladio's eyebrows shot  _right_ up.

"You're kidding."

"I have to squeeze it out, but that's what's been eating away at him."

"Iggy..." He huffed, speechless for once.

" _So,_ I'm doing my duty as his best gal-pal and I'm trying to get Rue to see the light."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Listen, Gladio, that guy falls in love once every blue moon. This is his shot."

"Since he couldn't have you?" Gladio snorted when she smacked his head. "What a trade-off."

"Shut  _up_ ," she huffed, scanning over Iris's texts quickly.  _They're cute._ "We're  _compromising_."

 _"_ You're horrible."

"You made the joke first!"

Gladio laughed, silenced when she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"You're sure about this?"

"Oh, come on," she scoffed, straightening and heading toward the door. "This is  _me_ we're talking about!"

"Exactly."

"It'll be okay, you'll see," she reassured him seriously. "I'm not about to wreck his life." She cringed, cocking her head to the side. "Well, at least I hope I'm not."She opened the door, hesitated, and closed it again. "Do you think it'd be a mistake to let Prompto in on this?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry about going MIA all of a sudden, there's been A LOT going on and I had to catch up after my school break.
> 
> I take vacations very seriously- no work, all sleep.
> 
> Anyway, my laptop is still an asshole, but updates are back to consistency~


	46. Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sparking" by Eisley

"Welcome back!"

Rue grinned when Rayne threw an arm around her shoulders and dragged her into her office.

"Thanks for letting me take all that time off," she started. Rayne waved her off.

"Not a problem. It was, what, four days? Not a problem at  _all."_ Her face grew serious and she chewed her lip. "I hate to ask this, but I kinda have to. Are you sure you're ready to be back?"

"Definitely," Rue nodded. It felt strange to be in this office without a pair of heels on. "It's... better to not be sitting around at home."

"I get that," Rayne nodded, checking her phone.

"Speaking of... I may have moved. Do I, uh, need to change my address in the paperwork?"

"Yup," she nodded, plopping down in her chair far from gracefully. "You'll have to talk to Ignis about that, though. I don't have access to that shit, and even if I did, I wouldn't know where to start." Rue gnawed on the inside of her cheek, feeling her heart flutter at the sound of his name.

"Are you... sure you can't just ask him for me?"

"Why can't you?" Rayne countered, raising an eyebrow. "Is it because you think it'll be weird? Don't worry, he was way too cool about transferring you over. Kinda scary, actually." Rue swallowed her anxiety and nodded. "You should probably do that before anything else...?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Rue sighed, turning on her heels and heading down the hall. Her skin was covered in goosebumps beneath the sleeves of her heavy uniform and her heart fluttered at the mere thought of what happened when she was last here. In fact, that  _stupid_ moment was the very thing that had been keeping her up at night. What caused that lapse in judgment, not just in Ignis, but in herself? What part of her had melted her composure and made her forget everything else around them? It made her sick to think she had no control over some unknown part of herself. It took all the strength she could muster to knock on the painfully familiar door before her.  _Just pretend it never happened._

"Come in."

"Hey," she greeted with a forced smile as she peeked her head in. For once, she could see something deeper than the blank stare; he looked like he'd seen a ghost. Ignis composed himself quickly and set his pen aside.

"What did you need?"

"I moved," she replied, stiffly sitting in the chair before his desk. The room looked exactly the same as it did when she left it, and yet, it felt so foreign. "Rayne said I need to get that changed in the paperwork."

"She's right," he sighed, turning to his drawers and pulling out a file. Quickly, he flipped through page after page until he found hers, pulling it free carefully. "The address?" She pulled out her phone and read it out, greeted by a raised eyebrow. "You don't know it?"

"Don't give me that look," she huffed, feeling her chest warm as she gradually sank back into old habits. Forgetting felt  _so_ much better than pretending. "I moved, like, two days ago. I  _bought_ the place the day before that!"

"Alright," he sighed, but there was something playfully judgmental in his voice. Something relieved, too. He quickly wrote down the address and stared down at it for a moment.

"What?"

"... Did you know that Prompto lives on this road?"

"... You're joking." But she knew he wasn't. With a groan, she threw her head back. Ignis actually  _laughed._ Elated, she kept up the drama. "Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but if he's at my house every day, he  _will_ die. I'm warning you ahead of time so you can prepare his funeral arrangements."

"I'll get on that," he nodded, smiling. His head twitched to the left. "Though, it may be awhile. I happen to be short on help."

"Don't give me that," she scoffed. "Rayne said you had no problem with me moving up in the world."

"Moving up?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"What's higher ranking that the help of the king's advisor?"

"Uh, you meant to say, 'anything's better than being the secretary-in-law to the king," she retorted.  _Too far...?_ His amused expression told her otherwise. She sighed, standing and eager to leave before the relief died down and brought them back to reality. "Don't take it too hard, hm? I gotta get back to my super-awesome promotion."

"Certainly. Enjoy it while you can."

"Quit being cryptic." She rolled her eyes, though she was smiling when she turned her back, overcome with the comfort of knowing this would be easier than she thought. It was natural to ignore the trouble and let it fade into the background.  _At least I don't have to cut him out._ Her heart stuttered. Maybe that wasn't a good sign...

~|~|~|~|~

"Howdy,  _neighbor!"_ Prompto exclaimed, throwing an arm around Rue's shoulders. She sighed, crossing her arms and holding them close to her chest. "How's the move going?"

"The move's not the hard part; it's the unpacking," she admitted with a shrug.

"I could always help you out if you want."

"No..." She shook her head.  _Do I need it...? No, no, I'm okay._ "That's okay. Dex and Relir are helping me out today."

"That where you're headed now?"

"Yeah."  _Please be busy._

"Aw man, wish I could come with you." Prompto flashed a grin and scratched at the back of his head. "I, uh, told Noct I'd keep him and Iggy entertained until the elders' meeting was over."

"Are they not allowed in?"

"Sometimes they have meetings on their own to discuss stuff without their input, and then later they're told what the council decided. Ultimately, it's Noct's decision, but it helps him hear what they're really thinking without him there."

"Makes sense." Rue's lips pressed into a thin smile. "I guess I'll see you around, then?"

"Duh." Prompto laughed when she squeezed him into a tight hug, resting his hands on her back. "If you ever need anything, let me know. I promise I'll be there."

"Thanks, Prompto." She pulled away, swallowing the gathering lump in her throat, and turned on her heels to head home.

The walk was almost twice as long, but the fresh air felt nice when she knew she'd be heading into that constricting mess that was overtaking her home. The hustle and bustle wasn't so bad because she was getting set free a little later than before, not that it was ever regular, and she found she enjoyed the solitude. It felt good to know the loneliness was caused by the absence of people rather than by the sheer mass of them, for once.

Finally, she turned the corner of the smooth, paved road and saw her front lawn. Her heart floated at the sight of the soft, bright grass that grew around a narrow driveway and a cobblestone path that led to her shaded front door. She recognized the car parked on the drive; it was Relir's. Frowning, she peered inside the windshield, but the vehicle was empty. Digging into the pocket of her uniform, she pulled out her keys and turned them in the lock, hearing voices inside.  _How did they get in?_

"Oh, hey Rue!" Relir sat cross-legged on the floor before an open box of oddities. Dex leaned against the cluttered countertop, holding a stack of plates. "Your back door was unlocked, so we let ourselves in. Sorry, we should've offered you a ride."

"And sorry for letting ourselves in," Dex added, though he didn't sound all that sorry. Rue shed the jacket of her uniform and tossed it across the back of the couch, rolling up her sleeves. Relir ran her hand through her cropped hair and turned to look at him over her shoulder.

"You can't help it; douches are just like that."

"She's still on that kick," he muttered, speaking to Rue as he lifted his arms and pushed the stack of plates into a white cabinet. "It's been  _months_ since that joke was funny."

"I still think it's hilarious."

"Looks like you're behind the times, then."

"She always was an old-timer," Rue teased, heaving a garbage bag over her shoulder. "Bring that box with us, Relir. All that stuff belongs in my room."

"Yes, ma'am," Relir huffed, lifting the box with ease and following Rue into her bedroom. She puffed out a shrill whistle. "This is  _huge_ compared to your last place."

"Yeah, well, the last place was small," Rue shrugged, throwing the bag onto her bed and untying it with impatient fingers. Relir gawked at the pale gray walls and the aged white paint on her furniture.

"I like the bright colors of the house. It's less depressing than the  _closet_ you were living in before."

"I thought I'd try something other than depressing," Rue joked dryly, dumping out the clothing out onto the bed. Relir immediately took long, quick steps to join her side, grabbing her shoulders from behind.

"Ah-ah-ah. You take care of that box of random shit. I'm not about to let you make a huge mess like you did with your last closet."

"Seriously?"

"I'll have a ball. Put your weird little...  _things_ away."

"Why do you hate that box so much?" Rue scoffed, sitting on the pale wooden floorand digging into the cardboard container of goodies.

"I'm scared of finding something too personal in there."

"Like what?" Rue rolled her eyes. "You afraid of shitty collectibles?"

"I was more referring to a  _dildo_ or something," Relir shrugged, laughing and ducking when Rue threw a wooden chocobo figurine at her.

"Fuck  _off._ "

"Gladly. You can take care of this mess on your own, if you like."

"No, I don't like."

"That's what I thought."

It was hours before Relir and Dex said their goodbyes, wishing her luck with what remained and making absolutely  _sure_ she didn't want to go get dinner before heading out to their car and speeding off into the dark streets. By now, Prompto would be home or staying back late because the meeting ran too long. Rue sighed, flopping down onto her bed, exhausted, and replayed her day through her head. Training with Gladio was hard; she was sore and exhausted, but she knew that meant she was getting stronger. Rayne had been particularly friendly and Prompto had accompanied her to her post earlier that morning. A strange day.

She'd been assigned to simple guard duty as the Glaive was scattered with a thousand things to do as they picked up the pieces of what little remained from the fight all that time ago.  _Mere days..._ Rue swallowed another lump, taking a breath to clear her head, and turned her eyes to the photograph of Ana that stood at her bedside. It was an older one that she'd managed to salvage from a social media site she'd run years ago. She printed it in the afternoon from the library and slid it into a frame when Relir wasn't looking.

The round, soft cheeks and the bright, joyful blue eyes of the girl in the photograph made her smile. She reached out a finger and traced the edge of the child's chin, staring at the ripples in her inky black hair as it whipped in the wind, stopped only by the sharp jaw of the woman holding her tightly to her chest. The outline of her pale face was broken by the chapped red lips that were pressed to her forehead in a loving kiss. Rue studied the young woman's features curiously, from the long, fanning eyelashes that splashed tiny shadows across her smooth rosy cheeks to the knotted ebony hair that spilled down her shoulders and disappeared at the edge of the picture. Things were simpler then.  _I was so young._

Her mind turned to Ignis as her eyes turned to the ceiling. He had been so kind earlier, so eager to make the tension dissipate. And somehow, it had worked. The laughter, the awkward eye contact, the genuine smiles... it was refreshing to know some things never changed in the face of adversity. There was always...  _the_   _incident—_ she shuddered shamefully at the eager remembrance of his touch—but she felt that  _maybe_ they could throw it into the wind behind them and go back to business as usual before she could even remember what happened again.

Ignis was certainly an interesting character. She'd never met a person like him, much less  _befriended_ someone like him. And yet here she was, recalling his sharp green eyes and the slightest edge of a smile that would rarely stretch into a grin so wide that his eyes closed and laughter bubbled from his broad chest. 

She smiled faintly as memories came back—the first time they met, the night he'd let her stay at his house, the time she fell into the water at Cape Caem and he easily met her soured mood with understanding. He came off as cool, but he was warm. He never seemed to care, but he was likely the only person who  _did._ He was shamelessly married to his work, unfazed by Rayne's teasing as she tried to encourage him to fancy this lady or that tramp—married to the prospect of seeing Noct's success. And yet...

The tips of her fingers brushed over her lips.  _And yet he'd cheated._ His devotion to wholly focusing on Noctis and what he needed to succeed had faltered for a single moment and he'd acted on instinct.  _Or was it more?_ She wanted to believe it was a spur-of-the-moment reaction to their closeness, to their heat, but she could hardly think the words without rolling her eyes. No one with  _that_ much self-control, with  _that_ much training in restraint, acted on instinct in the way he had. In Cam's eyes, there was always a wild, insatiable desire that stemmed from his need for control, his lust for beauty. In his touch, there was only greed. Everything about  _the incident_ had been the polar opposite.

She couldn't begin to describe the feelings as they came rushing back even if she wanted to. Her cheeks glowed red when she realized that at that moment, she'd felt no guilt, no need to pull away and shout at him because she was spoken for. She'd felt more comfortable there, in the warmth of her  _boss's_ hands, than she had in any other place. Was it just because she inherently knew what she was doing was  _wrong?_ Was that what a cheater's thrill felt like? And their friendship... She ground her teeth together, closing her eyes when her heart began to sting. Was that only because he wanted... because he was just like the others?

"I'm a damn fool," she huffed, peeling her eyes open to meet Ana's. "And I need to sleep." She stood and changed into another enormous shirt she'd snagged from who-knows-where, sliding into her bed and switching off the light. "Maybe if I can sleep, I'll figure it out," she murmured, burying her head under the covers.

Sleep didn't come as she'd hoped, flooded with restless dreams of forbidden touches, whispered affirmations, stolen kisses. Gentle fingers. Warm hands. Soft lips. Green eyes. Rue squeezed her eyes shut harder, gritting her teeth. Her stupidity would never stop haunting her, now would it? Finally, she drifted off again, this time dragged to dark, chilling depths of hard shoves, shouted insults, forced favors. Rough fingers. Cold hands. Chapped lips. Grey eyes. Blood.

Blood everywhere. Blood running down her fingers, blood staining the carpet, blood splashed across the walls. Blood running down the length of the blade. Blood growing sticky on her skin. Blood diluted by the tears that stained her cheeks—their cheeks. Rue gasped and shot up in her bed, soaked in a cold sweat and grasping her arms to feel for the hot, crimson stains. Nothing. Only the tears were real. 

Choking on her tightened throat, she buried her face in her hands and fell back onto the mattress, afraid. The silence deafened; the loneliness crowded; the pain soothed. Ana's bright eyes looked lifeless in the dark. Rue covered her head with the pillow and cried harder, cried for the lost soldiers and the lost world and the lost children.

 


	47. Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Unbreakable" by Fireflight

The glaives cheered as Axel hurled his dagger across the room and disappeared with a piercing rush of wind, reappearing on the opposite end and clutching his blade. He stumbled, caught his balance, and turned to grin at Rayne with bright eyes. Proud, he bowed.

“Never got the hang of warping,” Rayne muttered to herself for the umpteenth time, shaking her head. “Nice job. Anyone care to try while we’ve got time to kill? Rue?”

“Hell no,” Rue scoffed, crossing her arms. “You think  _I_ can do that?”

“You got a point,” Rayne snorted.

The Glaive started at them with cold, blank eyes. Relir forced a smile and clapped a hand down on Rue’s shoulder. Dex avoided all eye contact, pretending to be busy with his glove. The soldiers weren’t being subtle about it. They didn’t like that Rue was there, a part of them, as an undertrained, useless piece of garbage decoration that was added as an accessory because she was friends with the boss. Rayne had never been lenient before; why was she loosening the reins now? The young warrior had never been known to like the lazy and the weak, and Rue was both of those. Why was she vouching for her? Rue sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. She understood, she really did, but it certainly didn’t make things any easier.

“No? Fine; go back to your stations. We’ve got some private lessons to finish up,” Rayne said flatly, watching Gladio enter the wide training room.

Glaives shot Rue cold looks as they strolled past, though some, like Gracen and Axel, were kind enough to grace her with reassuring smiles. She chose not to take notice, nodding her farewells to Relir and Dex and heading toward Rayne and Gladio. The two were muttering back and forth as they often did when they preferred not to be heard, stepping apart when Rue approached. Rayne pressed a kiss to Gladio’s cheek before hurrying out the door with a quick wave to Rue.

“Everything okay?” Rue asked, watching the doors swing shut. With a sigh, Gladio nodded and scratched at his beard.

“Yeah. She’s just… Yeah. Everything’s okay.”

“… Okay.” Rue lifted a wooden sword, twisting it over and over in her hands thoughtfully. Her mind felt slow and her body sluggish. She hadn’t slept a wink. “I’m… really tired.”

“It happens when you move,” Gladio shrugged.

“No, it’s not that.” Rue bite her tongue and shook her head. It was too late to take the words back.

“What is it, then?”

“I…” She swallowed to wet her dry mouth, looking around the polished room as she picked her words. “I keep thinking about the past lately. Wondering how things would be different if the Empire hadn’t attacked and the Darkness hadn’t come.” She ran her fingers over the wooden blade. “I’d be in prison or dead, one of the two. King Regis would still be in power and Ana—” Her throat caught as the name slipped and she couldn’t make herself complete the thought. “I think it’s just because I’ve been by myself so much. I think when I’m alone.”

“We’ll fix that, then,” Gladio replied warmly, wisely choosing not to comment on her daughter’s mention. “But only if you make it through today. You want a tip? Put it all into the fight; don’t lose your cool.”

“Thanks,” she sighed, offering a smile. He arched an eyebrow.

“It’s advice I’ve given before.”

“No, I mean… Just for everything.”

“Don’t do that,” Gladio chuckled.

“What?”

“Get all sappy.” He drew his sword. “And use a real blade. No more pussy weapons. You can handle it.”

“Can I?” she asked, but she was grinning, glad that she hadn’t made an enemy of him to begin with. She didn’t know how she would’ve gotten to this point if she had.  _I wouldn’t have._

“Are you asking for permission?”

“No.” She set aside the wooden sword and drew her own simple blade, eyeing the stains and marks of use that lined its surface. It was a cheaply crafted weapon, but it got her where she needed to be and that’s all that really mattered. “Let’s do this.”

~|~|~|~|~

The shower steam puffed up from the floor and filled her lungs as she let the burning water run over her face. It was both therapeutic and suffocating, and she couldn’t decide if she liked it or not. Turning to reach for her bar of soap from the small bag she left in her locker, she heard the locker room door open and close, heard the sound of footsteps through the showers. It sounded like more than one person.

“I mean seriously, though. Can you even imagine it? The king’s two bodyguards, married. Sounds like it would work, but knowing those two, this is just a phase, it has to be.”  _You don’t know **shit.**_

“I guess we’ll see. Think we’ll get invites?”

“Probably not,” one of the women snickered.

Rue was frozen in place, watching the shadows of their legs move as they undressed to shower in the other stalls. They were glaives; she recognized their voices. Something about their indulgence in gossip rubbed her the wrong way. If she was lucky, they wouldn’t notice she was there.

“ _Anyway_ ,” the first woman said. Rue jumped when she saw tanned fingertips stretching over the top of her curtain rod. “About that new chick—” Rue’s stomach churned.

“Shh!” the third hissed. “Hey, who’s here?”

“Me?” Rue squeaked, hands curled into fists against her chest.  _Think!_ “I’m, uh, just one of the new guards.”

“I didn’t know they were hiring.”

“Yeah, well, after the fight with the, um, kids…” Rue’s voice trailed off and she cleared her throat. “They just needed a few more helping hands, that’s all.”

“Right… Well, for future reference, this is for the Kingsglaive. Guard rooms are a few floors down.”

“O-oh, sorry.” Rue breathed a sigh of relief when they returned to speaking about her, though their words made her sick.

“Yeah, about that new girl…” The first laughed. “How the hell did that even happen? Wasn’t she rejected during the trials just a few months ago?”

“That’s what I heard!” the second cried. Rue jumped at the sound of a locker door slamming shut. “She went crying to Rayne  _begging_ for a job and then she worked on guard duty.”

“Oh yeah! Didn’t she get fired because she let one of those kids into the building?”

“I thought it was because she was fucking her boss.”

“She was?!”

“Uh, yeah? You didn’t hear that? Where have you  _been?_ ”

 _Where am I, middle school gym class?_ Rue sighed and scrubbed her skin down quickly in an effort to wash away the blood and the sweat from training. Subconsciously, she was trying to scrape off the ghostly feeling of Cam’s rough hands, the bruises that once marred her skin, the violation of his desperation. The rings of the curtain next to her rattled as a woman jerked it shut. Three showerheads down the line started up, flooding the room with even more suffocating steam. She decided she didn’t like it.

“That’s probably how she did it, then.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, she was working for Ignis, wasn’t she?” The second cleared her throat before continuing. “Marcus told me she used to be a prostitute. Said she sucked him off by a dumpster for ten bucks once.” Rue thought she might throw up. “I don’t know if that’s true, but  _obviously_ she knows the tricks of the trade.”

"You think she fucked  _Ignis_?" the first gasped. The third giggled.

“Probably. I heard something happened between them and that’s why he got rid of her.”

“A royal fuck up if you ask me.”

They laughed. Rue gritted her teeth and shut the water off, wringing out her hair with stiff movements and burning eyes.  _I won’t cry. Not again._

“Eren was dating her, wasn’t he?” the third inquired. “I feel bad for him. Spent his last days with a wench.”

“Probably better that he’s dead. He wouldn’t have liked seeing her cut corners.”

“Nah, he was too nice.”

“A nice guy with a stupid girl. Unlucky, if you ask me.”

Rue quickly toweled off and dragged her clothes on with trembling hands, feeling a burning sensation rise in the back of her throat.  _I hate them all._ Clenching her teeth, she shook her head and let her wet hair hang to her shoulders.  _Gods, how old am I? It’s stupid drama. Let them have their fun._ Still, she couldn’t help the anger building up in her chest. When would people stop being so  _awful?_  Was there ever an end to the lengths they would go to entertain someone’s misery?

“I wish he hadn’t been so in love with her. I wanted him for myself, to be honest.”

“Cora!”

“It’s  _true_!”

Rue shoved her things into her locker and sped out of the steamy room, feeling refreshed in the cool, dry air of the hallway. Gnawing on her cheek, she slumped against the wall and closed her eyes, getting herself under control.  _Let them have their fun._ Nodding slowly, she straightened and headed back through the training room to see Rayne putting a pair of wooden swords away. She looked up upon hearing footsteps; a proud grin spread across her lips.

“Hey, Rue! How’s it going?”

“Okay,” Rue shrugged, adjusting her sleeves. They were sticking uncomfortably to her damp skin. Perhaps she should have taken longer to dry off. “What’re you doing?”

“Picking up after a session with a new guard,” Rayne sighed. “Hit her too hard in the nose; kid went running off, crying like a baby and screaming that she quit.” She straightened and crossed her arms. “Guess it’s for the better, but Ignis isn’t going to be happy that he has to find all her shit and take her back off the payroll.”

“They still don’t have anyone else that can do that stuff?”

“Not yet, no. No one could be as efficient as Iggy even if they spent all their lives training.” Rayne cocked her head to the side. “Come with me to break the news. I’m sure seeing you will make him feel just a little better.” Rue felt her cheeks go red.  _What the hell's that supposed to mean?_

“Okay,” she muttered numbly, unsure of what else to say. Rayne hid a knowing smile and led the way back into the hall, tightening her ponytail to secure her obnoxiously long hair. “Is it hard fighting with all that extra weight on the back of your head? Like, doesn’t it give people something to hold onto?”

“No, I’m used to it.” Rayne shrugged, stretching her long, strong arms over her head. “Besides, it’s not for me.”

“Gladio’s into it?” Rue raised an eyebrow, not sure how far she wanted to delve. Rayne laughed loudly.

“Not at all. He wishes I’d give it a good chop.” She shook her head. “No, it’s… stupid. But it’s for a memory—for my mother. She liked it long and Signum likes to remember, even if he never knew her.” 

 _Her mother… The one who gave her the power to heal. The first oracle._ Rue chewed her lip anxiously. Sometimes she forgot who she was talking to. 

“I used to keep it long so my dad could remember too, but he died a couple weeks before we set out for Altissia. Perfect health, great soldier, smart guy… and he died from a  _fucking_ heart attack. Can you believe that shit?” Rue shook her head sympathetically. Rayne snorted. “Sorry, I’m ranting again.”

“It’s okay. Nice to get it out into the open.”

“Not when you’ve told the story a thousand times. Then it’s just redundant.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Rayne threw a smile over her shoulder. “I’m not.” Without knocking, she threw Ignis’s door open. The advisor jumped, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He should’ve expected it. “So, I’ve got some bad news.”

“What have I told you about knocking?” he lectured sourly, pushing his glasses up. His eyes softened and he glanced to Rayne’s right. “Hello, Rue.”

“Hi,” Rue answered awkwardly. Rayne arched an eyebrow that said “Really?”, but Ignis didn’t acknowledge it.

“What’s your news?” he asked, rifling through a folder on his desk before tucking it away.

“The new guard quit.”

“When?” Ignis frowned, quickly swiping an empty Ebony can off his desk. Rue couldn’t hide her amused smile.  _Still an addict._ “She was hired  _yesterday._ ”

“And she quit today. Like, ten minutes ago.”

“… What did you do?”

“What?!” Rayne barked back, hurt. She slouched against his walls, thumbs hanging through her belt loops. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Rue crossed her arms over the back of the leather seat before his desk. It felt wrong to sit there now, not when she wasn’t there every day to argue and take orders and shoulder his burden. She felt lazy, useless even. Ignis eyed her as she watched Rayne’s reaction, wishing she would take the seat to return them back to the weeks before of normality.

“You know perfectly well what I mean. I haven’t ever had someone quit their first few days unless they’ve come in contact with you.”

“Okay, well, I’m not exactly  _nice_ —”

“You don’t have to be. I’m certainly not.”

“He’s not,” Rue agreed, nodding. She shot Ignis a playful wink that made his blood run hot.

“I just think being a little tough should weed out the weak ones, that’s all.” Ignis sighed, leaning back a touch in his seat and turning his eyes to the ceiling. Rayne hurried to defend herself. “Oh, stop that! The bitch could barely hold a  _sword,_ much less aim a  _gun!_ I did us a favor.”

“Yes, and now I would appreciate you doing the  _other_ favor of finding a replacement. We can’t keep filling in the gaps only to create more spaces.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rayne huffed.

She appeared to be irritated; Ignis knew better. Those flitting violet eyes, the slightest quirk of a smile, her twitching brows, her tapping foot. She was watching, gauging their reactions and responses, every tiny interaction. He hated that she knew him so well. Her chest swelled with a deep breath and she stepped toward his desk to take a seat.  _Here we go._

“So, Rue, I hear your birthday’s coming up.”

“Um, yeah. It is.” Rue suddenly looked  _very_ uncomfortable.

“You planning anything?”

“No, why?”

“Perfect!” Rayne grinned, eyes bright. “Listen, I was thinking maybe since you got that new place, you could have me ‘n the guys over and we could hang out. Y’know, just eat junk food and have a good time.”

“Did you just insult Ignis’s cooking?” Rue asked, raising an eyebrow. Ignis had to look elsewhere. Rayne snorted.

“Are you assuming he’s cooking?”

“I mean, you said the guys were coming and usually that means…” Rue’s eyes flitted to the advisor. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“So you  _do_ want everyone to come?” Rayne radiated child-like giddiness. 

“I don’t… My place is a mess,” Rue admitted with a sigh. “I haven’t unpacked everything yet and I hardly have  _any_ furniture other than my bed and my couch. It’s not exactly company friendly.”

“Seriously? If you needed help, you should’ve just asked,” Rayne huffed. “I  _love_ putting things away.”

“Well, it’s almost done,” Rue shrugged sheepishly. “Other than the furniture.”

“It’s fine, we can eat on the floor.” Rayne elbowed Ignis. “You down?”

“…” Ignis glanced up at Rue over the edge of his glasses, still leaned forward toward his desk to see around Rayne. “As long as you don’t mind. Don’t allow her to push you around. She has a tendency to do so without thinking of others’ feelings.”

“What _ever,_ ” Rayne huffed, shoving his shoulder. “I do not.”

“Yeah, no, that’s fine. I guess.” Rue was already listing everything she needed to do before they came over. It was overwhelming

“Cool, cool.” Rayne hugged her knees to her chest. “Two days, then?”

“Yeah.”

“Lucky you; it’s on a Friday.”  _Not that it matters when you work seven days a week._

“Yeah…” Rue nodded, pressing her lips into a smile. She wasn’t looking at Rayne. She was looking at  _him._ “Looking forward to it.”

Ignis knew, right then and there, that Rayne was right. He needed to make things right—to at least try. And he had just the thing to get him there. Concealing his relief, he opened his phone, ignoring Rayne’s lectures about ignoring her, and quickly made a note. With his new sense of direction, he seemed he had a new purpose. He was ready to take it head-on. Perhaps this time he wouldn’t hesitate.

 


	48. Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's You" by Ali Gatie

Rue’s hands wrung together nervously as she looked about the house, but she hardly noticed. She ran out the night before to buy some more furnishings for her home, accompanied by more than enough decorations to fulfill her need for cheerful clutter, but it still didn’t look complete.  _Whatever, it’s enough for the guys. They probably don’t care._ Her stomach churned as a thought struck her hard.  _Ignis might._ Taking a deep breath, she pushed the thought away, though she couldn’t get rid of the cold sweat that broke out at its whisper.

“Think it’s good, baby?” Rue murmured, holding Honey to her chest and pressing a kiss to the feline’s soft head. Honey purred and tucked her chin onto Rue’s shoulder, peering around the house with her bright amber eyes. “Yeah… It should be okay.” She heard the sound of car doors slamming shut in her driveway and her heart fluttered. “Not that we have a choice.” She hurried to the door, waited until someone knocked, and then slowly opened it up.

“You have a cat?!” Prompto cried, his eyes alight with excitement. Honey, alarmed, hissed and leaped to the floor, speeding away into Rue’s room. The blonde sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Whoops. Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Rue reassured him, pulling him into a hug. Rayne stood outside, impatiently bouncing from one foot to the next. Gladio loomed behind her, looking around the yard and the front of the house.

“Nice place,” he commented when Prompto finally got the line moving. “How long have you been here?”

“Less than a week,” she sighed, looking over her shoulder. To her, it looked drab and lifeless, lit only by the warm rays of sunshine pouring in from the windows in the ceiling.

“I see you got unpacked without a problem,” Rayne teased, heading toward the kitchen and setting down two glass bottles. Rue sighed; she should’ve known this was an excuse to drink.

“You have no idea how much junk is shoved in the spare room,” Rue bit back, turning with a start to see Noctis awkwardly standing at the door with Ignis. He was holding a box and uncomfortably looking past her to Prompto.

“He, uh, wanted me to bring this so we had something to do.”

“What is it?”

“A gaming console,” Ignis answered for him, ushering the king inside.

Rue felt as though she should bow; it all passed so quickly she hardly had time to think. Blinking blankly, she turned to see Ignis standing there uncertainly. Pressing her lips together and, ignoring the flutter in her chest, she reached around him and shut the front door. Behind her, she could hear the others talking about the day and laughing as Prompto set the console up with her television. Clearing her throat, Rue looked back at Ignis.

“Sorry if you feel like you were roped into this.”

“If anyone was, it’s you,” he replied easily, raising an eyebrow. She laughed, shaking her head.

“Yeah, I guess.” Quickly, she turned and headed into the kitchen. Noctis turned onto his knees on the couch cushions.

“Hey, Specs. What’s for dinner?”

“Are you deaf?” Rayne teased, uncapping one of the bottles and taking a drink. Gladio eyed her tiredly, knowing it was about to be another interesting evening. “We decided to order pizza.”

“Sounds easier,” Rue nodded cheerfully. Noctis seemed satisfied, turning back around and muttering something to Prompto. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself; she was a terrible hostess, especially when she knew Ignis was still looming behind her. Rayne patted the stool beside her, grinning.

“Come here, Rue. You look lost.”

“Maybe I am,” Rue retorted, eager to get away from the discomfort. Rayne crossed her legs and shot Ignis a look when he passed by to speak to Gladio.

“How’re you liking the place?”

“It’s nice,” Rue nodded, playing with her fingers. “I really like the skylights. Adds a lot more life.”

“Yeah… No more of your nice sunsets, though, huh?”

“No,” Rue sighed, defeated. “Miss those, but I don’t miss the shitty apartment. I feel a lot less cramped.”

“Yeah.” Rayne eyed the walls. “It’s the exact same setup as Prompto’s, y’know, just a lot more… girly.”

“Girly?” Rue cringed.

“No, not girly.” Rayne was quick to correct herself. “I just mean it has more of a woman’s touch, y’know? Organized and clean and bright. His house looks like a dungeon covered in photographs.”

“I’m sure he tries his hardest.” Rue laughed quietly. Rayne nodded, smiling.

“Yeah.”

“Did Gladio fix your bed yet?”

“Nope. I bought us a new one because he’s a moron.” Gladio glanced over at them and Rayne raised her eyebrows, raising her voice. “Yeah, that’s right. You’re a moron, Gladio!”

“Yup.”

“Glad he’s accepted it,” Rue commented under her breath. Rayne laughed, throwing an arm around Rue’s shoulders.

“Now to the nitty-gritty. I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but—”

“Rue, look! Highest score in the city!” Prompto cried, leaping to his feet and throwing a fist in the air. Noctis groaned, falling back into the couch and tossing the controller aside.

“I don’t get how he does it,” the king complained as everyone gathered to see Prompto’s score on the silly minigame they always seemed so invested in.

“I’m a  _pro,_ ” Prompto retorted, excitedly pointing at the screen. “Seriously, though, look!”

“We’re looking,” Rue smiled, unsure what the score even meant. She’d played her fair share of games, but she had no clue what this was.

“Nice job,” Noct huffed, meeting Prompto’s fist bump halfway. “Round two?”

“Aw man, I can’t top that,” Prompto whined, but he rejoined anyway.

“What were you saying?” Rue asked as they returned to the kitchen. Rayne shook her head.

“You know what? Don’t worry about it.”

The rest of the late afternoon passed surprisingly quickly, filled with laughter and jokes and stories of older days. Rue’s sides hurt and her cheeks were sore from where her hands had been scrubbing away tears. Rayne had had far too much to drink already, not that anyone was surprised, and she was back to lounging across Gladio like he was a loveseat, and to her, he probably was.  _Gross._ Prompto and Noctis gave up on console games and turned on a movie that somehow piqued Rayne’s interest. She skipped to the couch to join them. Gladio shot Ignis a look and followed, leaving them alone at the square dining table. Rue felt her discomfort creeping back.

“How are you feeling?” Ignis asked, touching his glasses habitually and watching as she traced the grain in the wooden table.

“Better. I was worried you’d all hate being stuck here, to be honest,” she admitted, daring to meet his gaze. He nodded, glancing back at the others. They were preoccupied; this was his chance. “How are  _you_?”

“Alive,” he replied, earning a soft laugh. “I hear you don’t get quite the same view as you did in the middle of Insomnia.”

“No,” she sighed, glancing over at a window. “I’ve got that small yard back there, and the trees and the fences block the sun out after a certain point.” Sheepishly, she smiled over at him. “I even tried watching from the roof but it’s so steep that I was hanging on like a cat up a tree before I fell back down.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, genuine. She waved him off.

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ll just have to find somewhere else to enjoy the evenings.”

“…”  _Take it._ “I… may know of a place, actually.”

“You’d better not say the Citadel,” she teased, grinning. Ignis smiled back, letting his eyes fall to the table momentarily before gathering the strength to look back up.

“Not at all. Even  _I_  understand the importance of a break now and then.”

“Do you really?” She scoffed, raising an eyebrow. He raised his in return.

“Of course. Do you want to see it or not?”

“ _Now?_ ” she hissed, glancing over at the TV.

“I don’t see why not. They’re busy and the food should be here in an hour or so. It won’t take long.” He only wanted her alone for a few minutes, a reminder that they could still move past his foolish actions and maintain a good friendship. At least, that’s what he was hoping for.  _Hope is a dangerous thing._

“What if Rayne burns my house down?” she asked, dead serious. Ignis found himself laughing.

“Gladio has her under control. If she manages to damage anything, she’ll pay you back when she’s sober.”

“Okay,” she whispered, but she didn’t move. Ignis sat at the ready, itching to head toward the door. She nodded firmly and spoke with more confidence. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

Quickly, she got to her feet, slipping her feet into her shoes. Ignis followed, touching his pocket to find his keys. From the corner of his eye, he saw Rayne shoot him a wink. The advisor squared his shoulders and shut the door behind him. He’d never put this much effort into restoring a friendship, and he certainly hoped it was worth it. Deep down, he knew she was. 

Rue paused when she saw Ignis open his car door.

“We have to drive there?”

“Of course. The best treasures take a bit of seeking.”

“What, are you kidnapping me?” she teased, sliding into the passenger seat. Ignis sat beside her and started the car, amused.

“What do you care so long as you see your sunset?”

“Damn, got me there,” she laughed.

They sped down the road, out of the neighborhood, and toward the border of the city. Rue watched the world fly by with nervous excitement, realizing where they were headed almost immediately. She didn’t speak, however, until they reached the gates.

“Are we going to Hammerhead?”

“Of course not,” Ignis replied coolly, but he briefly entertained the thought. “Prompto would have our heads.”

“Right,” Rue laughed, but her nerves spiked.  _Where are you taking me, then?_

“We won’t be far from civilization,” he reassured her, sensing her anxiety. Rue sank lower in her seat, prepared for a long ride, only to grab hold of her door tightly as Ignis pulled a sharp turn to the right, taking them up a hill on a dirt road just ahead of the gates to Insomnia. “Apologies. I should have warned you.”

“I know now,” she sighed, sitting taller. Ignis drove a short distance up the new road before stopping ahead of a run-down, crumbling building.  _Are we gonna climb it?_

“Since we’re missing dinner...” Ignis starting, getting out of the car and heading toward the trunk. “I figured I might pack us something.”

“Really?” Rue laughed as Ignis pulled out an old, worn basket he must have found  _somewhere._ His eyebrow arched and a thin smile tugged at his lips.  _This is like a fucking rom-com._

“Of course. It’s a special occasion, is it not?”

“I wouldn’t say  _special.”_

Rue rolled her eyes and followed him toward the building when he didn’t reply. It looked like it had been burned down ages ago, marked with black soot and scattered, charred chunks of wood. She kept an eye out for any ways up onto the rafters or a landing. She couldn’t find any, confused when Ignis led her out the backside of the building and onto a grassy path.

“We’re nearly there,” he muttered, keeping his eyes ahead. Rue hugged her arms to her chest, following closely.

“Didn’t think we’d have to hike.”

“We can stop here, if you’d like.”

“I’m good.”

“Very well.”

Finally, they came to a grassy plateau that overlooked the city. Delighted with the open air and the wide view, Rue hurried to the edge of the cliff and stared out at the city, watching the waves of the sea surrounding Insomnia curl over themselves and crash against the stony shore. The sun was already hanging low in the horizon, casting a bright, deep light across the city’s ashes. It was beautiful. Grinning, she turned back to Ignis.

“How the hell did you find this?”

“It’s where we stood to discover if the city had truly been destroyed,” he explained, setting the basket down and pulling out a thin blanket. With one sharp tug, the material flattened on the ground and spread out on the overlook. “And it’s where we returned after the daylight to see if the sun had truly returned.”

“It’s gorgeous,” she gushed, coming back over to sit beside him on the blanket. She watched curiously as he pulled a container from the bottom, accompanied by a few of the plates they’d brought camping on their way to Altissia. “What’s that?”

“I distinctly remember you telling me you know how to cook one thing,” he sighed, touching his glasses and tugging off the lid.

“Mac and cheese,” Rue laughed.

“Yes. I didn’t make it from a  _box_ , but—”

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” She couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off her face as she gratefully took a plate and put a forkful of cheesy pasta in her mouth. “Godammit, Iggy. You have the power to make  _anything_ good.”

“Not anything,” he chuckled, uncorking a bottle of wine. She shot him a look. “I’m driving. You can have your wine and I’ll have an Ebony.”

“You’re a dork,” she huffed, shaking her head.

Ignis watched as she happily ate her dinner, staring at the sky contentedly.  _Friendship,_ he reminded himself, taking another sip of coffee. 

Full, she fell onto her back and stared at the clouds passing overhead. The sky’s brilliant colors cast across her face.  _Beautiful,_ he repeated with a quiet scoff.

“That was to  _die_ for,” she groaned, turning her gaze to Ignis. He tucked the dishes away silently. “Are you hungry? There’s a lot left over.”

“I’m alright, thank you.”

“You know what keeps me up at night?” she asked suddenly, sitting up and leaning back on her elbows. Ignis glanced up to tell her he was listening as he tidied up the blanket and pushed the basket aside to remove the barrier between them. “There was this character on a show I watched as a kid… I think his name was Bob. He had a bunch of talking dogs and whatever, but that’s not what bothers me.” She laughed to herself. “The guy’s hips are as wide as my  _pinky_. I’m honestly, looking back,  _very_ concerned about his reproductive capabilities.” Ignis was caught off guard, puffing out a short laugh. “What? I’m serious!”

“It’s a cartoon, Rue.”

“I know, but theoretically, what if he wanted kids? Does he even have a penis? It’s probably like a fucking worm!” Ignis began to look uncomfortable with the topic and she found it all the more entertaining. “Iggy, I’m not kidding. I’m concerned about Bob.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Nothing else? No theories?” She turned her eyes back up to the sky. “What if… there’s just nothing but flesh?”

“Rue,” Ignis sighed. She laughed.

“I wish I could say I was messing with you.” Thoughtfully, she picked a few blades of grass and tore them apart. “Speaking of kids, did Rayne ever talk to you about her… hesitations?”

“Yes.” Ignis pushed his glasses up and looked down at her. “About her and Gladio’s disagreements?”

“Yeah. It’s gotta be hard,” she mused. “Trying to balance that, I mean. I think in the end Rayne’ll give in, but that’s just… I dunno. It makes me kind of sad.”

“One must do what he can to continue the line, I suppose,” Ignis muttered, but he didn’t sound like he believed the words.

“Your father didn’t believe that.” To anyone else, the words might have felt like a slap to the face. Ignis merely shrugged them off.

“No, he didn’t. But I did, and since my uncle was preoccupied, I became the next in line.”

“Does it always run through the Houses? Choosing people for those roles, I mean.”

“There have been some exceptions, of course. There always are.” Ignis tilted his head the slightest bit as he thought. “There have been some families that were killed off altogether and another had to be chosen. I believe the only line that’s  _stayed_ is Rayne’s, and that’s only because of her mother.”

“Right.” She crossed her legs and picked more grass. “I dunno. It’s just weird to me, I guess, all this insistence for continuous bloodlines and shit.” She paused, gnawing on her cheek. “Do  _you_ intend on having an  _heir_ or whatever the hell you’d call it?” Ignis frowned. She swallowed her fear and looked to the ground.  _Was that too far?_

“I suppose I never gave it much serious thought. Obviously, that requires a mother and, well…” His words trailed off and tension hung heavy in the air.  _Every woman you’ve pursued has turned you down?_ Her heart ached.  _That can’t last for long. He’ll find someone._ “There’s still time, I suppose.”

“You don’t have any secret nephews lying around anywhere, do you?”

“Not that I know of,” he replied, the light returning to his eyes. She sighed, cocking her head to the side.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever have any myself. Not after Ana.” She was surprised at how easily the name slipped past her lips. “I’m scared I’d never love them the same, I guess.”

“Out of fear?”

“Maybe.” Rue took another drink of wine and offered him a smile. “Or just because I’d feel guilty about replacing her.”

“I understand.”

“I’m glad someone does.” She watched the sun sink lower toward the horizon. “It’s weird. I never talk about her. It’s like she’s a secret that everyone knows about, but I just can’t admit to it. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bog down the mood.”

“I prefer this over hypothesizing about how a cartoon man reproduces.”

“Okay, you have to admit that’s a valid question,” she insisted, sitting up straighter. He shook his head, but he was unable to conceal his smile. “Seriously, Ignis. If I showed you what he looked like, you’d understand.”

“Perhaps you should stop watching children’s television.”

“I’m  _not!”_ She smacked his arm playfully. “I said I  _used_ to watch it. As in, when I was a child.”

“Hm.”

“Fuckin’ weirdo,” she muttered, shaking her head. “How do I know  _you_ don’t watch children’s television?” He stared blankly.

“Me?”

“Yeah. Like, what if it’s a kink? Wait, no, that’s too far. I’m so sorry.” She was laughing too hard to stop, unable to catch her breath when she saw Ignis’s concerned face. “I’m  _so_  sorry. Too far." 

“If I did, I’d know what Bob looked like,” he replied finally, earning another laugh. Rue sighed, calming down and slowly shaking her head. 

“Thanks for taking me up here,” she said finally, setting aside her glass and watching the sun sink lower and lower, mixing with blues and purples and pinks. It was gorgeous.

“Thank you for coming,” he answered. She shot him a look.  _Why does he look so guilty?_

“What, is this an official meeting?”

“For what?” he countered wryly. “Reproduction and history?”

“Maybe reproduction history,” she shrugged. “I may be twenty-five—no, twenty-six—but maybe I should go back to school and retake sex ed, just in case.”

“At this point, I should certainly hope not.”

“At this point?” she repeated curiously, taking his meaning for something else entirely. He seemed to read her thoughts, quickly, turning his eyes to the city.

“I have one more thing for you.”

"Damn, you spoil me.”

“I might not anymore if you keep your language the way it is,” he retorted, digging back into the basket. He glanced up, lips curling into a smile she could only describe as boyish.  _Boyish? Ignis? They don’t mix at **all.**_  “Close your eyes.”

“Oh gods,” she sighed. “Is this where you hit me over the head and sell me to Camelia as a new maidservant?”

“If only.”

“Damn, that's cold.”

Rue closed her eyes, jumping when she felt the cool edge of something smooth against her top lip. She was about to make a sarcastic remark when she recognized the strong scent coming from the object. Curious, she smelled again, frowning.  _What is that?_ Her mind took her back to the grocery store, to that silly shelf with the silly candles that had silly names. To the giddiness in her chest and the smile on his face. She jumped when their fingers touched, reaching up to take the jar. Grinning, her eyes fluttered open to see Ignis waiting expectantly, far closer than he was before.

“Please tell me you did not waste your money on this.”

“What scent?” he persisted, still wresting a smile like a fool. She shuddered as a breeze pushed past and soared down the face of the cliff.

“Whiskers on Kittens, dumbass, what else?” Ignis released the jar and she turned it to read the label, laughing. “You did  _not!_ Ignis!”

“I couldn’t help myself,” he shrugged. “You seemed rather fond of the scent.”

“Fuck off,” she laughed, taking another sniff and setting it aside. Her heart flooded with genuine happiness at the return to joyful memories; she tossed the candle aside and pulled the advisor into a tight hug she knew he would resent. She was right, but for all the wrong reasons. “Thanks, Iggy.”

“You’re welcome,” came a stiff reply.

Ignis’s hands were hesitant on her back but they were warm. She remembered… It was the same. Her heart fluttered and she wondered if she could dare take the chance. It wasn’t a game, not this time, not last time. She wanted to feel guilty, but she couldn’t, burying her face into the crook of his neck and clinging to his shoulders. The sense of his stability in her rocky sea of chaos was overwhelming.  _What if?_ She couldn’t imagine.  _What if, what if, what if?_ There was no breaking past the initial step, and once it was taken, the future was a mystery.  _But should I? What if I do? Maybe it’s the wine talking…_ But she knew it wasn’t.

Anxious, trembling, and feeling her heart tighten, Rue pulled away, moving her hands from his shoulders to his face, and waited for an affirmation. Anything. Ignis looked uncertain. He hadn’t seen this coming, but he wasn’t saying no. Before he could, she kissed him, searching for the memory she’d longed for since the first time—the time she’d dubbed  _the incident_ because she didn’t know how to feel. At least, not before. Now it felt right, her lips pressed to his and his hands fell to her sides. Her chest ached and her lungs screamed for air, but everything else drowned it out. Ignis pulled away as suddenly as she had the first time, eyes trying desperately to read hers.  _An enigma._

“Rue, I—”

“I’m sorry about last time,” she rushed, her fingers tangling themselves in the front of his patterned shirt. “I wasn’t in the right place—I know that now.”

“If anyone was wrong, it was me,” he insisted, but for once, he didn’t seem to have much conviction behind his words. She’d taken him entirely by surprise. Not many people reacted so strongly to receiving a  _candle_ , for Shiva’s sake. Rue shook her head.

“And maybe you were, but I… didn’t see. Maybe that’s because I didn’t want to, or I wasn’t ready. Whatever.” She was impatient, he knew that. “Does there have to be a reason?”

“Now?”

“Yes, now.”

“No. Not now.”

He couldn’t believe the things he was saying—the things that were happening. Part of him wished this was another dream. Her grin told him it wasn’t. Her pale eyes closed and she brought him back under to another world he’d been far,  _far_ away from visiting mere weeks ago—he’d  _never_ get there, according to his subconscious thoughts. Rue knew what he must be thinking and chose to ignore those things; they were for another time.

Somehow, she wound up over him, still clutching his shirt. Every fiber of her being told her to be careful, to remember just who this man was. What he was capable of. How very  _fragile_ he could be. She pressed a line of kisses down his jaw before returning to his lips for one last hurrah. Finally, she pulled away, taking long, deep breaths. He still looked stupidly dazed, as though his big old brain couldn’t keep up with what was happening. Rue puffed out a laugh and sat up on her knees, afraid she would crush him even though she hardly weighed a thing. Ignis seemed to revive.  _I always thought he’d be so sure of himself. Poor guy. What did I do?_ Humored at her thoughts, Rue brushed a stray hair from his face and offered him a smile.

“Doin’ alright?”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“Okay. You look a little dead, that’s all.”

“I’m far from it.”

Laughing, she looked up at the sun, watching the last of its light fade beneath the sea, taking the colors with it. They sat in silence for a long moment before Rue took another deep breath of the fresh air and looked down at Ignis. He was just as he was before, staring up at her and waiting for her next move. He knew she liked things her way, knew better than to push it. That was fine; he was overwhelmingly contented there with his back pressed to the blanket and his hands rested on her legs. Rue shook a thought from her head and sat back.

“We should probably go back. Prompto might try to find us.”

“He wouldn’t.”

“I know.” She laughed again and stood, offering a hand to pull Ignis to his feet. He took it, quickly smoothing his shirt and his displaced hair. His eyes landed on the blanket. “I guess we can’t just leave that there.”

“No, we can’t.”

“Not even if I’m too tired to help fold it?”

“Do you think I needed help in the first place?” he asked, leaning over and picking up the candle. Rue took it with a grin, wrapping her fingers around the smooth, cool glass.

“No, I guess not.”

Point made, Ignis folded up the blanket and Rue watched, feeling the remnants of the excitement that seemed to pass so quickly as she watched the light fade away. Finally, Ignis picked up the basket and turned to lead the way back to the car. She followed eagerly; she hated being out in the dark. Something about the evening felt surreal. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to tell if it was a dream once she woke up for work the next morning.  _It was just a kiss,_ she told herself, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. But it really wasn’t. There was something else there that they were  _both_ choosing to ignore. Something more. Something worth pursuing.

“Ready to get this show on the road?” she asked, climbing into the car. Ignis sighed, starting the car.

“I suppose we don’t have much else to do.”  _I can think of a few things._ She winced, wishing he would run her over with the car for that one.  ** _Way_** _too far._

They turned the corner back into Insomnia, and this time, she was ready for it. The gates opened and they drove back through the city, back to her house, back to reality. There was a silence that held all words inside, but it wasn’t tense or uncomfortable. It was a combined sense of bewilderment at her actions.  _Why is this so shocking?_ she wondered with a wry smile.  _I **am** the Citadel whore, after all. _She shook her head and watched the neighborhood pass by as they neared her driveway. The car turned off once lined up behind Gladio’s and they sat there, unable to move. Rue bit down on her cheek before looking over at Ignis.

“So… where do we say we’ve been?”

“We drove to the ledge to see the sunset,” he replied, raising an eyebrow. “Rayne already knows I planned on going there regardless.”

“ _Rayne?!”_ Rue groaned and Ignis frowned.

“Is there a problem?”

“No, no, it’s nothing.” She waved him off. Then she paused, peeking through her fingers. “I, uh, have this vague recollection of calling her drunk once. I don’t remember what I said  _at all,_ except I think I mentioned you and that’s why she’s being so  _weird._ ” A look flashed over Ignis’s face and Rue recognized it: realization. “What?”

“Rayne… knows.”

“Knows what? You got a mic strapped across your chest?” Rue demanded, on edge. Ignis frowned.

“No. I was referring to what happened in my office.”

“ _Oh._  How’d that happen?” He didn’t answer. “Ignis, what the  _hell_?” She huffed, burying her face in her hands again. “Whatever, it’s fine.” She pushed her hair back out of her face, revealing the slightest mark of a scar on the edge of her forehead that he hadn’t noticed before. “Just… don’t tell her about this. Not because of  _you,_ just because I’m not ready for the endless teasing.” She prayed he didn’t take her secrecy the wrong way.

“I don’t usually go about discussing my personal affairs with her.”

“No? I thought you were close.”

“We are, but I like my privacy.”

“And if she knows everything, the world knows everything?”

“Precisely.”

“Right.” Rue leaned back in her seat and glanced at him one last time.  _What does he tell Gladio, then?_  She wanted  _so_ badly to lean back over and relive the hilltop, but she knew better than to push her luck. “Ready to go in?”

Ignis nodded and they both stepped outside, heading toward her door as dusk overtook the sky. Inside, it was dark, quiet, and cold. Rayne tore her eyes away from the screen just long enough to hush them. Prompto shot Rue a smile, but no one acknowledged them further. Frowning, Rue turned to the screen and saw that they were watching another movie, wondering just how long she and Ignis had sat on the ledge talking.

“Does anyone need anything?” she asked in a hushed voice, kicking her shoes off.

“You got any blankets? I’m freezing,” Prompto replied.

She nodded, heading toward the small room she kept her laundry machines in. Somehow the fact that Ignis stayed behind sank her heart with weighted disappointment.  _Of course he’s not going to trail behind you like a lost puppy, dumbass._ Shaking her head, she pulled down a stack of folded blankets—she liked to pile them all on in the winter—and headed back to the living room. Prompto reached out eagerly and expressed his thanks. Noctis shrugged and took the offer. Rayne and Gladio turned her down.

Yawning, Rue took a blanket for herself and sat on the floor in front of the couch, left with little choice if she was to sit down. To her surprise, Ignis sat too, to her left. His back pressed against the front of the sofa and his legs stretched out straight before him. The light of the screen cast a flickering glow across his face. He refused to look at her. Rue turned back to the screen and crossed her legs, pulling the blanket higher. The edge brushed against Ignis’s shoulder; he didn’t seem to notice.

Rue gnawed on her cheek, staring dead ahead at the TV. She sat up straighter, placing her hands at her side to hoist herself up. Her heart nearly leaped from her chest when her fingers brushed his under the edge of the thin material. She jerked away, thought for a moment, and laced her fingers through his in an assurance that the hilltop wasn’t just a spontaneous act for her own enjoyment. She hated to admit she didn’t want them to end whatever this was right there.

To her surprise, he didn’t react except to pull his thumb in against hers. She wrestled a smile and glanced around at the others quickly. Everyone was so fixated on the screen, they didn’t notice she and Ignis were even there. She took a deep breath and pushed her luck, shifting just close enough that their shoulders were pressed together, radiating warmth through the cool darkness of the room. Still no reaction. If Prompto hadn’t been lounging to her right, she might have rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Finally, the action film ended, following the same generic plotline as most. Rayne groaned and stretched her arms over her head and Rue, feeling her heart begin to pound for fear of being discovered, leaned away and pulled her arms back under the blanket, watching her sock feet bounce restlessly against the rug beneath her.

“Shit, I’m sober again,” Rayne whined, flopping back against Gladio’s side. He grunted and she sat back up. Rue raised an eyebrow as they stared at each other for a moment. Rayne’s lips spread into a smile and she pressed a kiss to his cheek before getting to her feet.

“Time to go?” Noctis asked, eyeing the time on his phone. It was fairly late into the evening. Even if Rue  _did_ prefer nighttime, she had to admit that she felt  _exhausted._

“Yeah,” Gladio muttered, reaching forward to touch Rue’s shoulder. “Thanks for tolerating them.”

“No problem,” Rue laughed. Prompto flashed a grin.

“Did you have fun?”

“Of course I did.” She forced herself to her knees and squeezed him into a sleepy hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow at work?”

“Yeah, where else would I be?” he teased, laughing.

“Do me a favor and take that pizza,” she added, taking the hand that Noctis offered to pull her up. “I don’t need that shit laying around here.”

“Me?” Prompto asked, crossing his arms and throwing a hip out to the side.

“Anyone,” Rue shrugged. Rayne yawned, working her fingers through her hair to untangle the knots.

“I nominate Prom. He can eat  _anything_ and not put on a single pound.”

“ _Not_ true,” Prompto scoffed, but he headed to the counter to take the cardboard box up into his hands. She heard Ignis finally get to his feet behind her, heard the sound of a knee cracking. Gladio chuckled.

“Gettin’ old, Iggy?”

“Not yet, I’m afraid.”

“Sounds like it,” Noct muttered. Ignis shook his head, though there was a soft smile on his face. “You taking me back?” Rue didn’t miss the look that Rayne shot to Ignis over her head.

“We can always take you,” Rayne offered quickly. “Make a triangle from here to the Citadel and our place.”

“You don’t have to,” Ignis replied, shaking his head. She rolled her eyes.

“It’s fine, Iggy. We don’t mind. Right, Gladdy?” Gladio looked less than amused, but when her lips pressed together tightly and her eyebrows raised, he sighed.

“Yeah, sure.” He crossed his arms, his long hair piling onto his shoulder when he turned his head to look at the king. “Maybe you should find yourself a damn car.”

“It’ll feel wrong,” Noct huffed.

“Can’t daydream about the Regalia forever.”

“I know.”

“Okay,” Rayne butted in. “It’s settled then. We’ll take the kids ‘n Iggy can get the rest he deserves.”

“I can walk,” Prompto reminded her. “I live  _literally_ two doors down.”

“Duh,” Rayne huffed, smacking her forehead. “How could I forget? Whatever. Let’s go, Noct.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Noctis looked over his shoulder at the advisor. “See ya, Specs. Thanks for letting us trash the place, Rue.”

“No biggie,” Rue smiled. “This place needed some help to look lived in.”

“Damn right it did,” Rayne snorted, heading out the door. “Bye, guys!”

“See you,” Prompto called, flashing a final grin before rushing out the door.

Rue turned and headed toward the kitchen to put the line of dirty plates in the sink. The door closed softly, but she heard Ignis getting his things by the door. Setting the stack of dishes down quickly, she hurried back to the entryway, catching him just as he turned the doorknob.

“Wait!” she hissed. Ignis closed the door again, waiting expectantly. Rue found herself uncertain of what to do next, awkwardly crossing her arms. “I just, uh, wanted to thank you, y’know, for everything you did tonight. You didn’t have to.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied. The words came all too easy, as if he’d returned to his automatic responses. Rue sighed, wandering closer. She found it difficult to meet his eyes.

“I didn’t… make you uncomfortable, did I?” she asked meekly, unable to help herself. When she looked up, the curl of an understanding smile graced his lips and he shook his head.

“Not at all. You’re a very…  _forward_ hostess.”

“What _ever_ ,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. She cleared her throat. “See you tomorrow, then?”

“At the Citadel?”

“Where else?” She laughed nervously; then her smile fell with realization and she looked up sharply. “Oh, uh, did you want to come here after? I mean to, like, I dunno… hang out? Or, uh, whatever?”  _Gods, I sound like a stupid little girl._ Ignis pushed his glasses up and his eyes narrowed the slightest bit.

“I don’t think I have anything scheduled tomorrow evening, however…” He frowned, thinking. “No, that should be fine. I’ll have to check.”

“Tentative yes?”

“Tentative yes.”

“Good.” She felt relieved, taking another step. Laughing uncomfortably, she shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ll, uh—dammit,” she snapped at herself, frustrated that the words simply. Could. Not. Come. Out. “Fuck it,” she muttered, standing on her toes and quickly pressing a kiss to his lips. Startled, his hand snapped up to grab her arm. She couldn’t force her eyes to his after she came back down. “Bye.”

“… Goodbye.”

With another awkward smile, she watched him leave and shut the door behind him, heaving a sigh of relief. Her heart pounded.  _I **really** did that. _She laughed, bewildered, and turned to Honey, who was ever so slowly creeping back into the living room.  _Am I **stupid**?_

“I’m a  **dumb** bitch,” she snickered to the cat, shaking her head and falling back against the door. “Not only did I make out with my  _former_   _boss,_ I had the fucking  _nerve_ to invite him over tomorrow.” Honey meowed nervously, eyeing her owner. “And he said  _yes!_ Do you believe that shit?” She sighed, unable to wipe the smile off her face.  _“I_ can’t.”

Rue puffed out another breath and forced herself upright, heading to her bedroom. She could take care of the mess tomorrow; tonight, she needed sleep.Part of her hoped this was all some elaborate dream and that she could wake up and pretend nothing happened. Most of her hoped this was real and that the loneliness would soon come to an end yet again.  _But what a strange way to combat it, hm?_ She laughed at her foolishness once more and ran her hands through her snarled hair.  _I am a dumb, dumb bitch._

But at least she was a dumb bitch Ignis Scientia was willing to waste his time on.

 


	49. Progression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sweater Weather" by We Three

"How'd you sleep?" Rayne asked, lounging across the top of her desk.  _Can she use any furniture normally?_ Rue shrugged, shuddering.

"Alright. I need to do something about how  _cold_ it gets at night."

"Yeah, I was fucking freezing."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault." Rayne took a drink from the iced coffee that rested on the edge of the desk thoughtfully. "Where did you and Iggy disappear off to? Don't think I didn't notice you guys left."

"Oh, we uh…" Rue tried desperately to keep her face from going red as the previous evening's events replayed through her head. "You know that cliff that overlooks Insomnia?" Rayne nodded. "We sat up there and watched the sunset since I can't see it from my house."

"That all?"

"I mean, he made me mac and cheese and drank Ebony, but yeah. That's it." She swallowed hard. "Why do you ask?"

"Forgive me for being nosy," Rayne started, swinging her legs around to hang them off the edge of the desk. "But I just thought,  _maybe,_ that there was a little something… more between you two?" Despite herself, Rayne was fighting a smile. Honestly, she was disappointed Ignis hadn't made a bigger move, but it was a start. Rue shifted uncomfortably.

"Uh, no. Not at all." She frowned. "What gave you gave that impression?"

"He kissed you," Rayne shrugged. Rue hugged her arms to her body, her heart pounding at the words.  _Yeah, he did, didn't he?_

"Yeah, well… I mean, he apologized. He didn't mean to and I understand. I kinda just wanna move past it."

"He didn't mean to?" Rayne scoffed. "How do you  _accidentally_ kiss someone?"

"I don't know," Rue huffed, rolling her eyes.

"You're not exactly taken anymore," Rayne added. Rue's stomach tightened guiltily.

"Just drop it," she snapped.  _Shit_ _, did I actually just get pissed in my little lie? Go me._ Rayne held up her hands.

"Okay, okay. I just want you guys to be happy."

"I am happy."

"I doubt it." Rayne picked up a folder and held it out. "Here. Before you head down to training with Gladio, drop this off for me, will you? Iggy let me sort through these since I know the Glaive shit better than he does."

"What is it?"

"Glaive shit."

Rue rolled her eyes and took the folder. Her heart fluttered as she headed toward Ignis's office. She only  _slightly_ wished she still worked for him. Times weren't simpler back then, but they were certainly less exciting. She knocked softly, heard his call for her to enter, and carefully turned the knob to step inside. Ignis glanced up and turned from his computer screen, waiting. He looked at her as he always had, as though nothing had happened. Rue's heart sank; she closed the door and headed toward his desk.

"Rayne wanted me to drop this off. Apparently, she's too lazy to walk two doors down to give it over herself."

"I doubt it's laziness that's stopping her," he replied coolly, taking the folder. His eyes flickered up to hers. "She seems to have acquired an obsession with matchmaking." Rue was immediately relieved, hiding a smile.

"Yeah, she enlightened me with interests just a moment ago."

"Did she?" Ignis opened a drawer and tucked the folder away. "Who's caught her eye now?"

"Same as usual," she answered, cocking her head to the side. "Had a peculiar curiosity about what happened when she wasn't nosing around."

"What  _did_ happen?" he asked, eyes bright when he looked up at her. Rue shrugged.

"A conversation and a meal. That wasn't juicy enough gossip for her tastes, though. Unfortunate."

"Yes, well, if she keeps searching in all the wrong places, she'll certainly never find what she's looking for."

"Isn't that the truth," Rue huffed, tucking her hair behind her ear. Their joking ended abruptly, and she wasn't sure what else to say. "I guess I'm off to fight the big guy  _again._ "

"I wish you luck."

"I need all the luck I can get." She turned to leave.

"Rue."

"Yeah?" She looked back.

"I should be free around eight o'clock. I understand if that's too late for your—"

"That's perfect," she smiled, giddy. "See you then."

He nodded and she left, containing the urge to squeal.  _How the **fuck**  is this even happening? _The last time she felt like this… Well, it was with Casper. She supposed that made sense since she'd been in  _high school_ at the time. But now… She sighed, adjusting her composure when a guard shot her a strange look.  _Let's just hope it doesn't end the same way._

Rue checked the time on her phone with a sigh and returned to watching her show. He was twenty-two minutes late. Maybe he'd panicked and decided this was too much, too inappropriate. Maybe he remembered who— _what—_ she was and decided it wasn't worth it. She hated to admit the thoughts weren't too farfetched, but she thought he'd at least have the decency to call. She was sure it must have part his personal policy.  _Twenty-three._ Her heart began to hammer in quick, tight pounds and she thought she might throw up.  _What have I done?_ Her skin prickled and a cold sweat broke out across her forehead when something thumped on the door three times.

"Shit!" she hissed, tripping over the edge of her rug and catching herself on the edge of the couch before she could give herself a black eye. Honey watched from the kitchen counter, bored. "Get down from there," Rue huffed, pushing her cat to the floor and rushing to the door.

Breathless, hair a wreck from her fall, she threw it open to see Ignis standing there. His lips were parted to form an apology, stopped by the confused expression that overtook his face. Rue ran a hand through her hair and flashed a grin.  _I won't act like last night._ Her own mind scoffed at her.  _Yeah, but you'll act like a schoolgirl with a crush._

"You're late," she pointed out, drawing attention away from her appearance.

"Yes, about that," Ignis started. She stepped aside and ushered him in. "The meeting ran longer than I anticipated. When I told you eight, I was allowing two hours for the occasion."

"Damn," Rue breathed out, giving a low whistle.

Ignis nodded, looking around her house.  _Oh, shit. Right. What now?_ If her life was a movie, she might've grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to her room right then and there (the damn look on his face would be the death of her), but she lived a real life and they were real people. She absolutely could  _not_ do that. Instead, she crossed her arms and looked past him to the TV.

"It's dark."

"Yeah, so, funny thing. I was watching my show while I was waiting for you to arrive and I have, like, four minutes left. I  _also_ don't have anything interesting planned," she admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. "Mind if I finish this and then we find something?"  _Gods, that sounded suggestive._ She took a deep breath.  _You're hopeless._ Ignis raised an eyebrow.

"I suppose I have little choice."

"I mean, you could phone-fuck Noctis while you wait, I guess," she shrugged, laughing at his face. "That's an option."

"I'm… not certain it is."

"You could try." She flopped back onto the couch and motioned to the bottle on the coffee table. "Have some, if you want."

"I'll pass." She pressed play on her remote and looked up to see him eyeing the screen as he came around to sit beside her. She began to sweat again, keeping her eyes locked on the television.

"It's a prison drama."

"I could tell."

"Damn, okay. I'll shut up, then." She rolled her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. "You and your damn assumptions." His chest shook with a single puff of air, the only laugh he could bear to allow.

Rue watched the actors on the screen speak quickly, stared at them running around in a panic, but her brain couldn't quite process what was happening. She heard his pounding heart, smelled traces of coffee on his breath, felt the sharp edge of his shoulder pressing to her temple.  _Don't do it,_ she screamed at herself. Her chest tightened and she suddenly felt as though she couldn't breathe.  _I won't._ One of the main characters said something under her breath and another woman cried out in anguish, cut off by the credits. Rue pressed her lips together, gathering her strength before looking up at him. He met her gaze as it came, his glasses reflecting the warm light coming from the kitchen.

"What'd you think?" she teased uneasily. His brow furrowed ever so slightly when he glanced at the screen for just a moment.

"I admit, I wasn't paying much attention."

"Why's that?" Rue asked, her voice odd.  _What's wrong with me?_ Ignis raised an eyebrow.

"The first I'm seeing of this is the last four minutes of—" He looked to the corner of the screen. "Season four, episode nine."

"Yeah, that's a good reason," she nodded, laughing nervously.  _What the hell do we do now? Play board games?_ Ignis seemed to be waiting for something.  _Right, I said I'd…_ "So, I—"

Rue jumped so hard she nearly  _peed_ herself, silenced by his lips. She had absolutely no idea how to move for a moment, frozen. Ignis almost drew away, tentative and alarmed by her reaction, but she regained her composure and pushed back, fumbling for his hands and placing them on her waist. To lessen the ache in their necks from craning, but mainly purely out of habit, she slung a leg over his and heaved herself onto his lap, clutching the material of his thin shirt just as she had the night before.  _Well, if he wants this…_  She couldn't help but smile, unable to catch her breath.  _But I can't—_  Her body disobeyed her almost immediately. Her hips rocked forward against his. A strange, strangled sound escaped his throat.  _Shit_.

"I swear this isn't why I invited you over," she insisted in a low voice, pulling away to speak. Ignis turned his eyes up to meet hers. It felt like a punch to the gut.

"This isn't why I came." Ignis sighed, shaking his head.

"What?" She realized her lapse in understanding and laughed, throwing her head back. "I'm twelve."

Rue wished that she'd had enough, but she was greedy, and at that moment, she couldn't bring herself to care. Untightening one hand on his now wrinkled shirt, she plucked his glasses off his face with a coy smile.

"Better. You don't look old enough to be my great uncle now."

Before he could react to the playful insult, she pressed her lips back to his. clumsily finding the buttons on his shirt and slowly undoing them. Undoing  _him_. Rue absolutely could not envision him in any sort of sexual situation.  _But he's not a virgin… **Is**  he?_ She pushed the thought away and shuddered when he finally became brave enough to trace his fingers over her back beneath her shirt, pulling her even closer.

Growing ever bolder, she moved from his mouth to the side of his neck.  _Well, fuck me,_  she thought sardonically. She knew he had to be strong, and he was certainly no Gladio, but the heat of the smooth skin that was pulled tightly over his chest made her all the more eager to explore. Grinning, she pushed her hips forward once more, and this time, the sound he let out was far less shy. Just as she was about to laugh at her own joke, they were startled by a rapid pounding on the door.

"Shit," she hissed, pulling away and scowling at the door. "Who the hell…?" Sighing, she shot Ignis an irritated, apologetic look and stood. He shook his head and reached to take his glasses off the side table. He looked  _ashamed._

Smoothing her shirt and her hair, she prayed her face wasn't  _too_ red and opened the door, startled by the sight of a complete stranger. A woman who appeared to be in her early thirties stood on her doorstep, brows knitted together as she clutched two young girls, one in each hand. She looked to be a nurse, dressed in navy blue scrubs with a worn black purse slung over one shoulder. Her thin lips pressed together as she looked Rue up and down.

"I hope I'm not bothering you." Her voice carried an accent Rue recognized.  _An Imperial?_

"Not at all," Rue lied, defensive. "What did you need?"

"I should probably introduce myself," she muttered. "My name's Julie. I'm the neighbor to your right."  _Okay?_ One of the girls started to speak and her mother jerked her arm quickly to shut her up. "Listen, I'm really sorry to ask this, but would you be able to watch my girls tonight? They're too young to be alone and their father is being an absolute  _dickhead_ _—_ pardon me. Girls don't repeat that." The woman's brown eyes were cold. "I would normally do a background check, but I've heard from the boy next door that you're a lovely young lady with a daughter of her own."  _Prompto._ Rue pressed her lips together, bearing the stinging pain in her chest.

"Of course I can," she finally said. "I have some extra space."

"Perfect. Thank you. I trust you won't be doing anything… inappropriate," she added. Rue frowned; did she look  _that_ off? Suddenly, she realized Julie's eyes were directed over her shoulder and she could feel the presence of Ignis a few feet away. Rue shook her head quickly.

"No, of course not."

"No alcohol?" Julie demanded, looking Rue over once more. She felt like she was being attacked.

"No," she replied, glancing back down at the girls.

"They'll tell me," Julie threatened. Rue blinked at her. "I work night shift at the local hospital and I just got called in. I should be back to get them at half-past seven."

"Um… Okay." Rue glanced back at Ignis. He only stared back. She felt her face flush red when she saw the faint red trail she'd left down the side of his neck and his swollen lips.  _We're a fucking wreck. No wonder she's so suspicious._

"Go on, girls. They brought a few things with them. Bed time's at ten tonight; they obviously don't have school tomorrow."

"Obviously," Rue repeated under her breath, stepping aside for the girls to enter. "Okay, well, good luck at work."

"I don't believe in luck."

Rue took a deep breath and watched the woman turn on her heels, slowly closing the door. The girls looked around once before staring at Ignis silently. Then they stared at Rue. And she stared back. Swallowing, she forced a smile onto her face.

"Okay,  _so,_ what do you guys usually do before bed?"

"We're usually asleep by now," the older of the two said, staring at Rue with sharp brown eyes that looked exactly like her mother's. She turned and looked back up at Ignis. "Who are  _you?_ "

"His name's Ignis. He, uh—"

"Ignis Scientia? The king's advisor?" the girl repeated. "Why are you  _here?_ "

"He's a friend of mine," Rue huffed, already tired of the girl.

"He sounds like Mum." The smaller child stuck her thumb in her mouth, running her thumb over her nose in a smoothing motion.  _How does she even know that?_ Rue forced a happier tone onto her voice.

"What're your guys' names?"

"I'm Silvia," the older girl asked, tugging at one of her dark pigtails. "That's Harper."

"Silvia and Harper," Rue repeated.  _Interesting._ "Well, what do you want to do?"

"I want my father," Silvia said stubbornly. "You have a phone, don't you?"

"Don't be mean," Harper said around her thumb, her voice just over a whisper.

"Your mom said your dad—"

"She said he's a dick," Silvia stated. "And he is. But I don't want to be here."

"… How old are you?" Rue asked, unsure if she should lecture the child on her language.

"Twelve and five."

"Quite the age gap."

"Yeah, whatever." Silvia jammed her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. "My dad can't get us because he's screwin' about his girlfriend."

"Um, okay. Maybe ease off on the—"

"I'm just sayin'." Silvia shrugged, heading toward the couch. "Can we watch TV?"

"Yeah, sure," Rue sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Ignis frowned at the girl as she fumbled with the remote.

"What do adults watch on TV anyway? Porn?"

"Silvia, you're gonna be the death of me," Rue gritted out, taking a deep breath. She started upon feeling Ignis's hand on her shoulder, a reassuring gesture. She'd never seen the man look so utterly helpless.  _So that's his kryptonite, huh? Children?_ Harper hadn't budged, staring at the adults with wide blue eyes. Her hair was dark like her sister's, curly, and tied up with a dull pink bow. "Do you want to watch TV too?" Harper thought for a moment, still sucking her thumb.

"… What's porn?"

"Gods, don't repeat that to your mother," Rue said quickly. "Bad, bad word. Don't say it." She knelt, unsure what to do with the girl. "No TV?"

"No. I wanna play."

"Well, I don't have any toys," Rue muttered, thinking out loud. Silvia scrolled through the cable channels tiredly.

"Thought Mum said you have a daughter," she accused. Rue momentarily wished she could lock the girl away in her closet until her mother returned.

"She's not here."

"She at her father's?"

"Yeah, sure." Rue took a breath to ease the pain and stood. "Okay, Harper. Let's find something for you to do. I have some puzzles in a closet. Do like those?"

"Yes," Harper replied, nodding. Rue's heart warmed and she offered a hand.

"Come on, then. We'll go find a puzzle." She looked up at Ignis. "I'm really sorry. Obviously, I wasn't expecting—"

"It's fine," he cut her off, shaking his head. "I'll make sure Silvia selects something  _appropriate_ while you're gone." Rue smiled.

"Thanks." She led the way to the laundry room, reaching up to the shelf overhead and pulling down several boxes of puzzles that she'd received as gifts over the years.  _These are absolutely not made for kids,_ she thought, finally finding one that had less than five hundred pieces. She showed Harper the picture on the front and the girl nodded eagerly.

"I love chocobos!"

"Yeah? Me too," Rue smiled. "They're cute."

Harper took the box and adjusted the backpack that was strung over her shoulders.  _I'll have to take that off when I get out of here._ She led the way back to the living room and pulled the bag off her back, setting in down beside the couch. They sat on one side of the coffee table and Harper dumped the pieces out onto the wooden surface. Ignis sat several cushions away from Silvia, satisfied when she finally selected a cartoon.

"Lame shite," the girl commented under her breath.

Rue shot Ignis a look and he shook his head. Rue felt bad telling him he could leave in front of the kids for some reason she couldn't explain, so she mouthed words instead. He understood somehow and shook his head. Before she could insist, Silvia scooted closer to the advisor's side.

"So, Mr. Scientia, you're the advisor to the king."

"… Yes."

"Got proof?"

"Not with me, no," he answered stiffly.

"Why not?"

"I'd hardly need to prove my identity to the friend I was visiting, would I?"

"What if you get pulled over?" she insisted.

"Ignis is a  _perfect_ driver," Rue scoffed. Harper nudged a few puzzle pieces her way, silently asking for help.

"I didn't ask  _you_."

"All of the officers patrolling the streets have met with me at some point," Ignis explained without hesitation, touching his glasses. Silvia grunted, sinking back into the cushions. A look crossed her face and she turned back to him.

"Are you rich?"

Rue laughed, pushing a few pieces together. None of them fit.

" _Now_ you're asking the good questions." She raised her eyebrows. "Well, are you,  _Mr. Scientia_?" Ignis smiled, shaking his head.

"I suppose so. Most who work under the Crown live comfortably."

"Of course you are," Silvia huffed. "Mum hates everyone who works for the king, you know. Says all her hard-earned money goes to paying people to kiss Noctis's arse." She turned her sharp eyes to Rue. "Do you work for the king?"

"I do."

"Course you do. The man on the other side of us does, too. Do you know him?"

"Yeah, we're friends."

"What's his name, then?"

"Prompto Argentum."

"Shit." Silvia turned her eyes back to the screen. "What's  _your_ name?"

"Rue Corden."

"Ain't ever heard of  _you_."

"I'm a little less important than he and Ignis," she admitted, watching Harper fit pieces together slowly. Her thumb was still in her mouth. Rue smiled.

"Ignis?" Silvia crossed her arms and stared hard at the advisor.

"Yes?"

"Why do people from Insomnia hate us so much?"

"…" Ignis frowned, taking a deep breath. "People are weary of those they don't know."

"Yeah, well, why do they have to be so mean about it?" Silvia demanded. "Tell Noctis to start executing shitheads. My school would be  _lots_ nicer."

"I'm afraid I can't advocate for the slaughter of children," he replied, glancing at Rue. She frowned as Silvia rolled her eyes.

"Well… Didn't they bully you for  _your_ accent?"

"I didn't attend a regular school."

"Damn rich kids." Her dark eyes turned to Rue. "Bet you didn't go to school neither."

"I did," Rue nodded, helping Harper sort pieces by color. "My family didn't have money when I was growing up. It was just me and my dad."

"Kind of like me 'n Silvia," Harper spoke up, ignoring her sister's scowl. "Except we have Mum and not Dad, and there's sisters."

"Right," Rue nodded.

"Do you have a sister?"

"Nope."

"Brother?" Silvia asked. Rue shook her head. She looked at Ignis. "You?"

"No."

"Everyone  _I_ know has brothers and sisters," Silvia huffed, staring at the screen.

"Ida Banks doesn't have 'em," Harper argued. Silvia rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and she ain't got no parents neither, dumbass."

"Hey," Rue snapped, shooting her a stern look. "No more bad language, you hear me?"

"You're not my mum."

"What if I tell her?"

"She ain't gonna do nothin'," Silvia muttered, but she didn't speak anymore after that.

Harper's eyes began to droop as ten o'clock drew nearer and nearer. Silvia wandered off with her backpack, disappearing into the bathroom and locking the door. Rue yawned and dug through Harper's bag as Ignis watched without a word. She pulled out a pair of pajamas and eyed the diaper that fell out with them.

"She pisses herself," Silvia explained, striding back into the room. "Don't put 'er in your bed."

"Good to know," Rue sighed, gently rubbing Harper's back. The girl looked over her shoulder sharply, and for a moment, Rue's breath caught as she thought she saw Ana sitting there. She blinked and remembered where she was, feeling sick. "Hey, it's time for bed," she managed to choke out. Harper took her clothes and Silvia dragged her to the bathroom.

"Are you alright?" Ignis asked. Rue nodded quickly, getting to her feet. She hugged her arms to her body and looked around the living room.

"Yeah… Where do I put them?"

"Perhaps the couch is long enough for the both of them," he offered. She nodded again and wandered toward her own bathroom in search of towels to put down as sheets, looking dazed. Ignis frowned, watching her go.

When she returned, she tucked the towels into the creases of the couch cushions and laid out several blankets, rolling some up to be used as pillows. Silvia wandered over with her sister and crinkled her nose at the sight, but she didn't complain. She climbed under the covers on one end and Harper stared up her expectantly.

"Ready for bed?" Rue asked, her eyes growing heavy.

"She has to be held until she falls asleep," Silvia muttered, curled up under the blankets. "Otherwise she gets nightmares about the monsters."  _The daemons?_  Ignis sighed and turned the TV off as Rue stared back at the little girl.  _You're joking._

Exhausted, she forced, sat on the floor, and patted her lap. Harper grinned, holding a stuffed moogle, and sat down, curling up against Rue's chest and closing her eyes. Rue pressed her lips together and looked up at Ignis, glancing toward the light switch. He shut those off, too. Nodding gratefully, she patted the floor next to her. He shot her a  _look_ and gave in, leaning back against the couch and letting her lay her head against his shoulder.

"You don't have to stay," she reminded him.

"It's alright."

"Shut up," Silvia snapped, muffled by the couch.

They sat for what felt like hours before Harper began to snore softly, her bright eyes sealed shut with sleep's beckoning pull. Rue tore her own eyes open and straightened, her back aching. Slowly, she stood, lifting Harper into the air. She set the girl down on the other edge of the couch gingerly, pulling the blankets up to her chin. She didn't dare to breathe until she'd stepped back, watching to make sure the girl was still asleep. Heaving a sigh of relief, she turned to smile at Ignis victoriously. He smiled back half-heartedly.

"You going home now?"

"I'm not sure I can move," he answered quietly. She huffed out a laugh.

"I get it. My ass is numb from sitting there for so long."

"I thought you said no more bad words," Silvia mumbled, startling them.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Nope."

Rue rolled her eyes and sat on the edge of the coffee table, crossing her arms. It was getting cold. Ignis looked up at her, uncomfortable but content to sit there with her for ages. Silvia turned over to face them, propping her chin up on her palm. Thoughtfully, she stared up at Rue, only able to see by the dim light of the moon that was cast through the windows in the ceiling.

"Rue…" she started. Her voice sounded different. "Your daughter isn't at her dad's… is she?" Rue's stomach churned and she swallowed the lump in her throat.  _Gods, why can't I get over it?_

"No. She's not," she admitted finally, unable to break away from the girl's stare. Silvia nodded, lowering her eyes.

"It was daemons."

"… No." Rue's mouth was dry. She couldn't bear to look at Ignis any longer, instead turning her eyes to the rug beneath her feet. "It wasn't."

"It was daemons that got our brother."

"Brother?" Rue repeated, glancing at Harper. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"He wanted it," Silvia said bitterly. "Said there wasn't any hope for the light anyway. Might as well go out with a bang." She rolled over again, refusing to face them. "Fuckin' idiot."

Rue didn't admonish her again, sick as she stared at the girl's back.  _Children shouldn't have to remember that shit._ She glanced at Harper.  _Five… She was born in the Darkness. She's the same age as…_ She shook her head.  _Stop it._ Ignis stood, startling her. He glanced over her face quickly before nodding toward the door. She followed him outside, waiting for the door to close before turning to face him.

"It seems I've overstayed my welcome," he said lightly. Rue shook her head, reaching out to squeeze his arm.

"Not at all. Thanks for the help."

"Did I help?" he asked, the slightest smile tugging at his lips. She shrugged.

"Maybe a little. I think Silvia likes you."

"Competition?" he teased. Rue scoffed, eyebrows raised.

"I certainly hope not. She's  _twelve!"_

"It was a joke," he reminded her. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, rubbing them nervously. Even this tired, she had the energy to be anxious. Sensing her hesitation, Ignis sighed and looked past her to his car. "Well, I suppose Rayne isn't kind enough to let you take Sundays slowly."

"Stop trying to compare the jobs," Rue laughed.

"I'm not; I'm simply making observations."

"Mhm."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Where?" she asked, raising an eyebrow with a sly smile. He raised his back.

"The Citadel. Did you have something else in mind?" Rue's mind flashed back to how  _heated_ they'd been earlier, how close they came—she shook her head.

"Nope. I'm hanging out with Relir tomorrow after work. She's gonna help me get more shit for the house." Ignis nodded and Rue glanced down at the ground.  _Why are we so damn awkward?_

Finally, Ignis took hold of his keys, filling the silence with a short jingle. Swallowing her fear, Rue stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips, though this one lasted longer than the one from the previous night, lingering in memory of earlier. She wished he could stay, that the kids had never come. She could imagine what might've happened if they hadn't been interrupted. Pulling away, she offered him a tired smile. It was probably better that they had been; she wanted to be  _careful_ this time.

"Bye," she called after him as he headed toward his car. Ignis nodded back, getting into the vehicle and driving out of her neighborhood. She waited until she couldn't see his lights before she went back inside.

Soft sniffles came from the living room and Rue entered to see Harper and Silvia standing up, whispering back and forth sharply. Frowning, Rue turned on the lights and Harper cried harder, burying her face in her hands. Silvia shoved her sister and ripped the blankets off the couch.

"Shit," the older girl huffed.

"What? What's wrong?" Rue demanded, exhausted. She just wanted to lay down and get a good night's sleep.

"She pissed 'erself," Silvia snapped. "The diaper leaked."

"Of course it did," Rue grumbled, hurrying to help. She took Harper's hand knelt before her. "Shh, it's okay, baby girl. Let's get you out of these clothes." She eyed the couch.  _That better not stink for the rest of time._


	50. Humanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hymn" by Kesha

"Dex, seriously, dude, slow down."

"I'm  _starving,_ " Dex moaned, leaning back in his seat. Relir rolled her eyes, watching Rue push her measly salad around her plate. "Get this, Rue. She's got us on this stupid cleanse diet that's suppose to get rid of our toxins or whatever, but really, she's just  _killing_ me."

"Stop it," Relir huffed, taking a long drink from her water glass. "We'll be  _so_ hot once you're done with it. That's what all the ads said, anyway."

"You already are," Dex grinned, laughing when his fiancé elbowed him.

Rue pressed her lips together, rolling a cherry tomato around her plate. She couldn't help but eye the empty seat beside her. If she'd had an appetite when she arrived, she certainly didn't have one now. These were the times she would look to Eren for a snarky comment to lighten the mood. They'd laugh, joke about how great it was to be single, gang up on the couple. Relir seemed to read her thoughts and the table grew silent.

"Feels wrong without him," Rue finally said, setting her fork down and sinking back into her seat. Dex nodded, sighing.

"Yeah."

"Hey, remember that time we came here at the waiter flirted with him the whole time?" Relir asked, proud when Rue cracked a smile. "He was so clearly uninterested, and the guy just persisted!"

"Finally told him he wasn't gay, and the guy said the cardigan threw him off," Rue snickered, taking a drink of the ice-cold water. Dex nodded, shoveling another forkful of food in. "Man, Relir. You really are starving the guy."

"I am  _not!_ He's just not used to eating good food."

"Good food doesn't fill me up," Dex countered. Rue raised an eyebrow at her friend pointedly.

"Look at him, Relir! He's a big guy!" There was a long pause and Relir eyed the empty seat. When she spoke, her voice was raw, quiet.

"That's where he would've made a dick joke."

"I was waiting for it."

"Me too," Dex huffed. "I needed the ego boost."

"You know that's  _not_ why he—" Rue started. Dex choked on his food, coughing and laughing at the same time. Relir rolled her eyes, wiped her mouth with her napkin, and patted his back. He waved her away and she shrugged, going back to her meal as he chugged his water.

"... There's space for another joke," Relir sang out, raising her eyebrows. Rue rolled her eyes.

"What? Dex doesn't swallow?"

"There it is!" Dex cheered, throwing his hands in the air. "She lives!"

"Did you give him caffeine?" Rue hissed, leaning forward. Relir chewed on her lip, rocking her head from side to side.

"I mean, it's part of the diet."

"Gods, Relir. He's losing his shit."

"Not yet," Dex replied, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Not yet," Relir agreed.

"Gods, you guys are teaming up on me when I'm defenseless?"

"Hey, life ain't fair," Dex shrugged, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"No, it's not."

Rue felt her stomach tighten when she tried to take a bite and gave up, shoving her plate away. Relir forced a sad smile, reaching forward to grab Rue's hands. Dex's eyes stayed on the table, something like guilt reflecting in his eyes.  _He remembers her._ Relir's gaze met hers and she took a deep breath, her shoulders squaring and looking broader beneath the white sweater she adorned.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, either of you," she started, running her thumbs over Rue's knuckles. "But... I've been thinking about it, and I kind of wish that..." She cleared her throat, frowning. "I wish Eren would've died in Gralia just like all the others." Rue's voice cracked; she spoke before she thought, letting her eyes fall to their hands.

"He did."

"... Yeah." Relir pulled away. "Damn guys, we're depressing."

"Life's depressing," Dex muttered. Rue laughed.

"Ain't that the truth."

"How's the house coming along?" Relir asked, changing the subject. Rue shrugged, looking around the dining room to see if she could find any familiar faces.

"It's okay. I had to watch my neighbor's kids last night."

"Really?"

"Yeah, get this." Rue felt her face go red as she recalled what she was doing just before the woman knocked. She prayed the dim lighting hid her cheeks. "This crazy bitch knocks on my door, kids in hand, and says she'll pick them up in the morning. She was looking me up and down like she was trying to figure out if I was a good person based on my  _pajamas_."

"You were in pajamas?" Relir laughed, shaking her head. "And you'd probably been drinking."

"Just a little. Don't make it sound like I have a problem." Rue shook her head. "Anyway, they were twelve and five, these two Imperial girls. Kept asking me if I knew the king and how rich I am."  _Not entirely true, but I can't admit he was there._ "I finally got them to sleep—I had to hold the little one  _forever—_ and then I leave for two fucking minutes to check my phone. I come back and they're freaking out because they peed all over my damn couch."

"Gross," Relir huffed. "Never sitting there again."

"Honestly, me neither." Rue sighed. "I guess it made my life a little more interesting."

"True." Relir cocked her head to the side, watching with disdain as Dex wolfed down the remnants of her meal as well. "I don't want you to feel rushed, so don't take it that way—"

"Here we go," Dex grumbled.

"But have you thought about finding someone? You know, just to keep you company? Even just a roommate would be good, I just get nervous about you being alone."

"Why? Don't think I can take care of myself?"

"No, not at all. If anyone's good at being isolated, it's you." Relir picked at her short nails, crinkling her nose. "But that's the thing. You get so...  _dark_ when you're alone that long, y'know? I'm a terrible friend and I hate checking in on people, so I'd just feel better if there was someone willing to be around you for a few hours."

"You make it sound like a need a babysitter," Rue scoffed, insulted. Still, she felt giddy at the prospect of her secret fling with Ignis. Relir was concerned, sure, but she didn't know that her problem was already solved.

"Why the hell are you smiling? I'm serious."

"You're ridiculous," Rue murmured, finishing off her water.

Her heart skipped a beat when someone finally caught her eye. It was Prompto, walking through the tightly packed seating with his head high as he searched for a specific table. Quickly, she raised her arm up into the air and waved, easily catching his attention. His face broke out into a grin and he hurried over, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Heyya, Rue. What're you doing here?"

"Spending some quality time with some shitty people," Rue shrugged. Relir rolled her eyes and Dex laughed, shaking his head. "This is Relir; the douche bag's name is Dex."

"Not a douche," Dex sang out under his breath. Prompto laughed.

"What're you doing here?" Rue asked, smiling. "Got a hot date?"

"If you count the big guy, no."

"Big guy as in Gladio?" Rue frowned.

"Yeah, everyone else, too. We thought we'd all just grab dinner and hang out like old times," he shrugged. Rue's heart sank.  _They're sick of me?_ Prompto easily read her thoughts, quick to correct himself. "Oh, well, I mean, don't think we didn't want you to come or anything. Rayne's not there, either, so I guess it's not  _everyone._ Gladio maybe just the four of us could go." He tilted his head uncomfortably. "Besides... You don't work for Iggy anymore, so Noct didn't see why you should have to go." Rue's mouth went dry.

"Why didn't Rayne go?"

"Her brother's supposed to be coming back from Caem soon," Prompto answered, cheering up. "Gladio says she wants the house to be  _spotless_ so that he doesn't have anything to complain about."

"Is he staying there?"

"I'm sure he'll be seeing Axel, so no." They laughed, though Rue's smile was forced.

"Right, makes sense." Rue glanced at Relir, who frowned at her. "Well, better let you get back to the guys. They might think I stole you just to be spiteful; wouldn't want that."

"See ya around." With a final wave, Prompto hurried off to wherever it was he and the others were seated. Rue sighed, pouring a few pieces of ice into her mouth and crunching away. Relir shot Dex a look before speaking.

"Told you they were all assholes."

"Don't do that. They're allowed to hang out."

"Rue, you're pissed. You only become an ice-chomper when you're upset."

"Fuck off." Rue set her cup down and scowled at Relir. "What, do you want to hear that you were right? Was I so stupid to hope that they'd care once I was gone? Even Gladio's been acting weird since I transferred."

"I'm just saying that you should've seen it coming." Relir slouched, shrugging one shoulder. Dex looked uncomfortable. "They had no reason to carry you on their leash once you were booted. I guess Ignis just decided enough was enough."

"I wasn't  _booted,"_ Rue snapped defensively. "It's fine; I have you guys. Even if the rest of the Glaive  _hates_ my guts..." She chewed more ice sourly.

"Everyone thinks you slept with Ignis to get there," Relir said. Rue shot her an irritated look.

"Yeah, you think I'm deaf? I know that."

"Well...?" Relir stared at her expectantly and Dex cleared his throat, inching away from her.

"Well what?"

"Did you?"

"Are you  _serious?"_ Rue laughed incredulously, tugging at the roots of her hair. "You're joking, right? Is that actually how you see me?"

"No, not at all. I just—"

"Right, no, I get it. I'm just a stupid slut, right?"

"Rue, seriously, cut it out."

"No, tell me I'm right," Rue insisted sardonically, beckoning for Relir to obey. "I don't ever see you in a hurry to defend me when people talk like that. So, admit it; I'm a whore."

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Relir demanded, eyes alight with her fiery spirit. "You want to know what I think of you, Rue?"

"Enlighten me."

People were beginning to stare; she couldn't care less.

"Fine. I think you're hopelessly, desperately alone and you want  _something_ to help drag you out of the hole you keep digging for yourself. I think you're ungrateful for what you have because you're so focused on what you miss. I think that some nights I can't fucking  _sleep_ because I'm afraid you'll decide enough is enough and end it all without so much as a warning!" She slammed her palms onto the table and Dex jumped, closing his eyes. "I think you're a  _bitch_ _,_ but you're  _not_ a whore and you  _definitely_ didn't fuck Ignis Scientia."

"Good." Rue stood, tossing a crinkled wad of cash on the table. "That's for my check."

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Relir demanded, leaping to her feet. Rue tugged her raincoat on and zipped it up.

"Home."

"Don't you dare run again! Eren wouldn't want you pulling this shit!"

"Fuck off, Relir. You're not my mother."

Rue turned on her heels and hurried toward the entrance of the restaurant, keeping her head ducked low. She couldn't help but look around, ashamed as people stared and whispered, watching her go. Her face went hot when she saw Prompto point at her from a booth along the wall, blushing as the king and his retainers watched her storm out like an angered child. Struggling to breathe, she swallowed the lump in her throat and shoved the door open, rushing out into the evening cold. It was pouring rain when they arrived; it was sprinkling when she left.

Choking, she slipped into a narrow alley nearby and buried her face in her hands, sinking to the muddy ground. Her fingers tugged at the roots of her hair as she cried. People passed by as they always did, eyeing her with pity but never with sympathy. The water was cold, soaking through her shoes and socks, dripping onto her head, drenching her pants.  _It's not fair. He's supposed to be there, laughing with us._ Her breaths stuttered through her tight throat, suffocating her slowly as she gasped for air, shaking.  _He was my happiness._ It was agonizing to envision his face. She missed his smile.  _Gods, no wonder they got sick of me._

"Wanna talk about it?"

Rue nearly jumped out of her skin, a half-cry, half-sob echoing from her throat and bouncing off the brick walls of the alleyway. She glanced up to see Prompto sinking to the ground beside her, blue eyes staring dead ahead at the dumpster across from them. She shook her head, running a hand through her hair to get it out of her face.

"No." She reconsidered. "Yes. I don't know." The silence seemed to echo. Prompto didn't speak to fill it, only waited for her to explain in her own time. He just wanted to listen. "It's just... It doesn't feel right with them anymore. Not without Eren." She scrubbed at the tears on her cheeks and shook her head. "I don't know. It's stupid and I should just let the past die, but I miss those days."

"What days?"

"When I didn't have a dime to my name and Eren and I could crack jokes all throughout dinner just to get on Relir's nerves and..." She sighed, drawing her knees closer. "I miss working for Ignis. Those glaives are real bitches for gossip. Say I cheated my way in by cuddling up to Rayne. Which I guess I did, but they also... they  _seriously_ think I played around as some sort of sex slave for Ignis to get there, too."

"That's screwed up," he frowned, finally looking at her. She didn't look back, scoffing.

"Yeah, it is." Rue pulled her jacket tight and looked up at the dark night sky, watching the gray clouds drift past. "It's stupid, but... I get so scared of losing other people that I push them away before they get the chance to leave me of their own accord. I seem to be doing that more and more lately." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "It's like I'm not even human anymore. I'm a fucking machine going from day to day and praying for  _anything_ to keep me hanging on. I  _miss_ him."

"Yeah..." Prompto twisted the bracelets on his wrists around and around and around. "But you still have  _us._ "

"No offense, but you're going to get bored of me at some point. It always happens." She sighed. "That or you'll find something you never wanted to know and that'll drive you away."

Prompto took a deep breath.

"... Can I show you something?"

"I guess."

She expected him to stand and lead the way to another location, somewhere special that would dry her tears and make her smile. Instead, she looked over to see Prompto pulling the bracelets off, brow furrowed and lips pressed together tightly. He turned his arm over and Rue saw a pattern of lines inked along his wrist. A barcode, by the looks of it. For a moment, she was confused.  _Okay... some sort of metaphor tattoo?_ The look on his face told her said anything but.

"It's not just for decoration, you know," he said, running his fingers over the lines. He jerked away as though they'd sparked and shocked him. "I'm... not entirely human, either."

"What do you mean?" she asked, mouth dry.

"I was  _cloned_ as some sick man's science project," he explained, words spit bitterly into the air. "I was created in a test tube. I'm not..." He swallowed hard, shaking his head and turning away from her to look out at the street. "I didn't tell any of them, not until we were in Gralia and we needed to get through the labs to get the Crystal. I was their key to unlocking the doors—literally."

"Prompto—"

"I was so scared, Rue. They're all so... official and special and shit, and I'm just... me. I didn't even know why Noct brought me to begin with, not even when he thought I was human. I was supposed to be an Imperial  _weapon_ —a thing. Not a person." He looked over his shoulder at her, a thin smile crossing his lips. "But... When they saw, they were nothing but proud of how far I'd come. I was scared they'd hate me for the things I never wanted them to know, but it only made us closer."

"... I'm proud of you, too," Rue finally said, placing her hand on his shoulder. He puffed out a short laugh, his breath clouding as steam, and shook his head.

"Thanks, but this isn't about me." He twisted around, his shoes squeaking on the wet pavement. "We're not gonna stop lovin' you, Rue. Not now, not ever. There's something so great about having another outsider around, y'know? Gladio really appreciates everything you've done for me, Iggy, and Rayne, even if he doesn't say it." He laughs, his spiked hair bouncing. "Hell, even Rayne's happy you came along. I guess Noct doesn't know you too well, but I heard him say he's happy Iggy's finally found someone who gets him."

"I wouldn't say I get him at  _all,"_ Rue scoffed, smiling at the prospect of the king mentioning her name in the context of his advisor's. "He sure as  _hell_ doesn't get me."

"No, he doesn't." Prompto snickered. His nose was turning pink from the cold. "But he really, genuinely likes you, Rue, and that's not something that comes easy." Her heart fluttered in her chest and she found it difficult to breathe, but it wasn't the tears this time. "Are you okay? You just got a funny look on your face."

"Yeah, no, I'm okay." Rue tucked her hair behind her ear and offered him a smile. "Don't you have a dinner to be at?"

"Yeah, I've been looking out for the guys, but I haven't seen them head out yet." He frowned. "I know it's not my car or whatever, but I'm sure we could give you a lift home. Gladio's taking me back. He drove us all out together."

"Are you kidding? When I look like  _this?_ "

"Oh, c'mon. It's not like they haven't seen you cry before," he teased, bumping his shoulder against hers. "By now, it just looks like you spent too long in the cold."

"Does it?" They sat in silence for a moment as she thought. "I don't want to bother you guys."

"It's not a bother," he insisted. "I'm sure they'll be happy to see you."

"Will they? I didn't do too well with Gladio today."

"You think he cares?"

"... Are there enough seats?"

"In Gladio's behemoth of a car? Hell yeah there are." His head swiveled around at the sound of voices and he stood, brushing off his clothes. He offered her a hand with a smile. "Well, they're heading out. It's now or never."

"I—" Rue took his hand, about to head in the other direction when over Prompto's shoulder her eyes met Ignis's. She knew she looked worse than Prompto made it sound and lowered her head, embarrassed.  _I'm a wreck._ "Okay," she mumbled, giving in. Pleased, Prompto dragged her to the rest of the group, most of whom stood waiting with smiles.

"Hey, is it okay if we drop her off with me?" he asked. Noctis snorted.

"Prom's gettin' bold."

"Yeah, sure. We'll start takin' in the homeless next," Gladio grunted, crossing his arms. He was grinning like a fool. "Welcome to the Amicitia bus."

"Long time, no see," Rue teased half-heartedly. Gladio chuckled, shaking his head.

"Get your ass in the front, Corden. I can't listen to Prompto's shit music the whole way back, too."

"It's not shit music," Prompto huffed, but he didn't argue further. Nodding gratefully, Rue forced a small smile and followed them down the sidewalk to the nearby parking complex. The air was cold and her clothes were wet, but she held her head down and bore the discomfort, hoping she wouldn't ruin his seats with the water.

"Rayne didn't send you on an errand today. Perhaps she's given up." Rue glanced to her right, where Ignis now walked, looking forward but very clearly speaking to her.

"I don't think we'd be that lucky."

"You never know. She may have gotten distracted trying to pair animals."

"Is that what she does these days?"

"What're you whispering about back there?" Noctis demanded, shooting Ignis a look. Gladio chuckled.

"Rayne's little scheme."

"What?"

"Dude, you didn't hear?" Prompto laughed, throwing his head back. "Rayne's been trying to set Iggy 'n Rue up for the past few days, forcing 'em together and stuff."

"Seriously?" Noctis scoffed, looking back at them. "Sorry, I don't see it."

"No?" Prompto grinned slowing his stride to elbow Rue. "Her face is getting red, though. Maybe she wants it, Ignis!"

"I was  _crying,"_ Rue hissed defensively. "And no, I don't want  _it._ "

"You sure?" Gladio teased, unlocking his car. As everyone lowered seats and climbed into the back, he leaned closer, arching an eyebrow. His grin made her uneasy. "I know for a fact he does."

"What?" she whispered back, startled. He glanced back to see if the others were paying attention. He sat back in his seat and mouthed, "Rayne."  _Damn_ _that big-mouthed—_

"Ready to go?" Gladio backed out of the parking space. Rue could already tell he was a  _hardcore_  speeder. "We'll drop Prom and Rue off and then head back to the Citadel for Iggy's car. That way I can kiss His Majesty goodnight."

"Buzz off," Noctis huffed, staring out the window. Gladio jerked the wheel to the right to make a sudden turn and Rue gripped the door, pressing her lips together.  _I'm actually going to die in this vehicle._

"So, what was the dinner drama?" Gladio asked. Rue gritted her teeth, watching rain hit the windshield.

"Eren."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Rue propped her head up with her palm, resting her elbow on the edge of the window. "And me. Today I learned I'm a depressive, slutty bitch with self-destructive tendencies. Who knew?"

"Very educational," Prompto nodded. "Didn't need the diagnosis, though."

"Definitely not," Rue laughed. Gladio chuckled.

"Slutty, huh? Have anything to do with the Glaive gossip?"

" _Gods,_ how did you know?"

"I guess the ladies in Insomnia have it out for you and Iggy," Prompto snickered. Even Noctis was smiling. Ignis frowned and Noct raised an eyebrow.

"Do you really not know?"

"Know what?" The advisor shot Gladio a look in the rearview mirror. He met Rue's eyes for half a second, but it was enough.

"Specs, even  _I_ know."

"Did Rayne put them up to something?"

"No, they just used their brains," Prompto sighed. Noctis looked up at Rue.

"You wanna tell him or should I?"

"I'd rather not," Rue cringed, though she turned around in her seat to watch Ignis's reaction. Noct grinned, turning to his advisor.

"Word on the streets is you got laid."

" _Pardon_?"

"Everyone thinks Rue fucked you to get the Glaive job."

"Whoa, not even a language lecture!" Prompto cried. Ignis looked nothing short of mortified; Gladio cracked up.

"People love their stories, Iggy. Don't take it personally."

"Do they really think that of me?" he demanded. Rue snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Dude, they think that of  _me._  Citadel whore, remember? Duh."

"That's hardly..." Ignis shut his mouth halfway through his sentence, shaking his head. He was  _very_ irritated. Prompto giggled, punching his friend's shoulder.

"Hey, maybe it's not so bad. Now the ladies'll be lining up around the block for a taste of  _Iggy._ "

"Gods." Noctis grimaced, shaking his head. Rue's eyebrows pinched together.

"I agree with him. Don't say 'taste.'"

" _Technically—_ "

"You're gonna give the man an aneurysm," Gladio warned, though he looked thoroughly entertained. "Prom, your guys' stop is up here."

"Aw, thanks mister bus driver."

"Shut up and get out."

Rue thanked him, sliding out of the front seat with a final glance at Ignis. He was distracted, moving over so Prompto could climb out. The blonde combed his hair out of his eyes and opened his arms: an invitation. Rue took it, hooking her arms under his and holding him close. She could feel him smiling and it made her smile.

"Remember what I said today," he murmured. She nodded eagerly, squeezing him harder. The image of his brand was burned into her eyelids. How someone so  _wonderful_ came from something so horrid blew her mind. Maybe there was hope for her after all.

"Thank you, Prompto."

"Goodnight."

He pulled away with a warm smile and turned to head home, hands jammed into his pockets. Rue walked in the other direction, arms crossed tightly to keep the cold out. Behind her, Gladio's headlights turned away and disappeared down the road. Digging out her keys, Rue unlocked her door and turned on the lights, taking a deep breath of the scent in the air.  _Home._ Honey padded over to her and meowed loudly, her signature demand for food. Rue obliged, gnawing on her cheek.

Something felt off, and despite recent events, she knew it had little to do with what happened at dinner. Finally, it struck her. She hadn't so much as  _acknowledged_ Ignis until she was forced to with the group. She felt bad. They both had a tendency to overthink, it seemed. She dug into her pocket for her phone but paused.  _Relir..._ It took her a moment to swallow her pride, but once she was in pajamas and lying in bed, she gathered her courage and texted her friend a quick apology. Satisfied, she pressed her lips together, pulled Honey closer, and sent Ignis a message.

_Well, it's nice to know everyone has faith in us._

Rue gritted her teeth.  _Cringy, but it's better than "Hey, sorry I ignored you. I'm scared of rejection."_ She switched to watching videos to calm her mind. The longer he took to respond, the more anxious she got.  _Maybe this isn't what he's looking for._ Her stomach got tighter.  _Maybe that's why he didn't..._ She shook her head and scratched Honey's chin. She found it  _very_ difficult to follow the events on her screen and, eventually, she gave up, reaching over to turn off the light. The vibration of her phone scared her half to death.

_I never knew there were so many conspiracy theorists in the Citadel. Perhaps Rayne should investigate the issue._

_If anyone started it, it was Rayne._

She laughed to herself and began to type out a second message, knowing this would get them nowhere.

_How was your day? I wasn't forced to come visit you._

_Just as any other, though Prompto and Gladio got into a sort of balance contest._

_What the hell is that?_

_I'm not entirely sure. Something about stacking things on their heads to test their posture._

_Like princesses?_

_Exactly._

_Who won?_

_Gladio._

_Of course he did. Bet that's a new brag on his ego's resume._

_It most certainly will be._

Rue couldn't contain her smile, proud that she'd managed to keep him talking. Most of their conversations over the phone had been very brief, from questions about the fax machine to photos of things she'd done incorrectly. This was something else entirely. She chewed on her cheek nervously, trying to think of something to say. He got there before her.

_It's likely none of my business, but are you feeling alright?_

_I'm fine. It was just hard being there with just the three of us. Didn't feel complete._

_I understand._

_Was it weird when Noctis was gone?_

_It was disheartening._

_Gotcha._

Rue glanced at the clock and sighed. She was exhausted; an early bedtime would be wise after she sacrificed a good night's sleep to babysit the night before.

_I'm gonna hit the hay. Maybe Rayne'll make me deliver some bullshit papers again tomorrow._

_Perhaps, if we're lucky._

That made her heart sing and her cheeks hurt from smiling.  _Smooth bastard._

_But I'm a symbol of misfortune, Mr. Scientia. There's only so much we can hope for._

_As long as she lives, Rayne will be stubborn. I'm certain she'll pull something tomorrow._

_We'll see, I guess._

With that, she forced herself to set her phone aside and shut the lights off. Honey curled up by her head, purring softly as she slept. Rue pulled her covers up high and squeezed her eyes shut. Tomorrow had to be a better day; she had to see him. She couldn't help it anymore. In the beginning, it had been a simple curiosity, but now that she saw the treasure in the distance, she couldn't stop thinking about it, wondering how she would get there. It was only a matter of time before she found the right path, but she was beginning to wonder if she would need help after all.


	51. Patience, a Virtue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Heavy" by POWERS

“So, I was thinking,” Rayne started, swinging her legs as she sat on the edge of her desk. Rue sat before her, still in her clothes from training, arms crossed.

“Well, that’s dangerous.”

“And I don’t partake often,” Rayne retorted, smiling fondly. “But… I still think you and Iggy are  _perfect._ ”

“Rayne, seriously,” Rue groaned, falling into one of the chairs nearby and pinching the bridge of her nose. “We’ve been through this. It’s not gonna happen.”

“I mean, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but…” Rayne shrugged, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Gladio knows what happened and he agrees. Ignis doesn’t just  _do_ that shit. It means something.”

“Good for him.” Rue tried her best to look indifferent. “It’s better this way, Rayne. Even if Ignis  _did_ want something, he’s way safer keeping to himself and getting over it.”

“Love isn’t about being safe.”

“This isn’t about  _love_.”

“What is it, then?” Rayne arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You can’t lie to me, Rue. You know what happened when you called me drunk that one night? You went  _on_ and  _on_ about how attractive Iggy is. Said he’s twelve times better than Gladio.” She wrestled a mischievous grin. “Now, I don’t agree with you  _at all,_ but that has to mean  _something._ ” Rue’s face went red.  _Shit_ _, that’s what happened?_

“He was there, wasn’t he?”

“Who, Iggy? Yeah. He heard the whole thing, got all mumbly and red. I thought it was cute.” Rayne laughed, shaking her head. “I’m telling you; you’ve got feelings for him.”

“And I’m telling you you’re wrong. Just because I think someone’s attractive doesn’t mean we’re meant to be.” She stood, digging deep into her quelled anger for something far more…  _convincing._ “Besides, he got significantly  _less_ attractive when he decided to kiss a girl who was  _clearly_ taken.”

“Ouch.” Rayne winced and took a deep breath. “Fine, you’re still mad at him. I get it. But I’m  _telling_ you—if you give him a chance, you might be surprised.”

“I don’t gamble,” Rue huffed, standing.  _That’s a fucking lie and you know it._ She hid a smile.  _Isn’t that the whole point?_

“Fine, fine. I’ll get you to see someday.”

“Maybe by that point he’ll be moving on.”

“Bitch, he loved me for ten years. The guy doesn’t let people go  _that_  easily.”  _Ow._

“Ever wonder how much that had to hurt? I mean, to see his two best friends fall in love after all those years of trying to get through to you.” Rayne’s smile fell and she nodded, glancing down at the ring on her finger. “Not to make you feel bad, I just think about it sometimes.”

“No, I do too. But that’s the thing, I guess, is that I just couldn’t ever look at him that way. It’s not that he’s hideous or a terrible person or anything. I just can’t deal with people who are  _that_ _particular_ and  _that_ careful. He thinks  _everything_ through until he loses his goddamn mind and I needed someone who could talk me down from that shit, not egg me on.”

“Makes sense. You strike me as a girl to chase down the big, muscly guys anyway.”

“I like competition,” she shrugged smugly, flexing. Rue rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, throwing a hip out to the side.

“Is that all you needed? Pretty sure I’m supposed to be wandering around and waiting for  _someone_ to ask for a break.”

“No, it’s not.” Rayne grinned, leaning back onto the heels of her hands. “Gladio and I were gonna go out for dinner tonight and I thought  _maybe_ we could haul you and Iggy along. Gladio doesn’t mind.”

“I just went out last night,” Rue protested. “I can’t keep eating at restaurants.”

“Why not? It’s not like you get anything but rabbit food anyway,” Rayne scoffed. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. I’ll drink too much, Gladio will baby me, Iggy’ll pick his food apart so he can recreate it at home… Doesn’t that sound like a good time?”

“I’d rather babysit the neighbor’s kids again,” Rue muttered.

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Rayne smacked her arm. “Seriously, go tell Iggy that’s the plan. We’ll be at the place at seven, but you should have him get you earlier. Spend some  _quality time_ together, if you catch my drift.” She winked. Rue’s cheeks went pink.

“Yeah, okay. We’ll probably just discuss his worries about Noctis.” Rue brushed her hair out of her face. “Is  _that_ all?”

“Yup. Go talk to Ignis and then find somewhere to stand guard. There’s not much I need you guys doing these days, anyway.”

“Great.”

Rue stepped out into the hall, wrestling a smile.  _He was right after all._ Quickly, she adjusted her clothes, realizing she was still in her sweaty outfit from training just as she reached his door.  _Should I change…?_ Shaking her head, she knocked, waiting for a response. It took a moment, but it finally came. Slowly, she opened the door and peeked her head in. Prompto lounged in the seat before Ignis’s desk, perking up when he saw her.

“Hey! Long time, no see!”

“Hey Prompto,” she greeted, smiling. Ignis raised an eyebrow, waiting. Rue cleared her throat. “Uh, Rayne wanted me to talk to you about something.” Prompto sat and waited expectantly. She pressed her lips together, glancing back up at Ignis. “Something  _important._ ”

“Prompto, we’ll continue this discussion later,” Ignis said to the gunman, sending a clear message. Prompto sighed, heaving himself to his feet.

“Alright, alright. I know when I’m not wanted.”

“Don’t be like that,” Rue scoffed, squeezing his arm when he walked past. “See you around, buddy.”

“Yeah, see ya.”

“What was the topic of this  _discussion?”_  Rue asked lightheartedly, closing the door behind her. “Is he still upset that Cor won’t let him hang around the throne room?”

“Certainly,” Ignis replied, pushing his glasses up with one finger. “He also spoke about last night.”

“Which part?” Rue inquired, sitting in the seat. It was still warm. Ignis bit back the urge to tell her to sit up. She had terrible posture.

“All of it,” he admitted. “He showed you the barcode.”

“Yeah.” She sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “It’s weird. Looking back, I feel like I should’ve freaked out, but… I don’t know. It blows my mind that he’s so normal. Not even that, he’s just such a  _great_ person. You wouldn’t expect that if you knew where he was from beforehand.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Ignis sank back into his seat, thoughtfully twisting his pen around in his hand. “But I suppose that only speaks to the decisions we make on wrongful judgements in this world.”

“Getting philosophical, are we?” she teased. Ignis shook his head and leaned forward, clasping his hands together.

“What was it that Rayne wanted?”

“Oh, you’ll love this.” Rue sat up and crossed her bare arms, cold. “She wants us to cash in on an opportunity to crash she and Gladio’s date night.”

“You’re joking,” he muttered, but he didn’t look the slightest bit annoyed by the idea.

“Nope. Says it might show me your  _true colors,_ ” she laughed. Ignis cracked a smile, glancing at his phone when the screen lit up before tucking it out of sight. “She and Gladio will be at this restaurant at seven and you should pick me up and whatever. But get this: she wants me to tell you to come early so that we can  _get to know each other better._ ” She giggled, shaking her head. “She is the  _worst._ ”

“I might be inclined to agree,” Ignis sighed, shaking his head. “She certainly is dedicated to the cause.”

“Never thought someone would ship me so hard with someone,” Rue admitted smugly, shrugging. Ignis’s eyes turned to the surface of the desk for a moment before returning to hers, bright in the sunlight pouring in from his windows.

“It would seem her ship has begun to set sail without her knowledge.” Rue’s heart skipped a beat and she couldn’t hide the smile that crept across her face.

“Maybe our captain should be keeping a better eye out. She’s too focused on the wheel to set the sails.”  _Let’s hope we don’t find any holes that’ll sink it, though._

“Hm.” Ignis shook his head and typed something into his computer, undoubtedly adjusting his schedule. “And you don’t mind attending?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Well,” Ignis started, glancing away from the screen to look at her. “We don’t haveto go with  _them_.” Rue couldn’t find words for a moment. In the past few days, the man could hardly utter a word when it came to this new development between them. Now it seemed he’d woken up and realized that it wasn’t a dream after all. Her heart was doing all sorts of tricks in her chest.

“As much as I’d love that, Rayne would beat our asses if she found out. Honestly, she’d probably start tracking our phones if she got suspicious.”

“You’re not wrong.” Ignis gave in, entered something else, and turned back to her. “Tonight, at six-thirty, then.”

“I guess so. Ready to deal with drunk Rayne?”

“I’m not so sure. I’ll have Gladio cut her off early.”

“Could you? Please? I don’t know how many explicit stories I can handle tonight.”

“I apologize, but that seems to be a part of her personality.”

“That’s bullshit,” Rue huffed, rolling her eyes. “I can’t tell you how many graphic details I’ve heard about she and Gladio doin’ it. I can’t even look the guy in the eyes anymore without thinking about them. It’s  _gross._ ”

“That seems to be more of a personal issue than Rayne’s.”

“Shut  _up_.” Rue scoffed, standing and straightening her clothes. “I guess I have to go hunt for something to do now. Rayne’s got too many of us scheduled for today and there’s nothing to do but train and guard doors.”

“If you’re willing, I have a few things I could use help with.”  _That sounds like a line right off a cheesy porno._

“What’s that?” Rue asked, trying to keep a straight face. She drew closer to the desk, narrowing her eyes to read the writing in the open notebook on his desk. He noticed and quickly removed it from her sight. “Oh, come on. I was snooping.”

“A little too obviously for my tastes. You’re not authorized to access that information. I apologize.” When he finally looked up at her, he did not look the least bit sorry. In fact, he looked like he was  _relishing_ in her disappointment, the sadist.

“Yeah, yeah. Forgot I’m not important anymore.”

“Stop your sulking. Here, bring this to Prompto and help him alphabetize these files.” He stood and turned away, heaving a large box onto his desk. It hit the wood with a thud. “Cor used this for something earlier and put it all out of order.” Rue eyed the names labeled on the folders and plucked one out, opening the file.

“Isn’t this the girl that quit the other day?”

“Who?” Ignis leaned forward across the gap to read the name. Rue got chills when she felt his warmth radiating onto her shoulder. “Oh, yes. I suppose it is.”

“You losing your shit without me?” she teased, looking up from the page to meet his gaze. The slightest smile tugged at the corners of his lips and a short, puffed breath came from his nostrils.

“It hardly seems I’m without you anymore.”

Rue rolled her eyes, but she didn’t hesitate to close the gap, setting the folder down and resting her hands on the edge of the desk to lean closer. Their lips only parted for air, drawn back by the promise of solitude and the excitement of their gamble with time. She wanted more so  _badly,_ but she knew that was impossible, at least here. It was a wonder that Ignis was entertaining  _this_ lapse in professionalism at all, but he certainly seemed to be enjoying it with his fingers pinching her chin to draw her even nearer and his other hand gently holding her hair out of her face.

Rue jerked away with a gasp when she heard the click of the doorknob, immediately stuffing the folder into the box and lifting it with a strained grunt.

“I’ll get these over right away.”

“Good.” Ignis glanced up to see Gladio entering, his heart pounding in his chest so loudly he was certain they could hear it. “What is it?”

“Cor’s having a meeting in five,” Gladio replied, shooting Rue a look. “The hell's that? You puttin’ her back to work?”

“He will if Rayne won’t,” Rue sang out, stepping around him. “See you tonight, big guy.”

“Yeah.”

~|~|~|~|~

“So, I’m sure you noticed the change of plans,” Rayne started, sticking her head out of the car window. “We decided that picking Iggy up from his place on our way over was better than having him waste gas.”

“Sure,” Rue grumbled, locking her door and hurrying toward the car. Rayne whistled.

“Lookin’ good, hot stuff.”

“Just for you,” Rue returned with a wink, climbing into the backseat. “I almost died in the shower today.”

“Fun, fun,” Rayne mumbled, turning around to face her as Gladio pulled out of the driveway. “How’d you manage that?”

“By merely existing.”

“Fair enough.”

“When’s Signum coming to town?” Rue asked, changing the subject comfortably. She adjusted the edge of her shirt to hide the edge of the midriff that was exposed every time she moved away from perfect posture.  _Should’ve worn a longer one._

“Tomorrow,” Rayne sighed, sinking lower into her seat. “He got held up with some business.”

They came to an abrupt stop at a light and she held out her hand. Gladio took it absentmindedly, pressing her knuckles to his lips as he eyed the evening traffic. Normally, Rue would’ve rolled her eyes. Instead, she lowered her gaze to her lap before glancing at Ignis. She was alarmed to see him looking back, arching an eyebrow when she caught him. Pressing her lips together to hide her smile, she turned back to the front as they started to move again, though Gladio didn’t let go, brows creased.

“Does that mean Iris is coming?” Rue frowned, striking the conversation back up as the idea hit her.

“Yeah, she should be,” Gladio grumbled. Rue’s heart jumped when he pulled around a corner too fast. “She won’t answer my calls, though. Has a bad habit of doin’ that.”

“She seems to receive Noct’s just fine,” Ignis pointed out wryly and Gladio grunted in response.

“She’s a big girl, Gladdy,” Rayne teased, flashing a grin. “She’ll be alright.”

“She’d be better if she didn’t have to drag your brother’s sorry ass around.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s getting better about it, though.”

“So you say,” Ignis muttered, earning a playful scowl that he merely smiled back at.

“Got no part in it, Iggy. It’s family drama,” Gladio teased, pulling into a parking spot. He turned around to grin at the advisor. “Maybe someday you’ll get it.”

“As far as I know, I have no siblings to gossip about,” Ignis quipped. Rue snorted.

“As far as he knows.”

“Guys, we’re here?” Rayne reminded them, rolling her eyes and climbing out.

“Coming,” Rue sighed, hopping out of the car and straightening her clothes. Rayne looked her up and down with a smug smile. “What?”

“Dressed for the occasion, I see.”

“Shut up,” Rue scoffed. “What was I supposed to wear, my uniform? I just didn’t want to look like shit for once.”

“Mm. What a coincidence, huh?”

With that, Rayne snickered and looped her arm through Gladio’s, leading the way to the waiter that stood by the outdoor tables.  _What the hell is this place? Looks casual as shit… I’ll have to take Relir and Dex here sometime._ Ignis walked beside her, absorbing the sights quickly.

“Do me a favor and keep me from strangling her,” she muttered under her breath. Ignis smiled and nodded.

“I’ll do what I can. Just in case, though… What’s our escape plan?”

“Hm… I can take Gladio’s keys while he’s still in shock and then you can drive us away.”

“Where to?”

“Let me see…” Rue felt a small smile creep across her face and she hugged her arms to her body, beaming up at him like an innocent child. “That cliff would be nice.”

“It would.” Ignis cocked his head to the side. “We would be cornered, though, and it would be far too difficult to hide a car. You’re willing to get caught for a good view?”

“I guess so. I’m willing to pay for my crimes, Ignis, I’m no animal.” 

He laughed to himself at that.

“Table for four, please,” Rayne asked, following the hostess who gestured for them to follow.

Their food came quickly, flooding the table with a wall of scents. Rue watched from the corner of her eye as Ignis pulled out his notebook under the table and scribbled down a few notes, studying the meal without care for Rayne’s laughter and Gladio’s teases. She wrestled her own smile and picked at the food on her plate. She hated to admit it, but her stomach was too nervous to handle a meal. There was no way she could eat, not when he was sitting right there. Instead, she looked up at Rayne to see the woman gnawing on a corn cob and giggling at something Gladio said under his breath. Rue raised an eyebrow.

“Y’know, no offense to you, but corn on the cob is the  _worst_ food to eat if you want to look attractive.”

“I don’t have anyone to impress,” Rayne shrugged. “And yes  _offense._ I could make this shit look hot any day.”

“Enlighten me,” Rue replied, clasping her hands together on top of the table. Rayne couldn’t hide her smug grin, turning the cob vertically and shoving the length of it all the way into her mouth, never once breaking eye contact with Rue. Ignis sighed, closing his eyes, and Gladio laughed hard when Rayne’s wink made Rue shudder. “That’s disgusting.”

“Yeah?” Rayne asked. She went to take another bite and gagged, coughing loudly. She beat her chest once and winced. “Damn piece of corn.” Rue laughed, finally managing to down a small piece of tomato.

“Wow, Rayne. Thought you were a swallower.”

“Oh, shut up. I have my moments,” Rayne snapped defensively. Ignis frowned, deciding to pretend he hadn’t heard that.

Rayne rolled her eyes and wolfed down her meal, making a comment on their surroundings every now and then. They sat beneath a weaved pattern of tree branches that was lit by small lanterns and twinkling lights, enveloped in the warmth blowing from heaters along the wooden fence that kept the customers inside and the tourists out. Rue ran a hand through her hair and shot a look to Ignis every now and then, taking note of when he would write and when he wouldn’t.  _What the hell does he use that thing for?_

“I’ve gotta pee,” Rayne announced, getting to her feet. Gladio sighed, standing.

“What a coincidence.”

“Subtle,” Rue snorted, rolling her eyes and setting her fork down. Rayne stuck her tongue out like an insolent child, pushed toward the building by Gladio’s guiding hand. Ignis sighed and eyed Rue’s plate. She spoke up before he could. “I can’t eat in public. I get too nervous that I’m chewing too loudly or that I look like a pig.”

“… I see.” He touched his glasses habitually and nodded toward Rayne and Gladio’s seats. “They seem to be enjoying themselves.”

“Are you not?”

“I think I would enjoy it if it wasn’t forced.”

“And if you didn’t feel like your every move was being watched?” Rue added, raising an eyebrow. He cracked a small smile and their eyes met—and the stare lingered for far too long. Rue cleared her throat and looked away, her face turning red. “It’s really nice here.”

“Is it?”

“For my standards,” she retorted, reaching out and smacking his leg. “You know how humble and plebe-y I am.”

“Of course,” he replied sarcastically. “A lowly peasant in the court of His Majesty’s council. How could I forget?”

“Yeah, really. How  _could_ you?” she teased.  _You’ve gotta try harder than that._ Feeling her heart warm, she laughed to herself.

“What?”

“I just remember one time… I came into your office and you didn’t hear me. I heard this  _sound_ and I couldn’t figure out what it was—and  _then_ I realized you were  _humming_.” She shook her head, smiling as she knocked her shoulder against his. “It’s just funny to me, that’s all.”

“I’ve been caught a few times,” he admitted, enjoying her light mood. “Prompto seems especially amazed by it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it blew my mind, but I still enjoy the memory.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and shrugged, unable to look at him any longer. “Don’t take this  _weirdly_ or whatever, but I think it was kinda cute.” Ignis shook his head and pushed his glasses up before reaching for his water glass.

“Whatever adds to my charm, I suppose.”

Rayne returned first, looking awfully proud of herself.

“You guys getting along okay?” She leaned forward expectantly. “Have you decided that maybe I’m right yet?”

“The more you force it, the less I want it,” Rue shrugged, sucking on an ice cube. “I have authority problems.”

“Damn right you do,” Rayne scoffed. “Gotta whip you into shape. I go too easy on you.”

“It definitely makes the other recruits jealous,” Rue muttered.

“Oh, ignore them. They’re all just little bitches, anyway. We need a good Glaive, one as solid as the one before the Fall.” Rayne crossed her arms, sighing. “ _Unfortunately,_ there’s only one remaining and he wanted nothing to do with us. He’s still stationed in Lestallum, I think.”

“Can’t say I blame him,” Rue murmured. Before anyone could ask, Gladio returned and so did the waiter, who brought their checks.

“I’ve got it all,” Rayne announced, hushing the quick protests that came flying at her. “Shut up. I have nothing to spend all this shit on, anyway. Just let me be nice.” She quickly added the totals in her phone’s calculator, looking up with a genuine smile. Gladio glanced at the final number.

“It’s not that much, doesn’t hurt.”

“Also,” Rayne started, handing the waiter a wad of cash and standing. “Keep the change,” she whispered. “We decided just to drop the two of you off at Iggy’s since we live on the opposite side of the city from you, Rue. He can drive you home from there.”

“Why’d you pick him up to begin with?” Rue huffed.

“Because we’re nice.”

“ _Sure._ ”

The ride was fairly quiet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was satisfied, warm, and cozy, exactly what Rue needed for her evening. Drama-free, unlike the night before.  _When will she text me back?_ She looked back at the message she sent Relir. Unread. Likely ignored.  _Wonderful._ Before she knew it, they’d pulled up into Ignis’s driveway, guided only by the fading light of the nearly set sun. Gladio muttered something about getting the headlights fixed and Rayne hushed him.

“Okay, all jokes aside, that was fun and I’m stuffed. See you guys around.”

“Yeah.” Rue slipped out of the car and stared up at the house.  _Gods, last time I was here…._

“I apologize,” Ignis muttered, leading the way to the door. “I need to go inside to retrieve my keys.”

“You have them on separate rings?”

“Yes.” Without explaining, he glanced over his shoulder. “I suppose you’re welcome inside for the moment that we’re here.”

“You suppose,” she scoffed, eagerly following him in and sheltering her bare sides from the cold with her arms.

The scent of his house was vaguely familiar; the last time she was here at night, she sought refuge from her landlord’s anger as she scrubbed children's blood from her carpet. The thought gave her chills. Ignis turned on the lights to the entryway, heading further in to give her room. As he reached up to pull a set of keys off a hook on the wall, she checked her vibrating phone. She read the text and her face broke out into a grin. 

_BTW, you don’t have to come in tomorrow. Call it a rest day. Also, too many people are here at once. Just be ready to call a taxi if I call you for an emergency!_

_Thanks! Have a good night!_

“Sweet! Rayne just gave me tomorrow off,” Rue exclaimed.

She glanced up to see Ignis staring at the keys in his hand, his brow furrowed and his lips pursed. Her heart sank; what was he thinking? Did he regret going tonight? Did he finally decide this was a waste of his time? She swallowed to ease the ache of her dry throat and broke the silence.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Rue fully expected him to look up solemnly and make a quick, dry response before brushing past her and heading to the car to send her home in a doomed ride of uncomfortable silence. Instead, she was startled, stumbling back a step when he suddenly started toward her. Their lips crashed roughly, and her heart began to pound hard inside her chest. She was  _not_ expecting  _that._ Her back hit the door and her hands grasped his collar, pulling him close. A short, surprised grunt came from her throat when her head knocked on the wood. Starkly contrasting his usual gentle, hesitant touches, Ignis gripped her hips tightly, running his thumbs over the bone that jutted out against her smooth skin.

“Goddamn,” was all she could muster, breathlessly staring up at him through a long fan of black lashes. Ignis took a deep breath, averting his eyes.  _Is he **embarrassed?**_ Quickly, she reached a hand up and laced her fingers through the soft hair on the back of his head, pressing her forehead to his. “I’m not complaining.”

“I didn’t mean for you to hurt yourself,” he admitted sheepishly.

“I’m just clumsy,” she huffed, laughing at the dull throb emitting from the back of her head. Impatient, she grabbed his hands and pulled them higher up onto her sides. He raised an eyebrow, though his lips were twisted into a crooked smile. “Unless you have needy neighbors, we  _should_ be interruption-free,” she hinted, afraid to tear her eyes away from his, studying the greens and golds that surrounded his widened pupils.

“Assuming Rayne doesn’t return,” he murmured. She puffed out a soft laugh.

“I’m sure she’ll be in the window with binoculars.”

“I’ll be certain to keep an eye out.”

As much as she loved the sound of his voice, she wanted so  _desperately_ for him to shut up. Unable to control the smile on her face, she silenced him once more. This time, instead of standing still in alarm, her body into its natural rhythm. Her fingers quickly undid the buttons of his shirt and her lips parted to pull them deeper. Her hands ran over his stomach ever so lightly before reaching lower than ever before. She grinned at his response, pulling away.

“Plan on keeping me right here all night?” she asked, her voice just above a whisper.

Ignis shot her a look, reaching to his left to hang the keys back up. Before she could make another comment, he kissed her again, addicted to the feeling of her lips, her skin, her warmth. Rue relished the attention for a moment longer before grabbing a hand off her waist and dragging him further into the house. Just as she’d done a thousand times before, she closed the bedroom door and shed her clothing—her shell. This time, however, something was different. She couldn’t quite place it, but she didn’t quite care at the moment, either. _I’ll figure it out in the morning_ , she reassured herself, prying Ignis’s belt off with deft fingers as his lips trailed down her slender neck.  _Tomorrow_. 

 


	52. Heavy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sweater Weather" by We Three

The piercing sound of alarm jumped Rue's slow heart back to life; she groaned, reaching to her right blindly to shut it off. She was met with nothing but empty air, and yet, the sound stopped moments after it began. Frowning, she cracked her eyes open, but she was met with nothing but total darkness. With a sigh, she rubbed her face and reached out for Honey, sensing her warmth nearby. Her heart nearly choked her when she gasped and scrambled away from the body next to her. For a moment, she couldn’t remember what the  _heck_ she was doing here or who that was. But then it all came back in a rush of memories and she relaxed, closing her eyes.

“Forget where you were?” Ignis asked in a low voice. She turned to look at him, though she couldn’t see his face in the darkness.

“Yeah,” she huffed, sinking back down under the heavy blankets and staring up at the ceiling.

Ignis nodded. Normally, he would stand as soon as the alarm chimed, but something forced him to lay there in the silence and relish in her heat.  _I have plenty of time,_ he told himself. After a long minute of quiet, Rue rolled over, squinting in an attempt to make out his features.

“What time is it?”

“Five.”

“Shit,” she muttered, frowning.  _I’m so **tired.**_  “It’s  _dark_ in here.”

“The sun rises on the other side of the house,” he replied, shifting. She could tell that he’d turned over, that he was facing her. She hated that she couldn’t see. “And I have good curtains.”

“Good curtains are a must with creeping Raynes about,” she huffed. A smile traced her lips and she knew she never wanted to leave this moment—the warmth, the soft voices, the genuine satisfaction. “Dammit, I left my contacts in again, didn’t I?”

“I didn’t see you remove them.”

“I’m lucky I haven’t destroyed my eyeballs.”

“That you are.”  _But it has to end._

“Trust me, Ignis, I  _don’t_ want you to move, but you don’t strike me as the sort of guy to lay around after his alarm’s gone off.”

“I’m not,” he admitted with a defeated sigh.

The bed shifted as he turned and reached to switch on the lamp on the table beside him. He squinted in the light, blinking to adjust before turning back to face her.  _He looks so fucking young without those damn glasses._ If it wasn’t for the scars that gnarled his skin and the freckles that dotted patches of his face, she might’ve assumed he was the same age as Eren. At least, if he kept his mouth shut. Laughing to herself softly, she reached out and pressed his head to hers. Her free hand curled against his chest and her legs prickled with goosebumps when they brushed his.

“I didn’t know you had it in you,” she teased. Ignis raised an eyebrow. “Good job, pal.”

“Don’t patronize me,” he huffed, though his eyes were alight with amusement.

“Convenient that Rayne canceled on me, hm?” She looked over his face slowly as she thought aloud, eyes narrowed. The tiny skull that always hung around his neck was still there, standing out against the color of his skin. “I do have to wonder, though: would  _the_ Ignis Scientia have made a move if she hadn’t?”

“I may have been less inclined to do so,” he admitted. She shuddered when his fingers found her hip, gently tracing.

“Why do you wake up three hours before you have to be at work?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. He raised his back.

“I take the mornings slowly.”

“I guess so,” she laughed.

Ignis sighed, pulling away from her to pull the blankets off and stand. The muscles in his back tensed as he stretched. Rue watched as he crossed the floor to the bathroom, pausing at the door. He frowned at the ground before looking up at her.

“Do you plan to shower?”

“I probably should,” she sighed, yawning. She was  _not_ ready to be awake. He nodded.

“I’ll be sure to save some hot water, then.”

“Thanks,” she huffed, waiting until he closed the door to reach toward her phone. “Nothing.”

Disappointed, she set it onto the table to her right and pulled the blankets back up. She let out a contented sigh and turned away from the light, falling into a sleep that just barely broke the surface of unconsciousness. Finally, she heard the bathroom door open; the light that washed over her face woke her fully. She refused to turn over until she heard a jingle, looking up to see that Ignis was already dressed.  _Guess I have to get up now._ Defeated, she sat up, ruffling her dark hair. Ignis raised an eyebrow when he returned to retrieve his glasses.

“I can bring you home before I head to the Citadel, if you like.” She was tempted to decline the offer and go back to sleep until the sun had at least risen, but she knew better. Nodding, she got to her feet.

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

“There are towels beneath the sink,” he called after her, watching her head into the bathroom. Something like trope-ish butterflies stirred in his stomach when she turned and flashed a grin, standing bare in her cheap, colorful underwear as she blew him a kiss and disappeared.  _You’re hopeless,_ he scolded himself, shaking his head and leaving the bedroom.  _Absolutely hopeless._

Rue scrubbed at her hair, feeling strange about using his soap but using it anyway. She could’ve waited to wash until she got home, but she felt gross. There was no way she could stand the feeling for too long. When she stepped out of the shower, she wiped the steam off the mirror and brushed her teeth with a finger.  _That’ll do._ She stepped into the room to find it empty. Shrugging off his absence, she pulled on her clothes from the day before and dried her hair before heading out to the kitchen.

“There’s coffee in the pot,” Ignis said without looking up from his phone. There was an empty plate before him on the table beside a full mug. Rue smiled, unable to help herself, and pressed a kiss to his cheek when she passed by.

“Thanks.”

Quickly, Rue made herself a cup of coffee and joined him at the table, still half asleep. She watched Ignis scroll through his phone curiously.

“What’re you looking at?” she asked, taking a cautious sip.

“Unopened emails and the news,” he answered dryly, glancing up at her.

“Anything interesting?”

“Nothing at all.” Rue hummed a little laugh to herself.

“Well, that’s how you know the world’s gonna have a good day.”

“No news is good news.”

“Exactly.”

Ignis touched his glasses and watched her blow on her coffee. Her cheeks were flushed red and her hair was tangled from being dried too roughly. She was a  _mess,_ and yet she was downright _beautiful_. He shook his head and returned to his news—the only normality currently in his life, if he was willing to admit that.

“Any fun plans for the day?”

“Paperwork and meetings,” he sighed.

“The usual, then.”

“Most certainly.”

“Damn, Iggy. We lead such boring lives,” she teased. He raised an eyebrow.

“Yours is hardly uneventful,” he reminded her. “I’m handling changes of my own for the time being.”

“Like what?”

“My return to advising, for one,” he said, setting his phone aside and focusing on his coffee. He hesitated. “This, to list another.” Rue pursed her lips and nodded, combing her fingers through her hair.

“Yeah, waking up at five is a big change for me, too, buddy.”

“Hn.” Ignis acknowledged her joke with the slightest of laughs, earning a grin.

“You’re a natural,” she continued. “Up ‘n at em before six. Early bird catches the worm and all that shit.”

“And might I ask what the worm is this morning?”

“Uh, my presence. Duh.” She rolled her eyes, laughing when he didn’t react to her teasing. “Oh, come on. It’s too early for  _me,_ remember? You’re supposed to be the awake one at this time.”

“Yes, well,  _something_  distracted me from getting to bed on time,” he muttered into his cup. Rue snickered, cocking her head to the side wryly.

“I guess the rumors are true, then. I really  _did_ fuck Ignis Scientia.”

“Mind your language at the table, please,” he replied coolly, though he was struggling to hide a smile of his own.

“Yeah, yeah,” she mumbled, but she was clearly thoroughly pleased with herself for cracking the joke. “Sorry, I  _screwed_  Ignis Scientia.” Ignis grunted.

“Better.”

The morning passed by slowly as she sat there, half-asleep, waiting for Ignis to take her home. As much as she enjoyed sitting there and talking with a mug of hot coffee warming her hands, she enjoyed sleep more—much more. She’d like it  _much, much_ more if he stayed, too, but she knew he couldn’t, and it was selfish of her to even desire such a thing. Finally, he stood and laced up his shoes. Rue stood by the door, hugging her arms to her body and yawning.  _Too damn early._

“Are you ready?” Ignis asked, pulling his car keys off the hook by the door. She nodded, following him outside and getting into his cold car with a shudder. Quickly, he turned on the seat warmers and pulled out of the driveway, clearly not as exhausted as she was.

“Thanks for taking me home,” she said, her lips twisting into a wry smile. “In both senses of the expression, I guess.” Ignis mustered up a half-smile and scooted back into his seat, trying to get past Insomnia’s morning traffic.

“Of course. I couldn’t have you walking all the way home.”

“It’s only, like, thirty minutes,” she shrugged.

“Why take that when you have an easier route?”

“Damn, Iggy, never thought I’d hear you advocate for shortcuts,” she teased, crossing her arms tighter as she wrestled with the desire to grab hold of his hand and let it heat her frozen bones.

“Unless you planned on needing the exercise, I don’t see a shortcut,” he replied curtly, slamming on his breaks when someone pulled out in front of him. He closed his eyes, huffing a short, irritated breath, and continued forward.

“Gotta stifle the road rage?”

“Perhaps if Noct was here, yes,” he muttered. “Though, he’s the one who’d be angry. I just prefer to be alive.”

“Have you ever been in an accident?”

“Once, and it was far from my fault.”

“Was Noctis there?”

“Thankfully, no. I was with Gladio at the time and it was late. A drunk driver crashed into the side of the car.” He shook his head, smiling fondly at the memory. “She came out to accuse me of cutting her off and then she saw him and decided to keep her mouth shut. I suppose even the intoxicated sober up at the sight of him.”

“Unless they’re Rayne,” Rue scoffed. Ignis hummed in agreement. “That girl’s a hot mess.”

“I suppose as long as she performs her duties well, she’s not harming anyone but herself,” he sighed. “I can’t imagine what her liver’s suffering through.”

“She wasn’t always like this?”

“Not until after the Dawn, no.” His eyes narrowed on the road and he tilted his head just the slightest bit. “My best guess is that her suffering finally caught up with her.”

“That’s shitty,” she mumbled, staring out the window.  _I guess even the strongest people have their issues and outlets._ “How does Gladio feel about it?”

“It certainly puts him on edge,” Ignis admitted, pulling onto her street. “Obviously, she has to be in perfect condition to protect Noctis at all times—even one night of drunkenness could cost him his life. There’s a chance that by now she assumes he’s invincible.”

“Certainly seems that way.”

“Yes, well, it’s foolish and irresponsible.”

“Trying telling her that.”

“You think I haven’t?” The car shuddered to a stop in her driveway, dying down. Ignis touched his glasses and turned his head to look at her. “Unless something happens to break her from the habit, she’ll refuse to listen to anyone but herself.”

“Stubborn little bitch, that one.”

“Yes, well, we can’t all be perfect.” His words broke the somber tone and she smiled, shaking her head.

“I’ll join her on the messy side, then. Put myself in my place before someone else has to.”

“You take care of yourself well enough,” he pointed out, watching as she twisted her hips around to face him, elbow pressed against the top of the leather seat. She shrugged.

“I try. It gets exhausting, though. Looking after myself is like babysitting a toddler.” Ignis raised an eyebrow, a wry smile crossing his face.

“Is this where I should offer to help you with such a problem? I’m sure you noticed I don’t excel when it comes to children.”

“Then you’re in for a real treat,” she snickered, finally giving in to her mind’s whining and closing the gap between them. His fingers gently pinched her chin as she pressed a kiss to his lips, tilting her face upward. Smiling, she lingered there far longer than she needed to, but he wasn’t complaining. She knew all too well that he would hate to be late for work more than he desired to stay there, in that moment, and so she drew away, smoothing a piece of his hair that stood crookedly to the side.

“Bye,” she murmured, opening her door and stepping out into the chilly morning air.

Still, she waited for him to be far out of sight, waving him off to work, before turning on her heels and heading toward her door, staring down at the ground tiredly.  _Damn_ _, I hate myself. What am I, clingy?_ She felt like a lost puppy, wishing he would return and take her back into the happiness she’d embraced mere hours ago. 

With a sigh, she lifted her head and reached toward her pocket for her keys. Her body stopped completely, frozen in shock. Relir arched an eyebrow, arms crossed.

“Am I supposed to pretend I didn’t see that?”

“I, uh, Relir, I—” Rue stammered, fumbling for words.  _Why is she here so **early?**_ She couldn’t find any, afraid to look at Relir’s stern face. Finally, she pieced together  _something._ “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“That’s the point, dumbass.” Relir rested her hands on her hips, her expression softening. “I wanted to apologize to you, in person. I went too far the other night, I know that.”

“I’m sorry too,” Rue frowned, still terrified to speak about what Relir witnessed. As if reading her thoughts, Relir’s eyebrow raised and she cocked her head toward the driveway.

“So… Care to explain?”

“Explain what?” Rue asked weakly, trying to stall. Quickly, she stepped around Relir and unlocked her door, hurrying inside. Persistent, her friend followed.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe why you aren’t home and then suddenly your  _boss_ drops you off, and not only does he drop you off…” Relir cut Rue off on her way to her bedroom, blocking the hallway with her long arms. “But you two start fucking  _making out_ like you’ve been at this forever.”

“First of all, he’s not my boss,” Rue corrected defensively. “Not anymore. And secondly, we weren’t  _making out._ ”

“Yeah, yeah,” Relir huffed, kicking Rue away when she tried to slip under her arms. “Seriously, what’s going on between you two? And better yet, why the helldidn’t you tell me?”

“ _Seriously,_ I don’t know and that’s why I didn’t say anything,” Rue retorted, finally snapping. “If I talked about it, that meant it was real and then I’d have to accept that it would  _end,_ okay?!”

“You really are something else,” Relir laughed, moving aside so Rue could get to her bedroom. “You didn’t tell me you were fucking your boss because you were afraid that meant you guys were in an actual relationship and you don’t want to deal with that? Where’s the  _logic_ in that, Rue?”

“You just got  _so_ much wrong,” Rue scoffed, shedding her old clothes. She didn’t even care that Relir was standing smugly in the doorway, watching her change.

“Then enlighten me, Sweetheart.” She entered the room and flopped down onto Rue’s bed, laying on her stomach and petting Honey as she waited for a response. “I don’t have to go to the Citadel today and I’m guessing you don’t either since you’re getting pajamas on. Rayne called me on my way there.”  _There goes any chance of sleeping._

“Fine, just…” Rue huffed, hurrying to her bathroom and plucking her contacts out, replacing them with her glasses. She entered the bedroom and eyed Relir for a moment. Her friend stared back, waiting. With a defeated sigh, Rue gave in, knowing full well she had no way out of this, not now. Relir clapped, sitting up against the pillows when Rue came to sit beside her.

“Yes! Story time!”

“Shut up,” Rue huffed, running her hands through her hair and watching the black strands contrast her skin sharply. “We’ve been friends for a while,” she started, pulling her blankets up over her lap. “But I just assumed he thought of me like I thought of him—friends. And then the day we had to kill those kids… The day Eren…” She cleared her throat, shaking her head. “We got into a fight in his office because he told me I shouldn’t go out there. Said it was too dangerous. I got up in his face and he  _kissed_ me.” It felt strange to say it out loud. She tasted the words again. “Ignis kissed me.”

“Yeah, you said that.”

“I told him never to talk to me again and then I left.” She tucked her hair out of her face, embarrassed as she picked at her nails. “I told myself that I was mad because he was wrong to do that when I was Eren, but really, I think it’s because I didn’t want admit that I’d liked it.”

“Ooooo,” Relir teased, nudging her shoulder. Rue rolled her eyes, fighting a smile.

“After I came back to work, we started talking again and it felt kind of normal again. I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened. On my birthday, everyone came over to my place, but Ignis and I snuck out and he took me to a cliff where we could see the sun setting over the city. He brought a fucking  _picnic,_ Relir.”

“That’s cheesy as hell,” her friend laughed. Rue nodded, smiling.

“It was so nice being up there, but I knew he just felt bad and wanted to apologize for what he did. I felt bad because there was nothing to forgive him for.”

“And?”

“I kissed him.  _That’s_ when we made out,” she laughed, shoving Relir when she made loud smooching sounds. “ _Stop.”_

 _“_ I mean, that was, what, four days ago?”

“Yeah,” Rue sighed. “Feels like it’s been a lifetime, though.”

“It really does.”

“The next day, I invited him over to hang out.”

“But you were hoping for something  _else_.”

“… Maybe.” Rue wrestled a smile and felt her face go red. “We got cockblocked by the neighbor and her kids, though.”

“Wait, he actually wanted to…?”

“I don’t know!” Rue cried defensively. “It seemed like it.”

“Damn, I always thought he was the ‘save it for marriage type.’”

“Why, because he has a stick up his ass?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Well, he’s not. I’m sure you can guess why he drove me home this morning.” Relir grinned.

“I  _knew_ you had a nice glow about you when you came to the door!”

“I think you’re talking about pregnancy,” Rue laughed, ducking when Relir threw an arm around her shoulders.

“Nah, it was a different glow.”

“ _Okay._ _”_

“Was it fun?”

“Excuse me?” Rue scoffed. “That’s none of your business.”

“But I have so many questions!” Relir groaned, throwing her head back, disappointed. “Like how big’s his dick? And is he any good? And how many times did you—”

“Gods, enough,” Rue sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m not answering any of that.”

“Fine, fine. Just answer this, then: would you smash again?”

“Uh, yeah?” Rue laughed, ashamed of her reddened cheeks.

“Then I’ll call it a success!” Relir got to her feet, stretching her arms over her head. “Now quit blushing like a little girl and let’s  _do_  something.”

The two women eventually wound up laying around on the couch with bags of junk food, binging a show they’d always wanted to watch but never had. There was too much nudity for Rue’s taste, even for a woman who had seen her fair share of boobs. She preferred not to  _basically_ watch pornography with her friend on her day off. Relir, however, ate it up, mocking the romanticized version of romance that television tended to portray. Eventually, as the sun began to sink, Relir got to her feet.

“I gotta go. Dex is probably wondering where the hell I am by now.”

“Honestly, he probably didn’t even notice you left,” Rue teased, accepting Relir’s tight hug.

“Don’t let that uptight bastard treat you like shit, you hear me?”

“Relir, he’s not like that.”

“Well, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Only Dex.”

“No, Relir—”

“Who’s he gonna tell, Rue? He only talks to us. Besides, he’s your friend, too.”

“… Fine.”

“See you around, sweet cheeks,” Relir teased, hurrying out the door.

Rue sighed, sinking back into the couch cushions she hadn’t moved from all day, and changed to another channel. She was getting bored of TV shows and movies and she wasn’t tired at  _all_ anymore. Cooing at her cat, she stroked Honey’s smooth fur and tried to busy herself by playing games on her phone. Nothing. She even tried texting Prompto. Nothing. The only thing she could focus on was Ignis, it seemed. Her mind continued to recall images she would never forget. 

The sweat glistening on his skin, the muscles rippling tightly with every motion, the tenderness in his eyes when they met hers and lingered for a moment before one of them couldn’t take it any longer, the ache in their chest forcing them to look elsewhere. The ginger brush of his fingers across her cheekbone when he tucked her hair away from her face. The heat of his back pressed to hers deep in the night.  _Goddamn, I’m hopeless._  But the insults she threw at herself didn’t stop her from texting him, wanting desperately to feel it all again.

_What’re you up to?_

She shut off her screen and pressed it to her chest, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back onto the couch cushions. Minutes passed and so did the worry as she drifted off, floating along the surface of sleep. She jumped awake when her phone vibrated, not sure how much time had passed.

_Wrapping up a council meeting that lasted three hours._

She cringed, feeling her head ache at the mere prospect.

_That’s shitty. Why did it go so long?_

_Disagreements amongst separate parties, as per usual._

_Noctis couldn’t shut them up?_

_He’s not permitted to silence their opinions if they’re spoken in peace._

_Damn. If I was king, I’d change that rule._

Honey purred, begging for attention and rubbing her cheek on Rue’s. Her owner smiled and held her close, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

_It’s not that simple._

_I wish it was._

_Most do._

“He’s really not giving me much to go off of,” she murmured to the cat. After conversion stilled for a bit, he texted her again.

_Why do you ask?_

She grinned, laughing to herself.

_Because I’m bored and I have nothing else to do._

_It’s reassuring to know you correlate me with boredom._

_Whatever, dude. Did you expect me to say that I miss you because I’m lonely as hell after watching cheesy rom-coms all day?_

She held her breath, lips pursed as she waited for a response. It took him a little longer than usual; she wondered if someone had stopped him to speak about the meeting or if he was hesitating. When he finally replied, she knew it was the latter.

_Do you?_

_Shit, got me there._

Another long pause. She sighed, grinding her teeth together anxiously. Was she pushing him too hard? Was she not pushing hard enough? How far did she have to go to get him to drive all the way out to her house just so that she could relieve the emptiness in her chest? Her heart pounded when he answered.

_I might have a solution._

Unsure if he caught her drift or not, she decided to be blunt rather than beating around the bush. Well, she still wasn’t stating anything  _clearly,_ but she certainly didn’t think he’d be confused—she didn’t even know if he was confused  _now._

_How far away is the Citadel?_

_Fifteen minutes or so, depending on traffic._

_Cool. I’ll set a timer for twenty. Better be here on time._

Satisfied, she set her phone aside and went back to watching the actors on her screen with Honey clutched to her chest. Her heart was beating a little faster than usual as she waited in anticipation. A part of her was cynical, mocking her for her giddiness and her love-struck attitude. The other part was just as anxious as she was. Her heart stopped when she heard a car pull into the driveway. She shut off the TV and scrambled toward the door, looking around the house to make sure nothing gross was just laying around. Her breath caught when there was a knock on the door, and she laughed at her stupidity.  _Calm down, dumbass._ Slowly, she pulled it open, arching an eyebrow at Ignis, who eyed her wrinkled pajamas.

“You never struck me as the type of man to answer a booty call,” she teased, smiling wryly. Ignis looked worn down from his long day, the color of his eyes standing out starkly against the dark circles beneath them. Despite this, he forgot his exhaustion and touched his glasses.

“I wish I could say I never took you for a woman who would  _make_ one, but…” His voice trailed off and Rue scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“You still came.”

“I did.”

Grinning, she reached inside to shut off the porch light and stood on her toes to kiss him, combing her fingers through his hair freely now that he didn’t have to look pristine for Noctis’s sake. She broke away quickly, glancing toward her neighbor’s house warily before taking his hand and pulling him inside. The door slammed shut behind him, hiding them from prying eyes. At the end of her neighbor’s driveway stood Julie, who let her garbage can’s lid close with a loud thud and rolled her eyes.

“Damn young love,” she muttered, heading back toward her house, where Harper and Silvia waited, watching her from the foggy window. “It never works.”

 


	53. Finding Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Stuck Like This" by We Three

Rue smoothed her hair in the mirror before turning on her heels and hurrying out the front door, determined to make it to the Citadel on time. She thought as she went, hands jammed in her pockets and jaw working a piece of gum. Her alarm hadn't gone off because she'd forgotten to set one. Well, she vaguely remembered to when Ignis pried himself away from her as she mumbled something, still practically dreaming. She could feel where he'd kissed her forehead; she could hear his low voice muttering that he needed to go home unless she wanted another early start. And then, like a fool, she'd set an alarm for the evening. The last time she did that, she was drunk enough to see bursting stars when she blinked.

She was out of breath when she reached the locker room, quickly shedding her jacket and shoving it away before rushing back to the gym, where the Glaive was gathered. Rayne eyed her the entire time she rushed to her spot in the line, eyebrow arched. The look on Rue's face told her that she'd explain later and that was enough. Rayne turned back to the glaives, arms crossed. Instead of her usual t-shirt and leggings getup, she wore a tight, long-sleeved shirt that was built to last a battle. Rue sighed, squeezing her eyes shut.  _Gods, it's a one-on-one day, isn't it?_

"Everyone doing okay?" There was a harmony of mixed responses, but the consensus was that, yes, generally everyone was doing okay. "Good. I hope you're feeling patient because today's just gonna be one of those days where I take you on one by one and telling you all the shit you're doing wrong." Her face twisted into a bitter smile. "It's gonna be a great day."

"Isn't Signum coming today?" someone asked. To no one's surprise, it was Axel, who was rocking nervously from foot to foot.  _Poor guy._

"He's supposed to be, but he won't answer his damn phone," Rayne shrugged, clearly angry. "Just know that I'll be channeling that into today's assessment."

"Great," Relir huffed, squaring her shoulders.

Rue shook her head, already feeling as though she was hopeless. She was good at sucking up her pain when it came to emotions, but physical pain was always what seemed to relentlessly weigh on her mind, regardless of its origin. Sure, she was bruised from Gladio's constant victories, but it wasn't his fault that it hurt to turn her hips this way or that, or that muscles she never even knew she had stung.  _I'm gonna wring that man's neck,_  she thought bitterly, though it was half-hearted. She couldn't justify the anger. Relir, as always, seemed to know what Rue was thinking and she leaned over, her face smug and her voice quiet.

"Hope lover boy didn't do too much damage."

"Shut up."

Relir snickered and turned back to Rayne, who was eyeing them yet again. Pursing her lips, Rue stared hard at the way beyond Rayne's head, willing the woman to let her be. Rayne stared a moment longer before summoning her gunblade with a flick of her wrist and jerking her head toward the front of the line.

"Grayson, you're first."

"Sweet."

"The rest of you, go wait out there."

"No time outside?" Axel asked.

"It took too long to find people last time," Grayson shrugged, stepping toward Rayne with two swords in his hands.

"Shit," Relir hissed, turning on her heels and heading outside the gym. "She's really pissed at her brother."

"Wouldn't you be?" Rue asked absently, falling against the wall outside and sinking to the floor.  _Ouch._ Relir shook her head and sat beside her, looking around to make sure no one was paying any attention to them.

" _So,_ any news about the guy?"

"…" Rue took a deep breath, hating that her friend was so damn nosy. "He came over last night." Relir silently cheered, punching Rue's shoulder.

"I  _thought_  you were acting funny."

"What the—" Rue stared at her in bewilderment. "Was I?"

"I'm teasing," Relir laughed, relishing in Rue's embarrassment. "Who asked?"

"Me," Rue shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "But he took the bait, so I'll let my shame rest in peace."

"Hey, no shame here," Relir replied, holding her hands up. "He's a hot one, too. Got all those muscles and he's tall… He's too skinny for my taste, though. I like a bit more—"

"Relir, for fuck's sake, he's not a piece of meat," Rue huffed, frowning. Relir blinked at her.

"Wait, you really…" She laughed uncomfortably. "Oh, wow. I honestly didn't think you  _actually_  had any feelings for him."

"What?" Rue felt her face go red. "You thought I was just…?"

"Having fun? Yeah, I guess. I thought maybe he was a rebound?" Relir cringed, picking at a loose thread in her pants. "Are you… ready for that? Does he even know that's what you  _want?_ "

"He doesn't strike me as the type of person to mess around."

"And Eren didn't strike me as the type to hit women."

"Don't," Rue snapped, earning a few curious stares. "That's not fair."

"No, it's not." Relir let her head fall back and hit the wall. "Well, either way, I wish you the best. Let me know if he turns out to be a shithead."

"I will." Rue laughed despite herself. "You'll be the first person I call drunk, like always."

"Good to know I'm always on your mind," Relir grinned.

They waited for what felt like hours, watching people head inside the gym and then reappear to call the next person's name before they headed off to their station for the day. Eventually, Relir was called, leaving Rue in the hall with a handful of glaives who had yet to hear their names. That's when she realized Rayne was saving her for last. One by one, they left until she was alone, picking at her shoelaces and reliving the night before.

"Rue?"

Rue jumped, looking up to see Axel waiting there, sweating beading his forehead and a bloody streak stretched across his cheek. She swallowed hard and stood, suddenly afraid. He offered her a smile, but it was merely a formality. Clearly, he had Signum on his mind, worried for the young man. He muttered something about luck under his breath when she passed him; she shuddered and headed inside. Instead of being greeted by a sour glare and the edge of a blade, however, she saw Rayne sitting on the floor, cross-legged with her shoulders hunched and her finger boredly tracing the grain of the wood.

"Rayne?"

"Hm?"

"Aren't we gonna…?"

"Nah. I know Gladio's working you hard, but you're not there yet." Rayne looked over her shoulder, not even bothering to force a smile. "Come sit."

"Okay."

Obedient, Rue sat beside her, gnawing on her cheek nervously.  _What's she doing?_ She watched Rayne's finger train the floor for a long time, sitting in silence. Finally, Rayne sat up straight, staring at the wall ahead of them.

"I'm worried about him."

"Signum?"

"Yeah. He's all I have left." Her eyes narrowed when she frowned. "And he's  _always_ on his phone. It's unlike him to ignore messages when I'm bothering him this much."

"Maybe he fell asleep on the way over," Rue offered, watching Rayne's face contort into one of irritation.

"Either way, I'm beating his ass for it when he gets here."  _When. She still has hope, at least._ "Gladio's  _super_ on edge because Iris won't answer him, either. I guess that's why I'm so anxious. They can't  _both_ have decided not to pick up, right?"

"Maybe they died." Rayne's head whipped around so sharply that her ponytail slapped her across the face. Rue hurried to clarify. "The phones."

"Maybe. I guess that's more realistic than an anti-sibling pact." She sighed, resting her chin in her hand and resting her elbow on her knee. "But maybe not. I know both of them are pretty unhappy that Gladio and I are getting married."

"Seriously?"

"Signum and Gladio  _do not_ get along. My brother's somewhat of a coward—kind of the black sheep of my family that decided to go his own way instead of what he was told to do. And, I mean, you know how seriously Gladio takes his job." Rayne shook her head. "And Iris… She's still got some of her dad's fight left in her. Our fathers hated each other—some stupid argument over who was more important to the king's life. You know that scar over Gladio's eye?"

"Yeah?"

"I did that with a wooden sword when I was eighteen because we were pitted against each other to prove some point we still can't explain. He pissed me off because my dad told me he should, so I did my best to beat the shit out of him." She sighed, leaning back on her hands and studying Rue's face. "Iris still has a bit of that hesitation about whether or not mixing two  _opposing_ houses is a good idea." She shrugged, smiling sadly. "Also, she's not my biggest fan since I 'took Gladdy away.' Her words, not mine."

"Gladdy?" Rue repeated under her breath. She shook her head, tucking her hair behind her ear. "That's tough. I know a thing or two about family conflict."

"Yeah?" Rayne smiled, cocking her head to the side.

"Yeah." Rue picked at her shoes. "My ex-husband, Casper? My dad told me that if I married him, he'd never speak to me again. And he didn't. He didn't show up at the wedding and he didn't offer any support when I had a miscarriage. He just… disappeared." She took a deep breath, trying to recall the details. "My Aunt Kath loved me more than he did, but when she learned that I was pregnant before the wedding and that our 'family business' was drugs, she dropped out of the picture, too."

"Two whole different worlds," Rayne murmured. Rue nodded. "It's weird to think about."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"Rayne!" The door to the gym flew open and Prompto stood at the entrance, wheezing to catch his breath. "Sig's here!"

"What?!" Rayne leaped to her feet, dragging Rue up and hurrying to follow him. "Where?"

"The throne room. Everyone's coming in a sec."

"Come with," Rayne demanded, jerking her head toward Rue. Left with little choice, she followed, her legs working hard to keep up. Prompto was hardly much taller than her, but his legs were long enough to force her to skip a few paces every now and then, her lungs screaming for air.

They pushed into the room, ignoring the babbling guard at the door that somehow still had her job. Rayne's eyes immediately locked on the tall young man that knelt before the king, a trembling hand pressed to his chest. Rue stared with horror as he turned to face them, his skin stained with dried blood and his clothes torn to rags. Before either of them could move, the door opened again and Gladio stormed in, followed immediately by Ignis.

"Where the hell is Iris?" Gladio demanded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! PLEASE READ THX
> 
> I'm currently a good 10 chapters ahead of you guys, but I have a VERY good question for you all as I'm trying to figure out an ending (this is the first time in 4 years that I have no ending ideas lol):
> 
> What are some things YOU wanna see happen?
> 
> My only real limit is no smut-- sorry not sorry :P
> 
> But really, what do you guys wanna see? Any cute scene ideas? It's been years since I last wrote a primarily romance fic lol someone help me I need help thanks
> 
> XXX


	54. Acceptance, Reassurance, Rinse and Repeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Let Me Go" by NF
> 
> This chapter's title is essentially an "old days" Fall Out Boy song title lol

Petrified, Rue stood frozen in place by the boom of Gladio's growling voice. Signum stumbled down the stairs to approach the crowd, glancing at Rayne. His sister sprung to life, rushing forward and throwing her arms around him, squeezing him tightly with her eyes screwed shut. Ignis frowned, taking in the boy’s appearance as he came to fill the space between Rue and Gladio.  _Thank the **gods** I’m not next to Big-Scary anymore._ But Big-Scary hadn’t received an answer yet, and frankly, it was pissing him off. Noctis stood from his seat, staring at the door as if he expected the younger Amicitia to walk through any moment. 

“Where is she?!” Gladio shouted again.

“Gladio,” Ignis warned, his tone sharp but his voice gentle. “Give him a moment.”

“He’s had a lot of fuckin' moments,” the shield bit back. Ignis took a deep breath, touching his glasses to reset his flaring ire. “Where is she?”

“Are you okay?” Rayne asked, forcing her brother to look her in the eye. He nodded hesitantly, afraid to look at Gladio—and for good reason. Quickly losing his well-trained patience, Gladio charged forward and forced them apart. Rayne cried out in protest, but he ignored her, towering over Signum.

“What happened?” he snarled, his regularly calm amber eyes flashing all sorts of bright, angry shades. Signum stammered for a moment, trying to find words.

“We were attacked,” he said finally. “A group of people came and tried to kill us in Cape Caem.” He backed away from Gladio, eyes wide as he looked around at all our faces. “Iris and I held them off as long as we could, but there were too many. We had to run. We set off down the road and traveled all night, but they had people stationed along the roads that ambushed us.” His voice wavered and for a long time, he stared at Rue, trying to remember who she was. “I couldn’t see anything because they started setting off bombs when we headed into the woods. We were split up.” He shuddered. “They chased after her.” Gladio looked ready to tear him limb from limb. 

“Where is she?”

“I went back the next morning to find her,” Signum explained, continuing to create a gap between himself and the enormous, hulking man. “I traced the footsteps and everything. I found her in the woods, but she didn’t have a pulse. I did everything I could, but—” His voice cut off when it cracked, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry. I tried so fucking hard, I swear I did. I left to find a healer, and when I came back, I couldn’t find her. The animals must’ve…”

Gladio was still and silent, which was arguably even more terrifying than all his shouting and shoving. Beside him, Rayne blinked at her brother, dumbfounded.  _Iris Amicitia… dead?_ The entire room took on a chilling silence. Rue’s heart found it hard to beat inside her tight chest. She wanted to run, but she was afraid of what might happen if she dared to move a muscle. She’d never had much reason to be scared of Gladio before, but this… this wasn’t the Gladio she knew at  _all._

“You didn’t try hard enough,” Gladio finally said, his voice low and gritted. “If you hadn’t  _run,_ she would be here right now.”

“You don’t know that,” Signum stuttered, taking another step back.

“I don’t?” Gladio growled, fists clenched at his sides. “Sounds to me like you got scared and hid while she took the fall for  _your_ shit.” Ignis’s fingers flexed. Rue wondered what was running through his mind. He could read that man better than Rayne could; he knew what Gladio’s next move was before  _Gladio_ did. Signum’s face hardened and Rayne squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for the storm to come. Stunned, Rue watched the scene play out in disbelief.

“Yeah, well, maybe if you weren’t so busy  _fucking_  my sister, you would’ve picked up the phone when we called for help.  _Then_ she would be here, Gladio.”

For a man of his size, Gladio was  _fast._ With all of his training and his long, strong legs, Signum should have been faster, but he underestimated his enemy. They were on the floor before Rue could blink; Sig’s head hit the tile with a sickening  _crack,_ but Gladio either didn’t hear or didn’t care. If it was the latter, he likely committed the sound to memory. His giant hands clutched Signum’s shirt, jerking the boy upward into his face as he screamed, having lost all control in his grief.

“ _You fucking killed her!”_

“Gladio!”

Rayne and Ignis were there in an instant, trying to pry him off before he could do something even  _more_ reckless like beat the kid to death. Signum stared straight up, dazed from the blow to his head. He didn’t even hear the commotion. Rue looked up to Noctis, panicked, but he stared ahead at the throne room doors with empty eyes, still waiting. Still denying. Helpless, she turned to Prompto, who watched the scene with wide eyes. Gladio threw back an elbow without thinking, hitting Ignis square in the throat.

The advisor choked, wheezing and staggering for a mere moment before hurrying to help Rayne again. Finally, Gladio let Signum go, stumbling backward. To Rue’s surprise, though it should have been expected at this point, a well of tears pooled in his eyes, reflecting the hatred that shone from them as he stared at the gasping boy on the floor. Rue’s heart broke for him when Rayne rushed to her brother’s side instead of his, pulling his head into her lap.

“He killed her,” Gladio snarled, his breaths trembling with his body. His entire  _being_ wanted nothing more than to finish Signum off. He was already halfway there. Ignis stood at his side, the scarlet mark on his neck  _angry,_ ready to drag him back if Noctis so wished.

“That doesn’t mean you get to kill  _him_ ,” Rayne argued, pushing Sig’s shaggy hair out of his eyes.

“You’re still defending him?!” Gladio bellowed, laughing in disbelief. “And what if it was the other way around?!”

“I wouldn’t  _throttle_ Iris!” Rayne shouted, hurt. “I get it, Gladio! I’ve lost people, too, and I’m so fucking sorry this happened, but you can’t—”

“ _You don’t get shit.”_ Gladio’s hatred was aimed at both of them now.  _He’s not Gladio,_ Rue reminded herself, though she was shaking like a leaf and aching to help—she didn’t know how. She wanted to ease their suffering, to spare Signum and save Iris and heal Ignis’s darkening bruise, but she couldn’t. “You lost  _Arma.”_

“Oh, and he doesn’t count?” Rayne demand. A hot tear trickled down her face and she hated herself for it.

“She’s all I had.”

“ _He’s_  all  _I_  have,” she retorted. “But I wouldn’t  _kill_ her if it was the other way around. This is  _disgusting!”_

“No, no,” Signum croaked, forcing himself to sit up. His sharp blue eyes pierced Gladio’s. “If I’m really as  _villainous_ as he says, let him kill me.” He threw his arms out to the side, laughing. “Look at me,  _Gladiolus_! I have the  _audacity_ to  _smile_ when Iris is dead  _and_ it’s my fault!” His smile twisted into a snarl. “So, come and get me, you sick fuck _.”_

“Signum!” Rayne snapped. Gladio looked tempted by the offer, his jaw working as the reasonable side of him tried to wrestle free.

“Rayne, get out of the way,” he said finally.

“No.” Rayne stood, holding up her hands. “Get the hell out of here, Gladio. I’m done with the soap opera. You’re not killing my brother.”

“Move.”

“Or what? You’ll kill me, too?”

“If I’ve gotta.”

“... You don’t mean that.”

The fire behind his eyes told Rue he did, in fact, mean that. They stood staring each other down for a long, _long_ moment of tension. Rue foolishly began to believe one of them would back down. Signum glowered up at Gladio, dragging himself to his feet. He couldn’t help himself, cocking his head to the side.

“Can’t wait to watch you bleed, just like  _her_.”

That set Gladio off. Ignis, despite his efforts, was no match, thrown aside as if he weighed nothing. And then everything was still. Rue realized with a sudden burst of panic that she was the reason, staring down the end of the gun she aimed right at the space between Gladio's eyes. No one dared to breathe for a moment as she regained her strength, planting her feet where she stood in front of Rayne, guarding her against the pain she knew all too well. When she spoke, her voice was surprisingly steady.

“Go.”

“Rue, this isn’t—”

“Gladio, you lost your sister. It hurts, I know.” Nothing in her voice gave away her empathy or her fear. Her eyes were as cold as ice and her aim was steady. She wasn’t going to let his moment of kindled anger ruin anyone’s life. “But it’s not worth losing Rayne and her brother, too.”

“I wasn’t gonna—”

“If you think she’ll still marry you after you beat the  _shit_ out of her family, you’re stupider than I thought,” she spit. Even Noctis broke from his stupor, watching in helpless silence. “You’re lucky if you make it out of this with her still by your side.” Gladio scowled. “You’re hurt. Fine. But threatening Rayne and Signum and  _sucker-punching_ Ignis  _probably_ _won’t_  help you out in the long run.” She motioned toward the door with the gun. “So go.”

Gladio’s jaw worked for a moment longer, his eyes still burning, but she knew he wouldn’t make another move toward them, not when she’d forced reason down his throat and the threat of death in his face. Finally, he turned sharply and stormed out of the room, throwing the door open so quickly that the guard cried out in surprise on the other side. Rue felt her breaths begin to shake with her hands once the threat was gone, her eyes unable to tear away from the weapon in her hands.  _What the hell did I…?_ Her heart raced, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. Dizzy, she stood frozen in place until Ignis stepped forward and carefully pried the firearm from her hands, letting it dissipate.

“What did I…” Her words stopped short and she gasped for air, shaking so badly that it almost looked like she was waving hello to the others in the room. Ignis shook his head.

“You diffused the situation. Well done.”

She didn’t even hear the words, deafened by the pounding in her ears and her constricted chest. She knew they were all watching her, but she couldn’t gain control of herself, not anymore. She’d slipped. She’d slid all the way back into that dark place she dragged herself from all those years ago. She needed to find anything, any _where_ safe, but her feet were rooted in place. So, she fell into the only safe place she could, clutching the back of Ignis’s shirt and hiding her face in his chest as she burst into tears, realizing that she wasn’t terrified of Gladio, but of herself.

Taken aback, Ignis hesitated for a moment before resting his hands on her back. The warm pressure was comforting, drawing just the slightest edge of herself back from her terror, but it was hardly enough. She could hear people talking, footsteps, doors creaking. She didn’t open her eyes, though, not for a moment. She couldn’t face reality. She was afraid that if she tried to see, she would find Casper and Gray on the ground before her, pierced with a thousand holes from her panicked rage, and she would discover that she was clutching Ana to her chest, not Ignis.

Instead, she hid in the darkness, in the warmth where it didn’t smell like blood and her hands weren’t sticky and she didn’t have to protect anyone. Her lungs shuddered as she tried to catch her breath. She felt Ignis’s chin rest on her shoulder and his arms pull her closer. The others must not have been watching anymore. That, or he was trying to shut her up, break her from her hysteria as quickly as possible. But she didn’t want to get better because that meant she had to let go... Of everything. She choked on another sob and shook her head.  _What’s **wrong** with me?_

Rayne watched from the floor as Rue collapsed against Ignis. She’d turned so still and pale that, for a moment, she thought the girl had passed out. Ignis looked at her helplessly as Rue burst into tears, choosing him to be the one to bear the burden with her, likely because of his proximity. Rue didn’t look like she could walk if she  _wanted_ to, shaking and mumbling nonsense about Ana and Casper and some guy named Gray. Signum leaned against a wall, eyes closed as he wound down from his tantrum. Rayne gritted her teeth and stared at the door. She knew she had to follow him, but she didn’t  _want_ to.

“I’ll be back,” she muttered.

“Be careful,” Prompto squeaked. She shot him a look that shut him up.

“He’s not an animal, Prompto.”

Her stride was long and fast. The fear in guards’ eyes and the irritation in the glaives’ told her which direction he’d headed in. A hunter at heart, she prided herself in being able to follow the signs instead of inquiring for them. She wasn’t sure she had it in her to ask nicely.  _His office. Predictable son of a bitch, isn’t he?_ She threw the door open unceremoniously, watching him pace the room with his arms crossed tightly and his brow furrowed like a caged beast. He didn’t so much as look at her when she shut the door and waited expectantly. He only spoke.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Hear what, Gladio?” she demanded, shrugging when he scowled up at her. “That you were so  _goddamn_ close to losing  _everything?_ Or that you stepped  _way_ out of line in there?”

“She’s all I had left,” he said for a second time, defensive. She stood firm, hands on her hips.

“And you wanted to take all that  _I_ had?”

“I wasn’t gonna kill him,” he grumbled, tearing his eyes away from hers.

“Oh, really? It sure as hell looked like that's exactly what you were doing,” she retorted. “He’s probably got a concussion now to top everything else off.”

“That’s his problem.”

Rayne’s anger grew into a rage and she grabbed his shirt, shoving him into the closest wall. She knew that she didn’t have to strength to do that on her own; he  _wanted_ her to throw him around.

“What the hell is  _wrong_ with you?!” she shouted. “I don’t know how to get through to you!”

“He was pushing me,” he pointed out. “He asked for it.”

“Gladiolus Amicitia, you are thirty  _fucking_ years old! I don’t want any ‘he started it’ bullshit from you!” She stared up at him in disbelief. “Rue was right! For fuck's sake, look at yourself, Gladio!”

“Rue should’ve moved her ass outta my way,” he growled. Rayne didn’t care anymore; she resisted the urge to use her fist and slapped him across the face with all the strength she could muster—which was a lot, considering the circumstances.

“ _Rue_ just stopped you from losing me, dammit! Open your  _eyes_.” She tugged at her hair, exasperated. Her hand stung and her heart hurt and her head was running wild. Her chest squeezed at her next words, but she knew they were true. “Gods, if I wasn’t so damn  _afraid,_ I would have you go pack your shit!”

“Afraid?” he repeated, frowning. His voice was calmer, though there was something beyond it that no longer resonated with anger. “Rayne, you know I wouldn’t—”

“I also  _knew_ you wouldn’t hurt my family,” she snapped, hugging her arms to her body. “And no, not afraid of  _you_.” Her gaze fell to the floor. “I’m just angry, Gladio, that’s all.”

“Then what are you afraid of?” he pressed, refusing to drop the subject. She glanced up at him, scoffing at her own silly thoughts.

“It’s just… I don’t want you to close everyone out like you did when I left you in the Darkness. I’m scared that if I don’t  _tiptoe,_ that’ll be the end of it because you’ll associate me with whatever resentment you’re feeling toward  _this._ ” To her surprise, he let out a weak chuckle.

“When’d you get a psychology degree?”

“I’m serious,” she insisted in a softer voice. She reached up to gingerly to touch the welt that was steadily growing on his cheek. Guilt twisted in her gut. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he sighed, watching her stare at the mark. “I needed to snap out of it.” His eyes dropped away from hers and he grunted. “I’m a dick.”

“I know.” A slight smile tugged at her lips—until she remembered why they were there to begin with. Gladio seemed to suddenly recall as well, unafraid to let the pain crease his brow when it was only her around. She pressed her lips together and pulled him into a hug, squeezing her eyes shut. “Gods, Gladio. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” His bulky arms were warm on her back, holding her against his broad chest. Her ears picked up the hoarse edge to his voice, one that she recognized all too well—not because she heard it often, but because when she  _did_ hear it, something was really,  _really_ wrong.

“Shit,” she hissed, swallowing the lump in her throat. “You can’t do this to me.” He didn’t say anything, holding her closer and burying his face in the crook of her neck. “Gladio, I’m serious. You can’t cry because then I’ll cry, and then we’ll be a fucking  _mess._ ”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” His chest shuddered with his breath and she fought as hard she could, watching her vision blur.

“Okay,” was all she could manage. Acceptance, reassurance, rinse and repeat—it was really all she could do. 


	55. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "NATIVE TONGUE" by Switchfoot

“Whoops. I’m so sorry, Ignis. Just hold still.”

“May I ask what the point of this prodding is, exactly?”

“No, you can shut up and let me help.” Rue cringed, glancing up at him. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

She nodded and gently felt along the side of his throat, feeling the burning pressure of Rayne’s puffy eyes boring into her the whole way. The woman hadn’t spoken a word since she entered the office, standing in silence as a mere shadow. Rue hadn’t seen Gladio around anywhere; she prayed he was okay.

“Nothing  _feels_ off. Does it hurt?”

“When you’re poking at it? Of course.”

“And when I’m not?”

“Yes.” Ignis sighed, impatient. Rayne watched them with sharp eyes, taking note of every lingering touch, glance, and movement.

“… I’m sorry.”

Ignis shook his head and took the potion from her hands, using it quickly before turning to Rayne. Rue felt sick to her stomach, leaning back against the desk and closing her eyes.  _Gods, he hates me, doesn’t he? I pointed a fucking **gun** at his friend, destroyed the love of his life’s relationship, and then cried all over him like a  **baby.**_

“How is Gladio?”

“He’s… Getting himself together,” Rayne sighed, crossing her arms. “It’s a little rough.”

“Because of what happened?” Rue asked quietly. Rayne chewed on her lip thoughtfully.

“Maybe a little. It’s more grief than regret.”

“Are you guys… okay?” she pressed. Rayne smiled, nodding.

“Yeah, we’re okay.”

Rue nodded and closed her eyes again, smelling nothing but the bloodbath she saw behind her eyelids. Her stomach clenched.

“Are  _you_ okay?”

“… I feel a little sick.”

“Well, don’t throw up on Iggy,” she teased lightly. “Seriously, you look a little green.”

“I think I’ll be alright,” she insisted. Rayne pushed her around the other side of the desk and forced her to sit in Ignis’s chair, shoving the small wastebasket into her arms. She smiled at Rue’s irritated expression.

“I don’t do well with vomit.”

“I told you I’m alright.”

“It’s just in case.” Rayne turned back to Ignis, resting a hand on his shoulder gingerly and watching the bruise fade. “Shit; I thought it was funny that it looked like someone hardcore choked you out.”

“I did not.”

“Don’t be cranky,” she admonished. “I’m going to go make sure Signum’s holding up okay. I think Noct wanted to talk to him.”

“Then he means to be alone,” Ignis pointed out. She made a point of not hearing him, closing the door behind her loudly.

Sighing, he turned back to Rue, who looked simply miserable. He wasn’t sure why he was irritated with her. Perhaps it was the persistent poking while she tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Clearly, something had happened in the throne room—something far more painful than Signum’s injuries. And yet, there she was, scowling down at the shredded papers in the garbage bin as if they were the bane of her existence. Someone who could afford the luxury of forgetfulness… perhaps that’s what made him angry.

“Are you alright?” he asked, leaning forward. It was strange being on the other side, watching her as if  _she_ was the boss. “Honestly.”

“I don’t know,” she huffed, setting the bin on the ground. “I really am sorry about earlier, Ignis. I didn’t mean for any of that to—”

“But it did.” His voice was sharp, but his eyes were gentle, understanding. She nodded, staring down at her lap.

“Sometimes Casper and I wouldn’t be able to pay our debts to his cousin, our dealer, so he would have us come collect with him as a payment.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “After a few years of seeing junkies run at the ones you love with knives and needles, you start to lose the ability to hesitate.  _Especially_ when it’s your daughter they’re coming after.” She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “I guess somewhere, subconsciously, my mind decided I need to protect Rayne.”

“You speak of it as though it’s a separate entity.”

“It feels like it is,” she muttered, picking at her fingernails. She felt numb, empty as she answered his prodding questions and comments. “Like I can’t control what I’m thinking or who I decide to trust.” She shrugged. “It’s like there’s this whole other  _me_ that I buried in the past, but it keeps trying to claw its way back out. I don’t want to be her anymore.”

“Who?”

“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy, Ignis,” she huffed. “The old me. I don’t want to be angry and afraid and violent. I was reckless with myself and everyone around me. I wouldn’t take that back for the world.”

“… What happened earlier, then? After Gladio left?”

“I…” She closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat. “The last time I stood there like that and said that sort of stuff… was after Casper beat the  _shit_ out of Ana. He was gonna do it again, and I couldn’t stop him unless he was scared.” Her breaths were shallow, trembling. “He listened at first, but his head was so cloudy… He got too close and I shot him. And then I stabbed him and I couldn't  _stop_ stabbing him. And I killed Gray. Ana hated me for that until the day she...” She jumped when she felt a hand on hers, looking up to see Ignis standing over her.

“You don’t have to explain.”

“Too late for that,” she replied, laughing through the tears. “I have to keep telling myself that we’re years past that. But I can’t stop  _seeing_ it, not after reacting that way to Gladio.” She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his, somehow comforted by his gaze. “I  _smelled_ blood, Ignis. I was so fucking afraid—I didn’t know where I was anymore.”

“The mind plays tricks,” he murmured, tracing his thumb over and over her thin fingers.

“I know, but I didn’t know they could feel so  _real_.”

“Yours has suffered plenty,” he reminded her, hooking a finger under her chin and pushing her to look up at him. “Perhaps it only needs a break.”

“How do you shut your mind off?” she scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know.”

“The only thing I can think of is  _death._ ”

“Well, I prefer  _not_ to use that option if need be.” She laughed softly and scrubbed at her tears.

“Maybe I’ll think of something,” she sighed, reaching up to smooth the wrinkles in his shirt. She glanced up to see him watching her, still hovering with a finger on her chin and his analyzing eyes flitting about her face. “Maybe I already have.”

Ignis would’ve rolled his eyes if he had it in him, but instead, he leaned into the kiss, following her cautious lead. Her pale hands crept from his shirt to his hair, pulling him lower and creating quite the ache in his neck. Somehow, he never imagined she’d be this ginger. Then again, he never imagined the way she would make him feel, either. Ignis heard footsteps outside just before his door was thrown open; they had just enough time to pull apart before Rayne marched in, but even as oblivious as she was, she knew she’d walked in on something.

“Oh shit, were you guys having a moment? Because I can leave if you want,” she offered, starting to back out of the room. Ignis sighed and pushed his glasses up, pulling away from Rue altogether and facing Rayne.  _The interruptions never end._

“No. What is it?”

“We just got news from Lestallum,” Rayne said, playing with her fingers anxiously. Some of the light had returned to her eyes. “We have reason to believe Iris is there. Alive.”

“Wait, seriously?” Rue asked, amazed. How much of a rollercoaster could their emotions take in a few hours? Rayne nodded, lips pursed.

“ _But…_ Signum looked at the guys who attacked them, and, well…” She sighed, crossing her arms. “They’re in Lestallum, too. Looking for her.”

~|~|~|~|~

“We’re going  _now,_ ” Gladio demanded. Noctis frowned, shaking his head.

“We can’t just up and leave everything behind.”

“Put Cor in charge,” the shield insisted, jerking his head toward the man across the room.

“Specs?”

“If we were able to secure the Citadel in that amount of time, perhaps leaving this evening would be an option,” Ignis muttered, thinking out loud. He pushed his glasses up and stared at nothing in particular. “But we also need a secure location in Lestallum.”

“Especially considering the circumstances,” Rayne added, crossing her arms. “We can’t just go waltzing in like all those other times.”

“So, we need protection,” Noctis grumbled, looking quite tired of all this nonsense that the world was throwing at him. Cor arched an eyebrow, his pale eyes scanning over the room.

“I see all you need right here,” he pointed out. “You have Rayne and Gladio as your shields, Prompto and Ignis at your back, and your outside intel.” Everyone glanced at Rue, who didn’t catch on until she saw them staring.

“Wait, I’m the outside intel?” she frowned. “What does that even mean?”

“No one will recognize you,” Ignis explained. “If we need to observe the city itself, you’re the person we’ll send.”

“And you trust me with that?” she pressed, seriously doubting their confidence.

“I hate to break it to you, but you don’t exactly stand out from the crowd in  _any_ way,” Rayne shrugged. “People have been seeing our faces on screens since they were children. It would be  _very_ helpful to have someone who could gather some outside info.”

“And you can take care of yourself,” Gladio added.

“Can I?” she huffed.

“You proved it today,” Rayne countered. Rue frowned, unable to look anyone in the eye. “Seriously, Rue. When you’re pushed hard enough, you push back twice as hard. You tend to keep your head in chaos.”  _Bitch_ _, please. Since when?_ “We could use that.”

“… Okay.”

“What else do we need?” Noctis asked Ignis, rubbing his temples slowly. Rue sighed. Her own  _king_ was younger than her, and yet, he was bearing all of Eos on his shoulders. Rayne, sympathetic, reached out a hand and rubbed his back, trying to ease the ache.

“Security here,” Ignis answered dutifully. “We can’t leave the Citadel defenseless in case certain reckless individuals catch wind of our absence.”

“I’ll double the Glaive on duty,” Rayne shrugged, pulling out her phone.

“Good,” Cor nodded. “And how will you be leaving?”

“We could take the big guys,” she muttered, texting something quickly. “But I feel like a giant black SUV with tinted windows and a Citadel plate would give us away  _fast.”_

“Right.”

“So, we take our own cars?”

“We’ll bring Noctis with us,” Gladio said firmly, looking across the table to Ignis. “I don’t doubt that you could take care of him,  _Mama Ignis,_ but he should probably be with me ‘n Rayne.”

“I know,” Ignis nodded firmly, looking over at Noct, who nodded back. “I can take Prompto and Rue, then.”

“Alright! The fun car!” Prompto cheered. Cor raised an eyebrow, his face stern.

“This isn’t a vacation, Prompto.”

“He’s trying to lighten the mood,” Rue muttered, cringing as she wished she could stuff the words back into her mouth.

“We don’t need a lightened mood; this is serious.”

“Lay off 'em,” Noctis snapped. Cor stared at him with cold eyes, but he said no more. “Once we get the Glaive settled, we’ll head out.”

“How long will that take?” Prompto asked, keeping his voice quiet and his eyes far from Cor’s.

“We should be prepared to leave the city in two hours,” Ignis answered, straightening his glasses and standing. Everyone followed suit, stunned with how little time they had. Quickly, Rue headed to the locker room and grabbed her jacket before hurrying back outside. Prompto waited for her, brightening up when he saw her coming.

“Hey. Wanna walk home together?”

“Sure.”

They took long, quick steps down the street, neither one pushing the other to explain their reaction to the eventful day. With a forced smile, Rue waved goodbye to Prompto and hurried into her house. She rushed to her room and grabbed her duffle bag, shoving clothes in without thinking much of what she would wear. She knew she still had well over an hour, but something trapped in her chest made her feel as though she had to run a thousand miles before Ignis got there. Quickly, she changed and shoved her uniform into her bag, too, though she doubted she would need it if they planned on staying out of the public’s eye.

When she finished cramming her belongings into the bag, she shot Relir a text saying she’d be out of town for a few days and collapsed onto the couch, breathless. She closed her eyes, reliving her episode earlier. Shame threatened to strangle her.  _How could I lose control like that?_ Swallowing the lump in her throat, she turned off her ringer and sat in silence for the rest of the time she had, staring at the wall with blank eyes.

Rue jolted out of her trance when someone knocked on the door, standing quickly and throwing the strap of her heavy bag over her shoulder. Ignis stood there, just as he had the night before, but this time, nothing made Rue want to be anywhere near him. He hadn’t done anything; she was embarrassed about her breakdown. She brushed past him, ignoring his offer to take her bag and shoving it into his car’s packed trunk. Prompto grinned, waving. She forced a smile back, irritated that he’d taken the back seat.

“Ready for a terrifying little road trip?” he asked when she got into the passenger seat. She took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart.

“I guess,” she replied, pretending she couldn’t see Ignis when he sat beside her and started the car. “How often do you find yourself on a terrifying little road trip?”

“Once in a lifetime opportunity right here, kids,” he teased, leaning forward and peering over her shoulder at her phone as she texted Relir back.

“Who’s that?”

“My friend.”

“ _Wait.”_ Prompto’s voice grew excited and Rue panicked, shutting off her screen.  _Shit_ _._ “Dude, I totally didn’t mean to snoop, but I  _definitely_ saw that you were talking about a guy.” Ignis’s brows twitched a  _nanometer_  and Rue chewed on her lip, staring out the window. “Oh, come on! Who is he?”

“… No one.”

“Seriously?” Prompto whined. “How come  _Relir_ gets to know?”

“Girl stuff.”

“Uh, not true. You were talking about a  _hookup_.”

“I was not,” she huffed, but her defense was weak. “And stop reading my texts. They’re personal.”

“You had them out in the open! Come on, tell me who it is.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she sighed, trying to come up with a lie. “I haven’t seen him in a long time, anyway.”

“Dude, I’m calling your bluff again,” he sang, grinning. Rue heaved a sigh, quelling her anger at his bubbly attitude. It was starting to get on her nerves. “I read something about  _last night._ ” Ignis was good at keeping his expression stoic, she had to give him that. She was certain that his heart was picking up the pace, though.

“Mind your own business.”

“Fine, fine,” Prompto murmured, falling back into his seat. “Gladio’s behind us.”

“Does Rayne ever drive that monstrosity?” Rue asked, taking the opportunity to change the subject.

“Not often,” Ignis replied, adjusting his rearview mirror. “She’s had her fair share of traumatic experiences.”

“What do you mean?”

“Her fiancé,” Prompto explained, pity clear in his face. “The one she was assigned for some treaty, like, six years ago. She was trying to help him escape the city when Cor hit her with one of those SUVs. He thought she was being held hostage.” He took a deep breath, glancing back at the car. “Wyn turned the car so that he got hit instead of her. Killed him instantly.”

“Damn,” Rue said under her breath.  _Why’s life so **garbage?**_

After they passed the bounds of the city, the setting sun at their backs, Rue plugged her earphones in and curled up against the door on her side. Even the feeling of his warmth made her sick with guilt; she huddled as far away as she could get, screwing her eyes shut. Eventually, she drifted off, face squished up against her folded arms. Occasionally, a bump in the road or the flash of a streetlight woke her, but she managed to sink back into blissful sleep, cocooned in the same music she’d been listening to for the past two years.

A warm hand on her shoulder shook her awake gently. She looked up to see Prompto smiling down at her in the darkness, lit only by the blinding lights reflecting off the pavement. Ignis opened his door and got out without a word.

“Hey, we’re here.”

“Are we?” Rue yawned, stretching her arms over her head and wincing. “Shit, I have to pee.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Untangling her sore limbs, Rue pushed her door open and stood, watching Gladio and Rayne talk in the parking spot nearby. She shook her head and headed around the back of the car, reaching for her duffle bag. Guilt struck her heart when Ignis’s sharp eyes met hers for a mere moment, colder than they’d been earlier. He looked tired. She pressed her lips together, trying to form an apology, but Prompto wouldn’t stand any farther than two steps from her, so she sighed and lifted her bag, hoping her expression was enough for now.  _Why am I such a child?_

“Ready to go?” Rayne asked. Noctis adjusted the front of his hoodie, staring up at the night sky. “You know where Iris is?”

“Dustin and Monica’s place,” Noctis grumbled, watching Rue hoist her bag onto her shoulder. “But we can’t stay there.”

“No, we’ll be in the Leville,” Ignis replied, locking his car and heading up the path. Rayne frowned, shooting a questioning look at Rue, who decided to pretend she couldn’t see.  _Am I only good for ruining things?_

“Let’s hope nightlife here isn’t too popular,” Gladio grumbled.

“It’s a Wednesday night,” Rayne sighed.

“You never know,” Prompto replied. “The guys around here don’t work, remember?”

“Lazy asses,” Rayne scoffed, sticking close to Noct’s side.

They hurried down the sidewalk, Gladio and Rayne doing their best to subtly hide Noctis from sight. Everyone held their breath and prayed they weren’t recognized, but they knew that had to be too much to hope for. Somewhere in the city, someone knew they had arrived. Rue took a deep breath and hurried to keep up with Ignis’s pace as he led the way through the winding streets filled with clutter and winding pipes. He stepped up to the counter briskly.

“Mr. Scientia?” the woman at the counter asked, handing over three keys. “We saved three rooms for you, sir. Let us know if you need anything else.”

“Thank you,” he muttered, taking the keys and leading the way up the stairs. Everyone piled into the first room he unlocked and settled around the space. Rue sat beside Prompto on one of the two beds, watching as Noctis fell into one of the chairs and heaved a sigh.

“Well, we made it in one piece,” he muttered.

“That was the easy part,” Gladio pointed out, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“What’s the plan now?” Rayne asked. “Check on Iris in the morning? What then?”

“We need to look for those guys,” Prompto piped up. “The ones who attacked them?”

“Signum said he recognized some people from the Kingsglaive—the one before the Fall.” Noctis slouched in his seat, looking at the chair across from him where Ignis sat, frowning. “I understand why they’re angry, but trying to  _kill_ them…”

“Perhaps they got out of hand,” Ignis suggested. “They planned on something else entirely, but someone riled the rest.”

“I can’t think about this now,” Rayne sighed, rubbing her face with a grimace. “I’m  _so_ tired and my head’s killing me.”

“Sleep on it?” Noctis asked. Prompto sighed.

“If you can.”

“Right.” He glanced around the room. “I guess we’ll stick to the same rooms as Altissia, then. Easier than fighting over them.”

Rue knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but they were too tired to care. Her heart sank when she realized that meant she’d be with Ignis, her guilty conscience weighing heavily on her mind. Rayne scoffed, glancing across the room at her smugly.  _Stop it._ Prompto smiled, flopping back onto the mattress beside her.

“That means you gotta get out, losers.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Gladio huffed, shifting the weight of the bags on his back.

“And keep the noise to a minimum.”

“Will do,” Rayne scoffed, throwing the door open and heading down the hall. Gladio plucked a key from Ignis’s hand, following. With a sigh, the advisor pushed his glasses up and stood, nodding toward the king.

“Goodnight, Majesty.” He looked to Prompto, eyes stern. “Sleep in the bed closer to the door and be prepared for any intruders. I doubt anyone would attack so soon, but we can’t be too careful.” Prompto nodded gravely, coming back down to earth with the gravity of their situation.

“Night, Specs.”

Rue stood and followed him, chewing her lip uncertainly. He pushed open a door and stepped inside. The room was nearly identical to Noctis’s, complete with two beds, a door to a narrow balcony, and a table surrounded by patterned chairs. She set her bag down beside the first bed, looking around slowly. The paint peeled in strips from the walls, stained by water and dirt. Framed photographs of the meteor hung on the walls, the blues blending in with the rest of the room, and frankly, with her mood. She glanced over at Ignis, who sharply drew the curtains shut. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, breaking the silence. He didn’t reply, touching his glasses and heaving his bag onto his bed. “Ignis, I—”

“For what?” he interrupted, on edge.

“For being a bitch,” she sighed, leaning against the mattress and crossing her arms. “To sum it up.” He busied himself with searching through his belongings, waiting. Uncertain she continued. “And for losing my shit and shutting down.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But…” Rue frowned, confused.  _Isn’t that what he wanted to hear?_

“You’re allowed time to deal with your issues, Rue,” he sighed, finally looking at her. “I can’t blame you for closing off when you’re struggling.”

“I’m not—” Rue cut herself off, averting her eyes.

“… Relir knows.”

“Yeah.” Rue pressed her lips together. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not what you think; I didn’t say anything to help her figure it out.” She sat down, pulling her shoes off. “She was on my doorstep when you dropped me off the other day.”

“Yesterday?”

“Gods, what is yesterday?” she huffed, frowning. “Holy fuck, it feels like it’s been a century.”

“It has been a long day,” Ignis muttered. He gave up on sorting his things and came around the side of his bed to face her.

“I guess I’m sorry about that, too.” Rue tucked her hair behind her ear. “Because I could’ve just left her with what she saw, but I told her everything.”

“There’s not much to tell.”

“There’s probably more than you think,” she argued, glancing up at him. Frustrated with herself, she shook her head, holding her arms tighter. “But I’m  _sorry_ because she knows everything, probably even shit I don’t know yet, and I feel like it was a waste because…” She swallowed, wishing she could snatch the words from the air. “I don’t know if this is going anywhere, Ignis.” She expected him to close off in a snappy response as he would’ve weeks ago, but he was quick to reply, eyes locked on hers.

“Do you want it to?”

“I…” Rue closed her eyes, brought back to the day Eren begged her to give “them” a try. It was a  _mess_ with an even messier end. It  _hurt._ It seemed everything she wanted to last was destined to crumble into ash and fall through her fingers. It was only ever the pain that seemed to stick around. But… it was hope that brought her to kiss him, wasn’t it? She took a deep breath. “I think so.” Heart skipping a beat, she looked back up at him. “And you…?”

“I hardly think I’d put this much work into something if I didn’t expect some payoff.” Normally, the words would’ve felt cold, but his eyes were warm, and she understood what he was hesitant to say directly. She nodded, cracking a tired smile.

“So, how long until Rayne sniffs us out?”

“She’s good at hiding what she knows so far,” he admitted.

“Damn right.” Rue stood and crouched down to her bag, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. “Mind if I change here?”

“No.”

Ignis straightened and headed back to his bag, turning away while she got dressed. Stuffing her dirty clothes into her bag, she flopped onto her bed and checked her phone. She found herself distracted by a limited-time event in one of her games, but when she looked up again, Ignis had changed out of his work clothes, shoving his bag under the bed. She sat up suddenly, setting her phone aside. Ignis raised an eyebrow when she intentionally caught his eye. Smiling, she patted the empty space in the bed beside her. Frowning he glanced at the door.

“What do you expect me to say when Rayne comes in early in the morning to disturb us?”

“Lock the door?” Rue arched an eyebrow, cocking her head to the side. “You wake up before anyone else, anyway.” He still looked hesitant. “C’mon, Iggy. Just tell her I had a nightmare or some bullshit.”

She’d recently discovered that her use of his nickname had the same effect as Prompto’s puppy eyes—it was about time she started abusing the trick. With a hefty sigh, he switched off the lamp for the other bed and walked over. She grinned, victorious.  _Such a softie._ Ignis laid down and she watched as he quickly set an alarm.

“Oh, six? This isn’t a vacation, Ignis,” she teased. He shot her a look.

“Your contacts.”

“Dammit,” she hissed, leaping to her feet and snatching her glasses from her bag. “Stay there.”

“I’ve nowhere else to be.” She paused halfway to the bathroom, turning back.

“Brush your teeth, Ignis.” Sighing, he got up and she laughed. “See? You aren’t so together after all.”

“It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, it has.”

Rue quickly got to work getting the contacts out of her eyes, jumping and nearly blinding herself when Ignis brushed past her. Finally, she got her glasses on and viciously scrubbed her teeth. Ignis raised an eyebrow when she left the bathroom long before him.

“That was nowhere near two minutes.”

“Shut up, Ignis.”

“And you want me to give up my own bed,” he muttered, shaking his head. She swiveled around to flip him off, smiling smugly at his reflection.

Feeling somewhat at peace, Rue settled under the covers and answered a text from Dex about feeding Honey. Eventually, the bathroom light flicked off and Ignis returned, setting his glasses on the side table between the beds. Rue set her phone down and handed it over with a pleading expression. Without argument, he obeyed her silent demand to set it on the table and switched off the light. Over the edge of the curtain rod, bright moonlight shined into the room. Rue scanned the silhouette of Ignis’s face with a faint smile, turning onto her side to face him. He turned his eyes from the ceiling, glancing down at her.

“Thanks for putting up with my bullshit.”

“I suppose someone has to.”

“Don’t act like it’s such a chore,” she teased, pressing a kiss to his cheek and squeezing her eyes shut, basking in the warmth radiating from his body. “Goodnight.”


	56. Getting Nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ready To Go" by Panic! At The Disco

            The shrill sound of Ignis's alarm dragged Rue up from a dreamless sleep. She rolled away from him when he started to get up, gathering up all the blankets she could and cocooning in them. Half-awake, she heard the shower start up before she succumbed to sleep once more. The lights woke her a second time when Ignis reentered the room, dressed and prepared for the day. Taking a deep breath, she rolled over and watched him scroll through his phone, likely scanning the news.

"Good morning," she grumbled, stretching her arms over her head. He merely raised an eyebrow, choosing to continue reading rather than to look up at her. "Anything interesting?"

"It's the same as always," he replied.

"And that is...?"

"Reconstruction efforts and complaints from disgruntled mothers."

"Ah." Rue sat up and pushed her glasses onto her face, not quite ready to leave the warmth of the bed. The sun peaked over the curtain rod, lighting the room far better than one of the lamps could have.  _I should probably shower._ She grimaced.  _But I really don't want to._ She fell back against the pillows.  _I think it can wait a little longer._

"The others will be up soon if they aren't already," Ignis said, tucking his phone away.

"Is that your way of telling me to get my ass out of bed?"

"There's a good chance."

"Is it ever 'yes' or 'no' with you?"

"Yes."

"Funny, Ignis." She scoffed. He couldn't have looked smugger if he tried. She rolled over, propping her chin up with her hand. "Did you sleep well?"

Ignis's expression melted away with the slightest twitch of a frown. He wished he could say he had a restful night, filled with peaceful dreams and minimal disturbances, but that was hardly the case. Even after all this time, the instincts he'd conformed himself to in his years of blindness continued to kick in. The senses may have faded in strength, but the reactions were still there. His ears refused to rest, his skin was sensitive to touch, and occasionally he'd find himself panicking as he tried to open his eyes, only to awaken realizing he had been half-dreaming. It was a night as nights had always been since the Dawn; not restless, but certainly not restful. The separation from Noctis at such a dangerous time didn't do him any favors.

"As well as I could," he finally answered, touching his glasses and turning back to the window. He craved to open them and let the sunshine in, but at the same time, he feared that would be all the enemy needed to locate them—if they hadn't already.

"I understand," Rue nodded, though he knew she didn't really.

She had a knack for bouncing back and forth between cold and empathetic. If one didn't know to find the signs, her constant changes would be alarming. Even if Rue couldn't understand, Ignis could. She adapted subconsciously and, only in the aftermath, wondered if she'd been too much this and too little that. It was only natural. He nodded to acknowledge her statement and stood, feeling restlessness settle into his anxious body. All he wanted was to ease his mind by  _seeing_ that Noctis was alright.

"I'll be right back," he said, hurrying out the door before she could reply.

With a long, sure stride, Ignis headed down the narrow hallway of peeling paint and chipped wood, stopping at Noctis's room. His hand hesitated above the door, hovering. For a moment, he worried he'd been too anxious to check on the young king, but in the end, he decided he'd better check regardless. Better to over-mother than to set him off on his own too early. When he knocked and heard groans and grumbles, he knew he had no reason to fear. Prompto came to the door, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"Yeah? What's up, Ignis?"

"Just checking to make sure you're awake," Ignis replied dutifully peering past Prompto into the room. Noctis's head poked up from his pillows and he sighed when he saw his advisor.

"What time is it, Specs? Can't I sleep a little longer?"

"It's seven. I've given you plenty of time to rest."

" _Seven_?" he repeated, falling back down with a groan. "... I'll be up in a minute or so."

"I'll get him moving," Prompto reassured Ignis, flashing a tired smile. "Thanks for getting us up. Rayne was supposed to, but she was, um, distracted, if you catch my drift."

"I do," Ignis sighed, preferring to keep his thoughts directed toward other things. "We're all meeting here at eight."

"Do the lovebirds know that?" Noctis grumbled. Ignis pulled his phone out of his pocket and adjusted his glasses.

"They will shortly."

With that, he steadily returned to his room, quickly vanquishing the vague temptation to stop by Gladio's room and knock for petty revenge on Rayne's constant disruptions. When he entered his room again, Rue was dressed, though she'd returned to bed and was typing on her phone. Ignis carefully peered out the window and watched the light of the sun crawl over the horizon, listening as Rue quietly hummed an unfamiliar tune to herself. The time passed much quicker than he expected. Soon enough, he and Rue entered Noctis's room once more, separating. Ignis stood, pacing slowly, and Rue sat beside Prompto, who was still gently nudging hairs into place on top of his head.

"So... What's the plan for today?" Rayne asked, looking far more exhausted than she should. Rue blamed the beds; they were nice enough, but every now and again, a spring would dig into her bones and bruise her skin. It was unpleasant, to say the least.

"Find Iris and make sure she's doing alright," Noctis answered confidently, though he glanced at Ignis for reassurance and Rue  _definitely_ didn't miss that. Prompto finally set down the mirror and she rolled her eyes, though Ignis's words intrigued her.

"Of course, but that isn't why we've come."

"Explain," Rayne half-heartedly demanded. She really didn't seem to care.

"There's a group of trained soldiers here that are searching for her—and likely, by now, for us as well. We need to find where they are and crush the opposition before this can go much farther." Ignis turned to look at Rue, arms crossed with two fingers pinching his chin. "That's where you come in. I'll need you to wander about the city and see what information you can collect from things you see or overhear from others."

"She can't go alone."

"Why not?" Ignis frowned.

"Oh, okay. A week ago you wanted to stop her from going into danger, but now you don't care?" Rayne scoffed. "Anyway, that's not it. She doesn't know the city, and that's apparent to people who live here—she'll stand out even though she clearly isn't Crownsguard."  _Might as well be._

"So, what are you suggesting?" Gladio pried, frowning. "If any of us go, that'll blow her cover."

"I can go," Rayne insisted, adjusting the black baseball cap on her head. "Listen, it's always the big, bad men these guys look out for. They won't think twice if they see me. They probably didn't notice anything but my ass on television, anyway."

"You're not wrong," Prompto laughed. Gladio shot him a look.

"Fine." Ignis spoke after thinking for a long, long time. "Fine," he repeated after another pause. "Rayne will go with Rue to ensure that she doesn't get lost and the rest of us will find Iris."

"Who's with Monica and Dustin," Prompto said.

"Yes."

"Good. Just making sure."

"When are they expecting us?" Noctis asked. Everyone jumped when someone pounded on the door.

"Room service!"

"Shit, I almost peed my pants," Prompto hissed. Rue didn't miss the shower of sparks in his hand as his gun dissipated.  _They really are all on edge._

"I'll get it," Rayne sighed, stepping outside and returning with two trays of food. "Damn, you guys must be hungry."

"It's not just for us," Noct huffed. Prompto dug in as soon as breakfast hit the table in the center of the room.

"They're expecting us before noon," Ignis replied, returning to the earlier subject. "Whenever we feel prepared to leave, we can."

"And you know where to find their place?" Gladio asked. Ignis nodded.

"Of course. They live along the same street of the building Cid stayed in during the Darkness." He pushed up his glasses, a heavy, tense silence overtaking the room. Rue frowned, looking around nervously. "I know all the shortcuts," he said finally. He spoke no more.

The food disappeared quickly and before Rue could gather her thoughts, they began to file out of the room and into the lobby. Rayne hung back with her, shoving her hands into the pockets of her sweatshirt.  _Arma's_ sweatshirt.

"Guess we should leave after them to  _really_ emphasize that we have nothing to do with them."

"Guess so," Rue sighed, falling into one of the chairs and picking at her nails. "How long do you think we'll be here?"

"I dunno. Why? You got a hot date?"

"Uh, no." Rue raised an eyebrow, thrilled for once that her face didn't go red. "Relir wants to know how long she needs to take care of my cat."

"Your cat? Aren't you supposed to be able to just... leave them alone?"

"Yeah, well, Honey's a spoiled brat, and if she doesn't get attention, she destroys things." Rue sighed. "And I miss my bed."

"I feel you," Rayne huffed. "Mine had a fucking  _board_ under the sheet to fill in a big-ass hole in the mattress."

"Isn't this place supposed to be nice?"

"Yeah, well, I guess upkeep is too much money these days."

"... Has it been long enough?"

"I think so."

Rue stood and followed Rayne out into the hallway, arms crossed tightly over her chest. She was paranoid, but without Rayne's usual black uniform, no one looked twice as the two women strode by. Outside, Rue shielded her eyes and looked up at the sun before scanning over the city. She'd been here during the Darkness, but she'd only stopped at the outskirts with the others to trade with some survivors. Inside, she knew that there had been warriors and the king's pets; even thinking back it now, it made her angry.  _How selfish could they be?_ An idea suddenly struck her.  _Are the same people that attacked Caem?_

"So, do you want a grand tour?" Rayne asked, turning around to face Rue as she walked. "We gotta kill time anyway. I doubt many people will be talking about us anytime soon."

"Sounds good to me."

Rayne explained about the city's inner workings—the people who lived here, the women who worked, the men who felt their pride hurt by those women's success. The marketplace was busy for an early weekday morning; Rayne decided it was too risky to venture in. Instead, they turned tail and viewed the power plant before heading all the way back across town and peering at the expanse of Lucis from the outlook. Rue stared in wonder at the greenery, the glow of the meteor, and the rocky crag that split the earth.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing at the ravine. Rayne leaned over her shoulder, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, that? I think it's called the Tempering Grounds. Gladio left us for a bit to go fight Gilgamesh after his pride was hurt," she scoffed. "Almost got Noct killed, which in turn, almost got  _me_ killed."

"Gilgamesh?"

"Some warrior dude, I dunno." She brushed Rue off, coming closer to the edge and leaning against the low wall. "I guess that's when I realized how much he mattered to me, though."

"Aw, that's so cheesy," Rue cooed, rolling her eyes. Rayne shoved her shoulder and shook her head.

"Any developments between you and Iggy?"

"Rayne—"

"Answer me this seriously, then." Rayne turned to face her, raising an eyebrow. "Do you feel  _anything_ for him? Like, at all?"

"I..." Rue wasn't sure what direction to take. Show development? Throw her off the trail? "No. I've  _tried,_ Rayne, but I can't. Not after Eren."  _Ow._ "It hasn't been that long."  _It really hasn't._ Her heart ached from her own words, and it only added more emotion to her voice. Rayne frowned, but she nodded.

"Yeah... Sorry for pushing you so much. I guess I got a little ahead of myself."

"It's okay. Relir's always begging me to find more guys for her to disapprove of."

"Great friend," Rayne huffed, straightening. "C'mon, we gotta find something else to do."

"It's  _hot,_ " Rue complained, wiping her forehead and dragging her feet. "How are you  _wearing_ that thing?"

"I'm used to it," Rayne shrugged. "I trekked across the planet wearing a black leather jacket in the heat of the summer. I'll be okay."

"Damn, she's hardcore," Rue huffed, keeping her eyes peeled for anything suspicious.

Their entire day was spent wandering place to place, keeping their eyes and ears open for anything notable. They found absolutely nothing, sitting miserably in the heat until the sun began to sink and Rayne told Rue the others had returned to the Leville. Rue's shoulders slumped as she kicked at stones and clumps of dirt, defeated. Finally, they reached Noctis's room, where everyone waited expectantly.

"So? Anything?" Prompto asked eagerly. Exhausted, Rue shook her head and plopped down beside him. Sighing, she laid her head on his shoulder and watched Rayne enter the room.

"Nothing at all," Rayne huffed, exasperated. "I don't understand. I thought these guys were supposed to stand out."

"Perhaps they've left the city," Ignis suggested. The others looked remarkably relaxed, pleased with their day.  _Must've been nice._

"No, not if this is their turf."

"We're not animals."

"Aren't they?" Rayne demanded. "They marched onto  _Noct's_ land and  _attacked—_ "

"Hey," Gladio stepped in, tugging her back toward the wall by her elbow. She took a deep breath and shook her head, slumping against the drywall.

"How was the visit?" Rue asked, her eyelids heavy. Gladio cracked a smile.

"Iris is doing fine. Looks a little beat up, but that never stopped her."

"We caught up with old allies as well," Ignis answered. "They filled us in on the city's changes and we informed them on Insomnia's wellbeing."

"Dustin and Monica?" she muttered, trying to remember. He nodded. "Anything important?"

"Not particularly. It seems Lestallum went back to running the way it always has."

"Lucky them."

"Is that all?" Rayne asked. "Is it time for bed?"

"It's only eight," Noctis pointed out.

"You think I care? Me and Rue dragged ourselves around in the heat all day and listened to people talk about how cute we were while we tried to snoop out the guys who attempted to murder my family."

"Yeah, it's time for bed," Gladio huffed, tugging the door open and nudging her outside. He glanced back at Noct. "Hit us up if you need anything."

"Will do."

"Alright, time for you to get out," Prompto teased, forcing Rue to stand. "You can't sleep in here."

"No? We can't have a slumber party?" she teased.

"And leave Iggy out? That's not fair!"

"He's invited."

"You're inviting him into  _our_ room?"

"It's technically under his name."

"Rue," Prompto laughed, shoving her. "What, is Ignis being mean to you?" Ignis raised an eyebrow, smoothing his shirt as he stood.

"Hardly," he muttered. "Rue, are you coming?"

"Yeah, yeah," she sighed, forcing herself to sleepily head to her and Ignis's room.

She immediately got into the shower and scrubbed the grime off her skin, surprised by a sudden spray of ice-cold water that elicited a started cry and the toppling of her soap bottles. Frustrated, she dried off roughly and yanked her clothes on before heading back into the room. Ignis looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow. She felt her heart squeeze a little when she realized he was waiting there, contentedly, in "her" bed, without being begged.

"Have an accident?" he asked, watching her ruffle her hair with an old towel. She scoffed, hanging the towel over a chair and heading toward the bed.

"I took my tits on an accidental trip to the tundra, if that's what you're asking." He blinked at the space before him, processing her reply. "But that wasn't even my fault."

"How does such a journey occur?" he wondered, glancing over at her when she crawled under the covers.

"Bad pipes," she muttered, tugging her glasses off. She patted his leg. "Get under here, dude. It's hard to pull the blankets when you're on top of them."

"And what if I'd prefer to stay up here?"

"Ignis, I'm tired," she whined, giving a helpless tug on the covers. He sighed and stood, pulling his bag out and fishing for the clothes he wore to bed the night before. Rue folded her arms behind her head, raising an eyebrow smugly when he caught her watching. "What?" she asked innocently. "You gonna strip for me?"

"That's a lot of pressure," he replied dryly, continuing to work the buttons on his shirt. He paused, still eying Rue. "No, I'm not."

"Oh, don't be shy," she teased. "It's not like I haven't seen it before."

He shook his head and finally, with a small laugh, she looked away to study the walls. Finally, he turned the light off and slid under the covers, though he returned to his phone. Rue shifted closer, curious. It appeared to be an article on a powerplant accident that happened a few weeks prior.

"What're you doing?" she asked, squinting to make out the words.

"Researching."

"On the city?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'd prefer to know as much as possible about where we are," he replied simply. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No." She reached over and blindly grabbed her glasses.

"I thought you were tired?"

"I wanna research, too."

She laid her head on his shoulder and scanned the words as quickly as she could, but he scrolled too fast for her to keep up most times. She felt bad asking him to slow down constantly, so she gave up and shifted closer, peering up at his face. In the darkness, the light from his phone screen illuminated his face and cast shadows across the edges of the scars that twisted the skin around his eyes.

Ignis could tell she quit reading when she grew quiet and stopped making comments on the articles he was finding. Finishing his sentence, he glanced down at her. She allowed a small smile and traced the small scar on his lip gingerly. It was undoubtedly from the same messy accident that tore at the rest of his face. Rue took a deep breath, adjusting where her chin rested.

"What happened?" she asked. "You know, the scars." He sighed, but he didn't set his phone aside, letting it provide light enough to cast a glare across her glasses.

"While Noctis was performing the rite with Leviathan in Altissia, the Imperials were attempting to subdue the god as they had with Titan."  _All_ _of that flew over my head._ "Noct collapsed and I made a temporary ally of Ravus Nox Fleuret."  _Who's that again?_ "When I finally found him, I had little power to stop Ardyn, the man who attacked him to begin with, and, well..." He sighed. "I put on the Ring of the Lucii."  _Now there's something familiar._

"Well, you're here, so I'm assuming they didn't burn you alive."

"No. We made a bargain." Ignis frowned. "They would grant me the power to save Noctis and take my sight in return."

"Wait, you were  _blind?_ "

"You never heard?" he asked. "I'm surprised. It seemed to be the wonder of the century, behind Noct's return." Rue eyed the scars again, feeling her gut twist. To be completely blinded in order to save the Chosen King's life... She couldn't imagine.

"When did you get it back?"

"Upon regaining Insomnia," he answered. "Lady Lunafreya made one last plea to the gods for our lives and was granted the power to heal us." He glanced back down at her. "Rayne lost her right arm in the fight for Altissia; Luna healed her as well."

"I can't imagine," Rue managed to puff out. The underestimated the dedication these people had for their king.  _I feel like such a baby for making a big deal out of what I've been through._ " _Three_   _years_  without sight." She couldn't wrap her head around the possibility of not seeing Ana a single time all those years. "Sight was the only hope I  _had._ "

"Yes, well, I admit I was quite relieved when it returned," he replied in a low voice. "We all had to adapt to changes; mine was no different."

"Yours was by  _choice_." Rue rested her hand against his chest, chewing on her cheek. Softly, she laughed.  _I never knew..._ "You really are a good guy, you know that?"

"I'd hardly say I'm on the enemy's side."

"You know what I meant," she scoffed. "I don't think I'd be brave enough for that shit."

"It's not about bravery." He shook his head and goosebumps raised across her skin when she felt his fingers gently running through her hair. "It was a covenant I forged long before the day I had to act. I could hardly break it after sixteen years."

"Yeah, okay." She rolled her eyes and he allowed a small smile. "I mean it, though. You're  _too_ good for me. You gotta go steal a baby's candy or something."

"... Would that be equivalent?"

"No." She sighed and closed her eyes as her heart sank.  _Gods, I really am evil, aren't I?_ "Not at all. You'd die for people you love; I just killed them and ran for it." Shaking her head, she squeezed her eyes shut. "Your bedtime story's putting me to sleep."

"Good." He turned the brightness down on his phone. "Goodnight."

"Night."


	57. Blast from the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Alexithymia" by Anberlin

“What the  _hell_ are you doing here?” Rayne demanded, shooting off the edge of Noct’s bed and glowering at the young man in the doorway. Rue looked up from her phone to see Signum standing there, his wounds scarred and his bruises nearly all gone. Prompto nearly dropped his bowl of oatmeal on the floor.

“I came to see Iris.” The boy’s dull blue eyes traveled around the room slowly, taking in all the mixed reactions. He nodded toward Noctis. “And to help you guys take care of His majesty.”

“He’s not dying,” Rayne scoffed. “And nothing will happen while we’re around.”

“Oh, really?” Sig turned sharply to face her, his eyes darkened with bitterness. “Remind me what happened while you were Altissia.” He swept an arm out to the side. “I mean really, look at you guys. A cameraman, a secretary, and two  _lovers_ who’re too busy staring at each other to look around. That sound safe to you?”

“And you think adding a little bitch to the mix would be helpful?” Gladio retorted, shaking his head. “Get a grip.”

“… Close the door,” Rayne said finally. She didn’t sit back down as she waited, arms crossed and eyes narrowed on the wall behind Gladio. Signum shrugged and obeyed, but he didn’t venture very far from his exit. “You do realize that this isn’t all about Iris, don’t you?”

“I’m not that stupid,” he retorted. Rayne’s eyes flared and Rue knew it was time for everyone else to step back and shut their mouths.

“No? You thought it was a good idea to come waltzing into the same town your attackers are supposedly based and  _lead_ them right to us? You’re not an unrecognizable face, Signum.”

“You think I don’t know that? I didn’t exactly come dressed in my  _gear._ ” He waved to the front of his wrinkled t-shirt, turning his eyes back up to his sister’s sharply.

“How did you find us?” Noctis asked, only ever looking away to exchange a look with Ignis.

“I knew you were headed to Lestallum,” Sig shrugged. “You’d be too afraid to stay in a big group with other Crownsguard members if you wanted to stay hidden, and there’s only one hotel here so…” He let his words trail off, his point made. Rayne cursed under her breath and ran a hand through her hair. “The lady at the front desk told me which rooms you were in when I asked for the king.”

“You’re kidding me,” Rayne scoffed.

“They need a better privacy policy,” Signum shrugged.

“You need to leave,” his sister sighed. “We have enough help here.”

“See, that’s your problem,” Sig countered, raising his voice with the tension that threatened to choke them all. “You think you’re still in charge of me and every little thing I do.”  _Gods, we love a good family soap opera,_ Rue thought sardonically, rolling her eyes and sinking back against Prompto. Still, she had to admit she was on edge. This was  _not_ good.

“Technically, I'm your  _boss_ ,” Rayne muttered.

“ _Technically,_ you got a taste of power and now you’re abusing it.”

“Good gods, Signum, I have no  _power_ ,” she snorted.

“Just because you  _raised_ me doesn’t mean you get a say in my life,” Signum continued, waving his hands like a madman.  _Seriously, how old is this guy?_ “Dad didn’t want me—cool. You can’t use that to—”

“It's always all about your daddy issues,” Gladio grumbled. Signum whirled around and glowered at him.

“ _You_ don’t get a say in  _anything!_ This is a  _family_ problem.”

“You made it an everyone problem when you brought it here,” the shield countered, shrugging.

“Signum, if you want to see Iris, that’s fine. But after that, you need to go,” Rayne cut in, struggling to get a hold on the situation.

“No.” Signum shook his head. “You don’t get it.” He turned to Noctis. “I’m confused as to why she’s still here, honestly. She doesn’t give a  _damn_ about you, you know that?”

“That’s not—!"

“At first, she was here because our dad made her do this, right?” Sig began to pace, tugging at his hair as he wrestled with his anger. “But then, she fell in love with the enemy, convinced everyone your  _father_ was about to blow into smithereens, and then used that same excuse to try and release the  _leading commander_ of the Imperial army so that he could go back home and use our weak points!” He threw his arms out to the side, staring incredulously at the king. “And you keep her around to watch your back?!”

“Sig—”

“Shut up!” he snapped. “ _Now,_ she’s only here to protect  _Gladio._ That’s all this is, Highness, I swear it on my life. She’s here  _yet again_ to save the  _other_ love of her life. Remember what  _just_ happened in Altissia?”

“You weren’t there,” Rayne huffed, hands on her hips.

“ _From what I heard,_ the only two people  _technically_ obligated to stand by your side and give their lives to protect yours were out fucking around in Lalaland. Who saved you?” He pointed a finger at Rue sharply. “A fucking secretary.”

“And who saved the secretary?” Rayne demanded.

“That’s not your job!”

“My  _job_ is to protect  _everyone,_ Signum!” she shouted, at the end of her rope. “You’d know that if you spent a  _second_ listening to what we were taught instead of  _moping!_ ”

“I wasn’t taught anything,” Sig huffed. “He hated my guts and you know it. That’s not my point.”

“What is it then?” Rayne demanded. “ _Please._ Enlighten me.”

“You’re here for all the wrong reasons. You don’t give a shit about Noctis’s life. You don’t give a shit about  _my_ life. You act like your life is so difficult, but you’re just  _ungrateful._ You had parents who loved you and friends and lovers and whatever else you could ever want at your command.” Signum’s hands balled up and then released. “It just pisses me off that you get all these  _chances_ , but when I didn’t learn how to walk fast enough, the whole fucking world turned against me.”

“Are you done crying?” Gladio asked, arching an eyebrow. Rayne’s lips were pressed together impatiently, but her expression was soft.

“I’m staying,” Signum retorted, throwing the door open.  _Did he get a room already?_ With sharp eyes, he turned back to his sister. “Fighting for something all your life doesn’t mean that's the right thing to do.”

“Deep,” Gladio grunted, irritated as he watched the door shut behind Sig. Ignis cleared his throat, glancing up at Rue.

“I suggest you search harder for any clues of whereabouts today. We need to return to the Crown City as soon as possible.”

“It’s not like we had much cover to begin with,” Rayne huffed, sitting back down. “They already knew where we’re staying, Ignis.”

“Precisely why we need to find them and discover what they—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rayne cut in sharply. “Don’t push it. Just go sit on your asses with Iris while me and Rue put our lives on the line.”

“Is that new for you?” Noctis muttered, glancing up at her. She rolled her eyes and jerked her head toward the door.

“C’mon, Rue. We got places to be and people to see.”

“Okay,” Rue sighed, standing and shooting Ignis a look before heading out into the hallway. Signum was nowhere to be found. Rayne charged down the stairs, slamming her palms down on the front desk. The woman working gasped, jumping.

“Don’t you fucking  _ever_ give a room number to a stranger again, you hear me?” she demanded. “I shouldn’t have strange men wandering into my room because you told him where I am when he asked.”

“H-he asked for you by name!”

“Even worse!” Rayne shouted, hitting the counter again. “Keep your damn mouth shut.”

With that, she turned on her heels and headed outside, straightening her sweatshirt. Rue followed uncertainly, lips pursed. But once she got closer, she realized that was all Rayne needed to get the anger out of her system. The blonde turned and faced her with a smile.

“Now that we’ve covered that base, let’s go visit a friend of our own.”

“Who’s that?”

“Cid. Remember the cranky old coot from Caem who thought you were Noct’s concubine?”

“Why would I want to visit him?” Rue frowned, raising an eyebrow. Rayne shrugged.

“You don’t get a choice.”

“Seriously?” Rue crossed her arms, lowering her voice. “What happened to looking for the guys that tried to kill Signum?”

“They don’t want to be found. We’re better off letting them come to us first,” she replied simply, heading down the street. “Once they realize we’re leaving whether they come out or not, they’ll turn up.”

“You’re sure?”

“Sure?” Rayne tossed a grin over her shoulder. “I’d bet my life on it, bitch.”

They headed across town without speaking another word. Rue watched Rayne’s every move carefully, trying not to get lost. Her stride was far shorter than the soldier’s and it soon became obvious that she would have to do an awkward half-trot to keep up. Her legs began to burn.

The building towered tall just like all the rest of the city, grayish-blue paint chipping from uneven bricks and rusted downspouts dented away from the wall so that the water collecting in the gutters above poured onto the muddy path instead of into the grates below them. A dingy white brick propped the iron front door open and a fan blew Rue’s hair back as she stepped inside. The floors were rough concrete, the walls wood panels. Rayne headed up the creaky staircase to their left and Rue followed. The air smelled musty despite the fresh breeze at the door—the first floor felt like a basement.

At the top of the stairs stood a scuffed wooden door with an iron keyhole. Rayne’s knuckles struck the door, but the wood dulled the sound. Rolling her eyes, she kicked it twice. Rue rubbed her arm anxiously, looking overhead at the flickering light covered in dusty webs and spiders with pointed bodies and spindly legs. A shuffle behind the door caught her attention. Slowly, the door creaked open and a dull eye peeked through the crack. Rue frowned at the old man’s grumbled words as he pulled it open wider.

“What the  _hell_ are ya’ll doin’ on my doorstep?”

“That’s confidential,” Rayne shrugged, crossing her arms. “I can tell you if you let us inside, though.”

Cid grumbled something about the king’s privileged lackeys and turned as a silent invitation for them to follow. Rayne flashed a proud smile and stepped inside. Hesitant, Rue entered and looked around. It smelled much cleaner and it certainly looked more like a home than the room they first entered. A woman poked her head out of the kitchen, her face brightening with a confused smile.

“Oh, Rayne! What are you doing here?”

“I thought we’d stop by while we’re in town,” Rayne shrugged. Cid grumbled something else and sat down in a recliner beside a broad window overlooking the main road. From there, Rue could see the glow of the meteor across the ocean of lush forest.

“How nice of you to give me a warning,” the old man huffed.

“Sorry,” Rayne muttered. She didn’t sound sorry in the slightest. She grabbed an ottoman from the front of the second chair and dragged it over to the floor space before Cid, plopping down and crossing her leg over her knee. Rue sat beside her, unsure of herself. Cid’s eyes narrowed.

“What’re you doin’ here? Weren’t you goin’ to Altissia?”

“Yeah, and she came back with us, too,” Rayne snorted.

“Wasn’t talkin’ to you.”

“Do you want to know why we’re here or not?”

“Let me guess.” Cid leaned forward, tugging on his dingy baseball cap. “Ya’ll came to check on Iris after she was attacked on the road.”

“Wait—”

“Monica ain’t stupid,” he chuckled. “She stops by to keep me updated.”

“And then she hurries out.” Rue turned to see the woman striding toward the door. “Keep him company for me, won’t you? His Majesty is with Iris as we speak.”

“Sure thing,” Rayne nodded. She turned back to Cid once the door closed behind Monica. “Well, anyway. We’re also here to take care of whoever it is that decided it would be smart to attack Caem, but we haven’t had much luck finding them.” Cid sank back into his seat, his thin lips curling into some semblance of a smile.

“Well, you might be gettin’ the trail yer lookin’ for without knowin’ it.”

“What do you mean?” Rayne frowned, cocking her head to the side.

“You think I sit here like roadkill all day?” Cid chuckled. “I hear things when I’m out on the street. Ain’t nobody suspectin’ an old man to keep an ear open.”

“What have you heard?” Rayne pressed, leaning forward.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” His eyes turned toward the stone on her finger that glinted in the sunlight pouring in through the glass. “You still gettin’ married to that dimwit?”

“Yeah?” Rayne laughed. “But who knows? Maybe you heard something different.”

“Maybe I did.” Cid glanced at Rue. “What’re you bein’ so quiet for?”

“I don’t have much to add,” Rue admitted sheepishly.

“She’s shy,” Rayne dismissed, impatient. “What have you heard?”

“I know where those fellas hole up.” Cid picked up the glass to his right and took a long drink of water. “Old bar back by the powerplant. The front door’s boarded up, so they crawl in through the cellar around back.”

“Who are they?”

“Glaives. Old ones, by the looks of it. All the ones  _you_ turned down when Insomnia kicked back to life.” Cid shot her a pointed look. Rayne sighed, her shoulders slumping forward.

“I can’t trust people I’ve never met to protect Noct.”

“I know.” He turned back to the window. “Their leader served before the Fall. Says his buddies all either turned on Reggie when the Empire attacked, or they died.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I talked to ‘em.” Rue frowned, startled, and stared. “Don’t look at me like that. It was about four years ago, back when the Darkness just fell and people from all over were joinin’ the Glaive. Took it as a sort of daemon huntin’ gang rather than the king’s soldiers, but the name still stuck. Guess they expected the same recognition when the light returned.”

“But—”

“I ain’t accusin’ you, I’m just statin’ facts. Calm down.” He took another drink. “What’s goin’ on in Insomnia? Get me caught up before you head out.”

“Nothing much,” Rayne sighed, toying with her hair. “We took care of resistance groups in Gralia and Insomnia, but that’s about all. It’s been a lot of rebuilding with little payoff.”  _Gralia…_ Rue swallowed her pain, staring at the scuffed wooden floor.

“Just keep rememberin’ what’ll happen when it’s back to normal,” Cid reassured her. “I’m guessin’ yer knowledge don’t carry that far outside the city?”

“Not really, no.”

“I read somethin’ today,” he mused. “Article written by some girl about old camps she’s been findin’ around from the Darkness.” Rue’s heart began to race, but she told herself it was nothing. Camps wouldn’t be hard to find these days, especially with the heavens’ lights back on and the rebuilding coming along smoothly.

“I’m sure she finds plenty.”

“Me too. Thing is, she don’t write about the plain ones.” Cid adjusted his hat again, watching Rue shift uncomfortably. “Found a real unique one with cells and bones and all that. Must have been some sorta prison.” Rue’s head felt light, and for a moment, she thought she might faint. Her stomach churned angrily, and her face turned white, and then red, and then green. Cid eyed her curiously. “Yer friend’s not lookin’ too good.”

“Rue?” Rayne frowned, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rue stammered, shaking her head. Her fingers trembled when she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear and she gritted her teeth.  _It can’t be the same one._

“We should get going.” Rayne stood, pushing the ottoman back into place. Cid nodded. “Thanks for the lead.”

“Course. Tell His Majesty to get his ass over here and pay me a visit before it’s too late.”

“Of course,” Rayne nodded, the edge of a smile curling her lips. “Let’s go, Rue.”

Rue dizzily stumbled her way down the stairs, gulping fresh air down once they made it outside. Weak, she fell against the brick wall and wiped the sweat off her face. Rayne watched her with a frown, quickly dialing a number on her phone. Heart pounding and skin prickling with feverish goosebumps, Rue squeezed her eyes shut and fought the tears that threatened to spill over any second.  _It’s not the same one._

“Hey, listen.” Rayne leaned her back against the wall and looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. One hand buried itself in her pocket and the other pressed her phone to her ear. “We stopped by to see Cid and he told us where our guys are hiding. How hard would it be for you guys to come back to the Leville?” She paused, gnawing on her lip. Rue shuddered. “Okay. We’ll be there.” She hung up, heaved a sigh, and looked at Rue. “You okay?”

“… Yeah.” Rue swallowed the lump in her throat and met Rayne’s eyes. “You think they’ll need us for this?”

“I think Noct needs to address them, but  _someone_ has to go with.” Rayne’s eyes softened. “You want to head back to your room and lay down?”

“Kind of.”

“Let’s go.”

Rue didn’t remember the walk back by the time they entered the hotel. Her mind was jumping from memory to memory, trying desperately to remind her just how similar the descriptions sounded.  _But they can’t be the same._ She hardly noticed when Prompto greeted her, hurrying past and closing herself in her room. Thankfully, Ignis wasn’t there. Just to be sure, she locked the door and hurried to her bed.  _This is a bad idea,_ she warned, pulling out her phone and pulling up her search engine.  _It’s not the same._ She pursed her lips, taking a deep breath. Her fingers began to type the words.  _But I have to know for sure._

There it was. Suffocating on her shallow breaths, she crossed her legs and scrolled, her nausea growing with each picture that passed. The lines of makeshift cells, the piles of bones, the lanterns on the walls, the bloodstains. It was all there. It was all  _real._ Her stomach clenched; she could hardly see through her tears.  _It’s the same._ All those years she’d spent trying to forget, pretending that that part of her life never happened, all to come to this. She reached the end of the article where the author entered a request for knowledgeable people to respond and inform her on what happened in that cave.

Jaw clenched, Rue closed the page and fell back on the bed, shaking. Why was it that life felt the need to punch her in the gut when things started looking up? Sick, she curled up on her side and pulled Ignis’s pillow to her chest, crushing it with her trembling arms. The cold iron bars, the damp soil, the drowning tears, the pure agony. The memories went on and on and on, a never-ending stream of sorrow and reminders of the weakness she would never overcome. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No updates for the next two weeks! If you hear nothing, I am not dead, dw
> 
> I'll be on break next weekend and the following weekend is just before finals :P
> 
> See ya'll in a few weeks!


	58. About Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Cradles" by Sub Urban

"It was Libertus."

" _Libertus_  Libertus? Like, Nyx's Libertus?" Rayne asked, eyebrows raised to her hairline. Noctis nodded, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. "Never thought he'd lose his shit."

"That's the thing, though. He didn't." Noct turned his eyes to Ignis, who listened patiently. The king and Gladio left together to speak with the Glaives, who surprisingly turned out to be quiet apologetic and personable. "He and the rest of his Glaives went to Caem because they heard—very late—that we were there. The rest of his group was riled up by a few angry guys." He sighed, shaking his dark hair out of his eyes. "He's the one who brought Iris here."

"What do we do about them?" Prompto asked.

"I don't know," Noctis admitted. "I wanted to march in there and kill them all, but I guess it didn't work out that way."

"They get a pass because one guy decided to 'save' Iris after trying to kill her?" Rayne scoffed, crossing her arms. Noctis shook his head.

"No. They didn't understand why we denied them. Thought we were all stuck up and ungrateful. Gladio explained."

"I'm good with words," Gladio chucked. Rayne rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Just because you can read 'em doesn't mean you can speak 'em."

"So...?" Prompto pressed. Noctis sat up straighter.

"They're staying where they are. If they want to come try to impress Rayne, they can. If not, they need to back down and become hunters or something. Either, I think we're safe."

"That's good to hear," Ignis replied, touching his glasses. "How can you be certain they will honor that decision?"

"I trust Libertus."

"Does he want to come back?" Rayne asked. She almost sounded hopeful. Ignis couldn't blame her; it would be nice to have a few more familiar faces around. Noctis shook his head with a grim expression. 

"No. He just wants to go home."

"To Galahd?"

"Yeah."

"It's not there anymore, is it?"

"They've rebuilt," Ignis answered. "It's meager, but it's something." Noctis nodded, standing.

"Yeah." He stretched his arms over his head, thinking. "I'm going to bed. Are we heading back in the morning?"

"That's up to you," Gladio shrugged.

"... We are."

"Fine by me," Ignis nodded, heading for the door. "Goodnight, Majesty."

"Night, Specs."

Ignis headed down the hallway, his back aching from a long day of nothing but sitting around waiting for something to happen. His eyelids felt heavy and his limbs were like dead weight. The door didn't open when he turned the knob, snapping him out of his drowsy autopilot mode. Frowning, he pulled the key from his pocket and unlocked the door. Why had Rue locked it to begin with? Rayne said she wasn't feeling well, but certainly that meant she might appreciate help or at  _least_ company. Sighing, he shook his head and stepped inside, exhausted. Rue looked up from her phone, curled up under the covers.

"Finally," she muttered, putting the device on the side table. "I'm bored."

"You have my condolences," Ignis replied wryly, heading toward his suitcase. "We're headed back for the Crown City in the morning."

"We solved our pest problem?"

"Indeed we have." He glanced over at her, eyeing the tossed sheets. She didn't seem unwell, though it looked like she'd been sitting in bed for  _hours._ Pushing the thought away, he briefly explained what Noct just told them. She nodded, fluffing up her pillow as she listened.

"I hope they chill the hell out," she finally said, flopping back against the mattress and staring at the ceiling. There was an edge to her voice and something not quite calm in her eyes. Ignis frowned, carefully packing away his things.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Rayne said you went to bed feeling unwell," he answered, making direct eye contact. She turned away with a shrug. There it was again, that distant look in her eyes.  _But why won't she answer?_

"I think it was the air in Cid's house. Too stuffy."

Ignis nodded, though he didn't believe her. Finally, once he was satisfied with his work, he shut off the lights and laid down, feeling gravity pull his tired bones into the mattress as he sank down. Silence overtook them for a long time. Suspense hung in the air and he waited, sensing that she wanted to speak. She was suppressing something. Finally, she moved, but no words came out. Rue turned over and rested her head on his collarbone, stretching an arm across his stomach and pulling herself closer. She tucked her head under his chin and sighed, finally closing her eyes.

Ignis stared into the darkness for a minute longer. Why was she still there? He couldn't help but search for any reason at all for why she kept playing along with the idea he'd proposed unintentionally. Perhaps it was her need for validation—but she'd always seemed so distant. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, brow furrowed. Rue was looking for an answer to her problems, but he didn't have it. He knew he wasn't what she needed and yet... It seemed he just kept playing along, too.

~|~|~|~|~

"We all set?" Noctis asked, heaving his bag onto his shoulder and looking around at the people gathered in his room. Rayne looked  _exhausted,_ stifling a yawn and nodding.

"We should be. I can't think of anything we're missing."

"Okay. Let's head home, then."

"With our luck, it'll be burnt down," she grumbled.

"It was intact when we returned last," Ignis reminded her, gathering the room keys and following Noctis down the stairs.

Rue sighed, adjusting the weight of the bag on her back and looking around the walls once more. It was strange fighting the urge to commit this place to memory. Ever since the Fall, it was as if her mind couldn't quite understand that most times, cities aren't falling, and empires aren't vanquishing entire nations. Sometimes, places could be at a standstill.

Her mind raced with the news of yesterday, wrestling her desires. She knew what was bad for her and what was good, but she wanted the bad  _so_ terribly. Would it really be so horrible to get some closure? Rue followed the group through the town, ducking her head to hide her face as citizens took out their phones to snap photos of the king and his royal retinue. Gladio pushed a few people aside and Rayne snapped at a few irritating individuals that refused to back down. Finally, they reached the parking lot, where the people of Lestallum leaned over overhead railings to watch the group pack away their things. Rue's mind tossed her options back and forth, panicking.  _I have to decide._ Her body moved before her brain did, her hand reaching out and grasping Ignis's elbow.

"I need us to stop somewhere on the way back."

"Pardon?" Ignis frowned, looking past her to Gladio.

"It's important, Ignis." She pleaded with her eyes, desperate. Her heart pounded, filled with hope. "Please. Just have Prompto ride with the others." Ignis blinked at her, trying to understand what she was asking. "I'm serious," she gritted under her breath, watching the gunman laugh with Rayne. Noctis climbed into the back of Gladio's car.

"... We'll discuss this later." Ignis was clearly on edge with the crowd of people gathering, shooting a stern look to Prompto. "Prompto, go with them."

"What? Why?" Prompto whined. Rayne raised an eyebrow and Ignis shot her a meaningful look. The woman nodded and shoved Prompto's shoulder.

"C'mon, buddy. They need to talk."

Prompto gave in with a sigh and climbed in back with Noctis. Ignis nodded his thanks and they hurried to get into their vehicles. Rue took a deep breath, relieved. The car rumbled to life and Ignis followed Gladio out of the parking lot, brow furrowed and eyes glued to the road. Rue sank back into her seat, feeling her heart calm gradually. Once they hit an open stretch of road, Ignis sat back, relaxing. Silence enveloped the car for a long time before he finally spoke.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure." He frowned, glancing at her. "Did you see the article about that woman finding some cave full of prison cells?"

"Yes." He hesitated. "... Are we going there?"

"Yeah." Rue swallowed; her mouth suddenly felt dry.

"Might I ask why?" Ignis quickly passed a slow car that pulled between him and Gladio, waiting for an answer. Rue sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"... I'll get to it eventually."

"Why boot Prompto from the car?" he pressed. She took a deep breath, forcing a thin smile onto her lips.

"Same reason."

"You'll get to it?"

"Yeah."

"Hm."

"What, I can't just want to be with you?" she teased, reaching across the console and patting his knee. He raised an eyebrow, though he didn't look away from the road. Rue laughed, eyeing Gladio's car to see how much space was between them before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Ignis's cheek. "Thanks."

"You may want to let Rayne know we'll be dropping out at some point," he sighed, glancing down at the hand on his knee.

"I will."

"Eventually?"

"Stop it," she snickered, hitting his knee and pulling away to text Rayne. Her stomach twisted with nervous energy as her right knee bounced up and down.  _This is such a bad idea._ "It's in the desert southwest of Hammerhead. I'll find clues somewhere in those pictures."

"Please do. I doubt the car can handle much off-road adventure."

"Don't worry. I won't make you ruin your pretty hunk 'a junk," she muttered, pulling up the article.

Her gut twisted at the mere mention of the place and her skin broke out in a cold sweat.  _But I have to._ She quickly scrolled through the photos, sparing them a mere glance to save her heart the pain of the memories that threatened to suffocate her. Finally, something caught her attention.

"Here." She held her phone out toward Ignis, who forced himself to trust his instincts and spare the quickest of intermittent seconds to study the picture. Gladio's constant slowing and stopping was putting him on edge.

"I know where that is," he said finally, slamming on the breaks to avoid rear-ending Rayne's car.

Rue's palms hit the dashboard sharply to stop herself from hitting it with her face. A herd of towering anaks galloped across the road. Ignis stiffly leaned back in his seat, taking a deep breath. Rue pressed her lips together and watched the creatures pass before relaxing. Eventually, they got moving again.

"I apologize," Ignis murmured. She shook her head.

"Not your fault." She twisted around onto her side, pointing at him. "See, that's why I don't want to drive. I never would've hit my breaks on time."

"Not if you were just starting out, no." He glanced over at her. "You're fidgeting."

"Am I?" She sat up straighter, gnawing on her cheek. "Yeah, I am."

They said no more, settling into the silence. Ignis focused on the drive, trying to clear his mind. The anxious weight in the air had him on edge. Rue busied herself by counting the number of broken-down cars she saw. She grew sleepy, but she was afraid to close her eyes in case she saw the cave before she got there.  _Wouldn't want any spoilers, now would we?_ She rolled her eyes and rested her head against the window. Her phone vibrated. A text from Rayne.

_You're going on a hike?_

_No. There's something I need to take care of._

_Don't you get all cryptic on me. I get enough of that with Iggy as it is._

Rue slouched in her seat and took a deep breath in an effort to calm her nerves. It only made her chest ache more. She crossed her arms, bouncing her legs up and down. Her fingers drummed on her arms, trembling from her rush of adrenaline. Ignis adjusted his glasses, unable to distract himself from her incessant squirming. Rue knew she was starting to fray his nerves when he kept adjusting their placement on his face unnecessarily. Irritated with her inability to calm down and his constant poking and prodding, she snatched his hand from his face and clung to it, pressing it to her leg as she stared out the window. Her hand was clammy, but she didn't apologize.  _I have to do this._

Finally, Ignis turned away from the road, taking them down a narrow dirt path. Rue watched Gladio's car disappear, feeling her anxiety spike through the roof as the ground rumbled beneath them. Ignis pried his hand away from hers to better control the vehicle, eyes scanning the horizon for what they were searching for. Rue couldn't breathe, gritting her teeth until her jaw ached. Her nails dug into her skin to distract her from the pounding of her heart. Ignis eyed the small tears in her skin. The tension refused to leave his body as long as she refused to explain the situation.

"Here," she managed to say, her voice surprisingly calm.

Ignis obeyed, slowing to a stop. Her throat tightened when she caught sight of faded stone beyond the outline of the dilapidated house before them. She wanted to speak, but no sound came. She shook her head, reaching toward the door.

"We don't have to go," Ignis reminded her. She hesitated, but only for a moment.

" _I_ have to go."

"Rue..."

Rue pushed the door open, hurrying to stand. Her legs shook beneath her weight like a newborn anak's. Ignis sighed and followed suit, pushing his glasses up and scanning their surroundings. Taking a deep breath and searching for any landmarks she might recognize, Rue spotted a looming bounder and headed toward it. Red sand blew over its blunt ridges with a gust of hot, dry wind. Sweat prickled across her skin and she wasn't certain it was all the heat's fault. Raising her arms to shield her eyes from the sun, she hurried across the dusty ground to reach the rock. Her lungs screamed for air by the time she got there, and her hand stuck the firm surface, her fingertips tracing the stone and her heart burning under the blow of the nostalgia.

Ana's cries filled her ears and she shuddered, chilled to the bone. A hand rested on her shoulder and she jumped, looking back to see Alec staring down at her. She blinked and suddenly Alec was Ignis. His frown creased his brow, his eyes warm with concern. Rue pursed her lips, suppressed the images of the frightened girl's eyes, and pressed on, setting her gazed onto the invisible trail of dragging footsteps that led to a larger ridge of stone. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and pressed forward, protecting her face from the blowing sand. The mouth of the cave stood wide open, unhidden and unashamed of its secret. Her stomach churned, and for a moment, she tasted bile.

"This is it," she said. Her throat was so dry that her voice hardly raised over a whisper. Ignis didn't reply. Swallowing her inhibitions, she led the way inside.

Rue's eyes adjusted to the darkness slowly, but once they did, she felt sick all over again. Her head spun as she took in her surroundings. Everything was the same as in the photos—the same as it was before. She carefully stepped in deeper, swung the makeshift door open, and listened for the echo of its scrape against the stone floor. Ignis waited behind her patiently, though he seemed to be anticipating something lunging from the darkness.

Rue finally stepped inside, breathing in the musty air. The wood lining the cave walls rotted from the bottom up, stinking up the cavern. Unlit lightbulbs hung from their hooks on the walls, waiting to either shatter or erode to nothing. The memories were so overwhelming that she almost didn't realize there was a small pack of sabertusks headed her way until she saw the flash of Ignis's daggers soaring past her in the dark. Startled, she summoned her gun and squeezed off a few shots, staring down at the pile of animal bodies before her. Taking a deep breath, she glanced over her shoulder.

"Sharp shooting," she murmured finally.

"On your part as well," he uttered.

Rue turned on her phone's flashlight and hurried further in, a rush of memories overtaking her mind. Every scuff, step, and scurry echoed off the walls and penetrated their ears, bouncing around their skulls before finally fading. She shuddered at the sight of the iron bars that reflected the light. She came to a stop at the front of the room of cells, searching for any emotion her mind might give her. Aside from the horror of seeing the place again, she was surprisingly numb. Her shoulders slumped and she stared at the stain on the floorboards for a moment before turning back to Ignis.

"There. That's where she died."

Ignis's stomach tightened. He figured this had something to do with Ana, but the emptiness in her voice was far more jarring than seeing her burial site.

"Ana?" he asked, knowing full well he was right. Rue nodded, glancing back at the spot.

"Yeah." She tucked her hair behind her ear and hugged her arms to her body, wishing she could sit down  _anywhere._ The air was beginning to make her dizzy. Ignis touched his glasses habitually and his gaze fell to the ground as he wrestled for the right words to say. There were none.

"... What happened?"

Rue puffed a short, bitter laugh, turning her pale eyes in his direction. In the lighting, she looked ghostly.

"Buckle up, buddy. It's one hell of a ride."

_~3 years before~_

_Rue tossed a pebble at the wall and watched it skitter back, too tired to pick it up for the umpteenth time. Sighing, she looked across the pathway between the metal bars that caged her and met Alec's eyes. His face was swollen with bruises from the beatings of Carter's men, mainly results of him running his big mouth. He turned away sharply, unable to hold his head for long. She looked back at the wall, tracing her finger through the dirt slowly in some unknown pattern. Beside her, Ana slept, unsure of what else to do to pass the time. The soft rhythm of her breaths kept Rue's mind occupied._

_The shuffling down the hall wasn't unusual. It was the lack of rude pet names and crude language that drew Rue to the cell door. She was on her feet before she realized she had the strength to stand, her fingers grasping the cold, slimy bars before her. A man sprinted up to her door, fumbling with a key clumsily. Rue frowned, lowering her head to catch his eye; he looked up sharply. Dex's eyes were wide and his breaths ragged. Finally, the lock clicked and the door swung open with a low groan. Ana gripped Rue's hand before her mother could hiss a command and they rushed out, freeing Alec before running together down the passageway. It all happened so quickly that Rue didn't think to ask how he got in. She didn't have the energy._

_They turned a corner sharply and Dex forced them back into a deep shadow of the cave. Trembling and panting, the group of survivors watched one of Carter's men stroll past, distracted by the light of his phone. **The jerks still have battery...** Rue gritted her teeth and gripped Ana's hand tighter. Her other hand clutched Dex's elbow as they waited, paralyzed by fear. The guard passed by without a single upward glance. Alec breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to send Ana a reassuring smile. It disappeared when they heard the click of a gun, their hearts sinking._

_"What're you doin' outta your cages?"_

_Rue's mouth dried instantly at the sound of Carter's drawl. **This is the end.** She looked up to see him waiting expectantly, watching him cock the gun toward the hallway they just came from._

_"Bring them back to the hall."_

_"Please," she whimpered helplessly, trying to sink to her knees. One of the men grabbed her elbows, heaving her upright and dragging her. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks, but she didn't choke. She stared ahead at the dim lights, dreading the end. Ana followed, eyes wide and mouth shut tight._

_"Knew I shoulda tied up the loose ends," Carter muttered, eyeing the line of prisoners before him. Dex held clutched Rue's free hand, knuckles white as he gnawed on his lip. "Thought you'd slip in unnoticed, kid? My men saw you comin' miles away."_

_"I did what I could."_

_"What he could," Carter scoffed. His cold eyes scanned the crowd and his nose twitched when he snarled. "I'm done with this shit." He gestured toward them with the gun and they flinched. "Bring me the girl."_

_"No!" Rue shouted, hugging Rue to her body. "Please, take me instead," she pleaded, trying to touch the man's humanity as he gripped Ana's arm and dragged her away. Her chest constricting, Rue choked on her tears as Ana stumbled after him, dazed. "Please..." Dex watched in horror, unable to speak._

_"You went against my orders, plain and simple," Carter answered, shrugging. "Instead of serving your time, you tried to escape. Corner cutting learns you nothin'." He gripped Ana's arm and pulled her in front of him and pulled the safety off his gun._

_"Please..." Rue whispered._

_"Take me," Dex pleaded, stepping forward. "I'm the one who—"_

_"Shut it." Carter rolled his eyes and spit to the side. "Some punishments are worse than death." His eyes flitted to Alec half-second before he shot. Rue screamed as the boy fell to the ground, lifeless with a hole in his head. "Except for people like him. All they think about is themselves. Can't stand 'em."_

_Rue choked on air as she began to hyperventilate, dizzy. Ana flinched when the smoking barrel pressed to her temple, a tear trickling down her smooth skin. She shook like a leaf. Rue didn't know what to do, willing herself to wake up. Her fingernails dug into Dex's arm, but he didn't seem to notice._

_"But like I said, for we **humans** , there's somethin' worse than dyin'."_

_"Please..."_

_The final pop hardly hit her ears before Rue hit the ground screaming, wailing, trembling. She pounded on the floor, a horrific sound tearing through her throat in her anguish as she searched for any way to release this agonizing pain from her body. Nails clawed her pants until they lifted from their beds, teeth gnashed and tore her cheeks, lungs pushed out cry after cry until her mouth tasted like metal and no more sound would come. The fire that tore across her skin concealed the grip of the men as they dragged her back to her cell and stole Ana's things out of her reach. Her eyes didn't open as she collapsed to the ground once more, stomach squeezing to force out any sound it could as a fountain of tears poured down her face._

_The rattle of the gate hardly caught her ears when it opened hours later. A plate skidded across the floor, ringing loudly. The strong scent of burnt flesh caught her nose and she glanced down before uncertainly meeting the gaze of the man standing before her with a wicked smile on his lips._

_"What?" she croaked._

_"I thought you might want to be close to her again."_

_The words took a moment to register before she panicked and kicked the plate away, pressing herself up against the back wall. The man cackled, doubling over as the meat rolled across the hall, the plate shattering against the stone. Rue gagged, uncontrollably nauseous with nothing to expel. Done with his fun, he shut the gate and walked away, laughing. Raging, Rue leaped to her feet, rattling the bars and screaming with her raw throat._

_" **What the fuck is wrong with you?! What did you do to her?!"**_

_"Rue," Dex called, locked in Alec's old cell. "Rue, calm down. It's not her, he's just a dick."_

_But she couldn't hear him, kicking and punching and screaming at the bars. She threw herself against the wall, gripping the roots of her hair and pulling it out in handfuls. This carried on for weeks. Every day, someone brought her something to torment her with and she reacted like an animal, inconsolable and broken beyond repair. Her punishment was to relive Ana's death; Dex's was to watch her lose her mind and remember he caused this._

_Rue stared into empty space, her eyes long dried and her lips sealed shut. The halls were dead silent. The men evacuated days ago after Carter suddenly died from cardiac arrest—an unexpected turn on their part. Dex stood waiting at the doorway of her cell, gnawing on his cheek anxiously as he tried to convince her to leave, too. They were free, he said. They could go see the world._

_"I don't want it without her."_

_"I know, but we can't have her."_

_"I'm not going."_

_It took weeks of prodding. He brought her meals from scavenged cans, staring longingly down the passageway at the entrance. Some days, Rue ate. Most days she didn't. She couldn't decide if she wanted to live or to die, to carry on in a memory or give up. One day, Dex came running down the hall, skidding to a stop outside her cell, breathless._

_"Rue... The sun!"_

_Rue leaped to her feet and hurried after him on unsteady legs. He helped her up the rock face of the cave, staring in wonder at the horizon as a golden light pierced the night sky. Rue took a deep breath of the crisp morning air, overwhelmed at seeing the sun for the first time in three years. Her eyes flooded with tears and she choked on a sob, wishing with her whole being that Ana would appear to her right and lecture her about leaving her behind like that. Instead, she clung to Dex and he clung to her, a mix of joyful and mourning tears shared between them. The Dawn came steadily, as they knew it might someday. Rue sniffed and scrubbed at her face, realizing that life would yet again be turned on its head. **I have to do it.** For her. She laid her head on Dex's shoulder.  **For Ana**._

 


	59. A Circle and a Half

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Stone Cold" by Demi Lovato

Rue adjusted her wrist guard anxiously, twisting it until it pulled tightly against her skin and burned. The glaives filtered one by one into the gym, yet again locked outside the doors to await their fates. Rayne tested them less than a week before—it seemed she was dissatisfied with them all. This time, she intended on testing Rue. Relir jammed her elbow into Rue’s ribs, jerking her head toward the next young man to filter inside.

“Think she’ll save you for last again?”

“Probably.” Rue sighed, falling back against the wall. Her stomach twisted anxiously. “What if I haven’t made enough progress? Think she’ll give me the boot?”

“Rayne? The woman adores you; you’ve got nothing to worry about. At this point, we’re all just scared of getting yelled at.” Relir ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. “No one’s getting kicked anytime soon, sadly.”

“Sadly?” Rue raised an eyebrow. “Got a new source of hatred?”

“Maybe.” Relir fell against the wall and jerked her head to the right. “The guy at the end of the hall, the one who looks eighty-three years old from here.”

“Him?” Rue frowned, narrowing her eyes in an attempt to see him better. “What’s wrong with him? I don’t even recognize him.”

“He just got back from Gralia,” Relir muttered, kicking at the smooth floor. “Does nothin’ but write all damn day. Doesn’t seem affected by what he saw.” She paused, brows furrowed in frustration. “It’s just… Either Eren exaggerated what’s going on there or this guy’s fucked in the head.” Rue’s heart skipped a beat and her lips pursed. The mention of his name sent a lurch of pain through her chest. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Rue sighed, glancing back down the hall at the young man. “Maybe it’s just really different there now.”

“He was there with Eren,” Relir insisted. Rue shook her head.

“Just… drop it.”

“… Fine.”

Relir fell back against the wall, crossing her arms. Her uniform pulled snugly against her skin, tracing the curves of the muscle she’d worked so diligently to build in her time at the Citadel. Rue tore her eyes away and sank down to the floor, tired. Their emergency trip to Lestallum was draining enough, but the visit to the cave sucked all the life from her bones. Wonder if Ignis is sick of my moping yet. Huffing, she knocked her head against the smooth wall. I hope so. Maybe he’ll snap me out of it. She couldn't stop feeling the grimy walls and seeing the deep, deep darkness that swallowed her whole a mere two years ago. 

“Relir, you’re up,” Gracen called down the hall, flashing a grin and knocking his writ against Axel’s.

“Wish me luck,” Relir grumbled, ruffling Rue’s hair as she passed by. Rue batted her hand away, rolling her eyes.

“You’ll be fine.”

The hall steadily emptied as, one by one, Rayne turned sweaty soldiers out only to steal another away. Rue picked at her boots, knowing full well she was saved for last for a reason. Please just talk this time. Her heart squeezed when the last person left her alone. Something told her this wouldn’t result in a deep discussion about family drama. Finally, the doors swung open and the young man Relir pointed out previously peered out at her.

“Need I remind you?” he asked, deadpan. Rue sighed and stood, brushing off her clothes.

“Thanks.”

He didn’t reply. Shrugging his coldness off, Rue headed inside the open room. Rayne waited in the center of the room, skin slick with sweat and cheeks bright red. She whipped her long hair out of her cold eyes and watched her challenger enter. Rue swallowed her fear as best as she could, but it only doubled in force when the thud of the doors closing sealed her fate. It's just Rayne. Anxious, Rue waited. Rayne eyed her, arching an eyebrow.

“You plan on going naturalistic?”

“What’s that mean?” Rue frowned, uncertain how to feel about this side of her friend—the one that drove their hatred for each other to begin with.

“Where’s your weapon, shithead?”

“Oh.” Rue summoned her sword, feeling the weight settle in her hand. “Are we—”

Before she could finish her sentence, Rayne dashed at her. Startled, Rue ducked under a wild swing and rolled away, quickly raising her sword to block the overhead strike. Rayne stepped back, lively as ever, only to run back at her. Rue struggled to keep up, but it was significantly less difficult than it was weeks before. Sadly, her surprised pride left her vulnerable. Rayne kicked her to the floor mercilessly, slashing across her forehead with the tip of her blade. Rue didn’t feel the cut, pushing back and rolling up to her feet.

Rayne’s gunblade rippled with flames, leaving black stripes along the floor where the fire licked at the boards. Rue ducked under another slash, ramming her elbow into the back of Rayne’s knee t force her to falter. There was no fooling the warrior; Rayne scoffed and the butt of her sword smacked the back of Rue’s skull without warning. Crying out, Rue stumbled to her feet, prepared to fight back, but the force of Rayne’s charge throttled her to the floor and onto her back. Dizzily, she stared up at the soldier. The heat of the blade prickled sweat up across her skin from where it hovered over her throat. Rayne’s chest rose and fell steadily, the product of a well-fought battle, but she looked anything but impressed. Rue’s heart sank.

“Get up,” Rayne gritted. Her gunblade shattered into a thousand sparks and the heat went with it. Shakily, Rue stood, rubbing the back of her neck uncomfortably.

“Didn’t go easy on me,” Rue teased, laughing awkwardly.

“Rue, that’s the effort I give in the first fight after entrance,” Rayne huffed pinching the bridge of her nose. “You could hardly even handle a basic skills test.” She shook her head, letting her hand fall to her hip before it finally landed at her side. She didn’t look at Rue as she headed toward the doors.

“What…?” Rue’s brow furrowed. “No, that’s better than I’ve been doing!” She chased Rayne outside. The man from before glanced up from the book in his hand and she stumbled over her words, trying to recover. “I’ve improved!”

“Not enough,” Rayne snapped, turning to face her. “Listen; I kept my part of the bargain. It’s time you uphold yours.”

“I’m trying—”

“Not hard enough.” Rayne shook her head, crossing her arms and letting her eyes wander down the hallway. “You gotta get a new routine because clearly this isn’t working. I can’t have a useless glaive on my team just because I made a naïve promise.”

“I’m not useless,” Rue muttered, shoulders slouching with the weight of her realization. Why am I always so far behind?

“No, you’re not.” Rayne sighed, moving her hands to her hips restlessly. “But I feel like you’re starting to backtrack.”

“I’m not. I just… These past weeks have been a nightmare,” Rue admitted, running her hand through her hair. Rayne finally met her eyes as she gnawed on her lip.

“If you need more time to recover from Eren, go ahead and take it. I’m serious.”

“Rayne, I’m fine. It’s not him.” Rue’s chest constricted at the sound of his name. Gods, will that ever stop?

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Why do you give a shit, anyway? Not like you weren’t the one who sent him.”

“First of all, that’s fuckin’ cold,” Rayne snapped. “I just don’t want it to stay an open wound for the rest of time, that’s all.”

“… Because of Wyn?”

“I wasn’t given the opportunity to recover because I wasn’t supposed to give a damn.” Rayne glanced down at her boots and she lowered her voice so only Rue could hear. “Never healed. It’s hard to make yourself forget someone you love like that.”

“I didn’t love him.”

“Pretending to love someone is basically the same thing,” Rayne shrugged, dismissive. “Besides, you did. Just not in the gross, mushy-gushy way.”

“… Maybe.” Stop confusing my poor impressionable heart. “I don’t need more time, though. I swear. I’m doing okay.”

“Okay.” Rayne looked past her to the young man. “What did I tell you, Sanchez? You gonna keep your nose in the book or are you gonna obey orders?” He looked up slowly, his eyes daring Rayne to berate him further. The book closed and he tucked it deep into the pocket of his uniform. “Bedtime stories don’t make good soldiers.” Rayne looked back at Rue. “Get your ass in the gym and eat for fuck's sake.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rue sighed, watching Rayne go.

The instant Rayne turned the corner, Sanchez shook his head and sank back against the wall, pulling his book back out. Rue gnawed her cheek nervously. Just head up to Iggy’s office and see how he’s doing. Didn’t see him at all yesterday… She stopped herself there. No, that’s the old Rue. New Rue is interesting, and friendly, and… Rue swallowed, grimacing. Outgoing? Never.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded and walked back toward the young man, cocking her head to the side. He ignored her, blue eyes flitting over the lines on the page quickly and absorbing every word. Pursing her lips together, she ducked her head down, attempting to catch his attention. After a moment, he sighed and glanced up, but he said nothing.

“She chew you out, too?” Rue asked, trying to sound lighthearted.

“… Something like that.” His eyebrow twitched upward when she fell against the wall to his right. “I doubt for the same reasons.”

“Try me.” Rue arched a brow. “I’m a useless, backtracking disappointment.”

“I single-handedly ruined a nationwide peace-seeking endeavor because I can’t run faster than a train.”

“Shit.” Rue frowned. “Wait, Gralia’s—”

“No.” He paused, glancing over the open pages of his book. “Gralia is fine. Rayne is dramatic.”

“Yeah, she is,” she scoffed, shaking her head. “What’s your name?”

“Arius Sanchez,” he answered reluctantly.

“Rue Corden.”

“I know who you are,” he retorted. She paused, taken aback. “Bootlicker to the King from what I hear. Found your way here through unorthodox methods.” Her heart sank to her stomach.

“And you’re one of the ones that hates me.”

“… No.” Arius shook his head and reluctantly closed the book, giving in to the conversation. “Just things I’ve heard.”

“Well, for your information, I’ve been through hell and back to get here.” Rue rolled her eyes picking at her cuticles. “A different hell than yours, but hell all the same.”

“What’s the difference matter as long as there’s suffering,” he muttered.

“Exactly.” She kicked at the floor, anxiously searching for conversation topics. Gritting her teeth, she bore the ache in her chest. “I heard you were in Gralia.”

“Yes.” Arius raise an eyebrow, glancing over at her. “Eren?”

“Yeah.” Rue’s voice hardly carried more than a whisper. “Was he okay?”

“He was fine.” He sighed, turning away from her. There was more than coldness in his eyes, she realized. Is this guy stuck up or just quiet?

“The hospital—”

“He fought for you. His only chance of returning to Insomnia was to bring down enemy lines.” Arius spoke firmly, but Rue watched the color of his face shift and the goosebumps that prickled up along his collar. He was there. “We stood by him, though not for the same reasons.”

“Why didn’t they bring you back?”

“They didn’t need me here.”

“Simple as that?”

“Or Rayne has a vendetta against me.”

“For what?”

“Can’t say I know.”

"Isn’t that always how it goes?” Rue slumped against the wall and crossed her arms. “This world is shit.” Arius grunted in response, flipped through the pages of his book absently. “You from around here?”

“If you’re trying to make a friend, you best find one elsewhere,” he snapped. Rue started, frowning. What’d I say? Prompto passed by quickly, flashing a small smile and waving when Rue smiled back. Arius watched him go, scowling faintly. Why does everyone here hate me?

“Fine, I’ll start.” Not this time.

“I—”

“I grew up in the poor-people sector of town. I never knew my mother and my father was too busy dicking around with prostitutes to give a damn about me.” Rue jammed her hands into her pockets and shrugged. “I worked at a gas station until I got married. Then the Fall and all that BS… Now here I am.” She looked up at him; something in her eyes shone with determination only the strongest of wills could defy. “Your turn.” Arius sighed, shaking his head, his silver hair swaying along before his eyes.

“Fine.” He turned, pressing his shoulder to the wall and tightly crossing his arms. His eyes wandered about the hall as he spoke, refusing to meet hers in surrender. “I was born outside of Insomnia, but my parents died fighting off the Imperials. I moved into the city to live with my grandmother.” He shrugged one shoulder. “She passed soon after. I picked up writing in an editorial group until I was pushed out by the people who didn’t like my success. Then the Fall.” He finally met her eyes. “That’s all.”

“How’d you wind up here?”

“You first.”

“Okay,” Rue huffed, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “I came back to the city after the Dawn and picked up some more questionable lines of work to pay for a place to live. Joined the Glaive training when it was advertised, demoted myself to guard duty, demoted myself to secretary, and somehow made it back here. Full circle.”

“Interesting.” Arius pursed his lips, watching her feign indifference. Rue could feel him analyzing her. I’m getting really bad at hiding my shit. “I joined the Kingsglaive shortly after the Fall, but I found little satisfaction. A man that accompanied us on certain tasks piqued my interest, we bonded, and then I left the Glaive to train under him.” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “He disappeared after the Dawn and I returned to Insomnia. I saw the listing and joined the Glaive with my new training. I suppose I’d call that a half circle.” Rue scoffed, smiling.

“I’ll take it.”

An uncomfortable silence rose between them. Her heart skipped a beat when her head dared to compare Arius to Eren. The similarities were certainly difficult to dispute, but it wasn’t quite the same. Isn't it? No, not every guy is Eren, Rue. 

“Anyway, um, I have to go, uh, meet with someone,” she stammered, straightening and adjusting her jacket. “See you around, Arius.” Abruptly, she turned on her heels and strode down the hall. The blood in her veins froze upon hearing him call after her.

“Rue.” She turned back and he looked at the floor, embarrassed that he’d shouted after this woman he hardly knew.

“What’s up?”

“…” He jerked his head back up, stiff and cold as ever. “It’s Ari.”

“Ari,” Rue repeated, nodding. “Okay. See you, Ari.”

Shaking her head, she hurried around the corner and breathed a sigh of relief. What a character she chose to involve herself with. She scoffed. Doesn’t it always wind up that way? I get desperate to prove what I’ve got and I wind up mixing with the weirdest people. Her shoulders shrugged and she slowly headed up the stairs. At least he was nice.

“Come in.”

“You got a minute?” Rue asked, poking her head into Ignis’s office. Gladio slouched against the wall, arching an eyebrow when he saw the glaive. The expression was friendly despite his intimidating appearance.

“Come in.” Ignis pressed a finger to his glasses and looked back up at Gladio. “I understand, but there are no records to prove this ever occurred.”

“Look harder,” Gladio shrugged, smiling smugly. “It happened.”

“What did?” Rue frowned, closing the door behind her and heading toward her chair.

“Gladio’s insisting he broke a record for time on running here at the Citadel,” Ignis replied, turning toward his computer to type something in. “Fifteen years ago.”

“And no one’s broken it in fifteen years?” Rue asked sarcastically, leaning back to look up at Gladio. “Come on, dude. Unrealistic expectations.”

“Five miles in twenty-seven minutes,” Gladio stated proudly.

“That didn’t happen,” Rue huffed, shooting a pointed look at Ignis. He was too concentrated on his computer to notice. Gladio shrugged. “You? You’re a giant.”

“Wasn’t when I was fifteen.”

“He wasn’t,” Ignis muttered. He glanced up at his friend. “There’s nothing there still. Top rank still goes to Arma.”

“Arma Callen?” Rue repeated. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.”

“He used magic,” Gladio huffed.

“Not that’s recorded, no.” Ignis touched his glasses and allowed a slight smile. “I’m afraid you’ve been dethroned.”

“I don’t believe it,” Gladio replied stubbornly. He straightened and glanced down at Rue. “Gotta go kick some grunts in the ass before Rayne finds out I haven’t trained 'em yet.”

“Haven’t they been here a while…?” Rue asked, frowning. He shrugged a shoulder on his way out the door.

“They don’t need months of hard practice to do a good job.”

“But—”

The door and Rue’s mouth snapped shut. Ignis sighed and shook his head, pushing his desk drawer shut and touching his glasses once more. His look at Rue was pointed, expectant.

“What did you need?”

“I just wanted to say ‘hi,’” Rue shrugged, crossing her legs. “That okay or are you busy?”

“No, that’s alright.”

“Cool.” Rue tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled sheepishly. “I, uh, didn’t see you yesterday.”

“A tragedy,” Ignis murmured, flipping through his notebook. He shut it abruptly and looked up at her expectantly.

“It really is.” She sighed, picking at her sleeves. Ignis eyed her a moment. “We should do something.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno. Something.” She straightened, suddenly restless. “We’re all getting dinner tomorrow night and I have something with Relir Saturday, so we should do something tonight.”

“That’s no more specific than before.”

“I’m down for anything.” A cheesy grin spread across her lips and she put on a mocking voice. “As long as I’m with you.”

“Don’t do that,” Ignis huffed, though he clearly wrestled a smile when he glanced down at the cover of his notebook. Rue rolled her eyes and sunk back into the chair, slouching.

“I don’t know. I’m not creative. I just want to go home and sleep.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because…” Rue glanced up from her nails, wrestling a sheepish smile. “Did you forget the part where I want to see you?”

“You’ve seen me.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Quite the assumption to make,” Ignis remarked, standing and straightening his jacket. “I hardly ever know what you mean—I doubt you know, either.”

“Whatever.” Rue stood, uncertain. “Where are you going?”

“To Noct.” He slipped past to get to the door. “Have you already forgotten my real job?”

“It wouldn’t be hard to,” Rue muttered. She hurried after him, pressing a hand to the door to catch him before he left. “Come back to my place after work.”

“… You get bolder every day.”

“Oh, shut up. Get your head out of the gutter, Ignis. I meant it when I said I just want to sleep.” Ignis raised an eyebrow smugly and she rolled her eyes yet again, shoving her palm into his chest. A burst of butterflies fluttered about in her stomach. “Please?”

“We’ll see,” he muttered, trying for the doorknob again. Rue blocked him with her hip.

“Good enough.” Energized by her newfound bravery, she stood on her toes and kissed away his irritated frown. “Didn’t want the door open before that, did you?” she asked with a wink.

Ignis shook his head and his lips parted as he took a breath to speak, but he hesitated. Something in his eyes shifted with realization and Rue’s heart sank. What is it? The advisor cleared his throat and he shifted away from his warm demeanor as if he’d merely slipped another mask on.

“I apologize, but I’m unavailable this evening.”

“What? Why?” Rue frowned. “Did you just decide this?”

“No, of course not.” Ignis’s brows pinched together. “I told Rayne I would speak with her tonight.”

“And that’ll take all night?”

“You know she likes to talk.”

“Ignis, that doesn’t mean—”

“Rue, I can’t.”

“… Fine.” Rue huffed and stepped back, hugging her arms to her body. Her demeanor was cold, but her face couldn’t hide the pain that stung her heart. Her gaze fell to the smooth floor and her mind raced. That’s what this is? You can’t just say you’re sick of me? Ignis sighed, glancing at the door once more before drawing his hand away from the cold doorknob.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean fine. Go ahead.” Rue gestured toward the door sharply, avoiding his eyes. “Do your job.”

“Rue, don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Be like this.”

“Be like what, Ignis?” she demanded, glowering up at him. I'm being dramatic. He struggled to grasp any reason for her to be so upset, unable to find a semi-solid excuse. Growing increasingly tense, Ignis heaved a sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Have fun with her,” Rue grumbled, reaching for the doorknob. Or maybe I'm not. Ignis stood in her way this time. His face told her he wasn’t taking her nonsense. “What?”

“Why are you angry?”

“I’m not angry,” she huffed, stepping away from him defensively. “Are you?”

“Rue.” Impatient, Ignis touched his glasses and scowled down at her. “You’re being ridiculous. Stop.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She tried to reach around him. “Let me out!” She demanded, grabbing his arm to wrestle him away. He didn’t budge. Frustrated, Rue stomped like an insolent toddler and she clenched her teeth.

“I don’t understand,” Ignis explained, slowing his words to avoid showing his annoyance. “I already told Rayne I would—”

“Just fucking say it!”

Ignis started, watching Rue turn her back to him and tug at the roots of her hair, shuddering. Nauseating fear overtook her entire body as her lungs gulped down air she didn’t need. He wished he could ease her anger, but he wasn’t quite sure what had her so worked up. Rue paced, the sound her choked sobs searing their marks on his heart. Swallowing his confusion, Ignis spoke.

“Rue, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“No?” She scrubbed her face, bubbling with the raging pain of betrayal when she turned to look at him. “Fine, I’ll explain.” Her feet carried her back to the door, her toes lifting her into his face. “Just say you’re done with me. Don’t make excuses, don’t lie, just say it.” Ignis’s heart picked up the pace, burning. Her finger jabbed into his chest. “You’re done with me. Say it.”

“I’m not,” Ignis insisted, bewildered at her accusations. His words didn’t reach Rue’s ears before she started shaking her head. Her fingers gripped his shirt, jerking him forward.

“I’m done with this shit. I’m tired of being used.” Her anger began to sink into her sadness as tears welled back up in her eyes and she stumbled over her words. “I’m so lonely and I don’t know why.” She shook her head. “Why do people use me?”

“I would never—”

“Shut up!”

“Stop interrupting me,” Ignis bit back, hands gripping her elbows and prying her off him. “I haven’t used you, Rue, and I certainly don’t plan on ending this so soon. All I need is a night with a friend. Is that so hard to ask?”

“One night, huh?” Rue retorted, tears streaking down her reddened cheeks. She became eerily calm, glaring up at him. “Didn’t know you made a habit of sleeping with all your coworkers, Iggy.”

Normally, guilt and shame would overcome her. This time, Rue couldn’t feel anything but spite. She wanted to make him angry, see him lose his composure and shout at her and throw her out. Anything to give her a reason to feel this overwhelming panic. She thought she’d get it for a moment. His face contorted with offended fury, twisting far, far away from the collected expression she knew. In one fell swoop, she'd trashed the trust he'd so easily granted her. Despite himself, he took a sharp turn into the same coldness that had captured her.

“Only the desperate ones.”

Rue’s mind took a second to catch up, but once it did, she drowned in unexplainable anguish, racing through a thousand emotions—none of them pleasant. Gritting her teeth, she watched his humanity take over, felt his hands loosen their grip. Ignis, in horror, took a step back, but it was too late.

“Rue, I didn’t—"

His words were cut short when the back of her thin hand struck him across the face, fueled by the adrenaline that rushed through her veins. Rue’s lips curled with hatred and her eyes burned from the tears. He knew it was coming before she reacted, but he didn’t move—he deserved it.

“Fuck you.” Rue tried to wrestle her way past him, but Ignis refused to let her leave without repairing the damage. He pressed his shoulder to the door, blocking her only way out.

“Rue—”

“Get out of my way!”

Rue shoved him as hard as she could. Ignis stumbled not from the force of the push, but from the weight of his realization. He’d effectively ruined everything in a matter of minutes. Without a second thought, the glaive rushed on into the hallway, choking on her tears and blindly running anywhere she could suffer alone.

Gladio paused halfway through closing his door, watching her go with a concerned frown. Leaning out to see if anyone else saw, he briskly headed to Ignis’s office. The advisor stood near the doorway, eyes flitting about the ground. The shield winced upon seeing an angry red mark spreading across Ignis’s cheek.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Ignis replied curtly, looking down the hallway to see where Rue had gone. Gladio blocked his view, shouldering his way into the office. The advisor’s heart sunk further, if that was even possible. His insides felt like they were trembling. “Gladio—”

“Heard yelling.” Gladio crossed his arms, leaning against the bookshelf and raising an eyebrow. “Iggy, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Ignis smoothed his shirt and headed back toward his desk. His legs felt like gelatin.

“Rue doesn’t yell about nothing.”

“That’s debatable,” Ignis muttered, falling into his seat with a sigh. “Was there anything else you needed?”

“C’mon, Iggy, don’t go shutting down on me.”

“I’m not, and frankly, it’s none of your business,” Ignis snapped.

Gladio sighed, shrugging and heading toward the door. Ignis’s lips were sealed.

“Alright, well, I’ll leave you to it. Good luck.”

“Goodbye,” Ignis grumbled, waiting for the door to close before leaning forward and rubbing his face with his hands. How could she turn so quickly? Hadn’t he proven himself trustworthy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks and creds to the creator of our new pal Ari, ChaosBreaker13. Super fun dude to write, thanks for letting me use him :D


	60. Bad Luck Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If We Have Each Other" by Alec Benjamin (my current obsession)

Rue shivered, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders. Honey stood, batting at her face and jumping off the couch. The television played at low volume, filling the space, but Rue wasn’t paying attention. Her chest was tight and achy, and her breaths grew alarmingly fast if she didn’t concentrate on the pace. Everything inside tried to redirect her to the consequences of her actions.  _I messed up._  Her skin prickled with goosebumps and her fingers were ice-cold—numb. Honey padded back toward the couch, rubbing her face along the soft cushions before disappearing again. Rue sighed, clutching the blanket at her chest so it hung like a cape.  _She’s hungry._

She headed to the laundry room and pulled down the container of dry food, listening to its rattle as she walked to the kitchen. Honey chased her, her steps light on her soft paws. Quickly, Rue filled the cat’s bowl and set it on the floor across the room, ushering her off the counter. Lost with nothing to do yet again, she leaned back against the smooth counter, watching her pet devour her dinner.

Rue almost settled into a peaceful zone of half-unconsciousness, slouching and hanging her head. The pounding on the door jerked her from the silence. Honey jumped, her fur standing on end. Rue’s heart pounded as she stood in stupid confusion; quickly, she got herself together and strode toward the door, dropping her blanket onto the smooth floor. Her heart stopped in her chest.

“What the hell…” she huffed, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

She was overcome with guilt upon seeing his face as he waited for her to answer.  _I can’t do this now…_ She squared her shoulders and rubbed her face.  _I have to._ Honey scurried to the other room when Rue pulled the door open, greeting Ignis with an empty expression.

“I thought you had a meeting.”

“She canceled,” Ignis replied, trying to read her.

“That’s too bad.”

“Rue, I wanted to speak with you—”

“I can’t do this right now,” Rue interrupted, swinging the door shut. It stopped short and she scowled down at his foot. “Ignis, seriously.”

“Yes, seriously,” he retorted, shooting her a stern look. “I want to understand—”

“I said I can’t do this now.”

“… Alright.”

For a moment, she thought he’d drop it and leave her alone to wallow in her misery. However, Ignis wasn’t one to waste his time, and he certainly wasn’t about to let her blame herself for another mistake on the part of her momentary panic. Rue was too alarmed to push back when he shoved the door back and stepped inside. She stumbled backward, paralyzed as muscle memory screamed for her to run. Ignis closed the door behind him calmly, though he felt anything but calm. Rue’s eyes were wide, watching his every move.

“Rue, listen to me.”

“What are you doing?” she demanded when he came closer. He paused, brows creased.

“I need to understand,” he repeated. “Why are you running?”

“I’m not,” she answered weakly, heart pounding in her chest. Ignis drew nearer and she stumbled away, tripping over her blanket. “Stop!”

“Stop  _what_?” Ignis snapped, beyond frustrated.

“ _Get out!”_

“Rue—”

“ _Go!”_ She pointed a trembling finger at the door, unable to steady her breathing. She could tell Ignis was wrestling with his thoughts, but she wasn’t quite sure which ones. Her legs hardly had the chance to move before he’d lunged and grabbed hold of her arms. He saw her urge to run rise before she did. She thrashed like an animal, feeling hot streaks run cold across her face, dripping onto her chest. Ignis held fast.

“Rue!”

“Let me go,” she pleaded, staring up at him through bleary eyes. He frowned, his chest aching.

“What are you so afraid of?” he asked earnestly, trying to see past the walls in her eyes. She glanced toward the floor, pained.

“I just… don’t want it to end like all the others.” She choked on the air, shaking. “I don’t want to hate you.” Ignis frowned.

“It’s been one day since—”

“It’s not that,” she sniffed, shaking her head. She finally looked back up at him, finally calming down when she realized he wasn’t going to throttle her across the house. “I know, it looks stupid and clingy. I know that.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, relaxing her hands from the fists they’d become. “I just want to know when it’s coming.”

“It?”

“When… You’re done with me.” Her gaze fell once more. “I don’t want to think about—”

“Rue, I’m not  _done_ with you,” Ignis broke in, trying to catch her eye. “I’m not  _using_ you. What I said in the Citadel was horrid, but I didn’t—”

“I made you angry, it’s fine,” she muttered, stopping him before he could apologize. 

“… Why don’t you trust me, then?”

“I do.” She rushed to defend herself, snapping her head up to scowl at him. “I do, I just—” Shaking her head, she sighed. “Ignis, I haven’t been  _this_ close to someone in a  _very_ long time. I can’t even begin to explain how different this is from me and Eren. You can't fix me like everything else in your life and it’s hard…” She let out a short, sarcastic laugh. “I mean,  _seriously,_ I murdered the last guy I…  _let in_.” Ignis sighed and she allowed a brief smile before reaching up and pinching at his shoulders. “Dude, relax. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I should’ve been more understanding.”

“How could you be?” she countered, cocking her head to the side. “You can’t know  _everything,_ Ignis.”

“I can try.”

“Yeah, I guess you could.” She forced a smile. “That’d make you considerably less interesting, though.”

“You call this interesting?” he countered. She shrugged.

“Maybe. Adds a little flavor to the relationship.” She lowered her voice, her heart skipping a beat. “… Is that what this is?”

“Technically, yes.”

“Technically, I’m in a relationship with Rayne.”

“Yes, you are.”

“And so are you.”

“Stop,” he huffed, quickly catching on to her train of thought. Laughing, she stood on her toes and planted a kiss on his lips.

“… Feeling better?”

“Incredibly.”

“Me too.”

She kissed him again, pulling away to hug him tightly. She tucked her head under his chin and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the overwhelming guilt that threatened to choke her. Her fingers twisted around the material of his jacket and she squeezed him tighter, trying to memorize the feeling before he slipped away. Terrified, Rue swallowed her fear and spoke quietly.

“Hey, Iggy?”

“What is it?” Ignis tried to pull away to see her face, but she refused to let go. “Rue?”

“I need you to promise me something.”

“… What’s that?” he asked, filled with dread. Rue paused a mere moment before letting the words flow out.

“I need you to promise me that you’ll say when you stop loving me.”

Rue winced upon hearing herself speak. She didn’t think it would come out like that. The words held a thousand implications, burdens, and assumptions; Ignis couldn’t help but weigh them all, his jaw working as his heart thudded against his chest. The sound echoed through Rue’s head as she waited, afraid of his answer.

“Rue, why are you thinking about—”

“Please, Iggy. Just promise me.”

The advisor took a breath that wasn’t meant to shudder through his body as much as it did. Finally, he nodded once, breaking the silence.

“I promise.”

“Thank you.” She stepped away reluctantly, scrubbing the tears from her cheeks and taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“And I apologize for invading your home,” Ignis replied, looking around at the stacks of dishes on the counters and the laundry that piled up in the room in the hallway. Clearing his throat, he bent down and picked up the ragged blanket that laid between them, handing it over. Rue took it with a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, it’s a mess.”

“Don’t return to the apology cycle.”

“Okay,” she sighed. “You really don’t have anywhere to be?” He shook his head. “What happened with Rayne?”

“I told her I had something to address.”

“What?” Rue frowned. “You didn’t have to cancel just because I was being a—”

“But I did,” Ignis cut in, pressing a finger to his glasses. Rue huffed, rolling her eyes, but she couldn’t resist the smile that spread across her face.

“Well, let’s not waste time, then.” She grabbed his wrist and dragging him to the couch, pulling her blanket up to her chin and curling up against his side. “Sorry, I’m too lazy to turn the lights off.”

“Rue.”

“Right, apology cycle. I’ll stop.”

She felt his scoff more than she heard it, unable to fight her grin when she felt him kiss the top of her head.  _Thanks for putting up with me._

~|~|~|~|~

“Howdy,” Rue greeted, heading into Ignis’s office for the third time that day. The advisor spared her a glance before turning back to his computer.

“Did Rayne hire you to bother me?”

“What _ever_ ,” she huffed, gesturing for Prompto to follow her into the room. “Gladio wants to know if you plan on holding us up all night.”

“I have work to—”

“And Noct said you could leave it,” Prompto reminded him, resting his elbow on Rue’s shoulder. She rolled her eyes.

“Dude, your pits stink.”

“I might’ve forgotten to take care of that this morning,” he shrugged. She frowned.

“ _Ew?_ ”

“Nah, it’s not that bad,” he teased, raising his arm higher. Rue scoffed, shoving him away.

“C’mon, Iggy. Let’s go,” she urged, heading toward his desk. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the wood and pleading with her eyes. Ignis raised an eyebrow, making a point not to look down to where her shirt hung low enough for him to see the floor on the other side. “We’re gonna be late.”

“… Are you done flashing me?” he muttered. His voice was so quiet that Rue could hardly understand him, but once she did, she grinned.

“Are you done admiring?”

“You don’t want to hear the answer.”

Ignis stood and straightened his jacket. She scoffed, standing straight. Prompto raised an eyebrow at their murmuring, somehow reminded of Rayne and Gladio.  _Weird,_ he thought to himself, shaking his head. It was probably nothing. Whatever Rue said, it got Ignis moving, and that’s all that mattered.

Rue shot Ignis a smug smile before turning back to Prompto.

“Ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready all day,” he retorted, grinning. “You guys are  _slow._ ”

“Hey, I’m not the one who’s still working at five on a Friday,” Rue defended, crossing her arms.

She didn’t miss the look Ignis shot her from the corner of his eye, feeling a boost of excitement from their lack of concealment in front of their friend who, as far as she knew, was far from knowing the truth. To the rest of the world, Rue and Ignis were just close friends drawn together by the forces of fate and the consequences of circumstance. Nothing close to romantic. She rolled her eyes at her own thoughts.  _Gods, I get cringier every day._

“Ready?” she urged, watching Ignis pull his jacket on. “It’s hot outside today, you don’t need that.”

“I’m not leaving it here,” the advisor countered. His tone told them he wasn’t going to change his mind, so Rue and Prompto shrugged it off and hurried back into the hall where Rayne and Gladio waited, standing silently and scrolling through their phones.

“Wow, look at this modern couple,” Prompto teased, laughing when Rayne shot him a look.

Noctis straightened and headed toward Ignis, grumbling something into the advisor’s ear. Rue raised an eyebrow, but no one seemed to notice the exchange. Sighing, Rayne shoved her phone into her pocket and jerked her head toward the corridor leading to the stairs.

“Shall we?”

“Look who grew some manners,” Rue teased, though she spoke hesitantly. She hadn’t forgotten the scolding she’d received the day before. Rayne rolled her eyes and threw an arm around the glaive’s shoulders.

“I can be polite.”

“Can you?”

“I  _did_ grow up in a fucking  _castle,_ ” Rayne scoffed, motioning to the ceiling above them. Noctis rolled his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets. Rayne gestured to him next. “See, that one over there? He spent too much time here and lost all the manners he learned as an act of defiance.”

“Did not,” the king huffed, jumping when Gladio ruffled his hair.

“You definitely did, Princess,” the shield chuckled.

“Iggy taught me,” Noct retorted.

“And Iggy failed.”

“I beg to differ,” Ignis sniffed, arching an eyebrow. “It was Noct who failed to realize the importance of my  _annoying_ lectures.”

“Well, what else is a kid supposed to think when another kid’s teaching him?” Noctis fired back. The light dancing in his eyes contrasted his defensive voice.

“You got a point,” Gladio grumbled. “You’re not as old as you think, Iggy.”

“He acts like he’s twice his age,” Rue laughed, looking at Ignis over her shoulder. “Everything’s so  _serious._  Relax for once, huh?”

“Gotta pump him full of expensive wine,” Rayne murmured. “That’s the secret.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Rue whispered back.

Prompto held the door to the garage open and everyone filed inside. Rue pried herself away from Rayne’s side, ready to follow Ignis to his car as she normally did, but Rayne grabbed her arm, raising an eyebrow.

“Noct wants him alone,” she said under her breath, watching the king and his advisor cross the garage without a second thought as to where the others were. Rue frowned.

“Why?”

“Who knows?” Rayne grinned, her violet eyes sparkling. “Who  _cares?_ You get to hang with the cool kids.”

“What is this, middle school?”

“Did you even go to that?” Rayne retorted, catching the keys Gladio tossed over Rue’s head. The glaive shot him a look.

“Don’t scare me like that.”

“Worst that would’ve happened is a bump to the head,” Gladio shrugged.

“It would’ve  _hurt._ Keys can do some damage,” she protested. Rayne mocked Rue in a high-pitched voice to herself, pulling the driver’s side door open.

“Hey, Gladio!” Noct called. Prompto huffed when the shield hurried to head to Ignis’s car.

“Why do  _they_ get to go together?”

“I dunno, the guys wanna talk,” Rayne replied, dismissing his whining.

“And I don’t count as one of the guys?”

“Not right now, you don’t. Get in. Rue, you’re in front with me.”

“Seriously?!” Prompto cried.

“The girls gotta talk too,” Rayne shrugged, starting the car. Rue frowned, closing the door and pulling her seatbelt on.

“What are we talking about?” she asked in a low voice, leaning across the console.

“I dunno, man, whatever you wanna talk about.”

Rayne backed out the garage much less gracefully than Ignis, pressing the gas too hard to speed up and the break too hard to slow down. Rue gripped her door handle, lips pressed together. Prompto leaned forward between them to turn the radio up. Startled, Rayne smacked his hand and looked over her shoulder.

“You better put your seatbelt on. I’m not  _Ignis._ ”

“Fine,” Prompto huffed, shooting Rue a grin in the rearview mirror.

“So, how’s the cat?” Rayne asked, pulling onto the main road. “Damn, it’s busy today.”

“It’s dinner time on Friday,” Prompto pointed out.

“She’s fine,” Rue answered, raising an eyebrow. Rayne rolled her eyes.

“Look, I need to find  _something_ to talk about. I thought you liked your cat way more than you do.”

“What, you thought I was one of those pet moms?”

"Hell yeah I did,” Rayne laughed. “With the cat sweaters and everything.”

“Yeah, no.” Rue slumped in her seat, smiling faintly. “She just keeps me company.”

“I’m telling you, you need to find someone to love the life out of you,” Rayne reminded her, shooting her a stern look out of the corner of her eye. Rue shrugged.

“We’ll see.”

“We’ll see?!” Rayne snapped her head to the right, staring at Rue. “What, does that mean you’re seeing somebody?!” Rue wrestled a smile.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Maybe? Don’t be a bitch.” Rayne smacked Rue’s leg and huffed, falling back in her seat. “Who is it?”

“I won’t say.”

“It’s not Ari, is it?” Rayne asked, crinkling her nose.

“No? What’s that look for?”

“I didn’t think so. He’s just a lonely bastard.” Rayne’s thumbs tapped the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing, her eyes scanning the road as she thought. “Okay…” She paused, stopping at the light. “It’s not Iggy, is it?”

“Uh, no.”

“Dammit.” Rayne sunk back in her seat. “Give me a hint.”

“No.”

“You’re no fun.”

Rayne started forward to turn left, waiting for a lone truck to pass before hitting the gas harder. Before she got far, a smaller car swerved out in front of her, forcing her to slam on her breaks in the middle of the intersection. Enraged, she slammed her palm down on the horn. Tense, Rue took a deep breath to relax.

“Fucking idiot,” Rayne muttered. Several cars around them honked, demanding for her to move. “Yeah, yeah.” Rolling her eyes, she hit the gas again, mumbling more curses. “I swear, everyone around here drives like an—”

“Think they’ve killed each other yet?” Noctis muttered, slouching in his seat and scrolling through his phone. Gladio shook his head, resting his arm on the open window and letting the wind blow through his fingers.

“No. Rayne can get her fired up, but she won’t push ‘er that far.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Have you ever seen her blow up at her?” Gladio asked, turning to look back at Noctis. The king shrugged, putting his feet up on the console so he had  _some_ legroom. Both men in the front seat were so far back that his knees would be digging into their backs otherwise.

“When she sent Eren to Gralia,” Ignis answered, smoothly turning the corner. A few cars ahead, Rayne slammed on the breaks at the stoplight, clearing not paying much attention. He sighed, shaking his head. For someone with a traumatic history in accidents, she certainly was reckless.

“That’s the only time I can think of,” Gladio agreed. Noctis straightened, pressing his elbows into his knees.

“She went off on  _you_ when you had that meltdown.”

“Yeah, she did,” Gladio sighed, knocking the back of his head on the headrest gently. “I deserved it.”

“Hell yeah you did,” Noct huffed, trying to catch Ignis’s eye in the mirror. “Didn’t he, Specs?”

“I’d prefer not to comment on those events, if you don’t mind.”

“Fine.” He looked back at Gladio, confused but accustomed to the advisor’s strange urgency for privacy in the oddest of situations. “Why’d she freak out, anyway? I mean, I get the part where she helped Rayne, but I don’t get the whole ordeal after that.”

“Something must’ve happened,” Gladio shrugged. “She didn’t make any sense.” He frowned, turning to face Ignis. “And she ran to  _you._ ”

“Something going on between you two?” Noct pressed, reaching forward to grab Ignis’s shoulder. The advisor shook his head, taking a deep breath.

“No. I was the nearest person who wasn’t in danger.”

“No one was in danger,” Gladio grumbled.

“What was the whole panic about, then?”

“I…” Ignis shook his head. “It’s not for me to share. Part of her history.”

“I think I know what happened. She and Iggy are pretty close. Wanna hear somethin’ you  _don’t_ know?” Gladio grinned back at Noctis and Ignis’s stomach sank with dread.

“Gladio, I’d prefer—”

“About Iggy?” Noctis leaned forward. “Course I do.”

“Remember when Marks brought all those kids to the Citadel?”

“Hard to forget it.”

“Yeah.”

“Gladio—”

“Anyway, before that, our  _friend_ here decided to make a move on Rue.”

“Seriously?” Noctis raised his eyebrows, staring at Ignis, who stared irritably at the car in front of him. “Make a move  _how_?”

“Kissed her,” Gladio said, grinning and leaning back in his seat, satisfied. “Look at his face, gettin’ all red.”

“It is not,” Ignis snapped. “And I told you I prefer not to talk about it.”

“… Not well-received I’m guessing?” Noctis asked.

“No.”

“That’s all I know. Anything else happen between you two?” Gladio pressed.

“No.”

“ _Nothing_?” Noct asked. Ignis turned to scowl at him. “What? I’m just making sure. Obviously you don’t feel the need to tell me these things.”

“I didn’t—”

“ _Shit_ _”_

“What?”

Gladio didn’t have to explain. Rayne’s car stood smoking in the center of the intersection, the right side completely crumpled in on itself from the impact of the white truck that sped off down the road. Ignis’s heart raced and Noct’s face went pale.

“Shit,” the king repeated.

Without further hesitation, Ignis pulled around the car in front of him, wedging himself between two vehicles that were already moving and slipping into the parking lot for a plaza, ignoring the loud horns of the annoyed drivers around him. As soon as he was out of the way of traffic, he parked the car, ripped his keys out of the ignition, and ran. Gladio and Noctis hurried after him. The three sprinted down the sidewalk, rushing into traffic recklessly to reach the crushed car. Just as they cross the road, Rayne’s door popped open and she stumbled out on shaky legs, falling to the ground in a panicked mess. Physically, she was bruised. Emotionally, she was destroyed, brought back to the accident that beheaded her previous fiancé years before. Gladio was there before Ignis and Noctis.

The advisor hardly noticed, tugging at the passenger side door. It wouldn’t budge, dented into place. Prompto’s door opened next and the gunman emerged, choking on smoke, but otherwise unharmed. His eyes were wide.

“You gotta get Rue outta there.”

“We’re trying,” Noctis reassured him, watching Ignis struggle with the door. He didn’t miss the splatter of blood across the SUV’s ceiling, unable to deny the gravity of the situation. Ignis grit his teeth and pulled harder, but to no avail.

“I need Gladio,” he demanded sharply, trying to see Rue through the shattered window. Through the smoke, he saw nothing but blood. Her head hung to the left, resting on her shoulder.

“Here,” Gladio said, pushing Ignis aside, grabbing the jagged window frame, and bracing his foot against the wall of the car. He pulled once, grimacing. Nothing. Twice. Nothing. Three times.

The door popped open with a snap and Gladio jerked his hands away, glancing down at his shredded palms. Without hesitation, Ignis reached inside and dragged Rue out, laying her out on the pavement and resting her head on his knees. A nasty cut in the back of her head bled freely and her arms and sides were covered in nasty gashes from where the interior has given way to the sharp edges of split metal. Her hair was stringy, soaked.

“Is she okay?” Rayne asked quietly, clinging to both Noctis and Prompto with trembling hands as her shaking legs nearly gave way over and over again. Her face was red and splotchy, streaked with tears. Gladio knelt beside Rue, lifting her clothes to find the damage.

“Iggy, give me your jacket.”

“Find something?” the advisor asked, shedding the layer and handing it over. His hands were trembling with adrenaline.  _Get ahold of yourself._

“Yeah. Nasty cut.” Gladio balled up the material and Ignis held it in place, pressing it firmly to her stomach. Gladio sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He was hesitating; it put everyone on edge. “Rayne, you in any condition for—”

“Yes.” Rayne stumbled forward before anyone could hold her back, wiping blood from her lip. “I might throw up in the middle. Ignore that.” She grabbed Rue’s sticky hand and shook her head. “Done this too many times. This bitch is a bad luck charm to herself.”

“Just heal her,” Ignis snapped. Both Gladio and Rayne looked up at him, surprised by his anger.

“Okay.”

Rayne squeezed her eyes shut and Gladio rested his hand on her back, watching as curls of light illuminate Rue’s skin, slowly stitching her wounds together. The woman’s lips moved in silent prayer, a plea for strength and mercy, but the life in her face very quickly drained, and before she could stop the bleeding in Rue’s side, she leaped to her feet, raced to the curb, and collapsed, vomiting. Gladio followed her, knowing full well she was drained enough to faint. Ignis pressed his fingers to Rue’s neck, feeling for her pulse. It was there, going strong despite her condition. His shoulders relaxed a touch, but the rest of him remained stern, focused.

“Noct, there’s a first aid kit in my trunk.”

“On it.”

“She’s out,” Prompto reported with a hiss, watching Rayne’s head loll back over Gladio’s arm when he pulled her away from the curb.

“I can’t say I blame her,” Ignis muttered, pushing the matted pieces of hair out of Rue’s face. His heart pounded faster the longer he sat there unable to help. “Does anyone have anything else to—”

“This shit again?”

Ignis’s head snapped up at the sound of Schrader’s voice. No one’s expression neared welcoming when the young man approached and crouched at Rue’s side. He reached into his pocket quickly; Ignis instinctively pulled Rue away. Noctis looked especially unhappy to see his old commander.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded. Cameron reached out to touch Rue; Gladio kicked his leg.

“Answer him.”

“I’m trying to help,” Cam snapped, whirling around to scowl at the king. “Is there a problem?”

“We don’t need your help,” Prompto cut in, finding his bravery.

“Doesn’t look that way.” Cam pulled a pair of potions from his pockets and raised an eyebrow, waiting impatiently for the go-ahead. Noctis glanced over at Ignis, seeking an answer. Ignis took a deep breath and swallowed his pride. Rue needed help more than he needed his integrity.

“Hurry up.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Cameron knelt and handed a potion over to the advisor. The two quickly pressed the curatives into Rue’s bloody hands, watching the sparks dance across her skin. Ignis lifted his jacket to see the wound in her side stitch itself back together loosely, breathing the slightest of relieved sighed. Quickly, he tugged her soaked shirt back down and looked up at Cameron, giving a curt nod of reluctant thanks. Gladio had a far less grateful reaction. He reached down, took hold of the man’s arm, and jerked him up to his feet as if he weighed nothing at all.

“What the hell?” Cam demanded. “I just—”

“Get the hell outta here.”

“Seriously?!” Cameron stood, staring at his audience in disbelief. “I saved her life!”

“Beat it,” Noctis retorted.

Cameron stood a moment longer before scoffing and turning on his heels. Prompto stood a mere inch in his path and, clearly pissed off by the cold reception, shoved the gunman out of his way. In a flash, Noctis appeared before the soldier and shoved him against the smashed car, pressing his father’s sword to his throat. Cam stared down at him, startled.

“Touch him again,” Noct snarled, shoving Cameron again. The soldier raised his hands defensively.

“Okay, damn. I’m leaving.”

Noctis stepped aside, waiting for Cameron to follow through before letting his weapon dissolve. Gladio heaved a deep breath and looked back down at Rue, holding Rayne over his shoulder.

“What do we do with her?”

“She can stay with me,” Ignis volunteered, touching his glasses. The tips of his gloves left bloody fingerprints on his cheek. “That way I can keep an eye on her condition.”

“Doesn’t she need, like…  _real_ help?” Prompto asked meekly. Gladio looked like he agreed.

“I can take of anything else she might need,” Ignis reassured them. “The worst of it is over.”

“The worst of it happens when she wakes up,” Gladio pointed out.

“If anything happens, I  _will_ bring her someplace else.”

“Will you?”

“I don’t want her  _dead,_ Gladio.”

“Guys, trust him,” Noctis butted in, shooting the advisor a look. “He knows what he’s doing.”

“Okay,” Gladio nodded. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.”


	61. Top Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "girlfriend" by Bea Miller

The sharp pangs in Rue’s head woke her abruptly. Her hand reached up to press to her temple and an agonizing pain shot through her right side. Wincing, she forced her eyes open, alarmed by her surroundings. The room was nearly pitch black, lit only by a streak of light that peeked between the curtains on her left wall. It took her a fair amount of time to realize she was laying in Ignis’s bed, in Ignis’s room, in Ignis’s house. Her head relaxed into the pillow for a moment longer, her neck screaming a throbbing protest.

Screwing her eyes shut, she tried to remember why she hurt so  _badly._ She remembered getting into Rayne’s car and that they spoke. She couldn’t quite remember the topic, but it must’ve been funny—she remembered Rayne laughing. A stoplight, lots of horns… and then nothing. She huffed, irritated.  _Is anyone taking care of my cat?_ Gritting her teeth, she tried to sit up. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes; the pain was unbearable. It felt like someone stuck a knife in her gut and sawed her insides open.

“Ignis?” she called, grimacing when her head reacted to her loud voice with shooting pains. She heard movement somewhere outside and waited impatiently. The door creaked open and Ignis stepped inside; he was clearly tense.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, nearing the bed and eyeing her sharply. She sighed as her arm screamed to be let out from under her.

“Everything hurts like hell.”

“Rightly so. Lie back down.”

“Why?” He didn’t answer, waiting patiently. She sighed, sinking back down onto the mattress and resisting the urge to curl up into a ball and cry the pain away. If she did that, it would hurt more. 

“Don’t move.”

“Why?” she repeated. He still didn’t reply, sitting beside her gingerly and carefully pulling up the hem of her shirt. “Look, I appreciate the admiration, but I really don’t think now’s the…” She trailed off when he raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to shut up. “Sorry.”

“Your wounds haven’t reopened,” he reported, touching his glasses and lowering her shirt. “That’s good. You have nasty bruising left behind.”

“I can feel it,” she murmured. Their eyes met and she refused to look away. Pressing her lips together, she reached forward blindly and took hold of his hand.  _No gloves for once. Thank the **gods.**_ “What happened? I’m blanking.”

“A car accident.” He sighed, turning his eyes to the door. “The driver wasn’t paying attention—or perhaps it was Rayne. Either way, you were hit.”

“Of course I was.”

“You do seem to attract all sorts of bad luck,” he replied half-heartedly. She laughed quietly, though she regretted it when her side screamed for mercy.

“Shit,” she hissed. He glanced down at his lap when she crushed his hand in hers. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“Fine. Got any drugs to kick this down a notch?”

“Yes. If you’ll let go, I can go get something for you.”

“Sor—thanks.”

Ignis’s lips twitched into the smallest of smiles and he stood, heading out of the room. She closed her eyes and listened to his footsteps throughout the house, the clinking of glass, and the voices in the living room. Her eyes opened.  _Voices? Who is that?_ Ignis reentered the room only to turn into the conjoined bathroom, filling the glass in his hand. The sound of rattling pills caught her attention, but she still found herself distracted by the sound of people speaking. Ignis silently urged her to sit up, waiting patiently as she dragged herself through the process. She took the pills without question, gulping down the water before setting the glass on the table.

“Who’s out there?” she asked in a low voice. Ignis glanced toward the open door.

“Rayne and Gladio.”

“Why?”

“Their car is totaled, and I didn’t think it responsible to leave you on your own. They’re only staying here until their taxi arrives.”

  
“Oh.” She sank back against the headboard with a cringe. “Are they okay?”

“Yes, they’re fine.”

“Okay. Good.”

A little more carefully this time, she took hold of his hand, glancing down the hall to see if anyone was there. No one. The voices carried on the same.

“Are  _you_  okay?”

“Yes.” Ignis sighed, touching his glasses. “I’m alright.”

“Okay.” Rue pressed her lips together, annoyed when he stood to take the glass and leave. “Wait!” she hissed, leaning forward. Her body  _screamed_ in agony. Ignis paused, watching her recover. “Stupid question.”

“What is it?”

“Can you, uh…” She laughed quietly. “Can you give me a kiss?” Ignis frowned, glancing over his shoulder anxiously. “Please?”

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why?’ Just do it.”

“…”

“Iggy, please.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I almost  _died._ ”

“… You don’t know that.”

“I know that by how you’re treating me.” Ignis shut his mouth, taking a deep breath to cool his momentary irritation. He wasn’t even sure why he was annoyed to begin with. Smiling, Rue knew she’d won. “ _Please?”_

“Quiet,” he huffed.

She grinned, reaching up to pull him down by the nape of his neck so she didn’t have to hurt too badly. The warmth spreading in her chest was a welcome feeling that dispelled all previous panic. Ignis’s hand was freezing when it met her cheek, his fingertips causing a rushing shudder to race down her spine. She laughed, pulling away and staring up into his eyes.  _It has to be different this time._ He cleared his throat, glancing down at the disturbed blankets that pooled loosely over her bruised legs as he began to speak.

“Hey, Iggy?”

Ignis jerked away, straightening and pushing up his glasses to reset himself. Rue slumped against the headboard, teeth gritted to lessen the burning pain that rushed across her skin at the feeling of her tugged stitches. She could hear movement coming closer, taking a deep breath when Gladio entered the room. His eyes caught Rue’s for a moment, and he forced a thin, sympathetic smile.

“Feeling alright?”

“I’m a little sore,” she replied, wresting a cringe as she tried to sink lower. All the shooting pains were making her dizzy, and the dizziness was making her nauseous. The shield glanced at Ignis before coming closer.

“Let me help you.”

“Careful,” Ignis warned softly, watching Gladio gingerly lift Rue and set her down on her back with his brows tightly knit together. Rue hissed when Gladio’s thumb pressed into her ribs too hard, but she nodded her thanks when he stepped away, patting his arm.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Gladio turned back to Ignis. “We’re about to head out. Wanted to talk to you, though.” He gestured toward Rue with his eyes alone, his hair shielding her from seeing. Ignis frowned, pressing his lips together, and nodded.

“Alright. Just—”

“Can you give me the garbage can?” Rue interrupted. Her face had gone white and her eyes were pleading. “ _Now?_ ”

Ignis brushed past Gladio and pushed the small plastic can into her arms. She doubled over, thrusting her head inside as she vomited. Gladio grimaced, shooting Ignis another look.

“Let’s leave her alone,” he urged. Ignis glanced at Rue, wishing there was something he could do to help.  _I shouldn’t have let Rayne take her._ “Iggy, she doesn’t wanna be gawked at.”

“… Fine.”

They left Rue to suffer in the room alone. Gladio closed the door behind him quietly and Ignis led the way back out to the living room. He wasn’t certain what exactly they wanted to speak about, but he could hardly make himself care at this point. His life was a whole series of standing around and waiting for things he couldn’t help to resolve themselves and he was getting sick of it. What happened to the days where action was more effective than standing around aimlessly?

“What did you need?” Ignis asked, watching Rayne stand and come around the couch. She shook her head, pulling him into a tight hug and resting her head on his collarbone. He held his breath and his heart fluttered in his chest. She knew better than to hang on too long, pulling away with a thin smile.

“I’m really sorry about what happened. She’ll be okay.”

“I know she will.” He frowned. "Are you alright?"

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath, looking past him to Gladio, who shrugged one shoulder, pushing his long hair out of his face. “Look, Ignis…” She shook her head, hugging her arms to her body. “I know I said I’d give up on getting you and Rue together, but I’ve been watching. I know you  _really_  care about her.” Rayne’s lips quirked into a smug smile. “Some might even say  _love_.”

“Rayne—” Ignis cut in, impatient and, frankly, embarrassed.

“Yeah, yeah. Here’s the thing.” Her smile fell. “Listen, did you know she’s been seeing somebody?” Ignis almost lost his composure to the smile that dared to break through. Perhaps that was even a laugh that was brewing in his chest.  _This is her big concern?_ He shook his head, frowning.

“No. Why’s that any of my business?”

“You’re putting so much work in.” She took a deep breath, hesitating. “I don’t know if you’re trying to get her to see you for who you are—that’s apparently none of my business. I just don’t want you to waste your time.”

“I’m doing no such thing.”

“I’m just looking out for you,” she replied defensively. “Ignis, it’s like watching you and me from the outside, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.” Ignis scowled.

“It’s a little late for that.”

“… Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She huffed, rolling her eyes. “Keep that in mind. That’s all I’m saying.”

“I will.”  _Do I have a choice?_ “Is that all?”

“Yup.” She jerked her head toward the door. “C’mon, big guy. Let’s go home.”

“Goodnight,” Ignis muttered, watching them go.

His blood was hot with irritation at her unnecessary mention of his long-lived pursuit of her. He dedicated a whole decade of his life to attempting to get her to see…  _What a waste._ Once the headlights of their taxi disappeared, he turned the lights off and headed back to the room with another glass of water. Rue took it gratefully, having set the trash can aside.

“What’d you guys need to talk about that was so secretive?” she asked. “I mean, you obviously don’t have to tell me.”

“It’s top-secret,” Ignis replied under his breath, setting the second glass by the first and eyeing his dresser.  _It’s getting late._

“Yeah?” Rue cracked a smile. “Was it about me?”

“Making assumptions again?” he asked, heading across the room to change into something more comfortable. She grinned.

“Maybe. You gonna strip for me too?” Ignis shot her a scowl over his shoulder and she raised an eyebrow. “You’re the only guy I know that wears a shirt to bed.”

“Lucky me,” he murmured.

“Wait, don’t put it on.”

“Why?” He raised an eyebrow. “And why are you watching me?”

“Why not? You’re warmer without it.”

“Rue…” His expression sank into one of impatience. “I’m sleeping on the couch.”

“Why?”

“So I don’t hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“Rue—”

“Just be careful,” she interrupted. Her eyes told him he really had no option. Sighing, Ignis shook his head and headed across the room to sit on the edge of the bed. She smiled, jabbing a finger into his spine and laughing when it made him twitch away. “Jumpy.”

Ignis turned the lights off and set his glasses aside, carefully getting in bed so that he didn’t cause Rue too much pain. She was unfazed, grinning from ear to ear.

“Are you gonna tell me the top-secret gossip now?”

“It’s classified information. I don’t know how you expect me—”

“Oh come on, Iggy. Just this once.” She turned her head to face him, just barely able to make out his face in the darkness. Her heart sank. “Dammit, I’m wearing my contacts again.”

“Did you want to—”

“No. I’ll just tempt fate some more,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. She reached out and ran her hand over his skin, wishing she could curl up at his side like she usually did. “ _Please_?”

“… You can’t tell anyone.”

“Who would I tell?” she demanded.

“Relir.”

“Damn, got me there.” She sighed. “Fine, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Hm.” Ignis turned on his side, unable to completely suppress the smile that wrestled free upon seeing her eager expression. “Alright.” She grabbed his hand, pressing it to her cheek with a grin. “Word on the street is you’re seeing someone.”

“ _No,_ ” Rue gasped dramatically dropping her jaw. “Oh  _gods_ , they’ve discovered my infatuation with whoredom  _again_! Whatever shall I do?”

“It certainly is a scandal,” Ignis replied dryly, tracing the sharp edge of her jaw with the side of his finger. “Perhaps you’ll be fired for it.”

“Shit. It really does make the Citadel look bad when they hire sluts.”

“Stop calling yourself that,” he huffed, shaking his head.

“Why? Getting on your nerves?” She grinned, cocking her head to the side. “You don’t like it when I’m bad?” Ignis grimaced, refusing to look at her. “Listen, I’m not good at talking dirty. Just let it be.”  _There really was absolutely no need._

“I was only informing you that you’re taken.”

“Damn, never knew.”

“Who would’ve thought?”

“Who would’ve? Really?” She laughed softly, squeezing his hand. “The two of us… Never in a million years.”

“Well, the odds were certainly larger than  _never_ seeing as we’re here.”

“Shut up, nerd.”

Ignis shook his head and fell back against his pillow. Rue refused to let go, clinging to his arm and resting in on her stomach, fingers intertwined with his. Ignis watched her doze off, lost in his own head and humored by Rayne’s genuine concern for his efforts. He glanced over at Rue, happy to see her sound asleep yet again. Something told him this wasn’t going to end like he and Rayne. Everything was going to be  _okay_.


	62. Winds of Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Mind is a Prison" by Alec Benjamin

Ignis frowned down at his phone, staring at the unanswered text messages on the screen. Every waking moment he knew Rue was alone was anxiety-inducing. He checked his connection to make sure he hadn’t simply missed something. Nothing. Frowning, he barely caught the end of Prompto’s sentence and glanced up before setting his phone aside with a sigh.

“I’m sorry?”

“I asked how Rue’s doing…?” Prompto frowned, cocking his head to the side. “You doing okay, Iggy? You look a little distracted.”

“I’m fine,” the advisor replied curtly, resisting the urge to check his phone again.

“… Don’t like her being alone?”

“Pardon?” Ignis scowled, his eyes boring into Prompto’s. The gunman shifted uncomfortably.

“Oh, well, you just seem really on edge and I thought maybe it had to do with Rue. She was really hurt and she needs help. That’s all.”

“… I suppose.” Ignis straightened in his seat and glanced at his monitor once more before standing and shrugging his jacket on.

“Where are you going?” Prompto got to his feet too, uncertain.

“To the throne room.” Ignis passed Prompto stiffly, refusing to look back when he spoke. “Where my true duties lie.”

“O-okay. See you around!” Prompto stammered.

The door to the office closed, and the gunman sighed, looking around the stuffy room tiredly. Ignis strode through the halls with his head held high and his shoulders squared. Everyone who passed would know— _should_ know—that he was the royal advisor if they didn’t before seeing him then. Everything demanded the utmost attention from any passerby—everything but his eyes. Those were hazy, indicating that his mind was anywhere but at Noct’s side at the throne listening to the ramblings of angry old elders who felt the need to express the same opinion several days in a row before attempting to overthrow the king in favor of some ridiculous change again. His mind was an endless struggle between Rue and his work, which he had been dedicated to for so long before she’d entered the picture.

Sighing, Ignis ignored the protests of the pesky little guard who had yet to learn she wasn’t all that important and opened the doors to the throne room. His steps were quick up the stairs, unfazed by the smooth, slippery floor or the narrow path. His entire being was conditioned to remember every square inch of this place, every face, and every detail shared in every whispered conversation around him. Noctis’s eyes boredly turned up to Ignis when his advisor turned sharply to stand by his side, his gloved hands reaching up to give his jacket a sharp, straightening tug.

“Where’ve you been? Not like you to be late.”

“I’m not late, I was preoccupied.”

“That doesn’t mean you weren't late.” Noctis went from slouching to the left to slouching to the right, watching the door and heaving a sigh. “I don’t have any meetings planned for today. Dunno why I have to be here.”

“In case anything might arise.”

“Can’t they get me from anywhere else? I don’t remember Dad sitting here so much.”

“Times have changed. The world is rebuilding.” Ignis touched his glasses, glimpsing down at the young king. “Besides, your court time is only four hours long. You’ll manage.”

“Four hours of staring in silence.”

“Who says it has to be silent?”

“I do.” Noctis straightened, lolling his head to the left with a wince. “You’re boring and my neck’s cramping.”

“My apologies,” Ignis muttered, facing forward. If Noct was in a mood, it certainly was going to be a draining day.

And a draining day it was. Ignis heaved a sigh when he entered his home, welcoming the sight. He hung his jacket up at the door, rolled his sore shoulders, and headed toward the kitchen for a glass of wine, only to pause when he heard movement in the other room.

“Rue?” he called, changing direction quickly. The sounds hesitated.

“Yeah?” Rue finally answered.

Ignis pushed the cracked door open wider to see Rue slouched against the wall, sweat beading her forehead. In her hands she clutched a bundle of clothes, the laundry Ignis had scrubbed the blood out of. On the bed laid an open bag—her bag.  _With my shirt,_ he thought, slightly irritated. He frowned, glancing over at her. She smiled, all too excited as she stumbled back toward the bed. He reached out to help her, but she waved him away.

“What are you doing?” he asked, resisting the overwhelming urge to take hold of her and pull her back into bed.

“I’m getting my things,” she replied cheerfully.

“Why?”

“Because, Ignis,” she scoffed, turning to face him with an innocent grin he could hardly be mad at. “I don’t  _live_ here. I want to go home.”

“Rue, you…” Ignis cut himself off, sighing. “You can’t be alone right now. You’re injured.”

“So let me go home and heal,” she argued. “You’ve left me alone all day almost all week; why’s this any different?”

“Rue—”

“I promise, I felt  _so_ much better after you gave me those potions this morning, okay?” she insisted. Her hand was pressed to the wound in her side and she was panting, struggling to catch her breath.

“You can’t go home.”

“Why? You holding me hostage?” she demanded, getting irritated. “You can’t make me stay.”

“… I won’t drive you.”

“Okay,” she shrugged. “So I’ll call a taxi, or Relir, or Rayne. I don’t  _need_ you to drive me and I  _want_ to go home.”

“I understand,” Ignis insisted, unsure why he was beginning to feel desperate. He searched for an excuse but found none. Rue sighed when she saw it on his face, her shoulders slumping.

“It’s not because I don’t want to see you.”

“I know that.”

“Then chill out.” She offered him a reassuring smile, balling up a shirt and shoving it into the bag. Ignis frowned, hardly able to breathe under the weight that crushed his chest.  _What’s wrong with me?_ “And instead of being stubborn, why don’t you drive me and then we can hang out at my house, yeah?”

It was all coming back to him. The anger that drove him while she let Eren throw her around like a useless object. The fear that gripped his heart when she became Marks’s next target. The pain that knocked the wind out of him the night he held her outside her apartment door, overwhelmingly grateful that she was alive and well after bearing the weight no one else would. He was determined to protect her, and yet, all he could do was watch her crumble under the iron will of Fate over and over again.

If she left, the loneliness that threatened to drown him before might sink in its claws and drag him under for good. He remembered the day she’d panicked, shouted at him even, because she was so afraid of isolation, and yet… She’d made no promises to him. It was he who swore to tell her when he wanted out. This was far more than his infatuation with Rayne ever was, far more than anything he’d ever experienced. Ignis dug his teeth into his lip, forcing himself out of his head.

“How’s that sound?” Rue urged, glancing at him over her shoulder.

“Alright,” he replied, touching his glasses stiffly. He couldn’t trap her out of selfishness. The only thing left to do was to let her decide and hope for the best.

“Cool.” Rue zipped the bag shut slowly, wincing. Back to himself, Ignis reached around her to finish the job. She stepped away, smiling gratefully. “You’re the best.”

“Sit down,” Ignis replied under his breath. “I’ll get your shoes.”

“Thanks.”

Rue sat down on the edge of the bed gingerly, looking up at the blank ceiling over her head instead of watching him leave. Her mind swirled with a thousand thoughts, most of them pertaining to her confusion about Ignis’s easily overcome demands. Why was he so insistent that she stay one moment and alright with her leaving the next? What had him so afraid? She sighed, resting her elbows on her knees and wincing at the tug in her side.  _Why is he so scared to be alone?_

Rue figured she’d try to understand by asking, afraid of what might go unsaid. It was all the secrets and the tiptoeing that destroyed her relationship with Eren; she wasn’t about to relive that catastrophe with something  _this_ real. Ignis set her shoes down on the floor and she stepped into them, refusing his help, though she did let him carry her bags to his car. Her body felt like she’d taken a tour through Hades and experienced every punishment imaginable, but her mind felt light, for once not burdened by the weight of worry.

Exhausted, she slumped into the passenger seat and laid her head back, staring at the ceiling. It was pristine just like the rest of the car—just like Ignis. She frowned.  _Why **is** he so perfect? It’s like the only thing that he’s ever done wrong is kiss me, and even  **that** worked out. _She sighed, feeling the rumble of the car as it started, and sat up a little straighter.  _Well, he **did** call me desperate…_ The time passed quickly despite the silence. Rue tucked her hair behind her ear and took a deep breath, preparing herself.  _Please don’t get mad at me._

“So, what’s up?” she started awkwardly. Ignis raised an eyebrow, keeping his eyes on the road. “With you, I mean. Why were you so upset about me leaving?”

“I don’t think you should be without help when you’re still this early on in recovery,” he replied simply.

“That’s not all of it,” she accused. Really, she knew nothing. She was fishing. He said nothing, staring hard at the road ahead. So, she pushed. “Ignis, you’ve been  _smothering_ me since the accident. Not that I mind,” she added, touching his arm. He glanced down at her hand quickly, jumpy and uncomfortable. “It’s just… I feel like there’s something bothering you.”

“I’m quite alright, thank you,” he responded curtly. Rue huffed, pulling her hand away and sinking back into her seat.

“Were you afraid of losing me?”

“Would you be afraid of losing Relir in an accident?” he countered coldly. His eyes were sharp, just as she remembered seeing them back when she was afraid of him. She scoffed.

“Wow. That’s a harsh way to friend-zone me.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he muttered, clearly irritated. Rue sighed, staring out her window. A long silence passed until she spoke again, her tone much sharper this time.

“Ignis, if this is going to work, we have to be open with each other. You can’t just keep refusing to talk to me.”

“This?”

“Us.” She frowned, turning to face him. “You said you wanted it to go somewhere, didn’t you?”

“I suppose.”

“The hell's that supposed to mean?” she demanded. Ignis pulled the car into park, staring out his own window.

“We’re here.”

“I’m not getting out until you answer me.” He said nothing. “Ignis.” Rue gritted her teeth, turning her body to face him. “Look at me.” He wouldn’t. She carried on. “Do not tell me we’ve just wasted  _weeks_ of our time.” In the mirror, she could see his face. He almost looked angry.  _Almost._ The angle of his brow turned his expression into one of agony and regret. “Ignis.”

“What if we have?”

“We haven’t.”

“Rue—”

“Ignis, snap out of your damn pity party and  _look_ at me!” Rue wasn’t above raising her voice, not if it meant she could salvage this. She wasn’t about to lose this battle to the foes of fear and doubt. Ignis fixed his face and finally obeyed, his eyes boring into hers.

“What?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Noth—”

“Don’t lie to me.” She shook her head, fed up. “What are you so afraid of? Huh?” She scoffed, looking around the car for answers in disbelief. “Here I am. I’ve told you  _everything._ I’ve given up so much for this. I’ve  _overcome_ so much for this. I’m here for  _you._ But  _you_ won’t talk to me, you won’t  _look_ at me, and now you’re telling me that for  _no reason whatsoever,_ we should stop.  _Why?_ ”

Ignis’s eyes fell away from hers and he swallowed hard, brows pinched together tightly. Rue waited impatiently, thriving in the tension inside the vehicle. He turned the words over and over in his head, but none of them felt right. Finally, just as Rue was about to give up and head inside, he took a breath to speak.

“It’s… difficult to explain.”

“I’m not stupid, Ignis.”

“I didn’t say that. It’s difficult for  _me._ ”

He paused, gathering his thoughts. Rue had never seen him so lost, so out of his element. She almost felt guilty for pushing him so hard, but then she realized this was the push he needed. If she could give him at least some semblance of comfort in speaking his mind, they could work through far worse than their little episodes.

“Okay,” she said, waiting.

“I’ve never in this position before,” he added, speaking slowly.  _He really **is** out of it. _She suppressed a sympathetic smile.“And I’m afraid that if I step out of line, I could ruin everything. Clearly, neither of us wants that.” Rue couldn’t hide her smile.

“Dude, you stepping out of line started all this.”

“Yes, but…” Ignis touched his glasses. “This is different. Carrying on that way wouldn’t have brought us anywhere in the—” He cut himself off, disliking the words that he meant to speak. Rue’s heart sank.  _Long run. What’s so wrong with that?_ She was startled to hear his chest shake when he took a deep breath. “I…” He sighed, shaking his head. Rue gently rubbed his arm, offering a sympathetic smile.

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“… I don’t want to be alone,” Ignis said finally. “I was for a very long time and it’s a suffocating place to be trapped in.”

Rue nodded expectantly, asking for more with her eyes. Ignis was overwhelmed with a lot of things at once: the anxiety that froze his hands and pushed adrenaline through his veins relentlessly, the dread that sank to the pit of his stomach like a boulder in a lake, the ache in his chest he couldn’t quite describe… the list never ended.

“I understand,” she said finally, prodding. “So why did you say we shouldn’t—”

“I never said that.”

“You implied it.”

“I… Yes, I did.” Ignis glanced down at his hands, flexing his ice-cold fingers. “I figured… if this was to end now, peacefully, then perhaps we would be saved from the hurt of it later.”

“So you  _don’t_ want this to last.”

“No, I—” Ignis stumbled over his thoughts once more. “That’s not what I meant.”

“But it sounds like you expect it to end.”

“Everything ends, Rue.”

“Yeah, but everything ends when it’s  _supposed_ to.” She leaned forward to catch his eye. “I don’t think now’s the time.”

“But for the future…” His head was beginning to hurt from running in circles. “I don’t know.”

“Ignis,  _what_  are you trying to say?” Rue was exasperated. “You say one thing and then say that you didn’t mean that, you meant something  _else_ but you can’t say what that was either because you’re too scared to or because you really, honestly don’t know what to say. What do you  _mean?_ ”

“ _I don’t know._ ” Ignis snapped, calming himself quickly.

“It’s the former. Just say it; there’s  _nothing_ to be afraid of. It’s  _me._ ”

“And that's precisely the problem.”

“Why?”

“Because.” He pulled the keys out of the ignition, turned them over in his hands. It hurt to say anything close to  _why,_ but he gritted his teeth and bore the edge of it. “I’d prefer something I foresee as difficult to be the least painful it can be for all parties.” He knew he sounded ridiculous, but Rue was listening intently, so he continued. “I don’t  _want_ there to be a moment when there’s a final goodbye, but odds are that it’s inevitable.”

Rue frowned, trying to piece together his words. The realization hit her harder than it should have. She’d seen this before; hell, she’d  _felt_ this before. Ignis was falling hopelessly in love, lost in a new world altogether, feeling things he’d never felt and that he couldn’t understand. The confusion was putting him on edge—it was more chaotic than he anticipated, bearing more difficulty than thought he could handle. He was afraid because he  _genuinely_ wanted them to last until the end of time and that was  _dangerous._ It was his solution that made her laugh, shaking her head. The regret in his face was almost too much to bear.  _You can handle a lot more than you think you can._

“You’re a  _coward,”_ she snickered. He frowned, though he didn’t argue. It was obvious that he thought she was about to rip him a new one. “But apparently  _only_ when it comes to something you haven’t had a class on.” Rue leaned forward, pressing a hand to the side of his face and forcing him to meet her eyes. “Ignis, you’re one of the bravest people to ever live, you know that? I get that this is new and scary and shit, and it’s risky as hell, but you need to trust me. I’m not gonna throw you in the trash for being  _human_.”

“Humanity has nothing to do with this.”

“It has everything to do with this,” she countered. “If we were animals, you’d treat me like Cam did, but we’re  _not._ There’s more to this than that.” She cocked her head to the side. “Just  _trust_ me.” Ignis frowned, processing all the messy, messy words that he knew were right—they were incredibly difficult to swallow when he didn’t want to admit the truth behind them. “Okay?”

“… Okay.”

“Cool.” She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek, forever grateful for his weaknesses. “Let’s go inside and find something to do. Sound good?”

“Yes.” Ignis pulled away to leave the car, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. Rue stood, satisfied, and followed him to the trunk. Sensing his lingering hesitancies, she tugged his arm away when he reached for her bag, pulling him into a tight hug.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she murmured, squeezing her eyes shut. It took a moment, but Ignis let go of the tension and held her close, relishing the moment.

They held on far longer than they needed to, unaware of the young man that jogged past, eyeing them curiously. When they parted, Rue offered a thin smile and jerked her head toward the house, leading the way. Ignis followed, lugging Rue’s bag with him. Curious, Prompto was tempted to turn back, pull out his earbuds, and shout a hello at them, but he figured he should let it be. Rue was probably just grateful that he’d saved her. Shrugging it off, he continued his run.

On his way back, however, his curiosity overtook him when he saw that Ignis’s car was still in the driveway. The sun was beginning to set as Prompto looked around to see if anyone was watching, hurrying up to the house and turning the corner. His heart pounded when he peeked in a window. He felt guilty for being nosey, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to know that Ignis was just helping take care of Rue—helping her recover. He nodded once.  _Just looking out for a friend._

It was the fourth window he peaked in that made his heart skip a beat and his breaths come to a sharp halt. Rue was curled up against Ignis’s side, head rested on his shoulder in the dim lighting as something played on the TV before them. Ignis looked disinterested, but his finger slowly turned round and round in a piece of Rue’s inky black hair, some sort of subconscious, endless motion. When Rue moved, Prompto gasped, ducking. He peeked up again a moment later, sick to his stomach when he saw Rue say something to Ignis before tracing the edge of his jaw and bringing him closer until they—

Prompto scrambled away from the window, ran from the house, and sprinted home with all the power his fear gave him. The development was almost  _exhilarating…_ But it was the realization dawning that he saw something he should  _not_ have seen that made him ill. No matter what happened, he couldn’t tell anyone what he witnessed. Clearly that wasn’t the first time those two had "hung out" outside work. He shook his head when his stomach squeezed. He was so, so happy and so, so afraid. What if they saw him? He slammed the front door behind him, pressing his back to the wood as he gasped for air.  _Holy shit. What if they saw me?_


	63. Gale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Cry For Me" by Camila Cabello
> 
> Wow, haven't updated since last decade! It's been too long :')
> 
> ... Pls don't hate me, I couldn't resist.

“What the  _hell_ are you doing here, Corden?”

“Thought I’d stop by.” Rue straightened, her eyebrows twitching when a sharp pain shot through her side. “I  _work_ here.”

“And you’re on recovery time,” Rayne countered, crossing her arms. “You’re getting paid to lay in bed.”

“I don’t want to lay in bed.”

“Well, I can’t pay you for doing nothing.”

“Watching to learn isn’t nothing.”

The rest of the Kingsglaive watched in stunned silence as the two bickered, knowing full well that Rayne would have throttled anyone else for that level of defiance in  _her_ training room. Rue waited for Rayne’s reply, suppressing a smile she knew would get her in trouble. Finally, Rayne huffed and waved a hand at her.

“Fine. Just stay out of the way.”

“I’m good at that.”

“No,” Rayne snapped, eyeing Rue’s cuts and bruises. “You’re not.”

She shrugged, slumping against the wall as she sank into a seat on a bench. Relir shot her a knowing smile. As the rest of the glaives stood to show off their warping to each other, a few others wandered to the sidelines, accepting defeat that many others did. Without the talent for soaring through time, the rest of them were basically upgraded guards. Rue was okay with that. She jumped when she realized someone was standing over her.

“Oh, hey Ari.”

“Hello.” Ari’s pale eyes flitted toward the practicing glaives. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

“Not at all.” Rue smiled, waiting. He hesitated a moment longer before sitting down, keeping a large gap between them. In his hands, he turned a small book over and over. “Why’s it taking you so long to read that one?”

“Pardon?” His head snapped around to look at her before he glanced down at the book. “Oh.” He shrugged, leaning forward the press his elbows to his knees. “I’m studying it,” he answered finally.

“Studying?”

“Yes.” Ari sighed, flipping through the pages quickly. She could see hundreds of markings, notes, and highlights.

“What, like, language class?”

“No.” He was clearly beginning to get irritated with her prodding again. “To learn how to improve.”

“Improve…? Oh, your writing, right.”

“Yes, my writing,” Ari muttered.

“We don’t have to talk.”

“No, it’s alright. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m a bit… short-tempered these days.”

“Hard not to be when it feels like we’re always taking two steps back,” Rue huffed, running a hand through her hair. Ari glanced at her, nodding slowly.

“Yeah. I guess.” He tucked the book away and looked up at the glaives, watching them vanish and reappear around them, cringing ever so slightly with the air-bending pop that followed every return. “Looks like most of yours is going right, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your friends. The support you receive.” He gestured toward Rayne. “No matter how much you fail, you’re brought back up to your feet.”

“Yeah… I guess.” Rue watched Rayne bark orders, admiring her determination in shaping these people into mindful, powerful soldiers willing to die for king and country. She remembered the faces of those who surrounded her, whether they be supporting her through smiles, gruff teasing, or tight hugs. A faint smile tugged her lips. “I’m  _very_ lucky.”

“That you are.”

“… Ari, do you have anyone to turn to?”

“Truthfully? No.” He shook his head. “But I prefer it that way. The less you have to fall back on, the less that can turn on you.”

“I guess. Kind of sad, though.” Rue thoughtfully chewed on the inside of her cheek. “You know what…” She patted his knee, refusing to back down when he flinched. “I know you don’t really want this, but I just want you to know you can ask me if ever need anything. I don’t know how much help I can be, but I know what it’s like to be lonely. It’s not all so pretty.”

“Never called it pretty,” he mumbled, refusing to look at her. “And I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity. There’s no harm in asking for help, especially when you have nowhere else to turn.” She withdrew her hand, leaning forward and pressing her elbows into her knees. “Just keep that in mind.”

“Right.” Ari stood stiffly. “I’ll remember you and your polished, perfect companions the next time my career's ended.” Rue started to protest, but when she looked up, she caught the light in his eyes and smiled.

“Yeah, you better.”

When Rayne clapped her hands to signal the end of the session and the sweating glaives froze in their tracks, doubled over to catch their breath, Rue stood and stretched, recoiling with a wince when her side cried out in agony. Relir waved to Rue before heading to the locker room and Rue smiled back, watching Rayne approach from the corner of her eye.  _Here’s where I die._

“So, what’s up with you and Iggy?” Rue hesitated; that’s not what she’d expected to hear. Rayne raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

“Me and Iggy?”

“Yeah. Prompto says he saw his car outside your house last night.”

“Oh.” Rue laughed awkwardly, rubbing her arm. “He dropped me off at home last night and offered to make dinner.”

“That’s sweet.” Rayne’s lips quirked into a tight-lipped smile.  _Uh oh._ “Listen, I won’t push you about it anymore, but I know you’re seeing someone, right?”

“Yeah…?”

“And you know how Ignis feels about you… Right?” Rayne’s face was grave, dead set on getting her point across. Rue wasn’t quite sure she understood, feeling her face go red.

“I guess.”

“I just don’t want you leading him on,” Rayne said finally. Rue’s heart warmed. Ignis was lucky to have a friend like her. “He’s really a great guy, and I get it if you aren’t into it or whatever, but I just need to make sure he’s not subconsciously getting his hopes up. I don’t want to see him crushed again.”

“I understand.” Rue nodded, glancing down at the floor. “I’ll be more careful. It was just too good of a deal to pass up, y’know?”

“Oh, I know,” Rayne grinned, throwing an arm around Rue’s shoulders. “So, what’s up with your insubordination?” Rue rolled her eyes, shoving Rayne away.

“Shut up. People already assume the worst about me anyway.”

“I guess.” Rayne sighed, checking her phone. “Alright, well, I have a lunch date with the royal pain in my ass and Cor to get to.”

“The royal…?”

“Noct. Get it?”

“Oh.” Rue rolled her eyes. “Not funny.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Rayne sighed, heading toward the door. “See ya, loser.”

“Yeah.”

Rue huffed, looking around the empty room slowly. Mere months ago, she never would’ve dreamed that coming back here was an option.  _How time flies._ Shaking her head, she stepped out into the hall and meandered down the corridors of the Citadel, staring up at the broad paintings that were hung long ago. She paused in the central room of the floor, her eyes following the golden engravings that traced the black marble walls and pillars. The darkness felt like a tomb.

“You paid to stand around now, Darlin’?”

Rue nearly jumped out of her skin, jerking away from the warmth of the body behind her. She turned to see Gale waiting, eyebrow arched. Her gray hair was pulled back just as tightly as always and her eyes were just as cold. Rue swallowed her surprise and shook her head.

“N-no, I’m not really in shape for fighting right now, so I’m here to watch.”

“To watch,” Gale snorted under her breath, slouching against a pillar and crossing her arms. “That’s what you slept your way up for, huh?”

“Excuse me?”

“What, you think no one saw that you ‘n Scientia were gettin’ close by the time you were at the end of your pretty prancin’ job?”

“Pretty prancing? I was  _working._ ”

“Were you?” Gale chuckled to herself, shaking her head and watching another guard pass by. “Like hell you were. Heard about Schrader. Looks like I was right, hm? You have to fuck your way in one way or another.” Gale turned her sharp eyes to Rue. “If you ain’t got smarts, you got looks. Seems to me you got neither.”

“That whole thing with Cameron wasn’t—”

“Oh please. Rape is an excuse, Sweetheart. You wanted it but you didn’t want the consequences. I get it.” Gale’s smug smile spread wider. “So… Who’s it now?”

Rue took a deep breath and started to leave, feeling the anger boil inside her and urging herself to escape before she did something that got her in trouble. Gale snickered.

“Too many to count, huh? Let me know when all your sugar daddies run outta cash; I’ll throw a party. Got too many whores in this city as it is.”

“What is  _wrong_ with you?” Rue snapped, turning sharply to glower at the older woman. “Why are you so obsessed with seeing me fail?”

“Because you didn’t earn—”

“Oh, and you did?” Rue gestured toward Gale’s slumped posture. “You stand around like you’ve got nothing to do. You’re here because no one wants to deal with the tantrum you’ll throw. Do you have  _anyone_  that gives a shit about you?” Rue shook her head. “I might’ve had to take strange ways to make it, but I’m here and you’re there. It takes more than a  _spine_ and a bad attitude to get this far.”

“Please,” Gale snorted, though the edge was gone from her voice. “You wouldn’t know sufferin’ if it slapped you on the ass.”

“I wouldn’t?” Rue demanded, stepping closer, blood boiling in her veins. “I married a  _pedophile_ at seventeen years old; my father disowned me; I miscarried my first child; dealt drugs on the streets; killed my husband; went to prison; watched a group of psychopaths shoot my five-year-old daughter in the head; starved in a cell; became a prostitute to pay the bills; was assault  _constantly_ by my boss; was forced to slaughter  _children…_ and now to top it all off, I have you  _up my ass!_ ” Her nails dug into her palms, tears ran down her face, and her throat was raw, but she felt good. So, so good. “How’s  _that_  for suffering?!”

Gale stared at her blankly, mouth locked shut. Unable to look at the guard any longer, Rue turned on her heels and hurried down the hall, ignoring Ari’s stunned stare from where he sat cross-legged on the opposite end of the room, book in one hand and pen in the other. Exhausted by everyone around her, Rue stomped her way up to Ignis’s office, not thinking twice about his job. 

When she found it empty, she flopped down into the chair in front of his desk dramatically and buried her face in her hands, groaning.  _Why is everyone so **awful?**_ Sighing, she sat up straight and looked around the room. It was so professional, so clean, so  _Ignis._ Rolling her eyes, she eyed the journal on his desk. If she respected him any less, she might have taken it right then and there to see what he was always scribbling down. That, and the door opened. Ignis paused in the doorway.

“I see you’ve made yourself comfortable,” he commented, closing the door behind him. He took one look at her face and sighed. “What happened?”

“Gale is a bitch.”

“Pardon?” Ignis frowned.

“Gale.”

“Who?”

“The guard.”

“Oh.” Ignis touched his glasses. “Yes, I suppose she is.” They sat in silence for a moment longer before Rue finally looked up, meeting his expectant stare.

“What?”

“Are you going to tell me what happened or are was it a fleeting comment?” Ignis asked, sitting and waiting. A smile tugged at Rue’s lips and her heart fluttered.  ** _Gods_ , ** _I love him._

 


	64. Cat's Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Running" by We Three

"Can you ever  _comprehend_ how much I hate that?" Rayne snapped, whirling her head around to scowl at Prompto. He froze, halfway through slurping a spoonful of soup.

"... Sorry," he murmured, ducking his head. "It's hot!"

"Then blow on it. Or wait." Rayne slouched in her seat, pushing the liquid around in her bowl. Gladio frowned, glancing up at Rue, who shrugged. "Don't think I can't tell you're having a silent conversation."

"Sorry," Rue huffed.

"No, you're not," Rayne sighed. Noctis rolled his eyes at Ignis before clearing his throat.

"What crawled up your ass?"

"A whole glaive of useless assholes," Rayne scoffed.

"Gee, thanks," Rue muttered.

"Don't do that," Rayne snapped, sitting up. "They're just nowhere near as good as the glaive before the Fall. I don't know what to do."

"Work with you have," Ignis replied simply. "It's all under different circumstances."

"Iggy, I don't even think they realize the gravity of the job."

"It's a difficult concept for those on the outside."

"True," Rue pitched in, pointing her spoon at Rayne, who only sighed again. Gladio rested his hand on her back.

"At least you can beat the hell out of them if they mess up."

"Yeah, there's that."

"The weirdest shit cheers you up," Rue grumbled, shaking her head. She glanced across the table at Ignis, who made a point of sitting at the opposite end. Before she could mouth anything, she realized Prompto was  _staring_ at her. She frowned, raising an eyebrow. Catching himself, he blushed and turned away, going back to his slurping. Rayne groaned, tugging her hair.

" _Prompto._ "

"Sorry!"

Gathering the bowls in her hands, Rue carried the dirty dishes to her kitchen, where Ignis was scrubbing away at pans with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Rayne chose Rue's house as their weekly dinner hub, determined to see the new décor. As a result, Rue decided to make a point of telling Ignis where everything was  _very_ clearly—he didn't know her house all that well. Not well at all. He'd only cooked and showered and slept and cleaned and done his laundry there. Rue shook her head, setting the bowls on the counter. Ignis glanced up at her.

"Thank you."

"For giving you more work to do?"

"Well, you can dry."

"I can," she shrugged, leaning back against the counter and staring back at Rayne, who was slumped at the counter watching them tiredly. Ignis sighed, pausing to face her.

" _Would_ you?"

"I guess," she scoffed, though she smiled and reached around him to grab a rag. "Still pouting?" Rue called over her shoulder. Rayne groaned in response.

"No. I'll just so  _tired_."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Must be overworking."

"Wouldn't be surprised." Rue flinched when Ignis handed her a hot plate, staring at the water in disbelief. "Is your skin  _okay?_ "

"I'm fine," Ignis muttered. "But thank you for your concern."

"Weird question," Rayne cut in. Rue scrubbed at the plate carefully, ignoring the angry marks raising on her skin.

"Weird answer."

"Did you have a C-section?"

"Wow, okay." Rue turned around, cocking her head to the side. "What's prompting this?"

"I dunno, I just wondered it one day."

"Hm." Rue shook her head. "No, I didn't. Popped that sucker out."

"Did it hurt?"

"Is that even a question?" Rue snorted, setting the plate down. Ignis listened as they carried their conversation on, brow drawn together ever so slightly. "Of course it did. You try squeezing a nine-pound human being out of a  _very_ small orifice. It  _hurts._ "

" _Nine_ pounds?" Rayne repeated, shaking her head quickly. "Yeah, no. Gladio's  _never_ getting his kids." Ignis huffed a short laugh to himself that only Rue could hear. "How did you not  _rip?_ "

"Oh, I did." Rayne gagged. "Yeah." Rue laughed at Rayne's reaction. "I was in labor for twelve hours, I shit myself twice, and my husband wasn't even  _there_. Fun stuff." She didn't miss the disturbed glance Ignis shot in her direction. "Yeah, I don't know if I want any more," she said to him, laughing. Rayne raised an eyebrow, not missing their exchanged glance.

"Why does  _he_ need to know that?"

"I was talking to both of you," Rue frowned, her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel herself going red. "Because you were both listening. And you're both my friends."

"... Uh-huh." Rayne shook her head and stood. "Alright, Iggy, I was promised alcohol. Where is it?"

"Under the sink," Ignis replied without thinking. He paused when Rayne didn't answer, realizing his mistake. Rue was quick to cover for him, waving him out of her way.

"I demanded too much wine when you were here, dude." Dismissively, she nudged him further to the side and pulled open the cabinet door, grabbing bottles at random and passing them up to whoever would take them.

"C'mon Iggy, how dare you know anything?" Rayne teased. Rue could tell she was getting suspicious that  _something_ had happened between them, probably during Ignis's care for her. But she shrugged it off and uncapped a bottle, knocking her hip to Ignis's with a wink.

"Very unbecoming of me," he replied dryly, closing the cabinet with his knee and offering a hand to pull Rue up. She took it, reaching for her rag. Rayne smacked her hand.

"Come enjoy yourself, you dumb bitch. You never do anything but clean and hide from me."

"Rayne, really—"

"What's your deal?"

"I do stupid shit when I drink, namely."

"Well, I'm here to watch you."

"That's reassuring." Rue allowed herself to get dragged away, resisting the urge to beg Ignis for help.

And so, because of Rayne's irresistible peer pressure and Gladio's mocking, she drank. A lot. By the time Ignis returned to the living room, she was crying from laughing so hard at Prompto's impression of Noctis, which in turn made Noctis (loudly) voice his protests. Gladio glanced up at Ignis, chuckling.

"Sorry, lost track of all the kids."

"What have you done?" Ignis muttered shaking his head. Wheezing, Rue leaning her head back and patted the empty spot on the floor beside her.

"Just told you."

"Come sit, Iggy. Want anything?"

"No, thank you. I'd like to get home tonight."

"Aw, why?" Rue pouted, crossing her legs. He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't live here."

"You should."

Rayne snorted, choking on her drink. Ignis frowned.

"Damn, you haven't had  _that_ much," Rayne cackled.

"I had a lot," Rue argued. "I'm small."

"You're almost as tall as  _me_ ," Prompto argued.

"You're small, too."

"Am not!"

"Gods," Ignis sighed, shooting Gladio a displeased look. The shield shrugged it off, entertained.

"What do we do now?" Rayne asked, leaning back against the couch between Gladio's knees. "Some stupid game?"

"Like what?" Noctis yawned, clearly disinterested.

"Two truths and a lie?"

"No, we know everything already," Prompto groaned.

"Fine, fine." Rayne huffed, trying to think. "Hide and seek?"

"Hide and  _fucking_ seek?" Rue snapped.

"No, I didn't say that. Watch your goddamn mouth, bitch."

"I'll do whatever the fuck I please, shithead."

"That's your boss," Prompto reminded Rue, but he was giggling. Rayne raised her eyebrows at him, watching his face go redder the harder he laughed.

"Who gave the child something to drink?" She thrust an arm out toward him, wiggling her fingers. "Give me your idea, sir."

"Idea?" Prompto  _wheezed._

"ID, whatever."

"Perhaps you should cut her off," Ignis suggested, nodding toward the cup in Rayne's hand. Gladio reached for it, but Rayne snatched it away, shoving it into Rue's lap. Rue snatched up the glass, sniffing and faking a gag.

"Gross," she scoffed, taking a drink anyway. Ignis tried to sneak it away, but she caught him, holding the cup out of his grasp. "Come and get it, Scientia."

"I'd prefer to wait."

"Oh, really?" Rue leaned closer with a grin. "Don't be a little bitch. Get it." Ignis raised an eyebrow.

"I'll wait."

"No, really." Rue cocked her head to the side. "What's it gonna take?" Rayne snickered at Ignis's concerned expression and Noctis seemed to be on the edge of his seat, ready to watch what happened. Prompto was lost in his own world, humming and picking at the rug. "Seriously."

"Seriously what?"

"Get it away from me." She took another drink, nearly choking as it burned her mouth.  _What the hell is in this?_ "Steal the alcohol from the drunk."

"You're not a—"

"C'mon, Iggy. Just take the damn cup," Rayne jeered. "She's  _small._ "

"Don't be a bitch," Rue sang out. Ignis sighed and shook his head. Rolling her eyes, Rue took a third drink and set the cup back in her lap. The playful tension dissipated. "Damn, you're no fun."

"No, I'm not."

"They had us in the first half," Rayne muttered, patting Gladio's shoe.

"They really did." Rue turned to speak to Gladio, crying out when she felt the glass jerk out of her hands. Ignis raised an eyebrow, holding the cup far out of her reach. He could not have looked smugger if he tried. "Dude!"

"You've had enough."

"Damn, you're not a little bitch after all."

"No, he's not," Gladio chuckled.

Rue laughed dizzily, having lost all sense of the world around her  _very_ quickly. Feeling a thrill she couldn't quite understand, she leaned closer to Ignis, smiling up into his face.

"Good job."

"... Thank you."

Ignis looked very uncertain, glancing up at Rayne involuntarily. She was preoccupied with retying Gladio's boots the way  _she_ liked better. Laughing softly, Rue lowered her voice, resting her hand dangerously high on his leg—it was enough to make him squirm. She thought it was  _hilarious._

"Want your reward?" she slurred out, staring intently into his eyes. He couldn't look away; he was  _stuck_ in place.

"Rue..." Her name came out almost silently, raw with helpless concern.

"Sure thing."

Rue was so lost that she didn't see anything wrong with it—not at first. She mashed her lips against his, laughing when he jerked away like he'd never met her before. The conversations came to an abrupt halt around them as she howled with laughter, scrubbing away the tears on her face. Everyone stared with their eyebrows raised to their hairlines—everyone except for Prompto. Ignis's eyes bored into hers, but she wasn't sure why. Why did everyone look so  _surprised?_ Then it hit her.  _Hard._ So hard, in fact, she couldn't breathe.

"What the  _hell_ _?"_ Rayne choked out, breaking the silence.

"It was a joke," Rue muttered, rubbing the back of her neck as her face grew redder and redder. Even Ignis looked more embarrassed than she ever could have imagined, though there was more disappointment than anything else.

"Didn't look like it," Noctis scoffed.

"It's not like we haven't before," she protested. Ignis frowned.

" _Once,_ " he gritted, his eyes sharp.

"Yeah,  _once._ "

"No!" Prompto pointed an accusing finger at them. "Not true!"

"What?" Rayne snapped. All eyes were on the tipsy gunman who shook his head furiously, face flushed. Rue felt sick to her stomach.

"I saw them!"

"Saw us doing what? Talking?" Rue demanding. "Wow, incriminating."

"I saw Iggy's car at her house—" He paused to hiccup, unfazed. "So I peeked in the window—"

"That's fucking  _invasive!"_ Rue cried. Ignis's jab to her back reigned her back in.  _It's over. It's fucking over for us._

"They were  _kissing!"_ Prompto shouted over Rue's protest. "It was dark and they were on the couch and then Iggy—"

"Dude," Noctis snapped, kicking him. His face was getting red, too, and he glanced up at Ignis pointedly for confirmation. Gladio chuckled, slouching in his seat. The advisor's face could not have been more incriminating.

"Cat's out."

"What? Honey?" Rue started to get to her feet. Exasperated, Ignis grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. Rayne was on another planet entirely as she stared into space, dazed by the news. She gathered her words slowly.

"So... Was that the first time, or...?"

"I—" Ignis sighed, looking at Rue. She shook her head, clearing it as best as she could—the world kept rocking below her regardless.

"My birthday," she muttered finally, playing with her hair. Rayne paled. "That's when it all started."

"You're telling me that all this time that I've been trying to set you two up and you've been denying feelings and insulting each other behind your backs... that it's all been  _bullshit_?" She scoffed in disbelief, slouching against Gladio. "Holy hell _._ " She stared up at Noctis. "Iggy's had a  _girlfriend_ for  _weeks_ and we didn't even  _know._ "

"I know." Noctis shot Ignis a  _look_  before huffing and looking away, irritated. Ignis touched his glasses, fixated on the floor.

"Well, this certainly isn't how we meant for you to find out," he replied quietly. Gladio shook his head.

"Sure as hell hope not."

"When did you want to tell us, then?" Rayne demanded.

"When we were ready."

"Which isn't now?"

"... I don't think so."

"Let me give you some advice, buddy," Rayne started, taking a drink from the cup she snatched from his loosened grasp. "You're never  _ready_ for anything. Sometimes stuff has to progress on its own." She eyed him a moment longer, scoffing. "Still, I can't wrap my head around it. This is  _real._ You're the guy Rue's been seeing."

"Oh, okay," Rue snorted. "I see how it is. Iggy's the lucky guy who got the girl and I'm just a slut. Cool."

"Don't be like that," Rayne grumbled, rolling her eyes. " _You_ messed it up, not him."

"Rude."

"But not wrong."

"No." Rue yawned and threw her arm around Ignis's neck; he flinched. "Cat's in."

"That's not..." Ignis sighed, giving up at the shake of Gladio's head.

"Don't bother. Thinks we're talking about Honey."

"Where  _is_ she?" Rue huffed, unsteadily getting to her feet. "Baby, where'd you go?"

"You think she'll answer to that?" Rayne grumbled. Rue rolled her eyes.

_"Honey, you hairy pussy, get your ass in here!"_

"That's one way to interpret that," Gladio laughed.

Ignis touched his glasses with a sigh, defeated but relieved. The burden that crushed their relationship for so long had been lifted so suddenly, and now, it felt as if they really could carry it as far as it was meant to go, whether that was another week or an eternity. Whatever happened, he was satisfied knowing the others had their backs through it all.


End file.
